Summer Temptation: Waking Up In The Wrong Bed / Once a Rebel... / The Devil and the Deep

CHAPTER SIX

‘IT’S supposed to be summer.’ Stupidly forlorn, Ellie stared out of the window at the grey-blanketed land. The steady drizzle had drenched all her plans for the day. How were they going to get out and see the set remnants in this? How was she going to get through another hour under the same roof as Ruben and not jump him—even a roof as huge as this? She had to get out of there.

‘It’s not so bad.’

She turned. He was jeans-clad again. And it was worse than bad.

‘Come and eat something.’ He took her trembling for hunger of the food kind.

‘We can still ride if you don’t mind getting wet,’ he commented, not quite idly, once she’d filled her cereal bowl.

Okay, maybe he knew exactly how much his mere presence tormented her. But she wasn’t ever admitting how wet she already was.

‘I’m not riding with you.’ She glared at him, her spoon halfway to her mouth. She was a frustrated wreck who hadn’t managed to get nearly enough sleep and infuriated with her inability to restrain her attraction to him.

‘If you won’t go on a horse, then it’s the quad bike. It’s too far to walk and it’s rough country, especially in this weather.’ He shrugged. ‘But lots of your tourists would like quad biking, right?’

Quad biking would mean her straddling the seat behind him, her arms around his waist. He was determined to breach her personal space again, wasn’t he? And she was melting already. She shoved the loaded spoon into her mouth and chomped.

‘I can ride one myself,’ she declared once she’d swallowed. She was not cuddling him from behind.

‘Of course.’ He acted as if there’d been no other option anyway. ‘Finish your breakfast. I’ll go get the bikes ready.’

She was glad to see him go—truly glad: his back view didn’t ever worsen any. Not with the casual jeans and clinging tee and, oh, so confident way he had of walking.

So he can walk—she winced at her fan-girly brainlessness—many men can. She returned her focus to the cereal and consumed the lot. If one type of hunger wasn’t going to be sated, another would. At least her legs would lose the cotton-wool feeling.

But twenty minutes later she was astride a powerful machine, with her thighs vibrating. She’d never stand again at this rate. Oh, it was not good. She could not be getting turned on by a hulking great piece of metal. Of course she wasn’t, she was already on.

‘Which way?’ she shouted breathlessly as he paused for her to come alongside his bike.

He just jerked his thumb in answer.

For almost an hour and a half they rode, stopping lots as he pointed out where filming had occurred. Then they powered out and let the machines roar. And she loved every damn second of it. Even in the drizzly, greyed-out day, the landscape was so majestic and ancient, it put all those pesky little things like unquenched lust into perspective—blowing away the sleepless bad temper and leaving exhilaration in its wake.

He, too, had the red-cheeked, bright-eyed excitement. ‘Come on, we can go further up the valley.’

‘The weather doesn’t worry you?’

‘No, are you okay?’

‘I’m good.’ Whether the scenery had been another character in a globally massive movie franchise or not, it was simply stunning. And she wanted more of this wild open air—with him. No matter that her jeans were mud splattered, that the drizzle had gone right through the light coat she was wearing over her jeans so her tee shirt was soaking. As the rain tumbled faster and heavier she was steaming up inside.

She followed his lead across the short tussocky track, down to the vast shingle riverbed. They were about two miles along that when the rain really began to fall. Their wheels churned up large globs of mud. She blinked rapidly to maintain clear vision but ahead of her Ruben’s engine roared angrily as he pushed it. His bike jerked forward and Ellie winced, barely able to watch through half-screwed lids. Despite knowing what was about to happen, she was unable to do anything to help except shout. But even as she did Ruben jumped. His machine tipped, two wheels disappearing into a muddy bank. A half second later, Ruben rolled to his feet in total stuntman style.

‘Hello, Mud-man,’ she teased, hiding the relief that he wasn’t injured. Thankfully they hadn’t been going fast enough for a serious accident.

He was laughing, his eyes alight as he yanked off his helmet and surveyed the damage. ‘I’m going to need a truck to get the bike out of there.’

Ellie refused to notice how his hair had spiked in places, making him look more of a carefree rogue than ever. She hated to think what her own hair looked like now she’d removed her helmet too. More horrendous was the fact they were stuck miles from the lodge and had to share the one bike to get back.

‘You did this deliberately, didn’t you?’ she accused, her adrenalin finding a vent in anger.

‘I’m capable of many great things, but controlling the weather isn’t one of them.’ His laughter became more rueful. ‘This part was more boggy than I expected. And if you must know, the rain bothers me more than it does you.’

‘And why’s that?’ She didn’t believe him.

‘I had plans for today.’

Still astride her bike, she put her hands on her hips. ‘Nefarious ones?’

‘Utterly,’ he admitted shamelessly. ‘Now they’re ruined.’

‘So what are you going to do about it?’

‘Oh, I always have a Plan B.’ He chuckled.

Yeah, the guy was so confident in his ability to turn even the worst situation to something favourable. His plan involved charming the pants off her, no doubt. But while he was incredibly focused in his attention on her, somehow he made it impossible to get past his front. It wasn’t that he wasn’t genuine—unlike Nathan, she knew Ruben was honest in his desire to be with her. But while he answered her questions, he wouldn’t let her past a certain point in his reserve. He closed conversation down or switched focus. But Ellie was both curious and determined not to let him have it all his own way.

‘Don’t think I’m handing over my bike to you,’ she said, remaining firmly astride her vehicle. ‘You’re too reckless.’

He walked right in her path, leaning forward to put his hands over hers on the handlebars. ‘You’re going to make me walk back?’

‘I’ll drive, you give directions.’

‘You do like to be in control of the situation, don’t you?’ he muttered.

In less than ten seconds she knew she’d made a mistake. He’d come round and climbed behind her and was now way too close with his hands too firm around her waist. If she’d been the one to take the rear position she could have made it less intimate.

‘You don’t have to hold so tight, you know,’ she said firmly. ‘I’m not going to drive that fast.’

All she felt then was the laughter vibrating in his chest. She wanted to lean back and absorb it some more. Instead, she put the engine on full throttle.

‘Wow, you really know what you’re doing,’ he commented after she rode them out of the roughest part of the riverbed at high speed. ‘You could go on one of those extreme environment survivor shows. Wild Mountain Woman or something.’

‘Don’t get too carried away.’ She slowed down to hear him better. ‘It’s not like I’m going to rappel down a rock face using a rope I’ve plaited out of dental floss,’ she scoffed. ‘I know my own limitations.’

‘Really? What’s your limit?’

She ignored the innuendo and answered honestly. ‘I still get a bit scared of heights.’

‘Still?’

‘I get a bit funny in the tummy but most of the time I can manage to control it.’ She eased back more as she came to a badly bogged bit. ‘My dad is really into rock-climbing and mountaineering and stuff. He’d be in his element here.’

‘You go climbing with him?’

‘When I was younger I did,’ she said briefly. ‘If I wanted to spend time with him, he was usually somewhere precarious so I had to suck it up.’

‘And you wanted to spend time with him?’

‘Sure.’ He was her dad. All her life she’d wanted his attention and approval—until she’d grown up enough to accept it wasn’t ever going to be forthcoming. ‘I’ve never really understood his need to conquer nature, though. I mean, yes, appreciate the beauty, respect the elements, come and enjoy it. But why does he have to beat it? Where’s the rush in risking life and limb? Man versus nature? Nature is always going to win.’

‘Hmm.’ Ruben grunted a kind of agreement. ‘Where does he live?’

‘He has an outdoor equipment store in one of those ski towns not too far up the road from here.’

‘Oh.’ A pause. ‘Did you want to see him while you’re down here?’

‘No.’

Another slight pause. ‘What about your mum? She’s into the outdoors too?’

‘No, she’s the total opposite. While Dad’s all mountain man, she’s city-queen. She lives in Sydney.’

‘They’re divorced?’

‘Have been for nearly twenty years.’

She heard his whistle. ‘How’d they manage to meet and marry in the first place?’

‘They were a fling, she got pregnant. They tried to make it work but, really, it was never going to. It would have been easier if they’d ended it sooner.’

‘But they wanted you,’ he said, as if that made it all okay.

Sometimes she thought it would have been better if they’d adopted her out to a couple who’d been desperate to have kids. Yes, she was grateful to them for making the decision to have her, but to raise her themselves? They were too selfish for that. Neither had wanted to give up the things important to them. Ellie had had to fit in—to tag along. But she’d never felt truly wanted, never once felt as if she could make them happy. Just once, just for once, she wanted to be the centre of the universe. Not to have to try to squeeze herself into some contortion to fit into the box of someone else’s life. Every kid wanted her parents’ undivided attention and love. No kid could ever have enough—especially if they’d been starved of it.

‘They did the shared-custody thing, but that was because neither wanted me full time.’

His grip on her waist tightened as he pressed in even closer. ‘What do you mean neither wanted you full time?’

‘I mean exactly that.’ Ellie hesitated—did she really want to go into this? Nothing put a guy off more than a woman who went on about her exes or unhappy home life. Men hated drama. And Ruben had already declared he wasn’t into the whole ‘being there’ deal. Given that, it was probably wise to talk about it. Tell him all the crap to turn his interest off and shore up her own resistance. So she slowed more so he could hear her easily.

‘You know, week about? One week with Mum, one week with Dad,’ she explained. ‘Everybody thinks it’s great. You get double of everything. Different rules, different homes. Supposedly you can get away with stuff because you say the other parent “would let you”. But for me it wasn’t like that. I wouldn’t have minded a few more rules—at least then it might have felt like they cared.’

Some spats between them, some arguments over her welfare might have made things seem more normal. But the arguments had been because both her parents preferred their child-free week. The week they had scheduled with her was the one that hindered them. She’d heard the whispered fury when one had tried to get out of a weekend or a week of responsibility. The annoyance of having to have her—that her presence meant ruined plans. They’d each wanted their time away from her so badly. So instead of doing what she wanted, she’d tried so hard to do whatever it was that they wanted to do. To blend, to be good, to please. The only thing that had been easy was the actual move. Trying to fit into each destination was the exhausting bit. In the end she’d just kept quiet in her room, watching her favourite movies. And when old enough, hanging with some girlfriends, and then finding attention in the arms of guys who wanted what she had to offer, but didn’t want to give what she needed.

‘You’re their only child?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, that’s a good thing given the way they were. But it would have been nice for me to have had company.’

‘So what, you have some Waltons family dream now?’ he teased.

She laughed. ‘I’m realistic enough to know that’s a fantasy.’

‘Hell, yes,’ he said with feeling.

‘How do you know it is a fantasy?’ she couldn’t resist challenging. ‘You’re an only child too.’

‘But I grew up down the road from a number of Waltons-esque families. And let me tell you, they were superficial images. I think it’s better off staying small. Very small.’ As in solitary. But even though he knew the answer, even though he knew this was a hopeless conversation, Ruben couldn’t resist asking her, ‘Are you into kids?’

‘I’m not sure. Probably not.’

‘Really?’ Most girls didn’t mean it when they went all definite denial. But Ellie hadn’t been definite; she seemed more thoughtful.

‘Not unless I meet the right guy, you know?’ she finally expanded. ‘He really has to be the right guy. I need him to be there and I need him to want the kid. It’s not nice not to be wanted. I want any kids of mine to have two parents who want them, who love them, who are there for them. For everything.’

Ruben understood—she wanted her kids to have the kind of parents she hadn’t had. He felt hurt for her, but impressed at the same time with her courage. Now she knew what she wanted and she wasn’t going to settle for less. Not for some guy like him. Because he already knew he couldn’t ‘be’ there. His one significant ex had wanted him to ‘be’ there—and that was just for her, not kids as well. If he couldn’t be there enough for a grown woman, there was no way he could be there for children.

‘I’m guessing you’re a no-kids man?’ Ellie sounded amused at his silence.

‘I like kids but they wouldn’t fit in my life. I’m not someone who can guarantee to “be there” for them. I’ve got things I want to do and I don’t think it’s fair to have a family when you can’t give them everything they want.’

‘That beck-and-call thing, huh?’ she asked dryly.

She might be all sarcasm, but he meant it. He didn’t want a family holding him back from all he could achieve. He didn’t have the ability or the desire to meet the demands of a long-term relationship. He’d tried it years ago with Sarah and failed miserably. And his father had succeeded in the relationship but failed on the business front. There was no such thing as managing it all. ‘I’m years off being ready for it in terms of my career and I don’t want to be old like my father was. I love him for having me, but I wish he’d done it sooner.’

‘So your mum was quite a bit younger?’

‘Try thirty years,’ he admitted shortly. ‘Hard to have everyone thinking he was your grandfather.’ He chuckled to lighten it the way he always did. ‘And the looks the two of them got when they were walking along the street, hand in hand and smooching like teen lovers. They just didn’t give a damn.’

He felt her stiffen beneath his fingers and felt the old resentment burn in his gut. He hated intolerance.

‘I thought they had an unhappy marriage?’ Ellie had all but stopped the machine. ‘Isn’t that what you meant by his folly of a marriage?’

‘Oh, no.’ Ruben laughed, relieved her tension hadn’t been in judgment of his parents. ‘No, people couldn’t cope with their age gap.’