Best Friends…To Lovers
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But the glass of wine on Jenna’s empty stomach had made her woozy and she’d clung to him all the way home.
Home. Ridiculous to think of this little structure on stilts in the water as home. Even more ridiculous to think of living with Jenna as home.
Once they’d returned, Mac had showered quickly to rid himself of the bonfire’s smoky scent. When he’d come out, Jenna had been pouring a glass of juice.
She’d downed that glass and headed to the shower. Mac had waited outside the bathroom door until she was done. The last thing he needed was her falling and hitting her head because she wasn’t used to alcohol.
Now he stood out on the deck, as far away from temptation as he could handle. Jenna was proving to be more of a problem than he’d originally thought. Well, she wasn’t necessarily the problem, but his unwanted emotions were. Over and over he told himself to leave her alone, to stop all the touching and kissing, but then he got near her and all of that logic vanished, quickly replaced by hormones.
Bare feet shuffled behind him and he forced himself to remain still. She was tipsy, no doubt vulnerable, and the last thing she needed was flirty advances from him. When she’d sent him away earlier, he’d promised himself when he came back he’d be on his best behavior. That hadn’t lasted long.
But he couldn’t forget the image of Jenna’s face when he’d arrived at the bonfire. She’d truly been shocked that he’d come back. Had she honestly thought he wouldn’t be there for her? What type of men had she been dating?
“My father left my mother when Amy and I were younger.”
Her soft words slid over him and he knew she was about to let him into that part of her world he’d never seen. After years of friendship, he truly knew nothing about her father...only that the man wasn’t in the picture. Mac also knew Jenna and Amy had different fathers, but everything else he knew about Jenna was from events he’d been present for over the past decade.
“Apparently he’d been cheating on her for some time,” Jenna went on. “Mom had no clue. She’d been so in love. She would have dinner ready when he came home from work. She’d iron his clothes and have them ready. She was always hugging him or laughing at his lame jokes. I saw the love in her eyes.”
Mac didn’t like the sorrow in Jenna’s tone, but he wasn’t about to stop her now. He needed to see inside her life in order to understand her better. But maybe she didn’t want him to know all of this.
“Is this a drunk confession?” he asked, only half joking.
“I’m not drunk.” Jenna laughed. “Okay, maybe a little tipsy, but I know full well what I’m telling you.”
Mac turned to face her and an instant punch of lust hit him hard. She leaned against the door frame, casual as you please, wearing a short, strapless dress that clung to her damp skin. Her wet hair lay perfectly over one shoulder. The glistening droplets covering her body caught the moonlight with each breath she took and it was all Mac could do to stand still and not go touch her.
“My mother was devastated when my dad left.” Jenna’s arms came up, wrapping around her midsection. “She was completely blindsided and the bastard left her a note. He was such a coward. He left a note to a woman who was so in love with him she would’ve done anything he asked. He left two little girls who had to grow up too fast and learn the harsh realities of life and marriage.”
The hitch in her voice gutted him. She’d dreamed of a wedding, she’d kept her mother’s wedding dress. Clearly she believed she’d find “the one” despite all she’d witnessed as a young girl.
His Jenna had hopes and dreams, and he was riding a fine line of destroying everything. He knew she was getting attached. He could feel it in her touch, taste the emotion in her kisses.
“Amy and I had no clue how to help my mom,” she went on, staring out into the night as if she were watching the events unfold before her. “She rarely got out of bed. When she did, it was to get a drink. Finally she started keeping the bottles by her bed. Amy would fix my hair for school and make sure to hold my hand as we went to the bus stop. Amy and I were pretty good at covering up the lack of parenting at our house until it came time for report cards and Amy forged my mom’s signature.”
Mac could easily see these two sisters looking after each other, and worrying for their mother who had been slapped in the face by fate’s harsh hand.
“Long story short, our neighbors, who had kids our age, ended up taking us in while mom went to rehab.” Jenna shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. “We don’t talk about that time because it was so dark, so depressing and that’s not who my mother is.”
“That’s why one glass of wine has you stumbling.”
Jenna nodded. “I’ll have a glass of wine every now and then, but I saw how it nearly destroyed my mother. I saw how falling for the wrong man crippled her to the point I didn’t recognize her anymore.”
And that’s why she was fighting this attraction. Everything fell into place now. He’d vowed before not to touch her when he didn’t have to, but now Mac knew he needed to be hands off unless they were in public and trying to keep up this charade.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, Mac moved to the hammock and eased down. Flipping his feet up, he reclined, lacing his hands behind his head.
“Go on to bed, Jenna. We’ve had a long day.”
Silence filled the space, but she didn’t move. He was hanging on by a thread here. As if he weren’t physically attracted enough, now she went and threw vulnerability into the mix. He couldn’t handle knowing she was hurting, but he only knew one way to console her. Having sex with her would be a temporary moment of happiness and once they were done, she’d hate him and he couldn’t live with that.
Having Jenna hurt at his hands wasn’t an option. This could never be just a fling for her and he should’ve accepted that from the beginning. Or, maybe in the back of his mind he had realized it, but didn’t want to face the truth staring him in the face.
“Thank you for coming back,” she murmured. “I thought you’d leave the island.”
“I promised I’d be here for you, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but things are more intense than either of us intended.”
Understatement of the year. And he was seriously rethinking his entire strategy.
“I’m sorry I hurt you earlier,” she went on. “I’m not good at lying to people I love.”
“A few more days and this will all be over.”
“Will it?” she asked. “Because I’m not sure I can forget how you kissed me, how you’ve held me, touched me.”
Shutting his eyes, he gritted his teeth and attempted to dig deep for willpower. If she’d told him this before her confession about her father, he would have been all over her. But now he knew why she was so leery and he knew he had to take a step back...even if it killed him.
“Can you forget?” she whispered.
“Leave it, Jenna. Go to bed.”
“Where will you be?”
“Right here.”
The second he heard her cross the deck, he froze. He opened his eyes to see her standing next to him, her gaze on his.
“You don’t have to stay out here,” she told him, her voice huskier than seconds ago. “Maybe I’m ready to give in. Maybe I’m ready to stop being so damn good all the time and holding out for the perfect man in my life.”
“It’s the wine,” he told her. “In the morning you’ll feel different.”
He pulled his hands from behind his head and laid them on his abdomen. Those hands had done some ugly things, too many to even count, and he didn’t deserve to have them on her body. He didn’t deserve what she willingly offered.
“What if I don’t feel different, Mac?” she asked. Those eyes of hers remained locked on to his and it was all he could do not to jerk her down on top of him and finish what she’d started.
“Go to bed, Jenna. Alone.”
“Mac—”
“Damn it,” he yelled, hating when she jumped. “You have no idea what you’re saying. I don’t do relationships, I do sex. That’s it. I don’t want more and I won’t give more. We’re friends. I shouldn’t have taken it so far when we were alone, but you do things to me. I lost my head for a bit. I promise it won’t happen again.”
She bit down on her lip, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You’re a liar. You want me as much as I want you.”
She was right. He was a liar. Millions of dollars rolled in from his ability to lie and cheat. He’d ordered killings and may again sooner rather than later. He didn’t deserve this beautiful, sweet woman before him.
Mac eased up slightly on the swaying hammock and stared her straight in the eyes. “I can’t want you. Not like that. Not anymore.”
He heard her breath hitch, saw the shimmer in her eyes and he cursed himself. He’d never forgive himself if they were intimate and she fell for him. They’d go their separate ways in Miami and she’d be hurt. She couldn’t be part of his life, not the ugly world he was born into. She’d be ruined and he hated like hell that Martin had been right.
With a tilt of her chin as she blinked back tears, Jenna took only a second to compose herself. “I never thought you’d turn into a coward.”
“Coward?”
She leaned down, gripped the ropes on either side of him, sending the hammock swaying slightly. “You’re afraid of wanting me for more than sex. You know it, and you’re terrified because I know it.”
Damn it, this was going too far. “Jenna—”
“Unless you’re about to tell me I’m right, then save it.” Her eyes narrowed as she licked her lips. Those lips he’d tasted, those same lips he craved when they weren’t on his. “I’m going to bed alone. I don’t care what you do anymore. If you can’t be honest with me, then we have nothing more to say.”
With a quick jerk he didn’t see coming, she flipped the hammock and sent him plummeting face-first onto the deck. Mac turned his head just in time to see her bare feet disappear into the bungalow. The bedroom door slammed seconds later.
Mac couldn’t help but laugh as he lay there on the hard floor. One glass of wine and his Jenna was aroused, angry and feisty.
Damn if that didn’t make him want her more than ever.
Eleven
Jenna woke with a start when her pillow was jerked from beneath her head. Disoriented, she blinked against the bright sunlight streaming through her open blinds. Blinds she’d closed before bed.
Jenna turned her head to see Mac standing beside her bed, holding her beloved pillow.
“Whatever you’re smirking about, go away and give me back my pillow.”
His rich laughter flooded the room. “Get up, sunshine. Today we’re getting back to Mac and Jenna. No wedding talk, no pretend relationship, just us.”
Figuring she had no choice, and since she was already awake, Jenna sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes. “What do you mean, back to us?”
He tossed her pillow behind her and took a seat on the edge of the bed, caging her legs in on either side with his hands. “I mean things have been too intense lately. We need a break from this charade and I just want to be us again.”
She couldn’t agree more. One of them was going to break if they didn’t step away from the emotional chaos that had been controlling them. But how could they just be themselves? They were on this island with a slew of wedding people, her mother and sister and Martin.
“What did you have in mind?” she asked.
“Just get dressed and meet me out front in five minutes.”
Jenna laughed as Mac jumped off the bed and headed toward the door. “I’ll need more than five minutes to throw clothes on and brush my teeth.”
He gripped the edge of the door and threw her a look over his shoulder. “Fine. Seven minutes. No more.”
Rolling her eyes, Jenna grabbed her pillow and tossed it across the room. Mac closed the door just in time.
Throwing her covers off, Jenna was out of bed in seconds flat. She got ready quicker than she would’ve liked, but with her hair up in a knot on her head, a simple tank sundress and clean teeth, this was as good as it was going to get. Who knew what Mac had planned? He was always acting on a whim, living from moment to moment.
Jenna was relieved he didn’t bring up her blatant advances from last night. Perhaps whatever outing he had planned was a way to get them to move beyond this awkward, warped version of a fake engagement. She was too confused over what was going on, between what was real and what was completely fabricated, to keep up the pretense.
The bedroom door flew open just as she slid into her silver-sequined flip-flops.
“Oh, good. You’re ready a minute early.”
Jenna eyed her extremely anxious friend. “Am I going to need a purse or my beach bag? A swimsuit? A little hint would be helpful.”
“You look fine.” He jerked his head. “Let’s go.”
With a shrug, she followed him out. She had no idea what he had planned, but she was more than ready for a break. Who knew she’d need a break from her fake boyfriend only a few days into the relationship? Perhaps she wasn’t cut out for relationships of any kind.
Last night she’d nearly botched their friendship. How would this morning be playing out had Mac given in? Had they spent the night together, would he still be planning this surprise for her? Or would he have woken with regrets?
She shoved aside the what-ifs because, in reality, Mac was giving them a new start this morning. Maybe he was doing this so she didn’t feel uncomfortable. Or maybe her throwing herself at him had meant nothing and this was just another day.
“You’re frowning.” Mac took her hand and led her down the dock. “Everything that happened before this morning has no place in your mind.”
Jenna blinked against the sun. “Just tell me what we’re doing.”
He stopped, turned and offered her a smile that had her toes curling in her flip-flops. “We’re going on a helicopter ride. We’ll be away from the resort, nobody will be around, no cell phones, no fake relationships. Just Mac and Jenna.”
“Sounds simple enough,” she replied with a smile of her own. “I’ve never been in a helicopter.”
Squeezing her hand, he headed to the end of the dock. “Then I’m happy to be your first.”
* * *
Jenna leaned over and stared down at all the loveliness below. The lush, natural beauty, the sparkling water surrounding the small island. No buildings, no people. Absolutely breathtaking.
“I’ve never seen anything like this,” she said into her headset. “I’m not sure I want to know how you managed to get a helicopter at your disposal. Not to mention the fact I didn’t even know you could fly a helicopter.”
Mac’s rich laughter came through the earphones. “There’s plenty you still don’t know about me, Jenna. But you know the important stuff.”
The important stuff. More like what he considered important. Still, she hadn’t exactly opened up to him about her past...or the feelings that were overwhelming her now.
“Mac, look.” She pointed to the breathtaking waterfall that came into view. “It’s gorgeous.”
Mac maneuvered the helicopter down closer. Jenna nearly plastered herself to the window as she watched the aqua water spill into a small, naturally made pool. The tropical plants surrounding the area seemed to invite only those who were lucky enough to find it.
As Mac took the helicopter even lower, Jenna turned to him. “I’ve never seen anything so stunning.”
His eyes flickered to hers briefly. “I have,” he murmured as he watched the controls. His words were so soft, so low, but she’d heard them loud and clear through the headset.
“What are you doing?” she asked as he hovered over the ground.
“Landing,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Landing? Did you plan on bringing me here?”
With a shrug, he maneuvered the helicopter down on the ground and killed the engines. Finally, when he took off his own headphones, she did, too.
“Mac?”
A slow, easy smile slid over his face. “I knew this island was here. I wanted to show you, but I wasn’t sure if we could land here or not.”
Jenna squealed as she stepped from the chopper. “This is the coolest place ever.”
Smoothing down her cotton dress, she tiptoed over the bright vegetation. The colors in all the blossoms and blooms were beyond overwhelming. She’d never seen anything like this.
Spinning in a circle, arms outstretched, she attempted to soak up all the beauty, to fully absorb everything all at once.
She caught Mac’s smile as his eyes locked on to hers. “I knew you’d love this place,” he told her. “I was hoping I could get you close enough because I found out there were plants and flowers here that are nearly nonexistent anywhere else in the world.”
He knew her so well. He may buy jewels and fancy gifts for his arm candy, but Jenna knew their bond was too deep for such superficial things. When he wanted to surprise her, he went above and beyond.
“This is even better than the time you brought me a pint of Rocky Road and that terrible movie when I twisted my ankle.”
She’d joined her local gym in an attempt to get healthier, but she’d tripped over the elliptical before she could even get on the darn thing. Jenna had taken that as a sign and never gone back.
“I’d say this surprise trumps that one,” he agreed with a laugh. “Let’s explore.”
Mac held out his hand and as she placed her palm against his, she couldn’t help but smile. The day was gorgeous, Mac was fighting to keep this relationship right where it should be. This is what they were. They were smiles and good times. They were surprises and last-minute planning. Well, he was last-minute; she preferred a spreadsheet.
“I can’t believe you did this for me,” she muttered as they walked toward the rushing sound of the waterfall.
“You needed a break. I wanted to take you somewhere where we could be ourselves, we didn’t have to worry about pretending or cell phones or work.”
“This is perfect.”
Jenna’s foot caught on a thick root, sending her tumbling against Mac. He caught her with his firm grip and held her tight. With her face right against his chest, she inhaled that familiar woodsy cologne and tried not to moan or close her eyes at the fact that just the smell of him turned her on. That’s not what they were here for. He may have taken his flirty advances into another territory, but then he’d backed off. He’d wised up or given up, one of the two, and pushed her away.
So, whatever chance she may have had with her best friend, it was gone, and if she wanted to salvage the greatest friendship she’d ever had, she needed to cool it.
“Okay?” he asked, tipping her chin up.
With a nod, Jenna eased away. “I’m good. Just need to watch where I step.”
He kept his hand in hers as he led her around the island. They discussed plants, flowers and he actually told her a few things she didn’t know. Apparently the mysterious Mac O’Shea had done some homework before taking her out on this little excursion.
When he bent down to pluck a bright yellow flower, she halted her steps. He slid the blossom behind her ear, shoving her hair away, smoothing it on down past her shoulders. A shiver crept over her at the slightest touch and the way he seemed to be seducing her without even trying. Was he even aware of the effect he had on her?
“Don’t look at me like that,” he murmured, his fingertips trailing along her jawline before tapering off.
Jenna blinked and started walking ahead. Any response would only add fuel to the desire or start an argument, and at this point, they couldn’t afford either.
The sound of the rushing water seemed to echo. Jenna walked on a few more steps then froze. She was at ground level with nature’s pool, watching as the cascades fell over the edge of the cliff. The crystal water seemed so inviting, so refreshing. She’d worked up a slight sweat walking around, but she didn’t mind one bit.
Slipping free of her flip-flops, Jenna tiptoed down to the water’s edge. The coolness washed over her feet. She reached to the modest hem of her dress, and held it up as she waded in just a bit further.
Behind her, she heard Mac stepping in, as well. “This is perfect,” he stated.
Keeping her back to him, she stopped when the water reached her knees. “I could stay here forever.”
Only the sounds of a random bird chirping and the rushing of the waterfall enveloped them. Besides the beauty of their surroundings, there was nothing here that demanded their time or attention. Mac, Jenna and their own private island were all that existed in this world.
Jenna glanced over her shoulder and nearly gasped. Mac had taken his shirt off, those tanned muscles glistening in the sunshine. His board shorts were wet as he stepped in even further.
“If you want to take your dress off, there’s no one else here,” he told her.
Swallowing, Jenna kept her grip on the material bunched in her hand. “No, I’m...”
Mac stood only a few feet away, but he eased closer. “It’s just me, Jenna. Don’t be embarrassed.”
“I only have on a bra and panties.”
Mac quirked a brow. “And how is that different from a swimsuit?”
“I don’t like wearing a suit, either.”
“I know.” He took her hand and opened her fingers, releasing the material. “You’re beautifully made, no matter what you think or what you’ve been told. I’m not pressuring you, but if you want to swim in this once-in-a-lifetime place, then do it. Don’t let insecurities rob you of this moment.”
Why did he have to be so right? Why did he have to get inside her head and drive out all of the doubts? She’d justified each and every insecurity and felt she had a right to them. But when Mac talked to her, when he used that voice of reason, she listened. If she let her low self-esteem run her life, she’d miss out on some amazing things.
Turning away, she gripped the hem of her dress and slid it up over her head. Using the material as a shield, she moved closer to the shore and gave it a toss. Pulling in a deep breath, she rounded back and froze.
Mac’s intense gaze was on hers, his hand extended, inviting her to join him.
Just friends.
Every now and then that reminder crept back into her head.
But there was something very intimate about being in a remote location with your friend, wearing nothing but your underwear.
No matter what happened today, this would be a memory she’d keep forever.
Twelve
What the hell was he thinking, inviting her to take that dress off? He’d slept in a damn hammock last night to avoid temptation and here he was begging for it to be rubbed in his face.
Jenna was absolutely breathtaking in her simple pink bra and panty set. Women threw themselves at him, purposely wore the sexiest of lingerie to entice him, but nothing got his attention more than a self-conscious Jenna wearing cotton. She moved him...so much that he had no idea what label to put on his emotions.
But he’d turned her away for a reason and he needed to keep in mind that, after this week, they both would return to Miami and the life they were used to. As friends.
Between thoughts of her in bed last night and texting Ryker, Mac hadn’t gotten much sleep. Ryker was still playing cat and mouse with Shane. Unfortunately, Braden was still MIA and Mac was starting to worry. He was also growing concerned he’d have to make a decision about Shane in short order.
Not something he wanted to think about while holding Jenna’s hand in a place that could rival paradise.
“I know I keep saying it, but this place is so amazing.”
She slid her hand free of his and ran her fingertips through the water. She dunked down so the water just skimmed the tops of her shoulders and Mac knew she was trying to keep her body hidden from him. He wasn’t going to say anything. He didn’t want to call her out or make her even more embarrassed. All he wanted was for her to see herself the way he did, the way any man with breath in his lungs would see a voluptuous woman.