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She hauled her concentration back to the scared mother. ‘Millie’s having trouble breathing and sometimes she stops for a short time, and that’s called ap-noea. The mattress she’s lying on tells us when that happens.’
Rachel laced her fingers tightly. ‘But she starts again, right? She’ll always start again, won’t she?’
Elly wished she could promise her that. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Gabe examining the baby, his forehead furrowed by a line as deep as a trench. ‘Millie’s receiving oxygen and has started on antibiotics, but she’s not responding as fast as we’d hoped.’
Gabe swung his stethoscope round his neck and with eyes filled with concern he bobbed down so he was at the same height as Rachel. ‘Believe me, I get how terrifying this must be for you, and Elly’s done everything by the book, but Midden Cove’s not equipped to handle a baby this sick. Millie’s not improving, she’s getting worse.’
Rachel grabbed Gabe’s arms. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Millie’s going to need assistance to breathe. The sooner we evacuate her to Hobart or Melbourne the better.’
His melodic voice that had always sounded so deep and in control when he spoke to patients suddenly had an unanticipated tone of understanding threading through it. It was as if he really did know how she was feeling. It all seemed surreal. First he’d touched the baby and now he had empathy she’d never seen in him before.
‘What do you think, Elly?’ Rachel’s trembling voice immediately grounded her. ‘Josh is on his way back from Launceston. Can we wait?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, Rachel, but Gabe’s right. Millie needs treatment by a specialist paediatrician.’ She pulled her phone out of her coat pocket. ‘I’m ringing the retrieval team now.’
As she spoke to the triage doctor at Royal Children’s Hospital, she heard Gabe gently and carefully explaining to Rachel how the team would intubate Millie and attach her to a portable ventilator before taking off in the helicopter.
She rang off. ‘They’ll be here in forty minutes and, Rachel, you’re going to Melbourne with her.’
Gabe immediately handed Rachel his phone. ‘Ring your husband and tell him what’s happening. I can talk to him if he wants that and he can ring either Elly or me at any time.’
The terrified woman nodded mutely and with trembling fingers pressed the numbers on the touch screen.
Gabe caught Elly’s elbow and gently pulled her aside, his touch sparking off a traitorous wave of heat that spun through her, calling up the memory of every embrace and every kiss they’d shared.
That’s just silly. Not every kiss would have been wonderful.
‘Elly.’
He spoke softly and his warm breath stroked her ear. She felt her body start to sway toward him, seeking his as dangerously as a bug flying toward light. Be strong. She turned, which moved her slightly away from him but gave her a full view of his face. For the first time she noticed deep creases carved in around his eyes, and half-hidden in the shimmering blue was a seriousness she’d never seen before. A light shiver whooshed across her but this time she knew it wasn’t a ghost.
He ran his hand through his hair. ‘I’m staying with Millie until she’s airlifted.’
Surprise skittered through her. Gabe was a triage specialist—assess, prioritise, organise and move on. ‘One of the nurses will special her until the team arrives and we’re just next door, examining the other three babies.’
He shook his head vigorously. ‘You examine the other babies, send the nurse to set up the vaccination clinic in A and E and as soon as Millie leaves I’ll deal with all the suspected adult cases.’
Without waiting for a reply, he turned his attention back to Millie, examining her and rechecking that everything in the emergency intubation kit was ready just in case he needed it.
She’d never seen him drop the triage code like this or seen him so connected with a child. A million questions flooded her but not one could be voiced. Yet.
Six hours later, Elly came up for her first real break. The Jennings baby had been airlifted along with Millie, and the babies from the christening, although thankfully symptomless at the moment, were under close observation.
The local chapter of the Red Cross had joined forces with the state emergency service and had put together a phone-tree and a door-knock, notifying everyone of the need to come to the vaccination clinic over the next two days. Elly marvelled at how much could happen so quickly when a community pulled together.
Her phone beeped and vibrated as two text messages came in. She read the first one. ‘Hoping to see you this evening. Dev.’
A stab of guilt pricked her. She’d completely forgotten to get back to him after her one word text of ‘patient’ she’d sent earlier in the day. Now, after the day she’d experienced, she really only wanted to go home and sink into a bubble bath and pretend that her day off had actually been relaxing. Putting off her reply to Dev, she pressed ‘show message’ on her phone and the second text came through. ‘Just dim. U?’
She smiled and typed ‘dim’ on her phone, using predictive text, and got ‘fin.’ Some things didn’t change. Gabe’s fingers flew faster than his predictive text and he never checked before hitting ‘Send’. She walked down to A and E and as she rounded the corner of the central desk she saw him over by the window, talking on his mobile. She waved as he looked up.
He gave a quick, tight smile loaded with tension before turning away and ploughing his left hand through his hair. She caught the words ‘I won’t be too much longer but only if you think can you manage.’
Manage what? A ripple of sadness washed through her, reminding her of how much everything had changed and how separate their lives really were. Once his face would have lit up when she walked into a room and he would have pulled her into his arms, phone call or not.
Come on, get a grip, don’t go backwards. He obviously wanted privacy and not wishing to be accused of eavesdropping she moved away and tossed her white coat into the linen-skip. She’d just collected her bag from the bottom of the filing cabinet when Gabe appeared at the desk, pocketing his phone. His wide and generous mouth quirked up at the edges in a weary smile and again she noticed deeper lines that hadn’t been there two years ago.
‘So where can we go for an uninterrupted debrief?’
She hadn’t expected that, especially given the phone call. ‘If you need to leave we can always—’
He held up his hand. ‘As colleagues, we always debriefed our cases and the fact we’re no longer a couple isn’t a reason to stop.’ He plunged his hands into his pockets. ‘But can we get out of here to do it?’
Unwanted anticipation fluttered in her stomach and she tried to shut it down. This was work. ‘Sure, why not? I could do with some fresh air. Are you up for a walk?’
He grinned, the old Gabe suddenly front and centre. ‘Sounds good to me.’
They strolled through the hospital gardens, past the massed silver-bush plants with their cheery white flowers and silver-grey leaves, and then they turned toward the beach; two doctors discussing their cases, rethinking their treatment options and learning from pooling their thoughts.
Elly automatically turned left at a spindly tree and walked into the picnic area-cum-children’s playground nestled in the dunes above the sea wall. It was a popular place for families as the tidal river on this side of the bridge was quiet compared with further downstream where an eddying rip swirled at the tidal junction. She loved to sit on the sea wall and watch the parade of yachts, their brightly coloured spinnakers bulging in the wind as they raced between the channel markers, but most of all she loved to listen to the children’s shrieks of delight as they played on the swings and play equipment or on the beach below.
Often children would come and chat to her, holding up their buckets and proudly showing off their soldier crabs and periwinkles. Even though she knew it was a crazy daydream, she sometimes pretended she was part of it and was at the beach with her own children. One day. She bit her lip. She’d been telling herself that now for over two years and she wasn’t any closer.
Dev says he wants children.
Unease sat like a rock in her gut. The thought that had held tempting appeal last night seemed slightly tarnished in the full sunshine of daylight.
Gabe stopped suddenly, and did a rapid one-eighty-degree scan of the area as waves of tension rolled off him like sea-fog.
‘Something wrong?’
His sunglasses hid his eyes as he patted down his pockets and then with an audible sound of relief he produced his phone. ‘Sorry, for a moment I thought I’d left it at the hospital.’
She remembered seeing him slide it into his pocket back at the desk and at the time she’d been slightly puzzled by the uncharacteristic self-conscious look he’d given her. She’d put it down to one of those uncomfortable moments ex-lovers had. But this reaction to the phone snagged her. She’d known him to lose things in the past and barely react to their loss, other than saying, ‘It’ll turn up eventually.’ It was another jar, another change in him, and they were starting to form a list— his reaction to Millie, his empathy with Rachel, the deep lines around his mouth and eyes, and now this.
‘For someone on holidays, you seem a bit strung out.’
‘Nah.’ He grinned and winked; his blue-on-blue eyes sparkling and his gaze so direct and all-encompassing it was as if she was the absolute centre of his world.
Careful. She recognised his flirting look of old but it gave her scant immunity as she tried unsuccessfully to steel herself against the traitorous tendrils that wove through her.
The mangled strains of ‘Greensleeves’ drifted across on the summer breeze and Gabe abruptly turned and started striding out of the park, making his way toward the music and calling over his shoulder, ‘Do you want an ice cream?’
It took her brain a moment to catch up and her legs even longer, and by the time she arrived at the van he’d already ordered her favourite: a lemon gelato.
‘Enjoy.’ He handed her a waffle cone bulging with two enormous scoops of the tangy confection.
‘Thanks.’
‘Let’s sit over here.’ He tilted his head away from the park and the late-afternoon sunshine picked up the straw colour of his hair, making it dazzle like golden thread. A golden god visiting the mortals.
Elly looked at the Norfolk pines and their prickly fallen scale-like leaves and said, ‘Let’s not. The sea wall’s much prettier.’
Wariness crossed his face. ‘There are more people there.’
‘Are you worried we’ll be seen? Fear not, one ice cream with me won’t ruin your free-and-easy bachelor reputation. ‘ She licked her ice cream and started strolling to cover her jab of disappointment.
He fell into step with her. ‘That’s not what I meant. I just thought it would be good to have somewhere quiet to talk rather than a park full of tearaway toddlers.’
Now, that was more like the Gabe she remembered. ‘Rest easy, mate. It’s past six and any self-respecting toddler is at home, having dinner and a bath.’ And she was right. The park was virtually empty, and a small group of teenagers left the moment Elly and Gabe walked in.
But for someone who had wanted to talk, Gabe was strangely silent as they dangled their legs over the sea wall and ate their ice cream. When they’d had work to discuss they’d had conversation but they’d well and truly debriefed and now there was just awkwardness, an almost tangible bubble of distance bulging between them. This must be the ex factor. This was the sum of all their time apart and different dreams. This afternoon she’d realised that Gabe had changed and she guessed she must have too.
We’ve both moved on.
Melancholy circled her heart but at least now she knew for sure there was nothing left between them. The moment she finished her ice cream she was going home. She’d have that bath. Her niggling conscience said, You should ring Dev.
A cold, wet sensation crossed her hand and with a start she realised her now-melting gelato was dripping. ‘Oh, ick, I’m getting all sticky.’ She held it up high and gave it a giant lick around the perimeter of the cone. Liquid ran down her jaw.
Gabe laughed. ‘Some things don’t change. You were always hopeless with ice cream.’ He leaned forward, his hand gently cupping her jaw while his thumb slowly swept across her chin.
She stilled at the touch that should have been practical and prosaic yet was anything but. Tingles shot through her, making her tremble from head to toe. Stop it and get with the programme. You heard, we’ve moved on! She tried valiantly to claim back control and she swallowed. Hard.
Intense, light blue eyes instantly darkened to navy, holding her gaze transfixed as if it was bonded to her. His head moved slowly toward hers.
Pull back now! Maintain distance! But she stayed perfectly still. She no longer cared what was sensible or logical; she just wanted him to kiss her one more time to prove that it really was all over between them. Call it an experiment. She was a doctor, a scientist and she needed to know if she’d been living on memories overblown by time and longing. Memories that had interfered with every attempt at a new relationship. Now she had a chance for reality to finally reveal those memories as fraudulent and then she and her traitorous body could truly move forward.
His five-o’clock shadow brushed her cheek as his scent of good health and fresh pine swirled around her. She tilted her head so his lips brushed hers. Like a jolt of electricity buzzing through her body, tingles and shimmers raced through her, quickly chased by heat. Wondrous, glorious heat that set her alight and demanded more. Much more.
His tongue traced the outline of her lips and with a moan she opened her mouth as her hand released the ice cream to the sand below. He tasted of spearmint and chocolate and home. His mouth covered hers without a hint of hesitation, knowing exactly where to go and what to do to make her his, and, God help her, she never wanted it to stop.
The noise of car doors slamming, seagulls squawking and gentle waves lapping faded away as every part of her was absorbed by the kiss. She wanted to invade his mouth and reclaim it as hers, but his stroking lips derailed her so instead she gloried in his urgent pressure of desire, his softness of seduction and the intensity of his lust.
Ribbons of pure pleasure unfurled, streaming through her and stripping her bones of strength. She leaned into him for support and felt him tremble. As if reading her mind, one hand cupped the back of her head as the other pushed her shoulder and they tumbled gently back onto the grassy knoll.
His lips slid off hers for a moment and as he stared down at her a million undefined emotions flashed in his eyes. ‘God, I’ve missed you.’
Her heart quivered as his husky voice filled her with desperate yearning and hope. ‘I’ve missed you, too.’ Her hands pulled him closer, needing to touch him, needing to feel the tautness of his muscles against her skin and his leg entwining with hers as he lay half against her.
His hand slid under her blouse, seeking her breast, which ached for his touch. His fingers touched the hard nipple and she gasped as a rainbow of colours showered her mind. Now her tongue invaded his mouth, taking what she knew belonged to her, and she revelled in her power as he shuddered against her.
Sand trickled into her waistband, grass prickled her heels but she hardly noticed as her fingers traced the length of his spine, the touch and feel so familiar to her that she knew the outline of every bone and crevice and exactly where to press to make him tremble.
As if on cue, he groaned against her and his mouth trailed down her neck; nipping, branding, kissing and whispering words that ignited the last remnants of longing into raging need. She never wanted it to end.
‘Daddy!’
Gabe stiffened and instantly broke the kiss.
She vaguely heard the sweet call of a child’s voice, immediately followed by deeper adult tones, and she reached out to touch his cheek. ‘I guess you’re right. This is getting way out of hand for a public park so let’s go back to my place.’
He made a guttural sound and rolled away from her.
Warm air rushed in, making her feel cold after the raging heat of their bodies, and her desire-hazed vision instantly cleared. Shock scarred his handsome face, giving it a haggardness she’d never seen before, and her blood turned to ice. ‘What’s wrong, what’s happened?’
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