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‘No.’
He frowned.
‘So, if you’re not sure you like me, why are you here?’
‘Maybe for the same reason as you.’
‘I’ll tell you why I’m here.’ And she waited for that beautiful mouth to tell her the reason, for him to say something crude perhaps, yet it was he now who surprised her. ‘Unlike you, I happen to know that I like the person I’ve recently been spending time with. Admittedly, that’s taken me by surprise—no offence, but you’re not my type.’
‘None taken,’ Nina said, ‘because you are so not mine.’
‘However …’ he was looking at her mouth as he spoke, his hands sliding up between her thighs ‘I … think the sex could be amazing, and I actually have no idea where we are going and no idea where this is leading, just that I would like to get to know you some more.’
He was still looking at her mouth.
‘I should warn you, though.’ He smiled as he did so. ‘Those touchy-feely, sensitive new-age lovers you’re used to? I’m going to ruin you for ever …’
‘Jack, you don’t know me at all—there haven’t been any sensitive new-age lovers, as you call them. I’ve never been in a relationship.’
She felt his hand still on her thigh, smiled at the flare of shock and panic in his eyes.
‘I’m not a virgin.’ Nina couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction.
‘Thank God for that.’ Jack blew out a breath. ‘Never?’
‘Never,’ Nina said. ‘I don’t really have time.’ And she certainly had no intention of telling him about her past or admit to Jack that he was the first man she’d been attracted to in the longest, longest time … ever, really. That the nights spent on friends’ sofas had rather too often had a down side in the shape of her friends’ brothers or fathers—no, Jack didn’t need to know all that.
It was far easier to let him think this was just casual, even if she’d never wanted anything like this in her life before. So that was what she told him, that just for tonight was completely fine. And Jack told himself that he could deal with this. After all, he’d never been in much of a relationship either, but there was a certain disquiet at her honesty that she was only there for sex. Jack noted his own double standards and got over them quickly, his hand resuming its path on her thigh.
If she had thought he would haul her over his shoulder and throw her onto the bed she couldn’t have been more wrong. If she had thought he might quickly undress her, she had it wrong there too, because instead he kissed her.
A kiss that was far more tender than expected, a nice kiss that turned into a deeper kiss, but really, though, his kiss was measured and thoughtful and the hand on the back of her head was not bold or forceful, it was the other hand that misbehaved.
It climbed up her stockings, without even pretending to idle, and he stroked her through her pantyhose. He pushed where he could not enter, he fiddled and he probed and he stroked her as, like a gentleman, he kissed her.
And she kissed him back and wriggled on his knee until she could not stand the tease, couldn’t take the frustration any more.
‘Tear them …’ she breathed into his mouth.
He ignored her.
‘Jack …’ She pulled her mouth away. ‘Tear them.’
‘No.’ His whole hand cupped her. ‘Because I like them and I lied, it will be awkward when I see you in these stocking at work …’
‘I’ve got loads.’ But he kept stroking her and kissing her till she wanted to climb off his lap and take the bloody things off herself, except he pulled her down harder to him. She wanted him to undress her, wanted him to take her to bed, wanted to catch her breath, but he did not let her. Jack just kept touching her through her stockings and kissing her, because with his hand working its magic a kiss was all it would take to undo her. And he did not give in even when she tried to move a little to undress him to reciprocate.
‘Why are you so stubborn?’ Jack said when she held onto her orgasm.
‘I’m not.’ She could hardly get her breath, yet she refused to just give in to him. She didn’t know why she was fighting it, she just didn’t want to let go.
She wanted him to let her down, wanted him to be selfish, wanted to fault him in some way so that she could get him out of her mind, but she was failing miserably as she bit her lip, desperately trying not to come. He felt her thighs clamp around his hand, felt her breath rapid in his mouth and he stopped stroking, just enjoyed the small jolts of her body and the triumph of beating her resistance, but more than that, her reluctant pleasure was his.
He angered her.
She didn’t know why.
Maybe it was the combination of good looks and wealth and knowing that things came so easily to him.
Even her.
That he simply knew he was that good made her angry and she turned on his lap to face him and refused to simply hand over control, to just lie there when he took her and whimper his name.
So, facing Jack, she kissed him, a different kiss this time. He was detained at her pleasure now, so it was the buttons to his shirt that she opened. He moved her hips up just a little higher so that his erection pressed into her and she kissed down his face to his neck, trying to gauge his collar line, nipping his neck just a little lower and sucking hard. There was a fight for control here and one Jack wasn’t used to, but he was up for it, and their mouths found each other as she tackled his belt.
And she didn’t just find out what sort of a lover Jack was, Nina found out what sort of a lover she could be.
That she could demand and be met, that she could offer no explanation but be understood. She unbuckled his belt and the top button of his trousers too, freeing him, and he let her feel a lot of him, then his hand moved in and shredded her stockings and her panties too, and she moaned with the pleasure of his fingers inside her and his mouth on her neck, and then somehow Jack made even the search for a condom sexy.
‘I’ve got a little job for you.’
She had to lean over to his discarded jacket, had to find the little silver packet while his other hand stroked her bum, and then she had to rest back on her booted heels with his huge erection between them.
‘Here.’ She held out the packet.
‘I’m busy,’ he said, trying to find the zipper to her dress. ‘You put it on.’
‘You’re old enough to dress yourself, Jack.’ And she stayed back on her heels and held him, stroked him upwards over and over with both hands, one after the other in an endless tunnel till Jack was the one holding on now, Jack was the one fighting not to come.
‘Why are you so stubborn, Jack?’ Nina teased.
‘Why are you?’ Jack said, and lifted her hips enough so that she was over him, till her hands were removed from him and she had to steady herself on his shoulders. Then his hands held her hips and he pulled her down just a little way, just enough to teach her a very hard lesson, and then he lifted her a little and he watched her face as he did it again, and it was then that Nina conceded these were dangerous, reckless games and she never played them, but it was very easy to lose your head around Jack.
He watched as she went to retrieve the packet, but Jack changed his mind.
He didn’t want sex on the sofa and neither did he want to be driving her home at two a.m. or calling a taxi, which he was somehow sure that she’d demand, because, unlike others, Nina didn’t seem to want an entry pass to his bedroom. Nina wasn’t even attempting that futile entry into his heart.
This, it would seem, was all she wanted.
It was Jack, as he kissed her into the bedroom, who wanted more.
He took off her dress in one motion.
And off came the purple jumper too and he looked at the tattiest bra he’d ever seen, and he even made her laugh as he took it off.
‘Dressing to impress, Nina?’
‘I don’t need to.’
She didn’t, because never had Jack cared less about the packaging. All Jack wanted was what was inside, but still she resisted.
Not with her body.
Her mouth met his as she undressed him. Nina indulged herself, because he was easily the most beautiful man she had ever seen, or had felt beneath her fingers. He was as luxurious naked as he was dressed. He smelt like Jack but a close-up version that she got to taste, and he acted like Jack, but a more intimate version that she now got to sample.
But, yes, she resisted, because even with Jack inside her, even with her body flaring with heat as he moved deep within her, even while being given the full Jack Carter experience, she held back just one vital piece, and he knew it.
‘Nina …’ He was chasing something and he didn’t know what it was. He could feel her wanton beneath him, every lift of her hips bringing him closer. Her mouth was as probing as his, on his neck on his shoulders, her fingers scratching his back. It was the best sex he could remember, but he wanted something more. She was moaning beneath him and he guided her towards freefall, except he was used to more cheering from the stands, for the chant of his name or shouts of approval, for a giddy declaration as he hit the mark. He didn’t need it and never had he actually wanted it, but as she throbbed beneath him, as he gave in to the sheer pleasure, Jack still wanted more.
His tongue was cool when he kissed her afterwards and she lay there, catching her breath for a very suitable while.
So now she knew just how good sex could be and all it did was confuse her, because she just couldn’t imagine feeling like this with another man. She looked at Jack and he looked at her and Nina had to be very sure that she held onto her heart, but he had no idea of the gift he’d just given her. Even if soon he’d move on from her.
No idea at all.
‘I’m going to get a taxi …’
He almost laughed.
A black laugh perhaps, because how many times had he lain in this very bed, wishing he could hear those words rather than have to do the conversation thing in the morning?
And now he had them from the one woman he didn’t want to hear them from.
‘You’re not getting a taxi, your clothes are all torn …’ Jack said. ‘I’m not putting you in a taxi with no underwear on.’
‘Drive me, then.’
‘I will,’ Jack said, and pulled her over to him. ‘In the morning.’
Most mornings he woke up feeling somewhat stifled, an arm draped around him, or fingers running up his back, or, worse, the smell of breakfast and the sound of talking, except when he woke at six the next morning, Nina was exactly where she’d removed herself about two minutes after he’d pulled her over towards him.
Curled up on the edge of the bed and facing away from him.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IT ACTUALLY WASN’T awkward when Nina saw Jack at work.
She was too busy.
She was allocated several new families and as the days passed her paperwork piled up, but there was always somewhere else she needed to be.
‘How are you doing?’ She smiled at Tommy, who was looking so much better than he had on admission. The oncology nurse Gina was adding something to his IV and smiled at Nina. The medication had, for now, stopped the seizures and there was some colour in his cheeks, though it wouldn’t be for long. Tommy was starting chemotherapy on Monday and from what she had heard it was going to be especially gruelling.
‘Good,’ Tommy said, and then introduced her to the woman sitting by his bed. ‘This is my aunt, she’s staying for the weekend.’
‘I’m Kelly.’ Tommy’s aunt smiled. ‘I’ll be coming back as often as I can. Mike’s got a job interview today, but he’s coming in this afternoon.’
‘That’s good.’
It was awful.
Nina couldn’t believe how hard it was for this family, couldn’t fathom having to look for a job when your child was so sick. She was trying to arrange some accommodation for Mike nearer the hospital for the times Tommy would be here during his treatments, but there was only so much she could do and as she said her goodbyes and walked off, Gina voiced what she was thinking.
‘Cruel, isn’t it?’
Nina nodded. ‘I’m going to look into it all again—see if there is anything more the department can do.’
‘The poor man’s trying to be in five different places at once, and the only place he wants to be is here with his son.’ Gina sighed and when Nina got back to her office she sat with her head in her hands for a moment, because she’d added mandatory counselling to the list of places where Mike needed to be.
And again she questioned herself.
Still, she couldn’t dwell on it for too long as she needed to add an urgent addendum to her report for court the next day.
Jack had rung a few times but she’d kept it short, had told him she was snowed under with work, had done everything to not give in to the urge to repeat things with him.
Yes, she had enough to contend with and it wasn’t going to get easier any time soon, Nina thought as an angry Janey landed in her office at four p.m., after school, sulking, angry and confused about why Nina now had the three-bedroomed apartment but they still hadn’t moved in with her.
‘I’ve applied to be guardian for both you and Blake and the department has to come and inspect the flat and check everything thoroughly.’
‘Yeah, well, I don’t believe you,’ Janey shouted when Nina told her that she’d put the application in as soon as she’d secured the apartment. ‘If you really wanted us, you’d have had us living with you years ago.’
Janey used words like knives and hurled them at Nina regularly, but though Nina had learnt to deflect most of them, these were the ones that hurt the most, because it killed her that she hadn’t been able to keep her family together.
‘It’s not that straightforward, Janey.’ Nina did her best to stay calm. ‘And it’s not fair to Barbara either, for me to just—’
‘Barbara’s a cow!’ Janey huffed.
‘I don’t like you speaking like that.’
‘Well, she is.’
Nina gritted her teeth and not for the first time questioned if she was up to the job of dealing with such an angry teenager. Of course, professionally she was but, as she often said to tearful parents who sat in this office and asked how she handled things so well, she got a break from it, got to go home at the end of each day. If things went well, in a few weeks she could be fully responsible for Janey, and what scared Nina the most was that if she wasn’t up to the job, Janey’s bad behaviour would escalate.
‘Things are moving forward,’ Nina said. ‘I know it seems to be taking ages but I haven’t been in the apartment long. Why don’t we go and get something to eat and I’ll show the photos I’ve taken? I’ve got all the furniture now for your room.’
‘I thought you were working.’
‘I’m going to be working till late,’ Nina said, ‘so I can take a break now.’
They took the lift and there were several choices where they could eat—there were a few cafés in the hospital so that parents could come and share a meal with their child if they were able to, or to spend some time away from the bedside with siblings and such. The whole hospital was geared to being not just child friendly but family friendly, but Nina was starting to feel as if her dream of her family being together was fading before it even had a chance to take off. Maybe they’d do better just walking.
‘What do you want to eat?’
She was met with Janey’s shrug.
They settled for the coffee bar and took a seat at the back where it was a quiet enough to talk. Nina bought Janey her favourite muffin and frappe and herself a regular coffee, deciding she wasn’t hungry yet and would get something to eat later.
‘Here.’
Should it annoy her that Janey didn’t bother to say thank you? Should she let the small things go?
No.
She thought of their parents, how they’d insisted on good manners, but if she said anything, Janey would simply get up and walk out, and not wanting to risk that she let it go.
‘I am doing my best.’
‘Whatever.’
‘I’ve got Blake this weekend,’ Nina said. ‘Why don’t you come?’
Janey didn’t answer. Nina quietly thought that Janey might very well be jealous of the more structured access Nina had with Blake, but that was because of his age and the distance he lived from Nina, which made shorter visits impossible. With Janey it was mainly holidays and the occasional sleepover, especially as Janey’s weekends were taken up with sport activities.
‘I could take you to netball.’
‘I’m not doing netball any more.’
‘How come?’ Nina asked. ‘You loved it, Blake and I were going to come and watch.’
‘Yeah, well, don’t bother. I got dropped.’
‘How come?’ Nina pushed. ‘You were doing really well.’
‘Till I swore at the umpire.’ Janey was peeling apart her muffin, not looking at Nina as she spoke. ‘And Barbara says that if I’m going to carry on like that then I can spend the weekend sorting out the basement.’ She looked up at Nina. ‘I guess if you ring her, though, she might let me come …’
‘No.’ Nina did her best not to be manipulated. Barbara was doing the hard yards, dealing with Janey, and Nina simply refused to interfere in the groundings and early bedtimes Barbara was trying to rein Janey in with. ‘Barbara’s right not to just let it go. Janey, you loved your netball. What were you doing, swearing at the umpire?’
‘She was a stupid cow.’
‘Everyone’s a cow to you …’ Nina tried to hold onto her temper, tried not to upset Janey, but it was impossible. She had no real authority with her sister. Janey pulled all the strings and she started pulling them now.
‘Yeah, well, you’re the biggest cow.’ Janey stood. ‘I’m stuck cleaning out a basement all weekend while you’re busy spoiling Blake. Thanks a lot, sis …’
And she stormed out of the café and straight past Jack, not that she noticed him.
Jack noticed her, though.
He moved out of the way as a fast-moving, angry teenager stormed past and he looked into the café and saw Nina resting her head on her hands. He wanted to go over to see if she was okay but he’d just been called for a consult in ICU so he’d make time for Nina later.
And he would.
Jack was determined now, because he could not, could not, stop thinking about her.
It was an absolute first for him.
Jack’s days were too busy to spend time dwelling on one woman, but he woke up thinking of Nina, spent the day with her sort of present in his mind. And the evenings were impossible, because she was always busy and sometimes she didn’t even return his phone calls.
Another first.
So when he rang at seven that night only to find out that she was working late and didn’t have time to stop, like some idiot he found himself walking through a dark social work department to the light from under her office door with a bottle of sparking water and some take-out.
‘Jack, I really can’t stop.’
‘You can’t eat?’
He had a good point. That coffee with Janey had been a long time ago, but it wasn’t just the timing that was the problem. She was used to Jack looking completely gorgeous and groomed at all times, but she was slightly disarmed at the sight of him in scrubs—he was displaying rather more skin than she could deal with and say no to, so she kept her voice matter-of-fact as she declined him.
‘I can eat, but I have to work. I’m due in court in the morning and I have to finish this report …’
‘You haven’t got five minutes?’
And she remembered her own manners, or she got the delicious waft of food, or it could have been that Jack was someone she found it incredibly hard to say no to, but she gave him a smile and gave in. ‘Thank you.’
‘How was your day?’
‘Busy,’ Nina said. ‘How was yours?’
‘Full on …’ He chatted as he served up their meals. ‘I’ve spent most of it up in ICU. There’s a little one giving the paed team a headache. Still, we’ve got her stable now and a plan for tomorrow.’
‘Sounds good.’ It didn’t annoy her any more that he never really used patients’ names.
‘And there’s been progress in other areas,’ Jack continued. ‘We got the go-ahead on the supervised waiting room.’
‘That’s going to be so well utilised.’ Nina took a forkful of noodles and they were utterly delicious. ‘I can’t think of the times I’ve wanted to speak to a parent away from the family, to be able to have the children looked after, even for a little while …’
‘It was the one thing the ER nurses really wanted, so it will be good to get it off the ground. So, what have you been up to?’
‘Just work,’ Nina said.
‘How are your brother and sister?’
‘Pretty much the same.’
She was nothing like anyone he’d ever dated. Usually it was the woman trying to get Jack to open up or to tease out information from him. He knew full well that Janey had upset her today and yet Nina simply wouldn’t share it, and it infuriated him as he swallowed a taste of his own medicine.
They chatted some more about work and Nina finished her food and thanked him for stopping by, but Jack didn’t move from the chair he was sitting on.
‘Jack, I really need to work.’
‘I won’t interrupt.’
He sat quietly as she typed and Jack drank sparkling water till his patience waned.
‘What’s the report about?’ Jack asked.
‘It’s not one of your patients.’
Still he sat there.
Still she worked.
‘Tell you what.’
Nina rolled her eyes as Jack interrupted her again.
‘Why don’t you come back to my place when you’re finished?’
‘Because I have to go home. I need to wear a suit for court in the morning.’
And he really wanted to see her in a suit! ‘Tell you what, give me your keys and I’ll go back to your place …’
‘Excuse me?’ She had no idea the concession he was making, how he never went to a woman’s place. Jack liked to be at his own home, never wanted to be too far into anyone’s life. ‘Like I’m going to give someone I hardly know the keys to my apartment.’
‘Hardly know?’
‘Jack.’ She gave up typing and stood, cleared up the noodle boxes and threw them in the bin. ‘I’m going to be here till midnight at least—one a.m. at this rate.’ She walked over to him, looked down at him and it was as if he made her feel reckless. She couldn’t tell him that she adored the distraction, that right now all she wanted was bed and him, but she could not, must not give her heart over to him.
‘I really need to work.’
‘And I think you deserve a break.’ He pulled her onto his lap and they both knew where that had led last time and again he kissed her.
His kiss remained potent and brought her straight back to the places they’d once been. He was unshaven tonight and she felt the scratch on her face and pulled back just a little. ‘I need my face for court …’
‘Let me kiss you somewhere else, then.’
He was funny and dark and sexy and she had already proved they could work together, that there would be no awkwardness between them whatever went on in the bedroom, but she was not going to love him—all this her eyes told him as she sat there.
‘Nina, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I want you in a way I have never wanted anyone else …’
‘Have me, then.’ She wriggled from his lap and he watched her head lower as she bent and removed her boots and her stockings.
‘I meant—’ Jack’s voice was rising ‘—I want more of you, I want to go out, to do stuff …’
‘Jack.’ She stood there, bare-legged, bare-bottomed beneath her dress, but she would not bare her heart to him. ‘What is it you want? Do you get a kick out of really making someone fall for you, make sure that they’re really head over heels and then the second they’re yours you dump them?’
Actually, yes, Jack thought, but decided it was better not to voice it.
Because it was different this time.
‘This is different.’ He settled for that.
‘Yes, it is,’ Nina said. ‘You don’t have to pretend this is going somewhere—neither of us do.’