Be With Me

Chapter 5

I stopped fighting Jase on the whole riding-versus-walking thing pretty quickly, especially as the leaves from the huge maple trees planted throughout the campus turned from bright green to a beautiful array of red, gold, and brown. September eased into October with a spell of rain that seemed to be never ending. Fall was well under way, and every morning and night, a chill rolled off the Potomac, warning that this could possibly be a very cold and a very wet winter.

And at least once a week, he’d stashed a cupcake in the Jeep, keeping it cool in a little cooler in the backseat. On the way to east campus, we’d share the tasty goodness. He was going to make me gain ten pounds this way, but so far I’d had a variety of cupcakes—Twix, Oreos, strawberry, white chocolate, Skittles—that was kind of gross—banana and chocolate, and a dark chocolate cupcake that was so decadent I felt like I had to go to church after eating it.

Today we shared a red velvet cupcake with some kind of cream cheese icing.

It was divine.

Wherever he got these cupcakes from deserved a gold medal in fucking awesome.

Thick, fat clouds crowded the sky by the time music class let out on Wednesday. It was going to rain. Again. With my knee, I had to be super-duper careful on the slick sidewalks. Busting my ass would be as embarrassing as it would be devastating.

I waved good-bye to Calla as I climbed into the Jeep. The second after Jase turned the ignition, the Elvis Presley channel on XM kicked on. Ugh. As he backed out, I leaned forward and turned it to the Octane channel.

Jase stopped—just completely stopped in the middle of the parking lot. ‘Did you just do what I think you just did?’

‘What?’ I asked innocently.

Cars were pulling out behind us, but his Jeep blocked their path. The look on his face said he so did not care. ‘You just turned off The Man for …’ He glanced at the radio, grimacing. ‘For Godsmack?’

‘Hey. Don’t you talk shit about Godsmack.’

‘I have no problem with them.’ A horn blew. He ignored it. ‘Until it affects Elvis.’

‘I cannot listen to Elvis.’

His mouth dropped as his brows winged up. ‘We cannot be friends any longer.’

I giggled.

Jase narrowed his eyes as he finally—thank God—put the Jeep into drive. ‘It’s a good thing you’re cute or I’d drop-kick you out of this car.’

I laughed outright as I settled back in the seat. ‘I could say the same thing about you with your questionable tastes.’ A wide smile pulled at my lips as he shot me a disgruntled look. ‘Country music has got to go.’

‘Oh, you don’t know what good music is.’ Jase hung a left. ‘I’m gonna have to educate you.’

Warmth bubbled up in my chest, and I struggled to ignore it. We went back and forth on the music while he searched for parking. It took a bit of time since he passed up several open spaces farther out. I knew why. He didn’t want me to walk, and while catering to my leg usually made my skin itchy and too tight, I didn’t say anything as he circled the main drag a few times until a spot opened up between Sara Creed and the Den. It was nice of him, courteous even, and I couldn’t let myself think that it meant anything else.

‘How’s Jack?’ I asked when he started preaching the gospel of Johnny Cash.

A certain light filled his eyes, a look of pride, and I went all ooey gooey on the inside. ‘He’s doing great. Started kindergarten this year. His teacher—Mrs. Higgins—said he’s the smartest kid in class.’

I smiled as I slid out of my seat. ‘Are you sure he’s your brother?’

‘What do you mean?’ He appeared in front of me and grabbed my bag out of the backseat before I could even move. There was an odd look to his gray eyes. ‘Of course, he’s my brother.’

‘I was kidding.’ I grabbed for my bag, but he slung it over his shoulder. ‘You know, with him being the smartest kid in class, I wasn’t sure how he could be related to you.’

The wariness vanished from his gaze and he smiled. ‘Ha. Jack gets his intelligence, good looks, and charm from me.’

‘Uh-huh.’

Chuckling deeply, he held my bag in one hand and draped his other arm over my shoulders. The weight was sudden and distracting, causing the nape of my neck to tingle, sending tiny shivers down my arm.

To Jase, this wasn’t a big deal. Nor did he probably even notice the stares as we walked up the stairs to the Den, passing people who knew him—because everyone knew him. I easily remembered the first time he’d done something like this—the evening he’d arrived without any warning.

It had been the weekend after the … incident with Cam. My brother had holed himself up in the basement, having already drunk himself through the collection of scotch our father had stocked. Jase had apparently been talking to Cam through text and had grown concerned. He’d dropped everything and driven the several hours to see him.

I’d been dumbstruck when I saw Jase standing in the foyer, talking to Mom and Dad. He was the most handsome boy I’d ever seen—his hair shorter then, but no less wild, and his eyes a steely gray as they’d drifted and landed on where I’d been more or less hiding, peeking around the door to the family room.

Something had filled his gaze then, and I’d feared that all he saw in that moment was the cause of Cam’s problem. It had been freezing that night, as the evenings were in early December, but the house had suddenly become suffocating and too hot.

I had hidden again, but this time outside, curled up on one of the wicker chairs on the patio, watching the stars twinkle in and out, wondering how exactly all this had come about.

And that was how Jase had found me. Instead of giving me the fourth degree about what happened with Jeremy and everything that Cam had done when he found out, he talked to me about Christmas, my dancing, what my favorite class was, and everything else that had nothing to do with what had almost ripped our family apart. To this day, he’d never asked me about Jeremy, never brought up the stuff with Cam. It just didn’t exist between us.

By the time my fingers had turned to blocks of ice, Jase had dropped his arm around my shoulders and steered me back into the house, into the warmth, and it was probably that very second that I had fallen for him.

So this simple gesture was most likely nothing to him.

But to me, my insides were twisted into little, complicated knots. Made worse when his arm caught the edges of my ponytail, tugging my head back and sending a shiver of fire across my scalp. My breath caught as my gaze flicked up, unexpectedly meeting his as we stopped in front of the blue-and-gold double doors.

His eyes were silvery, a deep and brilliant gray that stood out in stark contrast against the darkness of his pupils. The look in his gaze was unreadable to me, but there was something hot to it, something so intense that it drew me in. My lips parted.

Jase’s lashes swept down. His mouth worked around words, but the doors opened, and the cool air rushing out halted whatever he was about to say. That strange, secretive half smile appeared on his full lips as he looked away.

His arm slid off me as we entered the Den through the entrance where the food was ordered. Only then did he hand my bag over to me. Our fingers brushed as I took the strap, and heat flooded my cheeks.

He lowered his head, so dangerously close to grazing my cheek with his lips as he spoke. ‘There’s something about you that I’ve noticed.’

Standing as close as we were had my pulse pounding for two different reasons. My gaze immediately sought out the table where my brother usually sat. Fortunately, it was on the other side of the room, and I could see the top of Avery’s coppery head. Their backs were to us.

‘What?’ I asked, a bit breathless.

Jase didn’t respond immediately, and the fact that everything about this moment felt intimate and so public was nerve-racking. ‘You blush a lot more now.’

And that made my cheeks burn brighter.

The lopsided grin grew. ‘It really makes me curious about what you’re thinking.’

I’d die a thousand deaths before I shared the interworking of those thoughts. ‘I’m not thinking anything.’

‘Uh-huh.’ One finger trailed across my hot cheek as he drew back and straightened. Turning toward the line forming, he said, ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.’

Nodding slowly, I followed him to the back of line. I was starving, but not for food—for him. For him to touch me again, to kiss me, to look at me with that half smile that had such a strange effect on me, and I shouldn’t be thinking that way.

Especially when we were minutes from sitting down with my brother, who would not appreciate me drooling all over his best friend.

Using the time in line to get control of myself, I got a fried chicken salad, figuring the green stuff had to outweigh the crispy goodness. Jase ordered a basket of fries and the kind of hamburger that would go straight to my ass.

Plates in hand, we approached the table. Female heads turned and bowed together, whispering and giggling as we navigated the maze of white, square tables. I doubted he was unaware of it. Not when his lips curled up in a smug smirk.

My eyes narrowed on him.

‘Hey!’ Avery patted the empty seat to her left. Her face split into a wide, welcoming smile. The girl was gorgeous with her fiery hair and big eyes. ‘We were wondering where you guys were.’

I ignored the heady rush hearing ‘you guys’ brought forth, like we came in a pair, as couples did. ‘Hey.’

Cam made a face at me as he leaned back, tangling his fingers in Avery’s hair. I was beginning to believe it was impossible for him to not be touching some part of her at any given time. ‘What up?’

‘Most likely not your IQ.’ Jase sat across from the seat I was heading to, flashing my brother a quick grin.

He rolled his eyes. ‘That was clever.’

‘I like to think it was,’ Jase replied.

Grinning, I sat beside Avery and gave a little wave at Brit and Jacob. I didn’t know those two well. They were usually at the table when I was here, and Brit’s penchant for mayo and fries turned my stomach. Today, thank God, the blonde was eating pizza. Beside her, Jacob was pouring over a thick textbook, his face scrunched up in confusion.

‘Has it started raining yet?’ Avery asked.

I shook my head as I unwrapped my plastic fork. ‘Looks like it’s going to happen soon.’

She sighed as she glanced over at Brit. ‘It’s going to pour the moment we have to walk over to west campus.’

‘That’s our luck.’ Brit elbowed Jacob. ‘Are you going to let me borrow your hat if it starts raining?’

He lifted his chin as he touched the top of his bowler hat. To me, he sort of looked like Bruno Mars. ‘Yeah, I cannot let my hair get wet. Sorry for your luck.’

Brit shoved a finger into his narrow side. ‘That is not gentlemanly at all.’

‘Good thing I don’t profess to be one, huh?’ His dark eyes glinted with humor as he turned his attention to me. ‘Honey, I really hope you pick better friends than this one beside me.’

‘Hey!’ Brit’s mouth dropped open. ‘What the hell? I am prime pickings for friendship. Just ask Avery.’

She nodded as her right hand disappeared under the table. ‘It’s true.’

I smiled as I stabbed a crispy slice of chicken. ‘I think Brit is good people.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, smiling quite evilly at Jacob.

As I finished off the chicken in my salad, the conversation floated around the table, changing from Cam’s training for the spring soccer tryouts with United to the upcoming party this weekend.

‘I don’t know if it’s going to be a huge thing.’ Jase had devoured the hamburger and now had moved on to the fries. ‘I know Erik and Brandon are supposed to be running it. You’re going, right?’ he asked Cam.

Cam glanced at Avery first. Too cute. ‘Are we?’

She bit her lip and nodded. ‘I think so.’

I didn’t know a whole ton about Avery, but I knew going to a party was a big deal. She didn’t seem to be into those kinds of things.

Brit and Jacob planned on going, and I turned my attention to the salad, digging out the cucumbers. In high school, I didn’t get to go to a lot of parties because of dance, so I really had no idea what to expect from a college one. Not that it looked like I was going to find out anytime soon.

‘You’re coming, right?’ Jase asked, and I wondered who he was talking to. Then I felt his foot tap mine under the table, and I looked up. His brows rose. ‘Tess, you’re coming?’

I blinked tightly as surprise washed over me. ‘Yeah,’ I croaked, and then cleared my throat. ‘Yes. I can go.’

‘Wait. What?’ Cam dropped his arm from Avery. Holy shit. Hold the presses. He wasn’t touching her. He leaned forward, eyeing me with identical blue eyes. ‘You are eighteen—’

‘I’m almost nineteen,’ I interrupted, deciding that made a big difference. After all, my birthday was November the second, and we were less than a month away.

‘Yeah, still, you’re not legal.’ Cam glanced over at Jase. ‘You seriously just invited her to a frat party?’

Oh my God, I was going to kill my brother.

‘Awkward,’ Jacob murmured, closing his textbook.

Jase popped a fry in his mouth. ‘You’re taking your girlfriend to a frat party.’

‘That’s different,’ he replied.

I sighed. ‘Cam, can you shut—’

‘I don’t like the idea of you hanging out at a frat house. Those guys there—’

‘Like me,’ Jase interrupted, winking at me.

My cheeks heated.

‘Exactly,’ Cam all but growled. ‘Enough said.’

Brit giggled. ‘Cam, when did you start going to frat parties?’

‘And don’t say it’s different,’ I jumped in, stabbing a piece of lettuce. ‘Because you were partying when you were fifteen.’

Cam sat back, and that’s when I saw that Avery’s hand had been on his thigh this whole time. False alarm. They had not stopped touching. ‘It is different,’ he insisted. ‘I’m a guy.’

‘Holy shit, you serious?’ Jase’s eyes widened, and I grinned. ‘Could’ve fooled me.’

‘I’m not the one who needs a haircut.’ Cam picked up his bottle of water. ‘I’m half tempted to start braiding it.’

‘I’d be down for that.’ Jacob piped up, smiling. ‘I’m really good with braiding.’

Jase sucked in his bottom lip. ‘I think I’ll pass on that, but thanks.’

He sighed. ‘Story of my life.’

Avery tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. ‘You should really come and hang out with us. Cam—’ She shot him a look that shut him up in a second. ‘Cam will be okay with it. We’ll actually give you a ride.’

My brother opened his mouth again, but this time it was Jase who swooped in. ‘And if Cam doesn’t want to give you a ride, I will. Either way, you’re going. It’s official.’

‘Or I can,’ Brit offered. ‘Then again, I’m not the best driver, so—’

‘I’ll give her a ride.’ Cam sighed. ‘Whatever.’

My smile spread as Cam was universally defeated. Excitement swelled in me, and I felt sort of lame, but it was my first college party. My gaze drifted across from me. I needed to find something cute to wear. A sexy new shirt would be nice. Maybe I could convince Avery to go shopping with me.

Jacob shook his head as his gaze centered on something behind us. ‘Man, there they go again.’

Cringing, Brit ducked her chin and smacked her hand over her eyes. ‘I can’t even watch. I’m serious. I get secondhand embarrassment.’

Twisting halfway in my seat, I immediately saw what they were talking about. My stomach sunk as I watched Debbie and Erik standing at the end of the tables, in front of the ram painted on the wall. Erik’s mouth was running a mile a minute and her cheeks were pale.

‘Isn’t that your roommate?’ Jase asked quietly.

I nodded, watching them over my shoulder. ‘Yeah. Her boyfriend … he’s …’

‘He’s a dick,’ Jase replied, and I twisted back around in surprise. He picked up a fry. ‘He’s like a grade A fucking dick.’

‘It’s the truth.’ Cam turned toward Avery, wrapping his arms around her waist. He rested his chin on her shoulder, closing his eyes. ‘I mean, he can be cool, but he doesn’t know how to act right.’ Pausing, he kissed the side of her neck. ‘I, on the other hand, do.’

Jase snorted.

‘Don’t hate,’ Cam murmured.

My gaze met Jase’s for a second, and I couldn’t help myself. I glanced over my shoulder again. Erik had ahold of Debbie’s arms, and now her lips were moving fast. Whatever they were saying was gaining the attention of the table in front of them.

I wanted to get up and rip Erik’s hands away. Actually, I wanted to get up and kick him in the balls. As I forced myself to turn back around, words bubbled up in my throat—words that were suspicions.

Jacob shook his head as he raised his arms, stretching. ‘Girls are stupid. No offense or anything.’

Brit made a face. ‘Of course.’

‘Care to explain?’ Avery leaned back into Cam’s embrace, and those two were the picture of what couples in love should look like.

‘Come on, I don’t care what he’s packing in his jeans, how smart he is, or how cool.’ Jacob sat back, eyeing where Debbie and Erik had moved to stand just outside the open doors, still arguing. Debbie looked close to tears. ‘Any girl who puts up with that shit is fucking stupid.’

I stiffened, my fork halfway to my mouth. The piece of lettuce dangled there. Brit, like Jacob, was basically unaffected by the statement. Both of them had no idea that I had been one of those fucking stupid girls. And while I would never actively be that girl again, wouldn’t I always be that girl?

Cold fingers drifted down my spine as I lowered my hand. My appetite was officially slaughtered. Avery had fallen silent; so had Jase and my brother. Of course, they knew. I hadn’t told Avery, but I knew Cam had told her, because I had, in some ways, fucked up his life this many years later.

Because I didn’t have the courage or the common sense or the whatever necessary to tell the truth, or to simply leave Jeremy, my silence had kick-started a chain of events that had almost destroyed my brother.

‘I’m going to go ahead and head to class.’ Picking up my backpack, I slung it over my shoulder as I stood. ‘I don’t want to get caught in the rain.’

‘Teresa,’ Cam said, his voice level. ‘You—’

‘I’ll see you guys later.’ I kept my gaze on my salad as I picked it up, not daring to look at anyone.

Dumping my food, I headed out the entrance we came in, purposefully avoiding the side where I’d seen Erik and Debbie. Thick, ominous clouds had rolled in and the scent of rain was strong, but it hadn’t started yet.

A knot had crawled into my throat as I stepped onto the sidewalk. Jacob hadn’t meant anything by what he said. I got that, but the truth in his words still stung. It was more than just the embarrassment. I didn’t want to think about Jeremy—ever again. Except he kept popping up like a damn cold sore. If I could have my time with him scrubbed from my memory, I would.

Maybe you’re not quite over what he did, whispered a snotty, annoying inner voice that I immediately told to shut up.

‘Tess.’

Halfway up the hill, I stopped and turned as my heart did the same thing it did every time I heard his voice. It didn’t matter that I’d just spent a good two hours with him, or the fact that my less than perfect past had just exploded all over our lunch table. I was hopeless.

There was a slight smile on his face as he came to me. Gently taking my arm, he steered me off the sidewalk, out of the path of the moving crowd. Coming to stand under a tree, I tightened my grip on my bag.

‘You ran off quickly,’ he said. ‘I didn’t get a chance to ask you something.’

He was still holding my arm, his hand warm and strong against my skin. ‘What?’

Jase looked at me as if Jacob had never said anything, and like I hadn’t just run off with my tail between my legs. Instead, he smiled as he slid his hand down my arm, circling his long fingers around my wrist.

Dear God in heaven, if Cam stepped outside right now and saw this …

‘What are you doing after class tomorrow?’ he asked.

My eyes widened and holy moly, it was like a million run-on sentences invaded my brain all at once. Was he? Did he? Is he? I had to literally stop and force my head to work right. ‘Um … I get out of class at one, but I don’t have anything planned.’

‘Good.’

I waited for more of an explanation, but there wasn’t one. ‘Good?’

‘Yep.’ He stepped in, so close his shoes brushed my toes. ‘Because you have plans now.’

Chapter 6

Calla stood in the doorway, holding a Twizzler. ‘So you have no idea what you’re doing today?’

‘No.’ I tugged on the hem of my tank top. ‘All Jase said was to dress to be outside. This is good enough, right?’

Her gaze swept over my jeans and sneakers. ‘It’s still a little warm outside, buddy. Might want to rethink the jeans.’

I gazed longingly at the tiny closet and the pair of lonely shorts that resided in there, but I really didn’t want to spend whatever we were doing worrying about him staring at my scar. Not that I should care about that, but I obviously did. And it wasn’t that warm, not like it had been a month ago. ‘I’ll keep the jeans.’