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“She was conscious when NYFD got to her, but went out just before they got her out of the building,” the paramedic, Paul, informed while they rolled the girl into a bay. “She got a twenty-cc bolus of normal saline via her intraosseous line, and then at one hundred and fifty cc per hour.”
He’d given the precise amount infused thus far, as knowing exact fluid replacement was crucial in a burn victim—especially a pediatric one.
“Also, morphine for pain at point four cc per kilogram.” Paul grimaced. “Although lower than normal, her oxygen saturation has remained steady, going at one hundred percent, and there aren’t any face burns, so maybe she won’t need intubation, but we both know how quickly that can change.”
Intubating a child if she didn’t really need to was never something Sarah wanted to do. However, waiting until an urgent need arose wasn’t either. Edema from the smoke and toxins inhaled could make getting the tube into the airway almost impossible. If the girl’s lungs were swelling, the quicker she got intubated, the easier the feat would be accomplished.
Looking at the child, Sarah knew she’d be intubating.
“Gag reflex still present?”
“As of two minutes ago, yes,” Paul answered.
“Get a warming blanket on her stat,” Sarah told a nurse, disinfecting her hands and gloving up as she did so. “Were you able to get all her clothing removed?”
“Had to wet down the area on her right side, but otherwise her clothes came off fairly easily. Most of the burns are superficial, except that one and her hands.”
Sarah nodded, and lifted the thin sheet to run her gaze over the girl’s body. First-and second-degree burns on her arms and neck. A third-degree on her right torso and hands.
Sarah’s heart squeezed.
Injured children were her least favorite aspect of her job. Every protective instinct inside her cried out at the injustice of a hurt child.
“Sorry, man, but you’re going to have to step back,” Paul told her neighbor as the paramedic bumped into him on the opposite side of the stretcher from Sarah.
Her neighbor didn’t budge. “I told you, I promised Keeley I wouldn’t leave her and I’m not going to.”
His tone said they’d have to call Security to have him forcibly removed. He’d let go of the girl’s arm when Sarah had inspected her burns, had been holding onto one of the few areas on the girl’s arms that hadn’t had burns, but he’d quickly taken hold again, as if he needed to be touching the child to let her know he was still there. Was the child someone he knew?
Sarah didn’t want to deal with a commotion that might slow down Keeley’s care. Plus, the thought of her neighbor being dragged out of her emergency department didn’t sit well.
“I may need to ask him something about her injuries.” Doubtful, but it sounded better than admitting she didn’t want him forced to leave. “Let him stay.”
Which was when Jude turned that blue gaze to her, really noticing her for the first time since entering the emergency room. Recognition immediately shone in his red-rimmed eyes.
Sarah’s heart slammed against her ribcage like a ball bouncing around in a pinball machine, lights and bells going off all through her insides.
The absolute difference in Jude’s appearance from the carefree, towel-wrapped sex god standing in his apartment doorway early that morning to this concerned, dirty, smelly firefighter determined to stay by a child’s side messed with her mind. Could she have been so wrong? Was it even possible there was more to her sexy neighbor than met the eye?
Had recognition not lit in those amazing blue eyes of his she’d have sworn he must be a twin.
Part of her felt she should say something, to acknowledge him in some way during that millisecond moment of recognition. Instead, she returned her attention to where it belonged, on the unconscious girl.
The weird flutter in her stomach was back and on high speed.
Indigestion, she told herself. It’s just indigestion.
* * *
Although she’d lived next to his apartment for several months, Jude hadn’t paid a lot of attention to his next-door neighbor.
She kept to herself and barely acknowledged him, even when he’d tried talking to her a couple of times when she’d first moved in.
Honestly, until that morning, when he’d really looked at her for the first time, he’d have guessed her to be a lot older than the thirty or so she was.
She dressed much older, acted much older, and had never even glanced his way, much less made eye contact before today.
Not that she necessarily was dressed older now, more just dressed to hide whatever was beneath.
She wore hospital-issue scrubs in a faded gray color that hung on her body much as sackcloth would, leaving her shapeless, plain, and, at first look, a bit drab.
Interesting, because, as he’d noticed that morning, she had really great eyes behind those hideous monstrosities posing as glasses. She should seriously consider investing in contact lenses.
She had good skin and amazing cheekbones, too. He’d dated models who’d gone under the knife for cheekbones that weren’t nearly as impressive.
Not that his neighbor did a thing to accent them. Mainly, it seemed her goal was to hide every God-given physical attribute she’d been blessed with. Why? Why would a young, healthy woman underplay herself?
Because she was a doctor and wanted to be taken seriously? Or had something happened in her past that had made her not want men to notice her physically?
Why did it even matter how she dressed and what had made her choose to do so?
All that flashed through his mind in the half-second his gaze connected with hers and recognition hit.
Some other emotion punched him in the gut, too, but he figured that was exhaustion, worry, and adrenaline battling around for dominance.
“Thank you,” he told her for giving him the okay to stay, not that he’d been going to leave.
Short of interfering with Keeley’s care, he’d have stuck by her side.
Just as he had after he’d made it out of the building and back to the ground, Jude had ignored the exhaustion in his own body, ignored his boss’s insistence that he get himself checked out and tended to, and had stayed with the child.
Just as he’d stayed with her in the ambulance.
Had Paul not been the paramedic in charge that might not have flown, but fortunately his friend had been.
If only he could have found Keeley a few minutes quicker.
Thank God they’d gotten out when they had because his instincts hadn’t been wrong.
Within seconds of their clearing the building, one of the outer walls and the remainder of the roof had caved in.
Had they not already been outside the inferno, they wouldn’t ever have been.
A sobering thought.
“Jude, man, step back,” Paul said, grabbing Jude’s arm. “Let the doctor check her patient.”
“Seriously, he can stay,” his neighbor repeated, then began examining Keeley while the paramedic gave her further run-down on what had happened and the girl’s objective findings and care while in the ambulance.
Without pausing in her examination, his neighbor gave the nurse more orders. Then, without turning to Jude, she asked him, “You are who saved her from a burning building?”
He tried not to let her incredulousness as she’d said “you”, as if she didn’t believe him capable of anything of the sort, get to him.
Watching as she parted Keeley’s eyelids and shone a light into her eyes, checking her pupil reflexes, he shrugged. “Just did my job.”
Although not as well as he should have because he should have found her sooner. If he had, her little body might not be marred from burns from who knew what she’d done prior to hiding underneath her mother’s bed. She wouldn’t be unconscious, wouldn’t have needed the trip to the emergency room by ambulance. If only they could have gotten her out when they’d gotten the other tenants of the building, when they’d gotten her mother and sister out.
“Ha, don’t let him fool you.” Paul spoke up, gesturing to Jude and not stopping, despite Jude’s shake of his head in hopes of silencing his friend.
“He should have been wearing a cape today, because everyone had already been ordered out of the building. He just didn’t listen. Never does.” Paul shook his head. “First one in, last one out.”
“An adrenaline junkie, eh?” his neighbor asked, still not looking his way. She checked Keeley’s gag reflex and continued with her assessment.
The weight of his uniform suddenly pulled at his shoulders as he went to shrug again, making the movement require a lot more effort than it should have. He was tired. So tired.
“Or someone who couldn’t live with himself if he left a kid in a burning building,” he heard himself admit.
Besides, there was no one waiting on him to come home to prevent him from taking risks. He purposely kept his relationships simple. Had never been tempted to do otherwise.
Not since Nina.
His neighbor’s gaze lifted to his and something shifted in her blue-green eyes, giving them the effect of shimmering sea water behind her glasses.
Oh, hell.
Maybe he’d inhaled too many fumes, too.
Or maybe it was because he’d just thought of Nina.
Whatever the cause, his head spun and he felt off kilter.
Way off kilter.
Like he might have to sit down.
He probably did need to rehydrate and replenish electrolytes. He’d sweated a bucket in that inferno and his uniform clung to him like a second skin, as did his sweat-smashed helmet hair.
That’s why he felt dizzy.
Not because of whatever the odd emotion in—he glanced at her name badge—Dr. Sarah Grayson’s eyes had been.
Rather than say anything further to him, she gave more orders to the nurse, ordering tests and treatments and things that were vaguely familiar but went far beyond Jude’s basic first-aid skills.
“I need to intubate stat,” she told the nurse. “She has internal swelling that’s going to get worse. We need to act now before her airway becomes too swollen to get the tube down.”
She said what size intubation tube she wanted and what anesthetic she’d like Keeley to be given to ease the discomfort of having the line introduced down her throat and into her lungs. If the girl regained consciousness, she wouldn’t want it to be due to discomfort while being intubated.
As if she’d predicted what was about to happen, Keeley’s oxygen saturation dropped several points and the monitor alarm sounded.
Everyone hurried, setting up trays, responding to whatever Sarah told them to do. A nurse asked Jude to step back and he did so, knowing he was in the way while holding Keeley’s arm.
Letting the girl’s wrist go left him feeling bereft. As long as he’d been feeling the warmth of her skin, he could tell himself she was going to be okay, that he hadn’t been too late.
* * *
Exhausted, but running on adrenaline, Sarah went to the private waiting area where she’d had a nurse bring Jude hours ago.
The emergency room had calmed down just enough for Sarah to take a much-needed break. She’d suspected her neighbor would still be in the small private lounge, waiting until he was allowed to see the girl in the pediatric intensive care unit where Sarah had transferred her to once she’d established an airway and stabilized the girl.
Thank God she’d gotten the line in on the first try. Keeley’s lung tissue had already swollen and Sarah had felt the extra resistance.
She’d checked on the girl’s mother and younger sister, who’d also been checked into the emergency department. Apparently, they’d gotten out of the fire much earlier than Keeley as their injuries had been minor and they’d arrived by private car.
The young mother had been allowed to see Keeley for a few minutes, then the worn-out woman and her toddler daughter had left the hospital with a friend as her businessman husband spent a lot of time working overseas.
Sarah couldn’t imagine what the mother was going through, to have lost her home, her things, and to have almost lost one of her daughters.
The woman had just left and, although Keeley wasn’t allowed visitors, Sarah planned to let Jude see the girl if he was still there.
A firefighter? Who would have believed the sexy man she lived next door to was an everyday hero who risked his life to save others?
Not her that morning, for sure.
Good grief, he could have been killed.
Paul, one of her favorite paramedics, had later brought in a pedestrian who’d been hit by a taxi. He’d gone on and on about his buddy Jude and what a real-life hero he was.
A real-life hero who was apparently as dog-tired as she was.
Stretched out in a chair, his eyes closed, Sarah took advantage of the opportunity to freely look at him.
As much as was possible for someone as unbelievably handsome as he was, he looked awful. His hair was matted to his head. He reeked of smoke and sweat and dirty man. His heavy overcoat was in the chair next to the one he slept in.
He needed a shower.
Which, of course, brought her brain back to that morning when he’d been squeaky clean and wrapped in a towel.
She closed her eyes.
No. No. No.
She did not want that image in her mind. Not now. Not when she looked at him and saw a man who’d risked his life to save a little girl.
Not when she saw someone who might have substance beneath those chiseled abs.
She didn’t want to like him.
He was a playboy.
Then again, maybe he went through so many women because of not wanting to get into a serious relationship due to his high-risk job.
No, she corrected herself again. No. No. No. She was not going to make excuses for his womanizing ways.
Wasn’t going to happen.
Only then he opened his eyes and caught her staring.
The intensity in his baby blues warned she might make lots of excuses for this man.
CHAPTER THREE
“KEELEY,” JUDE SAID, fighting a yawn as he sat up in the waiting-room chair.
Even as hyped up as he’d been from the fire search and rescue, he couldn’t believe he’d fallen asleep. Then again, searching a burning building drained a man from the anxiety, the adrenaline, the extreme heat, the sweat. Sometimes after a rescue he’d feel so tired he thought he might sleep a week.
“Is she still alive?” He prayed so. He’d gotten to her as quickly as he could. He knew that. But sometimes as quick as a person could just wasn’t enough.
“Yes, she’s stable,” his neighbor told him from where she stood a few feet away. “It was touch and go for a short bit due to her pulmonary edema, but she responded to the medications and is holding her own.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
Looking more than a little tired herself, Sarah sank into the chair opposite him and stared across the few feet separating them.
Which gave him the opportunity to study her face full on.
She really did have amazing eyes. And great cheekbones.
Her lips were full and perfectly bowed. Kissable.
Where had that thought come from?
“Actually, all the thanks go to you. I shudder to think what would have happened if you hadn’t found her.”
He knew what would have happened and that was why he did his job. He loved being a firefighter. Not that he could save every person, but he gave it his best. Always.
“Every firefighter’s nightmare. Not finding someone,” he admitted, raking his fingers through his matted hair. “The kind of stuff that messes with your head.”
Maybe he should have gone home, showered, then come back. He supposed that would have been better than passing out in a private waiting area. Yet he’d not been able to leave. Not until he’d known Keeley was okay.
Sarah’s plump lower lip disappeared between her teeth for a brief second, and then she asked, “Does it mess with your head, Jude?”
Her saying his name for the first time messed with his head.
Big time.
Which made no sense.
As hadn’t the fact he found her lips kissable.
She wasn’t the type of woman he messed around with. He preferred women who knew the score and were okay with that. Dr. Sarah Grayson didn’t seem the one-night-stand kind.
Yet he’d be lying if he didn’t admit there was something about her that appealed to him in a major way.
Must be the day he’d had and that despite the fact he’d chugged a couple of sports drinks, he still felt dry to the bone.
“Some days more than others,” he answered.
Today, for instance, everything was getting to him. The woman sitting across from him had intrigued him that morning.
She intrigued him now.
The in between had been a living hell and maybe she was an angel sent to redeem him.
Lord knew, he needed redeeming.
“Like today?” She read his mind.
He shrugged. “You trying to map out my psyche on the DSM-V, Doc?”
At his question, her brow arched. Then she offered up a small smile and it was as if the sun had come out on a cloudy day.
“I’m not that type of specialist,” she pointed out, the light shining in her eyes saying he wasn’t going to get a further answer to his question. “Do you want to see Keeley?”
“Can I?” He hadn’t expected to get to see the child. Not tonight when she was still so critical. He’d stayed to find out how she was and had then dozed off in exhaustion.
Odd, at the moment he felt oddly refreshed. Which was absolutely crazy because he was starved, dehydrated, and grimy as hell. He probably smelled like he’d been there, too.
Most of the women he knew would have been pinching their noses and ordering him to shower. Then again, most of the women he knew liked the wealthy Davenport side of him more than the real him firefighter side.
His neighbor didn’t currently look bothered by his physical state one way or the other. But that morning, when she’d raked those sea-green eyes over him, she’d been bothered. He’d seen it in the way she’d swallowed hard, in the way her pulse had throbbed at her throat just above her loose scarf, in the way she’d nervously wet her lips.
Sweet heavens, she’d just gulped and licked her lips again.
Which meant what exactly? He wasn’t sure. That she found him physically distracting even when he was a mess?
Why did that possibility make him feel all he-man?
“Isn’t seeing Keeley what you’ve waited for?” She answered his question with one of her own.
“Either that or I just needed a quick nap to regain my strength.”
“Busy night ahead?” Her sarcasm couldn’t have been more obvious if she’d taken out a billboard.
“Aren’t they all?” he answered, gauging her response. That he’d confused her was apparent on her lovely face.
She watched him from narrowed eyes. “If I didn’t already know the answer, I’d ask if you ever take anything seriously. Thanks to this evening, I know you do.”
“I should set the record straight, then. I only joined the fire department to get women.”
Her cheeks turned a bright pink, then she gave him a disgusted, I knew it look. “I figured as much.”
Jude stifled a chuckle at her defensive arm-crossing and chin-lifting. “Are you saying you think I’m shallow, Sarah?”
Cheeks still glowing, she rolled her eyes. “You like to tease, don’t you?”
Not since Nina.
The thought blindsided him and he almost grimaced, but kept from doing so at the last second. No way was he letting thoughts of Nina into his head again today. Not now. Not at the hospital.
Not when his doctor cousin, Charles, could be around.
So, instead of letting his mind go to the past, he focused on the woman sitting across from him, grateful for the fire in her eyes.
“I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to liking how you respond.” He did like her intelligence, her quick wit, that spark in her eyes. He was used to being physically attracted to women. Women were beautiful creatures. But with Sarah the attraction was something more than her gorgeous eyes and amazing cheekbones. The flash in those eyes was what drew him in, made him want to know more about the woman beneath the deceptive outer layer.
A want he hadn’t felt since...nope, he wasn’t going to think of her.
“Why?” Sarah asked, studying him as if he were some gross bug under a magnifying glass.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not one of your women.”
He wouldn’t pretend he didn’t know what she meant. Hadn’t he just been thinking the same thing a few moments before?
His women lived in the moment, were experienced in the ways of the world, and were no more interested in anything beyond immediate pleasure than he was.
Unlike the scowling woman sitting across from him.
The scowling woman whose smile had lit up dark corners of his very being, an addictive feeling he’d like to sample again.
Although some dark corners might be best left in the shadows.
Unable to resist teasing her further, he waggled his brows. “Would you like to be?”
Her jaw dropped. “No!”
He gave a low laugh at her outrage. “That was quick. I think I’m offended. Is it my cologne?”
“Right.” She glared. “Because you’re so easily offended that a woman saying no just breaks your heart.”
She might be saying no, but her eyes were singing an entirely different tune. They were shooting fire of feminine awareness. Interesting.
“Sure you don’t want to think about it?” he teased, enjoying the blush in her cheeks.
“Positive. Some things a girl just knows.”
“Yeah?” He arched his brow. “There’s some things a woman just knows, too.”
Her gaze searched his and her voice cracked a little when she asked, “Such as?”
“How she responds to a man.” There were definitely sparks flying back and forth. He might have had a rough day but he wasn’t hallucinating the energy between them.
Not that he understood the chemistry, but he’d have to be brain dead not to recognize the man-woman pull.
“Don’t go confusing me with one of your bimbos,” she warned, chin notching upward. “I’m not interested in a guy like you.”
“A guy like me? Oh, yeah.” He grinned, refusing to be insulted. “We established that I’m shallow.”
Her gaze narrowed further, but the outraged look wasn’t working. Not when her lips twitched.
“I didn’t call you shallow,” she pointed out.
“You didn’t correct me.”
“Because you weren’t wrong,” she countered.
He arched his brow.
Rather than answer, she jumped up from the chair and gave him an expectant look. “Do you or do you not want to see Keeley with me?”
Standing, he grinned. “I most definitely want to see Keeley with you, Doc.”
Her hands went to her hips. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why not?” He kind of liked the nickname. It fit. Plus, she needed a nickname to lighten her up a bit. “It’s as good a nickname as any.”
“You don’t need a nickname for me.”
“Sure I do, so I can call it out when you’re ninja-ing in and out of your apartment.”
“Ninja-ing?”
“That thing you do where you come and go and hope no one sees.”
“Whereas you hang around in the hallway long enough to make sure everyone sees you in your God-given glory?”
Lord, he loved her sharp wit, that whatever he threw out, she had a quick response. “Does that bother you?”
“Of course not. You can do whatever you want. In your apartment. With your bimbos.”
“They aren’t bimbos.”
“They’re not bright and upstanding citizens.”
“For all you know about them, they could be.”
“I know they spent the night with a man who used them so that checks bright right off their list of attributes.”
“Sex for mutual pleasure isn’t my using them any more than it is their using me.”
“So it’s a case of mutual using and that somehow makes it okay? Keep fooling yourself if you want, but there are some of us smart enough to know better.”