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No, that wasn’t the whole truth. It wasn’t just that she didn’t want to feel out of place at a fancy party. She didn’t want to feel out of place when Eric looked at her.
She knew she didn’t belong in his world. He was so far above her in terms of looks and money and power… That she was even considering this was a clear indication of how nuts she was. But was it wrong if, at least for a weekend, she wanted to pretend that she fit into his glamorous life? That they were equals?
That she was good enough for him?
It’d been so long since she’d felt attractive. Pregnancy had done a number on her self-esteem and then, after David’s death, she hadn’t exactly kept up her appearance. Who cared about under-eye concealer when she could barely force herself out of bed every morning? It’d only been in the last six months—coincidentally, about the same time the twins started sleeping through the night—that she’d been able to get past the fog and start putting herself on the list of people to take care of.
How was she supposed to do this with Eric? When he looked at her with his intense eyes, it made her want to do stupid, stupid things—like let him lavish her with the finest dresses money could buy. Like hope that he’d remove those fine dresses from her body and pull her into his arms and…
She cleared her throat, trying to get her pulse to stay at a steady rhythm. What was she going to do?
Apparently, she was going to let Eric buy her clothes. It was wildly inappropriate and completely beyond the normal boundaries of common sense. God only knew what the gossip at the office would be tomorrow or—worse—after the St. Louis trip.
But did she have a choice? She didn’t even have a proper suit that fit anymore. She’d been making do with the cutest separates she could find. She’d gotten her first paycheck—with a number that was still stunning to her—but she hadn’t had time to go buy some work clothes. She couldn’t sacrifice any more time away from her babies for something as superficial as trousers.
Except for this damned cocktail party, that was. And heavens help her, she wanted to look good for him.
Her chest began to tighten in panic but she pushed back and made sure to count to four as she breathed in and then out.
“Mr. Jenner,” a polished woman who might have been in her forties or her sixties said, coming forward to meet them. “How lovely to see you back at Barneys again.”
“Clarice,” Eric said, and Sofia heard a particular tone to his voice that he didn’t use with her. Imperious, she might have called it. “This is Ms. Bingham.”
Clarice turned her sharp gaze to Sofia. “Yes,” she said, as if she’d just figured out that Sofia didn’t belong here. “Ms. Bingham, if you’d come this way? I have some options already pulled, but of course I want to take your opinions under consideration.”
“Wait—I thought…” Sofia looked dumbly at Eric. She’d assumed he’d be an active part of this. Was she wrong? She’d been nervous about him offering his opinion on each outfit. So how was the realization that he wouldn’t somehow even worse?
His face softened with a smile and she almost sighed in relief. She didn’t like him all imperious. Then he took her by the arm and led her a little away from Clarice, who immediately made it her business to focus anywhere but on them. “Surprise me,” he said as he slid his hand down and pressed her palm against his. A silky warmth flowed between them.
Her body tightened with want because oh, how she wanted to surprise him. But want had nothing to do with this. It couldn’t. “Eric, we can’t do this,” she murmured—which was true and also did nothing to explain why she couldn’t seem to pull her hand away from his.
“Don’t you dare accuse me of turning into my mother again,” he said as his thumb charted a steady course along the base of hers.
“Your mother would never—” She barely managed to get her mouth shut before something really inappropriate, like “look at me like she wants to undress me,” came tumbling out. “Bring me here,” she finished weakly.
“Shows what you know.” His grin faded and somehow, he got even closer to her. “I want to do this for you, Sofia. I want you to walk into that cocktail party looking beautiful and feeling like you’ve got the world at your feet because you are and you do. I can see it. I want everyone else—including you—to see it, too.” His fingers laced with hers, pulling her in. She was powerless to let go of him. “What I don’t want is for you to feel like you’ve lost control. If you start to panic, call me immediately, okay?” When she didn’t answer right away, he said, “Let me take care of you,” in an even softer voice.
It simply wasn’t fair of him to make her fall a little in love with him in the middle of a damned upscale department store. But that’s what happened. Eric Jenner was a sinfully rich, sinfully handsome bachelor and for some inexplicable reason, he cared about her. He understood her panic attacks. He gave her a chance. He made her smile. He made things better. How could she not fall for him? “All right.” It came out husky and low and not at all like her normal voice. But then, there wasn’t exactly anything normal about any of this.
His eyes darkened as his gaze dropped to her lips and without conscious choice, she licked them under his watchful eye. He inhaled sharply and then abruptly he stepped away from her, dropping her hand like it was hot. “I’ll…” He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’ll be in the menswear department.”
And with that parting shot, he turned on his heel and strode off. All Sofia could do was watch him go. Her hand was still warm from where they’d been skin to skin and she had to fight the ridiculous urge to run after him.
Clarice appeared at her elbow. “Are you ready?” she asked, her voice crisp.
It took real effort to tear her gaze away from where Eric’s back was disappearing down the stairs. Once again, he was putting a great deal of faith in her.
If he wanted to be surprised, then that’s what she’d give him.
“I think so.”
But when they made it back to a private fitting room, there were more than just a few cocktail dresses waiting. There were racks and racks of clothing, including business suits and shoes and even underwear. “What is all this?” Sofia asked, pressing her hand to her chest in alarm.
“When Mr. Jenner and I spoke on the phone, he made it clear that you would need to be outfitted for a cocktail party, business meetings and travel,” Clarice said, smiling in a way that was probably supposed to be reassuring. “Isn’t that what you two discussed?”
“Um…” He hadn’t said anything about suits or traveling clothes. This was supposed to be a dress. One dress. Not an entire wardrobe. “How many outfits are we talking about here?”
Clarice didn’t hesitate. “Two business suits, two evening outfits and two traveling outfits. Mr. Jenner made it clear that you were to be outfitted and accessorized from head to toe.”
Sofia’s heart began to hammer in her chest. This was too much. What part of six damned outfits that he hadn’t even discussed with her was making sure she didn’t feel like she was losing control?
She opened her mouth to refuse it all—the carte blanche, the outfits, Clarice’s knowledgeable assistance—and then she remembered what Eric had said as he’d held her hand and leaned toward her. He wanted to do this for her because he knew she was beautiful and he wanted her to believe it, too.
She closed her eyes and made sure she was still breathing. Oh, this was dangerous, that she was even considering this. She didn’t just want to surprise him when she walked into that cocktail party and she didn’t just want to look like she fit.
She wanted to feel pretty again.
She wanted to make Eric’s brain stop functioning.
“Can you make me look great? Like, really great?”
Clarice’s eyes lit up. “It would be my pleasure.”
Seven
Sofia was a mess of nerves. She hadn’t been able to eat breakfast and hadn’t slept more than twenty or thirty minutes at a time last night. For once, it had nothing to do with the twins teething.
Her luggage, packed with five different outfits and three pairs of shoes for a three-day trip, stood by the front door, waiting. Eric was going to pick her up sometime in the next fifteen minutes and drive her to the airport. From there, he, Sofia and the Nortons would fly in Eric’s private jet to St. Louis.
She was doing this. She was going away for a weekend with Eric. Business trip be damned. She had sexy lingerie in her bag, far too beautiful to keep hidden underneath clothes.
No, no—she wasn’t nervous about that. Eric wasn’t going to see her panties. She was just…nervous about flying. She’d been on an airplane exactly twice in her life, flying to and from Cancún for her honeymoon with David. She hadn’t liked it then, and that had been a big plane. Eric’s jet wasn’t much more than a puddle jumper.
In fact, the only thing keeping her from a full-on panic attack was the fact that she was being mobbed by adorable babies.
“Are you going to miss me when I’m gone?” she asked, sitting on the floor with both Addy and Eddy on her lap. Eddy’s lip began to tremble. “I’ll come back,” she promised. “I always come back, don’t I? You’ll have a lot of fun with Abuelita and Abuelito. Story time at the library, a trip to the park—”
“Pak!” Eddy yelled, flopping off her lap and toddling over to where his shoes were.
Sofia laughed. The boy would sell his sister for a swing set. “Later,” she said. “When Miss Rita gets here, you can go to the park.” Rita was a new addition to their routine, a young woman who reminded Sofia of what Rosa must’ve been like twenty or thirty years ago. Rita was a first-generation Mexican American, taking night classes, already working one part-time job and now helping out with the twins in the mornings.
Watching Rosa Cortés with Rita was a little like watching Mrs. Jenner buy dresses for Sofia when she had been a girl. Mom went out of her way to make extra food that Rita could take home because she wouldn’t have time to get anything before class. Mom often had a sweater or a dress that she’d bought because she’d thought it would fit, but when she got it home it didn’t—and it just happened to be in Rita’s size.
Sofia was just glad Mom liked Rita and seemed to embrace her help with the twins. Sofia worried less about her parents now that there was backup.
That didn’t make it any easier to leave her babies, though. Addy snuggled into Sofia’s lap, her thumb in her mouth. Sofia stroked her daughter’s hair, savoring this moment of closeness. God, she was going to miss them. But she wasn’t going to cry. She swallowed hard a few times as she breathed in Addy’s sweet baby smell. No crying allowed.
But was it wrong she was excited about this weekend trip? She was going to have a hotel room all to herself at the Chase Park Plaza, with room service and no one to wake her up in the middle of the night. She wouldn’t have to cook or clean. She had two new dresses that made her feel beautiful and the company of a man who made her want more than she could even dream about.
She had no right to dream of him, but that hadn’t stopped her from wondering if he’d wear a tux to this party. Or how he’d look if she reached up and tugged on that bow tie, unraveling the ends and pulling him toward her and—
The doorbell rang and Addy launched herself off Sofia’s lap. She and Eddy ran to the door.
“That’s the driver, Mom,” Sofia called to her mother in the kitchen, her stomach doing a little flutter. She gathered the black pashmina wrap Clarice had insisted pulled the whole look together and her purse. That, at least, was still hers. She couldn’t bring herself to let the accessorizing go so far as to include handbags. She knew exactly how expensive those things could be.
It was ridiculous that he was coming for her. He could’ve saved himself a lot of time if they’d met at the office.
But no. And he didn’t even send a separate car. Instead, his driver was picking her up, even though it was way out of the way to drive from the Gold Coast where Eric lived down to the Pilsen neighborhood where she lived with her parents.
The Nortons lived close to the Chicago Executive Airport, where Eric kept his plane—which was on the far northern side of the city. So they’d meet them there. Which meant it would just be Eric and Sofia in the car. In the back seat. Hidden from the rest of the world.
Not that it mattered, because it didn’t. This was a work-related trip. The brand-new clothes she was wearing were work clothes—although Sofia had not yet figured out in what alternative universe a silk georgette blouse and cropped white trousers constituted a “traveling outfit.” In her world, white pants were a disaster waiting to happen. But she was wearing them anyway. The same went for the cocktail dresses. The outfits had nothing to do with the way Eric had held her hand in the store or told her to let him take care of her. Not a damned thing.
She might engage in some gentle flirting because that seemed unavoidable. But Eric flirted with everyone, so that was fine. Safe, even. As long as they kept it at flirting. No undressing, no lingerie.
The doorbell rang again. Sofia took hold of Addy as Mom hurried out of the kitchen to scoop up Eddy.
Sofia opened the door, saying, “My bag is—”
The man standing in the doorway was not the driver. Eric Jenner himself stood there, looking sinfully handsome in a brightly colored button-up shirt with a linen blazer over it. Her mouth fell open and all she could do was stare at him. His hair had more of a wave than normal and he looked so damn good she could feel her resolve crumbling like a cookie in a toddler’s hands—and they hadn’t even made it to the car yet.
She was going away with him for the weekend. And he wanted to take care of her.
Oh, God.
“Sofia,” Eric began, but then his gaze was drawn to Addy, who’d curled against Sofia’s shoulder. “Good heavens,” he went on, sounding almost severe about it. “These children are even cuter in person than they are in pictures. I didn’t think that was physically possible.”
“Mr. Eric!” Mom said, struggling to hold on to Eddy. “Oh—we weren’t expecting you! Oh!” she said again, her hand flying to her chest as she looked him over. “My, you’ve grown up so much!”
Eric took that as an invitation. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Then, before Sofia’s eyes, he bowed. Bowed! “Mrs. Cortés, you haven’t changed a bit. You are as lovely as I remember.”
Mom blushed—which only made Sofia stare even more. When was the last time her mother had blushed? “Mr. Eric, we can’t thank you enough for everything—”
Eric waved her off. “Sofia’s doing a great job, just like I knew she would.” Then he leaned forward and said, “May I?” Without waiting for an answer, he plucked Eddy from her mother’s arms. “You must be Eduardo. I can tell—you’re a very serious young man.” As he said it, he tickled Eddy’s tummy.
Eddy squealed with delight and kept right on squealing as Eric lifted the boy over his head a few times, saying, “Oh, yes—very serious indeed.”
That got Addy’s attention. Although she didn’t fling herself at Eric, she sat up. She didn’t have to wait long. Eric tucked Eddy into the crook of one arm and reached out for Addy. “Hello, Miss Adelina. Aren’t you a good girl?”
“It’s all right,” Sofia reassured her and then Addy was lifted from her arms and cradled against Eric’s chest.
“There we are,” Eric said reassuringly, bouncing both children a little bit. Eddy seemed thrilled beyond words, but Addy was holding herself a little apart from him, still unsure about this strange man who’d just walked into their lives.
Next to her, Mom sighed—a noise that was part happiness, part relief and part…longing, maybe? Sofia could sympathize. The sight of her children in Eric’s arms—if possible, this was even less fair than him tenderly telling her that he wanted her to feel as beautiful as she was.
Because he was holding her children, making silly sounds and getting Addy to smile while Eddy tried to copy his sounds, with varying degrees of success.
Eric was perfect.
“Oh, Mr. Eric—I have something for you,” Mom said, hurrying off to the kitchen.
And leaving them alone. “Hi,” he said over the heads of the twins. His eyes warmed as he looked her over. “It’s good to see you.”
Oh, Lord—the only thing worse than flirting right now was sincere compliments because there was no defense against sincerity. “Hi,” she said back.
What was she supposed to say here? Because it simply wasn’t fair how perfect he was. The least the universe could do would be to make him not like children. If he showed indifference or even open dislike of the twins, it would be so much easier to keep her attraction to him under control.
But no. He had to be perfect in every way. He was going to make her fall in love with him and it was going to break her heart.
“Hey, can you take a picture? I’ll send it to my mom,” he said. “Can we smile, kiddos?”
By the time she got the camera app open, they were all laughing. No, this wasn’t fair at all. “Babies!” she said enthusiastically, which got both twins to focus on her. Eric looked up and grinned and she snapped several shots.
Then Eddy squirmed out of his arms and Sofia had to hide her smile at Eric trying to juggle the twins. But he didn’t drop either toddler, so that counted for something. “What is it, big guy?”
Chattering excitedly, Eddy made his way over to the coloring table. “He wants to show you his drawings. Which means that, in about ten seconds, Addy will want to show you her drawings, too.”
“A little friendly sibling rivalry?”
“You have no idea.”
“Sofia?” Mom poked her head out of the kitchen. “Can you give me a hand before you leave?”
Sofia frowned at her mother. Normally the woman refused any and all offers of help. But Mom gave her the look and Sofia had no choice but to say to Eric, “Will you be all right for a minute?”
“Go on,” he said, shooting her a grin that made her cheeks heat.
Mom had a small pile of food assembled on the counter. “Mom, what are you doing?”
“Mr. Eric—he always loved Jarritos. I think I have another bottle of the fresa somewhere…” she said to herself, digging around one of the cabinets. “Ah, here it is.” She pulled out the bottle of the red drink.
Strawberry had always been Sofia’s favorite, too. “Did you call me in here just to help you find some soda?” Her heart began to pound faster, but it didn’t feel like a panic attack waiting to happen.
“No, cariño.” Her mom set the soda down by the other snacks—all Mexican brands. Bags of corn chips and pastries. The kind of snacks she’d loved growing up. She remembered how Eric had always treated Takis chips like a rare and special treat.
“I want you to promise me something,” Mom said, her brow knit with worry.
What was this all about? It wasn’t like her mother to be overly dramatic. “Okay, what?”
“I want you to have some fun this weekend.” She said it in such a hushed, serious tone—like she was confessing to a sin.
“Fun?” Sofia shook her head from side to side, wondering when the world stopped making sense. Fun had always been low on her mother’s priority list. “Mom, this is a business trip. We’ll be working.”
Her mother clucked and patted Sofia on the cheek and just like that, Sofia felt like she was seven again. “Ayi, it is—but this is the first time since David died that you’ve…” Her voice trailed off.
Sofia was suddenly terrified of what her mother might say. Because what it sounded like Mom was saying was that it might be a good idea if Sofia considered sleeping with her boss on a weekend getaway and that couldn’t possibly be true. Especially not when Sofia had been daydreaming about doing just that.
“There’s nothing going on here. We’re just old friends who happen to work together now.”
Her mother gave her another look, one that had Sofia’s mouth snapping shut on any other protest. “It’s been almost a year and a half. You need to move on with your life.”
Sofia stared in disbelief, but Rosa Cortés didn’t so much as blink. “I am moving on. I got a new job and some new clothes.” Clothes that Eric had paid for. “There’s nothing else I need from him.” It didn’t matter how much that might be a lie—she was sticking to it.
“Nothing?” Mom clucked again and dug out a bag to put the snacks in. “He grew up. So handsome. And thoughtful, to come get you himself.” She sighed again and Sofia swore she could see stars in her mother’s eyes. “The twins love him. You can just tell.”
She could. Even Addy had warmed up to him in record time. “Mom…”
Because this was not the beginning of a new story. This was not a happily-ever-after in the making. And if Sofia allowed herself to buy into that delusion—that a hot, rich, thoughtful billionaire who cared for her and the children would somehow give her a perfect family and a storybook life—no. He was so far out of her league that she knew she’d fall if she tried to climb to his level. And she couldn’t fall again. She wouldn’t survive the bounce this time.
“It’s just that you’ve been through so much—you deserve a little fun, don’t you?” Mom nodded to herself as she bagged up the snacks. “It’s time for you to smile again.”
“I smile. I smile all the time.” It was hard not to smile and laugh when Addy and Eddy were being adorable—or even when they were getting into trouble.
But even as she thought that, Sofia knew she was being deliberately obtuse because that’s not what Mom was talking about and they both knew it.
Sorrow pulled at the corners of Mom’s mouth. “Ah, you smile for your children. You even smile for me and your father, as if you think we can’t see how you’re hiding behind it. But, cariño, when was the last time you smiled for yourself?” With that parting shot, Mom carried the overflowing bag of snacks and sodas out to Eric.
Sofia stood there, struggling to breathe. Mom was wrong. That’s all there was to it. She smiled. She was moving on and living her life. She…
Sofia dropped her head into her hands. She didn’t get enough sleep and every day was a new battle to be waged against crushing depression and anxiety. Her entire life had become faking it until she made it. Apparently, she wasn’t faking it well enough to fool her own mother.
And what, exactly, was that woman encouraging her to do? Seduce Eric? Have an affair with her boss? It didn’t make any sense. Although she had liked David and approved of the marriage, Rosa Cortés had been horrified when Sofia and David had moved in together before the wedding. Mom was a very traditional woman. She would never do anything as risqué as condone an affair.
But the moment the thoughts of seduction and Eric ran headlong into each other in Sofia’s head, her mind oh-so-helpfully filled in the blanks. A big soft bed in a hotel room, Eric looking at her with desire in his eyes as she slipped the buttons free on his shirt and he slid down the zipper on her dress. Would he pounce on her, all masculine strength and raw lust? Or would it be a slow seduction, one that left her shaking and begging for release?
God, she missed sex.
“Wow—Takis? I haven’t had these in years!” she heard Eric say. Sofia swung around to see him surge to his feet as Mom held out the snacks. “I can’t believe you remembered how much I liked these!” He rummaged through the bag. “And Conchas? Oh, man—these are always such a special treat! Sofia always shared these.”
Sofia watched as her mom ducked her head, another girlish blush on her cheeks. “We always brought extra for you. But not too much—we didn’t want to make your mother mad.”
“As long as we didn’t get orange fingerprints on her office furniture…” They laughed, as if the passage of years had never happened.
Have fun. Maybe Sofia was reading too much into this.
It wasn’t like she could just decide not to be anxious. It didn’t work that way. But she could make a conscious choice to enjoy herself this weekend. She could continue to fake it until she made it because even if she’d still be forcing herself to smile, she might eventually make it to having a good time. To enjoying her time with Eric. Even if that just meant sharing a bag of fried corn chips.