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HarperCollinsPublishers,
1 London Bridge Street,
London, SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk
First published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2017
Copyright © Stuart MacBride 2017
Prelims show map of Oldcastle © Stuart MacBride 2017
Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers 2018
Cover design © Blacksheep-uk.com
Cover image © PlainPicture/Thomas Günther (foreground); Shutterstock.com (sky and inside cover photograph)
The quotation from the public information film Stay at Home appears courtesy of the British Film Institute © Crown Copyright (1975). The quotation from William Blake’s Songs of Innocence – The Chimney Sweeper (1789) is taken from the British Library’s first edition copy.
Stuart MacBride asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
This is a work of fiction. Any references to real people, living or dead, real events, businesses, organisations and localities are intended only to give the fiction a sense of reality and authenticity. All names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and their resemblance, if any, to real-life counterparts is entirely coincidental. The only exception to this are the characters Cecelia Lynch and Robert Shannon who have given their express permission to be fictionalised in this volume. All behaviour, history, and character traits assigned to their fictional representations have been designed to serve the needs of the narrative and do not necessarily bear any resemblance to the real person.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books
Source ISBN: 9780007494712
Ebook Edition © 2018 ISBN: 9780007494705
Version: 2020-10-27
Dedication
For Sue.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Without Whom
Maps
— Exhibit A —
Chapter 1
— Bodies of the Lesser God —
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
— Every Day We Live — Is a Day Closer to the Day We Die
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
— Callum —
Chapter 16
— Imhotep —
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
— The Four-Minute Warning —
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
— Protect and Survive —
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
— These Bones Beneath the Earth —
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
— Father —
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
— Open the Coffins —
Chapter 58
– Detective Constable John Watt –
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
— The Bonemonger’s Waltz —
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
— Dearly Departed, — We are Gathered Here Today
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Keep Reading
About the Author
By Stuart MacBride
About the Publisher
Without Whom
As always I’ve received a lot of help from a lot of people while I was writing this book, so I’d like to take this opportunity to thank: Prof. Sue Black, Dr Roos Eisma, Vivienne McGuire, and Dr Lucina Hackman, all of whom do excellent work at the University of Dundee’s Centre for Anatomy and Human Identification; Sergeant Bruce Crawford who answers far more daft questions than anyone should ever have to, as does Professor Dave Barclay; Sarah Hodgson, Jane Johnson, Julia Wisdom, Jaime Frost, Anna Derkacz, Sarah Collett, Isabel Coburn, Charlie Redmayne, Roger Cazalet, Kate Elton, Hannah Gamon, Cait Davies, Sarah Shea, Damon Greeney, Finn Cotton, the eagle-eyed Anne O’Brien, Marie Goldie, the DC Bishopbriggs Super Squad, and everyone at HarperCollins, for doing such a stonking job; Phil Patterson and the team at Marjacq Scripts, for keeping my cat in shoes all these years; Catherine Pellegrino, and Sandra Sawicka for translational help; and let’s not forget Cecelia Lynch, or James, Duncan, Katy, and Liz Shannon who helped raise money for two very worthy causes, and Matt Patterson whose wallet makes several guest appearances. And thank you to Tony Dykes of the British Film Institute for permission to quote Stay at Home within these pages.
Of course, there wouldn’t be any books without bookshops, booksellers, and book readers – so thank you all, you’re stars.
And saving the best for last – as always – Fiona and Grendel.
Maps
1
The wall whispers to him with splintered wooden lips. ‘They’ll worship you. They’ll worship you. They’ll worship you …’
Its words fill the gloom, rolling around and around and through him, pulsing and pulling. ‘They’ll worship you.’
Why?
Why can’t he just die?
‘They’ll worship you: you’ll be a god.’
Is this what gods feel like? Thirsty. Aching.
Every muscle in his stomach throbs from the repeated heaving. Every breath tastes of bile.
Bile and dark, gritty wood smoke. Filling the low room with its stained wooden walls.
‘They’ll worship you: you’ll be a god.’
He slumps back, making the rusty links of chain rattle and clank against each other. Heavy around his throat. Heavier where it’s bolted into the wall. The wall that talks.
‘You’ll be a god.’
He can’t even answer it, his mouth is desert dry, tongue like a breezeblock, blood booming in his ears. Boom. Boom. Boom.
So thirsty … But if he drinks the foul brown water in the jug, he’ll be sick again.
‘A god.’
He turns his face to the wall. Finds a silent crack in the wood. And stares through into the other room.
‘They’ll worship you. They’ll worship you.’
Through there, it’s bright: a mix of light and shadow as someone stands on their tiptoes to slot another pole of fish into the rack. Herrings, splayed open, tied in pairs at the tail, their flattened sides like hands. Praying.
Help me …
He opens his mouth, but it’s too dry to make words. Too burned by the bile.
‘They’ll worship you.’
Why can’t he just die?
Up above, high above the poles of praying fish, eight fingertips brush a blade of sunlight. They run their tips along its sharp edge as the body they belong to sways in the darkness. Caught in the breeze from the open door. Head down – like the fish – arms dangling. Skin darkened to an ancient oak brown.
‘You’ll be a god.’
Then the person on the other side disappears. Comes back with a wheelbarrow piled up with sawdust and small chunks of wood. Dumps the lot in the middle of the room. Stoops to light it. Stands back as pale tendrils of smoke coil up into the air. Backs away and closes the door.
Now the only light is the faint orange glow of the smouldering wood.
‘You’ll be a god.’
He slides down against the wall. Too tired and thirsty to cry. Too tired to do anything but wait for the end to come.
‘They’ll worship you …’
Why can’t he just die?
— bodies of the lesser god —
Then the little girl with the lizard’s tail jumped into the air with a whoosh! “I’ve got it!” she shrieked. “We can make an enormous pie out of all the bits of hair and beard!”
Ichabod scowled at her. “That’s a horrid idea,” he said, because it was. “No one wants to eat a cake made of hair.”
“Ah, but the hair of the Gianticus Moleraticus is magical and tastes of everything you like in the whole world! Gumdrops and sausages, baked beans and chocolate biscuits, custard and ham.” She scooped up a big handful of hair and shoved it in Ichabod’s mouth. “See?”
But to Ichabod it just tasted of hair. The little girl was clearly insane …
R.M. Travis
The Amazing Adventures of Ichabod Smith (1985)
And if some motherf*cker gonna call the police?
I’m-a grab my nine-mill and I’m-a make him deceased.
Donny ‘$ick Dawg’ McRoberts
‘Don’t Mess with the $ick Dawg’
© Bob’s Speed Trap Records (2016)
2
‘POLICE! COME BACK HERE, YOU WEE SOD!’
Only that wasn’t really right, was it? Ainsley Dugdale wasn’t a wee sod – he was a dirty great big lumping hulk of a sod, hammering his way along Manson Avenue. Ape-long arms and short legs pumping, scarf flittering out behind him, baldy head glinting in the morning sunshine.
Callum gritted his teeth and hammered after him.
Why did no one ever come back when they were told to? Anyone would think people didn’t want to get arrested.
Squat grey council houses scrolled past on either side of the street, lichen-flecked pantiles and harled walls. Front gardens awash with weeds. More abandoned sofas and washing machines than gnomes and bird tables.
A couple of kids were out on their bikes, making lazy figure eights on the tarmac. The wee boy had sticky-out ears and a flat monkey nose, a roll-up sticking out the corner of his mouth – leaving coiled trails of smoke behind him. The wee girl was all blonde ringlets and pierced ears, swigging from a tin of extra-strong cider as she freewheeled. Both of them dressed in baggy jeans, trainers, and tracksuit tops. Baseball caps on the right way around, for a change.
Rap music blared out of a mobile phone. ‘Cops can’t take me, cos I’m strong like an oak tree, / Fast like the grand prix, / I’m-a still fly free … ’
The wee girl shifted her tinny to the other hand and raised a middle finger in salute as Callum ran past. ‘HOY, PIGGY, I SHAGGED YER MUM, YEAH?’
Her wee friend made baboon hoots. ‘HOOH! HOOH! HOOH! PIGGY, PIGGY, PIGGY!’
Neither of them looked a day over seven years old.
The delights of darkest Kingsmeath.
Dugdale skittered around the corner at the end of the road. Almost didn’t make it – banged against the side of a rusty Renault, righted himself and kept on going, up the hill.
‘RUN, PIGGY, RUN!’ Little Miss Cider appeared, standing on the pedals to keep up, grinning as she flanked him. ‘COME ON, PIGGY, PUT SOME WELLY IN IT!’
Her baboon friend pedalled up on the other side. ‘FAT PIGGY, LAZY PIGGY!’
‘Bugger off, you little sods …’ Callum wheeched through the turn, into another row of grubby houses. Low garden walls guarded small squares of thistle and dandelions, ancient rusty hatchbacks up on bricks, the twisted metal brackets where satellite dishes used to be.
‘COME ON, PIGGY!’
The gap was narrowing. Dugdale might have got off to an impressive sprint start, but his long game wasn’t anywhere near as good – puffing and panting as he lumbered up Munro Place. Getting slower with every step.
‘HOOH! HOOH! HOOH!’
He crested the hill with Callum barely ten feet behind him.
The street fell away towards a grubby line of trees and a grubbier line of houses, but Dugdale didn’t stop to admire the view: he kept his head down, picking up a bit of velocity on the descent.
The wee kids freewheeled alongside him, Little Miss Cider swigging from her can. ‘RUN, BALDY – PIGGY’S GONNA GET YOU!’
One last burst. Callum accelerated. ‘I’M NOT TELLING YOU AGAIN!’
Dugdale snatched a glance over his shoulder – little eyes surrounded by dark circles, a nose that looked as if it’d been broken at least a dozen times, scar bisecting his bottom lip. He swore. Then put on another burst of speed.
‘NO YOU DON’T!’
‘HOOH! HOOH! HOOH!’
Closer. Eight foot. Seven. Six.
Here we go …
Callum leapt. Arms out – rugby-tackle style.
His shoulder caught Dugdale just above the waist, arms wrapping around the top of the big sod’s legs. Holding on tight as they both crashed onto the pavement, rolling over and over. Grunts. More swearing. A tangle of arms and legs. Then something the size of a minibus battered into Callum’s face.
Now the world tasted of hot batteries.
Another punch. ‘GET OFF ME!’
Callum jabbed out an elbow and connected with something solid.
‘HOOH! HOOH! HOOH!’
‘FIGHT, PIGGY, FIGHT!’
Then the pavement battered off the back of his head and a fist slammed into his stomach. Fire roared through his torso, accompanied by the sound of a thousand alarm clocks all ringing at once.
He swung a punch and Dugdale’s nose went from broken to smashed.
‘Gahhhh!’ Dugdale reared back, blood spilling down over his top lip. He lashed out blind, eyes closed, and that massive fist came close enough to ruffle the hair above Callum’s ear.
Distance. Get some distance.
A big black Mercedes slid past, the sweaty-sweet scent of marijuana coiling out from the back windows, a deep BMMTSHHH, BMMTSHHH, BMMTSHHH of hip-hop bass rattling the air. It stopped in the middle of the road, where they could get a good view of the fight. But did anyone get out to help? Of course they sodding didn’t.
‘KILL HIM, PIGGY, FINISH HIM!’
‘HOOH! HOOH! HOOH!’
Callum scrabbled back against a rusty Volkswagen. Yanked out his handcuffs. ‘Ainsley Dugdale, I’m detaining you under Section Fourteen of the Criminal Procedure – Scotland – Act 1995—’
‘FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!’ The kids pulled up their bikes, blocking the pavement, making an impromptu brawl-pit in the space between the Volkswagen and a garden wall. ‘COME ON: KILL HIM!’
‘Shut up!’ Back to Dugdale. ‘Because I suspect you of having committed an offence punishable by imprisonment, namely the—’
‘HOOH! HOOH! HOOH!’
‘GAAAAH!’ Dugdale lunged, but not at Callum. He grabbed the wee girl by the throat and yanked her off her bike.
Her tin of cider hit the deck and bounced, sending out a spurt of frothy urine-coloured liquid. ‘Ulk …’ Eyes wide, both hands clutching onto Dugdale’s forearm, legs pinwheeling and kicking at the air.
Oh sodding hell. And things had been going so well right up till that point.
‘No, no, no!’ Callum scrambled to his feet. ‘That’s enough. Let the girl go.’
Her wee mate hurled his roll-up. It burst against Dugdale’s chest in a little hiss of sparks. ‘LET HER GO, YOU DIRTY PAEDO!’
‘Come on, Dugdale … Ainsley. You don’t want to hurt a kid, right?’ Hands out, open, nice and safe. ‘You’re not that kind of guy, are you?’
‘PAEDO! PAEDO! PAEDO!’
Callum hissed the words out the side of his mouth. ‘You are not helping.’
Dugdale stuck out his other hand. ‘Money!’
‘Come on, Ainsley, let the girl go and—’
‘GIVE US YOUR MONEY!’ He gave the girl a shake, sending her legs swinging wildly as her face turned a darker shade of puce. ‘NOW!’
‘OK, OK. Just let her breathe.’ Callum dug out his battered old wallet. The one with the threadbare lining sticking out. He took the last tenner and crumpled fiver from inside. ‘Here.’ He placed the cash on the floor.
‘Is that it?’ Dugdale glowered at the two sorry notes. ‘ALL OF IT, OR I SNAP HER NECK IN HALF!’
Baboon Boy’s chant died. ‘Paedo …?’
The kicks were getting weaker: those Nike trainers barely moving.
Her wee friend snivelled. Wiped his top lip on the back of his sleeve. ‘Please, mister. Don’t hurt my sister …’
‘That’s all the money I’ve got, OK? Now let the girl go.’
Dugdale growled, then chucked the little girl at Callum.
He ducked for the fifteen quid as Callum dropped the tatty wallet and caught her wee body before it hit the pavement. And that’s when everything slowed down.
The tatty wallet bounced off the paving slabs, spinning away, its torn lining waving like a flag.
‘Aaaggggh …’ She hauled in a huge whoop of air, both hands wrapped around her throat – as if Dugdale hadn’t done a good enough job throttling her and she was having a go herself.
But Dugdale didn’t snatch up the money, he kept on going, smashing into Callum and the wee girl, sending them slamming back into the Volkswagen. Rocking it on its springs.
A fist connected with Callum’s ribs. Arms and legs tangled. Flashes of sky, then concrete, then rusty metal, then sky again.
Then bang – everything was at full speed again.
Callum yanked the pepper spray from his jacket pocket. The little girl wriggled her way out from between them, trainers digging into his thigh as she went. Callum flipped the cap off the spray and thumbed the button, sending a squirt of burning pepper stink out at Dugdale’s face.
Missed.
Dugdale didn’t. He rammed his hand into Callum’s crotch, grabbed hold, and squeezed.
Oh God …
But when Callum opened his mouth to scream, all that came out was a strangled wheeze – eyes wide as every single ache and pain in his body disappeared, replaced by the thermonuclear explosion going off in his scrotum. It raced out through his stomach, down his legs, up into his chest – a shockwave ripping out from ground zero as Dugdale twisted his handful like a rusty doorknob.
Oh sodding Jesus …
Dugdale let go, but the nuclear war still raged.
No …
Water filled Callum’s eyes, making the word go all soft focus, but the pain remained pin-sharp. He lashed out with the pepper spray, swinging it in an arc with the button held down.
Someone bellowed in pain.
Then scuffing feet.
Argh …
The clatter of a very large man tripping over a fallen bicycle.
A dull thunk, like a watermelon bouncing off a coffee table.
Oh that hurt …
‘BLOODY PAEDO!’ Some more thunks.
‘Come on, leave him!’
Thunk, thunk, thunk. ‘BLOODY BALDY PAEDO WANKER!’
Ow …
‘Willow, come on! Before he gets up!’
The sound of someone spitting.
‘Grab the cash, Benny. No, you spaz, get the wallet too!’
Then trainers on concrete, the rattle of bicycles being dragged upright, and the growl of tyres fading away into the distance.
One last cry of, ‘PIGGY, PIGGY, PIGGY!’
The sound of that big black Mercedes pulling away now the floor-show was over.
And silence.
Callum cursed and panted and wobbled his way up to his knees, one hand clutching his tattered groin.
Sodding … for … ooogh …
Deep breaths.
Nope. Not helping.
He scrubbed a hand across his watery eyes.
Dugdale lay on his front, one hand behind his back the other limp in the gutter. His face looked as if someone had driven over it with a ride-on lawnmower.
Callum dragged himself over and slapped on the cuffs. ‘You’re nicked.’
Ow …
‘Little monsters …’ Never mind saying thank you – no, that was too much to hope for these days, he’d only saved her life, not as if it was that big a deal – but did they have to take his sodding wallet?
Dugdale twitched and groaned, eyes still closed, the blood crusting on his battered nose. A swathe of red crossed his face, following the pepper spray’s less than delicate path, swollen and angry looking. Like the lump on his head. It was going to be impressive when it finished growing – about the size and colour of a small aubergine. Probably have himself a gargantuan headache when he finally woke up. Maybe concussion too.
Good. Served him right.
Callum pulled out his mobile, staying where he was – standing, hunched over almost double, one hand on his knee, holding him upright as he dialled.
Three rings and then a woman’s voice came on the line, sounding small and concerned. ‘Hello?’
‘Elaine, it’s me.’
‘Callum? Are you OK? You don’t sound OK. Is everything OK?’
He gritted his teeth as an aftershock rippled its way through his groin. ‘No. Can you phone the bank? I need you to cancel my debit and credit card. Someone’s snatched them.’
A sigh. ‘Oh, Callum, not your dad’s wallet …’
‘Don’t start, please. It’ll be bad enough when McAdams gets here, don’t need you kicking the party off early.’