Salted with Fire

CHAPTER XVIII

In the meantime the said child, a splendid boy, was the delight of the humble dwelling to which Maggie had borne him in triumph. But the mind of the soutar was not a little exercised as to how far their right in the boy approached the paternal: were they justified in regarding him as their love-property, before having made exhaustive inquiry as to who could claim, and might re-appropriate him? For nothing could liberate the finder of such a thing from the duty of restoring it upon demand, seeing there could be no assurance that the child had been deliberately and finally abandoned! Maggie, indeed, regarded the baby as absolutely hers by right of rescue; but her father asked himself whether by appropriating him she might not be depriving his mother of the one remaining link between her and humanity, and so abandoning her helpless to the Enemy. Surely to take and withhold from any woman her child, must be to do what was possible toward dividing her from the unseen and eternal! And he saw that, for the sake of his own child also, and the truth in her, both she and he must make every possible endeavour to restore the child to his mother.

So the next time that Maggie brought the crowing infant to the kitchen, her father, who sat as usual under the small window, to gather upon his work all the light to be had, said, with one quick glance at the child—

“Eh, the bonny, glaid cratur! Wha can say ‘at sic as he, ‘at haena the twa in ane to see til them, getna frae Himsel a mair partic’lar and carefu’ regaird, gien that war poassible, than ither bairns! I would fain believe that same!”

“Eh, father, but ye aye think bonny!” exclaimed Maggie. “Some hae been dingin ‘t in upo me ‘at sic as he maist aye turn oot onything but weel, whan they step oot intil the warl. Eh, but we maun tak care o’ ‘im, father! Whaur would I be wi’oot you at my back!”

“And God at the back o’ baith, bairn!” rejoined the soutar. “It’s thinkable that the Almichty may hae special diffeeculty wi sic as he, but nane can jeedge o’ ony thing or body till they see the hin’er en’ o’ ‘t a’. But I’m thinkin it maun aye be harder for ane that hasna his ain mither to luik til. Ony ither body, be she as guid as she may, maun be but a makshift!—For ae thing he winna get the same naitral disciplene ‘at ilka mither cat gies its kitlins!”

“Maybe! maybe!—I ken I couldna ever lay a finger upo’ the bonny cratur mysel!” said Maggie.

“There ‘tis!” returned her father. “And I dinna think,” he went on, “we could expec muckle frae the wisdom o’ the mither o’ ‘m, gien she had him. I doobt she micht turn oot to be but a makshift hersel! There’s mony aboot ‘im ‘at’ll be sair eneuch upon ‘im, but nane the wiser for that! Mony ane’ll luik upon ‘im as a bairn in whause existence God has had nae share—or jist as muckle share as gies him a grup o’ ‘im to gie ‘im his licks! There’s a heap o’ mystery aboot a’thing, Maggie, and that frae the vera beginnin to the vera en’! It may be ‘at yon bairnie’s i’ the waur danger jist frae haein you and me, Maggie! Eh, but I wuss his ain mither war gien back til him! And wha can tell but she’s needin him waur nor he’s needin her—though there maun aye be something he canna get—‘cause ye’re no his ain mither, Maggie, and I’m no even his ain gutcher!”

The adoptive mother burst into a howl.

“Father, father, ye’ll brak the hert o’ me!” she almost yelled, and laid the child on the top of her father’s hands in the very act of drawing his waxed ends.

Thus changing him perforce from cobbler to nurse, she bolted from the kitchen, and up the little stair; and throwing herself on her knees by the bedside, sought, instinctively and unconsciously, the presence of him who sees in secret. But for a time she had nothing to say even to him, and could only moan on in the darkness beneath her closed eyelids.

Suddenly she came to herself, remembering that she too had abandoned her child: she must go back to him!

But as she ran, she heard loud noises of infantile jubilation, and re-entering the kitchen, was amazed to see the soutar’s hands moving as persistently if not quite so rapidly as before: the child hung at the back of the soutar’s head, in the bight of the long jack-towel from behind the door, holding on by the gray hair of his occiput. There he tugged and crowed, while his care-taker bent over his labour, circumspect in every movement, nor once forgetting the precious thing on his back, who was evidently delighted with his new style of being nursed, and only now and then made a wry face at some movement of the human machine too abrupt for his comfort. Evidently he took it all as intended solely for his pleasure.

Maggie burst out laughing through the tears that yet filled her eyes, and the child, who could hear but not see her, began to cry a little, so rousing the mother in her to a sense that he was being treated too unceremoniously; when she bounded to liberate him, undid the towel, and seated herself with him in her lap. The grandfather, not sorry to be released, gave his shoulders a little writhing shake, laughed an amused laugh, and set off boring and stitching and drawing at redoubled speed.

“Weel, Maggie?” he said, with loving interrogation, but without looking up.

“I saw ye was richt, father, and it set me greitin sae sair that I forgot the bairn, and you, father, as weel. Gang on, please, and say what ye think fit: it’s a’ true!”

“There’s little left for me to say, lassie, noo ye hae begun to say’t to yersel. But, believe me, though ye can never be the bairn’s ain mither, she can never be til ‘im the same ye hae been a’ready, whatever mair or better may follow. The pairt ye hae chosen is guid eneuch never to be taen frae ye—i’ this warl or the neist!”

“Thank ye, father, for that! I’ll dee for him what I can, ohn forgotten that he’s no mine but anither wuman’s. I maunna tak frae her what’s her ain!”

The soutar, especially while at his work, was always trying “to get,” as he said, “into his Lord’s company,”—now endeavouring, perhaps, to understand some saying of his, or now, it might be, to discover his reason for saying it just then and there. Often, also, he would be pondering why he allowed this or that to take place in the world, for it was his house, where he was always present and always at work. Humble as diligent disciple, he never doubted, when once a thing had taken place, that it was by his will it came to pass, but he saw that evil itself, originating with man or his deceiver, was often made to subserve the final will of the All-in-All. And he knew in his own self that much must first be set right there, before the will of the Father could be done in earth as it was in heaven. Therefore in any new development of feeling in his child, he could recognize the pressure of a guiding hand in the formation of her history; and was able to understand St. John where he says, “Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” For first, foremost, and deepest of all, he positively and absolutely believed in the man whose history he found in the Gospel: that is, he believed not only that such a man once was, and that every word he then spoke was true, but he believed that that man was still in the world, and that every word he then spoke, had always been, still was, and always would be true. Therefore he also believed—which was more both to the Master and to John MacLear, his disciple—that the chief end of his conscious life must be to live in His presence, and keep his affections ever, afresh and constantly, turning toward him in hope and aspiration. Hence every day he felt afresh that he too was living in the house of God, among the things of the father of Jesus.

The life-influence of the soutar had already for some time, and in some measure, been felt at Tiltowie. In a certain far-off way, men seemed to surmise what he was about, although they were, one and all, unable to estimate the nature or value of his pursuit. What their idea of him was, may in a measure be gathered from the answer of the village-fool to the passer-by who said to him: “Weel, and what’s yer soutar aboot the noo?” “Ow, as usual,” answered the natural, “turnin up ilka muckle stane to luik for his maister aneth it!” For in truth he believed that the Lord of men was very often walking to and fro in the earthly kingdom of his Father, watching what was there going on, and doing his best to bring it to its true condition; that he was ever and always in the deepest sense present in the same, where he could, if he pleased, at any moment or in any spot, appear to whom he would. Never did John MacLear lift his eyes heavenward without a vague feeling that he might that very moment, catch a sight of the glory of his coming Lord; if ever he fixed his eyes on the far horizon, it was never without receiving a shadowy suggestion that, like a sail towering over the edge of the world, the first great flag of the Lord’s hitherward march might that moment be rising between earth and heaven;—for certainly He would come unawares, and then who could tell what moment He might not set his foot on the edge of the visible, and come out of the dark in which He had hitherto clothed himself as with a garment—to appear in the ancient glory of his transfiguration! Thus he was ever ready to fall a watching—and thus, also, never did he play the false prophet, with cries of “Lo here!” and “Lo there!” And even when deepest lost in watching, the lowest whisper of humanity seemed always loud enough to recall him to his “work alive”—lest he should be found asleep at His coming. His was the same live readiness that had opened the ear of Maggie to the cry of the little one on the hill-side. As his daily work was ministration to the weary feet of his Master’s men, so was his soul ever awake to their sorrows and spiritual necessities.

“There’s a haill warl’ o’ bonny wark aboot me!” he would say. “I hae but to lay my han’ to what’s neist me, and it’s sure to be something that wants deein! I’m clean ashamt sometimes, whan I wauk up i’ the mornin, to fin’ mysel deein naething!”

Every evening while the summer lasted, he would go out alone for a walk, generally toward a certain wood nigh the town; for there lay, although it was of no great extent, and its trees were small, a probability of escaping for a few moments from the eyes of men, and the chance of certain of another breed showing themselves.

“No that,” he once said to Maggie, “I ever cared vera muckle aboot the angels: it’s the man, the perfec man, wha was there wi’ the Father afore ever an angel was h’ard tell o’, that sen’s me upo my knees! Whan I see a man that but minds me o’ Him, my hert rises wi’ a loup, as gien it wad ‘maist lea’ my body ahint it.—Love’s the law o’ the universe, and it jist works amazin!”

One day a man, seeing him approach in the near distance, and knowing he had not perceived his presence, lay down behind a great stone to watch “the mad soutar,” in the hope of hearing him say something insane. As John came nearer, the man saw his lips moving, and heard sounds issue from them; but as he passed, nothing was audible but the same words repeated several times, and with the same expression of surprise and joy as if at something for the first time discovered:—“Eh, Lord! Eh, Lord, I see! I un’erstaun’!—Lord, I’m yer ain—to the vera deith!—a’ yer ain!—Thy father bless thee, Lord!—I ken ye care for noucht else!—Eh, but my hert’s glaid!—that glaid, I ‘maist canna speyk!”

That man ever after spoke of the soutar with a respect that resembled awe.

After that talk with her father about the child and his mother, a certain silent change appeared in Maggie. People saw in her face an expression which they took to resemble that of one whose child was ill, and was expected to die. But what Maggie felt was only resignation to the will of her Lord: the child was not hers but the Lord’s, lent to her for a season! She must walk softly, doing everything for him as under the eye of the Master, who might at any moment call to her, “Bring the child: I want him now!” And she soon became as cheerful as before, but never after quite lost the still, solemn look as of one in the eternal spaces, who saw beyond this world’s horizon. She talked less with her father than hitherto, but at the same time seemed to live closer to him. Occasionally she would ask him to help her to understand something he had said; but even then he would not always try to make it plain; he might answer—

“I see, lassie, ye’re no just ready for ‘t! It’s true, though; and the day maun come whan ye’ll see the thing itsel, and ken what it is; and that’s the only w’y to win at the trowth o’ ‘t! In fac’, to see a thing, and ken the thing, and be sure it’s true, is a’ ane and the same thing!” Such a word from her father was always enough to still and content the girl.

Her delight in the child, instead of growing less, went on increasing because of the awe, rather than dread of having at last to give him up.

CHAPTER XIX

Meanwhile the minister remained moody, apparently sunk in contemplation, but in fact mostly brooding, and meditating neither form nor truth. Sometimes he felt indeed as if he were losing altogether his power of thinking—especially when, in the middle of the week, he sat down to find something to say on the Sunday. He had greatly lost interest in the questions that had occupied him while he was yet a student, and imagined himself in preparation for what he called the ministry—never thinking how one was to minister who had not yet learned to obey, and had never sought anything but his own glorification! It was little wonder he should lose interest in a profession, where all was but profession! What pleasure could that man find in holy labour who, not indeed offered his stipend to purchase the Holy Ghost, but offered all he knew of the Holy Ghost to purchase popularity? No wonder he should find himself at length in lack of talk to pay for his one thing needful! He had always been more or less dependent on commentaries for the joint he provided—and even for the cooking of it: was it any wonder that his guests should show less and less appetite for his dinners?

To have food to give them, he must think! To think, he must have peace! to have peace, he must forget himself! to forget himself, he must repent, and walk in the truth! to walk in the truth, he must love God and his neighbour!—Even to have interest in the dry bone of criticism, which was all he could find in his larder, he must broil it—and so burn away in the slow fire of his intellect, now dull and damp enough from lack of noble purpose, every scrap of meat left upon it! His last relation to his work, his fondly cherished intellect, was departing from him, to leave him lord of a dustheap! In the unsavoury mound he grubbed and nosed and scraped dog-like, but could not uncover a single fragment that smelt of provender. The morning of Saturday came, and he recognized with a burst of agonizing sweat, that he dared not even imagine his appearance before his congregation: he had not one written word to read to them; and extempore utterance was, from conscious vacancy, impossible to him; he could not even call up one meaningless phrase to articulate! He flung his concordance sprawling upon the floor, snatched up his hat and clerical cane, and, scarce knowing what he did, presently found himself standing at the soutar’s door, where he had already knocked, without a notion of what he was come to seek. The old parson, generally in a mood to quarrel with the soutar, had always walked straight into his workshop, and greeted him crouched over his work; but the new parson always waited on the doorstep for Maggie to admit him.

She had opened the door wide ere he knew why he had come, or could think of anything to say. And now he was in greater uneasiness than usual at the thought of the cobbler’s deep-set black eyes about to be fixed upon him, as if to probe his very thoughts.

“Do you think your father would have time,” he asked humbly, “to measure me for a pair of light boots?”

Mr. Blatherwick was very particular about his foot-gear, and had hitherto always fitted himself at Deemouth; but he had at length learned that nothing he could there buy approached in quality, either of material or workmanship, what the soutar supplied to his poorest customer: he would mend anything worth mending, but would never make anything inferior.

“Ye’ll get what ye want at such and such place,” he would answer, “and I doobtna it’ll be as guid as can be made at the siller; but for my ain pairt, ye maun excuse me!”

“‘Deed, sir, he’ll be baith glad and prood to mak ye as guid a pair o’ beets as he can compass,” answered Maggie. “Jist step in here, sir, and lat him ken what ye want. My bairn’s greitin, and I maun gang til ‘im; it’s seldom he cries oot!”

The minister walked in at the open door of the kitchen, and met the eyes of the soutar expectant.

“Ye’re welcome, sir!” said MacLear, and returned his eyes to what he had for a moment interrupted.

“I want you to make me a nice pair of boots, if you please,” said the parson, as cheerily as he could. “I am rather particular about the fit, I fear!”

“And what for no, sir?” answered the soutar. “I’ll do what I can onygait, I promise ye—but wi’ mair readiness nor confidence as to the fit; for I canna profess assurance o’ fittin’ the first time, no haein the necessar instinc’ frae the mak’ o’ the man to the shape o’ the fut, sir.”

“Of course I should like to have them both neat and comfortable,” said the parson.

“In coorse ye wad, sir, and sae would I! For I confess I wad fain hae my customers tak note o’ my success in followin the paittern set afore me i’ the first oreeginal fut!”

“But you will allow, I suppose, that a foot is seldom as perfect now as when the divine idea of the member was first embodied by its maker?” rejoined the minister.

“Ow, ay; there’s been mony an interferin circumstance; but whan His kingdom’s come, things ‘ll tak a turn for the redemption o’ the feet as weel as the lave o’ the body—as the apostle Paul says i’ the twenty-third verse o’ the aucht chapter o’ his epistle to the Romans;—only I’m weel aveesed, sir, ‘at there’s no sic a thing as adoption mintit at i’ the original Greek. That can hae no pairt i’ what fowk ca’s the plan o’ salvation—as gien the consumin fire o’ the Love eternal was to be ca’d a plan! Hech, minister, it scunners me! But for the fut, it’s aye perfec’ eneuch to be my pattern, for it’s the only ane I hae to follow! It’s Himsel sets the shape o’ the shune this or that man maun weir!”

“That’s very true—and the same applies to everything a man cannot help. A man has both the make of his mind and of his circumstances to do the best he can with, and sometimes they don’t seem to fit each other—so well as, I hope, your boots will fit my feet.”

“Ye’re richt there, sir—only that no man’s bun’ to follow his inclinations or his circumstances, ony mair than he’s bun’ to alter his fut to the shape o’ a ready-made beet!—But hoo wull ye hae them made, sir?—I mean what sort o’ butes wad ye hae me mak?”

“Oh, I leave that to you, Mr. MacLear!—a sort of half Wellington, I suppose—a neat pair of short boots.”

“I understand, sir.”

“And now tell me,” said the minister, moved by a sudden impulse, coming he knew not whence, “what you think of this new fad, if it be nothing worse, of the English clergy—I mean about the duty of confessing to the priest.—I see they have actually prevailed upon that wretched creature we’ve all been reading about in the papers lately, to confess the murder of her little brother! Do you think they had any right to do that? Remember the jury had acquitted her.”

“And has she railly confessed? I am glaid o’ that! I only wuss they could get a haud o’ Madeline Smith as weel, and persuaud her to confess! Eh, the state o’ that puir crater’s conscience! It ‘maist gars me greit to think o’ ‘t! Gien she wad but confess, houp wad spring to life in her sin-oppressed soul! Eh, but it maun be a gran’ lichtenin to that puir thing! I’m richt glaid to hear o’ ‘t.”

“I didn’t know, Mr. MacLear, that you favoured the power and influence of the priesthood to such an extent! We Presbyterian clergy are not in the way of doing the business of detectives, taking upon us to act as the agents of human justice! There is no one, guilty or not, but is safe with us!”

“As with any confessor, Papist or Protestant,” rejoined the soutar. “If I understand your news, sir, it means that they persuaded the poor soul to confess her guilt, and so put herself safe in the hands of God!”

“And is not that to come between God and the sinner?”

“Doubtless, sir—in order to bring them together; to persuade the sinner to the first step toward reconciliation with God, and peace in his own mind.”

“That he could take without the intervention of the priest!”

“Yes, but not without his own consenting will! And in this case, she would not, and did not confess without being persuaded to it!”

“They had no right to threaten her!”

“Did they threaten her? If they did, they were wrong.—And yet I don’t know! In any case they did for her the very best thing that could be done! For they did get her, you tell me, to confess—and so cast from her the horror of carrying about in her secret heart the knowledge of an unforgiven crime! Christians of all denominations hold, I presume, that, to be forgiven, a sin must be confessed!”

“Yes, to God—that is enough! No mere man has a right to know the sins of his neighbour!”

“Not even the man against whom the sin was committed?”

“Suppose the sin has never come abroad, but remains hidden in the heart, is a man bound to confess it? Is he, for instance, bound to tell his neighbour that he used to hate him, and in his heart wish him evil?”

“The time micht come whan to confess even that would ease a man’s hert! but in sic a case, the man’s first duty, it seems to me, would be to watch for an opportunity o’ doin that neebour a kin’ness. That would be the deid blow to his hatred! But where a man has done an act o’ injustice, a wrang to his neebour, he has no ch’ice, it seems to me, but confess it: that neebour is the one from whom first he has to ask and receive forgiveness; and that neebour alone can lift the burden o’ ‘t aff o’ him! Besides, the confession may be but fair, to baud the blame frae bein laid at the door o’ some innocent man!—And the author o’ nae offence can affoord to forget,” ended the soutar, “hoo the Lord said, ‘There’s naething happit-up, but maun come to the licht’!”

It seems to me that nothing could have led the minister so near the presentation of his own false position, except the will of God working in him to set him free. He continued, driven by an impulse he neither understood nor suspected—

“Suppose the thing not known, however, or likely to be known, and that the man’s confession, instead of serving any good end, would only destroy his reputation and usefulness, bring bitter grief upon those who loved him, and nothing but shame to the one he had wronged—what would you say then?—You will please to remember, Mr. MacLear, that I am putting an entirely imaginary case, for the sake of argument only!”

“Eh, but I doobt—I doobt yer imaiginary case!” murmured the soutar to himself, hardly daring even to think his thought clearly, lest somehow it might reveal itself.

“In that case,” he replied, “it seems to me the offender wad hae to cast aboot him for ane fit to be trustit, and to him reveal the haill affair, that he may get his help to see and do what’s richt: it maks an unco differ to luik at a thing throuw anither man’s een, i’ the supposed licht o’ anither man’s conscience! The wrang dune may hae caused mair evil, that is, mair injustice, nor the man himsel kens! And what’s the reputation ye speak o’, or what’s the eesefu’ness o’ sic a man? Can it be worth onything? Isna his hoose a lee? isna it biggit upo the san’? What kin’ o’ a usefulness can that be that has hypocrisy for its fundation? Awa wi’ ‘t! Lat him cry oot to a’ the warl’, ‘I’m a heepocrit! I’m a worm, and no man!’ Lat him cry oot to his makker, ‘I’m a beast afore thee! Mak a man o’ me’!”