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“She’s a bit young, isn’t she, Niall? Have you thought of what people will think?” She put one hand up as though to ward off an outburst. “All right, you say she’s just a student in your class and it’s all perfectly innocent. Maybe that’s true, but people talk.” She gave him a meaningful look. “As you well know. I didn’t say it to the bank manager, of course, but can you imagine if I’d told him you weren’t there because it was more important to be with this…this little tart?” A faint flush of pink stained her face. “Can you?”
“I can.”
“But you don’t care, do you? It really doesn’t matter to you what people think. You lock yourself away in your own little world, and nothing else exists.” She stopped, left the room and returned a few moments later with a large white envelope. “Maybe this will bring you back to earth. It came today.” She handed it to him. “From that boyfriend of Moruadh’s in Paris. It was addressed to you, so I opened it, but the letters inside were for her.”
He took them from her. Half a dozen gray envelopes.
He riffled through them. All had been opened. Letters from him sent during the year before Moruadh died, forwarded by one of the many men who had drifted through her life at that time. He looked up and met Sharon’s eyes.
“Did you open these?”
“They were already open.”
He looked up at her. “Did you read them?”
“One of them, I glanced at. It said something about her needing to get help and—”
“I know what it said, Sharon. I wrote it.” He got up and walked across the kitchen to the window and stared out at the dark night.
“I don’t make a habit of reading your personal mail,” Sharon said. “You know that. You had that exhibit in Paris last month, and I thought that this was something to do with that. A business matter. We’re supposed to be partners, aren’t we?”
He didn’t answer.
“Whatever you think you understand from what you read,” he said a moment later, “you understand nothing at all.”
“But Niall—”
“You understand nothing,” he repeated. “Moruadh was a talented young musician, greatly loved and admired by everyone who knew her.” He said the words as though by rote. “She was also a beautiful woman who had a lot of admirers. Her death was a tragic accident and an incredible loss to us all.”
Sharon stared at him as though transfixed.
“Is that clear?”
Various emotions played across her face. For a moment, she seemed about to speak, but then she shrugged and took his glass to the sink.
“There’s another matter I wanted to talk to you about.” He sat down at the table, watched as she pulled out a chair. “Look, I think we both know this isn’t working, Sharon. Us, I mean. We spend half our time together arguing over one thing or another. There’s just—” he shrugged “—nothing there anymore.”
“Oh, really?” She got up from the table, crossed the room. Regarded him, arms crossed, her back against the wall. “Nothing there, you say? And do you know why that is? Niall? Do you have the faintest bloody idea why there’s nothing there?”
He waited for her to tell him.
“No, of course you don’t, because you’re as oblivious to what’s happening with us as you are to everything else going on around you. Well, I’ll tell you. You’ve lost touch with yourself, Niall. You can’t connect.”
He bent to pick out a burr from the dog’s coat. “You’re right, Sharon. I can’t. Don’t. Won’t. I’ve never been much on giving guided tours of my psyche. Go and find someone who emotes. There’s a drama teacher at the college who’ll sob at the drop of a hat. I’ll find out if he’s available.”
“Sure, make a joke of it. It’s the easy way, isn’t it? Well, fine. It’s over, finished. I’ll survive. And you’ll meet someone new and it’ll be fine at first, just as it was with us. She’ll fall in love with your looks and the way you have about you, so bloody interested with all your questions and rapt attention, but you’re like a collector. You take what you need, but you give nothing back.”
“Well, that’s my problem, isn’t it?”
“Yes it is, Niall. And frankly, I’m glad to be done with it. You’ve got something locked away up there and you’ll sacrifice anything before you let it out.”
AN HOUR OR SO AFTER Sharon left, Niall sat at his desk in the study, going through the rest of the mail. Press notices from his show in Paris, an invitation to a gallery opening in Dublin. Another letter from the American writer who wanted to interview him about Moruadh. For a moment, he held the blue envelope in his hand, its color triggering a memory of a spring day five years ago. Wisps of clouds, a lark high in the sky. A windy hillside…
Moruadh had found a gentian, the first of the year. A bright blue flower that she’d held out for him to see. There was a bit of doggerel that went along with finding the first one. They’d both learned it as children, and he had recited it in Irish, one of the few scraps of Irish he knew.
“May we be here at this time next,” he’d said.
“I won’t be,” Moruadh replied. “I’m going to die.”
Her eyes as blue as the flower in her hand looked right into his and he felt a chill across his back.
“What is it? Are you ill? Is there something wrong?”
“There is not.” She smiled, one of the lightning-quick smiles that lit her face like sunshine. “Nothing at all.”
“Then why would you say something like that?”
“Because it just came to me.”
“You’re standing in a field on a sunny day and it just comes to you that you’re going to die?” He started to become angry with her. “Sure, it makes perfect sense.”
“No, it makes no sense. It just came to me.”
At a loss for words, he shook his head at her.
“Ah, Niall.” With a laugh, she tossed the flower aside. “Don’t try to understand. Some things aren’t meant to be understood.”
By the same time the next year, she’d claimed not to remember that day with the gentians. Niall looked at the blue envelope again, and without bothering to open it, threw it into the wastepaper basket at his feet.
CHAPTER THREE
STILL GROGGY, Kate stood in the doorway of Annie’s sitting room. Instead of the quick nap she’d meant to take, she’d slept through dinner. When Annie tapped at the door to say she’d made sandwiches and tea, it was nearly eleven.
Kate’s glance shifted from the bartender, dozing now by a blazing fire, to Annie, who sat at a little desk talking on the phone. A girl with cropped orange hair and thickly mascaraed eyes sat on the couch next to a dark-haired boy who was whispering in her ear. Arms folded across her chest, the girl dangled a shoe from her toe, studying her foot as she listened.
Apparently sensing Kate in the doorway, the boy looked up and his eyes widened slightly. It took Kate a moment to recognize him as the Garda she’d seen earlier, changed now into jeans and a red sweater. He half stood and smiled at her.
“Didn’t I meet you on the cliffs earlier this evening?” she asked.
His face went blank.
“About six-thirty?” She waited for him to recognize her. “I told you about seeing a fight, or something.”
He shook his head. “Must have been someone who looked like me.”
“Rory was out on the Galway Road investigating an accident.” The girl draped her arm around his neck, eyeing Kate as though she might constitute competition. “Weren’t you, love?”
“I was.” He winked at Kate. “But sure, all the Gardai look alike, don’t they? Tall, dark, handsome and irresistible to women.” He nudged his thigh against the girl’s. “Right, Caitlin?”
Kate shrugged. Maybe she was wrong. She’d been tired, her brain still on California time and the light hadn’t been good. She started to speak, but Rory had turned his attention back to the girl, his mouth at her ear. Awkward and more than a little confused, Kate was about to go back upstairs, when Annie got off the phone.
“Did you have a little snooze then?” Annie put her arm around Kate’s shoulder, drawing her into the sitting room. “This is my daughter, Caitlin.” She laughed. “Kate and Caitlin, funny that. And this is Rory McBride, soon to be my son-in-law.”
“June fourteenth.” Caitlin gazed adoringly at Rory, who had one arm around her shoulder, the other draped along the back of the couch. “And we’re going on honeymoon. Majorca,” she added with a little giggle.
“And this Sleeping Beauty over here—” Annie tweaked the bartender’s cheek “—is my husband, Patrick, who you’ve already met.”
“Whaa?” The bartender stirred and opened his eyes.
“Nothing, Pat. Go back to sleep. Kate, you make yourself comfortable, now.” Annie flapped her hand at Rory. “Move over and give Katie some room on the couch.”
“No, stay where you are.” Kate dropped down on a hassock by the fire and looked over at Annie. “Did your houseguest come home yet?”
“She did not.” Annie poured tea into flowered cups and handed one to Kate. “But that was my brother Michael on the phone. He’s the sergeant in charge at the station. ‘Don’t worry about Elizabeth,’ he tells me. ‘Teenagers are like that.’”
“He’s right, Annie,” Rory said. “Elizabeth’s been on and on about wanting to go to Galway. It’s natural enough. The whole reason she’s here with us is to see a bit of the country. She’s not seeing much of it stuck in Cragg’s Head.”
“It’s true, Mam,” Caitlin said. “All I hear from her is how boring it is in Cragg’s Head.” She eyed Kate for a moment. “It’s very quiet, especially in the winter. If you’re looking for excitement, you’ll not find it here.”
“Kate’s not here for excitement,” Annie said. “She’s writing about Moruadh Maguire. Big American magazine, right, Katie?” She laughed. “Just think of it, a celebrity right in my sitting room.”
Kate grinned, thinking about her maxed-out credit cards and depleted checking account. “Hardly.”
As Annie went on to tell Caitlin about a mutual friend she’d seen that day, Kate looked around the cozy room. Overstuffed armchairs, flowered curtains drawn across the dark night outside. A feeling of well-tended comfort. The kind of room in which you’d curl up with a good book. Her eyes moved from Annie, presiding over a small table set with a china teapot and plates of sliced cake and sandwiches, to Caitlin pouring milk and tea into teacups, and then to Rory who was staring into the fire. Kate watched him for a moment. At first glance, he appeared at ease, but his fingers rapped a continuous tattoo on the back of the couch. He reminded her of an engine idling—motion barely contained, ready to bolt in an instant. When Caitlin offered him a teacup, he jumped as though he’d just realized she was there. His head, Kate was almost certain, was not in this room.
“Come on, Kate.” Annie broke into her reverie. “Tea? A bit of treacle bread. It’s nice. I made it just this afternoon.” She held out the plate. “A bit overdone, I suppose. Took my eye off the stove for a minute and the next thing I knew I was smelling smoke.”
“How did you hear about Moruadh then?” Caitlin sipped her tea and looked at Kate. “Was she popular in America?”
“She wasn’t really well-known, but I wrote about her three years ago and we talked on the phone a few times.” Kate glanced down at the slice of cake Annie had just put on her plate. “Even though I’d never met her, I felt as though I knew her somehow.”
“Moruadh could make you feel that way,” Annie said.
“She could.” Patrick spooned jam onto a piece of bread. “And she had a way of making you think there was no one in the world she’d rather be talking to than you yourself.” He laughed. “Even a tubby old baldy like me.”
Caitlin smiled at her father. “Da had a little crush on her.”
“Tell me a man under ninety who didn’t,” Annie said. “She was a pretty girl. I don’t think Hughie Fitzpatrick ever got over her marrying Maguire.”
Kate thought of the reporter she’d met in Dooley’s, the bitterness in his voice as he’d spoken about Maguire. Time had obviously done little to lessen his hatred for the man.
“Hughie and Moruadh were sweethearts, until she started making a name for herself,” Annie said. “The next thing I hear, she’s married to Maguire, and they’re living in Paris.”
“A cool one, that Maguire,” Patrick said. “I suppose his money won her over in the end.” He looked over at the couple on the couch. “How would you describe Niall Maguire, Rory?”
“Ah, he’s just…” Rory’s forehead creased in a frown. “Sure, I don’t know how to put it. He can look right at you and it’s as though you’re not even there. And you’ll never see him having a laugh down at the pub or out kicking a football. He’s just never been one of the lads.”
“But he’s lovely looking, though,” Caitlin said with a little smile. “Those eyelashes of his. No matter how much mascara I used, I couldn’t get mine to look that long. You’ve not met him yet, Kate?”
“No. I’m going to try and see him tomorrow.” She’d left her notebook upstairs, but made a mental note to jot down the comments she’d heard as soon as she got back to her room. At this rate, and given her own suspicions about Maguire’s guilt, it was going to be hard to maintain even a semblance of objectivity.
“He’s very polite.” Caitlin examined her nails. “Makes you feel as though what you’re saying is really important to him.”
“Very polite.” Rory traced circles in the air near his temple. “Go and varnish your nails or something, Caitlin.”
“What’s the matter with that?” Caitlin asked, wide-eyed. “I’m just saying he has nice manners.”
“Sure, Caitlin,” Rory said quietly, his head bowed, “if he’s got nice manners, he couldn’t possibly have pushed Moruadh down the cliffs, could he? Not without saying ‘pardon me’ as he shoved her over.”
“Rory.” Caitlin slapped his arm. “That’s terrible, no one knows that for sure.”
“I’m no fan of Maguire, mind you, but in my opinion, Moruadh fell,” Patrick said. “She was a great one for the outdoors. Out there every day she was, in all weather, going for her walks. For years, people have been clamoring at the council to put a fence up. ’Tis a tragedy that it took this to make it happen.”
“He’s right.” Caitlin looked at Kate. “People should stop all this gossip about Mr. Maguire. It isn’t nice. Wait till you meet him, Kate. You’ll fall in love with him, I’m telling you.”
“Oh, but Kate’s married,” Annie said, smiling. “Aren’t you, Kate?”
Kate and the bartender exchanged glances. Time for her to bow out, she decided.
“No.” She grinned. “I like to play the field. Love ’em and leave ’em, that’s my motto.” She stood and put her teacup on the tray. “I’m going to say goodnight. I’m about to fall asleep on my feet.”
BUT AS TIRED as she’d felt downstairs, when she got to her room Kate was suddenly wide-awake. Fully dressed, she stretched out on the bed, her eyes fixed on the repeating pattern of the wallpaper. Tiny sprigs of white flowers against a yellow background. Her thoughts drifted back to Moruadh. At home, she would listen to Moruadh’s clear high voice as she drove. Haunting and ephemeral, the music weaving its spell as it conjured visions of mists and hills, yearning and heartache. Of sadness too unbearable to endure.
“And tell the world,” Moruadh sang. “That I died for love.”
After Kate’s article came out, Moruadh had called her a few times from Ireland and Paris. Usually in the early hours of the morning. For the most part, Moruadh talked while Kate listened. Inevitably, the topic turned to men and relationships and love. Moruadh fell in and out of love with a succession of men. Nothing lasted, and she would talk about the howling-in-the-wilderness bouts of loneliness that gripped her in the early hours. “Ah God, I could die of it,” Moruadh said once. “I’ve crawled into the beds of men who meant nothing at all, just to have someone’s arms around me.”
Her last call had been short and perfunctory. She was marrying a man by the name of Niall Maguire, she’d told Kate. No time to talk, but she would call again soon.
But she never had. Kate had read about Moruadh’s death in the obituary section of the Times. A small reference just a couple of paragraphs summing up Moruadh’s career. While walking along the cliffs near her home in Cragg’s Head, the article said, Moruadh Maguire had fallen some three hundred feet to her death. Ruling it an accident, the Gardai had blamed wind and rain and the unstable cliffs. Kate had thought about love and loneliness and had been unable to get Moruadh off her mind.
Restless now, she got up to examine the framed prints that hung on the walls. Sylphs and sprites in a field of bluebells. A gnome on a toadstool. More sprites and bluebells. Everything felt oddly unreal and slightly off-kilter, as though she’d been dropped into the middle of another world that bore a superficial resemblance to her own but functioned in a way she didn’t entirely understand. Unanswered questions. Confused directions and screwed-up road signs. The shadowy figure up on the cliffs. The young Garda in the car. The way the gray-eyed man had suddenly appeared out of the fog.
The sensation was similar to the way she felt after she’d taken her car to be washed at one of those full-service places. She’d get back in and find that everything—radio, seats, mirrors—had been slightly changed. Not enough that she couldn’t drive, but sufficient to send her neuroses into overdrive. Kind of the way she felt right now. Just a little thrown off. She yawned again and moved back to the bed. On the other hand, maybe she’d just overdosed on Celtic intrigue.
Through the closed door, she could hear the soft murmur of conversation from the sitting room below. Like a video, images of the evening ran through her head. The play of firelight on the faces around the room. The clink of flowered china teacups and saucers, the crackle of flames. Patrick dozing in his chair. The smells of baking and fresh flowers.
Annie bustling around. Smiling, urging food on everyone. Annie had a natural warmth—an openness that instantly turned strangers into friends. A quality Kate envied but couldn’t master herself. Probably because it required a certain willingness to let yourself be vulnerable. Her own defense mechanisms were too finely honed to allow that. Compared to Annie, she felt world-weary and a little jaded.
A fleeting childhood memory drifted across her consciousness. A night spent at a friend’s house. A girl with lots of brothers and sisters. The house was full of warmth and light and people laughing and talking. It had seemed perfect, like a page from a storybook. When she grew up, Kate had vowed, she would have a house just like it. Full of happy children. A smiling husband.
More memories, dim and fragmentary. Herself at ten, wakened from sleep by raised voices coming from downstairs. Her father’s voice, cold, dispassionate. No, he wouldn’t be back. He had fallen in love. A student in one of his classes. Her mother’s sobs.
A memory of walking home from school after her parents divorced. Looking through brightly lit windows of other houses. The little rituals she had developed that, if followed exactly, would make everything all right again. If she touched every mailbox on her street as she passed, her mother wouldn’t be crying when she walked in. If she skipped for four blocks, she would smell cookies baking when she opened the front door. If she held her breath for two minutes, her mother would be sober.
She got up, dug out a robe and toilet bag from her suitcase and walked down the hall to the bathroom. It was after her mother committed suicide that she’d pretty much stopped believing in magic. Or love.
TO CALL BUNCARROCH CASTLE gloomy, she decided the next morning, would be like calling Trump Tower upscale. She stood in the damp air, craning her neck to look up.
Niall Maguire’s ancestral home stood at the crest of a small hill, surrounded on three sides by the ocean. Massive and vaguely misshapen, it sprouted various architectural embellishments that she guessed had been added over the years. Battlements, gargoyles, wartlike turrets. One wing, jutting awkwardly like a broken limb, seemed in imminent danger of crashing into the ocean.
Niall Maguire was not home. Or at least he wasn’t answering the doorbell. She rang it again, glanced around the graveled circular driveway. No cars, but she wasn’t sure what that meant. Did castles have garages? Again she rang the doorbell and waited. After a few moments she walked back across the gravel, climbed onto Annie’s elderly Raleigh and pedaled down the hill again.
She would try later, she decided as she rode through a waste of rock-and-boulder-smattered heather into the village. Although Maguire had ignored her letters, which suggested he didn’t want to talk to her, he might be less inclined to turn her down if they actually met face-to-face. On the other hand, if he was as aloof and detached as Patrick and Rory had described him, maybe not.
She thought of what Hugh Fitzpatrick had told her about Maguire’s attractiveness to women. Objectivity was becoming difficult. Her tendency was always to root for the underdog, and Niall Maguire with his castle and money and fawning women appeared to be anything but.
As she passed Sullivan’s Butcher Shop, a man in a navy, striped apron sweeping the pavement looked up and waved.
“Fine day,” he called.
“Terrific,” Kate called back and caught her reflection in a shop window. Warm, if not particularly fetching, in her dark green parka and old black cords. An errant strand of hair had escaped from the black woolen cap she’d jammed on and it flew out behind her like a long red ribbon.
Earlier, at Annie’s insistence, she’d eaten an enormous breakfast of Irish bacon, eggs, tomatoes and soda bread slathered with butter. More calories than she ate at home in an entire week, but it was amazing what food and a decent night’s sleep did for the disposition. Last night Ireland had seemed strange and a little disconcerting. Today, in the glow of early-morning sunshine, all was well. A ride to burn off some of the calories and then a couple of interviews she’d scheduled. After that, she would try Niall Maguire again.
She pedaled through the village. Only a few of the brightly painted shops along the high street were open this early, but the area was already busy. Horns tooted, car doors slammed. From Claddagh Music came the trill of a flute, as pure and clear as birdsong. From Joyce’s Bakery, the aroma of warm bread rose to mingle with the peat smoke and the salty tang of the harbor.
It all seemed quite idyllic. Far removed from the police sirens and gang shootings and other staples of her daily life in Santa Monica. She rode past the small harbor where men in heavy jerseys and oilskin trousers were dragging a small boat onto the shingles. Then past the Connacht Superette and Kelly’s Garage.
A mile or so out of the village, the road narrowed and acrid farm smells filled the air. A light breeze moved the clouds overhead. Except for the faint sigh of the wind and the hum of her tires on the road, the silence all around her was absolute. It hovered in the air like a presence—a peaceful hush that made the whole countryside appear to be sleeping.
Back home in Santa Monica, Kate worked to the constant chatter of the all-news radio that played in her office. When she drove, it was to the accompaniment of the assorted tapes she carried in her car. When you live with noise around you, she’d heard a radio shrink say, it drowns out the knowledge that you’re alone.
Deep in thought, she heard a whoosh of air and a sharp squeal of brakes. The dark green Land Rover seemed to materialize from nowhere. She swerved wildly, slammed on the brakes and toppled over into a patch of grass. For a moment she just sat there, stunned, her nose filled with the smell of burned rubber. The car’s driver, a tall, dark-haired man, made his way over to where she sat.
“Are you all right?” He reached to help her up.
“I’m fine.” Ignoring his hand, Kate pulled herself to her feet and brushed grass from her pants. “No thanks to you. God, you could have killed me.” She glared up at him, but he towered over her by at least a foot, which meant that she had to crane her neck and squint into the sun to see his face, something that further incensed her. “Perhaps it never occurred to you that not everyone might be zipping along in a fancy car?”