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She’d done what she did best: run away from her pain and try to convince herself she was living her perfect life.
Right now her feet itched to scurry to the Land Cruiser. But not even a soul-crushing fear was strong enough to make her desert the dog. She would not inflict the pain of abandonment on another living being, even one of the four-legged variety.
She followed Ethan through the back door of the animal hospital and found him bent over Pita in one of the exam rooms. Lainey crouched near Pita’s face. “I’m right here, girl.”
Ethan straightened. “Steph’s getting the X-ray equipment warmed up. We need to figure out what’s causing the blockage. Surgery’s an option but a lot riskier. It would be easier if she could get it out on her own.”
“She poops like a goose,” Lainey murmured to herself.
“Hopefully,” Ethan said with a short laugh, “that will work in her favor.”
Lainey was too worried to be embarrassed by discussing her dog’s potty habits with her ex-fiancé.
Ethan lifted Pita again. “I’ll have her back to you in a few minutes.”
Lainey sank into the mud-colored vinyl chair that sat against one wall. She closed her eyes but refused to pray. There was a time when she’d spent days on end praying, holed up in her bedroom, her knees hugged in a fetal position. She’d offered prayers, promises, threats—anything so she wouldn’t lose the life growing inside her.
In the end, nothing had worked. Lainey had given up on prayer just like everything else.
The door creaked open. She stood, expecting Ethan and Pita. Stephanie Rand stepped into the room. “He’ll be a few minutes more,” she said. “I wanted to say hi.”
“Hey, Steph.” Lainey wondered for a moment if she would have recognized her old friend if she passed her on the street. “You look great.”
The other woman gave a bark of laughter and finger combed her high bangs. “You always were a bad liar, Lainey.” Steph smoothed a hand across the front of her purple scrubs. “I still have twenty pounds to go on my baby weight.”
“You have a baby?”
“Three boys. Although Joe Jr.’s eight and the twins turned six last month.”
Lainey’s eyes widened. “You married Joe Wilkens?” she asked, picturing Steph’s high school boyfriend. “Your last name …”
“He’s my ex.”
“Sorry.”
Stephanie smiled. “There you go again. You told me Joe was a no-good loser thirteen years ago. He split when the twins were eight months.”
“That’s awful.”
“He was a terrible daddy and a worse husband.” She flashed a rueful smile. “Too bad I never lost the hots for him. He looked at me and I got pregnant.” She slapped her hand against her mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean …”
“It’s okay,” Lainey said, surprised to find she meant it. She took a deep breath and said, “I’ve missed you, Steph.” She meant that, too, although she hadn’t realized it.
Tension seemed to ease from Steph’s shoulders. Her smile turned watery. “Me, too.”
“Maybe I could meet your boys sometime.”
“They’ll have you wrapped around their grubby fingers in five seconds flat,” Ethan commented as he walked through the open door. He’d changed into a pair of khaki pants and a navy polo shirt with the clinic’s name sewn above the pocket.
Stephanie gave him a playful slap on the shoulder. “Not everyone’s as big a sucker as Uncle Ethan.”
Uncle Ethan. He’d always loved kids, wanted enough for a football team he’d joked with her.
Wanted to try again.
Another layer of the pain she’d buried uncurled in her stomach.
“Lainey?”
She looked up. Ethan and Steph stared at her. “Where’s Pita?” she asked.
Ethan’s brows furrowed. “I just said she’s asleep in one of the kennels. She was a trooper for the X-rays.”
“Right.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “What did you find?”
He flipped a switch on the metal box hanging on the wall and it lit with an iridescent glow. “There’s definitely something in there.” He slid the X-ray into place. “I’m not sure … uh … what exactly …”
The two women stepped closer to the bright light.
“Oh, no …” Lainey gasped. She recognized the scalloped edges that were white within the dark area that must have been Pita’s stomach.
Steph whistled under her breath. “Wowee, Lain, I wouldn’t have pegged you for a thong girl.”
Within seconds Lainey’s cheeks were as hot as asphalt in the middle of August. “There’s no way …” She leaned in inches from the machine. “You can’t tell that’s a thong.”
“Lots of dogs are partial to skivvies.” Steph traced the tip of one short nail along the X-ray. “But even twisted like that, there’s not enough fabric for regular undies. The question is who are you shopping at Victoria’s Secret to impress?”
“Steph!” Lainey and Ethan shouted at once.
Embarrassed beyond belief, Lainey made herself focus on Pita. She hitched her chin and turned to Ethan. “The question is can you get them out? I’m not sure I could take it if this killed her.”
“Kinky,” Steph muttered.
“Stephanie!” Lainey and Ethan yelled again.
“I’m going to check on the patient,” Steph said.
“Good idea.” Ethan ran his hands through his hair.
“You’ve got about fifteen minutes until your first appointment.”
Ethan nodded and closed the door. He turned to Lainey, trying hard not to think about the unmistakable lace shining in the light of the X-ray machine. “I’m going to give her something that will soften her digestive track, move the object through.”
He prided himself on his emotional detachment from his patients, convinced the distance made him a more effective doctor. Maybe it was the fact that he’d gone without his morning caffeine fix. Or his body’s haywire reaction to Lainey. He felt punch-drunk with relief that her dog had a good chance at recovering.
“Can I take her home?”
“She needs to stay where we can monitor her. If there’s no progress by tonight, I’ll schedule her for surgery in the morning.”
Her eyes widened. “Surgery?”
“She can’t keep your panties … the obstruction needs to come out. It’s too dangerous otherwise.”
She nodded but looked down.
His insides coiled with frustration. He’d seen too much pain in her eyes—been the cause of most of it—to take any more. As much as he wanted to hate her, he couldn’t turn her away.
Steph opened the door. “Edith McIntire and Bubbles are waiting in Exam Two.”
Damn. “I’m coming.”
“Can I see her?” Lainey’s voice was barely a whisper.
“Of course. Leave your number with the front desk. I’ll call if anything changes.” He forced himself to turn away. “Steph, would you take her to the back?”
“You bet.”
As she moved past him, he grabbed Lainey’s arm. “I’ll take care of her.”
Her chin bobbed.
“She’s going to be okay,” he assured her. “I promise.”
She sucked in a breath and recoiled as if he’d slapped her. He realized his mistake, but it was too late to take back the words. The same words he’d whispered to her in a hospital ten summers ago.
Her eyes searched his. “You should have learned by now.” Her tone held no reproach, only sadness. “You shouldn’t make promises you don’t have the power to keep.”
She walked out, but her voice pounded like a sledgehammer inside his head. He’d promised her the baby—his child—would be fine. But nothing had gone right that summer. She’d lost the baby, he’d lost her and neither of them had ever been the same.
It took several minutes for his mind to clear enough to officially begin his morning. Even a full load of patients couldn’t stop thoughts of Lainey from consuming him. Her stiff shoulders and guarded expression, the sadness in her eyes.
Lainey had left him high and dry, and part of him wanted her punished for it, but he’d also shared in the blame. He’d known about her crush on him and should have never gotten involved with her in the first place. He could have spared them both a world of heartache by just leaving her alone.
The breakup with Julia had been a blow, more to his ego than his heart. They’d outgrown each other long before she’d dumped him. Still, his emotions had become numb, and being with Lainey made him feel so alive. Maybe he should have given her more, told her that he was falling in love with her, but every time he needed someone he ended up hurt.
His own mother had abandoned him and his dad when Ethan was just a kid. He remembered sitting on the bed as she packed her overstuffed suitcase. She’d told him it was better for all of them, but Ethan’s father had made it very clear that the blame lay completely on Ethan’s narrow shoulders.
He’d been shy, always staying close to his mom, who was the one person who made him feel safe. His boyish need had become too much for his free-spirited mother, his dad told him. She couldn’t handle being shackled in that way.
He figured that was why his relationship with Lainey had been so mind-blowing—he’d needed her with an intensity he hadn’t felt for years. And despite his trying to hide it, she’d felt it, and the weight of his love proved too much yet again.
He couldn’t rewrite the past, but if he could put aside his own pain and resentment and keep his need for her out of the equation—even for a few short weeks—he might have the chance to make amends for shattering both their lives.
Once and for all.
Downtown Brevia looked much the same as Lainey remembered. Redbrick buildings and Victorian-type storefronts with colorful awnings lined the main street. Instead of the pharmacy and family-owned furniture stores she knew growing up, signs for boutique-type clothing and craft retailers welcomed the overflow of tourists from the Smoky Mountains and nearby Asheville.
She wondered absently how many of these new merchants were locals or whether some of them were recent transplants to the small southern town. Hoping for the latter, she reached for the door of the local newspaper, The Brevia Times. Vera had wanted her to meet the reporter who’d been the media contact for previous adoption fairs, and as nervous as Lainey was about facing anyone in Brevia, she needed to keep herself occupied and her mind off Pita.
To her surprise, the man who leaned against the desk in the lobby was a familiar face. “Tim?” she asked with pleasure. “I didn’t know you worked here.”
“Hey there.” Tim Reynolds, one of her closest high school friends, stepped forward to hug her. He looked a lot like he had back then, shaggy blond hair and small wire-rimmed glasses. Smart and serious, that was Tim. “I’m the editor of this little paper now. I heard you were coming in today and wanted to make sure you got a warm welcome.”
Lainey released a nervous breath. “I thought you were in Atlanta.”
He shrugged. “Brevia may not be much of a news hotbed, but it’s hard to stay away.”
“Tell me about it,” Lainey agreed with a sharp laugh.
He didn’t let go of her arms. “How are you?”
She tried to shrug out of his grasp, pulling back sharply when he didn’t release her right away. “Okay, I guess.”
He adjusted his belt over the stomach that was a little large for his slight frame. “It’s so good you’re back.”
“I’m still shocked to be here, but it’s only for the summer.” She thought about Pita but decided against mentioning her worry over the dog. Tim knew Ethan well—they’d gone to the same university, and although Tim was Lainey’s age, his older brother had been Ethan’s best friend growing up.
Tim had been at the church on her wedding day. He’d been the one to find Lainey shaking uncontrollably at the back of the sanctuary as she went to leave Ethan the note explaining her decision to leave. Tim hadn’t seemed shocked and hadn’t tried to argue with her. He’d simply taken the letter with a promise to deliver it and assurance that everything would be all right.
He’d been wrong, but Lainey was still grateful for his unconditional support. Now she appreciated that although he’d been a friend of Ethan’s, she saw no judgment in his gaze.
“If you need anything while you’re in town, just let me know.” He stared at her so intently, Lainey had to look away. “In fact, I’m going to take over coverage of the adoption fair this year.”
“Are you sure?” Lainey figured that should make her happy, but instead her stomach flipped uneasily. “Don’t you have more important things to do?”
“Nothing is more important than you,” he answered.
“Oh.” Lainey gave herself a mental shake. She’d been worried about the anger she’d encounter but now was uncomfortable at Tim’s friendliness. “I mean, thank you.” She took a small step back and patted her large tote. “I brought this year’s press kit. Should we take a look?”
He studied her another long moment then nodded. “We’ll make a great team, Lainey,” he said, gesturing down a long hall. “This way to my office.”
Chapter Four
“You wear a thong? Really?”
Lainey leveled a look at her sister. “One—why is that so hard to believe? And two—it’s not really the point of the story.”
“I know, I know.” Julia held up her hands. “I just figured you more the granny panty type.”
Lainey didn’t answer, unwilling to own up to how right Julia was. About ninety-five percent of the items in her lingerie drawer—if you could call it that—were of the basic cotton variety. Her work schedule didn’t leave time for dating. At least that’s what she told herself. It was easier than admitting the truth.
She’d dated a few guys casually between assignments in her early twenties. But something had changed. As her friends had begun to marry and start families, she’d drifted away from them.
Her biological clock should have stopped ticking since she couldn’t have children. Since that hadn’t happened, she’d taken far-flung assignments, spending more time on the road. It had been great for her career and much easier than watching the people around her build lives she could never have.
Her gaze settled on Julia’s round belly. “So where is Jeff?” she asked, changing the subject away from her underpants. It was odd to see Julia back in their hometown but stranger still that she was so pregnant and here alone.
With some effort, Julia hoisted herself out of the chair and paced the length of their mother’s small hospital room.
Vera had been taken to one of several daily physical therapy appointments. The doctor would come in after this latest round to discuss her rehabilitation in more detail.
“He’s in South America,” Julia finally answered. She stood at the window looking out at the hospital’s courtyard, her long fingers massaging either side of her lower back. “He had research to do, and we didn’t think it was good to spend the whole pregnancy in the mountains of Brazil. He’ll be back before my due date.”
“But you won’t want to settle in Brevia with Jeff’s job at the university. Why aren’t you at Mom’s? Is it because I was coming home?”
Julia shook her head. “I needed my own space. Mom gets a little overbearing, you know? I’m renting an apartment near downtown. Just temporary, of course.”
“That makes sense,” Lainey agreed, although something in Julia’s tone made her wonder if she was getting the whole story.
“There was nothing keeping me in Columbus with him gone,” Julia continued. “I can cut hair anywhere.”
“You still work? I thought—”
“A couple hours a week. My blood pressure skyrockets if I stand any longer. Val says I can come back after the baby’s born.” Julia shrugged. “But who knows where Jeff and I will be by then.”
Lainey’s mouth dropped open. She clamped it shut before Julia turned around. “You’re working at The Hair House?”
Julia glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “It’s almost as hard to believe as you in a thong.”
“I didn’t mean …” Lainey’s voice trailed off. Val Dupree had owned “The Best Little Hair House in Brevia” since they were kids. She couldn’t picture Julia at Val’s any more than she could see her sister in Brevia for the long haul.
She took a deep breath. Julia had only been in New York six months before returning to Brevia that summer. She’d wanted Ethan back, but Lainey had already been pregnant. Julia was so angry she’d left town again as soon as Ethan had offered to marry Lainey.
Lainey didn’t know if she had the power to fix all the broken pieces in her relationship with her sister. Since she was here for the better part of the summer, she’d give it her best shot. “Val probably realized how lucky she is to have you,” she offered, although it sounded weak to her ears.
“Why?” Julia countered. “Because most of her girls think Marie Osmond is the epitome of high style?”
“Among other reasons.”
Julia walked to the chair. “Don’t blow sunshine,” she said with an eye roll. “You got out and I was sucked back in. Mom’s already given me the ‘you should have stayed in college’ lecture. I messed up. Bad.”
The ability to disappoint Vera—at least they now had that in common. Lainey felt a twinge of sympathy, an emotion she’d never associated with Julia. “You had some decent modeling jobs at first. Maybe if you’d had more time …”
“Being voted ‘prettiest girl’ in your country-bumpkin senior class doesn’t count in New York.”
Lainey shrugged. “All the ‘nicest girl’ award got me was the assumption that I’d say yes to anyone who wanted to cheat off me. I should’ve been voted class doormat. I was always jealous of you in high school. You were popular, prom queen and had the football captain for your boyfriend.”
“Until my little sister stole him away. Nice girl. Yeah, right.” Julia laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I wish the voters could’ve seen that move.”
“You’d broken up with him,” Lainey said through clenched teeth, bristling at the decade-old accusation. Guilt was one thing, but Lainey only let things go as far as they had with Ethan because she thought Julia had moved on.
“We were on a break,” Julia fired back.
“Give me a break. You ditched him for the big-city modeling agent. Chewed up his heart, spit it out then ground your heel in it for good measure.” The idea that Lainey could have stolen Ethan from her sister was ridiculous. “I was there, remember?”
Julia leaned forward. “I remember. And you’re right. Ethan and I were over long before you were in the picture. Still, you did the chewing, spitting and grinding.”
“No,” Lainey whispered, finally ready to admit the truth. “That was my problem. After you left there wasn’t enough of his heart for me to hold on to.”
Julia inhaled sharply. “Are you joking?” she began. “Do you know how long he waited—”
The door banged open, interrupting her. Vera’s wheelchair rolled into the room, pushed by a strapping physical therapist who looked like he’d just left a biker bar. His bald head glimmered in the fluorescent light, the lines around his eyes etched deep as a dried riverbed as he watched Vera, his gaze filled with rapt adoration.
Even pushing sixty and ravaged by the stroke, Vera radiated energy like light from the mother ship to the opposite sex.
Vera glanced between Lainey and Julia. “Can hear you down hall.” She spoke slowly to make her pronunciation clear.
“Sorry, Mom,” both women chorused.
“Fighting no good. I need you to help.” She took a breath, but the next words she spoke were so garbled Lainey couldn’t understand them.
“Don’t push yourself,” the physical therapist said as he helped Vera back into bed.
He turned, flexing a skull tattoo in Lainey’s direction. “Your mom made good progress this morning. Her left leg is about seventy-five percent of its normal strength.”
“Stupid right leg,” Vera mumbled.
“It’ll come,” the burly man said with surprising softness as he tucked a quilt around her. “Rest now. You earned it.”
Vera smiled at him and Lainey saw color creep up his neck. Her mother could wrap any man around her finger.
Lainey noticed a bright sheen of perspiration across her mother’s forehead. Vera used every ounce of strength to get better while Lainey bickered with Julia over ancient history. She was here to help, Lainey reminded herself, not stumble down the rocky path to bad memory lane.
She stepped closer and lifted Vera’s fingers. She looked at Julia. “I guess we should stick to discussing the adoption event,” she whispered.
“And current local gossip,” Julia added. “The kind that doesn’t involve our family.”
Lainey choked out a laugh at that.
Vera squeezed Lainey’s hand. Her eyes fluttered open. “More like it,” she said and snuggled deeper against the pillows.
Lainey smiled, impressed but not surprised that even in her condition, Vera Morgan could bend her daughters to her will with a few chosen words. She’d honed that skill for years.
“Heard about your dog?” Vera asked, her eyes concerned.
“Nothing yet.”
“Ethan is best. He’ll do good.”
Lainey nodded. She thought about the care Ethan had given Pita and the tenderness he’d shown to her. A slow ache built in her heart. “I stopped by the shelter office after I left the clinic.” She needed to regain control.
“You get the box?”
Lainey pointed to a large plastic storage tub in the corner of the room. “Rest for a bit, Mom. Then we’ll go through it.”
Julia patted Vera’s leg. “I need to go.”
Vera’s left hand clamped around Julia’s wrist. “You stay.”
Her tone brooked no argument, although Julia gave it her best shot.
“I need to check in with Val, see if I can pick up some hours if my doctor approves.”
Vera’s hold didn’t loosen. “Later.”
“Fine.” Vera let go of Julia’s hand as she stood. “I need to pee first. It feels like this kid has his heel shoved against my bladder.”
Lainey blew out a short breath as Julia closed the bathroom door. She felt her mother’s eyes on her. “This doesn’t change anything.”
“You good girl,” Vera said, reaching out to her.
Lainey pushed up from the bed. “I don’t know what you expect, but me being here isn’t going to make the past go away. I can do my penance this summer, but I can’t change what happened. What I did.” She couldn’t change who she was, how the tragedy had changed her. Forever.
“Good girl,” Vera repeated.
Her mother used the same tone Lainey did with Pita. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “We’ll go through the plans while you rest,” she said, but her mother’s eyes had already slipped closed.
Lainey smoothed the quilt again and turned for the big box in the corner.
Work on the adoption event kept Lainey occupied the rest of the day. Julia had stayed at the hospital until lunchtime, the two sisters careful not to let the topic stray from animals needing a home.
The call came in around four o’clock. Her hands shook as she stared at the clinic’s number on her cell phone.
“Answer it,” her mother said.
She brought the phone to her ear, expecting Ethan’s voice.
“Lainey?” Stephanie Rand said. “She’s okay.”
A strangled sob escaped her lips. “Oh, thank God.”
Steph continued, “I don’t think you want your undies back, but at least they’re out.”
“Can I come get her?” Lainey spoke around the lump of tears knotting at the back of her throat.
“We’d like to keep her overnight, just to make sure she’s back to normal. You can pick her up first thing in the morning.”
Lainey made a squeaky sound she hoped passed for a ‘yes’ and hung up.
She looked at her mother. The deep understanding in Vera’s gaze almost sent her over the edge.
“Underpants,” she mumbled, her voice wobbly. “How dumb.” Stupid to make everything so personal.
“Go home.”
“I’m fine.”
“Home,” her mother said again, pointing at the door.
Lainey knew she should argue, insist on staying, but fatigue settled over her. She leaned in and kissed her mother’s cheek. “I’ll be back in the morning.” She traced the corner of Vera’s lopsided mouth.