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Kelly told herself that if he hadn’t been open to wanting his child, he wouldn’t have felt anything while the baby was in his arms, but she wasn’t sure she believed that. Was she doing the right thing? Could Tanner Malone handle having a baby in his life? Unfortunately, based on his stunned expression, he no longer had a choice in the matter.
He looked at Kelly, his eyes dark with panic. “I want to keep her. Is that wrong?”
“She’s your daughter, Tanner. How can you wanting to raise her be wrong?”
“I can give you about three dozen reasons, starting with the fact that I know less than zero about babies. Then there’s the issue of my twenty hour days.”
“You’ll make it work. Millions of single parents do every day.”
He didn’t look convinced. “Maybe. So what happens now?”
“Now I notify the hospital that Baby Ames won’t be given up for adoption and that her name should be changed to Baby Malone.”
Tanner smiled that devastating smile again. Fortunately for Kelly’s equilibrium, it was focused on his daughter, not at her. “Did you hear that? You’re my little girl and everyone is going to know it. You’re Baby Malone.”
“You might want to think about getting her a first name,” Kelly said dryly. “She’s going to find Baby Malone a little difficult when she gets to school.”
He nodded. “You’re right. So what happens after you tell the hospital?”
“You’re going to have to talk to the adoption agency and tell them you’ve changed your mind. Legally, it’s not a problem. If you haven’t signed the papers, they can’t make you give up your daughter. However, you’re still going to need a good lawyer. You’ll have to make custody arrangements with Lucy. I’m guessing that if she was willing to give the baby up for adoption she won’t want visitation rights, but you’ll have to check. There’s also the issue of support.” She frowned. “There might be more, but a good family lawyer can answer those questions better than I can.”
“Too much to think about,” he said quietly, still looking at his daughter. “I don’t want anything from Lucy. If she wants to walk away from her daughter, then that’s fine with me. I don’t need her money.”
“You’ll have to work that out with her. She’s still in the hospital if you want to talk with her.”
He glanced up. “She can have visitors?”
“Of course. It was giving birth, not brain surgery. She probably feels like she was run over by a truck, but she’s healthy and in great shape. She’ll recover quickly. Both she and the baby will be released tomorrow.” She hesitated and wondered if Tanner had any clue what he was getting into. “I can ask that your daughter be kept here until the afternoon. That should give you time to arrange things.”
“What kind of things?”
Kelly drew in a deep breath. It was worse than she thought. “Tanner, have you ever been around a newborn before?”
“No, like I said, I avoided my brother’s kids until they were past the breakable stage.”
“I see.” She wasn’t sure how to break the news to him. “Your life is about to change in a big way. You’ll need baby furniture, clothes, formula, diapers, not to mention a couple of good books on dealing with an infant. You’re going to have to arrange for child care at home for at least the first couple of weeks. While most day care places will take a newborn at six weeks, you don’t want her exposed to a lot of children right now. Young kids have frequent colds, and that’s not good news for an infant.”
He took a step back, then another. She saw his muscles tighten, although his hold on the baby stayed relaxed and supportive. “You’re saying I don’t have a prayer of making this work.”
She stared at him, at the too handsome face and the worry in his eyes. She could practically hear the thoughts racing through his mind at light speed.
“Not at all. I’m not trying to scare you, but I do want to point out that this is a little more complicated than making a home for a puppy.”
He swore under his breath, then paced to the glass wall in the alcove of the nursery. Kelly ached for his pain and confusion. He had to be scared to death, but she sensed he wasn’t going to change his mind about his daughter. Despite her initial dislike of him, she had to respect that. Fifteen years ago, she’d had to make the same choice and in the end, she’d given her daughter away. It had been the hardest thing she’d ever done.
She respected Tanner for wanting to try. Unfortunately, he had several strikes against him. The most significant were a complete lack of knowledge and preparation, and his impossible work schedule. If he had an office job, it might not be too hard to schedule at least a couple of weeks off. But Tanner was the general contractor for the hospital’s hundred-million dollar renovation. For reasons that had nothing to do with him, the project was behind schedule. When was he supposed to find the time to take care of his daughter?
“I can help,” she blurted out impulsively, then wondered where on earth that thought had come from.
He turned and looked at her. “What do you mean?”
“Just what I said.” She glanced at her watch. “Meet me back here at six tonight. It’s Friday, so the stores are open late. I’ll take you to a baby store, then help you set everything up for her. I’m on call this weekend, but assuming no one gives birth, I can even be around to give you pointers those first few terrifying hours when you bring her home.”
His thick black hair fell across his forehead in a way designed to make women desperate to push the lock back in place. Kelly was no exception. She found she had to clutch her hands together to keep from doing just that.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked.
She understood the real question. Why was she going out of her way to help a stranger—someone of whom she didn’t much approve. Except by being willing to take his daughter, Tanner had forced her to look at him in a new way.
“Because I think you’ll be a great dad, and I want her to have that.”
Relief settled over him, easing away his tension. “Thanks, doc. I really appreciate it. I know that she’s going to need a ton of stuff, but I don’t have a clue where to start.”
“Please, call me Kelly. And as for the baby—figuring out what to do with her can’t be harder than building a hospital wing.”
He grinned. “Want to bet?”
“Why don’t we just wait three weeks, and you can tell me yourself.”
Tanner paused outside the hospital room and thought about what he wanted to say. He knew that Lucy wasn’t going to be happy with his change of heart, but there was nothing he could do about that. He had as much right to their baby as she did. A quick call to the family lawyer his business lawyer had recommended had confirmed that.
He squared his shoulders and stepped into the room. “Hi,” he said when he saw Lucy sitting up in bed.
She glanced at him for a second, gave a quick, insincere smile, then pushed the mute button on the remote and silenced the television she’d been watching.
“Tanner. I didn’t expect to see you,” she said, her voice flat with lack of enthusiasm. “If you’re here to check up on me, I promise I’m fine. The delivery wasn’t much fun, but my doctor is great. She said everything went as expected. I’ll be leaving first thing in the morning. In a few weeks I’ll be good as new.”
“I’m glad you’re all right.”
He shifted uneasily and pushed his hands into his jeans pockets. He stood about five feet from the bed. The blinds were open, allowing afternoon light to spill into the room and he could see her clearly. The ordeal of giving birth had left her pale, but still beautiful. Her long, silky platinum blond hair had been pulled back into a simple braid. The high cheek bones, perfect mouth and wide green eyes were as lovely as when he’d first met her. But during their brief time together, he’d learned that she had no heart.
He couldn’t help wondering what he’d seen in her all those months ago. He remembered that they’d met at a Fourth of July picnic, and that too many beers had caused them to end up in bed together. He’d thought he was old enough to ignore the appeal of a pretty face, but he’d been wrong. Or maybe he’d just been lonely. None of that mattered now. Whatever had first drawn them together had faded and by the end of the weekend they were both content to part company. Until Lucy had called a couple of months later to say she was pregnant.
She pursed her lips together. “Tanner, you’re just staring at me. You’re not going to get all weird because of the baby are you?”
“Yes, but not in the way you mean.”
Her gaze narrowed. Suddenly features that had been beautiful were now merely pinched. “We’ve been over this before. What exactly do you want from me? I told you I was pregnant because I thought it was the right thing to do. If I’d known you were going to talk me out of having an abortion, I wouldn’t have said a word. I did as you requested—I had the kid. Now I’m giving it up for adoption. The papers are signed. I’m not going to change my mind.”
“I am,” he said quietly.
She blinked at him. “What?”
“I haven’t signed the papers, and I’m not going to. I want to keep the baby.”
“Dammit, Tanner. What the hell are you thinking? If you have some fantasy about a cozy family with me playing mommy, you can just forget it.”
“I don’t,” he told her. “This isn’t about you. As far as you’re concerned, nothing has to change. I’m going to have a lawyer draw up some papers. Basically you walk away from the kid and I keep her. You don’t ask to see her and I don’t ask for support. It’s just like the adoption, only I’m going to be the one taking her.”
She brushed at her smooth bangs. Her nails were long and painted a dark shade of pink. “Why don’t I believe you?”
“I don’t know. I’m telling the truth.”
She stared at him for a long time. Tanner held his breath. He knew that Lucy couldn’t stop him from keeping his daughter, but she could make things more complicated. Adoption, from her point of view, was much more tidy than the father of her child wanting to muscle in on the action.
“This isn’t about you,” he said. “It’s about me. I don’t want anything from you, except for you to sign the papers.”
She continued to study him. “And if I don’t, you’ll haul me into court,” she said, her voice resigned. “After all, I’ve already agreed to adoption, so I’ve indicated that I have no interest in my child.”
“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I didn’t discuss that with my lawyer.”
The bed had been raised so that she could sit upright but still lean against the pillows. Now she lowered the bed a few inches and closed her eyes.
“I have a great job waiting for me in L.A. I’m going to work for an agency that handles really high-powered actors, directors and producers. I’m going to be meeting these clients and entertaining them. This is my chance to move in those kind of circles.” She opened her eyes and stared at him. “It’s what I’ve always wanted. I’m beautiful enough that I’ll attract the eye of some mogul type and we’ll get married. I don’t care if it lasts, I just want to get my foot in the door. Once I’m there, I’ll make a place for myself.” She sighed. “Children have never been a part of my plan. I don’t want them. I don’t want ours.”
Her flat statement shouldn’t have surprised him, but it did. He wanted to rage at her, to tell her that he’d just held the most beautiful, perfect creature in the world. How could she walk away from their tiny baby? But he didn’t say a word. For one thing, Lucy wasn’t going to change her mind. For another, selfishly, he wanted her gone. Lucy was many things, but maternal wasn’t one of them. In this case, their daughter would be better off without her mother around to mess with her head.
“None of your plans are going to change,” he said. “All I’m asking is that you sign the papers allowing me sole custody of the baby.”
“Do you really think you can do this? Raise a kid on your own? What do you know about babies?”
“Less than nothing,” he admitted. “But I’m willing to learn. I can’t let her go, Lucy. I know that doesn’t make sense to you, but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
Her expression turned wistful. “You’re a fool, Tanner Malone, but you’ve got a big heart. I guess that’s a start.”
“I can’t regret her.”
Lucy turned away. “I can. I guess that’s the difference.” She waved her left hand toward the door. “You know where I live. Have your lawyer draw up the papers and get them to me before the fifteenth. That’s when I’m leaving for Los Angeles.” She looked back at him. “I don’t want this kid showing up in my life in twenty years. Tell him that.”
“It’s a her.”
“Whatever.”
He nodded once. There were so many things he could have said, but why bother? He’d gotten what he’d been after. Maybe one day he would understand how someone who was so beautiful and perfect on the outside could be so incredibly ugly on the inside.
“Thanks, Lucy. My lawyer will be in touch.” He turned to leave.
“Tanner?”
He paused and glanced back at her.
She flashed him her best smile, the one that had first made him saunter across the picnic area to engage her in conversation. This time all he could think of was that he couldn’t wait for her to be out of his life forever.
“Thanks for the flowers.”
He’d sent her a dozen roses when he’d found out she’d had the baby. He stared at the bright yellow buds, still tightly curled as if afraid to open and show themselves to the world. They were as coldly beautiful as she.
“You’re welcome,” he said and walked out of her room. If all went well, he would never see her again. He prayed that’s what would happen.
He walked down the hallway, not really aware of his surroundings. He replayed his first meeting with Lucy a couple of times and knew that while their relationship had been a short-lived mistake, the ramifications were about to change his life forever. Because of his incredibly poor taste in women, he was about to become a father. A smile tugged at his lips. Not a bad trade.
He stopped and glanced around, then realized that he’d instinctively made his way back to the nursery. His gaze drifted over the sleeping babies, before stopping on one in particular. He already recognized that precious face. His daughter.
Panic flared in him again, along with apprehension and about fifteen other forms of “Oh, God, can I really do this?” But none of them were as strong as the sense of rightness in his heart. Maybe he was making a big mistake. Maybe he couldn’t do it, but he was determined to give it all he had. They would just have to learn this whole parent-kid thing together. She was his daughter and he would die to protect her.
“Boss?”
He looked up and saw a bulldog of man standing next to him. An unlit cigar poked out from puffy lips, while eyebrows drew together in a permanently worried frown.
“What is it, Angel?” he asked.
Angel was one of three foremen in charge of the new wing. Angel’s particular responsibility was coordinating the materials needed for construction.
“Toilets,” Angel said glumly. He wasn’t a real happy guy at the best of times. “They’re wrong. We ordered fifty-six toilets and what did they send? Bidets. You know, those weird shaped things to wash your butt after—”
Tanner choked back a laugh. “I know what a bidet is. Did you call the supplier?”
“Sure, but they’re squawking about how long it’s gonna take to get new ones. Then there’s the light bulb problem.”
Tanner started walking toward the elevator. They had to go down to the ground floor to find their way into the construction area. Angel moved with him.
“You’d think these bozos had never heard of a light bulb before. And you won’t believe what they sent me instead.”
Tanner’s brain quickly focused on the problems at hand. After he’d dealt with Angel, he needed to get an update from his other foremen, then make a quick tour of the work completed in the past couple of days. After that, he had reports and a meeting with his bookkeeper about who had been paid what. Then he was meeting Kelly Hall at six. Hell, it was never going to get done.
But instead of being discouraged, he found himself continuing to smile. Because it wasn’t every day that a man became a father.
Kelly tapped her pen impatiently against her desk. Be there, she willed silently, waiting for her friend to pick up the phone. While she waited, she glanced up at the clock. Her afternoon appointments started in ten minutes, which meant if Ronni didn’t pick up soon, they weren’t going to be able to talk until that evening. Kelly figured she disrupted her patients’ lives enough by having to cancel without warning if there was a baby to deliver, that the least she could do was be on time when she was in the office.
“Dr. Powers,” a familiar voice said crisply.
Kelly sighed in relief. “It’s Kelly and I did a really stupid thing.”
Ronni Powers, a pediatrician and close friend for the past three years, laughed. “No way your stupid thing can top my stupid thing. I had sex without a condom and got pregnant. Now how are you going to beat that?”
Kelly smiled. “Don’t give me that. You’re thrilled about the baby.”
“Thrilled, but still in shock. Besides, I’m supposed to be a responsible adult. No one is going to believe me if I don’t act like one.”
“You do, most of the time.” She paused and tried to figure out the best way to ask her question. “I need you to tell me if Tanner Malone is a good man.”
“That’s your stupid thing?”
“Sort of. Did you know about his baby?”
“Sure,” Ronni said. “Ryan told me. Tanner was involved with some woman over the summer. The relationship didn’t work out but she ended up pregnant. She was due any time now, wasn’t she?”
“She had the baby today,” Kelly said.
“I didn’t know that. Well, as I understand it, both she and Tanner had agreed to give up the child for adoption. Is there a problem?”
“That depends on whether or not Tanner is a decent guy. He changed his mind. He’s keeping his daughter.”
This time Ronni was the one who got quiet. Kelly pictured her green eyes widening with shock as her mouth dropped open.
“Tanner’s keeping the baby?”
“That’s the plan. As far as I know Lucy will still be giving her up, so Tanner’s going to have sole custody. Do you think he can manage?” Kelly rubbed her temple. “I feel a little responsible. I’m the one who dragged him to the nursery so he could hold her. You know what it’s like to cradle a newborn.”
“Pretty amazing,” Ronni agreed. “I’m stunned by the news. Fortunately, Tanner seems to be a great guy. He’s wonderful with Ryan’s kids, but being an uncle is very different than being a father.”
“That’s what I think,” Kelly agreed. “I know that there are a lot of single parents, but most of them have some kind of warning. Tanner made his decision today and the baby goes home tomorrow. Not much time to prepare.”
“You’re right,” Ronni said. “He can’t even take a couple of weeks off because of the construction project at the hospital. He’s been working too many hours as it is, just to get things caught up. What was he thinking?”
“So you think I was wrong to encourage him?”
“Not for a minute,” Ronni told her. “All this stuff is just logistics, Kelly. How can it be wrong for a man to love his child? And don’t give me any lines about mothers being more nurturing. I don’t believe that and I don’t think you do, either.”
“No, I don’t.” How could she? Her mother had died shortly after she’d been born and her father had raised her on his own. In her opinion, he’d done a wonderful job. She couldn’t imagine a parent being more supportive or caring.
“So it’s just a matter of getting Tanner up to speed,” Ronni said. Kelly heard her flipping pages in her date book, then her friend continued. “I’m free tomorrow. I’ll check with Ryan and see if we can go over and help him. Maybe a couple of lessons with a doll will prepare him for that first diaper change.”
The thought of Tanner Malone bent over staring at the contents of a newborn’s diaper made Kelly smile. “He’s not going to like that part at all.”
“Few people do.”
Kelly cleared her throat. “Yes, well, I’m going to help out, too. I figure it’s the least I could do after getting him in this mess.”
“You’re not the one who had the baby.”
Kelly could feel her cheeks getting hot, which was silly. She pressed the back of her free hand against her skin. “I know, but, well, anyway, I’m meeting him tonight. We’re going to a baby store and I’m going to help him pick out furniture. I also thought I’d take him one of those books on what happens during the first year.”
“Dr. Hall, do you sound flustered?”
“Of course not. I’m just watching the clock. I have patients in a couple of minutes.”
“I think not. I think you are, in fact, interested in Tanner.”
“You’re crazy. I’m helping out a friend.”
“Oh. When did you two become friends?”
Kelly glared at the phone. “Fine. I’m helping a fellow human being in need.”
“You’re hiding the truth, maybe even from yourself. I think you think he’s hot.”
“I’m concerned about a new father taking care of a child when he’s had no preparation or experience. My thoughts are for the baby, not Tanner.”
Ronni sighed. “All right. Have it your way, but you’re missing out. I have to tell you, there’s something pretty wonderful about those Malone brothers.”
Kelly smiled. Ronni was marrying Ryan Malone at the end of the month. “I think you’ve been influenced by your relationship with Ryan.”
“Maybe, but only in the best way possible. Besides, would it kill you to be interested in a man? You’ve been living like a nun for the past three years.”
“Sure. I always take relationship advice from a woman in the middle of an unplanned pregnancy.”
Ronni laughed. “Oh, thanks. Throw that in my face. But think about what I said. It would be very sad for you to ignore this opportunity.”
“Say good-bye, Ronni.”
“Bye.”
Kelly was still smiling when she hung up the phone. She collected her charts and made her way out of her office, all the while ignoring the little voice that whispered Ronni might be on to something after all.
Chapter Three
Kelly glanced at her watch. Four minutes after six. Not bad, considering she’d stopped at a local bookstore to pick up something for Tanner. She pushed through the swinging doors that separated the hospital from the new wing still under construction. From there, she passed through an alcove and hanging sheets of plastic, then found herself in the middle of a beehive.
Despite the fact that for much of the city the workday had ended, dozens of construction personnel labored on. She could see the framing that in time would be the new pediatric floor. To her right was the lab set-up, still little more than an outline of a room. The only remotely finished section of the first floor was the new daycare center, probably because it would be opening first.
She turned right. Tanner had left her a voice mail that afternoon telling her that she could find him in his office, which was in what would eventually be the new lab. As she crossed the plywood floor, she saw a big sign warning that this was a hard hat area, then saw a stack of the yellow construction headgear on a table below the banner.
Kelly picked one up and plopped it on her head, all the while trying not to think about the last dozen or so people who had done the same. Then she made her way in the general direction of Tanner’s office.
It wasn’t hard to find. Signs spray-painted directly onto the unfinished walls pointed the way to various locations on the construction site. “Boss-man’s office” was marked in red with a ten foot long arrow. She followed it to the end and found herself entering a medium sized room with a desk, several chairs and building plans covering most of the walls.
Tanner sat behind the desk, staring at lists and making notes. The overhead lighting was harsh but he still looked as handsome as she remembered. His brother, Ryan, was also a good-looking guy. Talk about a great gene pool. Between her father’s roguish appeal and her mother’s model-perfect beauty, Baby Ames—make that Baby Malone—was going to be a looker herself.