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Mr. Johansen gave a weary sigh. “Will you please step outside so that the board may talk privately?”
She nodded and stepped down from the platform. The rustle of her skirts was the only sound that filled the room until she stepped outside and closed the double doors behind her. Only then did she hear the muffled sound of men’s voice rise inside. She stared at the schoolhouse door. That had not gone at all the way she’d planned. She’d practically given up. What was wrong with her?
“Miss McKenna?”
Startled, she spun toward the deep voice. A steadying hand stilled her forward momentum in time to keep her from tumbling down the schoolhouse steps. Words of gratefulness stalled on her lips as she glanced up to the stranger who’d lunged up the stairs to catch her. Her gaze slid from the chiseled angles of his jaw to the thick golden-brown curls of his close-cropped hair before settling on his vibrant blue eyes. Everything else went blurry as a strange weakness filled her knees. He steadied her once more. She shook her head, blinked and refocused. “Mr. Tucker?”
He didn’t release his hold on her arm but stepped closer, his brow lowered in concern. “I’m real sorry, Miss McKenna. I sure didn’t mean to scare you like that. You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”
“I’m fine.” She eased back slightly as she allowed her gaze to trace his features again. “You look...nice.”
A sheepish grin flashed across his lips, carving a shallow set of dimples into his cheeks. “Thank you. My own kin didn’t recognize me when they saw me like this, so I reckon you were right and I was overdue for a shave and a haircut. I picked up some new duds, too, but that isn’t important right now. What’s going on in there?”
“In where?”
He pointed to the sign hanging from the doorknob that read Private Meeting. “In the schoolhouse.”
Land sakes! How could she have forgotten about that? A sinking sensation filled her stomach so she sank along with it to sit on the top step. She rested her chin in her hand with a heavy sigh. “It’s possible that I might be getting fired.”
“Fired?” Quinn frowned at the door then sat one step below her. “Why would they want to fire you?”
“Apparently there are several reasons.”
“But you’re a great teacher.”
She gave a short laugh. “You still say that after your nephew went home with a black eye last week?”
His eyes narrowed. “Is that what this is about? I’ll go tell them it wasn’t your fault.”
He moved to stand but she placed a stilling hand on his shoulder then lowered her gaze to avoid his questioning look. “No. Don’t. Perhaps it’s for the best.”
“The best?” He stared at her then shook his head. “Why? Don’t you want to teach?”
She shrugged as the vague feeling of discontent she’d been ignoring welled up inside of her. “I certainly enjoy it. However, to be honest, it isn’t really what I want to do.”
He frowned. “Then what do you want to do?”
I want to have a family with a husband and children of my own. She sighed and leaned back against the stair railing thinking about how foolish she’d been. Of course, teaching school wasn’t anything like having children of her own. She’d been reminded of that at the end of each day when the students all rushed out the door, leaving her behind.
“Helen?” Quinn’s use of her Christian name for the first time drew her full attention. “Do you mind if I call you that?”
Surprised, she offered a quizzical smile. “I suppose you might as well. Many of the other students’ parents do.”
“I need to talk to you. I know this probably isn’t the right time, but I can’t hold it in much longer.”
“This sounds serious.” She crossed her arms on top of her knees and nodded. “Go ahead and tell me. We may have a few moments before they call me back in.”
He sent a speculative look toward the door. “My eldest nephew and niece are always going on about you and I’ve noticed that you seem to care a whole lot about them, too. That’s true, isn’t it?”
“It certainly is.”
“Well, I’m doing my best for them but anyone can tell that isn’t good enough.” He waved away her protests. “Now, that’s just the plain truth and you know it. The fact is that they need a mother.”
She stared at him, wondering where this conversation was going as he unfolded a piece of paper she hadn’t realized he was holding. He handed it to her. She didn’t bother to look at it. She couldn’t have if she’d tried for his gaze held hers captive with its intensity. “I prayed for a helpmeet and God sent me the Bachelor List. It says you’re my match. I was wondering if you’d be willing to marry me—for the children’s sake.”
Her gaze finally dropped to the paper unseeingly as she tried to make sense of what he’d just said. “Will you repeat that please?”
His hand covered hers. “You’re my match. My nieces and nephews need you. I need you. Will you please marry me?”
The schoolhouse door opened startling them both as Mr. Eldridge stepped outside. “We have reached a decision, Miss McKenna. Please, come in.”
Quinn helped her stand murmuring, “I’ll wait here.”
She gave him a brief nod then stepped inside. The grim faces of the school board members spelled out her not-so-surprising fate. She glanced down at the paper she held. Her attention caught on the sight of her name printed as clear as day next to the name of the man who was waiting for an answer to his proposal.
“Miss McKenna,” Mr. Etheridge began in a cadence that seemed unnaturally slow juxtaposed by her racing thoughts. “On behalf of the school board and the citizens of Peppin—”
Quinn was offering her exactly what she’d always wanted. Well, not exactly—but the closest she was likely to get to the marriage and children she longed for.
“—I would like to thank you for the kindness, energy and time you have devoted to the children of this community.”
Quinn hadn’t mentioned love in his proposal. Of course, she could hardly expect him to since they barely knew each other. Who was to say that it wouldn’t turn into love eventually? Her parents had an arranged marriage and they’d grown to love each other deeply.
“I would also like to apologize for any behavior on our part that would make you doubt our gratefulness—specifically my own.”
Most important, there were the Tucker children to consider—children to whom she could give so much love and care. She and Quinn wouldn’t be able to have children of their own, but she’d learned her lesson and would keep that bit of information to herself. What could it hurt? With four little ones of his own already, he might not have time to notice.
“We would be happy to have you stay with us through the rest of the school year per our original agreement.”
Quinn wanted her. Quinn needed her. She had a chance with him—with them—that she might not have ever again. She wouldn’t walk away from that. She couldn’t.
Her gaze snapped up from the Bachelor List as Mr. Etheridge’s words finally registered in her brain. “You want me to stay?”
“The school board has concluded that I might have been a bit hasty and overprotective as the matters concerned my own children.” The poor man looked as if he’d swallowed a marble. “We will honor our original agreement with you concerning the position.”
“That’s wonderful!” Her smile was returned by the other members of the board then she bit her lip. “You did say that your daughter is willing to start immediately, though. Didn’t you, Mr. Etheridge?”
“Well, yes, I did.”
“In that case...” She took a deep breath then couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face or the way her chin rose with pride. “I resign.”
Chapter Three
Quinn paced in front of the schoolhouse steps waiting for Helen to return. He felt nervous and even a little light-headed. Of course, that might be from the haircut and shave he’d just had but it was uncomfortable nonetheless. He rubbed his hand over his clean-shaven jaw as he remembered the shocked look on Helen’s pretty face at his clumsy proposal. He’d done the best he could. That didn’t mean it would be good enough. It certainly didn’t mean she’d agree to marry him. Why hadn’t she just outright told him no and put him out of his misery?
He stopped pacing long enough to stare at the schoolhouse door then across the schoolyard to where his children were playing with the Rutledge boy. Reece’s eyes had been as wide as plates when he’d seen Quinn with his new haircut. Clara had turned downright shy. Olivia had started crying. Even now, Trent kept sending him suspicious looks. Helen couldn’t refuse him after he’d alienated his children just to please her. Besides, there wasn’t any other woman in town he’d have a chance with. Not that he personally had a chance with Helen, but the children did.
Please. Please. Please, he prayed again. I know I don’t deserve her, but she isn’t for me. She’s for them.
He jumped when the schoolhouse door opened. Helen was nowhere in sight as the members of the school board clomped down the steps. A grin flashed across Mr. Etheridge’s face and he reached out to pump Quinn’s hand up and down. “May I be the first to congratulate you? What a wonderful surprise!”
Quinn could only respond with a confused grunt.
Mr. Johansen winked. “She’s waiting for you inside.”
Nathan Rutledge clapped him on the back. “I wish you and Helen all the happiness in the world.”
“Me and Helen—” Quinn stopped breathing. His heartbeat pounded in his ears. He stammered some sort of reply though what it was he’d never know. The men left him at the bottom of the stairs staring up at the schoolhouse door. Could it be possible? It certainly seemed likely. What else could they have meant?
He grabbed hold of the banister and took a tentative step up, then surged up the rest of the stairs into the schoolroom. Helen stood at the front of the room cleaning the day’s lessons from the blackboard. His noisy entrance caused her to turn and meet his gaze with a smile. Quinn swallowed, cleared his throat and jerked his thumb toward the door. “They said— I mean, they told me...congratulations. Does that mean that you’re saying yes? That you’re going to marry me?”
Her mahogany eyes sparkled. “I suppose it does.”
“You mean it? For real, now?” He strode forward until he stopped at the edge of the teacher’s platform. “You aren’t joking, are you?”
Her voice turned gentle as she met him there. “Quinn, I’d never joke about something like that.”
“You’re going to marry me.” It wasn’t a question this time. It was a statement even if his tone did hold a hint of disbelief. Trying those words on for size, he found that he liked the way they fit in a terrifying sort of way. He stepped back a little just in case a bolt of lightning struck him in holy retaliation for daring to marry a woman so far above him in every respect. He wouldn’t want it to hit Helen by mistake.
“Yes, I am.” She stepped down from the platform and lifted her face to stare up at him. “Well, isn’t there anything you’d like to say or do about it?”
His attention honed in on her lips which offered a smile far more tempting than anything she could have intended. He’d never kissed a woman before and today wasn’t the day to start him. He’d already pushed the Almighty far enough in asking for what he had no right to claim. Besides, she wasn’t for him. She was for the children. That’s what he’d promised God and he’d be smart to remember that if he wanted to have any chance of actually marrying her. Realizing he was leaning toward her, he pulled himself back. He took her hand to pump it up and down in a fair impression of what Mr. Etheridge had done earlier. “I’m real glad about it, Helen. Real glad.”
A hint of confusion marred her brow as she glanced down at their hands before she pulled hers free with a funny little frown. “Good. I have to finish out this week of school, but we can be married anytime after that.”
He watched her gather papers and books from her desk. “I reckon I’d better talk to the preacher about performing the ceremony.”
“And the judge. We’ll need to start the paperwork for the marriage license right away.”
He held back a groan. The marriage license. He’d completely forgotten about that part of the process. Anxiety rose in his gut. “Do we have to do that? I mean, wouldn’t it be all right if we just let the preacher hitch us up?”
She set the stack she’d gathered on her hip and cocked her head at him. “Not if you want it to be legal.”
“Of course, I do.” He ran his fingers through his close-cropped hair, hating that he’d made himself look foolish. “Guess I’ll talk to Judge Hendricks tomorrow then.”
“We can go together.”
“Great!” Even to his own ears, his reply was a little too enthusiastic to sound genuine. He couldn’t help it. With her along, he wouldn’t be able to ask for help with the reading and writing even if he had a mind to humble himself enough before the judge to do so. She’d be right there watching, expecting him to know something when he didn’t know much of anything.
“I’m sure it won’t be too laborious and, after all, it must be done.”
Looking into her intelligent eyes, he couldn’t help wondering if he was making a mistake. They had to be the most mismatched pair in town. However, they were a pair and they were going to stay that way as long as he could help it so he took the load from his intended’s hands and followed her outside. He stashed her things on the seat of the wagon he’d parked nearby. “I’ll drive you to the boardinghouse after we tell the children.”
“Oh, it isn’t far. There’s no need—” Her eyes widened. “You mean we’re going to tell them right now?”
“Sure we are. You don’t want them to hear it from someone else, do you?”
“No. I just...” She glanced over at the children, smoothing her hair as if she could make herself look more perfect than she already did in her cranberry colored gown.
Somehow her nervousness set him at ease—mostly because it meant he wasn’t the only one feeling that way. His shoulders relaxed, his breath came a bit easier and he felt more like himself than he had all afternoon. Catching her hand in his, he smiled. “I’m sure they’ll be as pleased as I am.”
She sighed when he tugged her forward. “I certainly hope so.”
He stopped at the fenced-in lawn that was shaded by a large oak tree. His nieces and nephews were the only ones left in the school yard, but they didn’t seem to mind a bit for they were completely involved in playing kick the can. Quinn waited, not wanting to interrupt as Reece held Trent back and Clara helped Olivia take a turn at kicking. A squeal erupted from Olivia once her little foot set the can spinning a short distance and Quinn couldn’t help but grin at the sight. “Good job, Olivia! Y’all come on over here now. Miss McKenna and I have something important to tell you.”
Helen stepped a bit closer to his side as the children approached. Trent arrived first, huffing and puffing from all his misplaced exertion. Clara came next with her sister in tow. Finally, Reece joined them with apprehension dogging each slow step. “I didn’t do it, Miss McKenna. Honest.”
Quinn glanced over at Helen for explanation. She shrugged in confusion before turning back to the children. “You didn’t do what, Reece?”
“I don’t know, but I’ve been trying hard to be good so if something’s messed up, it wasn’t me.”
Amusement warmed Helen’s voice. “Reece, you aren’t in trouble. Your uncle has an announcement to make, that’s all.”
Clara tilted her head, her wide blue eyes ripe with curiosity. “What kind of announcement?”
“Miss McKenna and I are going to be married.”
Clara gasped. Reece frowned. Trent’s brow furrowed. Olivia stuck her thumb in her mouth and leaned into her sister’s side. The three eldest exchanged glances then their expressions settled into varying degrees of confusion, fear and sadness. Their reaction stunned him. They must not have understood him correctly. Quinn tried again. This time he used more enthusiasm. “That means she is going to be your aunt! Isn’t that exciting?”
Reece crossed his arms. “Does that mean she won’t be our teacher anymore? I like having her as my teacher.”
Helen placed a gentle hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Oh, but being an aunt is so much better than being a teacher.”
Clara looked nothing if not doubtful. “Why?”
“Because, I am going to live with y’all so that I can love you, and laugh with you and help take care of you.” Helen caught Clara’s free hand. “Don’t you see? Having an aunt is kind of like having a Ma—just like having an uncle is kind of like having a Pa. I want to be that for you more than anything in the world.”
Longing filled the children’s eyes for an instant before Reece shook his head. “I still think you’d better stay our teacher.”
“Me, too. Besides, Uncle Quinn takes care of us really well. He doesn’t need help.” Clara looked to him for confirmation. “Isn’t that right, Uncle Quinn?”
“No, it isn’t right, Clara.” He frowned at them out of confusion and concern more than displeasure. “I don’t understand. I thought you would be pleased. You should be pleased. I am. I want what’s best for you and that’s Miss McKenna, which is why I’m going to marry her.”
Trent bowed his head as his shoulders shook in silent sobs. Before Quinn could blink, Helen was on her knees in the grass with his youngest nephew cradled in her arms. She looked up at Quinn with a myriad of emotions darkening the usual spark in her eyes. “Oh, Quinn, maybe we shouldn’t—”
“Yes, we should.” He sat in the grass beside her then gave a gentle tug to first Reece then Clara to compel them to do the same. His arm tightened around Olivia as she scrambled into his lap. He split his focus between Clara and Reece. “Do either of you know why Trent is crying?”
Clara scooted a little closer into their huddle. “He just a little upset seeing how y’all are going to die and all.”
“What?” he and Helen exclaimed together.
Reece pulled at a blade of grass beside his boot. “Getting married is what killed Pa and our new Ma.”
Clara nodded. “We don’t want that to happen to you and Miss McKenna, too.”
Nonplussed, he gladly let Helen handle that one. She hugged Trent tight. “Oh, darlings, nothing bad is going to happen to your uncle and me just because we are getting married. Tell them, Quinn.”
A single nod was all he could manage. He wasn’t worried about Helen. She would be fine. She didn’t know how far below her due in terms of status, intelligence and sophistication she was marrying. He wasn’t going to tell her, either. Not now. Not ever if he could help it. He wasn’t afraid of facing the consequences of his decision to reach for far more than he deserved—not since he knew how much it would benefit the children. If something did happen to him as a result, at least they would have her.
“What happened to your folks was an accident.” Helen wiped Trent’s tears away with a soft-looking handkerchief. His brown eyes watched her intently as she spoke. “We may not know the reasons why it happened. However, we do know getting married doesn’t mean you’re going to die immediately.”
Reece’s face was full of cautious hope. “How do we know that?”
“Look at all the married people still alive just in this town—not to mention the whole world. There’s nothing for y’all to worry about.” She placed a hand on Quinn’s knee as her eyes sent a silent encouragement for him to assure them. “Is there, Quinn?”
“Not a thing.” He made sure to look the children in the eye as he said it. All the while, he tried to ignore the warmth spreading from Helen’s hand into his knee.
“Your uncle and I are going to be perfectly fine. We’ll be better than fine, actually, because we’re all going to be a family...if you’ll have me.”
Reservations gone, Clara gave Helen a hug including Trent out of necessity. “Of course we will.”
Quinn cleared his throat. “What do you say, Reece? Are you going to make your aunt feel welcome?”
“Yes, sir!” Reece’s enthusiasm was reflected in his grin.
“Trent?”
The silent boy gave a grave nod.
“Good. Now, let’s drop off Miss McKenna at the boardinghouse and get ourselves on home.” He set Olivia on her feet so that she could toddle toward the wagon with the other children. “Helen, I sure am sorry about how they responded at first.”
“It ended well and that’s all that matters.”
“I reckon you’re right.” He stood and reached down to help Helen to her feet. He made sure to release her as soon as she was steady. He’d told the children that there was nothing for them to worry about. There wouldn’t be so long as he remembered that he was marrying Helen to be his children’s mother—not his wife. That would be a whole lot easier if he kept his distance.
* * *
Helen waved goodbye to the Tuckers. Quinn tipped his hat and sent her a quick grin before leaving her behind on the sidewalk in front of the boardinghouse. She barely resisted the impulse to break into a jig right then and there. Wonder of wonders! She was getting married! Not to just anyone, but to Quinn Tucker—a man with a ready-made family. It felt as if she had wandered into her favorite daydream. She could only hope to be lost in it forever.
“Who was that?”
Helen yelped at the sound of Isabelle Bradley’s voice. She’d been staring after the Tuckers’ wagon so fixedly that she hadn’t heard her friend’s approach. “Where did you come from?”
“The post office.” Isabelle’s narrowed green eyes didn’t waver from the retreating wagon. “Was that Quinn Tucker? I heard he got a haircut, but goodness me who knew it would make such a difference. He actually had a face under all that wild hair and a handsome one at that! It was nice of him to drive you home. Violet told me about the school-board meeting. What happened?”
Helen leaned against the cold rod iron of the Bradley’s waist-high fence to push it open for her friend. “The other members of the board made Mr. Etheridge apologize.”
“Good for them.” Isabelle trotted up the porch steps and opened the door for Helen. “So does that mean you no longer have to worry about keeping your position?”
“Yes and no. I resigned.” She had time to place her schoolbooks on the front desk and her coat on the rack before Isabelle’s shock wore off.
“Why,” Isabelle began, extending that one word into several syllables, “did you do that?”
Helen shrugged. “You have to resign if you’re going to get married.”
Isabelle’s mouth dropped open then curved in an incredulous smile. “You’re getting married? To whom? When? Why do I never know about these things? Helen!”
She laughed. “Yes, I’m getting married. On Saturday, I think. You’re the first to know besides the school board and his children.”
“His children?” Isabelle’s eyes widened and flashed in the direction Quinn’s wagon had gone. “Quinn Tucker’s children?”
She nodded. “All four of them.”
“But, I didn’t even know the two of you were courting.”
“Well...” She leaned against the front desk, straightening the stack of books she’d brought home. “We didn’t court...exactly.”
Isabelle sat on the stool behind the desk. “What does that mean?”
Helen rolled her eyes. “It means we didn’t court at all, but it doesn’t matter. There will be plenty of time for that after we marry.”
“Well, then.” Isabelle lifted a brow. “Would it be safe to guess that this isn’t a love match?”
She shrugged. “It is in a way. I love his children.”
“But you don’t love him.”
“I could. I will...one day. I’m certain of it. He’s kind, Christian, hardworking—”
“—suddenly handsome—”
Helen laughed. “I was attracted to him even before the haircut and shave. Besides, he makes me feel...”
“He makes you feel...?”
Whole. He makes me forget that I’m a little bit damaged. She smiled and settled for, “Pretty.”
“You are pretty.”
“Thank you. Besides, what is love, anyway? It isn’t just a feeling. It’s a commitment. It’s endeavoring to understand and appreciate someone for who they are. Even if it was just a feeling, feelings are controllable.” She shrugged at Isabelle’s doubtful look. “Perhaps I come at it from a different perspective than most. You see, my parents had an arranged marriage and they love each other very deeply now. I don’t see why I should expect anything less.”