Australian Affairs: Tempted
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‘Are there any family for us to inform?’
‘She has a daughter, Maria, who lives nearby,’ the nurse said, and spoke then to Elsie, ‘I’ll ring Maria and let her know what’s happening.’
‘She’ll be very disappointed that I’m only sick and not dead,’ Elsie said. ‘It’s the truth!’ Elsie turned to Cate and winked, and Cate found herself smothering a smile. ‘Does Maria even have to know that I’m going to hospital?’ Elsie asked.
‘Of course she does, Elsie!’ the nurse answered. ‘And you’re wrong, Maria will be ever so worried.’
Elsie gave a huff to indicate that she doubted it. ‘I’m not going out on a stretcher,’ Elsie said.
‘Fine.’ Louise smiled. ‘I’ll go and get the chair.’
‘Do you want to leave your jewellery here?’ Cate suggested, knowing that one of the first things that would happen when they got to Emergency was that they would take it all off and lock it up in the safe. But Elsie wasn’t going anywhere without her finery.
‘And I want my photo album too…’ She pointed to a shelf and Juan went over to fetch it.
‘You might only be there a few hours,’ the nurse pointed out.
‘Then I’ll have something to look at while I’m waiting,’ Elsie retorted.
‘Where’s this, Elsie?’ Juan asked, pointing to a picture in a frame where a younger Elsie was smiling into the camera against a stunning backdrop of houses and a glimpse of the ocean behind her.
‘Menton,’ Elsie said. The medication wasn’t stopping her from talking! ‘They call it the pearl of France. Have you been?’
‘To France, yes,’ Juan said. ‘To Menton, no, but I want to now!’ They chatted about it even as she was loaded into the ambulance and transferred from the chair to the stretcher. She was in a seated position for comfort and she and Juan chatted all the way to Bayside.
‘I was there for six months,’ Elsie said. ‘Then I went back, oh, ten years ago now and it’s still just as lovely.’ She looked at Juan. ‘Are you Spanish?’
‘I’m from Argentina.’
‘Well, I’ll try not to hold it against you,’ she said, and Juan laughed. Elsie peered at him for a while, slowly looking at his hair and then down to his boots before looking at Cate.
‘He’s a good-looking one, isn’t he?’ Elsie said.
‘You just caught him at a good time,’ Cate answered back.
‘That’s what I’m here for,’ Juan responded, and Cate felt her cheeks burn a little, because a good time was all that he was here for—and she would do very well to remember that fact.
‘So you don’t live in Australia?’ Elsie asked him.
‘No,’ Juan said. ‘I am here for a working holiday.’
Elsie frowned for a while before speaking. ‘You’re a bit old for all that, aren’t you?’ And for the second time since meeting Elsie, Cate found herself suppressing a smile. Elsie was funny and wise and old enough to say what she liked and not care what others thought.
‘Never too old, Elsie,’ Juan said. ‘Surely you know that?’
For the first time since their arrival it was Elsie smiling—at Juan. ‘You’re a charmer, aren’t you?’
‘Am I charming you, Elsie?’ Juan smiled back.
Of course he was.
Christine didn’t seem too impressed when they arrived back at the department. ‘Finally, the wanderers return!’ And she wasn’t too pleased to have been forced out of her office during Cate’s absence. ‘I’m going to go and do some work now,’ Christine said. ‘There are incident forms to fill in. I don’t want to leave them for you.’
‘Sure,’ Cate said, as Christine handed over the drug keys to her.
‘She’s a sour one!’ Elsie muttered, as she was moved over onto a gurney.
Cate made no comment. ‘I’m just going to go find you a gown,’ she said to Elsie when she realised that there wasn’t one. Now, that was one thing that was going to change when she was in charge. Cate really hated it when the cubicles were not properly tidied and stocked.
‘Can’t I just wear my nightdress?’ Elsie grumbled, but Cate explained that she would need to take off her bra and necklace as the doctor would probably order a chest X-ray.
First, though, Cate did a routine set of obs and then headed off in search of the elusive gown. The linen trolley was void of them—the staff from the wards were always coming down and pinching linen from the emergency trolley and so Cate often hid a few pieces as soon as they were delivered. She went to her secret stash in the storeroom, where she kept a few gowns hidden behind the burn packs.
The phone was ringing as she made her way back and, with the ward clerk not around, Cate took the call—it was Maria, Elsie’s daughter.
‘She only just arrived in the department,’ Cate explained. ‘The doctor should be in with her soon.’
‘She’s talking?’ Maria checked.
‘Oh, yes!’ Cate smiled, because Elsie hadn’t stopped talking since she had laid eyes on her. ‘Should I tell her that you’re coming in?’
‘No, no,’ Maria said. ‘I’ll call back later this afternoon to see what’s happening. It doesn’t sound as if it is anything too serious. I don’t know why they called an ambulance.’
‘She developed chest pain,’ Cate said. ‘I’m quite sure it was more severe than even Elsie was letting on, though she’s very comfortable now.’
‘Still, I think an ambulance is taking things a bit far. We don’t want any heroics.’
Cate blinked for a moment at the matter-of-fact way Maria addressed a rather sensitive issue. ‘Is that something that has already been discussed?’ Cate asked carefully. ‘Does your mother have a DNR order?’
‘No, but at her age surely we should just let nature take its course?’
Cate continued the difficult conversation, explaining that Elsie was lucid and comfortable and that it was something Elsie could discuss with the doctor if she saw fit. ‘Is there any message that you’d like me to pass on to your mother?’ Cate asked.
‘Just tell her that I’ll call back later,’ Maria said, and then rang off.
Cate let out a breath, and when the phone rang again, on instinct she answered it, though she soon wished that she hadn’t.
‘Can I please speak with Dr Morales?’
‘I’ll see if he’s available,’ Cate said. ‘May I ask who’s calling?’ As soon as the words were out she regretted them; she had made it clear that Juan was here but her mind had been so full of Elsie and her daughter that she had forgotten Juan’s little lecture from last week.
‘Tell him it is Martina.’
She found Juan in with Elsie, taking bloods.
‘Sorry I took so long, Elsie,’ Cate said. ‘Your daughter just called…’
Elsie rolled her eyes and dismissed the information with a flick of her hand. ‘You can ring her when I’m dead,’ Elsie huffed. ‘That will cheer her up.’
‘She’s going to call back later,’ Cate said, making a mental note to speak to whichever doctor Elsie was referred to, so that Elsie’s wishes could be discussed properly. ‘Juan, you’ve got a call too—Martina is on the phone for you, I’m very sorry, I forgot and I—’
He interrupted her excuses. ‘Tell her that I am with a patient,’ Juan answered, labelling the vials of blood he had taken.
‘Just to have her call back in ten minutes?’ Cate checked, because Martina called fairly frequently. ‘Why doesn’t she ring your mobile?’
‘Because I’ve blocked her.’ He muttered something under his breath in Spanish but then winked at Elsie. ‘Excuse me, I need to take a phone call.’
‘Be nice when you do,’ Elsie warned, and Juan smiled and gave a small shake of his head.
‘It gets you into more trouble sometimes.’
It did.
Juan had tried being nice, had tried being firm, had been downright rude a couple of times and the calls had stopped for a while. But as the date of what would have been their first wedding anniversary approached, Martina was more determined than ever to change history.
‘Juan, I was hoping to speak to you.’
‘I’m at work.’
‘Then call me from home.’
‘Martina—’
‘You won’t let me properly explain,’ Martina interrupted. ‘And I’m hearing from everyone the ridiculous things you are doing—that You are going to do a season of skiing. Why would you take such risks?’
‘I’m not your concern, Martina. You made that very clear.’
‘I would have come round. Juan, please, we need to speak.’
‘Stop calling me at work,’ Juan said, and hung up and sat for a moment, thinking of the man he had once been, compared with the man he was now.
Martina didn’t know him at all.
She couldn’t.
Not even he knew yet who the new Juan was.
‘Poor Martina,’ Elsie had said as Juan had left the cubicle to take the call and Cate had laughed. She loved old people, they knew about a thousand times more than the whole of the staff put together. It had taken Elsie about two seconds to work out what a heartbreaker Juan was.
‘I had one like that once,’ Elsie said, nodding to the curtains Juan had just walked through, as Cate helped her undress and get into a gown.
‘What, a six-foot-three Argentinian?’ Cate quipped.
‘No, a five-foot-eight Frenchman!’ Cate wanted to put Elsie in her handbag and take her home. ‘I was in my fifties and I’d been widowed for two years.’
‘That’s young to be a widow.’
‘Don’t waste any sympathy, I had a terrible marriage,’ Elsie said. ‘You can call me the merry widow if you must, but I was just sick of feeling like I was in my daughter’s way and being told what to do. I took myself off to France—I’d always wanted to go and I was so glad I did. We had one week together and I had the best time of my whole life!’ She pointed to a large silver bezel-set amethyst ring on her finger. ‘No regrets from me,’ Elsie said. ‘We had completely different lives, it would never have worked long term but we kept in touch a little bit. He sent me a card now and then, and when he died ten years ago I went back and visited his grave and thanked him.’
She opened the album and showed Cate a picture of the love of her life, a love that had lasted just a few days.
‘Have you ever been adored?’ Elsie asked, and Cate frowned as she met Elsie’s pale blue eyes.
‘I don’t think so,’ Cate admitted, as the reason for her break-up was delivered to her, as the word she had needed was revealed.
‘I highly recommend it,’ Elsie said. ‘Have you ever adored anyone?’
And Cate faltered. ‘Adored?’
‘It’s a rare kind of love,’ Elsie said, ‘and I got to taste it.’
‘Was it worth it, though, Elsie?’ Cate asked. ‘Lugging a broken heart around for the rest of your life.’
‘My heart wasn’t broken.’ Elsie smiled. ‘It soars every time I think of him.’
Cate’s heart wasn’t soaring, though, as Juan pulled her aside a while later and warned ‘for the third time’ that she had to have a word with the nursing staff and receptionist and remind them about privacy on the phone. They were not to reveal any of the staff rosters.
It was the closest she had come to seeing him angry or, rather, very disgruntled.
And so too was Cate, as she had a word with the staff as per Juan’s instructions!
There she was, mopping up the chaos of his love life. It was a relief not to have slept with him.
Then she saw him laughing with Elsie, chatting with her as she was waiting to be moved to the ward, just standing by her gurney and putting a smile on the old lady’s face. She was in a white hospital gown now, all the rings and jewellery off, but she had her pink shawl around her shoulders and was smiling as she showed him pictures.
No, it was no relief not to have slept with him.
It was simply self-preservation.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘CATE?’
Cate heard her name being called over her side gate as she hung out her uniform. She was in a rush, she’d just come out of the shower and, yet again, she was driving, so she really didn’t have much time. But that never stopped Bridgette, who would chat happily as Cate got ready.
‘Come over, Bridgette, but I can’t chat for long.’
‘Going out?’
Cate nodded. ‘Yes, and I have no idea what to wear.’
They headed into the kitchen and Cate put on the kettle and did her usual thing with tea and ice—it was the only way to get through the long hot summer. Then they headed upstairs to decide what Cate should wear. ‘I need a new wardrobe,’ Cate sighed.
‘So do I.’
‘No, I really need one,’ Cate said. ‘Everything I’ve got I wore when I was going out with Paul. I’ve got my black dress, my going-out-for-dinner dress, the dress I wore when I met his family…’ It was hard to explain.
‘What about this?’ Bridgette pointed out Cate’s lilac skirt.
‘It’s the one new thing I have but I wore it last week.’
‘Are you missing him?’
‘No,’ Cate said. ‘And then I feel guilty that I don’t.’
‘So who’s this other guy?’
Cate was about to shake her head but there was no chance of Bridgette meeting Juan and it would be so nice to get her advice—even if she had no intention of taking it! Bridgette was a lot more open-minded than Cate and always made her laugh.
‘There’s a casual doctor at work,’ Cate said. ‘He’s from Argentina and is travelling for a year or two…’
‘Nothing wrong with a younger man.’
‘He’s not younger, though,’ Cate said, because, yes, most doctors were in their twenties when they travelled the world. ‘He’s in his mid-thirties, I think. It sounds like he had a really good job and then just took off…’
‘He’s a bit young to be having a mid-life crisis.’
‘He’s not in crisis!’ Cate laughed. ‘He’s having a ball. He’s stunning, everyone fancies him, he makes no bones that he’s moving on soon and that he’s not interested in anything serious, not that it stops anyone.’ She paused for a moment. ‘He works all over Melbourne and from what I saw today he’s having just as much fun at the other hospitals as he is at Bayside, but…’ Cate took a breath ‘…we get on, he likes me…’
‘And you clearly like him.’
Cate nodded. ‘He leaves the country soon so it’s not going anywhere except bed…’ She looked at Bridgette. ‘And that’s just not me.’
‘Who knows where it could lead?’
‘No.’ Cate shook her head. ‘That’s the one thing I can’t let myself think. The whole point is, it will go nowhere and I don’t know if I can get my head around that.’
‘You take things so seriously.’
‘I know I do,’ Cate said. ‘I don’t want to, but I do. I want to be carefree, I want to just let loose and have fun and live a little…’
‘Then do.’
To Bridgette it was that simple.
Maybe, Cate thought, it could be.
She thought of Elsie and her one wild fling, thought of Juan, who was, quite simply, beautiful, and she felt as if she was standing on the edge of a diving board and peering down.
She wanted to have done it, wanted to be climbing out of the water, high from the thrill. It was just throwing herself over the edge that Cate was struggling to come to terms with.
‘I’ve got a dress you can have,’ Bridgette said. ‘It’s too big for me but it would look great on you. It’s still got the tags on. Go and get ready and I’ll fetch it.’
They borrowed and swapped things all the time. Bridgette was always buying and selling things on the internet. Cate did her make-up until Bridgette returned.
‘Oh!’ She stared at the dress. ‘White?’
‘First after Paul.’ Bridgette winked. ‘You need sexy undies.’
Cate opened her top drawer and let out a sigh. Juan was right, her relationship with Paul had gone on too long—two years in and they’d long since passed the sexy underwear stage.
‘You are joking?’ Bridgette said, as Cate pulled out some rather plain white panties. ‘You’d be better off not wearing any!’
Well, that wasn’t going to happen—so she had to wear the sensible ones.
Cate never usually wore white, but when she put it on she found it suited her. The dress tied under the bust and scooped a little too low and certainly, when she looked in the mirror, the word virginal didn’t spring to mind.
‘It’s too much! Or, rather, it’s way too little,’ she said, pulling the dress down over her bottom.
‘Go for it,’ Bridgette said. ‘Take a taxi.’
‘I’d rather drive,’ Cate said. ‘Anyway, I’m working tomorrow.’
She put on her new wedges and there was a flurry of nerves in her stomach as she looked in the mirror, and then there was the most terribly unfamiliar feeling as she filled her bag not just with lipstick and breath mints but with a few condoms too.
It was so not her.
Just so against her nature.
Cate picked up Kelly and Abby and kept having to force herself to keep up with the conversation, her mind was so full of Juan.
There was a flurry of hellos as they entered the garden to the restaurant where Christine’s leaving do was being held.
They had chosen outside, not just because of the balmy heat but because thirty Emergency workers tended to be loud at the best of the times.
Cate slipped into a seat beside Louise and, although she did her best not to look over, the second she arrived she searched for him. She saw that Juan was already there. He was, of course, in the middle of the long table, sitting beside Christine and enthralling his adoring audience.
Maybe, Cate thought, all this indecision was for nothing, because he’d barely looked in her direction.
Maybe she’d said no one too many times.
‘He could have his pick, couldn’t he?’ Louise said.
‘Almost,’ Cate sighed, they both knew who she was talking about.
‘It’s a shame he’s leaving.’
‘I just don’t get the drifting-around-the-world thing,’ Cate said. ‘He wouldn’t even commit to a three-month contract. I could understand it if he was in his twenties.’
‘I don’t need three months with him…’ Louise nudged, and Cate pushed out a smile.
It was actually a very nice night—at first. The restaurant was set high on Olivers Hill and looked over Port Phillip Bay. The view was stunning and the drink was flowing a bit too freely because Christine’s laughter was getting louder and louder, the stories at the table more outrageous. Cate laughed and joined in but her heart really wasn’t in it. She just wanted to go home, not to be sitting waiting for a sliver of Juan’s attention, not to be like Christine and hanging onto his every word.
And, yes, it hurt that he hadn’t so much as spoken to her once.
It was still, at eleven p.m., unbearably warm and Cate blew up her fringe as she let out a long breath. ‘Another sleepless night, tossing and turning…’
‘Well, if you insist.’ Juan’s voice from behind her made Cate jump but she managed to answer in her usual dry fashion when she turned round. ‘In your dreams, Juan!’
He lowered his head and gave her a brief kiss on the cheek, just as a few other colleagues had, but because it was Juan he took the tease one step further. ‘Often.’
‘You don’t know when to stop, do you?’ Cate really tried not to take his flirting seriously, for pity the woman who believed that any words that slipped from those velvet lips hadn’t been used many times before.
‘I brought you a drink…’ Juan put a glass of champagne on the table.
‘It’s very nice of you, but I’m driving.’
‘You can have one.’
‘I don’t want to have one.’
‘I’ll have it.’ Louise smiled.
‘Help yourself.’
He moved into an empty seat beside her—a few of the gathering had gone to dance and once she’d finished her drink Louise drifted off to join them.
‘Are you looking forward to Monday?’ Juan asked.
‘I don’t know that much will change,’ Cate attempted.
‘Of course it will.’
‘It might only be temporary,’ Cate pointed out. ‘I might not get the job.’
‘You know you will.’ He saw the swallow in her throat. ‘Is it what you want?’
‘Of course it is.’
‘Why?’
‘Why wouldn’t I?’ She gave a small shake of her head. She wasn’t about to discuss her career with a man who had turned his back on his.
‘Have you thought about doing the sky jump?’
‘The places are all taken.’
‘You can have mine.’ Juan grinned. ‘I’d happily pay to watch you jump out of a plane. I think it would be very freeing for you.’
‘I don’t need freeing.’ Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him. ‘I don’t need a shot of adrenaline from jumping out of a plane to prove that I’m alive…’ It annoyed her that he smiled. ‘I don’t.’
‘I’m not arguing.’ Still he smiled. ‘I wish you good luck with your interview. If I come back in a couple of years, I expect you’ll be carrying a clipboard and be the new director of nursing.’
‘And what will you be doing in a couple of years?’ Cate asked, because even though he was smiling she felt there was a challenge in his tone. ‘Still roaming the globe, still doing casual shifts and not knowing where you’re going to be each day?’
‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘I try not to think that far ahead, but I am thinking ahead now—after you’ve dropped everyone off, come back to mine.’
‘Pardon?’
‘I would like to have some time to speak with you.’
‘We’re speaking now.’
‘Okay, I would like to talk to you some more.’ He would. Juan was more than aware that this might be the last time they were together and he cared enough about Cate to prolong the conversation. She clearly didn’t want his career advice, so he switched track to something a little more palatable. ‘I would like to be a bit more hot in my pursuit but I don’t think you would appreciate it. You are senior, you don’t need the Dr Juan walk of shame, so I’m inviting you to come over afterwards…’
‘Why would I come back to yours?’
‘Because, as I said when I brought your drink, I think about you often and think it is the same for you. I believe if you want something you should at least try, and so I am.’
‘I don’t think—’
‘Don’t think, then.’
She couldn’t really believe he could be so upfront about it.
‘Juan…’
‘I can’t talk too long. Christine is being a pain and I don’t want to upset her at her leaving do. We can talk some more back at mine.’
Cate excused herself and nipped out to the toilets. She wished for a guilty moment that she hadn’t when she saw Christine in there in tears. Cate really didn’t know what to say.
‘It’s hard, leaving,’ Cate attempted, ‘but you’ll still keep in touch…’
‘Do you really think I’m crying about that place?’ Christine looked at her. ‘I couldn’t be happier to be getting away from it. It’s Juan.’
‘Oh.’
‘I made a bit of a fool of myself,’ Christine said. ‘I asked if he wanted to come back after…’ She cringed. ‘I was very politely rebuffed. I told myself before I came out not to drink and Juan.’ Cate gave a thin smile at Christine’s pale joke—she knew exactly what she meant.
‘Our livers will be thanking him,’ Cate said, because she wasn’t just being a martyr, driving everyone around—since she’d met Juan she’d been clutching water, terrified that a thimble of wine and all restraint would be gone.
‘I should have known better.’ Christine started the repair job on her face. ‘I knew it wasn’t going anywhere, but it was so great being with him…’
Cate really didn’t want to hear this; she didn’t want to hear from Christine how good he was in bed. She was just about to excuse herself, skip to the loo, do anything to avoid that conversation. She had no idea what was coming next.
‘It was all going great until you came back from leave.’
‘What?’
‘Oh, come on, Cate…’
‘There’s nothing going on between us.’
‘I’m not blind.’
Cate just stood there; she knew this could get nasty and she certainly didn’t have to explain one kiss to bloody Christine.
‘What’s going on between the two of you, then?’ came Christine’s slightly drunken demand.
‘I don’t know about you, Christine, but I left school years ago,’ Cate said, and walked out.
She went to get her bag but she’d promised Kelly a lift.
Kelly could pay for a taxi for once, Cate decided. But there was no need to rush off. The drama was over—Juan had already gone.