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He should be enjoying himself, Juan told himself, heading back to his bike. He should be getting on with life, living as he had promised to on those dark, lonely nights when his future had been so uncertain. He should not be thinking about some imagined past that had never happened, a marriage that hadn’t taken place. He should be embracing the future, living for this very minute, not dwelling on a wedding that had been cancelled and a future that had never existed.
He was happy being free, Juan told himself, and he intended to remain that way. He climbed back on his bike and started the engine, ready to move on with his life—as he had said to Cate last night, nothing lasted for ever. It was about enjoying what you had now—and Juan was determined to do that.
He was happy.
Juan rode the bike up the hill, along the curved roads, hugging the bends and telling himself he loved the freedom, loved the thought of a world that was waiting for him to explore it.
A small animal burst out of the bushes and his mind told him not to swerve, but instinct won.
The bike skidded and He tried to right it but failed. But he was skilled on a motorcycle and he was not going fast, so he controlled the landing. He felt the bitumen burn along his shoulder as he and the bike skidded into the bush, regretting that he had ridden without leathers.
Great.
He lay there a moment, getting his breath back, winded, a bit sore. His ego was a touch bruised, especially when Juan heard a voice and the sound of someone running towards him.
‘Stay still!’ He heard the urgent command. ‘It’s very important that you stay still.’
‘I’m fine,’ Juan called back, and moved to sit up, to get the bike off that was pinning him down.
‘You have to stay still.’ A man was looking down at him. ‘I’m a first-aider.’
Brilliant.
‘My wife’s calling an ambulance.’
Better still!
‘I’m fine, really,’ Juan said through gritted teeth. ‘If you could just help me move the bike.’
‘Just lie still.’
‘I know what I’m saying—I’m an anaesthetist,’ Juan said. ‘I work in Emergency…’
‘They say that doctors make the worst patients.’ Still he smiled down. ‘I’m Ken.’
Trust his luck to get an over-eager Boy Scout come across him. Juan lay there as Ken’s wife came over, telling them that the ambulance was on the way.
‘Hold his head, darling,’ Ken said. ‘I’ll lift the bike.’
‘What about the helmet?’ She looked down at Juan. ‘I’m Olive, by the way.’
‘Don’t try and remove it,’ Ken warned. ‘Leave that for the paramedics.’
His day could not get any better, Juan thought, lying there. Of course he could shrug them off, get up and stand, but they were just trying to help. He should be grateful, Juan told himself. Technically they were doing everything right, except, apart from a grazed shoulder, there was not a thing wrong with him.
He was grateful.
Juan looked up at Olive and remembered the last time he’d had an accident. He had been lying on his side, begging bystanders not to touch him, not to roll him, not to move him.
It’s not like last time.
Over and over he told that to himself and held onto the scream that was building.
He’d explain things to the paramedics, Juan decided, closing his eyes and hearing the faint wail of a siren far in the distance. He tried to calm himself, but there was an unease building as he thought of the paramedics’ response when he told them about his previous injuries. An appalling thought occurred when he tried to work out his location and the nearest hospital.
He did not want Cate to know.
Juan did not want his past impinging on the little time they’d had, yet he could hear the paramedics making their way over to him and knew that it was about to.
‘Juan!’ Louise smiled down at him, shone a torch in his eyes as she spoke to him. ‘What happened to you?’
He told her. ‘It was a simple accident. I have only grazed my shoulder. I’m not going to hospital.’
‘Let’s just take a look at you, Juan.’ Louise was calm. ‘Were you knocked out?’
‘No.’
‘How did you land?’
‘On my shoulder.’
Her hands were feeling around his neck. ‘Do you have any pain in your neck?’
‘None.’ He felt her fingers still on the scar and then gently explore it.
‘Is there any past history that we need to know about, Juan?’
He stared up at the sky at the tops of the trees and he absolutely did not want to reveal anything, except only a fool would lie now.
‘I had a spinal injury.’
‘Okay.’ Louise waited for more information.
‘Eighteen months ago.’
He just stared up at the trees as the routine accident suddenly turned serious. ‘I’m fine, Louise.’ He went to sit up but hands were holding his head.
‘Just stay still, Juan.’
‘My neck is stable, better than before…’
‘What injury did you have?’
‘I had an incomplete fracture to C5 and C6.’
He lay there as they carefully removed the helmet and he was placed in a hard collar, and the spinal board was brought from the ambulance.
‘I don’t want to go to Bayside,’ Juan said as they lifted him in.
‘I’m sorry, Juan. We need to take you to the nearest Emergency.’
‘Nothing is wrong.’
‘We have to take all precautions. You know that.’ Louise cared only for the health of her patients and pulled out the words that were needed. ‘I’m following protocol.’
He couldn’t argue with that.
The best that he could hope for was that Cate might be on her break, that he could somehow slip in and out of the department unnoticed by her. She might even be holed up in her office.
Except she wasn’t Christine.
She wasn’t like anyone.
Cate was like no one he had ever met.
Juan stared up at the ceiling of another ambulance and said it over and over again to himself.
It’s not like last time.
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