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‘Leave my stockings on,’ Macey said.
‘Oh, I’ll leave them for Steele to take off, shall I?’ Candy challenged.
Macey huffed and lifted her bottom but as Candy rolled the stockings down she found out why Macey was so reluctant to get fully undressed—there was a bandage on her leg and around that the skin was very red and inflamed.
‘I’ll take this off so Steele can take a look,’ Candy said. She went and washed her hands and opened up a dressing pack and then put on some gloves.
‘Careful,’ Macey warned.
‘Is it very painful?’ Candy asked, and Macey nodded.
‘Okay, I’ll just put some saline on,’ Candy said, ‘and we’ll soak it off. Has your GP seen this?’
‘I don’t need a doctor to tell me how to do a dressing.’
Candy soaked the dressing in saline and then covered Macey with a blanket and checked her obs, before heading out to Steele. He was sitting at the nurses’ station, going through all Macey’s medications. He had a pill counter and was tipping one of the bottles out when Candy came over.
‘She’s got a nasty leg wound,’ Candy said.
‘How bad?’
‘I haven’t seen it,’ Candy said. ‘I’m just soaking the dressing but her shin is all red and I think it’s very painful.’
‘Okay.’ He started to tip the tablets back into the jar. ‘I don’t want her left on her own,’ Steele said.
‘Sorry?’
‘I don’t like what I’m seeing with these tablets,’ Steele said. ‘I don’t trust her not to do something stupid.’
‘Oh!’
‘I’ll come in and see her now.’
They both returned to the cubicle and Steele examined Macey. He listened for a long time to her chest and felt her stomach, keeping her as covered as he could while he did so, and then they got to her leg.
Steele put on some gloves and took off the dressing and Macey winced in pain. ‘Sorry, Miss Anderson,’ Steele said. ‘How long have you had this?’
‘A couple of weeks.’
Steele looked up at Macey. ‘That’s very concerning. This has developed over two weeks?’
Candy could hear the note of sarcasm in Steele’s voice and watched as Macey stared back at him and then backed down.
‘I knocked my leg when I came out of hospital. It’s just not healed and it’s been getting worse.’
‘That sounds far more plausible.’ Steele smiled at her. ‘Well, that accounts for your temperature!’ He took a swab and though he was very gentle the cotton tip must have felt like a red-hot poker because Macey let out a yelp of pain. ‘Very sorry, Macey,’ Steele said. He put a light dressing over it. ‘We’ll give you something decent for pain before we dress it properly.’ He spoke then to Candy. ‘Can you take Macey round for a chest X-ray?’
Just as Candy had finished drawing some blood the porter arrived and Candy went to X-Ray with Macey and Catherine. They were seen relatively quickly but Macey was clearly less than impressed at what she considered a long wait.
Having looked at her X-ray, Steele came into the cubicle and then turned to Catherine. ‘Why don’t you go and get a drink?’ he suggested. ‘I’m going to be with your aunt for the next twenty minutes or so—you might as well take the chance for a break now.’
‘Thank you,’ Catherine said in relief.
‘I just wanted to check a couple of things,’ Steele said once Catherine had left the cubicle.
‘And then I can go home?’
‘You’re not well enough,’ Steele said. ‘Now, while Catherine isn’t here, I want you to tell me how many you smoke a day?’
‘I don’t smoke.’
‘Miss Anderson, do you want me to bring in your chest X-ray and we can go over it together?’
‘Two.’ She gave a tight shrug. ‘Maybe three a day.’
‘We’ll say ten, then, shall we?’ Steele said, and Candy blinked when Macey didn’t correct him. ‘I’ll write you up for a nicotine patch. How much do you drink a day?’
‘I’ve told you already, I don’t.’
‘Six broken ribs of varying ages.’ Steele smiled at the old girl. ‘Come on, Macey. So am I to worry that you’re falling down for no reason?’
‘I slipped on some ice,’ Macey said, ‘and I’ve got a cat that gets under my feet.’
‘Fair enough.’ Steele nodded. ‘So you don’t want me to write you down for a couple of shots of sherry at night?’ he checked. ‘You can have either your own stuff, or the hospital’s cheap disgusting stuff. We just need the bottle if you want to drink your own.’
Macey took in a deep breath before saying anything. ‘It’s in my bag.’
‘Good, we’ll make sure it’s handed over to nursing staff out of sight of your niece.’
Candy stood there feeling a bit stunned but she hadn’t seen anything yet. Steele had brought back in the two ice-cream containers that Macey had brought in with her and he started to go through them.
‘Macey, you haven’t been taking these regularly.’ He held up a pill bottle. ‘Yet you’re not.’
‘There’s so many. I can’t keep up.’
Steele picked up another bottle that had just a couple of tablets in it. ‘And these were only dispensed two days ago,’ Steele said, ‘and there are only two left.’
‘I didn’t take them,’ Macey said in a scoffing voice.
‘I know that you didn’t or we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. So where are they now?’
‘I don’t know. My niece puts them into a pill box …’
‘Macey?’
‘I tipped them down the toilet. I don’t trust the drug companies.’
‘Are you depressed, Macey?’
‘Oh, you’re going to put me on antidepressants now. You’re in cahoots with the drug companies.’
‘Are you confused and mixing up your medication or are you ignoring your health?’ Steele asked, and Candy stood there, watching him stare right into Macey’s eyes. ‘Are you depressed, Macey?’
There was a long stretch of silence before Macey answered.
‘I’m not confused,’ she said. ‘Well, sometimes I am with dates and things.’
‘But you’re not confused where your medication’s concerned?’ Steele checked.
‘No,’ Macey said, and Candy frowned at the serious note to Steele’s voice.
‘Okay.’
‘Could you just leave me, please?’ Macey asked.
‘Not happening,’ Steele said, and he took down the edge of the trolley she was lying on. His legs were long enough that he sat there easily. She would need a ladder to do that, Candy thought, and then she stopped thinking idle thoughts as she started to realise the seriousness of this conversation.
‘Why did you tip the tablets in the toilet?’ Steele challenged gently, and Candy felt the back of her nose stinging as he pushed on. ‘Were you scared that you might take them all?’
Macey’s face started to crumple and Steele took her hand. ‘Look at me, Macey. Are you having suicidal thoughts?’ Steele asked bluntly, and after a moment she nodded and then started to cry.
‘Well done for throwing them away,’ Steele said. ‘Well done for coming into hospital and speaking with me.’ Candy watched as he wrapped his arms around the proud lady as she started to really sob. ‘It’s okay.’ His voice was very deep but so gentle. ‘We’re going to look after you …’
CHAPTER THREE
CANDY SLEPT FOR a few hours on Friday afternoon before her first night shift on the geriatric ward and then she got ready and took the Underground into work.
She was actually rather nervous about her night shift. She was so used to working in Emergency that she wasn’t too sure how she would go on the ward. She also had a short four-hour shift there on Sunday morning.
It will be worth it, Candy told herself as she stepped into the geriatric unit.
Hawaii, here I come!
The handover lasted much longer than it did in Emergency and the day staff went into far more detail about the patients than she had grown used to. Candy sat as the staff discussed in depth the patients’ moods and their ADLs: activities of daily living. Steele was sitting at a desk in the room with his back to everyone but didn’t leave as the handover started; he just carried on with whatever he was doing on the computer and offered comment or clarification at times.
Candy knew that she was far, far too aware of him.
The staff clearly liked him. If there was a question they would toss it over to him and he would answer as he typed away.
Elaine, a student nurse, was giving her handover to the night staff, watched over by her mentor, Gloria. Elaine was very bossy and seemed to think she was the only one in the room who knew what she was doing. She had given a sigh of exasperation when Candy had introduced herself and said that she was from the hospital bank. ‘Another one!’ Elaine had said.
As Elaine gave her handover there were a few times when Candy caught Abigail’s eye—Abigail was the senior nurse she would be working with tonight, and they both smothered a smile.
Mr Heath, who had been so unwell the other day in Emergency, was doing a lot better and Candy was allocated to look after him for the night.
She was also given Toby Worthington, a terminal patient who was on a lot of morphine for pain control and, Elaine said, liked to have his radio on till eleven at night and then turned on again at six.
‘Then we have Macey Anderson.’ Elaine moved on to the next patient.
‘I know Macey,’ Candy said. ‘I was in Emergency when she was admitted.’
‘Could you have her tonight as well, then?’ Abigail checked and Candy nodded. They went through her history, which was pretty much what Candy already knew. How Macey had been since admission had changed rapidly, though. ‘Since she’s come to the ward she’s been very withdrawn,’ Elaine said. ‘She doesn’t want to eat, or wash. She’s on an IV regime but if she continues to refuse meals and drinks she’ll need an NG tube. Steele has taken her off a lot of her medications and has also started her on a low dose of antidepressants …’ Elaine went through her medications. ‘Make sure she takes them and she’s not hiding them,’ Elaine warned, and Candy nodded. But that wasn’t enough for Elaine. ‘You have to ask her to lift her tongue.’
‘I shall,’ Candy said, trying to keep the edge from her voice. Elaine was a funny little thing, with a very long, wide mouth that opened often.
She reminded Candy of a puppet.
‘Why does she have to lift her tongue, Elaine?’ Steele asked from the computer, and Candy felt her lips stretch into a smile because clearly he had Elaine worked out too.
‘To make sure that she’s not hiding any under there,’ Elaine said, and looked at Candy to make sure that she understood the instruction.
‘Thanks,’ Candy said. ‘I’ll make sure that she takes them.’
As Elaine left the room Abigail winked. ‘Matron Elaine!’
‘Her heart’s in the right place, though,’ Gloria, the sister in charge of the day shift, said. ‘But, oh my, she’s hard work. Elaine insists on calling everything by its technical name. The patients haven’t a clue what she’s asking. Just this evening she asked Mr Heath if she could check for scrotal oedema.’ Gloria smiled as she recalled it. ‘He said, “Do you mean my balls, dear?” It was too funny.’
They were all very nice and after handover Elaine gave Candy a quick tour of the ward before she headed for home.
Actually, it wasn’t that quick—Elaine was incredibly thorough, going through everything in detail when really Candy wanted to get started.
‘I think that covers everything,’ Candy said. ‘Thanks for the tour.’
‘I’ll just show you where the torches and things are kept,’ Elaine said, but Candy looked at the clock and it was already nearly ten. ‘Go.’ Candy smiled. ‘It’s Friday night. Enjoy it!’
Elaine gave a little nod and finally headed for home and then Candy went to check on her patients for the night.
Mr Heath was indeed looking better.
‘Hello, Candy.’ He smiled when she came over and he put down the book that he was reading.
‘You remember me?’ Candy asked in surprise, because Mr Heath had been so distressed in Resus that he hadn’t seemed very aware of his surroundings or able to hear what anybody except Steele was saying.
‘Of course I do.’
‘Well, it’s lovely to see you looking so much better,’ Candy said. She then did his obs and gave him his medications for the night and, as she did so, they chatted for a while.
‘I’m hoping to go home on Monday,’ Mr Heath said. ‘My granddaughter gets married next week.’
‘How exciting,’ Candy said. ‘Is it a big wedding?’
‘Huge!’ Mr Heath nodded. ‘She’s marrying an Ital …’ His voice trailed off.
‘Don’t stop on my account.’ Candy grinned. ‘I know what Italian weddings can be like. I must be the only girl in the world who’s dreaded her wedding day since she was little rather than dreamt of it.’
Mr Heath laughed. ‘Will it be big?’
‘You have no idea,’ Candy said. ‘I have four older brothers, all married, and my mother is itching for it to be my turn. She buys sheets and towels for me when she shops—oh, and washing baskets and the like. I’m all set up!’ Candy smiled. ‘Apart from the groom.’
It was, in fact, a very friendly ward and the staff didn’t mind that Candy had a few questions every now and then. But as she went to do Macey’s medications, Candy frowned and looked around for Abigail, but she was in with Mrs Douglas, who was very sick indeed.
‘Problem?’ Steele had come onto the ward and was writing up some medication for a patient who wasn’t Candy’s.
‘No, I just want to check something,’ Candy said, taking the prescription chart over to him. ‘Macey’s written up for sherry, but she’s on a lot of other medication.’
‘No doubt she’ll be having the sherry when she gets home,’ Steele pointed out. ‘Though I don’t think you have to worry about it tonight—she’s not having her sherry at the moment. She’s not really having much of anything.’
He was right. Candy was shocked at the change in Macey. She’d been a fierce, proud woman when she had arrived in the emergency department but now she just lay on her side and stared into space. She didn’t say anything when Candy introduced herself and her arm was listless when Candy checked her blood pressure.
‘I’ve got your tablets for you, Macey,’ Candy explained, and she helped her to sit up to take them. The old lady took her tablets without a word of protest and then tried to take the water Candy offered, but her hands were shaking terribly so Candy held the glass and helped her take a drink to wash them down. ‘Sorry, Macey, but can you lift your tongue for me?’
She lifted her tongue and, yes, she had swallowed all the tablets rather than hiding them. Then she lay back down on the pillow.
‘Can I get you anything else?’ Candy offered. ‘A drink?’
Macey gave a small shake of her head and Candy looked at the fluid balance and food charts. She was on an IV, and that was, apart from the water she took with her medicines, practically all that Macey was having at the moment.
‘Macey,’ Candy suggested as she put another blanket on and turned her pillows, ‘why don’t I get you some milk?’
Her lethargy was troubling. Candy would far prefer her to be shouting at her and telling her that she wasn’t a nurse’s bootlace.
‘Some warm milk,’ Candy elaborated. ‘I know your hands are a bit shaky at the moment but I can help you to drink it. Will you have some milk?’
Macey didn’t say yes but at least she didn’t shake her head this time.
Steele looked over and saw Candy hovering, sorting out pillows and blankets on Macey’s bed. He half expected Macey to shout for her to get off as she had done when she’d been with the other nurse that afternoon, but he was pleased to see that tonight Macey didn’t seem to mind the small attention.
Steele liked Candy, which had certainly come as a surprise to him.
The attraction had been instant, yet Candy was nothing like the women Steele usually dated.
Oh, he dated.
A lot.
Steele went for sophisticated women. He liked women who understood right from the start that this could only ever be a fleeting thing for he was never anywhere long. Six months here, two years there and now just six weeks here.
Steele glanced at the date. He had been here almost a week, so make that five weeks he had left at the Royal.
And Candy was away for the final two of them.
Steele had already done the marriage-and-settle-down thing and it hadn’t worked.
Or rather, it had worked, possibly more than he had realised, because ten years on his ex-wife, completely out of the blue, had rung him. Her second marriage had failed and she had suggested that they give it another go. Even before Steele could answer her and say he had never heard a more ridiculous suggestion in his life she had added her little postscript—there was one proviso to them getting back together.
There had been a lot of advances in technology after all.
Ten years on the hurt was there and she had just hit it with a sledgehammer again. His one raw nerve, the one chink in his confident persona, had been exposed again. Steele had promptly hung up on her without response because otherwise he might well have exploded and told her exactly the words that were in his head.
They weren’t pretty.
For Steele, finding out that he was infertile had been a huge blow. His wife’s response to the news had been devastating.
He made sure now he was never in a position to reveal that part of himself again. He kept things light; he kept things intimate sexually rather than emotionally.
Then he moved on.
Candy walked past just then, carrying a feeding cup, and she went over and helped Macey to sit up.
Candy didn’t say anything; she just gave Macey a smile as the elderly lady took sips of the milky drink. That was all Macey wanted for now: no conversation, just a warm drink and the comfort of companionable silence.
Candy was fine with that—she was used to it, in fact.
When she’d been ten, her nonna had come to live with them. Candy’s job in the morning had been to make sure Nonna got her biscotti and milky coffee and then to see her to the bathroom and make up her bed. Candy had loved the mornings—the chatty ones when Nonna had told her all about the village that she had grown up in. The reminiscent ones when Nonna had spoken about falling in love and the parties and dancing. The sad ones—leaving Italy and the death of her husband, Candy’s nonno. Candy had been comfortable too with the silent mornings, when Nonna had just eaten quietly, lost in a world of her own, as Macey was now.
‘Do you want a bedpan?’ Candy offered Macey when the milk was gone.
‘I’ll go …’ Macey sighed and pulled back the bed covers.
Glad to see that she was making the effort to get out of bed, Candy helped her with her slippers and got Macey her walking frame and they walked over to the bathroom.
Candy waited outside and when Macey came to wash her hands Candy sorted the taps and squeezed the soap for her. Macey washed her hands very thoroughly. Her nail varnish was chipped and Candy watched her examine her nails for a moment, clearly less than impressed with the state of her hands.
‘I’ll sort your nails out for you on Sunday,’ Candy offered, and then took Macey back to her bedside, where she asked her to sit for a moment. ‘Sit there and let me make it up all nice and fresh for you to get into.’
Candy made the bed so nicely that she wanted to climb in it herself. ‘You’d better get in quickly or I will.’
‘You look tired,’ Macey said, and Candy smiled at the first invitation to conversation.
‘I am, though I shouldn’t be,’ Candy said. ‘I slept all afternoon.’
She got the older woman into bed, put up the bed rails and tied the call bell to the side. ‘Press it if you need anything,’ Candy said. ‘I hope you have a lovely sleep.’
Candy sorted out her other patients and, by one a.m., when Abigail asked if she’d mind taking the first break, Candy was more than ready for an hour to rest. It would seem she wasn’t the only one who needed a doze, because when she walked into the break room there was Steele, asleep on a sofa with the television on in the background.
‘Aloha,’ he said sleepily, when Candy disturbed him as she took a seat.
‘Aloha.’ Candy smiled. ‘How come you’re still here?’
‘I’m waiting for some relatives to come in for Mrs Douglas.’
Candy remembered from handover that Mrs Douglas wasn’t expected to make it through the night.
‘How long is it now till your holiday?’ Steele asked.
‘Three weeks,’ Candy said, and set her phone alarm for an hour’s time. She saw the date and that it was now Saturday morning. ‘Actually, just under three weeks. I fly on a Friday night.’
‘Are you working right up till then?’
Candy nodded and then yawned at the very thought. ‘I almost go from here to the airport.’
‘Is it just you going?’
‘Yep.’
‘I thought Hawaii was more a couples’ destination,’ Steele said, fishing shamelessly.
‘I think you may be right but I saw an advert and I couldn’t resist,’ Candy admitted and nodded to the television, where an infomercial for knives was showing. ‘It was a limited offer, with a huge discount for the first ten to call … I fall for it every time’
‘Yep.’ Steele nodded. ‘And me. I bought the juicer, the chopper and some blender thing until I finally worked out that nothing is going to make me like vegetables.’
‘It’s one of the perils of working nights,’ Candy agreed. ‘What looks appealing at two a.m. seems stupid when the parcel arrives. Anyway, I saw the advert for the holiday when I was feeling particularly miserable. It looked absolutely beautiful and I really needed to get away …’
‘How come?’
‘Lots of things really.’
‘Such as?’
Candy hesitated. She hadn’t really spoken to anyone about the fact she was considering leaving. She glanced at Steele and realised that by the time she got back from Hawaii he’d be gone, so it really made no difference. ‘I’m not sure if I still want to work in Emergency.’
‘It must be a pretty stressful job.’
‘It is at times.’ Candy nodded. ‘Though it’s not just that. I made a mistake couple of months back.’ She didn’t elaborate; instead, she lay down on the sofa, determined to squeeze in some sleep during her break.
‘A professional mistake?’ Steele probed, and Candy let out a small laugh at his very direct question.
‘No, it was a personal one.’
‘Do tell.’
‘No way.’
‘So there are two things I have to find out about you now,’ Steele teased. ‘The story behind your name and the mistake that Nurse Candy made.’
‘You can try, but it won’t get you anywhere,’ Candy said, and closed her eyes. ‘I’m going to have a little rest.’
‘Hopefully you talk in your sleep.’
She smiled with her eyes closed and was mildly surprised when after a moment or so Steele continued to speak.
‘We all make mistakes, Candy,’ he said. His lovely deep voice was soothing and broke into her semi-doze. ‘If I’ve learnt one thing in this job, it’s that everyone makes so-called mistakes and also that everyone wastes way too much time regretting them.’
She opened her eyes and looked at him. ‘You really do like your job,’ Candy said, and it wasn’t a question, more an observation, and Steele nodded.
‘I really do.’
Yes, she should sleep and her aching body might regret it later but she chose to forgo the full hour of sleep just to find out a little more about him. She lay there and peeked over to Steele, who was still looking at her.
‘Did you always want to work in geriatrics?’
‘Not really,’ Steele said. ‘It sort of found me, I guess. I was pretty much raised by my grandmother …’
‘Are your parents …?’ Her voice trailed off and Steele grinned.
‘They’re not dead.’
‘Good.’
‘My parents are both doctors and were very serious about their careers. I was a late accident. I don’t think they ever really wanted to have children. My mother was a top thoracic surgeon—which means she had balls.’
Candy laughed.