Death at the Dolphin

CHAPTER 2

Mr Greenslade

‘I know that,’ Peregrine said. ‘You don’t need to keep on at it, Jer. I know there’s always been a Bardic racket and that since the quarto-centenary it’s probably been stepped up. I know about the tarting-up of old portraits with dome foreheads and the fake signatures and “stol’n and surreptitious copies” and phoney “discovered” documents and all that carry-on. I know the overwhelming odds are against this glove being anything but a fake. I merely ask you to accept that with the things lying there in front of me, I was knocked all of a heap.’

‘Not only by them, I understand. You were half-drowned, half-drunk, dressed up in a millionaire’s clobber and not knowing whether the owner was making a queer pass at you or not.’

‘I’m almost certain, not.’

‘His behaviour, on your own account, seems to have been, to say the least of it, strange.’

‘Bloody strange but not, I have decided, queer.’

‘Well, you’re the judge,’ said Jeremy Jones. He bent over his work-table and made a delicate slit down a piece of thin cardboard. He was building a set to scale for a theatre-club production of Venice Preserved. After a moment he laid aside his razor-blade, and looked up at Peregrine. ‘Could you make a drawing of it?’ he said.

‘I can try.’

Peregrine tried. He remembered the glove very clearly indeed and produced a reasonable sketch.

‘It looks OK,’ Jeremy said. ‘Late sixteenth century. Elaborate in the right way. Tabbed. Embroidered. Tapering to the wrist. And the leather?’

‘Oh, fine as fine. Yellow and soft and wrinkled and old, old, old.’

‘It may be an Elizabethan or Jacobean glove but the letter could be a forgery.’

‘But why? Nobody’s tried to cash in on it.’

‘You don’t know. You don’t know anything. Who was this chum Conducis bought it from?’

‘He didn’t say.’

‘And who was M.E. whose dear grandma insisted it had belonged to the poet?’

‘Why ask me? You might remember that the great-great-grandmother was left it by a Mrs J. Hart. And that Joan Hart –’

‘Née Shakespeare, was left wearing-apparel by her brother. Yes. The sort of corroborative details any good faker would cock up. But, of course, the whole thing should be tackled by experts.’

‘I told you: I said so. I said: wouldn’t he take it to the V. and A. And he gave me one of his weird looks; furtive, scared, blank – I don’t know how you’d describe them – and shut up like a clam.’

‘Suspicious in itself!’ Jeremy grinned at his friend and then said: ‘“I would I had been there”.’

‘Well, at that, “it would have much amazed you”.’

‘“Very like. Very like” What do we know about Conducis?’

‘I can’t remember with any accuracy,’ Peregrine said. ‘He’s an all-time-high for money, isn’t he? There was a piece in one of the Sunday supplements some time back. About how he loathes publicity and does a Garbo and leaves Mr Gulbenkian wondering what it was that passed him. And how he doesn’t join in any of the joy and is thought to be a fabulous anonymous philanthropist. A Russian mum, I think it said, and an Anglo-Rumanian papa.’

‘Where does he get his pelf?’

‘I don’t remember. Isn’t it always oil? “Mystery Midas” it was headed and there was a photograph of him looking livid and trying to dodge the camera on the steps of his bank and a story about how the photographer made his kill. I read it at the dentist’s.’

‘Unmarried?’

‘I think so.’

‘How did you part company?’

‘He just walked out of the room. Then his man came in and said the car was waiting to bring me home. He gave me back my revolting, stinking pocket book and said my clothes had gone to the cleaner and were thought to be beyond salvation. I said something about Mr Conducis and the man said Mr Conducis was taking a call from New York and would “quite understand”. Upon which hint, off I slunk. I’d better write a sort of bread-and-butter, hadn’t I?’

‘I expect so. And he owns The Dolphin and is going to pull it down and put up, one supposes, another waffle-iron on the South Bank?’

‘He’s “turning over the idea” in his mind.’

‘May it choke him,’ said Jeremy Jones.

‘Jer,’ Peregrine said. ‘You must go and look at it. It’ll slay you. Wrought iron. Cherubs. Caryatids. A wonderful sort of potpourri of early and mid-Vic and designed by an angel. O God, God when I think of what could be done with it.’

‘And this ghastly old Croesus –’

‘I know. I know.’

And they stared at each other with the companionable indignation and despair of two young men whose unfulfilled enthusiasms coincide.

They had been at the same drama school together and had both decided that they were inclined by temperament, interest and ability to production rather than performance in the theatre. Jeremy finally settled for design and Peregrine for direction. They had worked together and apart in weekly and fortnightly repertory and had progressed to more distinguished provincial theatres and thence, precariously, to London. Each was now tolerably well-known as a coming man and both were occasionally subjected to nerve-racking longueurs of unemployment. At the present juncture Peregrine had just brought to an auspicious opening the current production at The Unicorn and had seen his own first play through a trial run out of London. Jeremy was contemplating a décor for a masque which he would submit to an international competition for theatrical design.

He had recently bought a partnership in a small shop in Walton Street where they sold what he described as: ‘Very superior tatt. Jacobean purses, stomachers and the odd cod-piece.’ He was a fanatic on authenticity and had begun to acquire a reputation as an expert.

Jeremy and Peregrine had spent most of what they had saved on leasing and furnishing their studio flat and had got closer than was comfortable to a financial crisis. Jeremy had recently become separated from a blonde lady of uncertain temper: a disentanglement that was rather a relief to Peregrine who had been obliged to adjust to her unpredictable descents upon their flat.

Peregrine himself had brought to uneventful dissolution an affair with an actress who had luckily discovered in herself the same degree of boredom that he, for his part, had hesitated to disclose. They had broken up with the minimum of ill-feeling on either part and he was, at the moment, heartfree and glad of it.

Peregrine was dark, tall and rather mischievous in appearance. Jeremy was of medium stature, reddish in complexion and fairly truculent. Behind a prim demeanour he concealed an amorous inclination. They were of the same age: twenty-seven. Their flat occupied the top storey of a converted warehouse on Thames-side east of Blackfriars. It was from their studio window about a week ago, that Peregrine, idly exploring the South Bank through a pair of fieldglasses, had spotted the stage-house of The Dolphin, recognized it for what it was and hunted it down. He now walked over to the window.

‘I can just see it,’ he said. ‘There it is. I spent the most hideous half-hour of my life, so far, inside that theatre. I ought to hate the sight of it but, by God, I yearn after it as I’ve never yearned after anything ever before. You know if Conducis does pull it down I honestly don’t believe I’ll be able to stay here and see it happen.’

‘Shall we wait upon him and crash down on our knees before him crying, “Oh, sir, please sir, spare The Dolphin, pray do, sir”.’

‘I can tell you exactly what the reaction would be. He’d back away as if we smelt and say in that deadpan voice of his that he knew nothing of such matters.’

‘I wonder what it would cost.’

‘To restore it? Hundreds of thousands no doubt,’ Peregrine said gloomily. ‘I wonder if National Theatre has so much as thought of it. Or somebody. Isn’t there a society that preserves Ancient Monuments?’

‘Yes. But “I know nothing of such matters”,’ mocked Jeremy. He turned back to his model. With a degree of regret to which wild horses wouldn’t have persuaded him to confess, Peregrine began packing Mr Conducis’s suit. It was a dark charcoal tweed and had been made by a princely tailor. He had washed and ironed the socks, undergarments and shirt that he had worn for about forty minutes and had taken a box that Jeremy was hoarding to make up the parcel.

‘I’ll get a messenger to deliver it,’ he said.

‘Why on earth?’

‘I don’t know. Too bloody shy to go myself.’

‘You’d only have to hand it over to the gilded lackey.’

‘I’d feel an ass.’

‘You’re mad,’ said Jeremy briefly.

‘I don’t want to go back there. It was all so rum. Rather wonderful, of course, but in a way rather sinister. Like some wish-fulfilment novel.’

‘The wide-eyed young dramatist and the kindly recluse.’

‘I don’t think Conducis is kindly but I will allow and must admit I was wide-eyed over the glove. You know what?’

‘What?’

‘It’s given me an idea.’

‘Has it, now? Idea for what?’

‘A play. I don’t want to discuss it.’

‘One must never discuss too soon, of course,’ Jeremy agreed. ‘That way abortion lies.’

‘You have your points.’

In the silence that followed they both heard the metallic clap of the letter box downstairs.

‘Post,’ said Jeremy.

‘Won’t be anything for us.’

‘Bills.’

‘I don’t count them. I daren’t,’ said Peregrine.

‘There might be a letter from Mr Conducis offering to adopt you.’

‘Heh, heh, heh.’

‘Do go and see,’ Jeremy said. ‘I find you rather oppressive when you’re clucky. The run downstairs will do you good.’

Peregrine wandered twice round the room and absently out at the door. He went slowly down their decrepit staircase and fished in their letter box. There were three bills (two, he saw, for himself), a circular and a typed letter.

‘Peregrine Jay, Esq. By Hand.’

For some reason that he could not have defined, he didn’t open the letter. He went out-of-doors and walked along their uneventful street until he came to a gap through which one could look across the river to Southwark. He remembered afterwards that his bitch-muse as he liked to call her was winding her claws in his hair. He stared unseeing at a warehouse that from here partly obscured The Dolphin: Phipps Bros, perhaps, where the man with the oil-can – Jobbins – worked. A wind off the river whipped his hair back. Somewhere downstream a hooting set up. Why, he wondered idly, do river-craft set up gaggles of hooting all at once? His right hand was in his jacket pocket and his fingers played with the letter.

With an odd sensation of taking some prodigious step he suddenly pulled it out of his pocket and opened it.

Five minutes later Jeremy heard their front door slam and Peregrine come plunging up the stairs. He arrived, white-faced and apparently without the power of speech.

‘What now, for pity’s sake,’ Jeremy asked. ‘Has Conducis tried to kidnap you?’

Peregrine thrust a sheet of letter paper into his hand.

‘Go on,’ he said. ‘Bloody read it, will you. Go on.’

Dear Sir, Jeremy read. I am directed by Mr V. M. G. Conducis to inform you that he has given some consideration to the matter of The Dolphin Theatre, Wharfingers Lane, which he had occasion to discuss with you this morning. Mr Conducis would be interested to have the matter examined in greater detail. He suggests, therefore, that to this end you call at the office of Consolidated Oils, Pty Ltd, and speak to Mr S. Greenslade who has been fully informed of the subject in question. I enclose for your convenience a card with the address and a note of introduction.

I have ventured to make an appointment for you with Mr Greenslade for 11.30 tomorrow (Wednesday). If this is not a convenient time perhaps you will be good enough to telephone Mr Greenslade’s secretary before 5.30 this evening.

Mr Conducis asks me to beg that you will not trouble yourself to return the things he was glad to be able to offer after your most disagreeable accident for which, as he no doubt explained, he feels a deep sense of responsibility. He understands that your own clothes have been irretrievably spoilt and hopes that you will allow him to make what he feels is a most inadequate gesture by way of compensation. The clothes, by the way, have not been worn. If, however, you would prefer it, he hopes that you will allow him to replace your loss in a more conventional manner.

Mr Conducis will not himself take a direct part in any developments that may arise in respect of The Dolphin and does not wish at any juncture to be approached in the matter. Mr Greenslade has full authority to negotiate for him at all levels.

With Compliments,

I am,

Yours truly,

M. SMYTHIMAN

(Private Secretary to Mr Conducis)

‘Not true,’ Jeremy said, looking over the tops of his spectacles.

‘True. Apparently. As far as it goes.’

Jeremy read it again. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘at least he doesn’t want you to approach him. We’ve done him wrong, there.’

‘He doesn’t want to set eyes on me, thank God.’

‘Were you passionately eloquent, my poor Peregrine?’

‘It looks as if I must have been, doesn’t it? I was plastered, of course.’

‘I have a notion,’ Jeremy said with inconsequence, ‘that he was once wrecked at sea.’

‘Who?’

‘Conducis, you dolt. Who but? In his yacht.’

‘Was his yacht called Kalliope?’

‘I rather think so. I’m sure it went down.’

‘Perhaps my predicament reminded him of the experience.’

‘You know,’ Jeremy said, ‘I can’t really imagine why we’re making such a thing of this. After all, what’s happened? You look at a derelict theatre. You fall into a fetid well from which you are extricated by the owner who is a multi-millionaire. You urge in your simple way the graces and excellence of the theatre. He wonders if, before he pulls it down, it might just be worth getting another opinion. He turns you over to one of his myrmidons. Where’s the need for all the agitation?’

‘I wonder if I should like M. Smythiman if I met him and if I shall take against S. Greenslade at first sight. Or he against me, of course.’

‘What the hell does that matter? You place far too much importance upon personal relationships. Look at the fatuous way you go on about your women. And then suspecting poor Mr Conducis of improper intentions when he never wants to look upon your like again!’

‘Do you suggest that I accept his gorgeous apparel?’ Peregrine asked on an incredulous note.

‘Certainly, I do. It would be rude and ungenerous and rather vulgar to return it with a po-faced note. The old boy wants to give you his brand new clobber because you mucked up your own in his dirty great well. You should take it and not slap him back as if he’d tried to tip you.’

‘If you had seen him you would not call him an old boy. He is the uncosiest human being I have ever encountered.’

‘Be that as it may, you’d better posh yourself up and wait upon S. Greenslade on the stroke of 11.30.’

Peregrine said, after a pause, ‘I shall do so, of course. He says nothing about the letter and glove, you observe.’

‘Nothing.’

‘I shall urge S. Greenslade to get it vetted at the V. and A.’

‘You jolly well do.’

‘Yes, I will. Well, Jer, as you say, why make a thing? If by some wild, rapturous falling-out of chance, I could do anything to save the life of The Dolphin I would count myself amply rewarded. But it will, of course, only be a rum little interlude and, in the meantime, here’s the latest batch of bills.’

‘At least,’ Jeremy said, ‘there won’t be a new one from your tailors for some time to come.’

II

Mr S. Greenslade was bald, pale, well-dressed and unremarkable. His office was quietly sumptuous and he was reached through a hinterland of equally conservative but impressive approaches. He now sat, with a file under his hand, a distinguished painting behind him, and before him, Peregrine, summoning all the techniques of the theatre in order to achieve relaxation.

‘Mr Jay,’ Mr Greenslade said, ‘you appreciate, of course, the fact that your meeting yesterday with Mr Conducis has led to this appointment.’

‘I suppose so. Yes.’

‘Quite. I have here a digest, as it were, of a – shall I say a suggestion you made to Mr Conducis as he recollects it. Here it is.’

Mr Greenslade put on his spectacles and read from the paper before him.

‘Mr Jay proposed that The Dolphin Theatre should be restored to its former condition and that a company should be established there performing Shakespeare and other plays of a high cultural quality. Mr Jay suggested that The Dolphin is a building of some cultural worth and that, historically speaking, it is of considerable interest.’

Mr Greenslade looked up at Peregrine. ‘That was, in fact, your suggestion?’

‘Yes. Yes. It was. Except that I hate the word culture.’

‘Mr Jay, I don’t know if you are at all informed about Mr Conducis’s interests.’

‘I – no – I only know he’s – he’s –’

‘Extremely wealthy and something of a recluse?’ Mr Greenslade suggested with a slight, practised smile.

‘Yes.’

‘Yes.’ Mr Greenslade removed his spectacles and placed them delicately in the centre of his writing pad. Peregrine thought he must be going to make some profound revelation about his principal. Instead he merely said: ‘Quite’ again and after a dignified silence asked Peregrine if he would be good enough to tell him something about himself. His schooling, for example, and later career. He was extremely calm in making this request.

Peregrine said he had been born and educated in New Zealand, had come to England on a drama bursary and had remained there.

‘I am aware, of course, of your success in the theatrical field,’ said Mr Greenslade and Peregrine supposed that he had been making some kind of confidential inquiries.

‘Mr Jay,’ said Mr Greenslade, ‘I am instructed to make you an offer. It is, you may think, a little precipitant. Mr Conducis is prepared to consider the rehabilitation of the theatre, subject, of course, to favourable opinions from an architect and from building authorities and to the granting of necessary permits. He will finance this undertaking. On one condition.’ Mr Greenslade paused.

‘On one condition?’ Peregrine repeated in a voice that cracked like an adolescent’s.

‘Exactly. It is this. That you yourself will undertake the working management of The Dolphin. Mr Conducis offers you, upon terms to be arrived at, the post of organizing the running of the theatre, planning its artistic policy, engaging the company and directing the productions. You would be given a free hand to do this within certain limits of expenditure which would be set down in this contract. I shall be glad to hear what your reactions are to this, at its present stage, necessarily tentative proposal.’

Peregrine suppressed a frightening inclination towards giving himself over to maniac laughter. He looked for a moment into Mr Greenslade’s shrewd and well-insulated face and he said:

‘It would be ridiculous of me to pretend that I am anything but astonished and delighted.’

‘Are you?’ Mr Greenslade rejoined. ‘Good. In that case I shall proceed with the preliminary investigations. I, by the way, am the solicitor for a number of Mr Conducis’s interests. If and when it comes to drawing up contracts I presume I should negotiate with your agents?’

‘Yes. They are –’

‘Thank you,’ said Mr Greenslade, ‘Messrs Slade and Opinger, I believe?’

‘Yes,’ said Peregrine, wondering if at any stage of his tipsy rhapsody he had mentioned them to Mr Conducis and rather concluding that he hadn’t.