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“About what would the job pay?” Ted asked curiously.
“If someone did a good job, more than they would make in an office. For a real hustler, I would be willing to work out a salary-plus-commission job,” she said, trying to figure out why he was asking her all these questions.
“What does the job entail?” he asked.
“Being able to keep up with me,” she said kidding.
“I can do that,” he said cockily. “Consider me.”
Megan was surprised. “Why? Are you tired of the retail scene? Or do you want to see what the other half does?” she teased.
Ted looked embarrassed. “No. I lost my job months ago. I haven’t been able to find steady work since. All I’ve looked for is white-collar work, but I need a job and I need it now,” he said seriously.
Megan looked away, thinking. Lord, is this the employee I’ve been praying for? Show me! She turned back to Ted. “If you’re serious, be at Meadow Flowers tomorrow morning at eight o’clock sharp,” she said briskly, and left.
Ted showed up before she got to work the next morning. It had been a hard day, she recalled. She nearly worked him into the ground. He had been working for her ever since. She kept her word; when business grew, so did his paycheck. Ted had definitely been the employee she’d prayed for.
Now Megan had two more full-time employees, and Zack worked part time. Looking back, overall, life had been pretty good. She had few complaints. Though she could use a little more free time…and do without people like Mr. Carlyle.
It always did Megan good to remember her humble beginnings. Her life was in God’s hands. She needed to please Him. That was the most important thing.
As the sun began to drop behind the mountains, Megan trekked back down the hill to the farmhouse. It was so empty without the children. She had thought a night by herself might be fun. It wasn’t! She found herself wandering from one room to the next as though looking for someone. Finally she went to bed.
Unable to sleep, other memories came into play. Megan began to hear Mr. Carlyle’s accusing words. “You probably ran him off…ran him off…ran him off…” She looked at the empty place beside her as the words echoed.
She’d gone over this so many times, but she’d never come to a conclusion. Maybe because she’d never heard Mitchell’s side of the story.
She’d been pregnant with Jess. The pregnancy was difficult from the start, kind of like Jess. She had gone to see Doc Crawford for a routine checkup. Her blood pressure had been excessively high. Doc slapped her in the hospital before she had time to argue with him about it.
Once in the hospital, all Megan wanted was to see Mitchell. Ruth had an awful time finding him. He had been fired from his job and hadn’t bothered to tell his family. Ruth finally tracked him down at a local bar and drove him straight to the hospital, hoping he would sober up before Megan saw him.
One look at her bleary-eyed husband made her face things she had been refusing to see. He confessed that he had lost his job, blaming it on everyone but himself. Doc pulled him aside and tried to talk some sense into him. Then Ruth drove him home to let him sober up, while she picked up Zack from school.
Later, Mitchell came back to the hospital. He was still in a self-inflicted alcoholic fog. Megan reached for him. “Mitch, what’s wrong?”
He came closer and gave her his hand. She took it in both of hers and kissed the palm, then pulled him closer. He looked away, unable to face her.
“Mitchell, I love you,” she whispered. She ran her hand through his dirty, tousled hair and down the side of his face, cupping his chin. She waited for their eyes to meet. His were bloodshot and seemed vacant “We can’t go on like this,” she said gently. “You need help. Don’t you understand? I need help, too,” she pleaded, hoping to see some understanding in his eyes.
He shrugged as if it were of little importance. He seemed to want to get away.
His careless attitude caused something in Megan to snap. All the things she had been thinking, but never daring to say, came shooting out “Mitchell, something is going to change. I will not lose this baby worrying about you. It’s time for you to get straight, grow up and accept some responsibility. I need a husband I can depend on. Zack needs a father, not a playmate. When are you going to be there for us, instead of off somewhere with your buddies or lost in a bottle?” Megan began to tear up. “We love you. Why can’t you see that?”
She steadied herself. “I know everything seems awful right now, but it will all work out if we just hold on together and trust God to help us.”
“When are you coming home?” Mitchell had slurred, ignoring her words.
“In a day or two,” said Megan wearily.
“Meg, I never meant for things to get like this,” Mitchell finally admitted.
Tears began to run down Megan’s face. “I know, but they have.”
Mitchell put his head on her chest and let her comfort him. But when Mitchell left, she knew that they hadn’t made any progress.
The next evening Mitchell came to visit again. He was on edge and couldn’t seem to sit still.
“Mitch, I’ve made a decision,” Megan said evenly. “I’m not sharing you anymore. You have to make a choice which you want more—me and Zack, or drinking. You can’t have it both ways. I love you with all my heart, but you’re heading down the wrong road and I’m not going with you. I’ll help you with anything, but things can’t go on the way they are,” she said.
She waited for some kind of response. When she got none, she continued. “If you choose the path you’re on, we’ll have some decisions to make, because one of us is leaving. And know this Mitchell, if you’re ever unfaithful to me, it’s over. I’ll never want to see you again. I want us together as a family. I hope you want that, too.” She had stayed strong until she said this. Then she broke down and cried.
Mitchell carefully took her in his arms and held her. “You know I love you, Meg. There’s never been anyone else, never will be. I love you and Zack. We’ll be okay.”
His words had comforted her for the moment, but the problem had never been other women. It had been alcohol, and nights out with his “ol’ buddies.”
The next day Megan was released from the hospital. Instead of Mitchell picking her up, Doc drove her home. As soon as she came into the apartment, she knew something was wrong. Zack was there with his grandmother and he rushed into her arms.
Megan turned to Ruth for an explanation and her mother-in-law handed her a note.
Dear Meg,
You’re all better off without me. I’m sorry.
I love you,
Mitch
Shattered under the weight of these few words, Megan had collapsed to the floor.
Remembering that day still hurt physically and emotionally. Mitch hadn’t even tried to work things out. He’d just packed up and left town. Megan hadn’t heard from him since.
Occasionally, Mitchell sent his mother money for the children. Otherwise Megan wouldn’t have been sure he was still alive. He never let her know where he was staying or what he was doing. He had cut them all out of his life.
The kids came home after their night away, and life was back to normal.
One afternoon Zack came rushing into the shop after school. “Mom, can I borrow the truck? There’s a young adult conference being held at the civic center in Roanoke tonight. Some of my friends and I thought we’d go.”
“Why is it in Roanoke?” she asked, disturbed by the distance.
“There’s no place here big enough. It’s for all the area high-school students. My teachers recommended that we go. They’re even offering extra credit to the students who attend. The only catch is that we have to write a one-page report on the conference.”
Megan frowned skeptically. She didn’t like the idea of Zack driving late at night.
“Come on, Mom, I know it’s a forty-five minute drive, but I need the extra credit. It’s Friday night, so it won’t matter if I’m a little late, will it?”
“What’s it all about?” his mother asked grudgingly.
“You should like this! They are supposed to help us understand taking responsibility for ourselves as young adults. They’re going to cover a range of subjects like how to handle finances, how to get college aide money, being responsible for moral behavior and substance abuse. It’s being sponsored by the area churches,” Zack told her.
It sounded pretty good, but Megan was still undecided. “I’m sure they mentioned it before today. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“My calculus teacher pulled me aside today and asked me if I was going tonight I told her no. She said if I would go, she would take my last quiz score off my grade. That would really help me in that class,” he admitted.
She knew he was struggling with calculus. “I guess it will be okay,” she said reluctantly, wanting to protect him like a mother hen, yet knowing he had to grow up.
“Thanks, Mom!” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and dashed off. Having permission to drive to Roanoke meant more to him than any lectures he and his friends would hear. It made the new driver feel like a big shot.
Megan prayed. It was the only thing she could do. Lord, I put Zack and his friends in Your hands and ask You to watch over and protect them. In Jesus’ name, amen.
It was after one o’clock before Zack came in that night. Megan was still up reading her Bible, waiting for him. Zack came to the opened door of his mother’s bedroom. “I’m home safe and sound,” he announced.
“Good, I was about to send out a search party,” she teased. “So how was it?”
Zack stared at his mother for a few seconds, then he went to her dresser and fiddled with the things on top. “It really wasn’t what I expected at all,” he admitted. “They had food and music and all kinds of stuff.”
“Well, did you learn anything?” Megan asked, trying to get a little information.
“Yeah, actually I got more than I expected out of going,” he said quietly.
Megan frowned. Usually he wanted to tell her everything, word for word. “Were the speakers interesting?” she asked, hoping to draw him out a little.
“It’s late. I’ll tell you about it another time. Okay?” he said, turning to face her.
“Sure, you can tell me about it tomorrow. I’m glad you’re home,” she said, but she knew something wasn’t right.
Zack walked out mumbling good-night.
“Sleep well!” Megan called, wondering if he and his friends had even gone to the conference. The way he was acting, she suspected they may have gone joy-riding instead!
Chapter Two
It was one of those rare afternoons when things were slow at Meadow Flowers. “Why don’t you let me close up today?” Ted offered.
“You know, that sounds kind of nice,” Megan agreed, knowing Ted was eager for more responsibility. She went home and put a roast in the oven for dinner. Zack was picking up Jess after school.
Megan turned on her “old music,” as the kids called it, and stretched out on the sofa. Closing her eyes, she tried to relax.
She was just beginning to unwind when someone knocked on the front door. No one ever came to the front door, except salesmen and uninvited guests. Reluctantly, she got up. Before she could reach the door, another sequence of hard knocks erupted. Somewhat irritated by the visitor’s impatience, Megan yanked open the door.
Her uninvited guest watched as the color drained from her face. He threw open the screen when she began to sway, and caught her just before she fell.
The man’s touch affected her like a lightning bolt. Megan jerked free, glared at him for a moment, then bolted into the depths of the house. Warily, he followed, and found her draped over the kitchen sink, heaving. Grabbing a towel, he wet it, then put it against her forehead.
Megan shoved him away and buried her face in the wet towel. As she regained a little of her composure, she straightened up.
“Well, you’re the last person I expected to see at the door. So…how are you, Mitchell?” Megan said, staring at him with enough anger in her eyes to sear him.
Mitchell looked away, disarmed by her fury. “I’ve been worse.”
“What are you doing here?” she asked, dazed.
“I was in town on business. I thought I’d come by and see the kids…and you,” he said hesitantly.
“Well, the children aren’t here and you can see I’m not doing too well,” she said crisply, as she wiped her face again. “Maybe it would be better if you left.”
“I just wanted to see all of you. I didn’t come to cause any trouble.”
“Just like that, Mitchell! You decide to drop by after ten years! Excuse me for not expecting you!” Her temper flared.
“I was afraid to call. I figured you’d refuse to see me,” he admitted.
Megan surveyed the visitor. His dark brown hair was tousled, as usual, with a bit of gray around the edges. He was wearing gray slacks, a white shirt and a red print tie. Not even close to the former dress of this man. He looked very fit and handsome. Her eyes met his. She looked for signs of alcohol, but saw only sadness. “Why are you back?”
“I couldn’t stay away any longer. It was time to come back,” he said softly.
“As always, you’ve only thought of yourself,” she snapped. “You come and go when it suits you. You don’t give a thought to how it will affect anyone else.”
“Is that what you think?” he asked, looking disappointed.
“What else should I think?”
“That maybe I’ve changed. That I love all of you. That I need to see my family.”
“Maybe we don’t need to see you. All you’ll do at this point is disrupt the children’s lives and upset them. We’ve gotten along fine without you so far.”
“I know it seems selfish, but I need to see them,” Mitchell said quietly.
“They aren’t here. You could stop by again in ten years or so.” She lashed out like a whip, and saw him flinch.
Before he could recover, the kitchen door flew open. Zack and Jess came hurrying in. Both stopped short at the sight of the man in the kitchen. Momentarily, Zack stared, then he rushed into his arms. “Dad!” The two held each other tightly, and time seemed to stop.
Jess stood back watching, obviously horrified.
After a long moment, father and son relinquished the hold they had on one another. Mitchell took his son’s face in his hands. “I missed you so much!”
“I missed you, too!” Zack exclaimed, tears rising in his eyes.
Mitchell turned to his daughter. “Jessica, I’m your daddy,” he said gently.
“Don’t you touch me!” Jess said distastefully, giving him a cold stare.
Zack nudged her. “Jess, it’s Dad!”
She shook her head, her eyes daring him to come near her.
“Maybe I should go,” Mitchell said.
“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” Zack asked suddenly.
Now it was Megan’s turn to look astonished.
Everyone was unsure how to proceed. Then Jess brought things to a complete standstill. “You’re not my father and you never will be.” She sneered. Her words had the same effect as a slap across the face. She looked at the hurt expression on Mitchell’s face, then ran to her room.
“She didn’t mean it, Dad,” Zack said, trying to salvage the moment.
“She meant it. I don’t blame her for feeling that way. I’m a lousy father,” Mitchell admitted, discouraged. He turned to leave.
Zack looked to his mother for help. “Mom!”
Megan couldn’t imagine how it would feel to have your child completely reject you. For a moment she felt sorry for Mitchell. Zack was giving her a pleading look. “We have plenty,” was all she could think to say. Not exactly an invitation, just a statement of fact.
Mitchell glanced at her. Then he looked at his son.
“Please, Dad. Don’t go,” Zack begged, flinging himself against his father in a crushing hold.
Megan watched the tender scene, heard them both sniffing. It was too much for her. She slipped out the back door and sat on the steps, trying to grasp the implications of this unannounced visit.
Before long Zack came out and sat beside her. “Mom, please don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad at you,” she said calmly.
“Can Dad stay for dinner?” he asked.
Megan put herself in Mitchell’s place. It was a very grim picture. Zack wanted his father to stay so badly. She touched her son’s cheek. “Dinner will be ready soon.”
“Thanks, Mom,” he said, hugging her and dashing back inside.
A few minutes before Megan put dinner on the table, she went to get Jess from her room. “Dinner is almost ready,” she said, entering the bedroom.
“Is he staying?” Jess asked from her prone position across the bed.
“Yes. Zack wanted him to stay,” her mother admitted.
“Then I’m not coming down,” Jess said defiantly.
“Dinner will be on the table in five minutes. Be there!” Megan ordered, leaving no room for compromise.
She put everything on the table before she called everyone, thinking the less time spent with Mitchell, the better.
Zack came into the kitchen with Mitchell close behind. They sat down in silence. A few minutes passed. Mitchell dared to speak. “Isn’t Jessica joining us?”
“She’ll be here,” Megan stated confidently.
Within seconds Jess came in and took her place. Megan bowed her head and blessed the food. Then they proceeded with the meal without a word.
To break the hush, Mitchell asked Zack, “What subjects are you taking in school?”
Zack seemed relieved to have something to talk about. “English, Spanish, biology and calculus. I’m doing pretty good, but I’m having a little trouble with calculus,” he said, and went on describing his activities.
Jess occasionally peeked at Mitchell, while Megan seemed to be involved in creative food arranging. Time dragged as they waited for a reasonable amount of time to pass. At last the ordeal was over. The dishes were collected and put in the sink.
“May I be excused?” Jess asked, then escaped to her room.
Megan began washing the dishes, glad for something to do.
“Could I give you a hand?” Mitchell offered.
“No. I can do it by myself,” she told him quietly.
“Let me show you the farm,” Zack said, leading his father outside.
Megan tried to get a grip on herself while they were gone.
When the guys came back twenty minutes later, Mitchell tried to ease the tension. “That was a delicious dinner,” he complimented Megan. “You’ve really got the farm looking great.”
“Thank you,” Megan said, wiping the counter for the ninth time.
Behind Megan’s back, a look passed between the two males. “I have a lot of homework. I guess I better go do it. I’ll see you soon, Dad,” Zack said, giving his father a hug, then hurrying to his room.
Suddenly Megan found herself alone with Mitchell in a silence that was deafening. She went over to the kitchen door and stood beside it.
Taking the hint, Mitchell started for the door, then stopped before her. “You look wonderful,” he said casually.
“Thanks. Well, I guess we’ll see you in another decade or so,” she said curtly, letting him know it was past time to go.
“Megan, I’m moving back to Bedford,” he divulged.
She stared at him in disbelief. She felt like someone had knocked the air out of her.
“Could I ask you a question?” he asked humbly.
She didn’t answer, still stunned by his news.
“Are we still married?” he asked pointedly. When Megan didn’t answer, he picked up her left hand. She was wearing the two rings he’d given her years before.
Megan came to herself and jerked her hand free.
“Are we?” he asked gently, insisting on an answer.
“Yes!” Megan shrieked and pushed the screen door open.
“Could we possibly talk sometime?”
“I don’t see the purpose. We have nothing to talk about.” As soon as he stepped out, she closed and locked the door.
Why did he want to know if they were still married? What was he planning? Why didn’t he just stay gone? It would have been easier that way. “Lord, help me,” Megan said aloud.
After a restless sleep, Megan woke, hoping the night before had only been a nightmare. But the bad dream had been real.
“Dad looked great, didn’t he?” Zack asked cheerfully at breakfast.
Megan studied her son without comment. He’d always dreamed of his dad coming home—his hero.
“Didn’t you think he looked good?” Zack pushed for validation.
“He looked fine,” Megan admitted.
“He looked like you,” Jess said, gawking at Zack. “He’s not coming back is he?”
“Who knows?” Megan said with a shrug, trying to dismiss the matter.
“Of course he’s coming back,” Zack said.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” Megan warned, clearing the table. All kinds of thoughts started hitting her like arrows from an attacker. Then a missile. What if he were coming back to get a divorce so he could remarry? Maybe after that he would try to get custody of the children! Her head began spinning.
After work, Megan was at the kitchen table mulling over the Mitchell dilemma, when Ruth came in. “Want a cup of coffee?” she asked.
“Thanks. From the way you look, I guess he paid you a visit,” Ruth said.
“Yep. Is he staying with you?”
“No! I was shocked to see him. I can’t imagine how you feel,” Ruth added compassionately.
“Frightened,” Megan answered.
“I expected anger or disbelief.”
“Oh, they came first. Didn’t he tell you?”
“No. He came by my house first. We talked for a while. Then he wanted to know his marital status. I told him he should ask you. Soon after, he left.”
Megan’s eyes met her mother-in-law’s. “He asked me the same question. That’s why I’m frightened.” Ruth looked puzzled. “What if he came back to get a divorce? Then to get married again. Next he’ll want custody of my children!”
“Megan, that’s ridiculous. He wouldn’t do that,” Ruth said calmly.
“How do you know? He’s been gone ten years. We don’t know what he’s like anymore!” She knew she was beginning to sound hysterical.
“He just wants to see his family,” Ruth said soothingly.
“You’re his mother. A mother never gives up.”
“Have you given up? Has he been gone too long?”
“I don’t know,” she said thoughtfully. “I opened the front door and it was like looking at a ghost. I’ve never felt so unhinged. He just stood there staring at me. I thought maybe he wasn’t real. I’m not ready for this.”
“When do you think you will be?” Ruth looked at her hopefully.
“I don’t know. Maybe never,” Megan said angrily.
Ruth sipped her coffee. “How did last night go?”
“Well, I almost fainted. Then I threw up. After that the kids came home. Zack was thrilled and invited him to stay for dinner. Jess glared at him like he was an ax murderer. And I was…brittle.”
“Sounds like a fun evening.” Ruth chuckled. “When’s he coming back?”
“I have no idea.” Megan stared into her coffee cup.
“You know he’s going to want to see the kids.”
“I don’t have to let him. He has no part in their lives!” she said defensively.
“No, you don’t. But if he really wants to see them, he can go to court,” she replied realistically. “Why don’t you consider letting him see-them for a couple of hours at a time. Zack’s a big boy, he’ll watch out for Jess.”
“Did he ask you to come over here?” Megan asked suspiciously.
“No, but I’m caught in the middle anyway. It’s not like they’re babies and he could run off with them. If he tried that with Jess, you know he’d be bringing her back in short order when she got through with him.”
Megan laughed at the thought. Then the kids came in and the entire conversation was about Mitchell.
Megan went out to the porch swing. She hadn’t thought of anything else all day. She couldn’t take any more.
Later, Ruth came out to tell her goodbye. “Are you all right?” she asked. Megan shrugged. “You know, you’ll never find out if he’s changed if you don’t give him a chance,” Ruth said.