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“Well, this isn’t awkward at all,” Michelle said.
Sharon whistled in agreement. Then she signed,
“Why don’t you go talk to that Kimmie girl?” Michelle asked Adesina. “She’s nice.”
Adesina shrugged and jammed her hands into the pockets of her faded black jeans. Her vestigial legs gave a little twitch. “I don’t know, Mom,” she said, casting a wary glance at Kimmie. “She’s in the Plano Originals, and now we know they’re hella a-holes. They really seem to have a hate on for jokers.”
“But Kimmie liked you. And she was nice to all of the other kids in the band.” Michelle caught Kimmie’s eye and smiled at her. Kimmie smiled back, but it was tremulous. A tall boy with short blond hair and an athlete’s body leaned down and whispered something in Kimmie’s ear. Kimmie frowned and then glared up at him. She turned on her heel and marched across the room toward the Mob.
“Hey Kimmie.” Segway zipped around Michelle and intercepted her. Kimmie’s face lit up and she gave him a sweet smile.
“Hey there, Peter,” she replied. She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’m glad we get another chance to talk. I’m sorry about how rude the Originals were at orientation. They’re all a lot like Jax, that blond guy in the pink polo shirt. He’s such an idiot. Anyway, he thinks having the Mob in the competition is a publicity stunt.”
What the six degrees of hell? Michelle thought. “The Mob got in here same as everyone else!” she said. Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides. They itched to bubble. Remember Kazakhstan? Stop thinking that way. Blowing someone up isn’t a good problem-solving choice in a room full of high schoolers. Defeating an elder god from a different dimension, yes. Killing a privileged punk from Plano, not so much.
Kimmie held up her hands. “Ms. Pond,” she said quickly, “I don’t agree. The Plano Originals are, well, they’re morons. They’re almost as bad as my moth—”
“Kimberly Coldwater!”
This time Michelle didn’t know the imperious voice, but it appeared as if Kimmie did. Her shoulders came up as she tried to make herself smaller. Her bright smile faded.
“Why on the Good Lord’s green earth are you speaking to these … these … creatures?” A woman dressed like a pastel tornado came barreling across the room. She wore heels almost as high as Jade Blossom would. Even so, she was only a few inches taller than Kimmie. But her presence made it feel as if she was more imposing than that.
She was impeccably attired. A perfectly tailored azalea-colored St. John suit matched her towering heels. Her long nails were lacquered a deep red. She had big hair. It was long with blond streaks and back-combed with a perfect flip at the ends. It was big hair. It was upscale Dallas hair. None of that low-class height, but plenty of volume. A red Hermès bag that matched her nails was slung across her arm.
Holy shit! A real Dallas matriarch! Michelle thought.
“What are you doing to my daughter?” the woman demanded.
“Pretty sure nothing,” Michelle replied. The room had grown quiet again. “But you never know. We’re diabolical like that.”
Kimmie looked miserable. “Mom, please,” she said. “This is Michelle Pond.” Kimmie was trying to do the right thing. Michelle was impressed. Even if her mother was horrible, the daughter had been raised to be polite. “Ms. Pond, this is my mother, Bambi Coldwater.”
“I know that name,” Michelle said, reflexively sticking her hand out. “Hold on, aren’t you the woman who brought the suit to prevent kids with wild cards from playing in competitions like this one?” She pulled her hand away.
Bambi positively preened. “Yes, I am. And I’m proud of it. The members of your band have an unfair advantage. Who knows what special abilities your freaks have? It isn’t fair to the normal children who’ve worked hard to be here.”
“The Fifth Circuit Court said it was,” said Michelle.
Bambi waved her hand as if shooing away a fly. “We’re taking that case to the Supreme Court. Thank Jesus we have conservative justices who will make things right.” She smiled in a way that sent chills down Michelle’s back. How could sweet Kimmie be related to this nightmare?
“Kimmie, come.” Bambi turned on her stiletto heels and marched toward the Plano Originals without looking back. Kimmie turned toward the Mob and mouthed, “Sorry.” Then she followed her mother.
“This is not off to a great start,” Michelle said to Wally. “And speaking of trouble, look. Jade Blossom is here.”
Rusty turned to look. Michelle suspected that his own memories of Haley Mok were no fonder than hers. “Gosh,” he said, and then, “Maybe she’s changed.”
Michelle gave a sigh. “I wouldn’t count on it.”
Jade Blossom’s Brew
by William F. Wu
WHEN JADE BLOSSOM HEARD Dr. Amelia Smith announce her name, she tossed back her long, glistening black hair, put on her pouty catwalk smile, and sashayed into the Gunter Terrace Room.
Applause, cheers, and a few gasps welcomed her as she walked forward in her aqua, canary-yellow, and teal gown by Aquilano Rimondi. Her tiny silver Coach handbag, on a slender strap hanging from her shoulder, swung at the side of her slender frame. The four-slit skirt of Italian silk fluttered around her legs with her stride in silver Jimmy Choo sandals with five-inch heels. She had no interest in high school kids, but here she was.
“Hi, everybody,” Jade Blossom called out, raising her right hand to give a pageant-style wave as the applause and cheers continued. At six feet tall plus the silver sandals, she was able to glance throughout the room. It was jammed with students, staff members, and chaperones, but she spotted a familiar face near a shiny, black grand piano near the center and worked her way toward it.
Ethan Bach, a slender, twenty-something guy in a black silk shirt, gave her a cheerful nod as he waited for her by the piano. He had come to represent Paramount Studios at the competition, which really meant reporting back on how she handled herself. With her personal assistant, Elaine, he constituted the other half of her minor entourage. Elaine was already in the crowd, ready to step up to Jade Blossom’s elbow to obey her slightest whim.
Jade Blossom’s duty at the event was to promote her upcoming film by making some introductory remarks and meeting a high school boy who would be her date for the evening. He would receive this honor by virtue of having written an award-winning essay that had been chosen by the staff members.
The kids parted before her like fish avoiding a shark until she arrived at the piano.
“Look at her,” one girl shrieked with excitement. The giggles of high school girls and the cheers of boys followed.
“Are we here to have some fun?” Jade Blossom called out, holding her slender arms up in a big V shape. She forced a cheerful laugh. With her back to the piano, she turned and looked around at everyone.
“You have an interesting idea of fun.” Michelle, the Amazing Bubbles, stood nearby in the crowd, distinctive given that she was as tall as Jade Blossom and had long, platinum hair. “Perhaps you’re confused about the definition. Fun actually involves some level of enjoyment. And this, not so much.” Bubbles’ green eyes were locked on Jade Blossom’s gaze as if in judgment.
Jade Blossom gave her a playfully fake grin and spoke with equally fake sweetness. “Michelle, how absolutely delightful to see you again.”
Bubbles gave her a cool smile. “Really, that’s what you’re going with? Fake politeness? That is so sad. I mean, I feel so sad-like for you. In the world of sad, this is the saddest. You poor wee thing.”
Jade Blossom let her grin turn to a scowl. She had first met Bubbles on the TV show American Hero a decade or so earlier. Jade Blossom had been on the Clubs team and Bubbles on the Diamonds. From almost the first moment, Jade Blossom had disliked her and felt her disapproval in return. Even so, Jade Blossom had worked with the ensemble well enough to reach the final six contestants. Since that time, she had become embittered about her career after a decade of work for Hollywood bottom-feeders. Now she had a reason to care about her public persona again—or at least pretend.
“Jade Blossom!” Dr. Smith called out. “Maybe you would like to tell everyone a little more about your career.”
“Of course.” Reluctantly breaking eye contact with Bubbles, Jade Blossom again forced a big smile for the crowd and raised her voice. “I’ve been a supermodel in international fashion all my adult life and I’m about to start filming my biggest movie role yet!” She expected applause.
Instead, the teens just stared at her.
Jade Blossom glanced at Bubbles and found a slight smile of amusement on her face.
“Bigger than your role in Truck Stop Vampires 3?” one boy demanded, laughing.
She turned her fake smile in his direction. “I’m not ashamed of any work I’ve done. I think that’s an important lesson in life.”
“She was practically naked in that one,” a girl shouted.
“She was totally naked in Naughty Beach Nymphs 5!” the first boy answered. “That’s my favorite!”
Laughter rippled through the crowd.
“Apparently you saw it,” Jade Blossom called out. “Does your mommy know?”
The kids laughed again.
“I’m not here to slut-shame you,” Bubbles said. “Your body, your choice.” She kept the exaggerated sweetness in her tone. “But you are a delight. I’m certain the kids will be learning all sorts of new and different things from you today.”
Jade Blossom turned away from her, addressing another part of the crowd. “Becoming a fashion model requires dedication. So does acting. And both require a thick skin.”
“Is that why you show so much of it?” a girl behind her shouted, and widespread laughter followed.
Anger burned through Jade Blossom’s blood but she pushed past it. “A lot of you will need the same traits in your lives after high school.”
When she waited for a response, she received only a long silence, with an undertone of whispers and mutters.
“I got one!” A boy off to one side held up his phone. “A nude shot of her! I’ll text it to my whole list!”
The staff members and parents looked around in alarm and ultimately turned their attention to Dr. Smith.
“Good grief,” said Bubbles. “Please just … just don’t.”
Cheers and laughs followed, with many of the kids watching Jade Blossom for a response. The rest were checking their phones to see if the picture had reached them.
“I’ve been quite successful,” Jade Blossom declared, hoping to distract them. “Find a vision for your life, a willingness to work at it—in your own ways. You could follow my example.”
“Eeeyew, slut,” a girl yelled behind her.
Jade Blossom whirled, searching for her in the crowd.
More and more of the kids were focused on their phones, laughing and joking with one another.
Bubbles came closer and spoke quietly. “You’re like a tornado in search of a trailer park. You’re self-destructive, you always have been. Please do everyone a favor and stop talking.”
Jade Blossom looked past her, calling out to the crowd, “You want to compare your lives to mine? My new movie is a remake of Lord Jim starring Leonardo DiCaprio!”
For the first time, some of the kids looked interested. Others busied themselves at the punch bowl.
“Are there women in Lord Jim?” Dr. Smith muttered. “That doesn’t sound right.”
“There’s one in it now,” said Ethan. “Look, Jade Blossom, this isn’t going so well.”
Instead of acknowledging him, Jade Blossom held out her arms and shouted to the crowd, “We’re here for jazz! Jazz is about rebellion! Have any of you ever rebelled?”
Most of the kids were glancing from their phones to Jade Blossom and back, talking and laughing louder than ever.
“Look at your damn pictures later!” Jade Blossom yelled. “I’m here in the flesh! I came to this tank town from L.A. to see if any of you losers might have a future.”
“I don’t think that’s the right tone, Ms. Blossom,” Dr. Smith said quietly.
“Blossom’s not a surname!”
“I suggest we move to the next stage of the program,” said Dr. Smith. “That would be meeting your date.”
“I’m not finished,” Jade Blossom said in a harsh whisper.
Bubbles stepped up in front of her. “Take Dr. Smith’s suggestion. And for the love of all that’s holy, try not to embarrass the poor kid. It’s bad enough he has a ‘date’ with you. And who thought this was a good idea? Seriously, such a bad idea.”
“Just because you can’t wear this ensemble?” Jade Blossom sneered.
“Girl fight!” One of the boys in the crowd laughed. “Get her, why don’t ya?”
Other kids laughed.
“You got screwed by everybody who required a front zipper on American Hero, didn’t you?” Bubbles said quietly. “Drummer Boy, Candle, Spasm, Stuntman, Wild Fox, Hardhat, Berman … Did you nail Joe Twitch too? King Cobalt? Toad Man? Was there anyone who didn’t sample your charms? The rumors were everywhere.”
“And all the rumors are true! I had any man I wanted. But you’re not my type.” Jade Blossom had no problem with anyone else’s sexual preference, but she loved throwing another dig at Bubbles.
“Color me crushed.” Bubbles looked disgusted rather than insulted. “Honey, you are so not my type. I have some standards. Do what you want with your body—”
“I will!”
“—but don’t pretend you were using any other skill set to get ahead.”
Jade Blossom glared back at her. “My studio sent me here to—”
“Publicize a film.” Ethan stepped up. “And we have already provided substantial publicity for this wonderful event.” He lowered his voice. “Uh, Jade Blossom, I’d like a private word with you. Regarding your studio contract.”
“Jade Blossom?” Elaine, her personal assistant, slipped between some kids and spoke up meekly. “Can I help in some way?” A failed model, Elaine had chosen to stay in the business by working for Jade Blossom. Still fashion conscious, she wore a navy-blue Prada suit and white blouse with a very short skirt and black pumps. Her eyes flicked back and forth between Jade Blossom and Bubbles.
“Jade Blossom!” Ethan said. “Come with me right now!” He took hold of her upper arm.
She gave a quick, practiced elbow jab into his solar plexus. “Shut up, little boy.”
Wide-eyed and doubled over in pain, Ethan released her arm. Elaine gasped and pulled Ethan away. “Oh, my, I’m so clumsy,” said Jade Blossom, without taking her eyes off Bubbles.
“Jade Blossom, gosh, so nice to see you again. Easy, all right?” Rustbelt came forward, speaking in his distinctive Iron Range accent as his shovel-scoop jaw moved up and down. He angled his body toward Bubbles. “We can go forward with the program, don’t you think?”
Jade Blossom glared at his back. During American Hero, her teammate Stuntman had said Rustbelt called him a racial insult. She had not been present at the time, but she had always believed Stuntman. She and Rustbelt had a limited, awkwardly polite relationship during the show and she had not seen him again until now.
Rubberband walked in his loose stride from the table full of soft drinks to stand in front of Jade Blossom. He wore a green-and-white-checked sweater and had his hands in his pockets. “Nice to meet you, Jade Blossom. I’m Robin Ruttiger. I was on the second season of American Hero.” He offered his hand.
“I’ve heard of you.” Jade Blossom ignored his hand.
“Cripes,” Rustbelt said to Bubbles. “Come with?”
“For the sake of the event,” said Bubbles.
“I enjoyed watching you the first season of American Hero,” Rubberband added to Jade Blossom.
“When the show was good,” Jade Blossom said, though she kept her eyes on Bubbles’ long, platinum hair as her nemesis turned and walked away through the crowd with Rustbelt. Jade Blossom knew Rubberband was trying to break the tension and she resented it. “You weren’t good enough to make it the first year?”
“I’m sure you were better for the show than I was,” Rubberband said with a little grin.
Jade Blossom watched Bubbles and Rustbelt exit the far end of the Gunter Terrace Room, passing long tables with cheese, salami, baby carrots, and a bowl of red punch that she suspected was spiked by now. By walking away, Bubbles was sending a message: Jade Blossom had been put in her place and they both knew it.
“Come back here, bitch!” Jade Blossom shouted, but she was just putting up a front. The kids laughed again.
“You do so much,” Dr. Smith broke in, projecting her voice so the kids could hear. “I’m so impressed with your success. I’m a huge fan of yours. I can’t wait to try that new skin cream you’ve endorsed.”
Annoyed by the interruption, Jade Blossom looked down at the older woman’s face. “Honey, you can’t afford to wait!”
The crowd roared with laughter.
Dr. Smith’s face tightened with anger. “We asked you here to be an inspiration—”
“Where’s my date?” Jade Blossom demanded, putting her palm up in front of Dr. Smith’s face as she looked over the crowd. “Let’s get on with this charade.”
“Yes, her date,” Elaine called from the crowd. “Good idea!”
“Cesar Chao,” said Dr. Smith, studying the crowd.
Jade Blossom could feel the air moving from vents in the ballroom. Before she took advantage of it, she glanced through the crowd, searching for some hint of Cesar Chao. A joker girl stood out, with a human body the color of obsidian and four vestigial insect arms in addition to two human arms, plus iridescent wings. She had copper-colored dreads and antennae growing from her forehead. Wincing, Jade Blossom kept looking. She spotted someone with wheels instead of legs. Another girl stood out, a slender, very pretty six-footer with dark hair and noticeably large hands. Another guy was covered in peach fuzz and had bubbles rising from the top of his head. Off to one side, a solemn girl in a green T-shirt with a faded logo and worn black jeans watched Jade Blossom without speaking or holding a cell phone.
This was not getting her anywhere. “Chao? Are you hiding, damn it?”
As the crowd buzzed with low-level chatter, she lightened her density to that of the finest French silk. Then she jumped into a current of air from the vents and, moving her arms and expertly using the three-quarter sleeves of her gown, she drifted upward. With just the right shifting of her body, practiced throughout the years since her card had turned, she could stay aloft quite a while at this density as long as she found air currents. Now she floated over the crowd on the slight artificial breeze, with the long, four-slit skirt of her gown fluttering about her long legs.
All the kids and the adult staff and chaperones in the room were watching her, many with mouths open. She knew she was giving the boys a thrill; any teen boys who made the effort could see she was braless and wearing only a thong for panties—and what teen boys wouldn’t make the effort?
“Cesar Chao!” Jade Blossom called out again. “Where are you? Ya too chickenshit to show yourself?”
Finally a couple of boys, grinning like idiots, pointed to one guy in the middle of the crowd. Somebody shoved him forward and he stumbled into an open space.
She drifted over to him and carefully increased her density to land lightly, as the others in the crowd backed off. “So you’re my date for the evening?”
He grinned, embarrassed, and looked down. “Uh, yeah.”
Jade Blossom put her hands on her bony hips and assessed his appearance. He was about five feet nine inches tall, she gauged, making him eight inches shorter than her in the Jimmy Choo sandals. Free of typical teen skin problems, Cesar had black hair in an average haircut. He wore a blue golf shirt with khaki slacks and was a little soft—definitely no athlete. “I guess you’ll do,” she said.
Cesar shrugged and gave an awkward smile.
Hoots of laughter and shouts of encouragement rose up from adolescent male voices. The girls were giggling again.
“Cesar, let’s go get acquainted somewhere,” said Jade Blossom.
“Uh, sure.” Cesar grinned as someone jostled him forward, pushing from behind.
“Come on, laughing boy.” Jade Blossom raised her density to aluminum in case anyone caused trouble and clutched Cesar’s arm. “Walk me out of here.”
“Your hand’s like a rock.”
“Aluminum, damn it. In fact, because we’re touching, you’re about to increase to the same density.” She glared at the kids, teachers, and staff in front of them until they parted to make way, again like fish aware of a shark.
“I am? What’ll happen to me?”
She ignored him. Dr. Smith stepped up in front of her. Two uniformed security guards, both young, beefy men, came with her. “Jade Blossom,” Dr. Smith said, “I’d like to have a word.”
Jade Blossom stepped up close, in Dr. Smith’s personal space, and looked down at her. “I’m going to spend time with my date, just as we all agreed.”
“Your behavior has raised some issues …”
Jade Blossom planted her aluminum-hard hand on Dr. Smith’s forehead and shoved, sending her stumbling backward.
The two security guards moved to block her way. One, with a brass nameplate reading J. CARNAHAN, reached out for her arm.
Jade Blossom knew she was stepping off a metaphorical cliff, but she had never hesitated to do so before. She leaned forward as though she was going to say something privately. Then, just an inch away, she head-butted him in the face, not too hard, and he stepped back, his hand to his nose.
“Oh, my, excuse me.” Jade Blossom gave him her big, fake smile. “I’m just so clumsy, silly me.”
Blood oozed between Carnahan’s fingers. His face contorted with anger, he opened his mouth to speak.
She leaned close and whispered, “You want to show off your bloody nose in front of all these kids? Just shut up and let it go.”
He glared at her, uncertain.
“All right, lady, let’s go.” The other security guard, whose nameplate said H. BERBELIA, reached for her arm.
Before Jade Blossom could respond, Cesar pushed the much larger Berbelia. He barely had an effect, but in return, Berbelia shoved Cesar back two steps. “Out, kid.”
Jade Blossom stabbed her aluminum-hard thumb into Berbelia’s solar plexus and spoke in a harsh whisper. “You’re pushing around a high school boy? Are you going to shove me? The featured guest at this event?”
“Jade Blossom!” Dr. Smith called out. “I’m asking you to leave the premises for good. Cesar, come with me!”
Jade Blossom pushed past Dr. Smith and Cesar hurried to keep up with her.
“Jade Blossom!” Dr. Smith shouted. “This is unacceptable!”
With her signature catwalk pout, Jade Blossom led Cesar out. “Let’s find a bar.” She reduced her density to normal.
“I’m too young to drink.”
“Then a restaurant where I can get a drink.” She slowed enough for him to come up alongside her and then took his arm. “Dude, lead the way.”
“Uh, yeah.”
Protesters out on the sidewalk shouted as they waved their signs: “Jokers no joke! Jokers no joke!”
Members of the news media were asking them questions, snapping photos, and taking video. “There’s Jade Blossom again!” One guy swung his video camera toward her. A man wearing a sidearm eyed Jade Blossom closely and shouted, “Aces ain’t no joke, either!”
She had passed them on her way inside but had taken no notice. “Cesar, who the hell are they?”
“They’re from Purity Baptist Church,” said Cesar. “I gotta admit, jokers kinda give me the creeps.”