Rodeo Sheriff

Chapter Two

Numb.

Honey thought Cole was numb.

If only.

Cole wished to hell he was truly numb all the way through to his core. He wished he never had to feel another emotion in his life again. Then he wouldn’t have to be this raw, pain-ravaged creature.

This aching, furious, grief-stricken man with every nerve exposed and crawling.

His reactions might be slow, but numb? No.

Sandy. His baby sister was gone. Her bright-burning presence would no longer illuminate this world. A shining star of a woman had been snuffed out too early.

He couldn’t wrap his head it. He couldn’t accept that he would never see her again.

Never.

Dennis Engle, her husband, had been a good guy. Cole had liked and respected the man. Gone too young, too.

Cole’s parents were still alive, but he hoped never to see them again in his lifetime.

His family had been reduced to those two orphans on the sofa.

He wasn’t up to this. He’d faced every challenge life had ever thrown at him and had survived. But this?

God.

How—?

God.

There were no words.

Numb?

A bitter laugh burst out of him. If freaking only.

No anesthetic in this world could kill his pain.

He dredged up every trace of strength he had left inside his hollowed-out shell of a soul.

As sheriff, he knew everyone in town. Tanya was good people. He phoned her. She answered on the third ring.

He told her why he was calling. “You wouldn’t start for at least a week, but I need—I need—”

“To get things settled and planned,” she said. “I understand. I’ll see you in an hour, Cole.”

He ended the call.

What now?

What was he supposed to ask her and the other women?

Studying the children, he tried to imagine what they would need on a day-to-day basis while he was at work.

Discipline? Strong, but loving.

Education? Age appropriate and not overwhelming.

Fun? God, yes.

Affection? Hell, yeah. Plenty of it. As much as their little hearts could hold.

He wanted things settled. Now.

Despite the sun streaming through Honey’s windows, he shivered.

He’d never felt so alone.

How was he supposed to raise those children on his own?

* * *

HONEY LED HER friend to her bedroom, where Rachel took off Beth’s tiny sweater and hat.

“Spill,” Rachel ordered. “What’s going on?”

Honey patted Madeline’s back. “Evan and Madeline are Cole’s nephew and niece.” She glanced at Madeline, who continued to hide behind Honey’s hair. “Isn’t that nice?”

Rachel must have caught Honey’s warning look that said we’ll talk later, because she murmured, “I see.”

“Cole is interviewing caregivers for the children today. If Tanya Mayhall agreed, she should be here soon.”

Rachel stared at Madeline with a worried frown and pointed discreetly. Honey glanced down. A wide frill decorated the neckline of Honey’s white blouse. Madeline had a small piece of it in her mouth, sucking on it. “Oh... I—”

Honey covered her lips with her fingers and fought tears.

“It will be okay,” Rachel said, too loudly. “Tanya’s a great woman. She loves children.”

“Yes.” Honey cleared a sudden huskiness out of her throat.

Rachel nodded toward the child, whose hands still grasped bunches of Honey’s hair.

“She likes being held by you.”

Honey nodded and gave a rundown on the other two women she’d also suggested.

“All perfect candidates. I would trust my children with any of them.”

“I hope he can do a good job of interviewing,” Honey said. “Cole’s even worse than usual because of this.”

Puzzled, Rachel asked, “Worse than usual? How so?”

“You know Cole. So quiet.”

“Quiet? What do you mean?”

“He’s like one of those monks who makes a vow of silence.”

Rachel frowned and lifted Beth into her arms. “I’ve never noticed that. He chats away whenever we meet, always asking about the children and curious about how Travis’s herd is doing.”

“Um, is he like that with Travis, too?”

“They’ve become great friends. He’s like that with everyone. Haven’t you ever seen him in the diner when he goes in for breakfast?”

“With the hours I keep at the bar, I usually sleep through Vy’s breakfast hours.”

“Oh, right, of course. Anyway, he does the rounds before sitting down to have breakfast.”

Curious. Cole had always been quiet with her, and she didn’t know why.

He might share a conversation with someone on a bar stool beside him, but he certainly didn’t talk to her. She’d assumed it was because she was so busy and he didn’t want to intrude. Looked like she was wrong.

Come on, Honey, you’ve seen him chatting with the townspeople. You knew he avoided you outside the bar.

She’d kind of ignored that.

It hurt that Cole wasn’t friendly with her—only a little, but even so. What on earth did Cole have against Honey that he was talkative with the rest of the town, but not with her?

Then he shows up here today with children, trusting me to take care of them. Cole, who the heck are you?

“Come on,” Rachel said, leaving the bedroom. “Let’s go see what we can do for him.”

When they returned to the living room, Rachel put Beth down on the short end of the L-shaped sofa and surrounded her with pillows.

She approached Cole, who accepted a long hug.

Honey watched him wrap his strong arms around her friend and close his eyes, dipping his chin onto Rachel’s hair.

Downstairs in the bar, he’d stepped away from Honey’s attempt at sympathy.

Tori spoke up, breaking into her thoughts. “Can we build a fort, Honey?” She pointed to Madeline. “Would she like it?”

Honey’s eyebrows shot up. “I don’t know. We could build one and see?”

Tori smiled. “’Kay.”

Honey kissed Tori’s cheek. “Love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you, too, Honey, but we needs to build our fort now.”

Madeline peeked between strands of Honey’s hair and watched the interchange between Tori and Honey with a frown furrowing her small brow.

* * *

COLE PAYETTE LOVED Honey Armstrong.

He couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t.

He’d been careful to never show his feelings to her. Years ago, he’d made big mistakes with a woman. Deep in his soul, he knew that wasn’t a path he could take again. It was even more important now that he had the responsibility of raising two children.

No matter how great she was with kids, Honey was too much a free spirit for him.

She might be good at making children laugh, but those kids were going to need a firmly measured guiding hand.

Honey, pretty and generous and fun, was so achingly attractive to Cole that he had trouble not giving in to his need for her. He’d resisted her allure for years while she ran her bar—a bar, for God’s sake—made friends with all of her customers, and kept unconventional hours.

Her business was important to Honey. He suspected it was everything for her. How could she possibly have a family? How could she spend her evenings running a bar, go to bed at two in the morning and then be there for her children the next day? It would never happen.

It could never work.

But look at how she held Madeline and rested her chin on the girl’s head while she smiled and kissed Tori.

Honey messed with Cole’s head, and had done so for at least a decade.

He heard her murmur, “I have to put you down to make a fort.”

Madeline turned her face into Honey’s chest.

Honey shot him a look that said, Help.

He stood and took Madeline from her.

Honey rushed around the apartment gathering afghans and blankets, tearing her place apart to make an indoor playground for the children.

She pushed two armchairs together and threw a couple of afghans over their high backs. A third armchair joined the first two, leaving the side facing the windows open. She tucked cushions inside.

She disappeared down the back hallway. Cole heard her running down the stairs.

Across the room, Rachel smiled at him. “Whirlwind,” she said.

He nodded.

A minute later Honey returned, carrying a pair of microphone stands. She collapsed them to their shortest heights and hooked the corners of each afghan onto them, effectively creating a cozy, private nook for the children.

“Yay!” Evan jumped up from the sofa and ran into the fort. “Madeline, come on. This is great!”

Only once her brother had invited her in did Madeline climb down from Cole’s arms and sit in an armchair in the cozy alcove.

Tori sat in the last empty chair and spread her hands. “Do you like it? Honey makes good forts.”

Subdued, Madeline sat still and self-contained, while Evan punched pillows into comfortable shapes. Tori’s chatter cracked their shells. Infinitesimal fissures, but there nonetheless.

Good instinct on Honey’s part to get Tori here.

Madeline still sucked her thumb. Evan beat an edgy tattoo with his heels against the armchair.

They’re mine.

God above, how was Cole to cope?

Before he fell into that trap of despair again, he called the last two women and set up their appointments an hour apart. Best to get this all over with today for his own peace of mind.

Tori peeked around the corner of an afghan and asked, “Honey, can we have snacks?”

“In a few minutes. Vy’s bringing food from the diner.”

“Vy’s coming over!” Tori clapped her hands. “Is Chels coming, too?”

The town had welcomed Sam Carmichael and his daughter, Chelsea, just a couple of months ago, and already they were fast friends with the entire group of women revitalizing the town fair. For over a hundred years, it had drawn people from miles around for a full week every August, but it had closed down fifteen years ago when the owner had grown too old to keep up with the work.

Now, six local women, including Honey, were reviving it and restoring the rides for a new run for a week in August, hoping to bring in tourists and locals alike, and much needed income for the town.

Honey was in charge of refreshment stands and had already ordered the supplies and hired local women and students to prepare the food and run the booths.

As sheriff, Cole made a point of keeping up-to-date on everything going on in town, particularly the arrival of strangers.

After a rocky start, Sam had turned out to be the fair owner’s grandson and an okay guy, even pairing up with the town’s diner owner. An unlikely friendship had developed between newly adolescent Chelsea and four-year-old Tori.

“Is Chels coming?” Tori repeated.

“I think only Vy,” Honey said.

Tori scrambled out of the armchair. “Mommy, I needs your phone. I gots to call Vy. She needs to bring Chels.”

Rachel handed her cell to her daughter. Like a miniature expert, the child unlocked it, located the number and placed the call.

“It’s Tori, Vy! Hi! Bring Chels to Honey’s house, okay?”

Silence while Tori listened, followed by an argument. “She will so want to come. Please? My friend Mad and me needs hot-pink nail polish with sparkles. Ask her, okay?”

Again silence and then Tori said, “Okay. See you soon. Love you!” A second later, she squealed, “Love you, three!” and disconnected. She returned to the armchair fort, throwing back over her shoulder, “Chels is coming.”

Cole smiled. That child could move mountains.

A moment later, Tori backed out of the fort. From Cole’s spot at the sunny end of the room, he noted her distress.

“Mommy, Mad is crying.” Tori looked just this side of giving in to tears herself.

Cole moved to intervene, but Rachel got there first and placed a comforting hand on her daughter’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Rachel asked.

Madeline crooked one tiny finger at Tori, who leaned close and listened to the whispering in her ear. “She said she’s not Mad.”

“Of course she isn’t. Why did you call her mad?”

“Her name is long. I gives everybody a nickname, Mommy.”

“Fair enough. ‘Madeline’ is a mouthful. She might like Maddy. It’s pretty. Try it out and see what her reaction is.”

Tori leaned close to Madeline. “Your name is long. I can call you Maddy, okay?”

Madeline nodded, and peace was restored.

Rachel reached to wipe Madeline’s cheeks, but she reared back. Honey exchanged a glance with her friend.

Since the funeral, only Cole had been able to hold Madeline. She wouldn’t even go to his sister’s best friend. But she’d wanted Honey to hold her.

He’d thought maybe Madeline was softening. But she’d rejected Rachel, who was about as warm as a person could be, who loved children, and who was loved by children in return.

How was Madeline going to be with Tanya? Cole hadn’t expected this wrinkle.

His legs wanted to pace. His feet itched to carry him far away.

A breath whooshed out of him. He’d pushed through the past week with sheer discipline, but now that he was home in Rodeo, he’d hit a wall.

And yet, he had so far to go. His new life had only just begun, with no time for fatigue. In coming home, he hadn’t reached the end, but a beginning.

He didn’t have a clue how to live this new life.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, his palm rasping across his unshaven jaw.

He drained the last of his coffee. Honey was right. The warm drink had restored a semblance of calm.

Needing another one, he stood. Already way ahead of him, Honey took his mug and refilled it.

He had to resist her allure.

If he let himself go, he would grab hold of her and never, ever release her again.

He wanted Honey that badly.

Her touch staggered him, weakened him and made him wish for things he knew could never be.

That bit of foolishness when he’d taken her hand and held on for dear life had been a mistake, simply his neediness taking over.

He loved her.

He shouldn’t. He knew in his heart they wouldn’t suit each other. Experience had taught him irreversible lessons.

Case closed.

She handed his coffee then stepped away, passing through a shaft of sunlight. His breath caught.

She really was one of the prettiest women for miles around. Honey’s deep-set blue eyes studied the world with captivating intelligence. Long, blond curls touched the base of her spine. A wide-necked white blouse fell from one shoulder while a belt cinched in her waist above a flowing blue skirt. Turquoise and silver jewelry at wrists, ears and throat shone in the sunbeam.

Her lush figure, pocket-size compared to his six-one frame, well... Cole swallowed. He couldn’t dwell on that too much. He’d ached for her for too long.

Best to ignore physical desires.

The absolute perfection of Honey Armstrong, though, was her smile—the one she flashed often for every man, woman and child in Rodeo. It turned prettiness into beauty.

Cole turned away and steeled himself.

The door that separated the apartment from the stairs down to the street opened. Violet Summer burst into the room. Exactly the kind of entrance bold, confident Vy liked to make. She waved to Cole at the other end of the living room. He raised one hand in a modified version of Vy’s flamboyance.

He liked Vy a lot. She was one of the town’s go-to sources of good common sense in the midst of any crisis. Plus, she sold great food at respectable prices and treated everyone with sincere, if sarcastic, good humor.

Chelsea followed her in, and Tori launched herself at her friend. They hugged.

“Did you bringed the nail polish?” Tori asked.

“What do you think, pipsqueak?”

Tori giggled. “’Kay.”

They put boxes on the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room and unloaded them. They must have cleaned out all of the diner’s Saturday leftovers.

Honey took Vy’s hand and led her down the hallway. Rachel followed. Cole knew what that meant—his story being shared.

He hated it, loathed this laying bare of his life, but he expected it. The whole town would, and should, know of it soon enough.

Rodeo was now the home of his sister’s two children, and the townspeople needed to get to know them.

He knew everything there was to know about his fellow citizens. Why shouldn’t they know about him? He’d protected his past from them, though. That was his and his alone.

But the children’s story would spread, naturally.

Vy strode back into the living room and made a beeline for him. He stood to catch her in his arms when she grasped him to her curvy body.

She held on for long moments, whispering, “I’m sorry.”

They both knew it was inadequate, but her concern was welcome nonetheless.

When he could take no more of her sympathy, he set her away from him. He glanced down and smiled to relieve the grief building in him like a pressure cooker about to blow.

God knew he didn’t want to cry in front of these women and the children. That would set off everyone, especially Evan and Madeline.

“Is it my imagination, or are you showing?”

Vy swatted his shoulder. “A man should never discuss a woman’s weight.” She dropped the fake outrage and grinned. “Yeah, I’m finally showing. Isn’t it awesome?”

If his answering grin wobbled around the edges, it was to be expected. He was happy for Vy, and Sam Carmichael, too, and glad they’d found each other even if the pregnancy had come shockingly quickly. Cole had no right to envy.

Vy deserved all of this and more.

When Vy turned to walk away, Cole noticed Honey watching with a frown.

What was that about?

Vy stooped in front of little Madeline.

“Hi,” she said and held out her hand.

Madeline didn’t take it.

Vy turned and tickled Tori until she giggled with delight. Tori and Vy were great friends.

Madeline and Evan watched with fascination, as well they might. Cole hadn’t been able to give them a damned bit of pleasure this past week.

He wished he knew more about their lives with his sister and her husband. His twice-yearly visits hadn’t been nearly enough to forge as strong a bond as he’d have liked with his nephew and niece.

He needed one now, this minute, but God knew how long that would take with the children so damaged.

He watched Honey placing bowls on place mats. Then she called the children to come and sit at the table.

When Madeline sat down, she started to cry.

Cole rushed over and picked her up. She cuddled her head against his chest. He knew she liked the vibrations his voice made when he talked. “What’s wrong?”

“Raisins,” she whispered for his ears only.

Honey had given the children Vy’s amazing rice pudding, some of the best comfort food on earth, thick with custard and sprinkled with nutmeg, but Madeline was obviously offended by the raisins.

“She doesn’t like raisins. Is there something else she can have?” He picked up her bowl to put it in the kitchen, but Tori’s high-pitched voice stopped him.

“Sheriff, no! I gots a big love for raisins. I eat them.”

A big love. Good lord, Tori was cute. No wonder she broke down resistance wherever she went.

He set the bowl back on the table.

“Maddy, do you likes rice pudding without raisins?” Tori asked.

Madeline nodded.

“I eat your raisins and you eat the pudding. Okay?”

Madeline nodded.

“Mommy, can you putted the raisins from Maddy’s pudding in my bowl?”

“I’ll do it,” Cole said. Tori might be here for the children’s sake, but her open, honest spirit soothed Cole as well. When he finished, the children ate.

Honey approached and rested her fingers on his arm to get his attention. He sidled away. He might crave contact with her, but Honey touching him constituted a dangerous, subversive act against his vulnerable defenses.

She was not the woman for him, he reminded himself yet again.

“Here,” she said, handing him a plate of reheated meat loaf and mashed potatoes. He could smell the garlic in them. The Summertime Diner’s food was the best.

“Eat,” Honey ordered.

He sat down in the remaining empty chair not at all certain he could swallow a bite. But he tried.

Minutes later, he’d finished the entire plate.

“Better?” Vy asked.

He nodded. A second later, Honey appeared at his side with a bowl of rice pudding for him, too, her floral essence swirling around her.

Madeline grasped a hank of Honey’s hair and held on, forcing Honey to pick her up, sit down in her chair and put the child on her lap.

Madeline pulled Honey’s hair around her head and under her chin like a nun’s wimple, leaving only a narrow portion of her face showing.

Cole put down his spoon and squeezed the bridge of his nose. How was he supposed to make life normal for children who had lost so much?

Honey picked up a bit of Maddy’s rice pudding in a spoon and fed it to her. Maddy let her.

Cole had been having trouble getting enough food into the child. Thank God for Honey.

The apartment door opened and Will, Vy’s cook, stepped in carrying a tray.

Cole glanced at Vy.

She grinned. “I asked him to make milk shakes and bring them over.”

Cole frowned. “On a Sunday? You shouldn’t have. It’s his day off.”

“I don’t mind,” Will said. “Nothing much else to do.”

That surprised Cole. Will was a big handsome guy with a wicked set of dimples that set the women of Rodeo sighing. No exaggeration. Cole had witnessed the weird phenomenon of usually sensible women falling all over Will when he indulged them with one of his rare smiles.