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“You just make me so…ugh!” She shook her head, apparently unable to think of a despicable enough word.
“The feeling’s mutual.”
They completed the rest of their task in silence, though Matt paused every now and then to read the words and descriptions on some of the illustrations. He handed her a piece of white construction paper with a blue sailboat drawn on it. “So, you’re an English teacher.”
“Language arts.”
“Why don’t you like me?”
She opened her mouth, but no words came. Haley swallowed, glanced away and then tried to meet his direct gaze. “Excuse me?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “You’ve hardly rolled out the red carpet to make me feel welcome here. Do I look like a boyfriend who dumped you or is it just the music you hate?”
Haley found herself flustered. She’d never met a man who was so straight to the point.
“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t hate anyone or anything.”
“You’ve made no secret about what you think of me. I was just wondering why.”
“Mr. Brandon.”
“Call me Matt.”
She ignored that. But she did decide to level with him. It was the right thing to do. She could be honest with him without revealing that it wasn’t just the style of music he preferred that disturbed her.
“I joined Community Christian because it was a small conservative church with traditional values and services. If I had wanted to be affiliated with a congregation that had rock bands, hip-hop artists and jazz ensembles as part of the so-called worship experience, I would have joined one of the churches in town that feature that sort of…” She waved a hand as she floundered for an acceptable word. “Sound,” she finally said.
“So if you expect me to turn cartwheels down the center aisle because you’re here, I’m sorry. That’s just not going to happen.”
She lifted the box, placed it in the trunk next to several other boxes and closed the hatch with a hearty thwack.
He glanced at the trunk. “Something tells me you were wishing that was my head.”
She ignored that, too, and resisted the smile that threatened.
“There’s no way we’re going to be able to work together.”
He nodded. “Yeah. It’s looking like that. But listen,” he said, reaching for her arm when she would have walked away. “We can work this out.”
His thumb grazed her skin, but whether deliberately or as a result of him simply touching her as she pulled away, Haley couldn’t say. Frissons of something very like pleasure raced through her, causing her to catch her breath and feel even more wary of him.
“Let me go, please.”
Instantly, he dropped his hand and stepped away from her. She saw something flash in his eyes, but it was gone before she could determine if it’d been anger or something else entirely.
He reached in his jacket pocket, pulled out an envelope and handed it to her. “When you decide to stop playing games and being Miss Holier Than Thou, call me,” he said.
Haley watched him walk to a motorcycle parked not far away. He slipped a helmet on and a moment later the bike’s engine revved and he peeled out of the school parking lot.
Instead of being angry, she found herself even more curious about him.
She tore open the envelope he’d given her and pulled out two sheets of paper. The first was the order of worship for the Sunday morning service with two songs penned in where traditional hymns were normally sung. The other held lyrics to a song labeled “Acceptable.”
Standing in the parking lot, Haley read the words of the poem, a praise song about Jesus’s love and sacrifice. By the time she finished reading, her eyes were filled with wonder and with moisture that she furiously blinked away.
Surely he hadn’t written such an emotional song. But there, at the top of the page, under the title was “By Matt B.”
“Where is Mr. Brandon?” Haley asked Eunice. She had to find him. She’d gotten her emotions in check by the time she arrived at the church. The pages, though, remained clutched in her hand.
“I thought he was with you. I sent him over to the school when he came here looking for you.”
“He found me, but he left. Is there another way to reach him?”
“Sure, Haley,” Eunice said as she reached for the Rolodex on her desk.
For a moment, Haley thought she detected the hint of a sly smile at Eunice’s mouth. But in a flash it was gone.
Eunice plucked out a card. “He’s staying in the Amends House over on Grove Street. You know, the one they rent out. Here’s the phone number.”
Haley glanced at the card and then at Mrs. Gallagher who was smiling this time. “No. Thank you, though. I’ll just go over there.” She held up the pages. “We, uh, need to go over this.”
“Sure thing, Haley.”
It wasn’t until she stood on his front porch rapping with the brass knocker that she realized just what she was doing. The words to the song had touched her so deeply, moved her so completely that she wanted to hear the music, had to know if it sounded as emotionally gripping as the lyrics. For a moment, she wondered if Matt had really written the song. He’d claimed to be something of a songwriter when he’d interviewed. It just seemed so incongruous that a man who wore jeans and an earring and drove a motorcycle would or could compose such stirring lyrics.
No one answered her repeated raps on the door. Dejected, she turned away and went down the three wide steps. She sat on the middle one and opened the paper again to read the poem.
“So what did you think?”
She started and clutched her heart, the envelope and papers crumpled in her hands. Matt stood not six feet in front of her. She hadn’t even heard him approach.
“Do you always sneak up on people?”
Two brown paper bags of groceries filled his arms. “Since I live here, I’d hardly sneak up on my own house. What are you doing here?”
It took a moment for her heart to stop its accelerated beat. Twice now he’d caught her unawares. It wouldn’t happen again. “Is this one of the songs you plan for the choir to sing Sunday?”
“No,” he said, stepping around her and going up the steps. “It’s one I was going to sing. If, of course, it meets with your approval.”
His sarcasm wasn’t lost on her. Haley didn’t quite know what came over her when he was around. Matt seemed to bring out the worst in her.
“It’s a beautiful piece.”
Not saying anything at all, he stared at her a moment. Then he murmured a quiet “Thank you” as he hoisted a bag on his hip and jostled for his keys. Haley wondered at his quiet intensity and then the soft-spoken words of thanks. What had he been thinking?
He managed to open the door.
“I’ll get that,” Haley said. She plucked the second bag from his arms and followed him inside.
“Thanks. The kitchen is this way.” The Amends House, named so because old Mr. Anderson built it for his wife to make amends for running off to the war, had been a landmark in Wayside for many years. These days, Mr. Anderson’s grandson used it for long-term rentals.
The sprawling house, twice the size of Haley’s small rancher, seemed quite a lot for a single guy like Matt. Maybe it was all that had been available for rent. Or maybe he had a wife and lots of children somewhere who would soon fill the many rooms. Would they be joining him when he got settled?
Haley trailed behind him through a dimly lit living room and dining room into the kitchen. Here, late-afternoon light streamed in through windows at the sink and a sliding glass door that opened onto a large deck.
“I didn’t know they’d built a deck.”
“You know the Andersons?”
She nodded. “They go to First Baptist. I taught their oldest boy two years ago.”
“So you’ve lived here all your life?”
Haley didn’t particularly want to talk about her life. She’d come here to discuss his music. Besides, she didn’t even like talking about herself; she much rather preferred drawing others out of their shells.
“Long enough to know a lot of people,” she told him. “Living in town and teaching helps a lot.”
She placed his second bag of groceries on the counter. “It looks like you’re settling in well.”
Matt glanced at her, but didn’t say anything about her attempt to change the subject as he began to unload groceries. Haley noticed lots of red meat and fresh vegetables, including a couple of varieties she didn’t immediately recognize.
“You cook?”
“I grill. It’s a guy thing.”
A smile tipped her mouth.
“You’re very pretty when you smile. You should do it more often.”
The smile quickly disappeared. “I didn’t come here to fight,” she said.
“Paying you an honest compliment means I’m picking a fight?”
Haley didn’t know how to respond. Compliments from Matt made her feel vulnerable. And she definitely wasn’t about to admit that to him. “I came to talk about this.” She held up the now well and truly crumpled song sheet.
“What about it?”
“It moved me to tears.”
That got his attention. Slowly he folded the paper bag. “And?”
Haley shrugged. “And I wanted you to know. I also wanted to hear the music.”
It was his turn for quiet contemplation.
Haley bit her lip, wondering if she’d again said something improper or inadvertently impolite. She still felt bad about the dig she’d made at the church.
The silence grew uncomfortable, and she wished he’d say something—anything! But still he just looked at her. She tried not to squirm, but found herself unable to pull off the absolute stillness that he’d apparently perfected.
“What?” she finally asked when she couldn’t stand the silence a moment longer and he didn’t seem inclined to say anything at all.
“Have dinner with me.”
Chapter Two
Haley’s eyes widened, first in surprise and then in reluctant pleasure. She could think of worse ways to spend a Thursday evening. Settled in front of the television with a bowl of microwave popcorn came to mind.
She told herself curiosity about the song “Acceptable” made her want to take him up on the invitation. Her innate honesty, however, compelled her to acknowledge curiosity about the man himself. She’d never really been this close to anyone like him before. If Matt projected any image at all, it was that of rebel. Maybe it was the bike and the earring. And maybe it was the sense of controlled power she sensed whenever he was near. Whatever it was, she knew for certain that she’d never met anyone quite like him.
He shrugged out of the jacket and placed it over the back of a chair. She’d seen him in nothing but his casual clothes since the day of his final interview with the church council. Wondering if the suit he’d donned for that meeting was the only one he owned, she studied him as his arms flexed when he tucked the paper bag under the sink. Pulling out a colander, he ripped lettuce and let cold water run over it.
When he turned to her again, her breath caught.
“So?”
More than slightly confused, and painfully aware of her awkwardness, Haley just stared back. “So what?”
He held up a plastic-wrapped butcher package that contained two thick center-cut steaks. “Dinner?”
Before she could answer, the telephone rang. “Excuse me,” he said as he walked across the kitchen to an old-fashioned gossip bench. He picked up the phone.
A moment later, a smile curved his mouth. He glanced at her and shifted a bit so his back was to her. He spoke in the quiet hushed tones she’d seen her college roommate use when a boyfriend called and said something naughty.
Haley blushed. She quickly glanced away.
Then she looked over her shoulder at him. His low murmur and chuckle made her wish someone talked like that with her on the telephone. But Timothy, her first and only long-term boyfriend, had never been one for flowery compliments or long conversation. That was one of the reasons Haley eventually realized it would never work between them. They had everything—and nothing—in common. A man of action, Timothy wasted precious little time on social niceties unless it was with a client. To Haley, that seemed so cold. And so unfair. Over time, until he’d finally called things off between them, she’d learned to live without.
Now, half-listening to Matt, she wondered what it might be like to have a man whisper sweet nothings to her.
Despite his dinner invitation, probably issued because he wasn’t used to eating alone, Haley realized she intruded. She picked up the song sheet, smoothed out the wrinkles in the paper and tucked it in her pocket. Without disturbing his conversation, she slipped through the rooms headed toward the front door.
She’d just pushed the screen door open when he called out.
“I thought you were going to have dinner with me. You know, we have to at least put forth some sort of effort at compromise.”
Haley paused.
While her mind had been running along another track entirely, Matt remained focused on their mission.
Inexplicably, Haley felt on the verge of tears, her emotions raw and on the surface. Something about Matt brought out a soul-deep longing in her while at the same time a fear of the very thing she longed for. He wasn’t afraid to embrace life, while Haley preferred the comfort of things she knew best.
“I can’t,” she said. And then she fled.
From his door, Matt watched her leave. Something had frightened her. He glanced back in the house, not sure what it could have been. He finished the conversation with his grandmother, apologizing for keeping her waiting, then, unfortunately, turned his attention to an evening meal for one.
After grilling steak and vegetables for dinner, he spent the rest of the evening in the room he’d been using as a makeshift studio. Upstairs, it had the best light and a decent view of the town square. If he stood just so, he could see the gazebo where, he assumed, bands played during the summer. That’s the sort of small-town activity he’d seen on television. And Wayside, at least its downtown area, looked and felt as if it had been towed straight out of a studio back lot.
Matt had been in Wayside for all of two weeks. He’d been in Oregon, though, for several months. He loved Portland and took every moment he could get to go into the city for books, good coffee and record stores with extensive gospel selections. He liked large cities because a person could be as anonymous as he wanted to be. And for a long time now, Matt had reveled in anonymity.
Lord, why did you lead me here? He’d been praying the same prayer, asking the same question…and inevitably getting the same response. Silence.
But Wayside had called to him. And long ago Matt had learned to listen to the still, small voice inside him. The one time he hadn’t had cost him everything. That had been three years ago, time enough to do penance, time enough to reflect on how he should have handled the situation with Melanie.
Sitting at his favorite keyboard, his fingers moved over the keys and he sang of lost youth and innocence, of finding the way home, of being a prodigal son. As it had so many times before, time passed without his being aware of it. When he looked up, it was because shadows chased across the room as evening fell.
Matt prayed. There were a lot of things he could have asked for, including a return to the public glory and adoration he’d thrived on. Even after three years, a part of him still yearned for all he’d lost. But he had a different life now. He’d been given a clean slate and a new beginning.
Grateful for that gift, one he knew he didn’t deserve, his prayer was one of thanksgiving and praise.
Friday dawned misty and cool in Wayside. The rain, as much a part of the environment as the community’s hospitality to newcomers, always took Matt by surprise. His hometown was renowned the world over for embracing strangers, but it had been a long time since he’d actually lived in New Orleans, the place he called home.
“Have a good morning,” the town baker called as Matt left with a dozen mixed doughnuts. He’d never tell his grandmother, but these doughnuts rivaled her beignets.
“You, too,” he said with a wave.
He’d traded in his red BMW for a four-wheel drive SUV before starting his cross-country trek to Oregon. In the rain today, the truck made much more sense than the motorcycle he usually drove.
As he headed toward Community Christian, he took in the small shops and businesses along Main Street. The town boasted sixteen churches, a synagogue and two temples.
A small, private college lent the town an additional appeal, but with students gone for the summer, Wayside apparently didn’t offer much open beyond nine at night. In the daytime though, people were out and about, another fact that always seemed to take him by surprise.
He sure wouldn’t have picked it himself, but Wayside was as good a place as any he might choose to completely start over. As he pulled into the parking lot at Community Christian, Matt’s thoughts turned to the ever perplexing Haley Cartwright. Without a doubt he knew he was attracted to her. Was that why she was so skittish, sometimes hostile toward him? Did he emit “I’m trouble” vibes?
Since he didn’t see her white Honda, Matt figured it a safe bet that he’d have a quiet morning. Today was the first rehearsal he’d have with the choir. Until that gathering at three, he planned to further familiarize himself with the church’s big pipe organ.
“Good morning, Eunice,” he said. Hoisting the doughnut bag high, he added, “I brought a treat.”
“I just put a pot of coffee on,” she said. “I’ll get us some cups.”
Before long, they sat in Eunice’s office enjoying the late-morning repast. She’d taken a fresh cup of coffee and two jelly doughnuts in to Reverend Baines, who was working on his sermon.
“So, what do you think of Wayside so far?”
Matt smiled. “I was just comparing it to New Orleans on the drive over here.”
“It must be exciting to be from somewhere as famous as New Orleans. Me, I’ve never been beyond Portland.”
“There’s a great big world out there,” Matt said. “Have you ever dreamed of seeing it?”
Eunice waved a hand. “Heavens, no. All that I’ve ever wanted or needed is right here. All my family is here. And I have good friends and a wonderful church family. No, I leave the traveling to you young people.”
He chuckled as he sipped his coffee. He very much wanted to ask Eunice about Haley, but thinking of an opening that wouldn’t seem contrived escaped him. As it turned out, he need not have worried.
“So, have you and Haley come up with a plan yet?” He detected a definite twinkle in her eyes when she asked the question.
“Not exactly. Did you have a suggestion?”
“Haley’s a good girl. And even though she’s a stickler for rules, we love her dearly. She’s been hurt. So kid gloves are a good idea. She needs someone who will cherish her.”
Matt cleared his throat. “I was talking about a suggestion on the music.”
She looked at him and winked. “I know. But I thought you might want to know the other, too.”
Wisely, Matt held his tongue. He finished off a doughnut and excused himself. “I’m going to the sanctuary to practice on the organ.”
“All right,” Eunice said. “And Matt.”
At the door, he turned to face her. “Yes?”
“She’s allergic to roses, but she loves lilies.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Haley overslept. She’d planned to clean her closet and do some baking Friday morning. While she couldn’t claim to be a gourmet chef like Amber, she was hardly a slouch in the kitchen. But a restless night filled with shadow dreams left her tired and a bit cranky. Bagging her plans for the early part of the day, she decided on a little gardening. A peek outside, though, squelched that plan. Right now, the rain, which would undoubtedly clear up later, fell as gray and blah as she felt.
The telephone rang before she made a decision to just fling the sheet over her head and go back to sleep.
“Good morning, dear,” Eunice’s cheery voice rang through the line.
Running a hand through her hair, Haley sat up in bed. “Hello.”
“Oh, my. I hope I didn’t wake you. It is after ten.”
“That’s all right.” She’d truly planned to be up at eight-thirty. “What can I do for you?”
“The vacation Bible school supplies arrived. The UPS driver just delivered them. I thought you’d want to know.”
That news cheered her up. “Thanks so much. I’ll come down this afternoon.”
“I’ll be here. Ta-ta.”
Chuckling at the breezy way Eunice always signed off, Haley got up. She made quick work of showering and making her bed.
As Sunday school director, she was also in charge of the church’s education and outreach program. Anxious to go through the materials she’d ordered, Haley dressed in chinos and a cotton top. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and donned a pair of sandals. An omelette, toast and tea would provide sustenance until dinner.
A few hours later after running a few errands in town, she pulled into the parking lot at Community Christian Church where she saw several cars, but no sign of Matt’s motorcycle. Not willing to peer too closely to see if she cared one way or the other, Haley locked her car and went into the church.
Figuring that Eunice probably had the supply boxes put in her classroom, Haley headed there. And sure enough there they were.
The summer program would be a lot of fun for the children and the teenagers. With ready-made handouts and activities for the youth from the religious-supply company, Haley would spend more time developing the program for adults. But right now, she’d enjoy going through all of the colorful fliers and banners and books for the kids.
She was so caught up in her work, she didn’t notice Matt at the door looking in. He took the opportunity to study her. In the casual clothes, she looked a lot like the teens she worked with. Matt had often wondered how she’d appear in a different environment. And now, while still at the church, she’d clearly abandoned her prim-and-proper pumps and pearls for more comfortable clothes.
She hummed as she worked, and Matt smiled at the off-key melody.
Had they met under different circumstances they might have been friends, maybe even something more. But that didn’t seem possible, let alone likely. She’d made it pretty clear what she thought about him and his work. Yet, much like a moth flirting with a flame that would eventually consume it, Matt found himself compelled to get to know her better, to break down the defenses she’d built around herself.
Since he didn’t want to again be accused of sneaking up on her, he cleared his throat and rapped his knuckles on the open door.
“Excuse me. Haley?”
She glanced up, a smile on her face. When she saw it was him, though, the smile faded. “Hello, Mr. Brandon.”
“Call me Matt. Please.”
She took a breath and put down a packet of promotional fliers. “What can I do for you?”
“I told Eunice you were okay with the plan for Sunday,” Matt said.
“But I’m not okay with it,” she said, putting air quotes around okay.
“Haley, this is the day she does the bulletin for Sunday. I gave you my changes yesterday. When you didn’t voice any objections, which, I might add, I appreciated, I told Eunice everything was fine for Sunday.”
“But everything isn’t fine. We haven’t discussed anything.”
Matt folded his arms. “She’s at the printer’s right now getting copies made.”
Haley wanted to cry out in frustration. But Matt couldn’t be faulted here. She’d gotten so caught up in feeling sorry for herself last night that she’d run off without resolving the issue between them. “Well, we still have to come up with long-term recommendations for next week’s council meeting. I’m free now. I was just finishing up with some vacation Bible school inventory.”
“Sorry. I have plans.” He smiled and Haley remembered the quiet conversation he’d had the previous evening. A date? The man had just moved to town and he had a date already.