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As they approached a doorway marked Pastor’s Study, a middle-aged man stood up from behind the desk and came out to greet them, shaking Buck’s hand heartily and then turning to her. “What a pleasure! Buck, we don’t see you here often enough these days. You just missed the men’s prayer group, fixing up one of the elementary classrooms. What brings you here?”
“This is Gina,” Buck said. “She’s looking for some help. Gina, meet Pastor Ricky.”
Heat flushed Gina’s face. She hated being in this position: helpless, homeless, asking for what amounted to a handout. It’s for Bobby, she reminded herself.
The pastor invited them in, and Gina sat down, cuddled Bobby to her chest and explained their situation to a minimal degree. Homeless, purse stolen, looking for work and a place to stay.
The pastor nodded sympathetically. “The church isn’t really set up for that,” he said. “When we need places for people to stay, we usually ask families to put them up. In fact, Lacey, Buck’s sister, has helped us out a few times.”
“It would work better if she stayed somewhere else,” Buck said.
Ouch! Gina had been an interloper back at her in-laws’ place, where she’d been tolerated because she had given birth to the heir to the empire. But that feeling of always being on the outside, a burden, was a part of what she’d been fleeing.
The last thing she wanted was to feel that way at Lacey’s place, but Buck was making it obvious that he didn’t want her there.
“Let’s see. There’s Lou Ann Miller, but I think she’s away visiting her sister. Maybe Susan Hayashi? Except her mom and brother are here visiting, and they’re doing some renovations on Sam’s house. Getting ready for the wedding, you know. Such a nice couple.” He looked at Buck’s impatient expression and waved a hand. “But you don’t need to hear about all that. You’re sure Lacey’s place isn’t an option?”
“Like I said, somewhere else would be better.”
“Sure enough. I’ll ask around. And I’ll check the balance in the emergency fund.” The pastor studied Buck with a level expression, obviously wondering what was going on. “I’d take you in myself, except we have a houseful of teenagers for the Artists for Christ Concert over in Mansfield. Not very quiet for your baby.”
As if on cue, Bobby wiggled hard, trying to get down to the floor, and she gave the place a quick check for hazards and then set him down. “Do you know of any jobs?” she blurted out before she knew what she was saying. And wondered when Rescue River had become a viable place to live. “I don’t want charity—I want to work, and I’m willing to do anything. I’m good at decorating, cooking and event planning, and I’m really organized. And I have most of a college degree.” Her voice cracked a little on the last word. She’d been thinking about her job skills ever since she left her in-laws’ place, and figuring out how to package her housewife background into something more impressive. Still, it was hard to brag about herself.
“Hmm. Again, we’re a very small town, so I don’t know of much. But what about Lacey? She’s doing all that renovation. Surely she could use some help...”
“That’s not going to work.” Buck’s words were flat, firm and final.
And that irked Gina. She scooped Bobby back up into her arms. “I’m sorry I remind you of your ex. I’ll get out of your hair as soon as I can. But I have to do my best for my son. Why are you so against my working for Lacey, if I can talk her into it?”
He lifted an eyebrow, clearly trying to play it cool. “Because you’re on the run and we know nothing about you.” He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “And...look, Lacey’s not as strong as she acts. Let’s leave it at that.”
What could she say? She nodded, feeling like there was more to the story.
The pastor put a hand on each of their arms. “Let’s take it to the Lord,” he suggested, and Gina felt ashamed she hadn’t done more praying about her situation. She’d been too tired and too worried, but that was exactly when she needed to turn it over to God. Buck and Gina bowed their heads, and the pastor uttered a short prayer for Gina to find shelter and work and for everyone to get along. Something like that. Though she felt too upset and flustered to focus on the words, the pastor’s heartfelt prayer offered a tiny sense of peace.
At the gas station, Buck pulled out a couple of five-gallon gas cans. “We’ll fill both of these,” he said to the attendant who came out to help, even though they were at a self-serve pump.
Gina touched Buck’s arm, embarrassed. “Um, could we just fill one? About halfway? That should do me until...” She trailed off, her face heating. Never in her life had she been completely broke, not able to afford more than a couple of gallons of gas at a time.
He waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll fill both.”
“No, I’d rather just do what I can afford.”
“I said don’t worry about it.”
“Trying to get me as far away as you can, are you?” She was half joking, and then she saw on his face that she’d guessed exactly right. “Fine, fill both.” She slammed back into Buck’s truck, feeling unaccountably hurt.
There was no particular reason why Buck should like her or want her to stay. Just because he’d rescued her last night, he didn’t have responsibility for her future or Bobby’s. That was solely on her shoulders.
The thing was, as she rode around Rescue River, even now as she watched the gas-station attendant clap Buck on the shoulder and help him lift the heavy gas cans into the back of his pickup, she liked this place. She could picture herself and Bobby playing in the park and attending the church and getting together with other friendly people. She could imagine herself a part of this community.
On the other hand, the idea of the man beside her resisting every moment of her presence was disconcerting. She hated not being wanted. She’d grown up feeling that way, and she’d married into a family where she felt like an outsider. Was she continuing her same sick pattern?
Rescue River was where the Lord had led her. It seemed like the perfect place to stay, at least for a while.
She just had to convince Buck not to block the whole idea.
* * *
Buck helped Gina fill the gas tank on her loaded, late-model SUV, continuing to wonder what her story was, continuing to get distracted by the lemony scent of her hair. Dion was there, too, helping and subtly questioning, observing everything.
It was early evening, but Buck could still hear the steady chink-chink-chink of a rotary tiller off in the distance. Probably Rob Richardson, trying to get his field finished before the rain came on. Sun peeked through a bank of dark clouds, illuminating the freshly plowed acre beside them. Buck inhaled the sweet, pungent zing that indicated a storm was headed their way.
Gina thanked them both politely, strapped Bobby into the car seat and headed back to the guesthouse. Buck was about to climb into his truck when Dion gestured to him. “Stay back a minute, would you?”
Buck turned toward the police chief. “Sure. What’s up?”
It wasn’t like he was eager to get home. He was half hoping that Gina, now that she had a tank of gas and some baby food, would hightail it to the next town. Or the next state.
Then again, what would she do if she left Rescue River? Alone without money and with a baby to care for, what were the odds that she’d survive, let alone do well?
He didn’t want to worry about her, because being around her disturbed him on so many levels. Her resemblance to Ivana evoked all kinds of feelings he’d had during his marriage. That initial attraction. Anger at how Ivana’s love for him had cooled. Fear that he’d made a lifelong mistake in marrying her, and guilt that he’d let his feelings show.
Horrible guilt about how everything had ended. And with that, the way his drinking had spiraled out of control.
“We have a little bit of a problem,” Dion said.
“With the car?”
“More so with the baby. Did you notice the bandage on his arm?”
Buck nodded. “She said it’s a scratch.”
“Mmm-hmm. Have you seen any other marks on the kid?”
Buck stared at Dion as the puzzle pieces started moving into place. “You’re thinking...what? That somebody abused the baby?”
“Could be.” Dion nodded, not looking at Buck, staring out over the fields. “Could be her.”
“No.” Buck reeled back against that accusation. “I’ve seen how protective she is. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. I more got the impression that she’s running away.”
“That’s my gut instinct, too, but she’s a pretty woman and a mother, so guys like us can be a little distracted. Keep your eyes open for it, would you?”
“Did you find out something against her?”
Dion frowned. “Not officially. But I have a few friends in law enforcement on the West Coast. Apparently, someone tried to report the car stolen, only to find out that it’s not even eligible for unlawful use for another four days.”
“Unlawful use? So...”
“So she took a car that belongs to a family member or friend. Maybe she had permission to use it, but not to take off in it.”
“What are you saying? What do you want to do?”
“I’m thinking she’s either a woman in trouble, or she’s trouble herself. Either way, that baby’s the victim.”
“So we should...”
“We should try to get her to stay in Rescue River, is what I’m thinking.” Dion frowned, rubbed a hand over his chin. “No, it’s not exactly our problem, and we can’t make her stay, but it would be a good thing for her to stick around here until I can make some phone calls, find out what her story is. It’s safe here, and I can monitor the situation, make sure she’s not the abuser and maybe prevent those who are from finding her.”
Something primal raised the hairs on the back of Buck’s neck, and he gave Dion a narrow stare. “You like her, don’t you?”
They weren’t exactly friends. Dion had pulled Buck out of a couple of fights in his role as a cop, when Buck was drinking. Nowadays, Dion was more likely to evangelize him, which was almost worse. But at least it meant that Dion didn’t think he was unredeemable, like so many in town did.
Maybe they had the beginnings of a friendship, but it wasn’t enough to quell Buck’s irrational twinge of jealousy at the thought of Dion liking Gina.
Dion’s eyebrows came together. “What’re you talking about, man? I don’t even know her. I just see a Christian duty, and a judicial one, to watch out for her. And to watch her. Asking for your help as a citizen.”
Buck chuckled, feeling relieved. “That’s a first. You asking me to help you on the right side of the law.”
“People change.” Dion gave him a level stare. “Remember that, my man. People change.”
* * *
Buck pondered that thought all the way home, and it gave him a spring to his step as he trotted up the guesthouse stairs, trying to stay ahead of the rain that was starting to fall. People changed. Maybe even him.
Just before he touched the door handle, he saw a movement on the far side of the porch.
Gina. Rocking gently on the porch swing, pulling a blanket over her shoulder, probably to shield Bobby from the sound of Buck’s footsteps and the flash of lightning.
He walked quietly toward them, mindful of what Dion had said. He wanted to watch how she handled Bobby with Dion’s questions in mind. If Gina was in trouble, he wanted to help her somehow. He couldn’t push her away, no matter how disturbing it was to be around her. She could be in real danger.
“Hey,” he said, keeping his concerns out of his tone. “You made it back okay? Vehicle’s running well?”
She nodded. “Yes, and Lacey said we can stay one more night. Only one, though. Then we have to be on our way.” She sounded sad.
“Do you...want to stay more?”
She adjusted Bobby with a tender care and private, loving smile. Then she looked out at the rainy twilight. “I like it here, and it feels safe. Like a good place to get my bearings.”
“That’s the town’s history and reputation,” he said. “Rescue River’s always opened its arms to those in need.”
“It feels welcoming.” She shot him a glance. “Well, mostly.”
Buck decided to be honest. “I feel for your situation, but...” He trailed off as she adjusted Bobby again, and he realized exactly what she was doing.
She was nursing him.
He stood up quickly. “Whoa, I’m sorry to intrude. I didn’t realize...”
“It’s okay,” she said, chuckling. “It’s a natural thing and I know how to cover up. I’ve fed Bobby in all kinds of places.”
“That’s...pretty cool.” He’d never been one of those guys who was turned off by nursing or pregnancy or childbirth. Just the opposite, in fact. He’d never loved Ivana more, never felt closer to her, than when she was in the height and glory of womanhood, pregnant with his child or feeding little Mia from her own body. The whole thing amazed him. God’s creativity in action.
Rain was pounding hard now, bringing with it a fresh, clean-washed smell and cooler air.
He felt himself looking at Gina in a new light. His heart warmed toward her in a visceral way: that ancient male reaction to a mother and child in need. Yes, having her here was disturbing, but he thought he could handle it, at least for a short time.
And after all, he wouldn’t be here for long himself. He was putting every penny he had into making restitution, repaying money he’d borrowed, getting back on his feet. Living here with Lacey rent-free in exchange for his renovation work. He didn’t have the means to leave town, not yet, but he would soon.
“I like it here, Buck,” Gina said. “I think God may have sent me and Bobby here for a reason. I’m thinking, maybe, I’d like to stay.”
His ambivalence must have shown on his face, because she cocked her head to one side and spoke. “That bothers you, doesn’t it? How come? Is it about my resemblance to your wife?”
“Somewhat.” Actually, he was starting to wonder how he’d ever mistaken her for Ivana. She had a plucky strength and determination, a set to her chin, a way of holding herself that were completely her own. Still, he had questions.
She frowned and looked down at Bobby, who was starting to show signs of being done nursing. She turned a little away and wiped his mouth.
“Want me to burp him?” he asked before he could stop himself.
She quirked an eyebrow. “Can you?”
“Sure.” He leaned down and picked up the baby boy and held him against his shoulder. He was sturdier than Mia had been. Gina had mentioned that Bobby was ten months. Mia had made it only eight.
But propping a baby with one hand, flipping the burp cloth over his shoulder, patting the baby’s back, that all came right back to him. Like riding a bike. You didn’t forget.
He pulled Bobby a little closer, breathing him in, cherishing the feel of the baby, pretending he was Mia. Pretending his little daughter was still alive and well and happy. That he hadn’t driven Ivana from their home in a moment of anger and desperation.
If only none of it had happened.
“Look,” she said, “I’m sorry if I bring up memories for you. Maybe I’ll get on my feet quickly and be able to get out of here. But meanwhile...”
“Meanwhile what?” He was holding her baby in the rainy twilight, looking at her and finding her beautiful, and feeling like he might be stepping into the biggest mess of his life.
And then, as he adjusted the sweet little bundle in his arms, Bobby’s pajama leg came up and he saw it.
A bruise the size of a beer coaster. Or a man’s fist.
“If it were just me, I’d leave for your sake,” she said. “But this looks like the perfect safe place for Bobby, and I have to put him first.”
He concealed his reaction to the bruise and stroked the baby’s downy hair, his heart pounding. “Of course you do.”
“But I don’t know why I’m even talking to you about it. Your sister’s the one who’s determined to get rid of me.” She was looking up at him with troubled eyes as the wind blew a strand of hair in front of her face. “I don’t know what to do.”
He could see that it cost her to admit that, to ask for advice. She’d do it, though, for her son. He could already tell she was that kind of woman.
He didn’t think she could possibly have injured Bobby, which meant that someone else had done it. Someone she was running from?
And if so, what right did he have to push her away? Especially if it resulted in this little one being hurt again?
He patted Bobby’s back until a loud burp made them both laugh. Then he sat down in the rocker across from the porch swing, still holding Bobby.
“Want to tell me about Bobby’s father?”
She drew in a breath and let it out again, slowly, seeming to consider. Finally, she spoke. “Hank was...smart and handsome. And rich.”
He smiled. “Bodes well for Bobby.”
“Yes. I just hope he doesn’t inherit a couple of the other genes.”
“Like?”
“Like the addiction-prone one.”
“Oh.” Buck looked away, feeling ashamed. Addiction was considered genetic by some, but more of a character flaw by most. And it was a flaw he shared. “Did your husband ever do AA or anything like that?”
“He was more into cocaine,” she said, “but sure, he did NA. Plenty of times.”
“It never took?” That was discouraging. “You’re talking about him in the past tense. Is he dead?”
“He died not long after Bobby was born. Ski accident.”
“Drugs?”
She nodded. “Yes. He was high, skiing one of the most dangerous double black diamond slopes in California. He didn’t have a chance.”
“I’m sorry.” Why did a guy do drugs when he had a wife and baby who needed him?
Then again, why did any addict do what he did?
“So that’s not who you’re running from.”
She shook her head. “No. It’s...my in-laws.”
“Your husband’s family? What’s the problem there?”
She sighed. “Abuse, if you must know. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Buck’s pulse rate shot up. There it was. He’d like to get his hands on those people. “If they abused you or Bobby, they should go to prison.”
“They should, but they won’t,” she said with complete certainty.
“They’re that powerful?”
“They’re that powerful.”
The sky was black velvet now, the air cooling more. She huddled under the blanket she’d been using as a nursing cover. She looked so pretty. So vulnerable. So in need of protection.
As was the little baby now sleeping in his arms.
He wasn’t going to let anything happen between him and Gina, no way, but he had to let her stay. Dion had asked him to, and he had a lot to report to the police chief. And maybe, just maybe, it was a way for him to get over Ivana, move on. Maybe this was part of the restitution he was trying to practice in his recovery.
He was to make amends for wrongs he had done. Well, he was doing that with bar owners around town, with friends he’d borrowed from. With Lacey, who’d had to put up with a lot from him during his two-year drinking spree.
But the people he’d wronged the most were dead.
Could he make restitution through Gina and Bobby? Give something to them, and that way right the balance with his wife and child, who were beyond earthly help?
And once he’d made his restitution and saved up a little money, he’d leave. Leave, with a clean slate, and start over somewhere where nobody knew his past. It was what he wanted. All he wanted. All he was working for.
The wind blew the cool farm air toward the house, fragrant with fresh-plowed earth. Crickets sang out in a chorus. Streetlights flickered on down the block, where the shops were.
He slid one hand away from the baby and into his pocket where he carried his recovery coin. Six months sober. He could handle this new challenge.
“I’ll talk to Lacey,” he said gruffly. “Try to get her to let you stay awhile. And you can work on the renovation with me.”
Chapter Four
Later that night, Gina had just closed her eyes when her phone buzzed. She grabbed it, not wanting to risk waking Bobby.
When she saw it was her friend Haley, back in California, she sat upright. “Hang on,” she whispered and slipped a robe over her lightweight tank top and shorts.
Grabbing her phone, she hurried down to the small alcove on the landing of the stairs. It was one of the few public areas in the guesthouse that was finished, with lace curtains and a braided rug. She settled into the window seat, pulled her feet up underneath her and leaned back against comfortable cushions. She could see the half-open door of her room at the top of the stairs, so she’d notice if Bobby stirred.
“Okay, I can talk,” she said quietly. “How are you? I miss you so much!” Ever since she and Haley had shared a room on the maternity floor, their babies born within hours of one another, they’d been close friends. Haley was the only person in whom Gina had confided about her plans to leave town.
“I miss you, too, but that’s not why I called.”
“Are the dogs okay?”
Haley laughed. “They’re bad, and spoiled, but you know I love them. No, that’s not the problem.”
“Did you find anything out?” She was hoping, though not expecting, that Haley had figured out a way she could gain access to some of the money she should have inherited as Hank’s widow.
“It’s not good news.” Haley cleared her throat and went into business mode, not a problem for her since she worked in a bank. “I’ve been nosing around, and it sounds like assets in probate can be tangled up for a year, eighteen months if the estate is complicated.”
“Which it is.” Hank’s parents, seeing the mess Hank had made of his life after Bobby was born, had put most of his inheritance in trust. Gina even suspected that they’d gotten Hank to sign some CDs over to them when he was high.
“I talked to my manager—in confidence, didn’t identify you—and she said that because there wasn’t a will, there’s no way around this long process. I’m so mad Hank didn’t protect you and Bobby!”
“I know.” Gina’s chest ached, as it always did when she thought of Hank. He’d been so much fun when they’d first met; he’d swept her off her feet, had loved her madly. In the first two years of their marriage she’d realized his partying went further than it should—sometimes much further—but they’d still had a base of love and care for each other.
Bobby’s arrival had changed everything. The responsibility of fatherhood had overwhelmed Hank, and Gina, sleep deprived and cranky, hadn’t been as understanding as before. He’d gone off the deep end, dug into his bad habits and made the leap from recreational drug user to addict.
“He wasn’t thinking straight,” she said to Haley and left it at that.
“The good news is, within a few years, when it’s all straightened out, you and Bobby should be okay.” Haley’s voice didn’t sound all that reassuring, though.
“It sounds like there’s a but in there somewhere.”
“There is.” Haley’s voice sounded shaky. “Gina, there’s a big problem.”
“What? Tell me.” Gina’s heart felt like a stone. She wanted to start a new life, for herself but even more, for Bobby. But right now, it seemed like she’d never get free.
“It’s your in-laws. When I saw Hank’s cousin this morning, she told me they’re going to report your car as stolen.”
“What?” From the downstairs kitchen, Gina heard what sounded like an argument and lowered her voice. “That car’s mine! Hank gave it to me!”
“But is the title in your name?”
Gina squeezed her eyes shut as if she could block out this unwelcome news. “No. It was in Hank’s name.”
“And since the estate’s stuck in probate...”
Gina leaned her head back against the window, staring up at the ceiling. If they’d reported the car stolen, she was essentially a common criminal.
“Gina? Honey?”
Gina blew out a breath. “I’ll be tracked down for sure, then, because the police department here has my vehicle information. What am I going to do?” Her voice broke on the last couple of words, and she swallowed hard, determined to maintain control.