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Flynn sat near the bank on the trunk of an overturned pine tree, a recent casualty of their hard winter. She held her spine rigid, as if bracing for the worst. Did the prospect of seeing him fill her with that much dread?
For the thousandth time, he wished he could return to that morning weeks ago.
“Hi.” He spoke softly so as not to startle her, though she’d surely heard his boots crushing twigs and scraping across rough ground.
She swiveled to face him, watching him descend the last few feet. “Hi.” She smiled weakly. “Thanks for coming.”
He lowered himself onto the tree trunk beside her, choosing it over the boulder which sat twelve feet away. Their thighs brushed momentarily before she scooted sideways to accommodate him, but not before a rush of heat shot through him.
“You okay?” he asked, curious if she felt the same heat.
“Fine.” She held her clasped hands in her lap, their pale color matching her cheeks.
No heat rushing through her.
“Flynn, whatever you need. I’m here for you.”
“This is difficult.” She swallowed. Fidgeted. “I really hope you’re not angry with me.”
“There’s nothing you can do to make me mad.”
“You say that now.”
“If anything, you should be mad at me. I’m really sorry for the way I bailed on you. There was no excuse for it.” Not a good excuse, leastwise. Losing his nerve was a poor reason if Ace had ever heard one. “I can’t tell you how much I regret it. The leaving. Not…the night. Us.”
He needed to shut his mouth before he said something more stupid than he already had.
She exhaled a shallow, thready breath. “You’re not making this easy.”
“Just tell me. What’s wrong?”
She stared at the river with its pockets of foaming white water.
Was she, like him, remembering all the times they’d come here when they were dating? They’d fish for hours without talking much. If the evenings were especially sultry and the stars out in abundance, they made love.
“I really wish things were different,” he said, his fingers inching toward hers. “That I didn’t have so much going on.”
She stiffened. “Or, what? You’d ask me out?”
“Yeah, I would.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Ace’s hand went still, then fell to his side. “Wow.”
“It was an accident. I didn’t plan it. You have to believe me.”
“I do.” Their night together had been as spontaneous as it was amazing. “We failed to use birth control. It’s my fault more than yours.”
Of all the times in Ace’s life for him to slip up and be irresponsible.
Look what happened. Flynn was pregnant.
Ace concentrated on breathing, on forcing air into his collapsed lungs.
“I went to the doctor yesterday,” she said. “She told me everything’s fine. Progressing right on schedule.”
“That’s good.”
“You’re upset.”
“I’m surprised is all. Give me a minute.”
He’d always wanted children. It had been a frequent topic during their long-ago fishing trips. Just not yet. Later, when his vet practice was established and the new breeding business was running smoothly. When he didn’t have a quarter-of-a-million-dollar loan hanging over his head.
“I realize the timing isn’t great.”
Flynn had been reading his mind.
“I’ll support you and the baby in every way. Financially. Emotionally.”
“I’m going to apply for a student grant. That should—”
“You’re not still moving to Billings?”
“My plans haven’t changed.”
“Well, they need to change. This is my baby, too.”
“I realize that family is important to you. How could I not?”
She was referring to when they broke up ten years ago.
“After my dad died, I didn’t have any choice. I needed to finish school and help Mom run the ranch. There wasn’t anybody else to do it.”
“So you said. Countless times.”
“Tuf joined the Marines. Dinah was trying to turn her life around. Colt decided he’d rather be on the road than at home. What was I supposed to do?”
“Exactly what you did.”
“We were nearly broke, thanks to my dad.”
A surge of anger from years earlier resurfaced, stifling Ace. How could his father have been so careless with the ranch?
Easy. Alcohol had clouded his judgment.
“You’re right, your mom needed you.” Flynn rubbed her temples. “I didn’t mean to dredge up the past.”
“I want to be an active father. Change diapers. Take the 3:00 a.m. feeding. Rock him or her to sleep.” Ace wasn’t sure where this spontaneous paternal drive came from, only that the baby mattered greatly. “I can’t do those things if you’re in Billings.”
“Like you said, you have an awful lot on your plate right now.”
“This is my child. You have to stay.”
“Billings isn’t far. You can visit. Often.”
“I’m not driving an hour to see my child.”
“Once Dad sells the ranch and moves, there’s nothing keeping me here.”
Was he nothing?
Apparently so.
“What about your job?”
“I’m enrolling in nursing school.”
“Won’t that be an awful lot on your plate? School and taking care of a baby?”
“I can manage. Between my dad and my sister and day care.”
“Day care?” He scowled. “You’d let strangers take care of our child?”
“I’ll find qualified day care. The university may have a facility.”
“No.”
She gaped at him, her jaw slack. “I beg your pardon?”
“I don’t want you leaving our baby in day care. There has to be another solution.”
“Like what? You watch him?”
“Why not? He could stay here with me during the week and you have him on the weekends. My mom will help.” As if she wasn’t as busy as Ace.
“No way!”
“You don’t get to make all the decisions, Flynn.”
Her mouth quivered. “Neither do you.”
Ace paused, breathed deeply. He hated being harsh with her. “It’s only late March. You won’t be starting school until, what? The fall?”
“I was hoping to take some online classes this summer.”
“You can do that from here.”
“And Billings.”
“Not until your dad’s ranch sells, which gives us a little time to decide. Together.”
She shrugged.
“Flynn.” He took a chance, reached out and captured her hand. “We’re having a baby. It’s pretty incredible when you think about it.”
She wiped at the tears spilling from her eyes.
“Don’t cry.” He’d always been a sucker for a woman’s tears and ached to kiss her.
Better not. She’d probably club him up the side of the head.
A hug, that was the safer option.
He put an arm around her, pulled her close and stroked her back. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”
She surprised him by returning the hug and burying her face in his jacket.
He cupped the back of her neck, threaded his fingers into the hair that had escaped her colorful stocking cap.
“There’s another solution, you know,” he murmured.
“What’s that?”
“We get married.”
She pushed away from him. “Ace, I can’t.”
“Won’t you at least consider it?”
“No.”
Her quick and adamant rejection stung.
Was the prospect of marrying him really that intolerable?
* * *
“ACE, I’M SORRY. That came out wrong.” Flynn rose from the log and joined Ace at the creek bank where he stood watching the water rush past. “I wasn’t expecting you to propose. It really was a sweet gesture.”
“Sweet?” He looked crushed.
“Okay, that came out wrong, too.”
“Flynn, I’m serious. I want to marry you.”
“I know you’re serious. And, honestly, that’s what scares me.”
“Because of your divorce?”
“Marriage is a big commitment. Hopefully, a lifetime commitment. Take it from me, marrying for the wrong reasons can lead to a lot of unhappiness.”
“A child seems like a pretty good reason to me.”
She softened her voice. “You only proposed because you don’t want me to move.”
“That hit below the belt.”
“Maybe, but it’s true.”
“How do you know?”
“Let’s be honest. You don’t have feelings for me—”
“I do. Couldn’t you tell from our night together?”
“All right, then, what kind of feelings?”
“I care about you,” he replied, a tad too defensively.
What had she expected? A flowery declaration? “I made a promise to myself after my divorce. I’m not going to marry any man who doesn’t love me.”
“Your ex-husband didn’t love you?”
“Not enough to make our marriage work. The same with my parents. You know my mom walked out on us when I was young. What you don’t know is Paul did the same thing to me.”
Ace remained silent for several seconds. Several very telling seconds. When he finally spoke, it was haltingly. “The other night, it wasn’t just the sex. I haven’t been that close to anyone before.”
Looking away was impossible and, boy, did Flynn try. “For me, either.”
They’d been intimate a few times when they dated in college. Here at this very spot, in fact. But Flynn had been completely inexperienced and Ace not much more. Ten years had brought about a lot of changes, for both of them.
Ace’s skill as a lover had been matched only by his emotional intensity. He wasn’t always as strong and confident and capable as he wanted people to think. Sometimes he let his guard down.
He had that night, allowing her to see a vulnerable side of him he mostly kept hidden.
And she’d fallen a little more in love.
“There isn’t anyone else I’d want for the father of my baby,” she admitted. “You’ll be a good one, I’m sure of it.”
“Then give us a chance.”
“I told you—”
“Not to get married. I realize I’m rushing you. But to be the best parents we can. Raise our child together.”
She did owe him that much. “You’re right. We have time. I won’t be moving for a while.”
“I’m not going to change my mind. I want you and the baby living close to me.”
Flynn should have heeded her father’s advice more closely when he’d warned her about Ace’s determination.
“Are you going to tell your family?” she asked.
“Soon. Once I figure out what I’m going to say.” He smiled crookedly.
Flynn turned away from that charming smile to stare at the sun descending toward the distant mountaintops.
“What’s wrong?” Ace touched her shoulder.
“I’m worried about what they’ll think of me.”
“Mom will be overjoyed. She doesn’t understand how she could raise four kids to adulthood and none of them make her a grandmother yet.”
“I can see your mom being happy.”
“And she likes you.”
“I like her, too.” Flynn couldn’t picture a better, kinder grandmother than Sarah Hart.
Then again, almost anyone would be a better grandmother than Flynn’s own mother.
“Have you told your parents yet?” Ace asked.
“My dad.”
“And?”
“He’s pretty excited. He adores Nora’s two sons.”
“What about your mom?”
He would have to mention her mother.
Flynn sniffed. “I haven’t spoken to her since last Christmas.”
Her contact with her mother was infrequent and that suited her fine. For some reason, Nora had fewer painful memories of their childhood than Flynn and could talk to their mother without resentment rising up to choke her.
“Are you going to tell her?” Ace asked.
“Maybe. If I don’t, Nora will.”
Flynn’s gaze returned to the sunset. “My mother wasn’t what you’d call a good role model.”
“You’re not like her, Flynn.”
“Am I that easy to read?”
“You forget, I know you.”
Not like he thought he did or he’d see the love she carried around for him in her heart.
A painful lump in the back of her throat made speaking difficult. “I would never abandon my children for anyone or anything. Ever.”
“Neither would I. You and our baby are stuck with me for the long haul.”
She believed him. The Harts were close-knit, and Ace unerringly loyal.
That loyalty also scared her. He may not abandon her or their child, but he wouldn’t give as much of himself as Flynn needed. The family business and his vet practice would come first. It had before, it would again.
She shivered as a breeze swept over them. “We should probably head home. I don’t want to drive that road in the dark.”
He helped her to climb the slope, held her hand until she found her footing.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said at the top where their trucks were parked.
The words hung between them. If only he’d told her that a month ago, their conversation today might have gone differently. She’d still be pregnant, but she wouldn’t have so many doubts about his motives.
“All right. Evening is better. I’m working the day shift at the clinic this week.”
He walked her to her father’s truck and opened the door. Before she could climb in, he circled her waist and drew her close. It was nice to be held by a pair of strong, muscular arms, and Flynn let herself melt into his embrace. For a moment, she could almost believe everything was going to be all right.
How could she be mad at him for proposing and for wanting her to stay in Roundup? He might have had an entirely different reaction to her announcement. Told her the baby was her problem and refused any responsibility whatsoever.
Ace no sooner released her than her sense of security faded, leaving Flynn feeling alone and more than a little scared about what lay ahead.
Chapter Five
Ace liked starting every morning with a plan. Today, he intended to make headway with Midnight, somehow, someway. If he couldn’t discover what lay at the root of the horse’s unmanageableness and resolve the issue, he’d settle for behavior modification.
He gave himself one month.
If, at the end of that time, Midnight didn’t make measurable progress, Ace was going to recommend to his mother they sell him at the Miles City Bucking Horse Sale, take their losses and acquire a new stud.
Second on his list for the day was breaking the news to his family about Flynn’s pregnancy.
He’d kept the news to himself for several days, wanting to process the ramifications first. He still hadn’t decided between one big announcement at dinner or approaching each family member individually.
Their reactions didn’t worry him, he honestly believed they’d be thrilled for him and Flynn. There would be questions, however. Probing ones. He might grow less tired answering them all at once.
Carrying his favorite saddle to the pens behind the barn, he hoisted it onto the fence railing. Midnight tracked Ace’s every move, ears pricked forward, eyes alert. Ace made a second trip to the tack room, returning with a bucket of water, a sponge and a container of saddle soap. He also brought along a half-dozen carrots.
Setting the cleaning supplies on the ground, he opened the swinging panel in order to form a single large pen.
Midnight huffed and remained resolutely on his side, guarding his territory.
Ace set about cleaning his saddle, all the while maintaining a quiet conversation with the horse.
“I treated an old donkey at Angie Barrington’s animal rescue this morning. The darn thing had the worst eye infection I’ve ever seen. He’ll be lucky if he doesn’t lose his sight.”
Midnight wasn’t interested. His attention had started to wander to the mares and yearlings in the distant pasture.
After a few more minutes, a few more scrubbings on the saddle and a few more casual observations about his morning rounds, Ace removed his jacket and hung it on a fence post. The weather wasn’t quite warm enough to forego outerwear, but he’d make do. Picking up the carrots he’d brought, he shoved three in each of his back pockets.
Fifteen feet wasn’t so far away Midnight couldn’t smell a treat, and he instantly honed in on the carrots.
Ace resumed nonchalantly cleaning the saddle. He could practically hear the horse’s nostrils quivering. At one point, Midnight advanced a step closer, his hooves scuffling on the hard ground. Ace didn’t turn around, just kept cleaning the saddle. With any luck, Midnight would venture near enough to snatch the carrots from Ace’s pockets.
He was prepared to wait, the entire afternoon if necessary. Of course he might have the cleanest saddle on the whole ranch.
After another ten minutes, Midnight had crept inch by inch to about ten feet away, his head bobbing with frustration. He wanted those carrots.
All at once, he emitted a loud squeal and scrambled to the far side of the pen, hind legs kicking.
Ace looked up and spotted his brother Colt ambling toward him.
Just when Ace was getting somewhere.
He flung the sponge into the bucket, creating a small splash.
“What’s up?” Colt asked, completely indifferent to Ace’s irritation.
“I was working with Midnight. Until you scared him.”
“I did? Sorry.”
“Dammit, Colt. I gave strict instructions. I wasn’t to be disturbed.”
“You need a hand?” Colt rested his forearms on the fence beside Ace’s saddle, clearly not receiving the message to leave any more than he had Ace’s original instructions.
“Are you kidding?”
The only reason Ace didn’t get angrier with his brother was because of Midnight. The horse watched them warily from the farthest corner of the pen. A shouting match would only spook him and make him even more afraid of Ace.
That, and losing his cool with Colt would do no good. His brother was immune, wrapped up in his own world most of the time.
“I said I was sorry.”
Ace exhaled, reined in his temper. “It’s going slowly. I’m more and more convinced the livestock foreman mistreated Midnight and probably the other horses, as well.”
Colt shook his head. “I don’t get people like him.”
It was one of the few things Ace and his brother had in common. Mostly they were a study in contradictions, appearance and personalitywise. Strangers might not even recognize them as being related. Ace had inherited their father’s six-foot-plus height and dark looks. Colt, with his blond hair, green eyes and boyish, devil-may-care smile, resembled their mother and was often mistaken for being younger than his thirty-two years.
A few inches shorter than Ace, he was also leaner, giving him the kind of build better suited for competing in rodeos, which he did at every opportunity. There wasn’t a championship buckle he didn’t covet, an event at which he didn’t excel. And yet, he never seemed satisfied.
There had been a time when Ace was the better bareback bronc rider, and he still participated once in a while for fun or to blow off steam. As long as it didn’t interfere with work.
Another glaring difference between him and his brother. Ace put the ranch and family first. Colt, himself. He got away with doing less because, in Ace’s opinion, their mother let him.
In truth, so did Ace. Love and loyalty were nothing if not complicated.
What infuriated him the most was Ace knew Colt to be capable of so much more. His brother had true skill with horses and cattle, too. The kind of skill Ace envied. If Colt would just take life and himself a little more seriously, he’d astound everyone with his accomplishments.
And, possibly, Ace could relinquish some of his responsibilities around the ranch. Particularly in light of the fact he was going to be a father.
“Thought I should let you know I’m leaving Thursday for the Crazy Eights Rodeo.”
“Any chance you skip this one? We’re examining the mares on Thursday. Prepping them for breeding season next month.”
“Sorry, bro. I’m behind in steer wrestling and bull riding. I can’t afford to miss one weekend if I expect to qualify for Nationals.”
“December’s a long way away.”
“Every rodeo counts.”
Ace was wasting his time, but he couldn’t stop himself. “I need your help. Darrell’s girls are on school break. He’s taking the week off.”
“I can do it Monday.”
“That’s my surgery day.”
“Then Tuesday.”
“Forget it.” Ace didn’t bother reciting his list for Tuesday. Nothing short of a catastrophe would stop Colt from going to the rodeo in Bozeman. “I’ll just work Sunday.”
Another day of rest spent toiling. Ace should be used to it by now. Instead, he was tired and cranky.
“I’ll help you with the stock for the Western Frontier Pro Rodeo,” Colt offered.
He’d help because he was competing in that one, too.
“I realize you’ve got a lot on your plate right now,” Colt continued, “what with the new breeding business and all.”
“Do you?”
“Sure.”
Ace sensed his brother’s guard rise like an invisible shield in front of him.
“Then why can’t you stay home this one weekend?”
“I told you. I’m behind in two events.”
“Is making all-around cowboy more important to you than this ranch?”
“Hey, I respect you and what you do. You could return the favor.”
“What I do is work. Damn hard. I don’t gallivant around the countryside, chasing dreams.”
“You chase dreams.” Colt’s gaze traveled to Midnight. “They’re just here.”
“This family needs you, Colt.”
“This family has you.”
“And if they didn’t?”
Colt grinned. “Not going to happen.”
“It might. Things change.”
“Yeah, like what? We strike oil?”
“I have my own family.”
Colt laughed. “You need a woman for that, or hasn’t anyone told you?”
“Flynn’s pregnant. I’m the father.”
“I…” Colt took a step back, caught his breath. “I had no idea you and she were dating.”
“We’re not.”
“Then how—”
“Long story.”
“You’re smiling.”
Ace had been doing that a lot since yesterday. “I’m excited about the baby.”
“You are?”
“Hell, yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. Are you ready to be a dad?”
“I’ll be ready by the time the baby’s born. I like kids. I’ve always wanted to have my own.”
It was another area he and Colt seemed to differ. Ace’s brother had never expressed any interest in settling down, much less starting a family.
“Then I’m glad for you.” Colt’s flat voice sounded anything but glad.
“What’s wrong?”
“How did Mom take the news?”
“I haven’t told her yet. I will at dinner.”
“Good luck with that.”
“You think she won’t be happy?”
“She and Dad always wanted us to be married before we had kids.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not.” He would be, if Flynn weren’t so stubborn.
“I need to hit the road.”
“Colt. Hey, come on, man. Stay. I’m going to be spending a lot of time with Flynn while we figure things out. I could really use you.”
“Maybe if I win this weekend, some of the pressure will be off.”
The pressure his brother was under didn’t compare to Ace’s. He could feel it building inside him, a band stretched tight on the verge of snapping. But he maintained his cool, willed himself to calm down. Colt wouldn’t change, and Ace refused to be like their late father, whose favorite method of motivating his children had been to verbally berate them.
Or had Ace, as the oldest, been pushed harder than his siblings?
“Fine,” he said tightly. “Remember to call Mom, let her know you arrived. She worries.”
“Yeah. And congratulations again. Flynn’s a terrific gal.”
Colt left, his gait just shy of a dead run.
Ace remained at the fence, watching him. His brother was always in a hurry to leave the ranch behind, but this exit was particularly hasty.
Strange.
Hopefully when Ace told the rest of his family about Flynn and the baby, they’d react better.
Ace resumed his chore of cleaning the saddle, his concentration a shambles. He’d pretty much decided to quit for the day and tackle Midnight’s behavior problems tomorrow, when he felt something behind him. Startled, he patted his back pockets.