- -
- 100%
- +
He needed to decide on what to do about the future, but there was no rush. He had time.
Danny jumped up and down, his face shining with excitement. “Let’s go, Mommy. Let’s go!”
“In a minute, sweetie. I need to get some bottled water and a snack for us. You know you always get hungry at the park.” Susan smiled at her son as she headed to the kitchen to gather what she needed. Yesterday’s scare had faded to the background, but hadn’t totally disappeared. She sometimes didn’t know if she was going to make it as a single mother. Danny was a handful. Somehow she had to get him over chasing after strangers thinking they were Tom.
Yesterday’s trauma had been a strain but everything was fine—for now. Danny loved going to the park. Actually he loved going anywhere—to the store, preschool, visiting Mrs. Jordan, her neighbor who watched Danny when Susan had to work.
Susan put some dried fruit and two water bottles in the small backpack, checked to make sure the sunscreen was there and the wet-wipes. Picking up her dark glasses, she was ready. This spring had proved balmy and warm for New York City. She took advantage of the nearby park every chance she got. The grassy area gave plenty of running room for Danny and the playground section provided slides and swings and other equipment that he loved. It was a great way for him to burn off some of that energy he had.
Their apartment was tiny. It was all she could afford with her salary and the expense of preschool and Edith’s pay. The neighborhood wasn’t the best, but it was the best she could afford and be close enough to work that she didn’t spend hours commuting. She’d rather spend the time with Danny.
Passing through the crowded living room she glanced at Tom’s picture out of habit. She still missed him with an ache that never seemed to go away despite the two years that had passed since his death. They’d taken Danny for walks together before he died, but Danny had been in the stroller then. Wouldn’t Tom have loved watching Danny at the park playing with the other children—running around, yelling in sheer joy?
“Okay, I’m ready.” She smiled at her son, her heart swelling with love. He was such a darling boy. She wished Tom had lived to see Danny grow up. He’d been as excited as she when Danny had come into their lives. They’d made such plans for the future—family vacations, maybe buying a house one day with a yard so Danny could have a dog. Tom had wanted him to attend NYU. Sighing softly for what was not to be, she helped her son put his jacket on. It was up to her to make sure Tom’s dreams came true.
“Yay!” Danny ran to the front door and waited impatiently while his mother unlocked it and opened it. He was off like a shot to the elevator. “I can push the button,” Danny said proudly and pressed the down arrow.
Susan locked her door and hurried to follow her son. She wouldn’t put it past him to jump into the elevator without her in his excitement to get to the park.
Danny raced out of the elevator when it reached the lobby.
“Danny, wait!” She hurried after him and took his hand before he reached the large glass door that led outside.
Danny did not move slowly. She laughed as they raced the light at the corner. In only moments they reached the grassy expanse. Releasing Danny’s hand, she followed as he headed directly to the playground area. Several children she recognized were already running around, swinging, sliding down the slides and having a great time. Danny joined in with no hesitation.
Susan glanced around at the benches, looking for an empty seat. She spotted the man she’d met briefly yesterday, Zack Morgan. Did he live in the neighborhood? She didn’t remember seeing him before. And he was someone she would have remembered. Slowly she walked over. He looked up when she drew near and nodded in greeting.
“Good morning,” he said.
His voice was amazing, deep and husky. She remembered how tall he was. Even sitting, he gave the impression of strength and size. His hair was almost black. A dark tan gave him a healthy look, while faint lines around his eyes proved he squinted in bright sunshine. Spring had been nice, but not that nice. Was he a skier? That would explain the tan so early in the season. He was broad in the shoulders, muscular without appearing to be a bodybuilder. He looked totally out of place in the park. She glanced back at Danny. Seeing the man had her thinking of wide-open spaces and endless vistas. A man used to doing, not sitting. Why was he in the park today? Did he live nearby? Had he been a regular she’d overlooked before meeting him?
For an instant she had the insane urge to make sure her hair was tidy and she still wore lipstick.
She looked back and smiled politely. After a second’s hesitation, she sat beside him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t thank you properly yesterday,” she said.
“I didn’t find your child. The teacher did.”
“Just being willing to help was a good thing. I appreciate it. And the fact that you looked. Many people would have been too busy.”
“I’m glad he was safe,” Zack said, glancing over at the children. The folded newspaper at his side indicated he’d been there for some time. Did he have a child playing with the others?
“I’m Susan Johnson.” She reached out to shake his hand. His palm was hard, callused. His grip was firm without being too hard. The tingling sensation that ran up her arm surprised her and she pulled back quickly, more aware of the man than she ought to have been.
“We met yesterday. You were a bit flustered, though. No lasting aftereffects after your scare?”
“Just a constant worry of that child of mine making me gray way before my time,” she replied, sitting back and relaxing, her gaze on Danny. She was not taking the chance he’d run after some other man today.
After a few moments of silence, she glanced at Zack and was surprised to find him watching the children play. Somehow he didn’t seem like a man who spent a lot of time with children.
He noted her look and returned her gaze. “I haven’t seen kids play like this in a long time. I’ve been on assignment overseas for the last five years.”
“Are you in the military?” she asked, curious.
“No, construction. We’ve been building bridges and dams and housing projects in the Middle East. When I had leave, I toured Europe. I’m on leave right now—enforced unfortunately. Got too close to a land mine.”
“Oh my gosh,” she said. “I’m sorry. Are you all right?”
“Things will work out. I’m back on my feet and everything is functioning. But it’ll take a little while until I’m one hundred percent again. I’ve been gone overseas so long, I feel like a stranger in my own country.”
“You’ll get used to things quickly, I bet. Are you from New York?”
“No. Originally from Chicago. But I haven’t lived there in fifteen years. I’m thinking of subletting an apartment close to the hospital where I’m getting physical therapy until I decide where to settle.”
“You picked a great place to recuperate. I love New York. I’m from here originally and can’t imagine living anywhere else.”
“Hard place to raise a kid, though, isn’t it? Don’t you wish for a backyard where he could play safely by himself? Maybe get a dog? A safer neighborhood?” Zack asked.
Susan took a breath, startled that he captured the ideal Tom had often voiced. Was it a universal male thing? Her defenses rose when he mentioned a safer neighborhood. It was something she thought about a lot. The few blocks surrounding their apartment were not the best in the city, but it was the best she could afford. It wasn’t too much of a problem while Danny was still little. She worried about when he got older. What if he fell in with the wrong crowd. Even a gang. She would like a better home, but her talents were limited and she earned more where she was than a teacher would. Which was the only other thing she had trained for. But she wasn’t sharing that with a stranger, no matter how much he interested her.
“He’s too young to take proper care of a dog. Maybe when he’s older. Pets are allowed in our building, you know.” There would be no house with a yard for them.
“Oh,” Zack said.
“The preschool he goes to two mornings a week is close, as is shopping. And I don’t have the upkeep of a yard.”
“Do you work nearby?” he asked.
“At the UN. I’m a translator. German.”
And lucky to get such a well-paying job after her husband’s death. They’d planned on her staying home with the baby, not having a day care provider be with their child all day. Unfortunately things didn’t turn out that way.
“And your husband?”
She took a deep breath. The shock of loss still startled her. “He died a couple of years ago. He was an attorney.” Susan sought Danny. He laughed as he slid down the slide, chased by two friends. She smiled at his happiness. So often he lapsed into sulks with his father gone. He and Tom had enjoyed a special bond by the time Danny turned two.
“Sorry to hear about your loss. Cute kid you have.”
“I’m so grateful for Danny. He kept me going when Tom died.”
Susan watched her son. She didn’t want him to forget Tom, so she had photographs all around the apartment. She told him stories about Tom as a boy. And about how they had met and got married. She wanted Tom to be a part of his life even though Danny’s memories would fade over time. She wondered even now if he had any real memories, or just the stories she told about his daddy, and the pictures he saw every day.
Sometimes Susan couldn’t remember a detail or two. She’d panic and search in her mind. She never wanted to forget anything about the man she’d loved so much.
“Do you have a child here?” Susan asked, looking at all the children. There had to be twenty, of all ages from toddlers with their mothers nearby to children aged seven or eight.
“No. I just wanted a place to sit in the sun and read the paper. It was only after I was here a while that children started arriving. The playground is quite a draw, isn’t it?”
“Closest playground in this area. With all the apartments around here, you know there’re lots of kids,” she explained. “We come as often as we can. It’s a great way for Danny to play with friends and get fresh air and sunshine. Probably not so appealing to people who want to also enjoy the fresh air but not have the noise.”
Zack shrugged. “It suits me. I like to watch them. I know very little about children. I live in a world of men in a harsh environment. No grass where I’ve been the last eighteen months. This is like an oasis.”
“Where have you been?”
“In a small country in the Arabian desert. We were building a dam across a river. The lake behind it will give irrigation to hundreds of acres for agricultural purposes.”
“Did someone protest?”
“No.” He looked puzzled.
“You said you are recovering from a land mine explosion,” Susan said.
“Oh, that. I was temporarily assigned to another site our company is handling, closer to the war zone. That’s where the mine was.”
“Anyone else hurt?”
He shook his head. “One man killed, but no one else injured.”
“That’s awful.”
“It’s amazing how life can change in an instant,” he said. “Or end as quickly.”
She nodded. “That’s what happened to me. One minute my husband was alive and on his way home from work, the next dead when a drunk driver ran a red light and killed him. No warning. No time for goodbyes.”
He glanced at her but she watched Danny. The aching grief was never far away. “That must have been tough. Especially with a child.”
She nodded. “But we’re getting by,” she said— to convince Zack or herself?
Zack had taken a chance that Susan Johnson would bring Danny to the park this morning. The weather forecast had been for a warm day and he hoped she was in the habit of letting her son play outside. He’d read the entire newspaper and about given up when he’d seen them cross the street. Patience was not a virtue he considered he had. But it had paid off today.
And luck, as well, when she joined him on the bench. There were other empty spots she could have chosen. He was glad she sat beside him.
The more she spoke, the more he wanted to know about her. There was sadness in her eyes. She still grieved her husband. But when she looked at Danny, she seemed to light up inside.
How would it feel to have someone look at him that way? He hoped his mother had at least one time, but he would never know. He’d never met a woman who loved him. He wasn’t sure it was possible. There had to be something wrong with someone who had been abandoned by his parents, shuffled around in foster care and unable to make a lasting commitment.
Zack frowned. That wasn’t true. He had made a commitment to work and stuck by it despite the real hardships and uncomfortable—even dangerous— living conditions.
But relationships were different.
He hadn’t even warranted a note from Alesia telling him about his son.
He shifted slightly, trying to ease the ache in his back. He was stiffening up. He needed to walk again. But he hated to leave. He might never get another opportunity like this to speak with the woman who was now mother to his child.
There was so much to find out.
“Are you staying nearby?” Susan asked.
He nodded. “In a small hotel.” Nearby was relative. The hotel was certainly closer than his work site. It required a subway ride and a walk of several blocks, but he wasn’t going to tell her that if he didn’t need to.
“I wish I knew of someone subletting an apartment or something,” she said. “It has to be costly to stay in a hotel, no matter how modest.”
Zack decided not to tell her the company was picking up the expenses. All medical costs as well. Then what she said registered. She would suggest a place for him to sublet? Close enough he might see Susan and Danny again? He hadn’t thought about getting to know them. He’d only wanted to make sure his son was healthy and happy.
He had at least two more months, maybe longer, before the doctor would certify him for work. He could spend some of it here—with the woman beside him and his son.
“I appreciate the thought,” he said.
She frowned. “I’ll ask around. There has to be something, though sublets get snapped up fast. Housing is so expensive here.”
“Why not move to a more affordable place?”
“This is the closest apartment to the UN I could afford. I don’t want to spend any more time away from Danny than I have to, which moving out farther would entail.”
He hadn’t thought about that. There was a lot more involved to family life than he’d originally considered. Maybe he should look for a sublet closer to the UN, in a nicer neighborhood, and then give it to Susan when he left.
“I guess you won’t be here long enough for a sublet,” she mused.
“Another two or three months. If someone was traveling or something, I could house-sit. But not for longer than that.”
“I’ll let you know if I hear anything,” she said. “How can I reach you?”
Zack started to say just look for me here every day, but thought better of it. He reached into his pocket for his wallet, withdrawing one of his business cards. He stared at it. He couldn’t remember the phone number of the hotel and if he told her the name she’d know it wasn’t that close.
He looked at her. “I don’t remember the hotel number. Tell you what, I’ll get a cell phone later today and if you’re here tomorrow, give that number to you.” He held out his card to her. “In the meantime, this is information about the company I work for. In emergencies, they can always contact employees. They know where we are.”
“Okay.” She smiled and then took the card. The company was a well-known construction firm that built large-scale buildings, dams and roads worldwide.
For a moment Susan wanted to give her number to this stranger. She’d run into him briefly yesterday and then again today. She didn’t know him from Adam, but he had helped her yesterday. He didn’t know where she lived, so couldn’t be following her. If he were staying around here, this park was a nice place to sit in the sunshine.
He interested her in a way a man hadn’t in a long time.
She felt suddenly alive around him.
Blinking, she looked away. For some reason he seemed more confident and secure than the men she usually saw on a daily basis—without being overbearing or arrogant.
She checked on Danny again and then looked around at the other benches occupied with parents and others visiting the park. She always kept watch to make sure Danny was safe. Today she’d forgotten to pay attention to Danny every second. He was fine, but it was unlike her to forget him even for a second.
Being with Zack stirred her senses and made her more curious than warranted. And had her offering to help where no help was asked for. Maybe he liked living in a hotel. Why had she opened her mouth and made such an impulsive offer? It was unlike her. Or at least the her she’d been the last couple of years.
Susan waved to Danny when he yelled to her. He ran over, eyeing Zack suspiciously.
“Come and have a drink of water. You’ve been running around so much,” she said, drawing a bottle of water from her tote.
“Who is that?” Danny asked, staring at Zack.
“The man who helped me look for you yesterday, remember? Zack Morgan,” Susan said.
Danny drank his water and then smiled. “Hi,” he said.
“Hi yourself,” Zack replied. He studied the child for a moment then smiled. “You like the slides I can tell.”
“Yes. I can climb up all by myself and then go down. Watch.” Danny thrust the water back at Susan and ran back to the slide, waiting his turn to mount the stairs and slide down. He looked at Zack with pride.
Zack made a thumbs-up sign.
“He’s so proud of his accomplishments,” Susan said. “I keep hoping he’ll adjust to his father’s death. He keeps looking for Tom whenever we go out.”
“Tough break for both of you,” Zack said.
Susan nodded. “And scary if he runs off like yesterday.”
Zack stretched slowly and then rose. “I have to get moving. I’m stiffening up,” he said. He reached for the paper and looked at Susan. “Want this or shall I toss it?”
“I’ll take it if you’re finished with it. Are you okay?”
“I will be, just need to keep moving. Nice to talk to you.”
“We’ll come tomorrow, you can give me your phone number and I’ll let you know if I hear of a sublet.” She watched as he walked away. She could tell he was in pain. She hadn’t noticed a limp yesterday, but he definitely was favoring his left leg as he slowly walked on the path through the park. Once he reached the sidewalk, it wasn’t long before he was lost from view.
Susan studied his card. Zackary Morgan, engineer. He was as different from Tom as any man she knew. His hand had been callused and hard. He was tanned and rugged. He lived in foreign countries and did work only a very few could handle. Yet their paths had crossed and Susan was glad for it.
She may have been a tad pushy about offering to find him a place, but she wanted to do something for him. He’d offered her help yesterday. Now it was her turn.
Was that all? To repay his offer? She refused to dwell on why, but she hoped she had not seen the last of Zackary Morgan.
CHAPTER TWO
SUNDAY it rained. Susan was disappointed. There would be no going to the park that day. After breakfast, she stood at the window for a little while, watching the water trace down the pane. It was not a quick shower that would end soon. She had wanted to take Danny out.
And maybe run into Zack.
Sighing softly, she turned and went to gather the laundry. It was a chore she never relished. The dark basement that housed the two washing machines for their building gave her the creeps. She wished it could be painted and more light added. At least she didn’t have to go to a public laundry and wait. So far no one had taken her clothes when she had left them in the apartment laundry.
It was early afternoon when the phone rang. Susan answered quickly. Danny was sleeping and she didn’t want him to waken.
“Hi, darling,” her mother greeted her.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Your father’s napping, so I thought I’d call.” Her mother usually called once every week or so from Florida. Susan missed her parents and relished their chats on the phone.
“Danny’s sleeping, too,” Susan said, settling down on the sofa.
“How are things?” her mother asked.
“Okay. Danny scared me to death on Friday.” Quickly Susan gave her mother a recap. “I don’t know what to do with his chasing after men thinking they are Tom.”
“He’ll grow out of it sooner or later,” her mom said.
“But in the meantime, I could die of fright if he disappears again. Or he could seriously get lost or abducted.”
“What he needs is a father figure. That’s what he’s missing. I wished we lived closer. Your father loves the time he spends with Danny.”
The image of Zack Morgan rose. She frowned. Why had he sprung to mind when her mother spoke of a father figure? He was the last person who would be interested in children. He said he hadn’t been around them. His job would not be good for any kind of family life.
But she could fantasize. That he’d ask her out. That he’d like to spend time with Danny. The bubble burst. The only dates she’d had in the last two years had not ended well. She resigned herself to her single status—at least for another ten years or so.
“I worry about you two living in that neighborhood,” her mother was saying.
“We’ve been through this, Mom. It’s the best I can do.”
“You could move down here. It’s less expensive.”
“And do what?”
“Teach.”
“I love my job. It’s exciting and keeps me up on all the world events.”
“But you are so far away and we miss seeing Danny.”
Susan refrained from reminding her mother they had moved away three years ago, not her. Florida offered a better climate for her father. She missed them, even more after Tom had died. But she did not want to move there herself. She’d miss New York too much. Besides, she was managing fine.
“I’ll send more pictures,” she offered.
“It’s not the same. I’ll call back later and talk with Danny,” her mother said.
“He’d like that, Mom.”
They chatted a few more minutes. Susan hung up and leaned back on the sofa. It was still raining. She might have chanced the park had it been warmer. Just to walk over in case Zack had walked there for exercise. She could tell he had been in pain yesterday sitting on the bench. She wished she knew more about his injuries and if he would completely recover. She hoped so. He looked too virile and active to be satisfied with a desk job when he could be out building mammoth structures.
The rainy weather continued until Friday and by Saturday morning, Susan was anxious to get to the park. She’d asked around about a place to sublet and a woman at work knew of one.
That was the only reason she wanted to see Zack, she told herself. To tell him about the apartment before it was taken.
Danny was delighted to be heading to the park after so many days inside. He had tried Edith Jordan’s patience by Thursday and she’d been glad for preschool on Friday.
When they reached the park, Danny dashed to the playground. Susan looked at each bench. No sign of Zack.
Only when she felt the sweep of disappointment did she realize how much she had hoped to see him again.
She sat on the bench they’d shared last week and watched Danny play. The usual group of children were here. She waved at a couple of mothers she knew but didn’t walk over to talk with them. Maybe Zack would still show up.
It was getting close to lunchtime. She hoped Danny wouldn’t put up a fuss to return home. She had some chores to do and wanted to call one of her friends and discuss dinner one night next week. Laura had a son a year older than Danny. The two boys loved to play together.