Killer\Foulkner. Пьесы для Англии

. And that time my period was late. Please don’t let me be pregnant. They say if you have one abortion you’ll never have kids. He still wouldn’t marry me, even if I was pregnant. Literature class, in the fifth grade, room fourteen on the second floor. My legs felt sticky. And I saw blood on my legs, and my dress, and the chair. The teacher took me to the toilet, gave me a pad, sent me home. And none of the class made fun of me as like they were scared, because this was a new thing. I was the first. Nobody knew what this thing was. OKSANA

. We got out of the car and he drove off. Not a word. Not even a goodbye. Even the car was quiet, like it was sneaking away. ANDREW

. Didn’t tell us anything about the life of a businessman. Didn’t want to talk to mere mortals, apparently. I was ashamed of how I looked. Like I’d slept in a dumpster. Some kind of beggar princess. OKSANA

. It’s like a picture postcard. River here, bridge there, forest on the left, mountain on the right and on top of it, an old church, which was a primary school, then a vocational college, and now is a church again. Shops and a club. This band played there once. Andrey Derzhavin. Good gig. ANDREW Stalker

. Of course the village was a shit hole. The club was an actual building I guess. Trailers instead of shops. OKSANA

. I showed her the police station. The old wooden building and the new brick one. The wooden one’s been there since 1937 when the two previous villages were amalgamated. There was a drunk tank that the drunks used to tunnel out of. They’d catch them straight away. Nowhere to hide around here. ANDREW

. We stopped by the police station and sitting behind the security bars there’s this fat kid with glasses who was in Andrew’s class. They forgot about the old men in the car wreck straight away, and started talking about some guy called Sashka Tugarinov who’d hanged himself in a woodshed while he was wasted. OKSANA

. Tugarinov had come back from army service and got married straight away. Their parents bought them a studio flat on the other side of the river. They’d been living together a month and he came home really drunk, she got pissed and told him to go to his mothers. He went to the woodshed and hanged himself. She was really torn up, said it’d have been better if he’d just carried on drinking. But what’s done is done. ANDREW

. I couldn’t get why he was so upset. Was Tugarinov a close friend or something? OKSANA

. We were enemies right from nursery school. We used to beat the shit out of each other. Pretty well matched. Then he got stronger and started winning more. One time, back when we were actually speaking he even borrowed a tape off me. That started the whole thing off again. He corners me at the club, said «I want a bottle off you tomorrow’ and I said «Where will I get a bottle from?» and he said «I want a bottle off you – tomorrow’ and I said «Yeah – but where from?» and he kind of knows he’s making a dick of himself but he says «Will I get a bottle off you tomorrow?» and I said «Where from?» and then he punched me in the face. Twice. And I fell over. And he left. And one time I was standing on the porch smoking with Yurka Chesnokov. I was wearing this black cap I got off my dad. And Tugarinov came up and he smoked a cigarette, without saying a word and after a bit he said «I wanna wear your hat’ and he just took it and fucked off. I couldn’t work out why he scares me so much. I’ve always been an OK fighter, even if I was fighting someone like two or three years older. I used to be all over them – they’d have to peel me off. But Tugarinov scared me. Like, this paralysing fear. Probably cos when you’re in an actual fight everything flows, it’s all in the moment. But when you’ve got the fear about a thing or a person you wind yourself up and there’s kind of nothing you can do about that. One time I was walking back from the shop and he was walking by with some other dude and he said «Hello you fucking schmuck’ and I just said «Hello’ back. I hated myself for that. He made me his bitch, basically. And now he’s dead and I’ll never be able to say «No, YOU fucking schmuck’. God damn it. I guess I should be happy to be alive, but I don’t. I feel like a part of me just got amputated. ANDREW