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“Sebastian?” she asked in a soft…almost uncertain voice.
His gaze shot from her breasts to her face and he felt himself going red. When was the last time that happened? He was a twenty-seven-year-old millionaire in his own right. He’d left blushing boyhood behind too long ago to remember it, if indeed it had ever been a phase for him. “Yes?”
“I…uh…I wondered if you wanted…um…”
“Yes?”
She was silent for several seconds, chewing on her bottom lip, looking too damn delectable. Then she said all in a rush, “Maybe we could go for a walk down State Street.”
“Sure. If you’ve got the time.” Once again, her regular bodyguard believed that she was studying. This time, at home.
When Hawk had learned Lina knew how to bypass the security and leave the apartment she shared with a chaperone next to the one that housed her security detail, he’d been ready to strangle somebody. Her bodyguards were at the top of Hawk’s list. How many times had the princess left her home unprotected? Hawk had not revealed the security breach to the family retainers, though.
He was operating under the assumption that the threat to her family could be from within and he wasn’t taking any risks. He would give a full report with detailed suggestions for improving security for the princess when this situation was over. He had another operative from his staff at Hawk Investigations watching Lina’s building when he slept. And she was supposed to be sleeping. With the feisty princess one could never be sure.
Normally he would have the entire case assigned to his operatives, but Hawk had made his investigative agency an international contender and multimillion dollar company by knowing when it was prudent to take a personal interest in a client’s needs. He’d certainly made the right call this time.
Lina moved close to him as they walked along the tree-lined street near the capitol building and, of its own volition, his arm snaked around her petite waist.
It was only natural considering his role, but it felt too good. Not only was she a client (even if she didn’t know he was her paid protector), but Hawk didn’t do affectionate gestures and warm fuzzy feelings. His liaisons with women were just that. Commitment free, exchanges of pleasure without any false protestations of emotion. He didn’t even have female friends. He had no interest in getting serious with a woman. In any guise. Ever.
Every woman he had known had been devious in her own way. The woman who had given him birth had pretended maternal interest until the day she found a more lucrative benefactor than his father. She’d dumped them both and had contacted Hawk exactly twice in the intervening years. Both times she had wanted to use him. He’d let her the first time, but known enough to send her packing the second.
His grandmother was just as mercenary, though she’d stayed with Hawk’s grandfather. He didn’t know if the men in his family sucked at picking out women to share their lives with, or were simply unlucky. Either way, he’d managed to follow family tradition twice before establishing a firm rule about the type of relationship he was willing to have with the feminine sex.
Which was none at all. Not with the women related to him and not with the women who occasionally shared his bed.
While the things he felt around Lina were more intense and harder to control, he had to control them. Because she was no different than the other women in his life he should have been able to trust.
She lied to her security detail and family on a regular basis. Would she be any more trustworthy in a relationship?
He didn’t think so. After all, she hadn’t yet told him the true nature of her life. They might not be in a relationship and she wasn’t even a candidate for a brief liaison. But she didn’t know that. As far as she knew, their flirtatious friendship could go anywhere. Yet she still maintained the deception about her life.
And that life—her existence as a princess—was one reason the depth of his desire for her was so completely unacceptable. Even if she wasn’t his assignment, an affair would carry too many complications with it.
Not only was there the whole virginity thing, but Lina herself was not the type of woman to be content with a little, or even a lot, of between the sheets pleasure. She was more the type to believe in everlasting love and the whole fantasy that went along with it.
He might not trust her. He may be more cynical than other men still naïve to the ways of women, but Hawk wasn’t about to be the cause of Lina’s shattered fantasies. That would happen soon enough. Life would see to it.
Not even a princess was immune.
On top of all of that, Hawk had worked too hard to build his company into an international power player in the industry. He wasn’t risking its reputation for a woman. No matter how enticing she was.
Flashing faster than instantaneous replay, scene after scene of her time with Sebastian rolled across the movie screen in Lina’s mind.
Sebastian had offered to drive her to the kayaking excursion in his car. A Dodge Viper, the same gunmetal gray of his eyes, the powerful sports car didn’t have room for anyone else. So they would spend the ninety-minute drive to the campground alone. She found her attention occupied by his profile and the way his powerful thighs bulged in his jeans, rather than the admittedly gorgeous scenery out the window.
She’d spent endless hours thinking about this man, trying to decide if he was as interested in her as she was in him.
She had no experience and no one she felt comfortable going to for advice. That left her with her own opinion based on…well nothing. Okay, there’d been the gossip from other girls in high school, but none of it seemed to apply. Sebastian wasn’t pushing for sex or copping a feel every time they were in a remotely private place.
She thought it was probably because he was older, a graduate student who already had some experience in the business world.
She was pretty sure he desired her, though. The way he looked at her at times made her brain melt. And other bits as well.
She’d tried reading women’s magazines, but they all touted open communication in a relationship. Did that mean she was supposed to just ask him?
She would rather pick up on nonverbal clues. And she was convinced there were some.
Sometimes, his eyes would gleam with something that responded to the ache deep in her womb whenever he was around. But he had never acted on it and they had been seeing each other for three weeks now. They hadn’t had any dates per se, but he’d been around pretty much constantly since she’d run into him in the quad.
Since he did not seem like a big joiner, the fact that he was at meetings she’d never before seen him at or rallies she was pretty sure he had no personal interest in, she had to assume she was the reason he showed up. Which meant he wanted her, right?
It amazed her, really. That a man like Sebastian would be interested in Lina Marwan was pretty incredible. She was accustomed to people being drawn by her royal status, but like the rest of the students at the university, he had no way of knowing she was a princess. But he liked her…maybe…
He was everything she had dreamed of finding in a boyfriend, not that he was actually her boyfriend.
She sighed. Sebastian gave her a questioning look. She smiled a little and shrugged. Thankfully he didn’t ask her what she was thinking. She might just blurt it out and embarrass herself unbearably.
He was so gorgeous; he was assertive without being domineering. He listened to her, maybe even better than her brother. He was smart and driven—his going for an MBA showed that. And he was intense in this really, super sexy way. Was it any surprise she was falling for Sebastian Hawk in a big way?
The problem was that sometimes she was convinced that all he wanted was friendship.
She was so bad at this whole male-female thing. Her lack of practical experience was becoming a real nuisance. If she had been like the other girls who attended the female-only academy she had, she would have at least had a chance when not in school to meet people of the opposite gender. To learn to flirt for goodness sake. Though she had to admit that even if she had the opportunity, the male dominant nature of her family had made her wary around men and she probably would have shied away from any sort of interaction.
That caution combined with the reality that in order to date it would have meant further deceptions, or the indignity of being subjected to not only a bodyguard, but a chaperone as well, had also kept her from pursuing or responding to the pursuit of any guys since she’d arrived at university. Until Sebastian.
Of course, it helped that he was willing to spend time with her doing the things she already arranged for involvement in.
Only…for this man, she would do whatever it took to see him personally. She just wished she knew what to do with him.
Not that lack of experience had ever stopped her from trying something that she wanted to. She was not the demure, ornamental—aka useless—piece of feminity her father believed her to be.
Sebastian was so different from the men in her family. He never dismissed her thoughts as unimportant simply because she wasn’t heir to a throne or provincial position. He wasn’t surprised by her intelligence and he didn’t seem to think her political science major was a waste of her time. Not that he knew why she had chosen that major, but he acted like he believed she could, and most likely would, do something valuable with her education.
That was her hope.
She’d spent her childhood separated from her home, only to see her parents and siblings one week out of the year when she flew to Marwan and stayed in the royal palace with them. She did not remember her parents ever touching her with affection, and knew for a fact her father had never once given her any recognition as anything but his inferior female offspring.
She refused to spend her adult life feeling and being insignificant. She wanted to make a difference in the world and not merely as the attractive, well mannered appendage on some man’s arm.
“You’re pretty quiet over there,” Sebastian said.
“I was thinking how different you are from the men in my family.”
“Yes?”
“Yes.”
“In what way?”
“You don’t discount me simply because I’m female.”
“Who does that?”
“My father. To some extent my uncle. Others.”
“Your brother?”
She didn’t remember mentioning her brother, but she must have done so. She gave one of the rare smiles that occurred when she thought of her family. “My brother is different. He has been raised to be just like my father, but he’s not. You can’t tell on the surface, but he does special things to let me know.”
“Like what?” Sebastian’s obviously genuine interest encouraged her to be more open with the truth than she would have normally.
“He spends time with me.”
“Don’t your parents?”
“My mother does…sort of.” Though the sessions spent training Lina for her station could hardly be classified as mother-daughter bonding time.
“Not your father?” Sebastian didn’t sound surprised or disapproving, simply curious.
“No. He’s far too busy to spend quality time with a mere daughter.” Though, according to her sister, their father made limited time available to his daughter still living in Marwan.
“That bothers you?”
“Wouldn’t it you?”
He looked a little startled and then shrugged. “I suppose. But in my case it was my mother that couldn’t be bothered to see me. My dad is and has always been pretty busy with his business interests, too, though.”
“And that doesn’t upset you?”
“Why should it? I’m busy with my own life.”
“So, you don’t think a family should spend time together?”
“You mean the dream of dinners together and family camping trips every summer?”
“Something like that.”
“If you’re born into a family like that, I’m sure it’s nice. But if you aren’t, you have to accept your circumstances and move forward.”
“Or change them.”
Again, he looked surprised by her comment.
“How would you do that?”
“Me, personally? I plan to marry someone who believes family is as important as I do or I won’t marry at all. I will spend time getting to know my children, if I have any. No son or daughter of mine will grow up feeling expendable.”
“You think you are expendable to your parents?”
“I know I am.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I came to the U.S. at the age of six because my mother’s older sister had been unable to conceive and it was decided that she would be given the honor of raising me. I only see my parents once a year, for a week.” She never ever gave details of her life to people, but Sebastian was different. She trusted him.
“And your brother?”
She smiled again, warmth filling her at thoughts of her brother. “When I’m staying with my parents, he makes sure we eat at least one meal together each day. And we talk. He asks about my life and listens to my answers. He praises me for my grades and other things. He’s the only person in my family who knows that I was on the kayaking team at school. He also makes sure he comes to visit me every time he is in America. My father flies to Washington, D.C., at least twice a year, but he’s never once made the additional effort to come see me as well. Even when he and my brother are traveling together and Hasim makes arrangements to do so.”
“I’m sure he’s confident that you are well taken care of by your aunt and uncle.”
“I am. I don’t want to denigrate them in any way to you. My aunt is sweet, if a bit reserved, and my uncle is much more open to new ideas than my father, having been raised himself in Canada. He was a third son.
Though sometimes family attitudes still show, I was allowed to attend university only at his insistence. If it had been up to my parents, I would have gone to a finishing school in Europe.” Even after her father had agreed to her university education, Lina had taken the added precaution of pursuing United States citizenship as soon as she turned eighteen.
It had taken her two years and had been the reason she’d learned to ditch her bodyguard as well as how to get out of her home undetected. She had two sets of papers. Her Marwanian papers, which she used traveling under the aegis of her country’s ruling family. She also had legitimate U.S. passport and citizenship papers, which her family knew nothing about.
As a Marwanian citizen, her father had had final say over anything and everything in her life, no matter what her age. That was not true for all Marwanian women, but as a member of the ruling family, she could not legally act without her father’s permission. However, as an adult U.S. Citizen, her freedoms were numerous including the right to refuse to return to Marwan if it became necessary.
“But your relationship with your parents makes you unhappy?”
“My lack of a relationship. Like I said, if I have children, I want a different life for them.”
“I am sure you will succeed at whatever you set your mind to.”
She gave him a glowing smile. She was definitely falling in love with this man. “Thank you.”
* * *
When they arrived at the cabins the kayaking group was staying in, Hawk noticed only one other car there. It turned out to be Bob’s. He and three more members of the group were still unloading. Hawk made sure that he was in one of the bedrooms of the cabin Lina was staying in. He noticed that Bob did, too. In fact, they were sharing the room. Which worked for Hawk. He was a fan of efficiency and this would allow him to keep an eye on both the princess and her wannabe hook-up.
Lina was sharing her room with one of the other coeds. A blonde who looked like a pinup and talked like
G. I. Jane. Lina told Hawk when they were reconnoitering the lake (well he was surveying their environment, Lina was just walking) that the blonde was former military and had just started university this semester.
Hawk had known that from his agency’s reports. What he hadn’t known was that Lina’s admiration for the other woman’s independence and lifestyle bordered on hero-worship.
“She’s been to seedy bars in more countries of the world than I’ve even visited.”
“And you see this as a good thing?” Hawk asked.
Lina’s laugh was joyous and too damned appealing to his libido. “Yes. My life has been so sheltered. A weekend like this is as about as adventurous as I’ve ever gotten.”
“But you want more adventure?” Hawk asked with a sinking feeling. If her family didn’t beef up Lina’s security, she would get that adventure. She was too resourceful not to.
“Yes. I want to travel. I want to do things…help people. See the world, but not as a member of…um…the privileged classes. As someone trying to make a difference.”
“You make it sound like you want to join the Peace Corps.”
“That’s one of my dreams, but I doubt I’ll ever realize it.”
Hawk had to take a deep breath or choke on his surprise. A princess in the Peace Corps? He didn’t think so. “If you can’t have a dream, find a practical replacement.” Like donating money to worthy causes. That was something a princess could do without causing a political incident.
Lina stopped walking and stared out over the lake, her expression thoughtful. Hawk stopped, too…but he watched his princess. Her golden skin glowing in the sunlight, her perfect features shone with a beauty that took his breath away. Of its own volition, his hand reached out and brushed her hair away from her face.
She shifted slightly so their eyes met, her velvet-brown irises drawing him in, her smile tempting him to taste her lips. Her head tilted; his dipped until their lips barely brushed. Electricity jolted through him at the contact, freezing time around them. Neither moved. They did not deepen the kiss, but nor did they move apart. Both stood in a paralysis of feeling he knew he had never experienced and suspected she had not, either.
They were only linked physically in two places—his lips barely touching hers and his hand still against her cheek—but he felt the connection in a place deep inside that he had not even known existed.
“Hey, you two.” Bob’s voice brought Hawk abruptly to his senses.
Yanking his hand away from her cheek, Hawk stepped away from Lina.
What the hell was he doing? He hadn’t even heard Bob’s approach. This was totally out of line. He would fire an operative for being so sloppy. If Bob had been a threat, Lina could be dead right now. Cold chills chased along his skin.
He was here to protect Lina, not make love to her. Or moon over her like some lovesick calf. He was not the mooning type.
Maybe he needed a vacation. One filled with discreet liaisons that would rid his mind of his…the princess’s image.
One thing he knew with certainty. The idealistic pocket-size Venus was turning out to be a weakness he could not afford, “Hi, Bob.” Lina’s voice was softer than normal and her eyes were unfocused.
Hawk had to suppress a groan. This thing was getting totally out of hand. It already was, a taunting voice whispered inside his head. Bob gave them both a knowing look. “This is supposed to be a sports trip, not a romantic getaway.”
Sebastian glared at Bob. As if jock-boy wouldn’t take advantage if he got the chance. And he’d have a hell of a lot less scruples about it than Sebastian did.
Lina looked away, her cheeks going an adorable pink.
“Was there something you wanted, Bob?” Hawk asked. Trying to forget that the word adorable was not usually part of his vocabulary and that he had applied it to a client.
“Just thought I’d check the lake out. We’ll start out on the smooth water tomorrow morning. Assess everyone’s skill level, then move to the river after lunch tomorrow.” He gave Hawk a significant look. “That is provided we’re all ready to move to the river.”
Hawk was about to assure the other man that he would be ready when Lina spoke up. “If Sebastian isn’t comfortable enough for moving water, I’ll stay on the lake with him in the afternoon.”
And just like that, Hawk’s plans for proving his proficiency changed. “If you’re sure you won’t mind,” he said.
Bob frowned. “That’s hardly fair to you, babe. I’m sure one of the other experienced kayakers would be willing to stay with him.”
Hawk noticed Bob didn’t volunteer.
Lina’s features set in what was becoming a familiar look of stubbornness. “Don’t be silly. I invited Sebastian to come on the trip. I promised him I would teach him and I will.”
Which was exactly what she did. Hawk’s previous experience canoeing made learning the balance and movement of the kayak easier, but Lina was also a good teacher and could take most of the credit for his proficiency by afternoon. He was careful to dump into the water a couple of times though to lend credence to his request to stay on the lake for the rest of the day.
They all ate lunch together in the biggest cabin. Lina was animated and grinning most of the time, praising him for his efforts and complimenting the others on their techniques. She and her roommate got into a discussion of what their most challenging kayaking course had been. And that’s when he learned that Lina had come very near to drowning once, sending a sick feeling through him.
Her senior year of high school, while on a very difficult race course, another kayaker had dumped. She’d bumped her head and hadn’t come up. Lina dove into the white water to save her. Both girls had come close to drowning, but Lina had managed to get them to shore.
Hawk experienced an unexpected, unfamiliar, and not to mention totally irrational fear as Lina recounted her story. That fear did not dissipate when Lina looked on with wide-eyed wonder and no small amount of interest when her G.I. Jane roommate recounted shooting the rapids on the Yangtze River. Damn…if Lina’s family didn’t do something soon, she was going to get herself killed in her search for adventure.
She needed a husband to watch over her.
Heaven knew her father, uncle and their hired security weren’t doing a good enough job. Unreasoning black anger washed over Hawk at the thought of a protective male in Lina’s life that was not him. He dismissed the image of Lina in some faceless man’s arms with a vicious precision he refused to analyze.
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