In The King's Service

“Dear Father in Heaven,” she prayed, “let it be a fine day tomorrow, so that I may ride out. Let me leave the castle for a little while.”

Her voice turned grim. “If I can’t, grant me the grace to guard my tongue and not say hateful things I regret the moment they leave my lips. Help me not to be jealous of Laelia, Father. She can’t help it if she is beautiful and I’m not. Help me to overcome my anger and bitterness because I can’t hope to have a suitor like…”

She drew a deep breath and her knuckles whitened. “To have any man want me,” she corrected. “I don’t want to make people hate me but to have yet another knight ride up to our gate seeking Laelia and to know that it will never be thus for me is getting so hard to bear!” Her voice began to rise again with her rancor. “And when such a man smiles so, and has a voice that makes me feel like I’m wrapped in a velvet cloak and cradled in his arms… When the merest touch of his lips to my hand heats my blood near to boiling—”

Her breath caught and, ashamed, she bowed her head. “Oh, God, take away these lustful thoughts and feelings! Please, God, let me accept my fate and be quiet.”

In the silence following her fervent plea, she heard the chapel door creak open. Then the dull thud as it closed.

Startled, she tried to stand quickly despite her twisted and shortened leg, which had not healed properly and never would. A spasm of pain racked her at the sudden motion, but she pressed her lips together to make no sound as she cautiously continued to rise. Turning, she swiftly searched the small building.

A man stood silhouetted against the window to her left. There could be no mistaking who it was; no one else in Throckton Castle wore his hair to his shoulders.

Was this God’s idea of a joke, to send her the very man who roused such lust and remorse and bitter jealousy in her while she was at prayer?

It crossed her mind to flee, but her pride simply wouldn’t permit her to hobble from the chapel like a crippled coward. “What do you want, Sir Blaidd?” she demanded, her voice loud in the quiet.

“How did you know who it was?” he inquired as he walked toward her.

She squared her shoulders. “Your hair is very distinctive, in a savage sort of way. And everyone who has ever stayed here and attended chapel knows how that door creaks, and would take care to prevent it if they wanted to enter in secret.”

He came to a halt a few feet away. “I have no need to be secretive. I was looking for my squire and saw you slip in here. I thought it might be a good time to apologize for any offense I’ve caused you.”

He sounded absolutely, completely sincere. Yet he didn’t have to apologize at all, and she couldn’t think of any other knight who’d stoop to express regret to anyone, let alone her.

“You didn’t know I was crippled,” she said. She decided she could be a little magnanimous, too. “I’m sorry if I upset a guest in my father’s house. In hindsight, it wasn’t the behavior of a lady.”

“What say we begin anew, my lady?”

She made her away around the simple wooden altar that bore a carved wooden crucifix until it was between them, like a defensive wall. “Very well, Sir Blaidd, I agree. We’ll forget my insolence at the gate and your request to dance, and begin again.”

“Excellent!”

He sounded as if he was truly pleased, which would mean he would have been disappointed if she’d refused. That was unexpected. And rather delightful.

Perhaps she was making too much of his apology and enthusiastic tone. Maybe he simply wanted to avoid conflict of any kind while he was a guest of her father’s, which would be wise. “Now that we’ve come to an understanding, Sir Blaidd, you should leave. It isn’t seemly for us to be here alone together.”

“I suppose not. But first, will you answer one question?”

She didn’t see any harm in that, since she could always refuse when she heard what it was. She nodded in agreement.

“Do you play the gatekeeper often, or was that a special welcome?”

“No, not often.” She wasn’t going to admit that she’d watched the knight and his squire riding up to the gatehouse through a loophole after the sentry called out that someone was approaching. She wouldn’t confess that she’d turned to Dobbin and wryly said, “Here comes another one. Let me see if he’s as arrogant as the rest.”

Dobbin had started to protest, but she’d given him a devilish grin and he’d thrown up his hands in surrender.

Sir Blaidd bowed. “Then I’m honored I had at least that much to single me out from the vast horde who’ve come to see your sister.”

“Yes, sir knight, you’re one of many.”

“So you wanted to confront me and take my measure first, before your younger sister. I hope I passed muster, for no doubt your opinion means a great deal to Lady Laelia.”

Becca crossed her arms. “I’m not the eldest. Laelia is.”

“Forgive me,” he said, obviously taken aback. “She seems less…mature.”

Becca didn’t know if she should take that as a compliment or not.

“That explains the necessity of getting her married, though, so that you’ll be free to accept offers for your own hand.”

She stared at him, dumbfounded. Nobody had ever suggested that she hadn’t married because of Laelia’s spinster state. “There have never been any offers for my hand.”

“What, not a one?”

He sounded genuinely shocked.

She struggled to regain her usual self-possession and changed the subject. “You said you were looking for your squire.”

“Yes. I want to make sure he’s not getting into any mischief.”

An honest answer. “Are you expecting him to?”

“I’m hoping he’s got more sense, but he’s young and high-spirited, and this is his first time away from the care of his parents or older brothers—his first taste of freedom, so to speak. Like many young men in such circumstances, he may be tempted to act without considering all the consequences.”

“He’s not likely to steal anything, is he?”

“Oh, no, he’d never do that.”

“Then what…?” She fell silent as she considered the comely youth in the hall who’d been talking to the young and pretty Meg.

Becca bit back a curse and started toward the door. “You’re right to be concerned, Sir Blaidd, for if there’s the slightest implication he’s been bothering any of the female servants, I’ll ask my father to order you both to leave at once. I’ve seen the trouble a handsome young nobleman can cause—”

Sir Blaidd put his hand on her arm to halt her, his grip warm and strong and irresistible. “I don’t think you need be overly upset. Trev’s a good lad, and when I find him I’ll give him a stern warning about—”

“What, you’ll order him not to seduce the maidservants?” she demanded skeptically.

“That’s exactly what I mean,” he said firmly.

She could well believe that would be enough to nip any such behavior in the bud. Nevertheless, the servants here were her responsibility and she would ensure they weren’t taken advantage of. “Be that as it may, that doesn’t mean he’ll obey your warning. He’s young and so’s Meg, and neither one of them may consider the consequences,” Becca said as she yanked open the door.

She was about to step into the courtyard when she saw Meg exit the kitchen. Alone.

Hopeful that the maid had enough sense to ignore whatever honeyed flattery a handsome young squire offered, Becca drew back into the chapel and peered out the door. As she watched Meg continue toward the maidservants’ quarters, Sir Blaidd came to stand behind her. Close behind her. His powerfully masculine body couldn’t be more than a few inches away from hers.

“What is it?” he whispered, his hot breath stirring the wisps of hair on the back of her neck.

“There’s Meg,” Becca murmured, nodding toward the girl and trying to ignore the unfamiliar sensation of having a virile male so near her—and failing utterly.

Without so much as a backward glance, Meg hurried up the outer steps toward the maidservants’ quarters and disappeared inside.

Sir Blaidd’s sigh of relief echoed Becca’s feeling and seemed to come all the way up from his toes. “That’s the one he was talking to, I’m sure of it. He’s probably gone to bed already. It was a long day’s ride.”

The words had no sooner left Sir Blaidd’s lips than the same door opened and his squire stepped into the courtyard. He hesitated, obviously looking for something.

Or someone.

The lad surveyed the courtyard for a few more moments, then, his shoulders slumped with disappointment, turned on his heel and went back into the kitchen.

Sir Blaidd muttered something that sounded like a Welsh curse. “I’ll certainly be speaking to Trev about how I expect him to behave while we’re your father’s guests.”

“Good,” Becca said, closing the door and facing him.

“I give you my word as a knight of the realm that I’ll tell Trevelyan that if he doesn’t conduct himself honorably, I’ll send him home to his father in disgrace.”

“That may not seem like much of a punishment to a boy that age,” she noted.

“You don’t know his father. Have you heard of Sir Urien Fitzroy?”

“Doesn’t he train men in the arts of war?”

“Yes, he does. He trained me, and believe me, my lady, if he thinks his son has behaved unchivalrously, the punishment will be severe.”

Becca suddenly regretted getting so annoyed. “I hope it doesn’t come to that, and your warning will be enough. I’ll speak to Meg, too.” She hesitated, then decided to explain her reaction. She didn’t want him to think she was completely hotheaded, about everything. “We had a serving girl here a few years ago, Sir Blaidd, named Hester. She was as pretty as Meg, and just as coquettish—well, perhaps a little more brazen than Meg.

“A young knight arrived, supposedly to court Laelia. One day, he left without so much as a farewell. At first we thought it was because my father hadn’t seemed inclined to consider his suit. A few weeks later, though, we discovered that Hester was carrying his child. He’d made all sorts of extravagant promises to the poor girl. He’d even said he’d marry her. We’d seen enough of the man to guess that he would have said whatever it took to get Hester into his bed. But Hester wouldn’t give up hope that he’d return, so I asked my father to send a messenger to the knight to tell him about the baby. I tried to believe he’d at least send her a word, some money, something, but the lout’s response was that he should be thanked for ‘breaking her in’ and teaching her how to please a man.”

Becca shivered with revulsion. “That man’s callousness destroyed Hester.” She sighed, saddened as always when she recalled those terrible days. “If her baby had lived, things might have been different, but she lost it, and with it, every gentle part of her.”

Becca looked away, unable to meet Sir Blaidd’s concerned, steadfast gaze. “She’s a whore now, in the village. I see her sometimes, and when I do, it breaks my heart.” She raised her eyes, defiant and commanding once more. “I won’t have that happen to Meg.”

Sir Blaidd caressed her chin with his strong, callused palm. “I see it isn’t only your sister and the gates of this castle that you guard, my lady,” he said softly. “I trust your care is appreciated.”

She moved back, away from him and his touch and his deep, sympathetic voice. “Of course it is.”

“I give you my most solemn vow that I will ensure that Trevelyan doesn’t do anything so disgraceful.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, her breathing fast and shallow as she told herself she should get away from the knight.

He reached out and put his hands lightly on her shoulders. She opened her mouth to tell him to let go, but the words wouldn’t come. No one had ever touched her like this, as if she was fragile and precious.

She didn’t make a sound as he pulled her close. She not only couldn’t find the voice to protest, she couldn’t find the will. She slid her arms around his waist, silently agreeing to what was coming.

So he kissed her. His lips brushed hers, a gentle, tentative whisper of soft flesh to soft flesh. Her embrace tightening, she leaned into him, permitting him to kiss her more deeply, as she was kissing him.

Oh, how wondrous, after all these years in Laelia’s shadow, to think a man might desire her! He made her believe that she was a normal woman, and an attractive one at that. She felt whole and unbroken and wanted. His desire inflamed her own until she couldn’t think.

His hand meandered down her back, cupping her buttocks and pressing her close to him, while the other held her steady. She needed that support, for her body softened and throbbed with yearning as she ran her hands over his shoulders and back, feeling the taut muscles through his tunic.

His body. His strength. His desire, matching her own.

A call rang out, signaling the changing of the watch. Reminding her of where she was, and who she was. Becca wasn’t the beautiful Laelia; she was plain, crippled Rebecca, and this handsome, seductive man was here to court her sister.

So why was he kissing her? What did he hope to accomplish? Seduction? Power? Control? She would let no man use her for his own purpose, whatever that might be.

She shoved him back. “Is this your idea of honorable conduct, sir knight?” she demanded. “Do you think that because I’m crippled and homely I must be desperate and so easily, willingly, seduced?”

“God’s wounds, no!” he said as he regained his balance. “I swear to you, my lady—”

“Swear all you want, but kissing me seems an odd way to woo Laelia. Or am I a means to practice your technique?”

Sir Blaidd stiffened, his back as rigid as a lance. “I had no intention of kissing you when I came here, and I’m not in the habit of seducing my host’s daughters, however tempting they may be.”

“Then what was that kiss about?”

“If you don’t know, then it was a stupid mistake, and one I won’t make again,” he retorted, his deep voice fiercely angry.

Good. Angry men she was used to and could handle. Men who tried to seduce her, however… “I wouldn’t try seducing Laelia, either,” she warned. “First, I’m onto your game. Second, Laelia may look and sound a bit dim, but I assure you, when it comes to men and their tricks, she’s seen them all.”

Sir Blaidd sidled closer, seeming taller, more menacing, every inch the fierce warrior and champion of tournaments. “If it’s impossible for me to seduce either of you—supposing that was my despicable plan—then your warnings are quite unnecessary, aren’t they? And I must say that kiss was rather amazing for a modest young maiden of limited experience, which leads me to wonder what exactly you were doing here at this time of night. You don’t strike me as devout, so a sudden urge to pray seems unlikely.” He ran a haughty, impertinent gaze over her body. “Did I interrupt something? Were you waiting for somebody else?”

“How dare you suggest such a thing!”

“How dare you suggest that my motives are dishonorable?”

“You kissed me!”

“You kissed me back!”

“I had no choice.”

“Of course you did. You could have stopped me at any time. But you didn’t, and what’s more, you enjoyed it.”

“Oh, you are an expert on women’s feelings, are you?”

“Expert or not, I know when a woman’s desire matches or exceeds my own.”

“Exceeds? Of all the arrogant, pompous, self-righteous—”

“Yes, you certainly are.”

“You…you base, loathsome blackguard!” she cried, wrenching open the door, determined to get away from him. “Don’t you ever come near me again!”

She limped off into the night.

“Trust me, I won’t!” Blaidd muttered as the chapel door creaked to a close.

Every Welsh curse he knew tumbled out of his mouth in a low rumble of frustration and anger. How dare she call his honor into question? Granted, kissing her had been a little…well, a lot…

Well, he shouldn’t have.

He let out his breath slowly. God save him, he’d been an idiot. An idiot totally overwhelmed with desire. An idiot so overwhelmed with desire that he’d forgotten that he was here because King Henry himself had sent him to verify if Lord Throckton was plotting treason or not.

He wouldn’t be able to do that if Lord Throckton sent him packing the day after he’d arrived because he’d presumed to kiss the man’s daughter. He should have been able to control himself, no matter what the circumstances or how tempting the lady. After all, he was no youth anxious to experience love, like Trevelyan.

“Fool,” Blaidd mumbled under his breath as he left the chapel and headed toward the apartments.

He reached the chamber he and Trev were sharing and cautiously opened the door, which didn’t squeak like the one in the chapel. He quietly crept into the comfortable room with its two beds. A brazier stood nearby, along with a chest for their baggage, and a small table bearing a ewer and basin for washing. There were no tapestries or carpet, or even a stool to sit on, but Blaidd had slept in worse places.

Someone was in one of the beds—Trev, to judge by the tousled hair. Blaidd hoped the lad had already fallen asleep, thereby sparing him the need to explain anything.

Trev was not asleep. He sat up abruptly and said, “Where have you been? I was starting to get worried.”

“I was looking for you,” Blaidd truthfully replied.

Trev hugged his knees and regarded him quizzically. “I’ve been right here for a long time.”

Blaidd sat on the end of his bed. He might as well make a point, and incidentally turn the conversation away from his own whereabouts. “And before that, you were looking for that maidservant, Meg.”

Trev blushed. “How do you know?” Then his eyes widened. “Were you spying on me?”

Blaidd was in no mood for more indignation, especially from a stripling youth. “I happened to see you looking for her in the courtyard, as anybody could have.”

“How did you know I was looking for her? Maybe I was searching for you.”

“I saw her leave the kitchen, and you came hot on her heels. If you were looking for me, I don’t think you would have been so disappointed when you didn’t find me.”

Trev stared at his toes and shrugged his shoulders. “All right. I wasn’t looking for you.”

“She’s a servant, Trev,” Blaidd said not unkindly. “You’re a young nobleman who’s a guest in her master’s household. She wouldn’t want to risk offending you.”

He saw dismay flash in Trev’s eyes, and took pity on the boy. “Look, Trev, I’m not saying that’s the only reason she talked to you. It could be she really likes you. But you’re not equals. You have power and rank, and she has none. And we are guests here. It would be an abuse of your host’s hospitality to dally with his maidservants.”

“What if a woman…you know…what if she’s interested?”

Blaidd recalled what his father had said to him about such situations. “With such things come responsibilities, provided the man is honorable and not some lustful lout. What if the woman got with child?”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. Have you enough silver to give her a tidy sum to raise it? Would you be ready for a young man to show up at your gate one day claiming to be your son? Would you be willing to acknowledge a bastard?”

“I hadn’t thought of all that.”

“No, I didn’t think you had.”

“But with a whore, there wouldn’t be—”

“You’re not going to go with any whore while you’re my squire. Do you understand me?”

Blaidd didn’t often use that tone of command, but when he did, it always got results, and this time was no different. Trev swallowed hard and nodded.

A twinge of guilt assailed Blaidd. He’d hardly acted as an honorable knight himself tonight. And given the possible repercussions, it might be wise to prepare Trevelyan for a likely departure, as well as give him as much of an explanation as necessary. “We might have to leave tomorrow.”

Trev’s mouth fell open. “Why? Because I was looking for Meg?”

“No. Because I quarreled with Lady Rebecca.”

A devilish gleam lit Trev’s eyes. “After all your warnings and admonitions to me about the proper behavior of a guest?”

Blaidd bent down and pulled off his boots. “Yes.” He glanced up. “And no, you don’t have to gloat. I know that was a stupid thing to do.”

Trev didn’t gloat. “She seems a very quarrelsome woman,” he said comfortingly, “and it didn’t look to me as if her father or sister like that about her. Perhaps they’ll take your side.” He grinned. “Especially Lady Laelia.”

Blaidd hadn’t expected to find solace in the observations of a youth, but he did. “Well, we’ll find out come the morning,” he said as he rose to finish disrobing. “Go to sleep, Trev.” He gave the lad a wry smile. “We may have a long journey tomorrow.”

Trev made a face. “I hope not. I don’t want to go home yet. I’ve had enough training.”

“A knight can never have enough.”

“You say that only because you don’t have to do it anymore,” the lad said as he snuggled beneath the covers.

When Trev’s eyes closed, the rueful smile left Blaidd’s face. If they did have to leave in the morning, how was he going to explain his failure to the king?

Chapter Four

In their bedchamber the next morning, it was obvious that Laelia was in a foul mood. Becca had long ago learned that the best way to dissipate a conflict with her sister was to keep quiet until Laelia deigned to speak. It went against the grain, but she stayed silent while Meg helped Laelia put on a beautiful gown of emerald-green velvet trimmed with golden bands of embroidery, and a gilded girdle about her slender hips. Laelia then sat on a stool before her dressing table, which was covered with little pots of perfumes and unguents, a silver-handled brush and a small cedar box holding ribbons to adorn her hair. Another wooden box, inlaid with ebony, held her jewelry.

Becca had no ribbons or baubles, and her jewelry, worn much less frequently, was in the bottom of her embossed chest on the other side of her bed. Laelia’s bed was made up with fine linen sheets, a thick feather bed and large pillows, and curtains of scarlet damask kept out the chill night air. Becca’s bed was just as sumptuous. She didn’t feel the need to dress richly, but she wasn’t about to turn up her nose at being warm and comfortable.

When they were children, she and Laelia had shared the bed that was now hers alone. They’d had many a whispered conversation together after the curtain had closed, punctuated with giggles. That had changed when Becca fell from the tree. Laelia couldn’t share her bed for some weeks after that, and her father had purchased a new one for her.

Becca could easily guess why Laelia was upset this morning. She was furious that Becca had stormed out of the hall—well, stormed out as dramatically as a woman who limped could—coupled with her greeting of Sir Blaidd at the gate. Laelia had heard about that meeting before the evening meal, and her verbal jousting with Sir Blaidd in the hall would have raised her ire even more. Fortunately, Laelia had been asleep when Becca had returned from the chapel, or at least she’d pretended to be, sparing a quarrel last night, but letting her annoyance fester all the more, probably even as she slept.

Becca had been tempted to wake her sister and tell her that Sir Blaidd had kissed her, to warn Laelia that the man was up to no good. Becca had considered speaking to her father in the morning, too, and telling him to send Sir Blaidd away. Surely he shouldn’t be courting Laelia.

But now, in the light of day, and considering how rarely her father ever paid heed to her concerns, she decided that the less said about what had happened last night, the better. There was no reason yet to believe that Sir Blaidd would be deemed any more worthy of Laelia’s hand than any of the other myriad suitors who had come to Throckton Castle.

She hadn’t exactly been a model of ladylike behavior herself. She should have left the chapel the moment Sir Blaidd arrived. Regardless of his manner and his voice and his apology, she should have fled.