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‘Yes. You’ve done a good job,’ Mrs Parker said grudgingly. She stood up and put her stockings back on with Jenna’s help. Then she reached for her bag. ‘That dressing feels very comfortable, actually. But tell Evanna I’m sorry to have missed her.’
‘I’ll do that.’
Jenna watched as Mrs Parker walked slowly down the corridor, and then returned to the computer to type up the notes, sinking into the chair, exhausted. This was a huge mistake. She should have just bought a new flat in London, then she could have stayed in her job and Lexi could have stayed in her school.
Instead she’d chosen a small island where strangers were viewed with suspicion and where her life was going to be lived under a microscope.
She was an idiot.
Forcing herself to take several deep breaths, Jenna reminded herself that it was natural for the islanders to be wary of a new nurse. She just had to earn their trust.
Or maybe she should just buy another ferry ticket and get off this island as fast as possible. She sank her head into her hands, and then sat up quickly as she heard a rap on the door.
Ryan walked in. ‘I owe you an apology. I had no idea Mrs Parker was your first patient. Talk about baptism of fire.’
Somewhere between meeting her on the quay and starting his surgery he’d shaved and changed. The faded jeans had been replaced by smart trousers and the comfortable tee shirt by a tailored shirt. In the confines of her consulting room he seemed taller. And broader. Suddenly she had no trouble imagining him as a high-powered consultant in a busy emergency department.
Her throat suddenly felt dry. ‘Yes, she was my first patient.’
‘You’re still alive?’
Oh, yes. She knew she was alive because she could feel her heart banging hard against her chest. ‘We did OK.’
‘But now you want to resign?’ His voice was dry. ‘You’re about to buy a return ferry ticket and run back to London?’
Jenna sat rigid, terrified that he’d guessed how bad she felt. ‘No.’ Her voice was bright. ‘I’m not even remotely tempted to run away.’
His smile faded and his gaze sharpened. ‘I was joking.’
‘Oh.’ She turned scarlet. ‘Of course you were joking. Sorry. I’m a bit tired after the journey.’
‘The last nurse we appointed lasted three days. Didn’t Evanna tell you?’
‘She did mention something. Don’t worry, Dr McKinley. I’m not a quitter.’ Jenna said it firmly, reminding herself of that fact. ‘And Mrs Parker was fine.’
‘I know Mrs Parker, so you must be lying.’
Yes, she was and it seemed that these days she spent her life lying. Even her smile was a lie. ‘Mrs Parker was wary at seeing someone new, and that’s normal—especially at her age. She doesn’t like change. I understand that.’ Jenna concentrated on the computer, thinking that she was finding change terrifying and she was several decades younger than Mrs Parker.
‘That leg of hers is slow to heal.’
Jenna thought about the old lady—remembered how much had been said in a short time. ‘I don’t know her, but at a guess I’d say she doesn’t really want it to heal. She’s lonely. Her leg gives her a reason to come up here and interact with people.’
‘That’s possible.’ His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. ‘Despite your college-girl looks, you’re obviously very sharp.’
Accustomed to thinking of herself as ‘past it’, his compliment made her feel strange. Or maybe it hadn’t been a compliment. ‘I’m interested in people. I like looking for the reasons they do things. It’s why I do the job.’ Even as she said the words she realised the flaw in that theory. If she was so interested in why people did what they did, why hadn’t she spotted the signs that her husband was cheating on her? Maybe she wasn’t so observant after all. Or maybe she hadn’t wanted to see what was under her nose.
Feeling the tension erupt inside her, Jenna hit a button on the computer and exited Mrs Parker’s file, wishing she could control her thinking. She had to stop asking ‘what if?’ She had to move on. That was what she was doing here, wasn’t it? She was wiping out the past. ‘Why do you do the job, Dr McKinley?’ Would he tell her that he was an emergency specialist in hiding?
He was leaning against the wall, his broad shoulders threatening the safety of the asthma poster stuck to the wall. ‘At the moment I can’t remember. You’d better ask me that question again when I haven’t been up for half the night doing calls. I’m always in a snarly mood when I get less than three hours’ sleep.’
‘That’s understandable. Could you sneak off and sleep at some point today?’
‘Unfortunately, no. Like I said to you on the quay—it’s just the four of us. When we’re busy, we’re busy. We can’t hand it over.’
‘Who called you out last night? Locals or tourists?’
‘One tourist with chest pains, a toddler with a febrile convulsion, and one of our own with a very nasty asthma attack.’ He frowned. ‘I called the mother a few moments ago to check on her and she told me the child is still asleep, but I’m going to call in later. I didn’t like the look of her in the night. I gather you have an interest in asthma?’
‘Yes. I ran a clinic in London.’ Jenna was interested. ‘Was there an obvious trigger? Did she have an infection or something?’
‘They’d got themselves a dog from the rescue centre. I’m assuming it was that.’
‘They didn’t know that animal fur was a trigger?’ Jenna pulled a face, understanding the ramifications of that statement. ‘So is the dog being returned?’
‘It’s a strong possibility. They’re thinking about it, but obviously the child will be upset.’
‘It would be wonderful to have a dog,’ Jenna said wistfully, and then sat up straight, slightly shocked by herself. A dog? Where had that thought come from? Why on earth would she want a dog?
‘Maybe you could give this one a home?’
Jenna automatically shook her head. ‘We can’t have a dog. Cl—’ She was about to say that Clive hated animals, but then she remembered that she wasn’t married to Clive any more. His opinion didn’t matter.
Glancing down at her left hand, she stared at the pale line on her finger that was the only remaining evidence that she’d once worn a ring. It still felt strange, seeing the finger bare. And it still brought a sting to the back of her throat.
‘Something wrong?’ His question made her jump.
‘No. I was just thinking about your little asthma patient and the dog.’
‘Right.’ His gaze locked onto hers and she looked away quickly, thinking that Ryan McKinley was nothing like the men she usually met during her working day. For a start he was about two decades younger than the GPs she’d worked with in her last practice. She tried to imagine any of them extracting a seriously injured girl from the wreck of a car during a storm without the help of paramedics—and failed. Ryan McKinley was a different breed of doctor. And then there was the fact that he was indecently good-looking. Sexy.
A different breed of man.
‘You look really stressed out.’ Ryan spoke quietly. ‘Is that Mrs Parker’s doing? Or is it being thrown in at the deep end?’
‘No! Not at all.’ Oh, God, he’d noticed that she was stressed. And the one thing she absolutely couldn’t afford to do was put a foot wrong in this job. ‘I love being thrown in at the deep end. Anyway, I didn’t ask why you were here. Did you want to talk to me? Is there something I can help you with, Dr McKinley?’ Please don’t let him say he’d changed his mind about hiring her.
‘I wondered if you could take some bloods for me.’ Ryan handed her a form, his eyes still on her face. ‘Callum is fifteen and he’s showing all the signs of glandular fever. I know you already have a full clinic, but I really need these results as soon as possible.’
‘Of course you do.’ As she took the form from him, Jenna’s fingers brushed against his. She immediately snatched her hand away, feeling as though she’d touched a live wire. ‘I’ll do them straight away.’ Without thinking, she rubbed her fingers, wondering whether she was doomed to overreact around this man.
‘He’s in the waiting room with his mum.’ Ryan was looking at her fingers, and Jenna swallowed and dropped her hands into her lap.
‘Fine. Great. I’ll call him.’
‘I appreciate it.’ There was a tension about him that hadn’t been there before. ‘Your bikes have been delivered, by the way. I had them taken straight to the cottage. They’ll be safe enough outside your front door.’
‘Bikes?’ Jenna had to force herself to concentrate. ‘Bikes. Yes, of course. Evanna told me about this place that hires them for the summer, so I rang them. I thought it would be good for both of us to cycle.’
‘I’m impressed. It’s a good example to set to the patients.’
‘So you’ll try not to knock me off my bike when you’re accelerating past in your Porsche?’
He gave a faint smile as he strolled towards the door. ‘Are you accusing me of speeding or being a couch potato?’
‘Neither. I’m sure you’re very fit.’ Her eyes slid to the hard muscle of his shoulders, clearly outlined by the smooth fabric of his casual shirt. Damn, she shouldn’t have used the word fit. Wasn’t that the word Lexi used when she found a boy attractive? ‘I mean, you’re obviously athletic—I mean, health-conscious—sorry, just ignore me…’ Jenna had the distinct impression that he was laughing at her, but when she looked at him his expression was unreadable.
‘Why would I want to ignore you?’
‘Because I’m talking nonsense—’ And he was super-cool, hyper-intelligent and nothing like the men she usually dealt with. She had no trouble believing Mrs Parker’s assertion that he was a top doctor. He had an air of authority and command that she found mildly intimidating. ‘The bikes will be great.’
‘Does Lexi know you’ve ordered bikes?’
‘Not yet.’ She didn’t know which impressed her more, the fact that he’d remembered her daughter’s name or his uncannily accurate assessment of her character. ‘Light the touch paper and stand well back. Which reminds me; I owe you an apology for her behaviour earlier.’
‘What do you have to apologise for?’
‘Lexi. She—’ Jenna didn’t want to reveal personal details, but she was unable to bear the thought he might think badly of her daughter. ‘She’s very mixed up at the moment. She didn’t want to move from our home in London. It’s been hard on her.’
He was silent for a moment, considering her words. She had a nasty feeling that he knew just how close to the edge she was. ‘Glenmore has a very calming effect on people. It’s a good place to escape.’
‘Lexi didn’t want to leave London.’
‘Perhaps your needs are greater than hers at the moment,’ he said gently. ‘Does Lexi know you’re living in a cottage on the beach?’
‘No. There’s only so much bad news that she can take at one time. She’s going to hate me for not renting a house in the village.’
‘That’s not exactly a hub for entertainment, either.’ He opened the door. ‘When you’ve finished your clinic, knock on my door. I’ll take you and your luggage over there.’
‘I don’t expect you to do that. If you have any spare time, you need to sleep.’
‘I’ll give you a lift.’ He hesitated, his hand on the door. ‘Give it a few weeks before you buy that ferry ticket. I predict that in no time this place will feel like home.’
He knew.
He knew how bad she felt. She’d done a lousy job at hiding her feelings. He knew she was panicking and having second thoughts.
Horrified that he was clearly aware of how close she was to breaking, Jenna just sat there, not trusting herself to speak. Their eyes held, and then he gave a brief nod.
‘Welcome to Glenmore, Jenna. We’re very pleased to have you here.’
Ryan stood in front of his colleague, legs spread, hands dug in his back pockets. ‘Tell me about Jenna.’
‘Jenna?’ Logan McNeil signed a prescription and glanced up, his expression interested. ‘Why? Was it love at first sight? Your eyes met across a crowded ferry ramp?’
Remembering the flash of chemistry, Ryan rolled his shoulders to ease the tension. ‘Just give me the facts, Logan.’
Logan put his pen down. ‘She’s been working as a practice nurse in England for the past six years, but I’m not holding that against her. Why are you asking? Has she killed a patient or something?’
‘I’m worried about her.’
‘Isn’t that a little premature? She’s been here for five minutes.’
And he’d been worried about her within thirty seconds of meeting her. She’d looked fragile and battered, as though she’d emerged from a terrible storm. ‘Evanna asked me to meet her, remember? She looks as though she’s holding it together by a thread.’
Suddenly Logan wasn’t smiling. ‘You’re worried about her ability to do the job?’
‘No. She handled Mrs Parker, which proves she’s more than capable of doing the job. I’m worried about her!’ Ryan shot him an impatient look. ‘What do you know about her personal circumstances?’
With a sigh, Logan opened his drawer and pulled out a file. Scanning the papers, he paused. ‘Divorced with a teenage daughter. That’s all it says.’
Divorced.
Ryan prowled to the window of Logan’s consulting room and stared across the fields. Remembering the white circle on her ring finger, he was willing to bet the divorce was recent. Was that why she was so pale and drawn? Divorce did that to people, didn’t it? Was that why she jumped when a man touched her? ‘Was her ex-husband abusive?’
‘I have absolutely no idea. This is her CV, not a police statement. Are you sure you’re not going a little over the top here? You seem very concerned about someone you only met a few hours ago.’
Ryan turned. ‘She’s a colleague,’ he said evenly. ‘It’s in our interest to make sure she’s happy here.’
‘And that’s all that’s going on here?’ Logan closed the file. ‘You seem very interested in her.’
‘I didn’t say I was interested. I said it was in our interest to make sure she’s happy.’
‘Good. Then I’ll leave it to you to make sure she is.’ Logan pushed the file back in the drawer. ‘Plenty of people get divorced, Ryan. It’s a fact of life in our society. It doesn’t mean she has problems. You could be barking up the wrong tree. Has she seen the cottage yet?’
‘I’m taking her at the end of morning surgery.’
‘Let’s just hope she likes isolation, otherwise we’ll be looking for a new practice nurse. Ted Walker has a flat vacant in the village if you think that would be better.’
‘I know she’s going to like the cottage.’ He didn’t know how he knew, but he did.
She was running—wounded—looking for a place to hide and recover.
And the cottage was the perfect place for her. Whether her teenager daughter would survive the isolation was another matter.
Chapter Three
IT WAS the prettiest house she’d ever seen—one of four fishermen’s cottages facing the sea, their front gardens leading straight down to a sandy beach.
The iron gate was rusty and creaked as she pushed it open, but Jenna felt a sudden feeling of calm and contentment. No more endless traffic jams and road rage. No more rush hour. No more litter on the streets and graffiti on the walls.
Just open space, fresh air, and the sound of the sea.
It was perfect.
Lexi gave a whimper of horror. ‘This is it? It’s the smallest house I’ve ever seen.’
Jenna felt the tension return to her stomach. ‘Small, yes, but it’s ours.’As long as she kept the job. The house came with the job. They had a home again. And it would be cheap to run.
Lexi was gaping at the tiny cottage. ‘A whole summer here?’
‘Yes.’
‘You can’t swing a cat.’
‘We don’t have a cat.’ But they might have a dog. She’d been thinking about it ever since Ryan McKinley had mentioned the idea.
Lexi closed her eyes. ‘Just kill me now,’ she muttered, and Jenna searched for something to say that would cheer her up.
‘Don’t you think this is better than London?’
‘Tell me that isn’t a serious question—’
Jenna sighed. They’d come this far. They had to keep moving forward.
She walked up the path to the front door, her eyes scanning the pretty garden. She noticed a few weeds and her hands itched. It would be fun, she mused, to have a proper garden.
Lexi stared desperately at the house and then at the beach. ‘Where’s the nearest shop?’
‘Walk straight down the road and you reach the harbour. If it’s low tide you can walk along the beach.’ Ryan strode up the path behind them, carrying both suitcases. He deposited them on the ground, gently removed the key from Jenna’s hand and opened the door of the cottage.
‘Sorry—I was miles away.’ Jenna gave a smile of apology. ‘It’s so long since I had a garden. Our house in London just had a courtyard. I’m not used to so much outdoor space.’ Enchanted, she stooped and touched some of the pretty pink flowers that clustered by the door. ‘Armeria maritima.’
Ryan raised his eyebrows, apparently amused. ‘You’re quoting the Latin names of plants at me?’
‘My mother was a botanist. I grew up hearing Latin names. Some of them stuck.’ She touched the flower with the tip of her finger. ‘Sea pinks. They grow well in this climate, by the coast.’
Lexi rolled her eyes. ‘Gosh, Mum, gripping stuff.’
Jenna flushed and stood up. ‘Sorry. It’s just so wonderful to have a garden.’ Despite the knot in her stomach she felt better, and she was in no hurry to go indoors. Instead she breathed in the sea air and watched the plants waving in the breeze. The grass needed cutting, and there were weeds in the borders, but somehow that just added to the charm. She imagined herself lying on a rug on a warm Sunday morning, listening to the gulls and reading the paper.
When had she ever done that? Sundays were normally so busy, what with making a traditional Sunday roast for Clive and his mother, and then being expected to produce tea for the cricket club…
Aware that Ryan was watching her, Jenna flushed. She felt as though he could read her every thought, and that was disturbing because some of the thoughts she’d been having about him were definitely best kept private. ‘When Evanna told me that the job came with a house, I never imagined it would be anywhere as perfect as this. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to leave here. Who owns it?’
‘Kyla—Logan’s sister. Her husband, Ethan, was offered a job in the States. They’ll be back at some point.’
But not soon. Please don’t let it be soon.
A warm feeling spread through her, and for the first time since she’d left London Jenna felt a flicker of hope. Excitement. As if this might be the right decision after all.
She felt as if she belonged. She felt at home.
It’s—so peaceful.’ A gull shrieked above her and she laughed as she caught Ryan’s eye. ‘Well, not peaceful, perhaps, but the noises are different. Good noises. No car horns and revving engines. And everything is slow. I’m looking forward to just being still.’ Realising that she probably sounded ridiculous, Jenna shrugged awkwardly. ‘In London everything moves so fast. You get swept along with it so that sometimes you can’t even take a breath—I hate the pace of it.’
‘That’s because you’re so old, Mum.’ Lexi fiddled with her phone. ‘London was exciting. And our house was lovely.’
‘London was noisy and smelly and our house was far too big for the two of us.’ It was what she’d told herself when she’d realised that their house had been sold and she and Lexi no longer had a home. It was the only way she had coped.
Pushing away that thought, Jenna stepped into the hallway of the cottage. They had a home now, and she loved it. Light reflected off the polished wooden floor, and through an open door she could see a bright, cheerful kitchen. ‘We lived right next to an underground station and every three minutes the house shook.’
‘Yeah, it was so cool.’ Lexi tossed her hair away from her face, her eyes still on her mobile phone. ‘I was never more than ten minutes from the shops.’
But Jenna wasn’t thinking about shopping. It seemed far away. And so did Clive and the whole sordid mess she’d left behind. ‘This place is wonderful. We can have our breakfast outside on that little table.’ She turned to look at the pretty garden, eyes slightly misty, imagination running free. ‘Lexi, you can go for a swim, or a run on the beach.’
How could this be a mistake?
Maybe she hadn’t done the wrong thing. They could be happy here—she felt it.
Lexi shot her a look of incredulous disbelief and checked her mobile phone. ‘No signal again. How do people function around here?’
‘You can usually get a signal if you walk up the hill towards the castle.’ Ryan lifted their suitcases into the hallway and Lexi gave an exaggerated sigh.
‘Fine. If the only place I can use my phone is at the top of a hill then I’m going to have to walk up it!’ Making a frustrated sound in her throat, she stalked away.
Jenna opened her mouth to say be careful and then closed it again, leaving the words unspoken. She knew from experience that too much maternal anxiety was counterproductive.
But the guilt was back, eating away at her like acid, corroding her insides. She might have fallen in love with the cottage, but she knew this wasn’t what Lexi wanted.
‘It must be hard, letting them grow up.’ Ryan was standing in the doorway, his thumbs hooked into the pockets of his trousers, a speculative look in his blue eyes as he watched her.
‘You have no idea.’ Keeping her tone light, Jenna walked past him into the garden, her gaze on Lexi as her daughter sauntered across the road and started up the hill. A dozen nightmare scenarios sped through her overactive maternal brain. To control them, she used black humour. Say it aloud and it might not happen. ‘Are there any scary, dangerous individuals at large on Glenmore at the moment?’
‘Well, you’ve already met Mrs Parker—they don’t come much scarier or more dangerous than her. She’s wanted in five counties.’ His arm brushed against hers and Jenna felt her whole body tingle.
She stepped away from him, keeping her distance as she would from an electric fence. ‘I was thinking more of axe-wielding murderers and rapists.’
‘We had dozens of those last summer, but Mrs Parker saw them off. It’s hard to commit a crime in a community that knows what you’re planning to eat for supper.’
As Lexi’s figure grew smaller, and then vanished from sight, Jenna felt a moment of panic. Catching his eye, she gave an embarrassed laugh. ‘Yes, I know—I’m overreacting. It’s hard to forget this isn’t London. You must think I’m crazy. I think I’m crazy!’
‘That isn’t what I’m thinking.’
‘It would be if you knew what was going through my mind. It’s taking all my will-power not to charge after her and follow her up that hill.’
His gaze shifted from her face to where Lexi had disappeared. ‘I don’t know much about teenagers, but at a guess I’d say that probably isn’t the best idea.’
‘Well, I’d have to be discreet, of course.’ She made a joke of it. ‘I’d probably start by sprinting up the hill and then drop to my stomach and crawl so that she couldn’t see me.’
‘You’re going to have a hell of a job beating off an axe-wielding murderer if you’re crawling on your stomach.’
‘Never underestimate a mother protecting her young.’
‘I’ll remember that.’ He had a deep voice. Deep and male, with a slightly husky timbre that made her think things she hadn’t thought for a long time.
Jenna breathed in slowly and stared at the ridge, trying not to think about his voice. ‘I can’t believe she made it up there so quickly. Lexi isn’t really into exercise. It’s amazing what the lure of a mobile phone signal can do to cure teenage lethargy. I hope she’ll be OK.’
Ryan turned to her, and she noticed that the passing hours had darkened his jaw again. ‘She’s crossed the only road and she’s still alive. She’ll be fine. I’m not so sure about you.’
Her gaze met his and their eyes held.