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‘Yes, I am just coming down,’ she said and opened the door.
Jenny looked at her in concern.
‘Are you well? I was anxious because Hal said it had upset you seeing the Marquis of Rochdale here. I wanted to tell you that he has gone. You may come down now without fear of being forced to speak to him.’
‘Thank you,’ Madeline said. ‘I am sorry to have cast a shadow over your dance, Jenny.’
‘You have not done so. I can see very well why you distrust that man. I should have liked to refuse to receive him, but could not. However, he left before supper and I was relieved to see him go. Are you sure you wish to come down, dearest?’
‘Yes, I shall come,’ Madeline said and smiled at her. ‘Please, do not be anxious for my sake. This is your dance and you should enjoy it.’
‘Well, I shall now that that awful man is not here to distress you.’
Madeline linked arms with her and they went back down to the ballroom. Jenny stayed with her for a few minutes and then Adam claimed her for a dance. Madeline decided to circulate the rooms and spent an hour and a half talking to the other guests as if she had not a care in the world, but when the company began to disperse, she said goodnight to Jenny and Lord Ravenscar, then went in search of Hal. Both he and Adam had left the ballroom half an hour earlier and she wanted to say goodnight.
She decided to investigate the library, which was one of their favourite haunts. Approaching, she saw that the door was partially open and, as she hesitated, she heard their voices.
‘What else can I do?’ Hal was asking. ‘Madeline is in danger, Adam. I must take her somewhere she will be safe. If that means going abroad, then so be it.’
‘You will give up everything—your family and friends—for her? She is beautiful, and Jenny likes her, but she seems cold to me. Have you forgot that she broke your heart by marrying Lethbridge? I have never once seen her look at you with love, Hal. Are you certain this marriage is what you want?’
‘Yes, of course. I love her. I always have. Damn it, Adam, I don’t want to leave England, but I do not see that I have a choice.’
Madeline backed away, feeling sick. Hal was ready to give up everything for her, but Adam thought he was wrong. He did not wish to see his friend sacrifice his life for her sake, and who could blame him?
He was right that she had never allowed her feelings for Hal to show. Indeed, until he kissed her in the garden after their dance, she’d not been sure that she could bear to wed him, even though she loved him. His kiss had been so sweet and gentle that her fears had fled and she’d wanted him to go on and on kissing her. In that moment she would have given herself to him—and then the marquis had destroyed the spell that held them.
Tears stung her eyes as she fled back the way she had come, nearly tripping over the stairs as she ran up them, hardly able to hold back the sobs until she was inside her room. Sally was waiting for her. She looked at her as the tears cascaded down her cheeks.
‘What is wrong, my lady?’ she asked. ‘Is it that man?’
Madeline shook her head, brushing her tears away with the back of her hand. ‘It is mere foolishness on my part,’ she said. ‘Please unfasten my gown and then leave me.’
‘Will you not tell me what has so distressed you?’
‘It is nothing, a mere irritation of the nerves. I have a headache,’ Madeline lied as Sally unfastened the hooks at the back of her bodice. ‘I wish to sleep.’
‘I shall bring you a tisane. It will help you,’ Sally said.
‘Thank you,’ Madeline said, ‘but I think I shall sleep if I am left alone in peace.’
She saw the hurt in her maid’s eyes, but all she wanted was to be alone so that she could weep as her heart broke into tiny pieces. How could she let Hal give up everything that he cared for to marry her? She was not worthy of him. Lethbridge had soiled her, made her unfit to be the wife of a decent man.
Hal was going to London. She would give him a letter to her husband’s lawyers, instructing them to pay the marquis what was owed and then...then she must go away.
Madeline sat on the edge of her bed as Sally left her, closing the door softly behind her. An icy coldness settled about her heart as she realised that she had no choice.
She must take the opportunity to leave this house while Hal was gone. She would ask Sally and Thomas to accompany her as far as Dover. There she would purchase a passage for France, and they could go with her or leave her and buy the inn Thomas wanted.
Because of the contents of Lethbridge’s box she had enough to make a new start somewhere abroad. The jewels might not belong to her, but she would take them in lieu of the settlement owed to her. The Marquis of Rochdale might have all that was left of the estate for all she cared. She needed only sufficient to start her new life. Indeed, she would not take all the jewels, but only enough to make her secure until she could find work. In truth, she wanted nothing that had been her husband’s, but she must have something or she would starve. The clothes Sally had sold for her had brought her but one hundred guineas, far less than they had cost when new. It was enough to take her to France, but in time she would need to sell some of the jewels from the box.
It might be better to dismiss Sally and Thomas when they reached Dover. She could not expect them to give up their hopes and dreams for her—did not wish them to do so. Sally was very loyal to her so she would need to find a valid reason to stop Sally accompanying her to France.
In the morning she would sign a letter asking her husband’s lawyer to settle the marquis’s claim. She would smile as Hal left and wish him a safe journey, but when he returned to Ravenscar she would no longer be here.
Her decision made, Madeline dried her eyes. Weeping would do her no good at all. She must learn to be strong and to stand on her own. In her haste to flee from her husband she’d accepted Sally’s help and she’d gone to Hattie seeking a safe refuge, and then Hal had brought her here—but she must learn to fend for herself. Everyone had been kind to her, but it was time that she learned to manage her own life.
Getting up from the bed, she began to pack a few things into a bag and a satchel. The jewels she was taking with her she would secrete inside her clothes. She had no intention of letting her hosts know what she intended for they would try to stop her, but she would write a letter to Jenny, because she had been her friend. It would be hard to explain why she’d left them after their kindness, but she would try.
It would not be easy to leave secretly. They must walk as far as the posting inn in the village and from there hire a chaise that would take them as far as Dover. Madeline shivered as the ice slid down her back and she knew a cold enveloping fear at the future that lay before her. Her heart would break because she truly loved Hal and believed she could learn to be a proper wife to him if he were patient—but she must not accept his sacrifice. It was selfish of her to think of all she would lose. Hal would never abandon her so she must leave him.
It was the only way to save Hal from himself. If she allowed him to sacrifice everything for her, he would begin to regret that he had ever known her. She could not bear to see the look of love in his eyes turn to resentment.
No, it would be much better to give him up now and let him find someone who would be able to give him all the love he deserved. He would not understand. Perhaps he would hate her for once again destroying his hopes, but it was better than seeing the joy die from his eyes because he had been forced into a life he could not like.
Her decision made, Madeline slipped into an uneasy sleep but her dreams would not let her rest and she woke several times.
* * *
Awake again at seven in the morning, she rose and dressed herself and went downstairs. Hal was in the breakfast room. He rose to his feet as she entered with a cry of concern.
‘Did you come down just to see me off?’ he asked. ‘I thought to be gone long before you rose and I had written you a note.’ He moved towards her, taking her hands in his and gazing down into her face. ‘You are pale, Maddie. I hope you did not let that devil’s threats keep you awake. Do not give him another thought. I assure you I am not bothered by his malice. We shall find a way to silence him, believe me.’
‘I have a letter you must give to Lethbridge’s lawyers, Hal. The marquis must be paid and I care nothing for the money. There is a box in my room containing jewels the count allowed me to wear; they were not mine, but I do not know if they are heirlooms. If I am heir to my late husband’s possessions, they may be sold to help pay his debts. All I wanted was my settlement—but if that is needed to settle the debt then so be it.’
‘Your settlement cannot be touched in law,’ Hal said. ‘No court would take that to pay his debt—but the jewels may be requested. We have yet to ascertain whether you are the heir—but I shall attend to it immediately I reach London and send word as soon as I can.’
‘Thank you...’ Madeline reached up to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head so that their lips met. Once again his kiss was so soft and sweet that it made her feel weak with longing. If only she could return to the day she’d sent him away...when she was innocent and unsoiled. ‘You have done so much for me, Hal. I am grateful and I love you—please never doubt it.’
‘You are so lovely, my darling,’ Hal told her. ‘I regret that I must leave you, but these things must be attended. I shall waste no time in returning to you. Keep safe until I do—that is all I ask of you.’
Madeline smiled, but the tears she could not shed stung her eyes and her throat was tight with emotion. She clung to him for another moment, then forced herself to stand away and smile at him.
‘Forgive me, I know you must go.’
‘Yes, I must, but I shall return soon. We shall marry quietly and leave England before any rumours can start. In time the gossips will forget us and then we may return if we wish.’
Hal smiled at her, but made no further attempt to touch her. Madeline inclined her head, then turned and walked from the room, her head high. He must not guess what she meant to do for he would prevent her running away if he could.
* * *
When she entered her bedchamber she discovered Sally tidying the bed and looking at the bags she had packed the previous night. Sally turned to greet her, looking puzzled.
‘Are we going somewhere, my lady?’
‘I cannot stay here,’ Madeline told her. ‘Last night...the marquis saw me with Hal. He threatened to ruin us both if a debt my husband owed was not paid. I have arranged to pay what he owes, if the estate belongs to me, but I fear that even if the debt is paid in full he will not leave us be. He is a vengeful man and I think he may ruin Hal just for the pleasure it gives him. But if I am not here, if I do not marry Hal, people will not believe his lies. Hal can stay here and he will not lose everything he cares for.’
‘He would lose you,’ Sally said. ‘I think he cares for you more than all the rest. It would break his heart if you ran away, my lady—besides, where will you go?’
‘I intend to go to France,’ Madeline said. ‘I have but one talent and that is sewing, and I speak French well enough to find work there. I should like it if you and Thomas would accompany me as far as Dover, where I should be able to buy a passage on a ship bound for France, but then we shall part company. Thomas can buy the inn he wants—and you shall have a gift as a wedding present. I can only take a change of clothing with me and some of my jewels, but the clothes that remain here can be sold. I will give you a letter releasing them to you and you may sell them.’
‘No, my lady, I shall not accept them,’ Sally said, her mouth set determinedly. ‘I must tell you that I think you wrong to leave the protection of this house. You have good friends here who will care for you until Major Ravenscar returns. He loves you. You are making a great mistake to throw away a love like that. Forgive me for speaking out, but it is the truth.’
‘Yes, perhaps it is,’ Madeline said and her chest was tight with pain. ‘I know that you care for me and I am not angry that you spoke as you feel—but I cannot let Hal ruin himself for me. I love him too much to see him lose all that is dear to him.’
‘I cannot agree with you, my lady, but I see there is no changing your mind. If you are determined to leave, I shall come with you.’
‘Ask Thomas to prepare. We must slip away quietly and take a chaise from the posting house in the village.’ She picked up her purse and took some gold coins from it, giving them to Sally. ‘He may go on ahead of us and hire the chaise. Go to him now and tell him, then pack your things. I must write some letters—and I shall meet you in the rose arbour in one hour. If something should delay me, wait until I come for I shall not fail.’
‘If you are sure, my lady?’
‘Perfectly sure,’ Madeline said. ‘Please, do not try to dissuade me. It is hard enough as it is.’
Sally looked grave, but went out of the room, shaking her head over it. Madeline knew her maid would not be easily persuaded to leave her at Dover, but once there she could find a ship for herself and find a way to slip away. She must not let Sally and Thomas give up their dream for her sake. It was time that she learned to look after herself.
Sitting down at the pretty writing desk near the window, Maddie took some notepaper from the drawer and began to write the letters she would leave for Hal and Jenny. They were the hardest she’d ever penned in her life and she screwed up her first attempts.
It was easier to write to Jenny than to Hal. She wrote of her pleasure in her visit to Ravenscar and in the friendship she’d formed with Jenny, assuring her that she regretted leaving and hoped she would be forgiven.
I do not leave lightly, but I cannot bring disgrace and trouble on such good friends. Rochdale intends to ruin us and I fear he will not be satisfied even if every penny of the debt Lethbridge owed him is paid—so I hope to avert scandal by leaving your house. I know that some gossip may still circulate, but it should not fall on you if I am gone. I believe Hal may weather the storm if I am not there to bring further shame on him—and I would not have him lose everything he cares for, for my sake. Please forgive this selfish wretch for bringing trouble to you. I am so grateful and for ever your friend,
Madeline.
It was so much harder to write to Hal. If she gave him hope he might search for her so she could not write of undying love. She must not hurt him more than absolutely necessary and she could not give him a clue where she intended to go for he would come after her. She must, however, convince him that she did not wish to marry. She wrote at last,
My very dear Hal, I hardly know how to write this for I know, whatever I say, I must inflict pain and that is far from my wish. You have been all that is good and honourable and I know you would give up your very life for me, but I am not worthy of you, my love. I have thought about the future and I believe that what Lethbridge did to me has scarred me for life. Although I love and honour you, I fear I can never be the wife you want. You cannot even begin to imagine the humiliation I suffered or to understand the disgust for the physical side of love he instilled in me. I believe I shall never marry again and therefore I am setting you free. I shall always think you the kindest man I know and I wish with all my heart that you will forget me and find a new love.
With me gone, Rochdale will not bother you again. You may be free of the shadows I brought to your life and find happiness.
Madeline
The tears trickled down her cheek as she sanded her letter and then folded it, sealing it with wax. She would leave the letters on the dressing table, where they would be found when Jenny came in search of her.
Picking up her bags, she strapped the satchel over her body and then covered it with a warm velvet cloak. She could hide the larger bag under the voluminous cloak until she was out of the house. Jenny would not rise for another two hours for she would sleep late after the dance the previous evening. Adam might be about, but if she slipped out by a side door she might avoid being seen as she left the house.
Luck was with her, and other than one maid and a footman in the hall, she met no one as she went downstairs. They looked at her in surprise for it was early and she was dressed in a thick cloak, which was unusual for a mild morning, but they took little notice. She was a guest in the house and it was not their business to enquire where she went or what she did. The footman did notice that she was carrying a bag, but he was on his way to breakfast in the servants’ hall and gave it no more than a passing thought at the time.
Having escaped the house without challenge, Madeline walked swiftly to the rose arbour, where she found Sally waiting for her. The girl had a satchel over her shoulder and carried two bags, which probably contained all her things. Clearly, she did not intend returning to claim the clothes and possessions Madeline had left behind. She would have to give them something else instead. Perhaps one day when she was settled she could ask Jenny to sell the things that remained and send the money to her. She would need to wait for some months or more to give Hal time to get over the shock of her departure.
‘What did Thomas say?’ Madeline asked. ‘Has he gone to secure the chaise for us?’
‘Yes, my lady. I told him what you said about leaving you at Dover and he says he can open a tavern in France as easily as here.’
‘You are both so good to me,’ Madeline said in a voice choked with emotion. She doubted that Thomas knew more than two words of French and would find it very much harder to run an inn in France. However, she knew better than to argue, for her friends would protect her as best they could even if she tried to send them away. The only thing she could do would be to slip away to a ship when they reached the port.
* * *
The Marquis of Rochdale scowled as he was compelled to stop at the blacksmith to have one of his horses shod. Having outstayed his welcome at his cousin’s house, he’d been forced to leave sooner than he would have wished. His henchmen had followed Madeline from the farm to the Earl of Ravenscar’s house, which, being close enough to his cousin’s estate, had made it easy for him to attend various social events in the district. Madeline had not ventured far from Ravenscar, but he’d managed to wangle an invitation to Jenny Miller’s dance, which had brought him face to face with his quarry.
Seeing her in Hallam Ravenscar’s arms had made him furious. His threats had been vicious and made in anger. Lethbridge owed him fifteen thousand pounds, which was a debt of honour and would probably be settled by whoever had inherited the estate if it were possible, though he knew that Lethbridge was badly dipped and his estate already mortgaged. A man with so much to lose would never have taken to cheating at the tables if he’d not had good reason.
Be damned to the money! Rochdale was rich enough despite his predilection to high stakes at the tables and a temporary setback in his finances. It was revenge he wanted—revenge on that proud beauty who had dared to lead him on and then defied him in the gardens, making him look a fool. Her lover had rescued her then and Rochdale was not a man to forgive humiliation. She had become an obsession with him and the longing she aroused in him was beyond his control. Yet if he could have her and the money so much the better. Before leaving London, he’d made certain enquiries. Lethbridge had had a cousin on his mother’s side, but the man had died the previous year without issue. His title would now be defunct and his fortune would pass to his only surviving relative—and that was his beautiful wife.
Even if the estate was mortgaged there must be something left...jewels, horses, but most importantly Madeline Lethbridge. It was her Rochdale wanted above all else. He had always been attracted to pretty innocents, but something about Madeline made him want to subdue and own her, to teach her to obey him.
At the ball he’d danced with a pretty young innocent who had been flattered by his compliments. Had Rochdale not been obsessed with Madeline, he might have seduced the chit for she was ready enough and ripe for the picking. She would not be the first innocent he had forcibly seduced. Only once had his iniquity been discovered and he’d fought a duel, which led to the death of Sir William Mardle and the decline of his daughter. Miss Ellen Mardle had retired from public life and, although her name had not been besmirched, there had been rumours about the reason her father had called Rochdale out.
A smile touched his mouth. The honourable fool had insulted him over some trifling incident and, when he responded by sneering in his face, had called him out and chosen pistols. Mardle had never stood a chance for Rochdale was a crack shot as well as being a master with the foils. He had fought half-a-dozen duels and three times killed his man, wounding the other three severely. Since on each occasion he’d been the one called out, he had received no more than a stern warning from the magistrate. Despite his reputation, he still had some influential friends—friends about whom he knew devastating secrets, just as he’d known about Lethbridge’s cheating at the tables.
If the fool had been able to control his wife, this business might have been over, for he seldom found a woman of interest once he’d had her a few times, but Lethbridge had reneged on his bargain and he’d paid the price. A ball in the back when he was engaged in a duel with Ravenscar had been a masterly stroke, but because Ravenscar had held his fire it had miscarried. Had he shot no one would have known that it was Rochdale’s ball that killed Lethbridge. An observant doctor might have discovered two wounds, but ten to one Ravenscar would have missed. It took a steady nerve to kill a man in cold blood. As it was, Rochdale had had to run in order to escape detection and that did not suit his pride.
His grievances against Hallam Ravenscar were mounting. To discover that Madeline loved him—had given him her kiss willingly and planned to wed him—had infuriated Rochdale. In his anger he’d lied about the amount owed him, but it was an easy matter to forge the other notes for he had a talent that had come in useful on more than one occasion. He’d forged his uncle’s signature on a will that made him the heir and disinherited his more deserving cousin. A few gambling debts was nothing...yet the money was scarcely compensation for what he truly wanted.
Money would not satisfy this hunger inside him. Revenge was necessary to him if he were ever to forget his humiliation at her and Ravenscar’s hands.
Irked by the length of time the blacksmith had taken to shoe his horse, he told his groom to fetch him when it was ready and strolled over to the inn. He was just in time to see three people getting into a chaise. For a moment he could not believe what he was seeing—what on earth was Madeline Lethbridge doing sharing a post chaise with her maid while the former footman rode behind them on his horse?
Where was Hallam Ravenscar or the Ravenscar grooms?
Perhaps, more importantly, where was she going?
A smile spread over his face and he laughed inwardly. Was the stupid little fool running away again? Hallam Ravenscar would never have allowed her to undertake a journey with only one man for protection—so the chances were that he did not know.
It would be most interesting to discover where she was headed. Rochdale had nothing more important to do with his life and he could feel the excitement mounting inside him. There was now every chance that he could have the prize that had eluded him for weeks—and once he’d used her and brought her to his knees, in a few months, he would invite Ravenscar to come and fetch her. That way he would have his revenge on both of them. If Ravenscar challenged him to a duel, he would kill him.