Carrots: Just a Little Boy
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"I'd like to live in it always," said Carrots.
"Oh you funny boy," said Sybil patronisingly, "and what would you do at night, when it got cold, and perhaps the sea would come in."
"Perhaps the mermaids would take care of him till the morning," said Floss.
"What are the mermaids?" asked Sybil.
"Pretty ladies," said Carrots, "who live at the bottom of the sea, only they've got tails."
"Then they can't be pretty," said Sybil decidedly, "not unless their tails are beautiful and sweeping out, like peacocks! Are they? – one day I tied a shawl of mother's on, it was a red and gold shawl, and I sweeped it about just like a peacock, – that would be pretty."
"I don't think mermaids' tails are like that," said Carrots, doubtfully, "but they are pretty ladies, aren't they, Floss?"
"Beautiful," said Floss, "but they're very sad. They come up to the shore at night and comb their hair and cry dreadfully."
"What do they cry for?" asked Sybil and Carrots, pressing up to Floss, and forgetting all about the lovely sand house.
"Because they – no, you couldn't understand," she broke off; "it is no good telling you."
"Oh do tell," said the children.
"Well," said Floss, "I read in a book of Cecil's, they cry because they haven't got any souls. When they die they can't go to heaven, you see."
Sybil and Carrots looked very solemn at this. Then a sudden thought struck Carrots.
"How can they cry if they haven't got souls, Floss?" he said, "nurse says it's our souls that make us glad and sorry. Are you sure the poor mermaids haven't got souls?"
"I'm only telling you what I read in a book," said Floss. "I dare say it's all a sort of fairy tale. Don't you like fairy tales, Sybil?"
"No," said Sybil, "I like stories of naughty boys and girls best —very naughty boys and girls."
"Oh, Sybil!" said Carrots, "I don't, because they are always unhappy in the end."
"No, they're not. Sometimes they all get good. Mother always makes them get good at the end," replied Sybil.
"Does auntie tell you stories?" said Floss.
"Yes, of course, for I can't read them to myself yet. I'm learning, but it is so hard," said Sybil dolefully.
"I wish auntie would tell us stories."
"P'raps she will when you come to my house," said Sybil, encouragingly. "Would you think that a treat?"
"It would be a 'normous treat."
"We're going to have a treat to-day," said Floss. "We're going to have tea in the dining-room with you, Sybil, and auntie and everybody, and I think it's time to go in now, because we must change our frocks."
Carrots had never had tea in the dining-room before, and felt a little overpowered by the honour. He sat very still, and took whatever was offered to him, as nurse had taught him. Cecil poured out the tea, and to please the children she put an extra allowance of sugar into their cups. Carrots tasted his, and was just thinking how very nice it was, when it flashed across his mind that he should not have had any sugar. He put down his cup and looked round him in great perplexity. If only he could ask Floss. But Floss was at the other side of the table, she seemed to be drinking her tea without any misgiving. Wasn't it naughty? Could she have forgotten? Carrots grew more and more unhappy; the tears filled his eyes, and his face got scarlet.
"What's the matter, dear?" said auntie, who was sitting next him, "is your tea too hot? Has it scalded your poor little mouth?"
She said it in a low voice. She was so kind and "understanding," she knew Carrots would not have liked everybody round the table to begin noticing him, and as she looked at him more closely, she saw that the tears in his eyes were those of distress, not of "scalding."
"No, thank you," said Carrots, looking up in auntie's face in his perplexity; "it isn't that. My tea is werry good, but it's got sugar in."
"And you don't like sugar? Poor old man! Never mind, Cecil will give you another cup. You're not like Sybil in your tastes," said auntie, kindly, and she turned to ask Cecil for some sugarless tea for her little brother.
"No, no, auntie. Oh, please don't," whispered Carrots, his trouble increasing, and pulling hard at his aunt's sleeve as he spoke, "I do like sugar werry much – it isn't that. But mamma said I was never, never to take nucken that wasn't mine, and sugar won't be mine for two weeks more, nurse says."
Auntie stared at her little nephew in blank bewilderment. What did he mean? Even her quick wits were quite at fault.
"What do you mean, my dear little boy?" she said.
Suddenly a new complication struck poor Carrots.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, "it's a secret, it's a secret, and I'm telling it," and he burst into tears.
It was impossible now to hide his trouble. Everybody began to cross-question him.
"Cry-baby," muttered Maurice, and even Mrs. Desart said, "Carrots, I wonder at your behaving so when your aunt and cousin are here. Floss, do you know what is the matter with him?"
"No, mamma," said Floss, looking as she always did when Carrots was in distress, ready to cry herself.
"Carrots," said Captain Desart, sharply, "go to the nursery till you learn to behave properly."
Carrots got slowly down off his high chair, and crept away. But everybody looked troubled and uncomfortable.
Auntie hated to see people looking troubled and uncomfortable. She thought a minute, and then she turned to Mrs. Desart.
"Lucy," she said, "will you let me try what I can do with the poor little fellow? I am sure it was not naughtiness made him cry."
And almost before Mrs. Desart could reply, auntie was off to the nursery in search of Carrots.
He had left off crying, and was sitting quietly by the window, looking out at his old friend the sea.
"What are you thinking about, my poor old man?" said auntie, fondly.
Carrots looked up at her. "I like you to call me that," he said. "I was thinking about our hoops and what a long time four weeks is."
"Has that to do with you having no sugar?" asked auntie.
"Yes," said Carrots. "How did you guess? You're like a fairy, auntie." But then his face grew troubled again. "I forgot," he went on, "it's a secret. It's Floss's secret too. I would so like to tell you, for I don't know what to do. I don't mind having no tea, but they all thought I was naughty."
"Wait a minute," said auntie. She hurried out of the room, but was back in a minute.
"I've asked Floss," she said, "and she gives you leave to tell me. So now, perhaps, when I know all about it, I can tell you what to do."
The telling did not take Carrots long; he was so glad to show auntie he had not meant to be naughty. Auntie listened quite gravely, and when he had finished she said she thought he was quite right not to take any sugar.
"But do you think Floss did?" said Carrots, anxiously.
"Perhaps having tea in the dining-room made her forget," said auntie. "We'll ask her afterwards, and if she did forget, I'll tell you what she must do. She must go without one day longer than you. Now come along with me, and I'll make it all right, you'll see."
When they got back to the dining-room auntie quietly lifted Carrots on to his chair again, and said to his mamma with a smile, "It was all a mistake; I thought it was; Carrots was not naughty at all, and he is quite happy again now."
And Mrs. Desart smiled too, so Carrots really did feel happy again. But he wondered what auntie would do about the tea, which was still standing there as he had left it, and it would be wrong to "waste" it, thought Carrots.
Sybil was sitting on auntie's other side, and auntie glancing at her cup saw that it was empty. So auntie quietly put Carrots' cup before Sybil and gave Carrots the empty one.
"Cecil," she said, "will you give Carrots some tea without any sugar?"
Cecil saw that auntie had some reason for asking this, so she gave Carrots the tea as auntie said, and Carrots drank it and ate his bread and butter and a piece of cake, with great content.
The only person who did not seem quite contented was Sybil.
"Mother," she whispered, "I don't like having Carrots' tea. It's quite cold."
But as Carrots didn't hear it, it didn't much matter. For you see, Sybil had had one cup of nice hot tea, so she was not so badly off after all.
And, alas! the very next morning auntie and Sybil had to go away. And the long-talked of and fancied-about visit was over.
CHAPTER X.
A JOURNEY AND ITS ENDING
"The way was long, the wind was cold."Soon after auntie's visit summer really began to come. It was very pleasant while it lasted, but this year it was a very short summer, and the winter that came after was a very severe one, and made many people ill. It did not make Carrots ill, nor Floss, nor any of the Desart children, for they were all strong, but it was very bad for their mother. As the winter went on, she seemed to get weaker and weaker; there were very few days on which she could go out, and if the spring had not been an early and very mild one, I hardly think her strength would have lasted.
But with the finer weather she seemed to get better again. The children were of course very glad, but still they had not felt frightened by her illness. It had come on so slowly and gradually that they had got accustomed to it, as children do. They thought it was just the cold wintry weather that had made her ill, and that when the spring came she would get better. And when the spring came and she did get better, they were perfectly satisfied and happy.
By the end of this summer Carrots was seven years old – no longer in the least a baby, though he was not tall for his age. He could read, of course, perfectly, and write a little. Now and then he wrote little letters to Sybil in answer to hers, for she was very particular about getting answers. She was only just beginning to learn to write, and sometimes when she got tired of working away at real "A's" and "B's" and "C's" in her letters, she would dash off into a lot of "scribble," which she said was "children's writing," and "if Carrots didn't know what it meant he must be very stupid, as he was a child too."
Carrots didn't know what it meant, but he never liked to say so, and I dare say it did not much matter. But his letters to Sybil were quite real. Any one could have understood them.
Long ago Floss and he had bought their hoops. They were quite "old friends" now. They had bought them at the toy-shop, just as they had planned, and, curiously enough when their mamma and nurse counted up how much was owing to them for the sugar, it came to exactly the price of the hoops.
But I must tell you what happened just about the time Carrots had his seventh birthday. The summer was nearly over again and already the cold winds, of which there were so many at Sandyshore, were beginning to be felt. Floss noticed that her mother very seldom went out now, and even in the house she generally had to wrap herself up in a shawl.
"Mamma, I hope the cold weather isn't going to make you ill again?" Floss said, one day when she and Carrots came in from a race on the sands, all hot and rosy with running.
"I don't know, dear," said her mother with a little sigh.
"I wish you could run about like us. That would make you so hot," said Carrots.
Mrs. Desart smiled. Just then her glance happened to fall on Floss's boots. "My dear child," she said, "those boots are really not fit to go out with. There's a great hole at the side of one of them."
"I know, mamma," said Floss, "but they're going to be mended. Nurse thinks they'll do a good while longer, if they're mended. I hope they will, for I know you always have so many new things to get when winter begins to come – haven't you, mamma?"
Mrs. Desart sighed again.
"I should have liked all your things to be so nice," she said, more as if speaking to herself than to Floss, "but it can't be helped."
Something in her tone caught Floss's attention.
"Why, mamma?" she asked, "why did you want our things to be so nice?"
"Because, dears, you may be going away from home," replied Mrs. Desart.
Floss and Carrots stared with astonishment. "Going away from home," Floss repeated, utterly unable to say more. Carrots could say nothing at all, he could only stare.
"Yes," continued Mrs. Desart, "I had meant to tell you about it before, but I have kept putting it off – " she stopped and seemed to hesitate.
"Why, mamma?" said Floss again. "Don't you like us to go? Are you coming with us, mamma?"
"Are we going to auntie's?" said Carrots.
His asking this seemed to please his mother.
"You would like to go to auntie's, wouldn't you, Carrots?" she said.
Carrots stroked his mother's shawl up and down two or three times before he answered.
"I'd like to go if you would come too," he said at last, "but I think I would rather stay at home, thank you, if you can't come."
Mrs. Desart's eyes filled with tears. "Poor little Carrots!" she said, softly smoothing his curls with her hand. "But if it would please me for Floss and you to go without me?" she said.
"I'll go if you want me to go, mamma," said Carrots.
"I must explain a little," said Mrs. Desart, and then she went on to tell the children how it was. The doctor had said she must not risk another winter at Sandyshore, and it had been arranged for her to go to a warmer climate. Cecil and Louise were to go with her; Captain Desart would be with them as much as he possibly could, and Maurice was to live at school. And what concerned the two little ones almost more than anything, nurse was to go too! "I must have some one kind and sensible with me, in case, in case – " and again Mrs. Desart hesitated.
"In case you were very tired with travelling, or if you were to get a bad cold again; somebody who could make nice white wine whey and things like that," said Floss, who was of a practical turn of mind, "oh yes, mamma, I quite understand."
"Though nurse is getting old, she has been so much accustomed to travelling, too," said Mrs. Desart, "and we are going a long way – to Algeria; Floss, do you know where that is?"
"Over the sea!" said Floss, "I wish we might come too, mamma, Carrots and I," she exclaimed. "You will be so far away."
"But you will be with auntie, and you know how kind auntie is," said her mother, forcing herself to speak cheerfully. "And it is such a pretty place where auntie lives."
"Is the sea there?" said Carrots.
"No, but the hills are," answered Mrs. Desart with a smile. "I am quite sure you will like it." And she went on to tell them so much about auntie's pretty home that for a little they almost forgot everything but the pleasant part of the change that was to come so soon.
And it did come very soon. It seemed but a few days from the afternoon they had first heard about it all, when Floss and Carrots found themselves early one morning at the little railway station with their father, waiting for the train.
Captain Desart was to travel with them for the first hour, to take them to the "junction" where they were to change and get into a train which would take them straight to Whitefriars, near which was auntie's house.
You will laugh, children, I dare say, and think Floss and Carrots very countrified and ignorant when I tell you that they had never been a long railway journey before. Never, that is to say, that they could remember– for their parents had come to Sandyshore when Floss was a baby, and Carrots, as you know, had been born there.
So you can hardly fancy what a wonderful event this journey was to them.
Their little hearts were very full at first after parting with their mother, and sisters, and nurse, and all that made the Cove House home to them.
And their mamma had kissed them so many times, as if she could not really say good-bye, though she was not generally a very petting or kissing mamma, but rather quiet and grave.
And nurse had the tears in her eyes, and Louise had them pouring down her face, and Cecil had her face squeezed up in a sort of way that Floss knew meant she was determined she would not cry. Floss felt troubled in a way she could not understand, and I think Carrots did too. They had a feeling that the bigger people knew of more reason for sorrow than had been told to them, and yet they could not imagine what it could be. And after all, to them the parting for even four or five months was almost as great a trouble as they could understand! only they were going to "auntie's!"
"And we will try to be so good, dear mamma," said Floss, bravely choking down her tears. "We will try to get on with our lessons, too, and write you nice letters. And – and – " here a sob or two would make its way, "I can't help crying a little; but I'm sure we shall be very happy, won't we Carrots?"
"If mamma wants us to be happy, we'll try, won't we Floss?" said Carrots. He wiped the tears on his mother's cheeks with his own little pocket handkerchief and looked up in her face piteously. "Please don't cry, poor mamma," he said; "we will be good and happy."
Then their father came in and hurried them off, and the farewells were over – that part of them, at least, for the saying goodbye to Captain Desart at the junction was rather hard too.
And at last Floss and Carrots find themselves at the height of their ambition – alone in a railway carriage travelling to auntie's! But they do not seem so delighted as they used to fancy they would; they do not jump about and laugh and chatter in their overflowing pleasure – they sit quite still, side by side, holding each other's hands and with little quiet grave faces.
"Things never come the same as people fancy," said Floss at last. "We never thought we should go to auntie's because poor mamma was ill, did we Carrots?"
"No, we never did," said Carrots. "But mamma will soon get better, won't she, Floss, at that nice warm place?"
"Oh yes, of course she will," said Floss. "But it's a long way away Carrots, and I never thought going to auntie's would be like this."
"No," agreed Carrots again, "we never did."
"I'm so sorry to leave them all, aren't you, Carrots?" said Floss, her voice trembling a little.
"Yes," said Carrots; "and Floss, I'm very sorry, too, to leave the sea. I never left the sea before, you know."
"But the sea won't miss you," said Floss, "and poor mamma and nursie and all of them will miss us. That's what I keep thinking of."
"When should we eat our dinner, Floss?" said Carrots, with an instinct that it would be as well to change the subject.
"Not just yet. When we've gone about half way would do; and papa said that great big place, Millingham, would be about half way."
"But if there were any other people to get into the carriage?" said Carrots.
"Well, it wouldn't matter," said Floss. "People must eat when they are travelling."
"But wouldn't we have to ask them to have some too?" suggested Carrots.
"I don't know," said Floss; "I never thought of that. Perhaps it would be polite. But there are only eight sandwiches, Carrots; eight sandwiches and four sponge cakes and a packet of Albert biscuits. I hope a great many people won't get in."
No one got in at the next station. Only the guard put his head in at the door, as Captain Desart had asked him to do, to see how the little pair were getting on. Carrots had thoughts of offering him a sandwich, but he disappeared before there was time to do so, which Floss thought very fortunate when she heard of Carrots' intention. "For you see," she said, "if we began offering them to him, we would have to do it at every station, and if there are eight stations before Whitefriars, all our sandwiches would be gone."
"He might have a biscuit for a change," said Carrots, submissive, but scarcely convinced. "He is a nice man, Floss – he calls us 'Well, sir,' and 'Miss.' Do you think papa told him to say 'Well, sir,' and 'Miss?'"
But before Floss had time to answer they had stopped again, and this time some one did get into their carriage. The new-comer was a small, neat, oldish lady. She looked rather grim at first, but after a while she grew decidedly friendly, and no wonder; for at Millingham Floss and Carrots unpacked their little basket of provisions, and I don't think the grimmest of maiden ladies could have remained grim after the politeness with which the children treated her.
They selected the nicest looking sandwich, putting it on an Albert biscuit by way of a plate, and then, at a sign from Floss, Carrots clambered down from his seat and gravely offered it to the lady.
"I'm sorry there's no mustard, if you like mustard," said Floss; "but Carrots and I don't like it, and – and – I suppose nurse didn't think of anyone else."
The oldish lady looked at the children for a moment before she replied.
"I am very much obliged to you," she said at last, "but I think I won't take a sandwich, as I had luncheon before I left home. But if you will allow me I will have a biscuit. I am very fond of biscuits."
"I'm so glad," said Floss, hospitably. "Now, Carrots," she said in a lower voice, "you eat two sandwiches and I'll eat two, and we'll each have one sponge cake. And that'll do for dinner. We'll eat the rest in about an hour and pretend we're having tea early."
The lady asked them a good many questions after this, and told them they were such well-behaved children, she would not mind travelling all the way to Whitefriars with them. Floss blushed a little at this; it made her feel shy to be praised to her face, but still no doubt the lady meant it kindly, and they were rather sorry when she left them, some stations before they got to Whitefriars. Their old friend the guard left them here, too, but he popped his head in for the last time to say that he was going to speak for them to "him that was coming on now." And Floss thanked him, though she had not the least idea what he meant.
But there must have been some mistake about it, for the new guard never came near them, and when, at the last stoppage before Whitefriars, another man threw the door open and demanded "tickets," Floss felt too startled by his rough manner to ask him what they were longing to know, how far they still had to go. But he took away the tickets. "So we can't have very far to go," said Floss. "Papa said they would take away the tickets a little before we got to Whitefriars."
"Will auntie be at the station?" said Carrots.
"Yes, I'm sure she will," said Floss. "Auntie and Sybil too, perhaps. Carrots, I do believe we're there; the train's stopping."
And in another minute they found themselves in a nice clean-looking station with several people standing about on the platform, evidently waiting for the train.
The children looked out eagerly. There were two or three ladies, one little girl, and a few other people – but no auntie, no Sybil!
"P'raps this isn't the place," said Carrots.
"Please, is this Whitefriars?" inquired Floss of a porter who just then threw open the door.
"Whitefriars, yes miss. Any luggage?"
"Oh yes," said Floss anxiously, "a great deal It's in one of the luggage carriages, and it's marked with our name."
The man smiled. "Will you come with me, missie, and show me which it is, and I'll get it all right for you."
"Oh, thank you," said Floss, gathering together their cloaks and baskets, and preparing to descend.
"What a kind man," whispered Carrots; and when the porter lifted him out of the carriage he took hold of his hand and ran along beside him as fast as his little legs could keep up.
Floss felt quite bewildered at first, when she saw the heaps and heaps of luggage lying on the platform, all labelled "Whitefriars." It seemed to her that everybody must have been travelling to Whitefriars to-day! But by degrees it was claimed and melted away, and the kind porter, to whom she had already pointed out their "great deal" – one portmanteau, one bag, and a small tin hat-box – soon picked it up and stood waiting for further orders.
"Where am I to take it to, please miss?" he said. "Is there no one here to meet you?"
"I don't think so, I don't know what to do," said Floss, looking sadly troubled again. In the excitement of finding the luggage she had forgotten this new difficulty, but now it returned in full force.