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“He’s the ringer,” Kelly added. “Dad and my friend Helen are the professional musicians who help. They perform in showcases every few weeks.”
“That’s fun.” Olivia wrinkled her nose. “I think I remember you playing guitar when I was little. It was nice.”
“Come with me. We can talk between sets.”
“Thanks, but I’m meeting friends later.”
“Next time, then.” Jeff hugged Olivia and Kelly. “My two girls back at home. Who would have thought?”
Yes, who, Kelly thought to herself. Certainly not her.
* * *
For reasons not clear to Griffith, the sign at the craft mall/community center had been changed. When he’d shown up for the book club, it had been called Petal Pushers. Now there was a new sign: The Dutch Bunch. He figured it was an homage to the tulips they grew in the area, but still. Kind of strange for the Pacific Northwest where Native American names gave visitors tongue-twisting trouble.
He always enjoyed listening to tourists trying to pronounce places like Snohomish, Issaquah or Cle Elum, or his personal favorite, Stillaguamish. Not that he knew anything about naming a craft mall.
He’d shown up for a musical showcase where local bands performed for friends and family. It was the audible equivalent to a train wreck—you really didn’t want to look and see anything bad, but it was impossible to turn away. In this case, there was the faint possibility of hearing something passably good, with the more likely outcome of wincing through the butchering of a perfectly good song. Or twenty.
Griffith wouldn’t normally bother coming. He had plenty to fill his time. But Leo’s son was playing tonight and Leo had asked Griffith to attend. Leo rarely asked for anything, plus he’d sounded so proud when he’d told Griffith about the showcase.
Apparently the band was going to perform a Beatles retrospective. Griffith hoped the Beatles who had already left the earth had reached a state of grace and forgiveness. If they chose to exact punishment for what was about to be done to their songs, there was no telling what could happen.
The room would hold a couple hundred people. There were about sixty there already. Leo and his family had claimed the entire front row of tables. Griffith waved at him, then settled in for what he would guess was going to be a very long evening.
The event was BYOB. He’d grabbed a six-pack of beer. As he found a seat at one of the tables, he wondered if he should have brought something stronger. Or more of it.
He’d just opened his first bottle when he saw Kelly walk in and look around. At first he thought she was looking for friends to sit with, but then he noticed she seemed tense and on edge. When she glanced in his direction, he waved her over.
Her look of relief was gratifying.
“What are you doing here?” she asked as she approached. “I didn’t think anyone came without being obligated. You know the music is going to be awful, right?”
He stood and held out a chair. “I do. Leo, my floor supervisor, has a kid playing. He asked me to come. What’s your excuse?”
“I couldn’t stay home.” With that she pulled a bottle of vodka out of her large tote bag. “They still serve sodas and stuff here, right?”
He eyed the full bottle, then pointed to the concession stand by the wall. “Sure. What do you want?”
“A large glass with ice. Tonic water if they have it, otherwise club soda and a lime.”
“I’ll be right back.”
“Thanks.”
The room was filling up and the noise level rising. They were going to have a full house tonight. He walked over to the serve-yourself concession stand and filled a large Solo cup with ice and three inches of tonic and added a couple slices of lime. When he returned to their table, Kelly sat staring at the far wall. Her eyes were unfocused and her mouth trembled slightly.
He sat next to her and handed her the cup. “What’s wrong?”
“Is it that obvious?” She poured a healthy serving of vodka, then swirled the ice in the cup. “Don’t ask. I know the answer. It’s just... I don’t know. Everything was fine, you know? Sure, my life isn’t that interesting, but I like it. I have a good job and good friends and then bam, something smacks you upside the head.”
For a second he wondered if she was talking about what he’d suggested. No, that had been several days ago and when he’d seen her at the farm, she’d been friendly enough. It was something else.
“Olivia’s back,” she said flatly.
It took him a second to figure out who Olivia was. “Your sister?”
“That’s her. She’s home for the summer.” She took another drink. “I’m being punished. I get that. It’s fair, but damn. I don’t know how I’m going to get through it. She’s so perfect. Her clothes, her hair. Plus the way she talks about everything in Phoenix. Only if it’s all so great, what is she doing here?”
He had no idea what she was talking about, so he kept his mouth shut. Kelly needed someone to listen—him knowing or not knowing the subject seemed unimportant.
“It’s been so long. She was fifteen when Dad sent her to boarding school and I was eighteen. Getting ready to start college. I was so excited and—”
She looked at him. Tears filled her eyes. “I’m lying. Dad didn’t send her away. Okay, he did, but it was my idea. I’m the one who said she was acting out in school. She and Ryan were dating and it was getting serious and I was so scared she was going to be like our mom. I was worried for her, but mostly for myself. I knew if she screwed up and got pregnant, I would be stuck dealing with it all and I just didn’t want to. I know that makes me a horrible person.”
He shifted his chair closer and put his arm around her. “No, it doesn’t.”
She blinked away the tears. “It does. I was selfish.”
“Because you didn’t want your sister to get pregnant at fifteen? Yeah, you were a real bitch.”
“But we sent her away.”
He thought about his brother and the women in his life. Griffith had been away at college when his brother was in high school, but he’d heard plenty of stories.
“You did the right thing for both of them.”
“You’re being nice. Thank you.” She leaned against him and took another drink. “Now she’s back and she’s already mentioned seeing him.”
“Ryan has a girlfriend.”
“That’s what I thought. I’m not sure Olivia knows, but that’s not my rock. I just don’t know how I’m going to deal with her for the summer. Biologically we’re sisters, but in reality, we’re strangers.”
“Want to move in with me?”
She looked at him. “Wow, there’s an invitation.”
He grinned. “I meant into your own room. The house is big enough.”
“I’m not sure jumping from the frying pan to the fire is a good idea, but thank you for the offer.” She sighed. “Dad is happy. She’s his baby girl and now he has both of us together under one roof. Maybe this is a sign that I should get my own place.”
“Maybe you should see how things are going to go first.”
“Logic. How like a man.”
She poured more vodka into her cup. Griffith rubbed her arm and wondered how this was all going to turn out. It did seem strange that Olivia would simply leave everything for the summer. As for Ryan, God knew what trouble he was in now, what with his current girlfriend and his former girlfriend all in the same town. Maybe he would try to escape the trouble by showing up to work on time. Unlikely, but a guy could dream.
* * *
The band played for nearly an hour, although it seemed much longer what with their lack of understanding about music and staying in tune. When they were done, Griffith’s ears were ringing. He hoped the condition wasn’t permanent. He congratulated Leo and his son, then went back to the table and collected Kelly.
“That was great,” she said brightly as she tucked what was left of her vodka into her bag. “I think by the end, they were getting the hang of it.”
“I think you’re drunk.”
“Maybe. But that’s okay. I’m an adult.”
“You’re an adult who’s not driving home.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Probably not. I’ll get a ride with my dad.” She looked around, took a step, stumbled, then started to laugh.
“Okay, then.” He drew her close and started for the stage. “Let’s go find him together.”
“That’s nice.” She smiled. “Are you going to kiss me?”
There was a non sequitur. “Nope.”
“Why not? You want me as your girlfriend. That means kissing, Griffith.”
“Yes, it does and while I look forward to kissing you, I’m a firm believer in the woman being sober. Or at least not as drunk as you. Call me old-fashioned.”
“I didn’t know there would be rules.”
“There are always rules, Kelly. The trick is knowing which ones it’s okay to break.”
“I don’t break rules. I should. Maybe I’d be more like Olivia. She’s so pretty. I want to be pretty, too.”
“You are.”
“You’re just saying that for the sex, but it’s still nice. Have you seen her clothes?”
“Not yet.”
“And her hair. It’s so shiny. She was wearing makeup and everything. Plus, she has boobs. I never got mine.”
His lips twitched. “You are so going to regret this conversation in the morning. When you get home, drink a lot of water.”
“I’m perfectly fine.”
“You say that now. Come on. Let’s go find your dad.”
7
Olivia’s bravado had lasted through the three-day drive up from Phoenix and walking into the house where she’d grown up. But as the evening progressed, it had slowly faded until now she was left with nothing but a gnawing sense of not belonging anywhere.
She walked through the empty house, trying to find some connection to her past. Funny how she’d assumed the old place would feel like home. It was where she’d grown up, but whatever part of her had been left behind must have gotten swept up with the dust.
The living room was different. New furniture and a bigger TV. The layout was all wrong, but that wasn’t her problem. The kitchen had been remodeled, as well. Whoever had done the design had used the space well and in the day there would be plenty of light.
Her bedroom was exactly as it had been. The same pale lavender walls, the books and yearbooks in the bookcase. She recognized the stuffed animals, but felt no need to hold them close. They were cute and all, but no longer a part of her.
Tucked into the big mirror over her dresser were several photos of her with friends. She looked impossibly young, with horrible makeup and hair. Thank goodness she’d learned how to make the most of what she had. Unlike her sister, who was determined to be as low-maintenance as possible, as if that were a point of pride. Olivia had already spotted her bargain shampoo-and-conditioner 2-in-1 bottle in the shower, along with a bar of generic unscented soap.
There were no lotions on the counter, no hint of makeup had ever been allowed past the hallowed doorway. Kelly was odd, but then they’d always been so incredibly different. She wondered how much of that was personality and how much of it was how they were raised.
She sat on the edge of the bed and tried to figure out if she could really stay here. And if she didn’t, where on earth would she go? Her dad had been happy to see her, which was nice. Kelly had just looked shocked and panicked and why not? They were strangers.
She tried to remember the last time she’d seen her sister and couldn’t. She and her dad had met up in San Francisco three years ago. Before that, he’d come to her graduation from Arizona State University. Marilee hadn’t—she’d gone on a cruise instead.
Olivia fingered the hideous floral bedspread, then stood and crossed to the mirror. Tucked in the corner was an old picture of her with her sister. Kelly didn’t look all that different from how she did now. In the photo, they were laughing together, as if they’d just shared a joke. As if they liked each other.
Olivia knew that at one point they had. They’d been close when they’d been younger, but after Marilee had run off, everything had changed and then Olivia had been sent away.
That part of her past was a blur. One second she’d been a diva in her high school and the next she’d been flying to an all-girls boarding school in Colorado. It had been mid-semester, when the cliques had already been established and no one gave a shit about the new girl.
She’d been so scared, so hurt. That first spring break, she’d refused to go home, out of spite. When someone had invited her home for the summer, she’d accepted, mostly to punish Kelly and their dad. She’d waited for them to call and beg her to come back, to be with them...only they never had.
She tossed the picture onto the dresser and stared at herself. She willed any hint of weakness from her eyes and squared her shoulders. She’d come a long way from that frightened teenager, abandoned by both her parents. She wasn’t going to let anyone control her destiny ever again. She was strong and in charge. If she wasn’t sure if coming home for the summer was a good idea, then she was going to damn well find out.
That decided, she went to her closet. She flipped through the dresses she’d unpacked and hung, stopping when she found a sleeveless little knit number that was exactly what she was looking for.
She touched up her makeup, fluffed her hair, then stripped down to her thong. The dress was snug, requiring her to tug and shimmy it into place. It dipped low in front and back and barely came to mid-thigh. Probably a little much for Tulpen Crossing, but she didn’t mind. Far better to cross the line than not be remembered at all.
She put on dangly earrings and several gold bangles and slipped on a pair of sandals with four-inch heels. When she was done, she stood in front of the mirror.
The dark green dress made her eyes look more hazel than brown. She checked herself from the rear, then faced front again. She adjusted her breasts to make sure they were even before pinching her nipples several times. Her nipples hardened and became clearly visible under the knit fabric.
Excellent, she thought as she reached for her small clutch. No straight guy would be able to turn away. It was just one of the tricks her mother had taught her. On the drive to the bar, she would turn the AC to frigid, ensuring plenty of nipple when she arrived. When one might be facing a battle, one had best show up armed. For her, that meant sex, or at least sexual interest. You could always control a man with his dick.
* * *
Olivia pulled into the parking lot of Candy Cane—the poorly named bar in town. Ryan had mentioned more than once he liked to hang out there with his friends.
She was already shivering from the air-conditioning, but took a second to pour cold water from a bottle on the inside of her wrists. She shuddered at the cold. Oh, yeah, this was going to be good.
She crossed the parking lot and walked into the bar. It was fairly typical with plenty of tables, a few booths and some guys playing pool in the back. The men at the bar turned to look at her. Three of them nearly fell off their stools while a fourth stared at her openmouthed. She ignored them and looked around. Tension left her when she spotted Ryan.
He stood by a large table, talking to his friends. He was tall and gorgeous, a beer in one hand. Anticipation combined with satisfaction. If all went well, they would be naked in less than thirty minutes.
As she approached the table, she felt everyone turning to look at her. She thought she recognized a couple of his friends and smiled at them. Someone said something and Ryan turned. His eyes widened and his expression turned practically feral. Oh, yeah. Starving man, meet your buffet, she thought smugly.
“Olivia? What are you doing here? I can’t believe it. Jesus, you’re stunning.”
He put down the beer and moved to her side. Dark hair, blue eyes and a dimple. Whatever more could she want?
“You’re really here,” he said.
She smiled. “I’m really here. How are you?”
“So much better now.”
He reached for her. She arched her back and watched his gaze settle on her breasts. His intake of air was audible.
“Ryan!”
The shrill single word cut through the charged moment and brought Ryan to a halt. Terror was followed by guilt, with a regret chaser. Olivia watched a pudgy blonde approach and step between them and knew her plans had just been flushed.
“Ryan, what do you think you’re doing?” the blonde asked.
“I, ah, I...” His gaze locked with Olivia’s. “This is Autumn.”
“Is it?” Olivia’s voice was cool. She looked the other woman up and down, taking in the worn, ill-fitting jeans, the unflattering too-tight top and the hair in desperate need of styling. “How unfortunate.”
Autumn raised her eyebrows. “Yes, it is unfortunate. Ryan’s with me. I don’t know who you are, but he’s with me.”
“You do keep saying that, as if we all need to be reminded.” Olivia paused. “Ryan especially.”
Autumn flushed. “Tell her to go away.”
“Autumn, she’s a friend. I’ve known her since high school.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t care.”
Olivia forced herself to smile casually. “Ryan, don’t worry about it. There’s no need to upset her. I’m going to be in town for a while. We’ll have plenty of time to...catch up.”
Autumn glared. Ryan grinned.
“I’d like that,” he said.
“I’m sure you would.”
Olivia maneuvered around Autumn, put her hand on Ryan’s chest, then kissed his cheek. As she drew back, she whispered, “Too bad, because I’m naked under this.” She smiled at a gasping Autumn. “So nice to have met you.”
“Stay away from him, you hear me?”
“Oh, honey, I’m not the one you have to explain that to.”
With that, she turned and walked to the door. A couple of guys approached, but she waved them off. She made it to her car before she began to shake. Tears burned. She willed them away as she drove back to the house.
Damn Ryan. He’d invited her here even though the bastard had a girlfriend? Okay, maybe invited was stretching things, but he’d told her he missed her and that she should come see him. She’d believed him.
Fine. If that was how he wanted to play it, game on. She had no doubt he would come crawling to her. And when he did, she was going to punish him. Not in a happy way, either. While Ryan would get the girl in the end, first he was going to have to pay. The only question was how.
* * *
Helen poured Jeff’s coffee as he sat at the counter. She did her best to wrap her mind around his news. Not only the shock of his youngest daughter’s return, but the fact that Kelly hadn’t called and told her.
“I never thought she’d come home,” he said. “I know it’s just for the summer, but still. She’s here.” He looked around. “I wanted to bring her this morning, but she was still asleep.”
“It’s 5:45 in the morning. Most people are.” She studied him. “I can’t tell if you’re happy or not,” she admitted.
He looked at her. “I’m happy. Of course I am. She’s my daughter.” He dropped his gaze. “I sent her away, Helen. I sent my own daughter to boarding school when she was fifteen. I can never forgive myself for that.”
She glanced at the clock and saw they only had a few minutes until her early regulars started showing up. She sat on the stool next to his.
“It’s not as if you got tired of her and wanted her out of the way. She’s not a puppy you returned to the pound.”
He shrugged. “Maybe, but still.” He turned so he was facing her. “I was terrified she was going to turn out like her mother. Marilee had always kept her close and after she left, Olivia was lost. I could see it, but didn’t know what to do. I tried, but hell, I’m sure I failed her a dozen ways to Sunday. As she got older, I could see more and more of Marilee in her. I told myself I was making the right decision, but sometimes I wonder if I took the easy way out instead.”
Every now and then she told herself the only solution to her problem was to fall out of love with Jeff. To figure out his flaws and focus on them. And then he went and did something like admitting his faults and regretting them. Because so many people ignored what was wrong. So many people simply pretended they were always right and everyone else screwed up.
“You wanted what was best for your daughter,” she pointed out.
“I sent her away.”
“You sent her to a well-respected school where she was able to be with girls her own age and grow.”
“I sent her away.”
“Yes, you did and saying that over and over again doesn’t change what happened. If you really believe you were wrong, tell her and apologize. If you made the best decision you could under the circumstances, then get over it.”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “That’s telling me.”
“I didn’t have a choice. You were turning into a girl.”
He chuckled. “You always surprise me, Helen. And I mean that in a good way. You’re smart, you’re determined, you speak your mind. When your ex cheated on you, you booted him out on his ass. I admire that. I should have done the same thing with Marilee. Instead I put up with her ways for years. What lesson did that teach my girls?”
“At least you got married for a fairly noble reason.”
“Because I knocked her up?”
“You know what I mean. You did the right thing. I can’t even say I did that.”
“Why did you marry Troy?” He held up a hand. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that. You were in love with him.”
She stared into Jeff’s brown eyes and knew she had to come clean. If not for him, then for herself. To say the truth aloud meant it wouldn’t have power over her anymore.
“He was the first person to say he loved me after my parents died. No one else ever had. I’m sure my aunt and uncle cared about me, but they weren’t the type to say the words.”
“Helen.”
His tone was gentle and caring. For a second she thought he was going to reach for her, but there was only the single word. Alas.
“They weren’t bad people,” she continued. “But it made me sad, so when he said he loved me, I married him.” She grimaced. “And then he cheated, so I threw him out.” She held up a hand. “I take that back. The first time, I gave him a chance. The second time, I threw him out.”
“Admirable.”
Before she could say anything else, the front door opened and a couple of customers walked in. Helen felt the tenuous connection between her and Jeff snap as she rose to greet them.
Customers were seated, orders taken. She poured coffee and chatted and before she knew it, Jeff was waving goodbye. She gave him a quick smile as she went to pick up several breakfasts.
The work was familiar, she thought, and all she’d known for years. Funny how she hadn’t planned to stay in Tulpen Crossing. She’d saved like crazy for college, thinking she would get her degree and leave town. She’d been considering nursing—the kind of skill that meant she could get a job anywhere and always support herself. Because that was important. Her parents had died broke, leaving her little more than memories and a piano. Her aunt and uncle had made it clear that once she turned eighteen she was on her own. If she wanted to continue to work at the diner, then she could still live with them. Otherwise, she was expected to leave.
She’d chosen the most sensible path—working full-time at the diner and taking classes at Skagit Valley College, all the while saving every penny she could for when she transferred to a four-year college. She’d met Troy her second quarter. They’d started dating and somehow she hadn’t had the time for her third quarter. An embarrassing truth, but there it was.
Instead she’d told herself she was in love and had accepted his proposal. They’d moved in together, had a small wedding and life had gone on with her working at the diner. Dreams of leaving town had been put on hold. After the divorce, she’d been too hurt and embarrassed to do much more than get through her day. And just when she’d been thinking of going back to college, her uncle had suffered his first stroke.
While he’d recovered from that, his second stroke had left him much more debilitated. Her aunt had offered to sell her the diner at a reasonable price. Helen had spent two weeks considering her options before coming to the realization that she had nowhere else to go. No family, no connections. Everyone she knew in the world lived in Tulpen Crossing. Ironically, Troy had left town after the divorce.