- -
- 100%
- +
“Ready to go shopping?” she asked.
He raised his head, then smiled when he saw her. That same smile that made her feel sixteen and awkward. It also did funny things to her stomach and her knees, which she didn’t remember from high school. Oh, Tanner Malone was a deadly combination of male beauty and charm, but she was fairly immune. At thirty-two, no man had really captured her attention and there was no reason to think anyone was going to do that now.
“Kelly,” he said, his voice pleased. “Thanks for meeting me here. I had some paperwork to finish up.”
“It wasn’t a problem. I had something I wanted to get before we went shopping anyway.”
His gaze dropped to the bag she carried. “Generally I like unexpected presents, but this time I’m not so sure.”
“Don’t be scared. It’s not going to bite you.” She set the package on his desk, then waited while he pulled out the book.
“‘What To Expect The First Year,”’ he read. “It’s really thick.”
“Yes, but there are a lot of pictures and a ton of valuable information. Everything you’ll need to know to survive those first twelve months.” She pointed to a slip of paper sticking out the top of the book. “I’ve marked the pages that talk about buying for a baby.”
Tanner opened the book. His expression shifted quickly from stunned surprise to amazement to shock. “This list is longer than all the material requisitions for the entire hospital wing.”
She grinned. “Not quite. But babies need a lot of stuff. How’s the balance on your credit card?”
He flipped the pages, shaking his head slowly. “They’re all fine. I pay them off each month and they have big limits.”
“Oh, good. You’re going to be needing that.”
“I can tell.”
He rose to his feet and grabbed his jacket and a hard hat from two nails sticking out of the wall, then took the book. “I guess we’d better get started.” He looked shell-shocked.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. I’m just trying not to think about it too much. If I let myself dwell on the fact that this time tomorrow I’m going to have a baby in my house, I might be tempted to head for the hills.”
“You’ll be fine. Just take things one step at a time.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re a doctor.” He followed her back to the entrance, where they both dropped off their hats. “I guess we should take my car,” he said as they walked through the hospital. “I drive an Explorer, so there will be plenty of space for furniture.”
“Good idea.” She didn’t dare tell him that she doubted they would fit everything in his sports utility vehicle in just one trip.
Tanner shrugged into his jacket, then held the door open for her. He was parked in the main parking lot, which had been recently enlarged as part of the new project.
“I appreciate you helping me with this,” he said, leading the way to a black Explorer. “I’m sure you’re very busy and it’s nice of you to give up your time.”
“I’m glad to help,” she said sincerely. “Most parents have several months to get used to the idea of having a baby around. They take classes, talk to other parents, buy slowly. You’re going from zero to sixty in less than twenty-four hours. It’s a daunting concept.”
He flashed her a grin. “So you’re trying to tell me that it’s okay to be terrified?”
“You wouldn’t be normal if you weren’t. But I have every confidence in you.” Which she did, she thought with some surprise as he unlocked the passenger door and held it open for her.
She stepped up into the well-used, but clean vehicle. Her skirt rode up slightly on her leg and she had to resist the urge to cover her thighs with her hands. Like Tanner was even looking, she thought.
Even as she tried to casually glance at him, he was closing the door and heading to the driver’s side. So much for bowling him over with her feminine charms, she thought humorously. So what if the man made her body react in ways it hadn’t before. All that meant was that she wasn’t dead. She should enjoy the occasional flickers and sparks. Feeling them didn’t mean she had to do anything about them.
He backed out of the space, then drove toward the exit. “Which way?”
“Do you know the big electronics store on the corner of Green’s Way and Carson?”
“Sure.”
“There’s a place called Baby Town in the same shopping center.”
He glanced at her and frowned. “Are you sure? I’ve never noticed it.”
“I’m not surprised. We only see what’s important to us at the time. You probably never noticed the designer outlet beside the electronics store, while I didn’t know there was a sporting goods store there until I called for directions and they told me the baby store was next to it.”
“Gotcha,” he said, then concentrated on his driving.
Kelly leaned back in the seat and tried not to stare at her companion. Why was he so intriguing? Was it because he was about to take on a daunting task? Or was it more simple—had she just gotten tired of being on her own? She couldn’t remember her last date. Certainly she hadn’t been out with a man since she’d moved to Honeygrove and that was three years ago. Talk about pathetic.
“I talked to Ronni today,” Tanner said, interrupting her thoughts. “She said you’d called her.”
Kelly pressed her lips together, not sure if she should apologize for that. Before she could decide, Tanner continued.
“I appreciate that you wanted to check me out. I’m an unknown to you, some construction worker who suddenly wants to keep his kid. You’re concerned about the baby’s welfare. Thanks for that.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you understand why I did it.”
“Sure. You want to make sure I’m decent father material.” His mouth twisted down. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’ll give it my best shot. Of course Ronni didn’t help things.”
“What do you mean?” She couldn’t imagine her friend being difficult.
“The good news is that she said she would be happy to be the baby’s pediatrician. That’s a relief. I mean Ronni’s going to be in the family and everything. Once she marries Ryan at the end of the month, I’ll even know how to get her at home.” He grinned, then the smile faded. “It was the rest of what she said that scared me. She says she knows a couple of great baby nurses. Aren’t babies too small to need their own nurse?”
“It’s because they are small they have a nurse.”
“Yeah, well, that’s what Ronni said. She pointed out what we already talked about—that I can’t put her in day care for a while and that I have to be at work, so a baby nurse is a good solution. In a few weeks I can look into home day care until she’s old enough for a regular place. I’ve even been thinking of getting a college kid or someone like that to look after her at my office. Not the one at the hospital,” he said. “I meant after the project’s done. There’s room and I’d see her more.”
Kelly impulsively touched Tanner’s arm. “I know it seems overwhelming right now, but you’re taking things one step at a time. That’s what’s important. The baby nurse is a great idea. It will give you some space to make other decisions. As for bringing your child to work—I think it’s terrific that you want to.”
“Yeah?” He looked at her briefly, before returning his attention to the road. “I guess. Ryan told me that Lily said she’d be available in a pinch. Lily is Ryan’s mother-in-law.” He frowned. “Is that right? Her daughter was Ryan’s first wife. When Patricia died, Lily moved in to help with the kids. She’s still there and plans to stay. Anyway, she said she’s happy to help out, but I figure she’s got her hands full with Ryan’s three. Plus Ronni’s pregnant, so that’s going to make four kids.”
He pulled into the parking lot. “I wish I could take time off work, but with the hospital wing still behind schedule, it’s not possible.” He stomped on the brakes and swore under his breath. “I’ve never seen that before. And it’s huge.”
Kelly glanced out the window and saw the Baby Town store. Pastel blocks, the size of trucks, stood above the entrance. Teddy bears and rabbits tumbled and marched across the painted windows.
After parking the car, he stopped the engine, but didn’t get out right away. “I spoke to Lucy,” he said. “She’s going to sign off on the kid. She doesn’t want to be involved. I know the relationship was a mistake, but I’m kind of surprised she’s just going to walk away. It’s not that she can do it so much as it seems like it’s going to be easy for her.”
Kelly didn’t know what to say to that. After all, she’d given up a child, too. But for her, it had been anything but easy. In fact the pain continued to haunt her, fifteen years after the fact. “Not every woman finds it easy to walk away.”
“Probably,” he agreed. He looked at her. “Listen to me. This is the most I’ve talked in a month. I’m sorry for dumping it all on you.”
“Tanner, don’t apologize,” she told him. “Really. I’m happy to listen. You’re working through a lot, and in my opinion, you’re incredibly calm.”
“That’s on the outside.”
“In time you’ll be calm on the inside, too. You and your daughter will get used to each other. You’ll develop a relationship with rituals that will be so meaningful, you won’t be able to imagine what life was like without her. I’m happy to be a part of this.”
“I have this bad feeling that the only reason I’m going forward with this is that I don’t have a clue as to how hard it’s going to be.”
Kelly couldn’t help laughing. “Unfortunately, you’re exactly right.”
This was hell, Tanner thought grimly from his place in the center of the store. Hell with miniature furniture and too many cutesy, fuzzy things. He looked around and spotted Kelly talking to one of the salespeople. The older woman was nodding and typing information into a computer.
Not knowing what else to do, he glanced at a display of quilts. They were small, about four feet by three feet. He turned over the price tag and took a step back. Six hundred dollars? He peered at the quilt again, trying to figure out why on earth it cost so much. Jeez. Six hundred dollars. He thought about the list in the book and swallowed hard. Kelly hadn’t been kidding about his credit limit. He wondered if it was going to be enough.
“Okay, here’s the plan,” Kelly said, coming to stand next to him. “I had the store—What’s wrong? You’re practically green.”
He pointed to the quilt. “It’s six hundred dollars. If a scrap of cloth costs that, how much is a crib?”
She looked from him to the quilt, then fingered the cream colored lace and read the tag. When she returned her attention to him, humor danced in her hazel brown eyes. “Don’t panic, big boy. That’s a handmade quilt, covered with imported lace. They’re a one of a kind item, and not for the likes of us.”
He breathed a sigh of relief.
“Besides,” she added casually, “babies spit up on just about everything, so it’s better to have bedding you can just throw in the washer.”
Her words planted an image in Tanner’s brain that made him uncomfortable. “How much do they spit up?”
“Don’t worry about that now,” Kelly said. She waved a long computer printout in front of him. “This is a basic baby registry. It lists every possible item a baby could use. Between that and the list in the book, we’ll be sure to remember the important stuff. This second list tells us what’s in stock. There’s no point in falling in love with a crib or dresser only to find out it’s not available.”
“I don’t generally fall for furniture,” Tanner muttered, but Kelly wasn’t listening.
“Let’s start with the big stuff,” she said. “Crib, stroller, car seat, changing table, dresser, maybe a couple of mobiles. Then we’ll move onto linens, bath stuff and clothes.” She tapped the list. “You’ll want some kind of portable crib, as well, so you can take her to a baby-sitter, or even to work. They have some that turn into playpens for when they’re older.”
Tanner could only nod as he tried to take in what she was saying. He felt as if he’d entered a strange and frightening new world and he wondered if it was too late to go back.
“Furniture,” Kelly said, pointing to the large display on the far side of the store.
He followed her down an aisle crammed with car seats and wondered how on earth he was going to pick one. Maybe he should have asked Ryan to come along. He knew about this kind of stuff. But it hadn’t occurred to Tanner that buying a kid a bed or a car seat was going to be complicated.
“How big is the room?” Kelly asked. “And is there furniture in there now? Do we have to work around anything?”
Tanner shook his head. “I have a guest room, but it’s not furnished. It’s about twelve by fourteen, with a big closet.”
“Okay, so size isn’t an issue. Basically all cribs serve the same function. These are all new and look well-made. The important factors are the height of the mattress when it’s all the way up, and the spacing of the rails. So pick what you like and then we’ll check for the safety features. I’m guessing all of them are going to comply with safety recommendations.”
Pick what he liked? He looked at the various displays. Many were set up to look like individual rooms. There were dividers covered with wallpaper and border prints, cribs filled with ruffled comforters and too many stuffed animals for any man to be comfortable. He found himself stepping around fuzzy bears and pink elephants. There were tigers and lions, fluffy kittens, puppies and some creatures of undetermined species.
He glanced from the displays to Kelly and back. The cribs all looked the same to him. Too-small beds with guard rails. The dressers were almost normal looking.
“What kind of wood do you like?” Kelly asked, coming to his rescue. “Light or dark. Or would you prefer something painted?”
She stood next to him, looking patient and completely comfortable. Was this a chick thing? Did all women have the baby gene, or was she relaxed because part of her job was bringing infants into the world?
He allowed himself a moment to appreciate the way the overhead lights played on her medium blond hair. It fell to about the middle of her back and she’d pulled it into a neat, but fancy braid. Bangs hung down to her eyebrows, but in a soft, sexy way that made him think about wanting—
Down boy, he told himself. He didn’t have time to get distracted. His life was one big crisis right now and he didn’t have room to add attraction to a female doctor to his list.
“I don’t know what she’d like,” he said. “You used to be a little girl. What would have made you happy?”
“I’m not sure babies have strong opinions on furniture, but I’ll give it a try.” Kelly turned in a circle, then pointed to a display of white furniture.
They moved to that aisle. While Kelly read the tag and made sure the rails were the right distance apart—or whatever—he checked the construction, the quality of wood used and made sure there were no sharp edges.
“I like it,” she said. “What do you think?”
He shrugged. He wouldn’t have picked white as his first choice, but then his first choice wasn’t being here, either. “It’s fine.”
But she wasn’t listening. Instead her face had taken on an expression of such tenderness, Tanner felt his blood heat up about ten degrees. Then he noticed that her longing gaze wasn’t directed at him, but instead focused on a comforter in the next display. He stared at it, blinked twice and bit back a groan.
If he’d given a second’s thought to decorating a child’s room, he would have pictured primary colors, or building blocks, or maybe even a train. But that’s not what had caught Kelly’s eye. She’d been transfixed by a pink-and-white comforter decorated with a teddy bear in a ballerina get-up.
“It’s darling,” she said, taking his sleeve and tugging. “Don’t you love it?” She pulled him toward the display. “They have the comforter and linens and bumper pads. Oh, look, there’s a diaper stacker. I’ll bet there’s a border print for the walls and even a valance for the window. You could…”
Her voice trailed off. She released his sleeve and nodded. “You hate it.”
Hate implied an emotional energy he wasn’t willing to commit to ballerina teddy bears. Kelly was a woman. She’d once been a little girl. Therefore her taste had to be better than his. With any luck, the pattern would fade in the wash.
“It’s fine,” he said. “Let’s get it. What’s next on the list?”
“But Tanner, you don’t think it’s cute. We can pick something else.”
He looked at her and found himself intrigued by her height. In her heels, she was only about an inch shorter than him. He’d generally gone in for the petite types, but there was something to be said for looking a woman dead in the eye without having to tilt his head.
“Kelly, this is fine. I’m sure she’ll adore it.”
By this time, the sales clerk had joined them. She was a middle-aged woman with a cheerful smile. By the way she kept out of the discussion Tanner suspected she’d heard more then her share of arguments over baby accessories.
“If you’re sure,” Kelly said, and turned to her. “All right. The white crib, the four-drawer dresser, and the three-drawer changing table. Then this bedding set with the diaper stacker.” She paused. “We can worry about the wallpaper another time.”
Like never, he thought, trying not to picture a wall covered with ballerina teddy bears. The three of them moved on.
They spent nearly thirty minutes in a discussion about car seats before they all agreed on one. Then they chose a mattress, crib pads, receiving blankets—although he didn’t know what they were going to receive—towels with hoods, a stroller and dozens of things he couldn’t recognize. Tanner surprised them and himself by insisting on a mobile of fuzzy animals, of which his favorite was the lion, and a matching wall hanging.
When they moved onto baby clothing, he told himself not to watch as Kelly chose tiny shirts and nighties and wrap, sleeper things with and without feet. The store clerk carried armloads over to the cash register, then returned for more. They even bought a diaper bag, which Tanner could not imagine having to carry through the construction site. When they reached the stage of discussing bottles for feeding and the best brand of diapers, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He touched Kelly’s arm.
“Could I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.
“Sure.” She excused them from the clerk and led him to a corner of the store. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t do this,” he said. “You’re buying bottles and I don’t know how to physically feed her. Or how much. Or how warm it’s supposed to be.” He could hear the sharp edge to his voice, but didn’t think he could control it.
Kelly looked at him for a long time, then reached in her purse for her cell phone. Tanner panicked. Was she calling the hospital to tell them he couldn’t be trusted with his own child?
“Ronni, hi, it’s me. I’m with Tanner at the baby store.” She paused, then smiled. “Oh, he’s definitely having a dose of reality and he’s looking longingly at the door. But he’ll be fine. Tomorrow, when you drop by Tanner’s to give him the diaper changing lesson, could you also teach him about feeding and anything else he might need? You know, the first-time parent baby lesson.” She paused again, then smiled. “Clueless is a strong term, but in this case appropriate. I’ll let him know. Thanks. Bye.”
She hung up. “That was your sister-in-law to-be.”
“I guessed that.” He was going to complain that he wasn’t clueless, but unfortunately he was. It was pretty sad.
“Ronni’s going to phone the hospital and arrange for them to keep Baby Malone until early afternoon. Ronni and Ryan will come over to your place in the morning. Ryan will help with whatever furniture isn’t finished and Ronni will take you through the basics.”
Some of the tension in his chest eased. “That’s great.”
“And as I already promised, I’m available this weekend.” She pointed to the impressive pile by the cash register. “All that isn’t going to fit in your car. I suggest we take home as much as we can, starting with the biggest things. I’ll swing by tomorrow and get the rest of it.”
He didn’t know what to say to her. Part of him wanted to explain that while her offer was really nice, he didn’t want to put her out. But that was a very small part of his brain. The rest was doing a cheer in relief.
“Thanks,” he said. “I don’t want to think about spending that first afternoon with her by myself.”
“You won’t.”
He studied her face. She was pretty enough, but not a beauty. Not at all the normal kind of woman who caught his eye. “Why are you doing this?” he asked.
“Because I want to,” she said easily. “I think you and your daughter deserve a fighting chance and I want to give you that.”
“Thanks,” he told her, and had the sudden urge to give her a hug.
That would be dumb, he reminded himself. Dr. Kelly Hall wasn’t interested in him—she was concerned about the baby. As long as he remembered that, they would both be fine.
Chapter Four
It was a few minutes after eight the next morning when Kelly knocked on Tanner’s front door. She juggled to keep the two large coffees from spilling as she balanced the bag of bagels and cream cheese. She figured Tanner wouldn’t have thought to eat much in the past twenty-four hours. Certainly neither of them had eaten dinner the night before.
She heard footsteps from inside the two story house, then he opened the door.
“Morning,” he said.
Kelly could barely manage a squeak in response. He’d obviously been up most of the night. There were dark shadows under his eyes and his expression was slightly dazed. But he’d showered that morning. His strong jaw was freshly shaved and the dampness in his hair only added sheen where the light reflected on the thick dark layers.
His clothing wasn’t all that much different than it had been the day before. A soft-looking, worn sweatshirt replaced the long sleeved shirt he’d had on the previous day, but he still wore jeans and boots, although today the latter were cowboy, instead of reinforced work boots.
“Morning,” she managed on her second attempt to speak. “You look tired. Did you sleep at all?”
He shrugged. Big, muscled shoulders made a casual male movement. It shouldn’t have affected her heart rate, but it did. Her palms got a little damp, too, and she had to worry about the coffee slipping and falling.
“A couple of hours. Mostly I just worked and worried.” He motioned for her to come into the house.
“You’ll be fine,” she said, handing him a cup of coffee as she entered. “It’s not as if you’re going to be on your own. Ronni is going to come by and give you that lesson in basic baby care and I’ll be right here.” She smiled. “Although I do have to warn you I have a couple of patients ready to go into labor. I’m caught in one of those cycles. Currently over two-thirds of my practice is in various stages of pregnancy. I have twelve due in the next four weeks, if you can believe it.”
He glanced at the pager she’d clipped to the waistband of her jeans. Some of the worry left his eyes. “I have one of those too, but when it goes off, it’s just a building crisis. Not one about giving birth.”
“Such are the differences in our professions.” She handed him the bag. “Bagels. Did you eat last night?”
He shook his head.
“I figured you wouldn’t. Men get upset and they stop eating. Most women go in the other direction. I know during finals there were semesters when I felt like I was chowing my way through the entire candy aisle of the student union.”
His gaze brushed over her body before returning to her face. “You’d never know it.”
“That’s because I’m tall.” After a moment of relaxing, she found herself getting nervous again. It was all this body talk. She didn’t know how to handle it. For as long as she could remember, her body had been merely functional. She didn’t think of herself as especially feminine and certainly not sexy. But around Tanner, she remembered she was a woman and she enjoyed the fact.
“I spoke to the hospital this morning,” she said briskly, to change the subject. “Your daughter had a great night. She’s sleeping well, taking formula with no problem and she’ll be released any time after noon. You just have to go pick her up.”