Mind Over Clutter

My Journey

My name is Nicola Lewis. I’m 44, married to Graham and mum to two fabulous daughters, Amelia and Francesca, who are my absolute world.

I grew up in Walthamstow, in east London, but I now live in a village in rural west Essex, and I just adore my life. I love music and lip syncing (ha ha!), kindness and having fun, and living every single day to the full. But what I’m really passionate about – and what makes me tick – is organising and decluttering. In fact, I enjoy it so much that I’ve made it my business and my life’s mission. And now I want to help you transform your life too and enjoy all the benefits that decluttering brings. Because This Girl Can Organise (TGCO) is all about getting stuff done – with a big smile on your face.

It all started eighteen years ago when I got my first job as an FX (foreign exchange) assistant working for an investment bank in London. I was literally over the moon and loved the idea of being a ‘working girl’, just like Melanie Griffith in the movie of the same name. I wanted the tailored suits and designer bags, the big hair, to be independent, earn my own money and, of course, have fun in all the clubs and bars. My career and salary grew over the years and I was proud to work for some of the biggest investment banks in the City of London.

However, it wasn’t all plain sailing and I encountered a few storms along the way, especially when my first daughter was born. Don’t get me wrong, my career was really important to me, but so was becoming a mum and all the changes that brings. Like most first-time mothers, I wasn’t prepared for this transition, and not only were the back-handed comments from some of my colleagues after I returned to work hard to digest, they also made it difficult for me to focus. Holding down a full-time job while being a parent is never easy and it was probably one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever had to face. It was painful and I felt constantly guilty, trying to do the right thing and please everyone, which in reality was never enough, while constantly comparing myself to others. And although everything appeared to be OK on the outside, inside I was hurting.

The worst thing was that there was nobody I could confide in. I worried that if I talked honestly to people about what I was experiencing, I’d be labelled ‘weak’ and ‘overemotional’ and would be penalised accordingly.

I remember how, on some days, I would head into work feeling really positive, fresh and raring to go, only to find within minutes of arriving in the office that I had to choose between my career and my family. I felt guilty about leaving my family at home, but nobody really cared if you had a child in nursery or you’d snatched just four hours’ sleep the night before – you just had to put on a brave face, carry on, accept your lot and be thankful that at least you had a good job. Even now it makes me feel sad writing this part of my story, and I wish I could go back in time and tell the young mum I was then that there was no need to worry and it would all turn out OK. However, I guess we all have to ride these emotions at some point in our lives.

Those first few years were very tough, and I felt as though I was slowly losing my identity and sense of fun. Every morning I would sit on the train on my way to work, writing lists and schedules. This enabled me to get everything out of my head on to paper and to plan ahead for the week, the month and even the year – anything just to help me smile, feel better about myself and give me something to look forward to. Inside, I felt trapped and I knew there had to be a better way to live, but my husband had just changed careers and was starting off as a freelancer in the entertainment industry and we desperately needed my salary to pay the mortgage and the bills. I felt that I had to make some sacrifices to help build a secure future for my family.

After the birth of my second daughter, I decided it was time for a change. I needed something new and exciting – something I would enjoy doing. So I swapped my old full-time job for a completely different part-time one as Ground VIP Customer Service Assistant for Harrods Aviation at Stansted Airport, looking after private and HNWI (high-net worth individual) clients. Yes, it was a bit random and involved a huge drop in my salary, but this career step was all about being happy and moving towards what the real me was interested in. So, I transferred my skill set from working on bustling trading floors to busy runways for the rich and famous.

For three years I enjoyed my work and had a lot of fun. I really loved meeting new people, being super-organised, professional and smart. Then one day I was approached by an old work colleague and offered a position at an investment bank in Canary Wharf with a big pay cheque and flexible hours. And it was part-time. The dream job, right? Well, actually, wrong. The moment I walked back into that open-plan office I knew I’d made a huge mistake. Yes, I had the right experience and qualifications, but I didn’t have the passion or the drive. I was on autopilot, doing the job robotically, adhering to the bank’s rules and regulations, and feeling miserable. What had I done?

I stayed for nearly two years and gave it my best shot. I kept trying to persuade myself that there was a place for me there and that’s why I’d come back, but I guess I hadn’t figured out what I really was good at and where my real talents lay. And that’s the way it stayed until one blessed day when my whole team was called into the office – senior management and HR (human resources) at one end and the rest of us at the other – and it was announced that in December 2016 we would all be made redundant as our jobs were going overseas to India. And that was it! Strangely, I felt quite calm. It was almost a relief and I remember thinking to myself: this is God’s plan; this is your time, Nicola, to really do something for you. You need to be happy and this is your opportunity to earn money doing what you love. I’d always told my children that we should only do what makes us happy and had never listened to my own advice, but now the time had come.

I felt liberated walking out of Canary Wharf that day and into the future. I was so excited to be leaving – finally, to have the opportunity to do something new and totally different. And although I hadn’t a clue what that ‘something’ was, I knew that working in the City wasn’t my scene and I needed a change. In my 20s it had all been about ambition, achievement and keeping up appearances, but it wasn’t a healthy way to live. Now I had a family and I needed a better work/life balance. It’s not always about the money and how we perceive worldly and material success. The time had arrived for me to be happy about my own life and to find out who I really was. I truly believe it was written in the stars. And since then, I’ve never looked back.

Taking Control

It took a while for me to find my niche, to work out what I was going to do and how to go about it. I kept asking myself: ‘What am I good at? What do I enjoy doing?’ My husband suggested that as I loved organising things so much, why didn’t I Google what’s out there? I wanted to find something I really loved, and I knew I’d found it when I stumbled across an American website called The Home Edit, set up by two women who got paid to go out and help people organise their homes. Eureka! For years, whenever I used to pop round to friends, they would ask for advice on what they could do to improve their homes and, before I knew it, I was decluttering and organising them to create a better and happier living space. I loved doing it, but hadn’t realised that it could be a real job.

When that day eventually dawned, it was a game changer. Now I knew this was something I could do well, in my own style – and make people happy. I knew that to take control of my life I needed to set up my own business and be my own boss. I wanted to create something that could help busy people who haven’t the time or inclination to declutter by themselves, and so I set up my own website, blog and Instagram account on social media to motivate and inspire others, featuring real-life examples and case histories, complete with ‘before-and-after’ photos and practical advice and tips.

This Girl Can Organise was founded in April 2017 because I believed in myself, my skill set and my passion for organising and decluttering. It has grown and flourished and now, for the first time in my life, I feel in control. I love my work, running my business and helping other people to feel happier about their lives. And I have more time to devote to my own family and home too – I don’t have to feel guilty any more. After all these years, I can finally feel good about myself and be myself. Every morning I wake up thinking: I can do this; and, what’s more, I can have fun doing it.

Before I knew it, I was decluttering and organising to create a better and happier living space.

My Passions

Organising is my big passion. Even when I was a little girl, I loved to arrange things. I guess I inherited my recycling and ‘make-do’ skills from my nan, Lottie, and my organising and life skills from my mum and dad, Valerie and Terry.

My nan was a huge part of my life. Flamboyant, bubbly, generous and kind, she donated and recycled tirelessly in her local community. She understood the needs and hardships of raising a family and was always thinking of others less fortunate than herself. Growing up, I would look up to her with such admiration. She showed me life’s ‘how-to-dos’ with smiles and laughter. Her catch phrases were ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’ and ‘make do and mend’. A stay-at-home mother, she raised six children on a tight budget and always kept an eye out for a bargain when she was shopping in the local markets. She was a great multi-tasker and just thinking about her still makes me smile. Not a day goes by without me missing her.

My mother, so caring and thoughtful, is the queen of organising, and I’ve learned so much from her. She loves to upcycle and donate, and this has made a huge impact on me and how I live my own life. While I was writing this book, I asked my parents whether I was always this organised and they both said, ‘Yes, if it was on your terms!’ They never had to tell me twice to clear up my room, as I always liked it to be neat and tidy. I’d play with my post office set or Barbie dolls and would always put them away inside their boxes because that was where they belonged. I guess it was all down to respect for my environment and being in my happy place.

I grew up in a tidy home, which was filled with love, and every Sunday from the age of 10 my sister and I helped our parents with household chores. We would clean or tidy our bedrooms, get out our school clothes and lay the table for dinner. My dad always took us to the park or swimming every Sunday morning so my mum could get her chores done and cook the dinner in peace – I only understand now as a mother how amazing that must have felt. Ha, ha! Both our parents worked while we were growing up, but they were always there for us. We had a routine for work, school and after-school activities and we all supported each other.

Although we didn’t have masses of toys like children do today, and there certainly wasn’t a special designated playroom, my sister and I were encouraged to be creative and to play anywhere. I loved reading books and writing in diaries, playing outside for hours on end and dancing and acting at my local stage school. I wasn’t brought up with lots of material possessions, just what made me happy, and maybe this is where my passion for decluttering comes from. I believe that most of us have too much stuff; less really is more.

I’m also passionate about sustainability and the environment and I want my children to grow up in a better world where we preserve our natural resources, reduce the impact of global warming and enjoy cleaner air and water. Climate change is the biggest issue of our time, and while you might think that individually you can’t make a difference, even tiny changes in your lifestyle can help.

Most of us have too much stuff; less really is more.

Living in a kinder, more thoughtful way is a good place to start and I try to do this in my own life. As a family, we’ve taken practical steps in our home to be more eco-friendly and to live our lives more sustainably. I buy smart and use environmentally friendly cleaning products that don’t contain harsh chemicals, or I make my own with natural ingredients, such as essential oils, lemons, bicarbonate of soda and vinegar (see Chapter 3). I also recycle as much as possible, wage war on plastic and upcycle lots of common household items to give them a new, useful life (see Chapter 4).

My Mission

Since starting my business, I’ve discovered my mission and my joy. I’d like to do some good in the world and for my career to have a sense of purpose, and I feel fortunate that I’ve met and helped so many lovely people whose lives have been transformed for the better by organising and decluttering their homes.

My blog and Instagram feed are full of helpful tips on how you can declutter, tidy, organise, recycle, upcycle, eco-clean and donate, and for a long time I’ve wanted to write it all down in a ‘go-to’ way that will help, inform and encourage people. And here it is. Packed with useful information and tips to motivate you and help you think more positively, this book will inspire you to get rid of all the clutter in your life and make it much simpler and happier.

You really can achieve anything you put your mind to. If I can do it, so can you.

10 ways to . . .

be happy and feel good

It’s easy to feel good about yourself and your life if you start counting your blessings, follow your dream and get organised. Here are some ideas to inspire you:

1.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

There is a lot of truth in the sentiment that if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. If you’re unhappy and can’t find a new job, try to shift your focus and look for the positives in your current one. At the very least, do one thing you enjoy every day.

2.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAM

Dream big. Since starting TGCO in 2017 I have had the best time! I have met loads of incredible people, made some wonderful friends and have visited homes across the UK. I really believe that if you work hard and surround yourself with your dreams, they will one day come true (so start making that vision board – see here).

3.

STAY FOCUSED AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

You are already fresh and fabulous and can achieve whatever you put your mind to. Try to stay away from negativity and never forget your goals.

4.

LIVE FOR EACH DAY

Life is short, so embrace every minute. Don’t be held back by what has happened in the past. Be fearless and look for new opportunities and experiences.

5.

GET UP EARLY

Those quiet moments in the morning are a great time to reflect on your life and what you want your day to look like. It also means you won’t have to rush, and that will immediately make you less stressed.

6.

GO FOR A WALK

Getting fresh air is a brilliant way to clear your mind and it is also a great opportunity to think and plan.

7.

HELP OTHERS

Be compassionate and empathetic. Helping others grow is the best way to help yourself grow. Volunteering is one way to do this; or start with your friends and family and those around you.

8.

SMILE

Every day is full of endless possibilities. You are in control of your attitude, so start your days with a smile and stay optimistic.

9.

PLAN A TRIP

It’s good to have something to look forward to.

10.

PRACTISE GRATITUDE

Be thankful for everything you have already. Celebrate the present and take a more active role in your life.

A person’s most useful asset is not a head full of knowledge but a heart full of love, an ear ready to listen and a hand willing to help others. I believe these are the main qualities of TGCO. Kindness is free, and it really does make the world smile.

– Anonymous Client

1: Tidy Home, Tidy Mind

I love to have a clear, clutter-free space. Getting rid of all the clutter really is transforming and helps to clear my mind as well as the room I’m in, making me feel calmer and more relaxed; so ‘tidy home, tidy mind’ makes a lot of sense to me.

Decluttering gives you more time for yourself and your family and leads to a healthier and more balanced you. And although a clean environment won’t necessarily solve all your problems, it can have an enormous impact on your emotional wellbeing and outlook and make all the difference to your life.

What is ‘Clutter’?

Clutter means different things to different people, but it’s basically all about filling a space with an untidy and chaotic collection of things. It might happen for a positive reason, such as when you’re moving house or you’re decorating or renovating, or it may build up almost imperceptibly over time. If you find that you have to move things around in your home to accomplish a simple chore, or you feel that you’re drowning in ‘stuff’ and overwhelmed by all the space it takes up, then the likelihood is that you have a clutter problem.

Clutter and Mental Health

Your surroundings can have a dramatic effect on your mood, negatively impacting on your mental health – especially if you’re stressed, under pressure or just struggling with the daily grind. Having unnecessary clutter lying around can act like a visual noise, each item potentially triggering an alarm bell in your head. The truth is that most of us have so much stuff either lying around in full view or shoved inside cupboards that it’s sometimes impossible to find what we are looking for when we want it. With so much to do – laundry to wash, meals to prepare and paperwork to organise – it’s no wonder that sometimes we feel overwhelmed when we’re faced with the endless ‘to-do’ lists of life.

Studies in the United States1 have looked at the causes of clutter and how it impacts people’s emotional wellbeing. The researchers found that cluttered homes can be stressful to live in. Yet many people avoid reorganising their things and throwing out even unused or unwanted belongings, especially if it’s time-consuming or unpleasant. Consequently, they sometimes end up living in a chaotic state, surrounded by mess, which can trigger a physiological response, usually in the form of stress and raised cortisol levels. Cortisol is the body’s main stress hormone and when it increases it can lead to a variety of health problems, such as anxiety, headaches, fatigue, insomnia, memory lapses, concentration problems and even depression. When they declutter, however, even with small steps over a period of time, people can start to feel less anxious and better about themselves.