Hot Docs On Call: Healing His Heart

CHAPTER FIVE

ALTHOUGH SEEING SIMON had come through the surgery successfully was always a relief, his aftercare never got any easier. Each stage of the treatment was often punctuated with a decline in his behaviour once they left the hospital grounds. From the moment he opened his eyes it was as if they’d taken two steps backwards instead of forward.

She’d stroked his hair, told him what a brave boy he was, promised him treats—all without the normal enthusiastic response of a child his age in return. Of course, they’d see the psychologists, who would do their best to get him to open up and help him work through the trauma, but the onus was still on her to get him past this. With a degree in child psychology herself, she really thought she’d make more progress with him. At least get him to look at her. She’d aced her written exams but the practical was killing her. Most kids would only be too glad to get out of here and go home—she knew she would be—but no amount of coaxing could get him to even acknowledge her.

When Matt strolled into the room and instantly commanded his attention she had to move away from any items which could suddenly become airborne. Although, after their dinner chat, she was able to watch their interaction through new eyes.

He’d had more experience in parenthood than her, his ease very apparent as he engaged Simon in his magic know-how. Perhaps that’s what made the difference. He was comfortable around children, whereas she’d had virtually no experience other than once being a child herself. Even then, she hadn’t socialised a great deal. Her mother had worked hard to keep a roof over their heads and often that meant missing out on playdates and birthday parties to help her at her cleaning jobs.

It could be that Simon’s unease was in direct correlation to hers and he was picking up on the what-the-hell-am-I-doing? vibes. In which case his lack of confidence in her was understandable. Unfortunately, the fostering classes she’d attended hadn’t fully equipped her to do the job. Unlike star pupil Matt, who was deep in conversation sitting on the end of Simon’s bed.

‘What’s with all of the whispering going on over there?’ She dared break up the cosy scene in an attempt to wedge herself in the middle of it.

There was more whispering, followed by a childish giggle. A sound she thought she’d never hear coming from Simon and one which threatened to start her blubbing again. She was tempted to throw a blanket over Matt’s head and snatch him home with her to keep Simon entertained.

‘Can’t tell you. It’s a secret.’ Simon giggled again, his eyes bright in the midst of the dressings covering his face.

‘Magician’s code, I’m afraid. We can’t divulge our secrets to civilians outside our secret circle.’ Matt tapped the side of his nose and Simon slapped his hand over his mouth, clearly enjoying the game.

Quinn didn’t care as long as he was talking again and having fun.

‘Hmm. As long as we’re not suddenly overrun with rabbits pulled out of hats, then I’ll just have to put up with it. Tell me, what do you have to do to be part of this prestigious group anyway?’ She perched on the bed beside Matt, getting a boost from sitting so close to him as much as from the easy-going atmosphere which had been lacking between her and Simon.

‘We’re a pretty new club so we’ll have to look into the rules and regulations. What do you say, Simon? What would it cost Quinn to join?’ Matt’s teasing was light relief now her green-eyed, monstrous alter ego had left the building. This wasn’t about one-upmanship; he was gaining Simon’s confidence and trust and gradually easing her in with him.

‘Chocolate ice cream!’ he shouted without hesitation.

‘We can do that.’ She was partial to it herself and something they could easily pick up on the way home. A small price to pay for a quiet night.

‘That should cover her joining fee…anything else?’ Matt wasn’t going to let her off so easily.

‘Umm…’ Simon took his time, milking her sympathy for all it was worth with Matt’s encouragement.

He eventually came back with ‘The zoo!’ knowing he had her over a barrel.

There was no way she could say no when they were making solid progress. Not that she was against the idea; it simply hadn’t crossed her mind that he would want to go.

‘Nice one.’ Matt high-fived his mini-conspirator and Quinn got the impression she’d walked straight into a trap.

‘A day at the zoo? I’ve never been myself, but if that’s the price I have to pay to join your club I’m in.’ It was worth it. He hadn’t expressed a desire to leave the house since the fire, unwilling to leave the shadows and venture out into the public domain, so this was a major breakthrough.

It could also turn out to be an unmitigated disaster, depending on how he interacted with other visitors. He’d already endured much staring and pointing from the general public who didn’t understand how lucky he was just to survive the injuries, but it was a risk worth taking. If things went well it could bring them closer as well as give him a confidence boost.

‘You’ve never been to the zoo?’ Matt was still staring at her over that particular revelation.

‘We never got around to it. Mum was always working weekends and holidays to pay the bills and I tagged along with her.’ It wasn’t anyone’s fault; spending time together had simply been more important than expensive days out.

‘You don’t know what you’re missing. Lions, penguins, gorillas…they’re all amazing up close.’

She couldn’t tell who was more excited, both big kids bouncing at the idea. Although she was loath to admit it, there was a fizz in her veins about sharing the experience with Simon for the first time too. As if somehow she could recapture her childhood and help him reconnect with his at the same time.

‘Matt has to come too!’ Simon tried to wedge it into the terms and conditions of the deal but he was pushing his luck now.

‘I’ve been before. This is something for you and your mum to do together.’ Matt turned and mouthed an apology to her and the penny dropped that he’d been trying to broker this deal for her benefit alone.

‘Matt has lots of other patients to treat and he’d never get any work done if he had to keep taking them all to the zoo whenever they demanded it. We’ll go, just the two of us, and make a day of it.’ Quinn could already sense him shrinking back into his shell. Negotiating with an infant was a bit like trying to juggle jelly—impossible and very messy.

‘You can take loads of photos and show me the next time you’re here.’

Bless him, Matt was doing his best to keep his spirits up but the spark in Simon had definitely gone out now he knew his favourite surgeon wasn’t involved. She knew the feeling.

‘Right, mister, it’s getting late. We need to get you dressed and take you home.’ Any further arguments or tantrums could continue there, out of Matt’s earshot. She wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’d taken extended leave the next time they were due back to see him.

‘I don’t have a home!’ Simon yelled, and single-handedly pulled the sheet up over his head, his body shaking under the covers as he sobbed.

Quinn genuinely didn’t know what to do; her own heart shattered into a million pieces at his outburst. He didn’t count her as his mum, didn’t even think of her house as a place of safety, despite everything she’d tried to do for him.

She was too numb to cry and stood open-mouthed, staring at Matt, willing him to tell her what to do next. It wasn’t as if she could leave him here until he calmed down; he was her foster child, her responsibility, and it was down to her to provide a home he’d rather be in instead of here.

The foster authorities would certainly form that opinion and it was soul-crushing to learn he’d take a hospital bed on a noisy ward over the boy-friendly bedroom she’d painstakingly decorated in anticipation of his arrival.

She’d been happy to have one parent—why couldn’t he?

‘You’re being daft now. I know for a fact you and Quinn live in the same house. I bet you’ve even got a football-themed room.’ As usual Matt was the one to coax him back out of his cotton cocoon.

‘I’ve got space stuff.’ Simon sniffed.

‘Wow! You’re one lucky wee man. I had to share a room with my sisters so it was all flowers and pink mushy stuff when I was growing up.’

‘Yuck!’

‘Yuck indeed.’ Matt gave an exaggerated shudder at the memory but it gave Quinn a snapshot of his early life, outnumbered by girls.

‘Do you wanna come see?’ He peeked his head above the cover to witness the fallout of his latest demand.

This time Matt turned to her for answers.

They were stuffed.

If she said no, she hadn’t a hope of getting Simon home without a struggle and she was too exhausted to face it. A ‘yes’ meant inviting Matt further into their personal lives and they couldn’t keep relying on him to solve their problems. He’d made it clear he didn’t want to be part of any family apart from the one he’d already raised. In her head she knew it was asking for trouble but her heart said, ‘Yes, yes, yes!’ So far, he’d been the one blazing ember of hope in the dark ashes of the fire.

She gave a noncommittal shrug, leaving the final decision with him. It was a cop out on her behalf, but if he wanted out, now was the time to do it. She was putting her faith in him but his hesitation was more comforting than it should’ve been. At least she wasn’t the only one being put on the spot and it proved some things were beyond even his control. His mind wasn’t made up one way or the other about getting further entangled in this mess and that had to be more promising than a firm no.

‘My apartment isn’t too far away… I suppose I could get my car, drop you two home and take a quick peek at your room…’ The confidence had definitely left his voice.

A five-year-old had got the better of both of them.

‘I really couldn’t ask you to—’

‘Cool!’ Simon cut off the polite refusal she was trying to make so Matt didn’t feel obligated, even though she didn’t mean it. Inside, she was happy-dancing with her foster son.

‘Well, it would save us a taxi fare.’ She folded easily. A ride home would be so much less stressful than the Tube or a black cab. As efficient as the London transport system was, it wasn’t traumatised-child-friendly. The fewer strangers Simon had to encounter straight after his surgery, the better.

‘I’ll go get the car and meet you out front in about thirty minutes. That should give you plenty of time to get ready.’ He bolted from the room as soon as she gave the green light. It was impossible to tell whether he wanted to put some distance between them as soon as possible, or whether he intended to get the job done before he changed his mind. Whatever his motives, she was eternally grateful.

For the first night in weeks, she wasn’t dreading going home.

Matt stopped swearing at himself the moment he clocked the two figures huddled at the hospital entrance waiting for him. He’d been beating himself up about getting roped into this, but seeing them clutching each other’s hands like two lost bodies in the fog, he knew he’d done the right thing. He wouldn’t have slept if he’d gone home and left Quinn wrestling a clearly agitated child into the back of a taxi. For some reason his presence was enough to diffuse the tension between the two and, as Simon’s healthcare provider, it was his duty to ease him back to normality after his surgery. Besides, it was only a lift, something he would do for any of his friends in need.

The only reason he’d hesitated was because he didn’t want people like Rebecca, or Quinn, reading too much into it. He really hadn’t been able to refuse when he’d had two sets of puppy dog eyes pleading with him to help.

‘Nice car.’ Quinn eyed his silver convertible with a smile as he pulled up.

‘A treat to myself. Although I don’t get out in it as often as I’d hoped. Much easier to walk around central London.’ It had been his one great extravagance and what might appear to some as a cliché; to him it had been a symbol of his long-awaited independence.

Yet here he was, strapping a small child into the back seat…

‘Yeah. This is made for long drives in the country with the top down.’ She ran her hand over the car’s smooth curves, more impressed than a lot of his friends who thought it was tragic attention-seeking on his part.

‘That’s the idea.’ Except now he had the image of Quinn in the passenger seat, her ash brown hair blowing in the wind, without a care in the world, he wondered if it was time he traded it in for something more practical, more sedate.

Quinn’s modest house was far enough from the hospital to make travel awkward but it had the bonus of peace and quiet. It was the perfect suburban semi for a happy family and the complete opposite of his modern bachelor pad in the heart of the city. He at least had the option of walking to PCH and did most days. Since moving to London he’d fully immersed himself in the chaos around him. Probably because he’d spent most of his years at the beck and call of his siblings, his surroundings dictated by the needs of his dependents. This kind of white picket fence existence represented a prison of sorts to him and he couldn’t wait to get back to his alternative, watch-TV-in-my-pants-if-I-want-to lifestyle.

‘You can’t get much better than a taxi straight to your door.’ He pulled the handbrake on with the confidence of a man who knew he’d be leaving again soon. This was the final destination for any feelings or responsibility he felt for Quinn and Simon today. Tomorrow was another day and brought another list of vulnerable patients who would need him.

‘I really can’t thank you enough, Matt. I wasn’t up to another burst of tantrum before we left.’ Quinn’s slow, deliberate movements as she unbuckled her seat belt showed her weariness and reluctance to go inside.

The stress she was under was relentless—juggling Simon’s injuries with the fostering process and her job. All on her own. The two of them could probably do with a break away from it all.

He glanced back at Simon. ‘Someone’s out for the count now. He shouldn’t give you any more trouble.’

‘If I can get him up to bed without disturbing him I might actually get a few hours to get some work done. Then I’ll be on standby for the rest of the night with pain relief when he needs it.’ She was yawning already at the mere mention of the night ahead.

‘Make sure you get a couple of hours’ sleep too.’

‘That’s about as much as we’re both getting at the moment.’ She gave a hollow laugh. The lack of sleep would definitely account for the short tempers and general crankiness, not to mention the emotional outbursts.

‘Why don’t you open the door and I’ll carry Sleeping Beauty inside for you?’

She was strong and stubborn enough to manage on her own, he was sure—after all, she’d been coping this far on her own—but it didn’t seem very gentlemanly to leave her to carry the dead weight of a sleeping child upstairs. If he delivered Simon directly to his bed there was more chance of him getting out of here within the next few minutes. That was his excuse and he was sticking to it.

Quinn opened her mouth as if to argue the point, then thought better of it, going to open the door for them and leaving him to scoop Simon out of the back seat. It was an indication of how weary she was when she gave in so easily.

As Matt carried Simon up the steep staircase to bed, careful not to jar his arm in the process, he knew he’d made the right call. Leaving a tired, petite Quinn to manage this on her own would have been an accident waiting to happen. He’d had enough experience of doing this with baby sisters who’d sat up long past their bedtimes to negotiate the obstacle with ease.

‘Which way?’ he mouthed to Quinn, who was waiting for them on the landing.

‘In here.’ She opened one of the doors and switched on the rocket-shaped night light at the side of the small bed.

Matt eased him down onto the covers and let Quinn tuck him in. She was so tenderly brushing his hair from his face and making sure he was comfortable that in that moment an outsider wouldn’t have known they were anything other than biological mother and son.

They tried to tiptoe out of the room together but Simon unfurled his foetal position and rolled over.

‘Do you like my room, Matt?’ he mumbled, half asleep and hardly able to keep his eyes open.

‘Yeah, mate. You’re one lucky boy.’ He could see how much effort Quinn had gone to in order to create the perfect little boy’s room. From the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, to the planet-themed wallpaper, it had been co-ordinated down to the very last detail. The sort of bedroom a young boy sharing a council flat with three sisters could only have dreamed about.

‘Now Matt’s seen your room he has to go and you need to get some sleep.’ Quinn tucked the loosened covers back around him.

‘What-about-the-zoo?’ he said in one breath as his eyes fluttered shut again.

‘We’ll do that another day,’ she assured him, and tried to back out of the room again.

‘Can-Matt-come-too?’ He wasn’t giving in without a fight.

Quinn’s features flickered with renewed panic. This wasn’t in the plan but they knew all hell would break loose again if he left and denied this request. Their silence forced Simon’s eyes open and Matt had to act fast or get stuck here all night trying to pacify him.

‘Sure.’ He glanced back at her and shrugged. What choice did he have? With any luck Simon would forget the entire conversation altogether. Especially since the required answer sent him back to sleep with a smile on his face.

This time they made it out of the room undetected and Quinn released a whoosh of breath from her lungs as she eased the door behind them.

‘I thought we’d never get out of there alive.’ She rested her head against the back of the door, all signs of tension leaving her body as her frown lines finally disappeared and a smile played upon her lips. It was a good look on her and one Matt wished he saw more often.

‘We’re not off the hook yet but hopefully we’ve stalled the drama for another day.’ Preferably when he was far from the crime scene.