HISTORY OF THE FUTURE, Book 1: Meeting With Happy Smile (Part One)
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As people began to arrive, we shared what we had, and soon the atmosphere became vibrant with discussions about happiness and love. As the conversations grew deeper, we encouraged everyone to share what they wanted for their future.
Step by step, as I heard people’s wants for their future, I began to realize how liberating it was to think about them in terms of their future selves. Without much information about their pasts, I saw them as individuals with a whole life ahead, shaping their future, the way they wanted it to be.
This event holds deep meaning for me, as it was the first time I heard DJ Happy Smile and experienced the way he played his music. It was a new experience for me to see him focusing on his laptop and on the mixer fully. Big attention, deep love.
He was sharing such deep attention with the music that he wasn’t aware of who was coming or going, or of what was being talked about. He wasn’t even smiling, at all.
As if, he was in some different universe and his only purpose was, to be there, and to do what he wanted to do = playing his music.
Doing it exactly the way he wanted it to be, was bringing him true happiness.
At one point, I grabbed my little flute and beatboxed along with his music. I wanted to be involved in this beautiful experience.
It felt like I could catch a few hints about the way he devotedly does whatever he is doing.
At the end of the night, after great talks, new connections, and a few donations, he finished his set and finally raised his head from the computer with a big happy smile on his face.
“Oh, I really float.” he said. He was totally unaware of what was happening around him, made me feel like he was coming off of his space ship.
***
In one of our conversations, he mentioned that he hadn’t become sure of himself – about who he is and what his true goal was – until he was 38 years old.
It was an intriguing topic. What caught my attention even more in that moment was: what was the age of this gentleman, really? I became very curious to know. Finally, I asked:
“Until you were 38, hm? What is your age now?”
“You mean this human body?” he replied, pointing at himself – as if I could have been asking about other realities or dimensions, or as if there were any other “body” around to refer to.
“Yes!” I said, with impatience quite clear in my voice.
“I turned 40… or maybe 41, I’m not sure. I choose to delete the past baby, every day. I am not counting anymore,” he said.
9. START LIVING: BE THE MAIN CHARACTER OF YOUR LIFE
From time to time, I found myself feeling confused. Happy seemed like a person who genuinely knew how to enjoy life, and who had figured it all out for himself.
I, on the other hand, was losing track of who I was and how to be myself. I ended up sharing my attention with everything and everyone, getting caught up in the different realities life threw at me.
In stressful moments, I rushed, became clumsy, and struggled to respect my time – and even his.
One particular day stands out in my memory – I was following him around the island on my scooter. It wasn’t the most comfortable experience for me, since I was still new to driving a scooter and he was a professional driver.
Until that day, he kept sharing with me how to create my experiences the way I wanted.
“It is only possible by not sharing your attention with the things and scenarios you don’t want in your life. Focus on what you want to see.”
It was an amazing idea to focus on the scenarios I want to see in the future.
Yet in practice, I was feeling quite fragile when I was facing unwanted experiences in life, ending up judging myself and feeling guilty.
Internally, I was finding myself thinking: ‘I don’t want to keep him waiting’ and ‘I don’t want to make him uneasy with my driving.’ I was dwelling on scenarios of what I DID NOT WANT, instead of focusing on what I WANTED.
This approach heightened my stress as I realized I was causing him to wait and grow frustrated.
I hurried to catch up with him, speeding down a hill, as my stress levels increased, I ended up slowly tumbling off my scooter.
Fortunately, nothing happened other than a minor scratch on my knee. Oh, and my side mirror had popped out from the impact with the ground.
I played it cool, pretending nothing had happened. I stashed the mirror in my bag, lifted the bike, and kept trailing him.
A few minutes later, I realized it wasn’t the smartest move to ride the scooter without the side mirror. So, I stopped him and asked for his support with the mirror.
He stopped, visibly surprised, and asked me what happened. I shared while feeling a little guilty, not realizing I was the one creating him as frustrated in my own head.
‘You are rushing,’ he said in a straight voice, then asked: ‘What do you want?’
I had such mixed feelings in that moment, realizing this guy had been asking me what I wanted since day one. I remember he was asking this question to me over and over again, on that first night when we were in the villa.
When I thought about it that day, I felt off-guard and couldn’t find a satisfying answer. It felt like I did not know this man to ask anything from him.
I said “I’m not interested in you giving me anything. How about you? What do you want?”
He was impressed to see a person asking him the same question. He only smiled and didn’t share his answer, as if my asking was already all he wanted.
And now, coming to this moment, my energy was stressing and shaking inside my body as I heard this question.
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