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For a moment, time seemed to fall away, as he remembered hours he’d spent lying in bed with her, holding her in his arms. Kate, warm and soft, laughing up at him, and then the laughter changing as her eyes darkened with passion and she wrapped her slender arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him…
Jonah groaned and ran his hand across his eyes, bringing himself back to the present with a jolt. Kate was there—only yards away. She wore a denim skirt, a red cotton blouse, with sandals on her feet and bracelets on her arm.
His first impulse was to grab her elbow and turn her to face him. “Kate,” he whispered, aching all over. How he had loved her! Then he remembered the pain of her leaving him, and he knew he should look away, let her walk out of the store. Speaking to her wouldn’t do anything except stir up old hurts.
Why was she in San Antonio? Jonah wondered. It had been five years since he had last seen her.
Other memories flashed in his head. They had met when he’d been stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, and she had lived in Fayetteville. It had been a hot July afternoon when she had swerved to avoid hitting a squirrel, and instead had run into his car.
Since they were in a residential area, neither of them had been going fast, and it had been a mere fender bender. But Jonah recalled her embarrassment and his amusement. The moment he had stepped out of his car and looked at her, his pulse had started galloping.
She had been wearing cutoffs, with her hair in a ponytail, and his first thought was that she was a kid. But then she’d gotten out of the car, revealing her long legs and tiny waist, her lush breasts, and he always wondered later if he had fallen in love right there during that first glance. While they exchanged insurance information, he’d made a date to take her out to dinner that night.
He had met her family and learned she was an only child and had few relatives, but the few she had all lived in Fayetteville. She’d had a successful job in advertising. Three months later, they were married.
It took only seconds for those memories to flash in Jonah’s mind as he stared at her. Then he noticed movement at her side. A small child was tugging on her hand, and she looked down and spoke to him.
Pain sliced into Jonah as if someone had stabbed him.
He had known that Kate would remarry. She was too beautiful, too appealing, too sexy to stay single for long. But the child was proof of her union, and it hurt to face the reality. The boy looked about four or five years old. He had straight black hair and skin darker than Kate’s, as if he had already been out in the sun a lot this spring.
Their divorce had taken place five years ago. She hadn’t wasted any time in finding someone else, Jonah thought bitterly.
As if drawn by a will stronger than his own, Jonah’s attention returned to Kate’s face. While he moved toward her, he argued with himself whether or not to say hello, mentally telling himself to walk on past, stay out of her way and keep her out of his. She was a married woman now, with her own life, just as Jonah had his. Why open old wounds?
A few more steps and he was beside her, and she turned and looked into his face.
The impact of gazing into her thickly lashed hazel eyes was another blow to his middle, one that stole his breath and made his pulse jump erratically. Those seductive green-gold eyes could change hue with passion, vary with different colors of clothing, sparkle with humor and melt with love. Big eyes, a wide mouth, prominent cheekbones…She was always more vivid and striking than anyone around her. Today gold-and-red earrings dangled from her ears, giving her a gypsy look that went with her wild cascade of hair.
“Hello, Kate,” he said quietly. It hurt, remembering the terrible pain of breaking up the marriage.
As she looked at him, her eyes widened, her jaw dropped and all color drained from her face.
He frowned and reached out to steady her, because she looked as if she might faint. She caught the counter edge and held it in a white-knuckled grip. He was amazed at her reaction. Could she be that unhappy to see him, in a chance encounter in a public place?
“Kate?”
“Hello, Jonah,” she whispered, and he could see her make an effort to pull herself together. She blinked, licked her lips and stared at him. If he had drawn a gun on her, he didn’t think she could have looked more terrified.
“Are you all right?” he asked, feeling upset by her reaction.
“Yes,” she answered. “I’m surprised to see you.” She was mumbling, barely loud enough to be heard. “We—we need to go,” she stammered.
When she started to turn away, Jonah knew she would walk out of his life again, which was what she wanted. And he had to let her go because long ago their lives had separated.
“Mommy,” the little boy said, tugging on her arm.
Jonah had forgotten the child, but looked down at him now. When their gazes met, Jonah felt as if he had smashed into a brick wall. His breath left his lungs and his pulse roared in his ears. The shock he had experienced inheriting a ranch and fortune was nothing compared to what he felt now.
He blinked and stared, looking into brown eyes as dark as an inky night. The hint of prominent cheekbones to come, the childish nose that already had a slightly hawkish shape…this was a face Jonah knew well, from his own childhood pictures.
There was a stunned silence while Jonah’s brain registered what he was seeing. He stared dumbly, his mind piecing together the truth.
Then his knees weakened, and he started to shake as he stared in disbelief, knowing he was looking at his own son.
Chapter 2
When Jonah looked at Kate, he saw the truth in her eyes and realized why she had been so stunned to see him. Throughout those years, he’d had a son, and she had kept that fact from him.
The truth and all its implications, plus his first reaction of riveting shock, began to transform his emotions.
A slow, burning fury started in the pit of his stomach and spread until he had to clench his fists and struggle to contain his rage. Never in his life had he yelled at a woman or touched one in any manner to cause hurt, but he wanted to shout at Kate now and he wanted to shake her. Instead, not trusting himself to speak, he held his temper and inhaled deeply.
Someone jostled him, and he realized they were partially blocking the aisle. He caught Kate’s arm, careful to not grip her tightly, knowing he had to keep a check on the anger boiling within him.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said through clenched teeth, turning toward the door and leaving the camera, candy and magazine behind.
She took the child’s hand and all three of them went outside into the hot sunshine. Jonah moved to the shade of a tree, away from the drugstore entrance. He dropped her arm and looked again at the child and then back to Kate.
“How old is he?”
“He’s four. In a few months, he’ll be five,” she replied, and Jonah flinched as if hit. Five years ago was when Kate had walked out.
“You knew when you left me,” he said, thinking about the divorce and the battles they’d had. “You knew, Kate! Dammit, how could you!”
“Please,” she whispered, “not here.”
He wanted to shout that they would talk here and now, but he had to think about his child. “We have to talk,” Jonah declared.
“I know that,” she answered, and glanced at their son. Jonah realized she didn’t want the little boy to overhear the conversation. “But not here and not now. This is my son, Henry,” she said. “Henry, meet…” Her voice trailed away. When words failed her and she looked stricken, Jonah realized she had been unprepared to ever cross paths with him.
“It’s Jonah,” he said to the boy, extending his hand.
Jonah took the small hand offered to him, wanting to pull the child into his arms and hug him. But he knew he couldn’t. It took great effort to keep from staring at Henry. Jonah scanned every inch of the little boy, memorizing forever the child’s straight black hair, slender frame and wide, thickly lashed eyes. His slightly full lips and that hawkish nose that had been passed down to nearly every male in Jonah’s family, and more than a few of the females.
“Hello, sir,” the boy said politely.
Jonah tried to smile as he released the child’s hand, but failed.
“I’m staying at a motel. I can give you my phone number—” Kate began, but Jonah shook his head. He wasn’t giving her a chance to disappear again.
“No, Kate,” he interrupted. “Let’s go to a park and talk right now. Henry can play while we talk. C’mon. I have a car.”
Wide-eyed, she stared at him and slowly nodded. “We have to get Henry’s booster seat from my car. I’d drive, but with the car packed with our belongings, there’s no room.” He linked her arm in his, trying to ignore the jump in his pulse when he touched her. She took Henry’s hand, and they got the booster seat and then walked to Jonah’s rental car, where Jonah held the door while she climbed inside. As soon as Jonah secured the booster seat, Henry got into the back and buckled himself in.
They drove in silence to the park, and Jonah wondered whether Henry was an extremely quiet, shy child or if he had picked up on his mother’s anxiety.
After they parked in the shade of an elm, the three of them walked to a wooden park bench that was close to swings and playground equipment. As Henry ran off to climb on a wooden structure, Jonah and Kate sat on the bench, leaving a wide space between them. As soon as they were settled, he turned to her.
Gazing at her profile, he realized she had changed. She was far thinner now, her skin drawn tightly over those prominent cheekbones. His gaze drifted down to her long, shapely legs, which stirred his desire even when he didn’t want them to.
“Are you married?” he asked bluntly, and she shook her head.
“No, I’m not.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about my son?” he demanded, still trying to control the fury that burned in him.
She turned to look at him, gazing steadily, with a lift of her chin. “It wouldn’t have mattered if I had told you. You wouldn’t have left Special Forces just because your wife was pregnant.”
“I had a right to know,” he said, each word clipped with suppressed anger that he struggled every second to control.
She flinched as if he had struck her. “I know you did,” she said, looking away and watching Henry. “But it would have made it harder to separate, and I wanted out of the marriage. And you had your life, the life you wanted more than anything else.”
“Don’t say that I wouldn’t have cared about my son,” he said tightly, clenching his fists again.
“I know you would have cared,” she stated quickly, “but it wouldn’t have changed anything.” She shook her head and sunlight caused golden glints in her thick brown hair.
“It might have, Kate.”
“You know it wouldn’t have!” she snapped, then bit her lip and looked away. Henry had climbed into a large sandbox and was digging in the sand, and both his parents stared at him.
“How could you keep silent? How could you keep my son from me?” Jonah asked, pulling on his earlobe.
“I know I shouldn’t have,” she replied in a tight voice.
“Damn straight you shouldn’t have!” he snapped. “It’s not just me you cheated, but his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, and Henry himself! Dammit, Kate!”
She turned, fire flashing in her eyes and color spilling into her cheeks. “We divorced! Even if you had known, I would have tried to get full custody, and since you were out of the country most of the time, I probably would have succeeded.”
“You don’t know that. Would you have kept him from his grandparents?” Jonah asked, thinking about how much his mother and dad loved their grandchildren.
Kate closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.
“You cheated me out of knowing my son as a baby and a toddler. Not even a picture, Kate. No knowledge of his existence, and you never planned to tell me! Damnation!” Jonah swore in a deadly quiet voice. He was furious, hurt, close to rage, yet even so, he wanted to reach out and touch her. She still dazzled him, and that angered him even more.
“You didn’t want us!” she snapped, looking him in the eye defiantly. “Your military life was the most important thing to you!”
Jonah took a couple of deep breaths. His pulse was pounding and he felt hot. Standing, he jammed his fists into his pockets and walked a few steps, feeling a pent-up need to move while he tried to calm himself.
He knew he needed to think before he spoke, because every word between them was loaded and could explode into a fiery fight or disaster. He was angry with Kate, angry with himself for still finding her incredibly attractive. How could he want to kiss her when she had done such a terrible thing? Yet when he looked at her lips, all he could do was remember—even through a haze of fury.
“I’m out of the military now, and I want to know my son,” Jonah declared.
She caught her lip with her teeth, looking at Henry and frowning. “You’re going to hurt him.”
“Never,” Jonah replied emphatically. “Do you think knowing his father is going to hurt him?”
“No,” she admitted with a sigh. “I know you would never deliberately hurt any child, much less your own son.”
“What are you doing in San Antonio?” Jonah asked.
“I just got a job here,” she replied.
“Where are you staying?”
When she named a motel that was part of a low-priced chain, he looked more closely at her. Her purse was frayed, her sandals scuffed and worn. She wore a dime-store watch. He wondered what had happened, because when they had been married she had had an excellent job as an account executive with an advertising agency.
“Why did you leave North Carolina? Are your folks still there?”
She looked away and shook her head. “No. Both of my parents died—Dad died in January and Mom in April.”
“I’m sorry, Kate. Their deaths were close together and that’s rough. What happened to them?”
“They were terminally ill, both with heart trouble. After their deaths, I closed things up and found a job here, and we just arrived in town. I have to find a place to live and a day care for Henry.” She looked at Jonah. “So where do we go from here? Do you live here, too?”
“Yes. And I intend to get to know my son.” He glanced at Henry and then back at her, thinking of the future. “I’ll take you to court over this if I have to, Kate.”
She looked away, but not before he saw tears fill her eyes. Her tears didn’t diminish his anger, however.
“Don’t run away, either,” he added tersely. “I’ll find you. I can promise you that.”
“I won’t run. I suppose we’ll have to work out times and all that…. Have you remarried?” she asked, turning tostudy him.
“No, I haven’t.”
She shook her head and looked away again. Wind blew her long hair, and he could remember its softness when he’d wrapped his fingers in it.
“When do you start this new job?” he asked.
“Monday morning.”
Surprised, he arched his brows. “That leaves you just this weekend to find a place to live and a day care. That’s cutting it close.”
“I needed to start work as soon as possible.”
Jonah sat down again on the end of the bench and rested his elbows on his knees, watching Henry in the sandbox. The little boy was digging, carefully building a structure. Jonah’s thoughts seethed, and he tried to think calmly what to do next.
“Jonah, I should go,” Kate said, locking her fingers together tightly in her lap. “I can give you my phone number and the number of the place where I’ll be working, but right now, this afternoon, I should be looking for a place to stay. That’s what we’ve been doing all day today.”
She opened her purse and fumbled for a pen and paper. Jonah’s hand closed over hers and her gaze flew up to meet his.
“I’ll take you to dinner tonight and we can plan what we’ll do.”
“I don’t have any time before this job starts. Can we wait until I’ve had a week or two?”
“You’re going to tell him the truth today, right now—here at the park. Or else I will,” Jonah said in a voice of steel, a tone she had never heard before and knew she couldn’t argue with. “I don’t want to be cheated out of knowing my son one more minute.”
She rubbed her forehead again. “Please wait. I can’t deal with all this at once.”
“I’ve waited five damn years!” Jonah snapped. “I’m not waiting another moment.”
She nodded. “All right, Jonah. I guess you have that right.”
“Damn straight, I do. What have you told him about me—about us?” Jonah asked. “Did you tell him that we’re divorced?”
“Yes. I told him that the army was important to you and you were gone most of the time, and we decided it would be best to part. I told him you wanted out of the marriage.”
“Kate, that’s a damn lie!” Jonah said, standing again and pacing away from her, fury making him shake once more. He whipped around. “You’re the one who walked.”
“I know, but I was afraid he would keep hoping you would come back,” she explained.
The anger Jonah was keeping in check tore at him. He clenched and unclenched his fists and took deep breaths, knowing he needed to calm down.
“Children accept life as it comes to them,” Kate continued in a subdued voice, her words running together as she spoke quickly. “My parents were around the first couple of years. Dad wasn’t well the past three years, nor was Mom for the last two, but for a while Henry had a father substitute.” She turned to face Jonah squarely.
“It hasn’t been easy this past year. Mom and Dad were very ill, and I had to quit my job to take care of them. Since I couldn’t give a lot of attention to Henry, he’s learned to entertain himself, but he’s also a little shut off. He’s a solemn child and sensitive, and I think he picks up on what is going on around him. Don’t intimidate him.”
“I don’t intend to intimidate him, Kate. I want to love him,” Jonah said in a clipped tone while he looked at the little boy playing in the sand by himself. Other children ran around the playground together, but Henry kept to himself, and Jonah wondered how solitary the child’s life had been.
“You named him for your dad, didn’t you?” he asked.
“Yes. Henry Neighbor Whitewolf.”
“So you let him keep my name?” Jonah remarked in surprise. “And his middle name is my dad’s? Why did you do that, when you intended for Henry to never know his grandfather?”
“I thought someday I would take him to meet your folks, but then time began to pass and my parents got sick. I had a baby to care for and I just didn’t do anything about it. I never had a quarrel with your folks, Jonah.”
He gritted his teeth and shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. After a long silence, he said, “It was pretty shabby treatment, Kate, to keep the knowledge of their grandchild from them.”
She locked her fingers together. “I suppose you’re right, but if I had gone to see them or called or let them know in any way, you would have showed up and I was afraid of a custody battle.”
“Well, we need to talk about that one.”
She glanced at her watch. “I won’t run away. As of Monday morning, I’ll be an advertising executive for Beckman and Holloway, a San Antonio ad agency, and I’m really looking forward to it.”
“Sounds like a great job,” he said.
“I think it will be. It’ll pay more than the one I left.” She looked at Henry. “Right now, we haven’t had lunch, and I know Henry should eat. I need to try to find an apartment today, and I have an appointment this afternoon with a day care. Can we talk next week?”
“No. You’re not putting me off now. I’ll take you both to lunch.”
“You don’t need to do that,” she argued quietly. “I have a lunch packed in a cooler in my car. Jonah, be reasonable—we can talk tomorrow.”
Jonah shook his head. “Let’s go to lunch and talk. You can look at apartments later. Right now, I want to go tell him I’m his father. I’ve been out of his life for too long already.”
They stared at each other, and he could feel the muscles clenching in his jaw. He hurt as if every bone in his body were broken, ached with longing for the years he hadn’t known his child. Hot anger still consumed him, and to his chagrin, he still found his pulse racing every time he looked at Kate. He didn’t want her to have that power over him, but she did. He just hoped he never let his need for her show. When he thought what she had done, keeping Henry from him, he decided it would be better to keep his basic male reaction hidden from her.
He was astounded that she would try to keep his son a secret. That was a side of her he had never known.
“I’m going to tell him,” Jonah said, finally breaking the silence.
“No!” She gripped his arm and he inhaled, hating the hot tremor that sizzled through him from the touch of her fingers. She yanked her hand away as if she had touched burning metal. “I’ll go tell him right now,” she said, looking at Jonah intently, her gaze searching his features. “You’ve changed, Jonah. You’re a hard man.”
“You’ve changed, too, Kate. And what you did was—” He bit back the word he was about to say. It was over, and from this hour on, he would know his son and his son would know him. And in that moment, Jonah knew what he could do for the future.
“I’ll go tell him, but this is going to be sudden,” she repeated.
“I’m not the one who caused it to be that way. Go tell him.”
She clamped her lips shut, but nodded and turned away. He watched the slight sway of her hips and drew a deep breath. “Damn,” he whispered to himself. She was still beautiful and she could still stir him with a look or even the slightest physical contact. To him, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever known. He couldn’t see her any other way. Not even now, when he was so angry with her.
For too many reasons he ached as he watched her sit down in the grass near the sandbox and talk to Henry. Their son. Jonah couldn’t get over the knowledge. He had a son! Henry Neighbour, named for his dad and her father.
Jonah thought of his parents. His father would stoically say nothing about not being told about Henry all these years, but would simply pick up with the present. His mother would cry buckets over the lost years and pour out her love on this grandson, if Kate would let her.
Children’s laughter floated in the air, along with the whistles of birds. A faint breeze blew, and shadows shifted over him as Jonah sat waiting in the shade of a tall cottonwood tree. While he watched his ex-wife with their son, he thought of his future and the plans he had already made, and now what lay ahead and what he should do.
While Kate talked to Henry, the boy turned and stared at Jonah, who gazed back, aching inside. He wanted to go put his arms around his son and hug him. He longed to hold Henry. Five years and he had never yet held his child.
“Oh, dammit, Kate,” he whispered, and started walking toward them.
Henry got up and brushed off the sand, and Kate took his hand as they approached Jonah. The boy was slender, too quiet and withdrawn, yet there was absolutely no mistaking that Henry was his son, Jonah thought.
As he walked up to them, Kate and Henry stopped. Jonah kept his eyes on the boy, who watched him when he hunkered down in front of him. “I’m your dad, Henry.”
“Yes, sir,” Henry said quietly, frowning at him.
“I’m glad to see you and I want to get to know you.”
Nodding solemnly, Henry stared in silence at Jonah, who had held on to control long enough. He succumbed to impulse, reaching out to pick up Henry, standing and hugging the child, trying to hide the tears that stung his eyes.
“Henry,” he whispered.
The little boy’s arms wrapped around his neck, and Jonah gritted his teeth and squinted, fighting the knot in his throat and the hot tears that threatened to spill. He hadn’t cried since he was too young to remember, but it was all he could do now to hang on to his emotions. At the same time, he didn’t want to let go of Henry. He held his son in his arms, marveling at the miracle that had been given to him. A son. He had a son!