Positive Thinking: Everything you have always known about positive thinking but were afraid to put into practice

Vera Peiffer

Dedication

For Nada and Ljuba

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Foreword – Please Do Not Read

PART 1:

Chapter 1: Mind over matter: The Pendulum Experiment

Chapter 2: The subconscious mind

Chapter 3: What is positive thinking?

PART 2:

Chapter 4: What is on your mind?

Chapter 5: Getting in touch with your subconscious mind

Chapter 6: Setting up your personal success programme

Chapter 7: Some personality traits and their strategies

PART 3:

Chapter 8: How to use this part of the book

Chapter 9: Communication

Chapter 10: Stress

Chapter 11: Worrying and remorse

Chapter 12: Loneliness

Chapter 13: Illness

Chapter 14: Jealousy and envy

PART 4:

Chapter 15: Hypnosis and self-hypnosis

Chapter 16: Guided affective imagery

Notes

Further Reading

Index

About the Author

By the Same Author

Copyright

About the Publisher

Foreword – Please Do Not Read

Excuse me, have you had this trouble with your eyesight long? No trouble with your eyesight. I see. In that case, would you please read the heading again? OK, now just skip the foreword and go on to the next chapter. Thank you.

I don’t believe this. You’re still reading on when I specifically asked you not to!

You see, when I started working on this book, a friend asked me how far I’d got with my writing and I replied that I had just started on the foreword. My friend waved a contemptuous hand and assured me that she certainly never read any forewords and, as far as she was aware, nobody else did either. That got me thinking. Since I wanted my foreword to be read I thought why not use it to prove a point?

The fact that you were not supposed to read the foreword made it practically irresistible – after all, you’re still reading now, aren’t you?

Note: The harder you try to avoid something, the less you can do it.

You will encounter the implications of these notes throughout the book, and I will demonstrate in the following chapters how they work and how you can use them to your advantage. What is more I know that you will succeed in making the findings of this book work for you, provided you act on your intention of getting more out of life and therefore put these findings into practice.

Theoretical knowledge is a marvellous thing. It increases your self-esteem, impresses your friends and looks good on your CV. All this is also very useful and certainly desirable, but theoretical knowledge cannot effect change: it will never change you from a miserable person into a happy one or from an unsuccessful person into a successful one.

In order to change your life for the better, you need more than just theoretical knowledge. You need to put these theories into practice. This, of course, means that you have to assume responsibility for your own well-being and stop blaming everyone else for things that go wrong in your life. This is not easy, because, let’s face it, it is just so much more convenient to blame your parents/the Government/the weather for the fact that you cannot cope with certain aspects of life, rather than admit that you have not been pulling your weight and are therefore still stuck in that same old job, are still without a partner or still as miserable as you were two years ago.

In the long run, taking responsibility for your actions is a winning strategy because it opens the door to a completely new range of possibilities for becoming a successful person. When I am speaking of success I am speaking of a number of different areas, like health, wealth, happiness and personal fulfilment.

There are practically no limits to what you can achieve provided you put your mind to it. Reading this book will help, but you still have to go out and put the theories into practice. This ultimate step lies with you and you alone. Get on with it now; don’t wait for the ‘right moment’, it may never come.

Note: The best time to act on new resolutions is now (not the 1st January).

I know you can do it!

VERA PEIFFER

1 Mind over matter: The Pendulum Experiment

Before we get into theoretical discussions of how the mind works, I would like you to try the following experiment.

Find a piece of string and tie a ring to one end of it. It is quite unimportant what sort of string you use or what kind of object you tie to the end – if you don’t have a ring, use a key or a pen with a clip. The main thing is that you can fasten it somehow to the end of your string.

Now tie the other end of the string around your right index finger. As it is important to keep your right hand perfectly still, I suggest you sit down at a table, firmly rest both elbows on the table and support your right wrist with your left hand.

Lower your right index finger to allow the object to rest on the table, then gently lift the index finger again so that the object hangs still. It is of the utmost importance that you do not move your hand while you carry out this experiment.

Now fix your gaze on the object and begin to imagine that the pendulum starts swinging from left to right. See the movement in your mind, imagine how the object begins to swing, left to right, left to right. Say it silently to yourself, ‘Left to right to left to right’, and you will see that the pendulum actually begins to swing from left to right. It will begin to swing very slightly first, so keep on imagining, seeing in your mind’s eye how the movement is becoming more pronounced, and you will see that this, too, will happen.

Now lower your hand once more, resting the object on the surface of the table. Again, lift the object away from the surface gently so that it hangs free, and now imagine that it begins to swing around in a clockwise circle. Move your eyes in a clockwise circle around the object, see the movement, and very slowly you will notice that the pendulum begins to swing accordingly. All the while make sure you do not move the hand that is holding the pendulum.

Of course you can also make the pendulum swing in an anti-clockwise circle or away from you and towards you. The result is always the same: the pendulum follows the imagined direction. Fascinating, isn’t it?

However, before you give up your job to become a world-famous stage artist in the pendulum-swinging field, let us just have a look at what has been happening here. You were determined to hold your hand perfectly still, and, at the same time, imagined that the pendulum would begin to move in a particular direction. In other words, your will-power was in conflict with your imagination.

Note: When your will-power conflicts with your imagination, your imagination will always win out.

Just consider another example. I am sure you know someone who has attempted their driving test and failed, although they were perfectly capable of doing their three-point turn and manoeuvring the car into a parking space under non-test conditions. The ‘nerves’ these people display in the test situation are nothing but the conflict between will-power and imagination. They want to pass the test, they want to perform well … but they imagine that they will fail and, as we have seen with the pendulum experiment, the imagination is more powerful than the will, and, consequently, the candidate tenses up, panics, and fails his or her driving test. In order to support your wishes effectively, you have to make sure that your imagination runs along the same lines as your wish, but more of this later.

So, what are you going to do if your pendulum didn’t swing and you are now red in the face and contemplating using the pages of this book to wrap your sandwiches in?

Note: Never give up.

The difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful person is that the successful person goes on where the unsuccessful person gives up. So, try again!

You may not be in the habit of using your imagination very often, but it is certainly a skill that can be acquired by practising. Children tend to have very good imaginations, so if you have lost the ability as an adult, you will simply have to re-learn it by using it more often. Using your imagination is a bit like riding a bicycle: you don’t ever completely forget it. (You will find an exercise for improving your imagination on page 24.)

2 The Subconscious Mind

The mind, just like an iceberg, consists of two parts: like the tip of the iceberg, there is the conscious mind, which helps us with daily decision-making processes and also assists us with new situations where we have to apply rational thinking to fathom out what to do and how to do it. On the other hand, there is the subconscious mind, which makes up the far greater part, just like the submerged part of the iceberg. The subconscious mind deals with the repetitions of learned behaviour. This can be very helpful because it enables us to deal with situations more quickly when they occur again. Once we have learned to deal with a situation we find it easier next time around because we are using information that is already stored. For example, once we have learned that the oven door is hot we will use a cloth to open it the next time we have to do it, rather than burn our fingers again; once we know how to change gear in the car, we don’t have to consciously think about it any more because the stored information comes up automatically as soon as the situation arises again; once we have learned where the letters are on a computer keyboard, we can type without looking because we have formed a mental picture in our subconscious mind of what the keyboard looks like.

Information from the conscious mind feeds directly into the subconscious mind. There is a strong link between the two parts of the mind. Everything you have ever seen, heard or experienced is perceived by the conscious mind and then stored away into the subconscious mind as a memory. This memory is stored as the incident itself plus the feeling that went with it at the time.

Let us assume you are bitten by a dog. You live through the actual incident and experience all the feelings of shock, hurt and anxiety that accompany the event. That incident and those feelings now get stored away in the subconscious. This memory influences your behaviour in similar situations. Next time you see a dog you will act according to your memory pattern, that is, you will experience anxiety when you walk past a dog or, if the shock at the time was particularly strong, you may even cross over to the other side of the street to avoid the dog.

Let me give you another example. Let us assume that someone tells you repeatedly that you are useless. This other person can be your father, mother, husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss or anybody who is in a position of authority or very close to you. The accusation can be unfounded or exaggerated, but if it is repeated over and over again, it will still get stored away in your subconscious mind, and, once again, the feeling of anger, resignation or depression you feel will go with it.

When the other person is given the opportunity to repeat their accusation over and over again over a long period of time, you will begin to feel that you really are useless and incapable of doing anything right because that is the automatic message you get from your subconscious whenever a new situation arises where you have to prove yourself.

You are now entering a vicious circle: because you believe you are useless, you will act out that belief; because you do not tackle any new situations you feel like a failure, and therefore you fail, and now the initial accusation has become true, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, even though you may never have been useless in the first place.

These two examples demonstrate that there is a link between the information or events we experience consciously (facts), the consequent subconscious storing of the event together with the accompanying feelings (memory) and the subsequent way we act (behaviour) when we find ourselves in the same situation again.

When we find that, for some reason, we cannot cope with a situation, this will leave our subconscious mind with a piece of negative information, with a memory trace of failure, and when the same or similar situation presents itself again, we will automatically assume that we are unable to cope. This assumption means that we are expecting things to go wrong again, we imagine ourselves incapable of handling the situation and, therefore, we will ultimately be unable to escape what we have imagined.

Note: Once the fact-memory-behaviour chain has been established, it works automatically.

There is, of course, also the possibility that you can no longer recall the incident itself, but you will nevertheless still experience the feeling that went with it as soon as you encounter a similar situation. You may well have forgotten that you were bitten by a dog at the age of two, but your subconscious mind will ‘remind’ you of the incident by emitting that feeling of fear that went with it at the time.

Feelings do not overcome us out of the blue, they are always linked to a real incident, which we may very well have forgotten, for whatever reason. The stronger the negative feeling that accompanied the event, the more likely it is that the incident has been repressed, that is, the more likely it is that we no longer remember it.

Note: Feelings that have been stored away in the memory will always be discharged as behaviour.

The good news is that the fact-memory-behaviour chain also works in a positive way. If you have been told that you are loved, even when you make mistakes, then your subconscious mind will register this information as a feeling of security, together with the message that you are loved no matter what, and you will then go and try out new things without being too frightened about the outcome because you know that, even if it does not work out, your sense of security and self-esteem will still be intact.

You will have noticed that I emphasise that information has to be given repeatedly before it takes root in the subconscious mind and that an incident has to be accompanied by a particularly strong emotion to impress itself on the subconscious and thus influence consequent behaviour.

These are points that are important to bear in mind:

Note: The more often a message is repeated, the deeper it is impressed on the subconscious.

Note: The stronger the emotion accompanying an event, the stronger that emotion is impressed on the subconscious.

4 What Is On Your Mind?

I would like you to start off by paying attention to what you are thinking throughout the day. Check the quality of your thoughts. Do you find yourself indulging in destructive thoughts, such as hatred, guilt, anger or envy? Nip them in the bud and replace them with positive thoughts.