Mission: Motherhood

Caitlyn had forgotten how intensely Prairie Springs celebrated the Fourth of July, but it was certainly all coming back to her now. Texans were just naturally patriotic, and Texans living next to a military base doubled the patriotism. The twins were determined to enjoy every minute of the celebration, and so far, they seemed to be.

They’d already watched the parade and eaten their way through hot dogs and sweet corn and cherry pie, but at least they’d found a table near the river, where there was a bit of a breeze.

It had been a good day, but Caitlyn had to admit that the heat was getting to her. She’d thought New York in the summer was hot, but it was nothing compared to Texas. The heat hadn’t bothered her that much as a kid, but now it was draining every bit of energy.

She pressed a paper cup of iced tea against her forehead, wishing she could just pour the tea over her head, as she watched the twins go around and around on the carousel. She smiled and waved to the girls as they passed her, thinking she and Carolyn had probably ridden those same painted wooden horses a long time ago.

Amanda was waving one arm like a rodeo rider as her palomino went up and down. Next to her, Josie clung to the pole of her stationary horse as if she feared it would throw her.

Worry flickered through her. Her mother felt Josie’s timidity would resolve itself if they left her alone. Mama certainly had more experience than she did in dealing with children, so why did it still tease her, seeming to say she should do something?

The tempo of the carousel music changed, and the horses slowed their movement. The twins were out of her view, their horses now on the far side of the carousel.

Apprehension grabbed her. The carousel was going to stop with the twins about as far from her as they could be. Would they have sense enough to stay put until she reached them? She should have reminded them before the ride had started.

The music tinkled to a stop, and people began to pour off the carousel, even as others started to climb on. She struggled against the crowd of cheerful kids and adults, trying to spot the girls.

It was irrational, wasn’t it, to feel so panicky because they were out of her sight? She couldn’t seem to help it, and she couldn’t get there fast enough.

Finally the crowd cleared, and she hurried past one painted horse after another. There was the palomino Amanda had ridden, with the stationary chestnut beside it. They were both empty.

She turned, searching the immediate area with her gaze. Where were the children? They were her responsibility—she should have gone on the carousel with them. They could be scared—Josie might be crying.

And then she saw them walking toward her. Steve had each one by a hand, and Amanda was clutching a bunch of balloons.

She raced toward them, reaching them and catching both girls in a hug. “Where were you? I was scared when I couldn’t find you.”

Steve grasped her hand warmly. “They’re fine. I’m sorry if they scared you.”

“Scared is the right word.” She took a breath. “What happened? Why didn’t you stay where you were and wait for me to come?”

“I saw a man with balloons.” Amanda’s tone said she knew perfectly well she’d made a mistake and wasn’t going to admit it.

“That’s where I caught up with them,” Steve said. “I happened to walk past the balloon man.”

Caitlyn knelt so that she was eye to eye with the twins. “Listen, guys, you scared me. Don’t ever do that again, okay?”

Amanda’s lower lip came out, but after a moment she nodded. “Okay. I promise.”

Josie nodded, too, looking close to tears.

“Good.” Caitlyn hugged them. Had this been her first parenting success? At least Amanda hadn’t argued. And thanks to Steve, they were safe.

She rose, blinking back a stray tear as she looked at Steve. “Thank you. If you hadn’t seen them before they wandered even farther—”

“They wouldn’t have gone far,” he said comfortingly. He turned to the girls. “Hey, do you know how to make balloon animals?”

They shook their heads solemnly.

“Well, if I can just borrow a balloon, you’ll see.” He took one of the long balloons from Amanda’s hand. “I wonder what I can make.” He twisted the balloon in his hands, frowning a little. Finally he held it out.

“A giraffe.” The twins shouted the word in unison.

He handed it to Josie, and she looked enchanted.

“One for me,” Amanda said quickly. She gave him another balloon. “A giraffe, please.”

“Well, we’ll just have to see how it turns out.” He twisted the balloon in his strong hands, frowning at it intently.

“What’s wrong? Can’t guarantee another giraffe?” Caitlyn asked softly.

He grinned. “I hate to promise what it’s going to be. It usually looks like an animal, but not necessarily what I think it’s going to be.”

Fortunately for all of them, this one turned out enough like a giraffe to make Amanda happy, and the two girls decided to make their giraffes dance together to the music of the carousel.

“You’re a success.” Caitlyn smiled at him. “And we’re lucky you came along when you did.”

“Not so much luck,” Steve said. “I ran into Betty and she asked me to join y’all for dessert and to watch the fireworks. I said I’d round you up.”

“I see.” It seemed she was destined to see Steve wherever she went. As he’d said, it was a small town. “Well, I’m still glad you came when you did. I was starting to panic. I’m beginning to appreciate every gray hair Carolyn and I caused our mother.”

She said it lightly, but judging by Steve’s expression, he wasn’t taking it that way.

“Not easy being a parent, is it?”

“I’m not a parent. I can’t ever take their mother’s place.”

The words came out without her thinking them through, but she realized they were true as soon as she said them. She’d do what she could, but she couldn’t take Carolyn’s place.

Steve stopped, turning to face her. “Is that really what you think?” He was frowning as if he’d taken her measure and found her lacking in some way. “Because that’s what those children need, and you might just have to sacrifice what you want to give it to them.”

Caitlyn could only stare at him in disbelief, as anger welled up in her at his stinging criticism. “I appreciate your interest, Chaplain Steve. But my family life is not really any of your business.”

Without giving him a chance to respond, she grabbed the girls’ hands and stalked off in the direction of the picnic grove.

It was all very well to have the last word, Caitlyn decided, but it lost its effect if you had to be with that person for another two hours.

She’d expected Steve to beg off watching the fireworks with them. That’s what she’d have done, if their positions were reversed.

But he hadn’t. He’d come back to the picnic table with them and eaten a slab of Mama’s pecan pie and drunk a glass of lemonade, chatting all the while as if there weren’t a trace of strain between them.

Now, he helped her spread a blanket at the riverbank—the ideal spot, her mother declared, for watching the fireworks.

“Thanks.” She smoothed out a corner and sat down, glancing at the twins running among the blankets with a couple of friends, each one waving a flag or a glow stick. “Here’s a spot for you, Mama.” She patted the space next to her.

Her mother shook her head. “I was just talking to Maisie Elliot, and she’s going on home now. I think maybe I’ll ride along with her. I’m just a mite tired.”

“Mama, if you’re tired, we can go home now. We don’t have to stay for the fireworks.” She started to get up, but her mother was already shaking her head again.

“No, no, the girls would be so disappointed. You know how they’ve been looking forward to staying up for the fireworks. Y’all stay. Steve will keep you company, I know.”

“I don’t think—”

“I won’t hear of you leaving,” Mama said flatly. “Now just you do as I say, Caitlyn Ann.”

“If a parent uses both names, you’d better give up,” Steve said. His smile seemed genuine.

She sank back down reluctantly. “I guess you’re right. We’ll see you at home, then, Mama.”

Her mother blew a kiss and started off to find her next-door neighbor. Caitlyn watched her go, and her heart clenched.

“She’s aged,” she said softly, nearly forgetting who she was talking to.

“It’s been pretty rough on her.” Steve leaned back on his elbows, his gaze intent on her face. “Even before Carolyn and Dean died, I could see the toll it was taking on her. She wouldn’t admit it, but taking care of those girls full-time was beyond her.”

“You think I don’t know that?” She let the exasperation show in her voice. “Have you ever tried to stop Betty Villard from doing something she thought was her duty?”

“I know what you mean.” He smiled. “Texas women are tough.”

She shrugged. “I’ve been away too long to qualify, I’m afraid.”

“Never say that.” The laughter seemed to leave his face. “Caitlyn, I need to apologize to you for what I said earlier. I overstepped my bounds.”

“Yes, you did.”

“You’re a hard case, you know that? I’m saying I’m sorry.”

Much as she hated to admit it, that lopsided grin of his affected her. All the annoyance she’d been clinging to slid away.

“It’s all right,” she said. “I know you care about the girls. As for me—I’m still just feeling my way with them.”

“It’s pretty different from your life in New York, is it?”

“I’ll say. I probably don’t see a child from one month to the next there.”

“No married friends with babies?”

She shrugged. “I work long hours. When I’m off, I guess I try to catch up on my sleep.”

“That sounds a little lonely.”

“Lonely? I don’t have time to be lonely. The firm isn’t happy unless they’re getting sixty hours a week out of us.”

He smiled. “Like I said. Lonely.”

“You don’t understand.” He probably couldn’t. She didn’t know what the army expected of a chaplain, but it couldn’t be anything like the expectations of her firm. “That’s what it takes in my line of work. You put in outrageous hours, knowing that the payoff at the end is worth it.”

She sounded defensive, she realized. That was ridiculous. She didn’t owe anyone an explanation of the life she’d chosen.

The military band struck up a march just then, and she was glad. It would save her from another argument with Steve.

“Hey, Amanda! Josie!” Steve called. “Come on, the fireworks are going to start any minute.”

They came scurrying and dived onto the blanket. “I love fireworks,” Amanda said. “They’re my favorite thing next to chocolate cake and going to the movies.”

“This girl’s got her priorities straight.” Steve scooped her onto his lap. “Look right out there over the water. Maybe you can be the first one to spot the fireworks.”

Josie snuggled against Caitlyn. “I don’t like the loud bang,” she said confidingly. “I’m going to put my hands over my ears.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” Caitlyn patted her. “We’ll hold on to each other, okay?”

“Okay.”

The feel of that little body snuggled up against her was doing funny things to her heart. Lonely. Steve thought she’d been lonely.

She’d denied it, of course, but there might be a grain of truth in what he’d said. Maybe her life back in New York was a bit out of balance.

“There!” Amanda pointed to a dark rocket soaring upward. It exploded into a shower of white stars that arced downward toward their reflection in the water.

That was only the beginning. One rocket after another shot up to the oohs and aahs of the crowds along the riverbank. Amanda stared, mesmerized, and Josie alternated between watching and hiding her face in Caitlyn’s lap.

Caitlyn smoothed Josie’s fine, soft hair. She wouldn’t have believed it a month ago, but it really was nice, sitting here, watching the awed looks on the children’s faces.

As for Steve—she turned so she could see his strong profile, outlined against the water. It wasn’t so bad having him here, either.

The last spectacular display seemed to go on and on as the band soared to a crescendo. Then, finally, the lights and sound faded away. It was over.

Before she could move or speak, she heard a sound drifting over the dark water, silencing the audience. It was a lone bugle, playing “Taps.” The notes hung, sharp as crystal, in the still air.

Caitlyn’s heart clenched painfully, and a tear trickled down her cheek. The sound was inexpressibly sad and beautiful.

The final notes died away, and for a moment nobody moved, nobody spoke. From somewhere in the crowd there was a muffled sob.

Then Steve pushed to his feet and moved to kneel next to her.

“She’s asleep. I’ll take her, if you can manage—”

He stopped. Then he reached out, wiping an errant tear from her cheek with one large, warm hand. Her gaze met his, and for a moment she couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Attraction twinkled between them, seeming as bright as the fireworks had been.

Then Steve sat back on his heels, looking startled. “I—” he began, and seemed to lose his train of thought. He cleared his throat. “Sorry. I—I was saying that I’d carry Josie.”

Amanda tugged at his pant leg. “I want you to carry me.”

“But Aunt Caitlyn needs you,” he said. “She has to have a strong girl to carry one end of the blanket.”

Amanda’s shoulders straightened. She’d be the strong one, obviously.

He slid his arms under the sleeping child, carefully not looking at Caitlyn. It didn’t matter. She was aware of his every movement.

Was he as aware of her? Maybe it was better not to know. That flare of attraction—it was probably brought on by the emotion of the moment. It couldn’t be anything else.

She stumbled to her feet, helping a tired Amanda gather up the blanket and then taking her tiny hand. It was definitely time to go home, and she would not feel regret. She wouldn’t.

Chapter Four

Caitlyn’s stomach clenched a little as she headed toward Anna’s office. Being summoned like that in the hallowed halls of Graham, Graham and Welch was seldom a good thing. She hadn’t been at Children of the Day long enough to know what it meant with Anna.

She did a rapid mental review of her work. Everything she could think to do regarding the Ali Tabiz situation had been done, and until they received the specifics from Dr. Mike she couldn’t do anything more. Could she? She wasn’t used to work situations in which the next step wasn’t clear-cut, and that made her nervous.

She paused for just a second at the French doors, which stood ajar as usual, tapped lightly and went in. Anna was at her desk, talking, but she waved her in, never missing a beat. Anna obviously had multitasking down to a fine art, which was probably essential in running a foundation like this one.

“Here’s Caitlyn now. Let’s see what she has to say about it.”

She went to the desk, realizing that Anna was talking with someone via her webcam. Anna pulled a chair over so that they could sit next to each other, and Caitlyn slid into place.

“Dr. Mike, this is Caitlyn Villard, our new care coordinator. She’s working on Ali’s case. Caitlyn, this is Major Michael Montgomery, usually known as Dr. Mike.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Caitlyn. Glad to have you on board.”

Even against the drab background of a cement-block wall, the man in scrubs had a vitality that transcended his obvious fatigue. His even features looked drawn, but his eyes sparkled with energy.

“It’s good to meet you, as well, Dr. Mike. We’ve been hoping for some additional information on your young patient.”

Dr. Mike grimaced. “I was sorry not to get back to you sooner. It’s been pretty hot around here.”

“We’ve been praying for you. But you’re okay? And Ali?” Anna asked.

“Fine, fine.” He glanced around, as if distracted. “I don’t have much time, since people are lining up behind me to talk to their folks back home. I’m going to e-mail you a detailed medical report that you can share with the docs you normally use, so I’ll just give you the main points now.”

“Good.” Caitlyn grabbed a pad from Anna’s desk in the event he thought of anything that wouldn’t be in the report.

“Ali was injured in the roadside bomb blast that killed his mother. At first glance his injuries seemed minor, but we soon realized his condition was more serious. A blow to the chest from the blast tore an abnormal opening between the two lower chambers of the heart—a ventricular septal tear. We’ve confirmed the diagnosis with an EKG and a sonogram, and I’ve consulted by phone with a cardiologist.”

That sounded serious. Images of Amanda and Josie ran through her mind. “Will we need to schedule immediate surgery?” Caitlyn asked.

“Possibly not, but it’s a tricky situation.” His frown deepened. “The cardiologist feels that the tear could heal on its own. If so, he’ll quickly regain his strength. But if it doesn’t, if the heart begins to fail, the boy needs to be where he can have open heart surgery quickly.”

“So we need to get him back here as soon as possible,” Anna said.

“Right. There’s just no place here that has either the equipment or the pediatric cardiac surgeons who can do the job.”

“We’ll do our best.” Caitlyn scribbled rapid notes to herself. “How is he doing otherwise?”

“His other injuries were minor, fortunately. Of course he’s grieving for his mother.”

Her throat tightened. Like the twins, Ali was yet another child robbed of a mother’s love by war.

“He’s a cute kid.” Dr. Mike’s face creased in a tired smile. “Half the medical team has fallen for him already, and some of the chopper pilots have practically adopted him. We have to chase them out of his room so he can get enough rest.”

“We’ll make sure he gets plenty of attention here, too,” Anna said. “Caitlyn will arrange for a complete workup with a pediatric cardiologist in Austin as soon as he arrives.”

Caitlyn nodded. At least the child wouldn’t have to have surgery the minute he got here. She’d gone over and over the process to have the army fly a foreign national to the United States for treatment. She didn’t anticipate too much difficulty.

“What relative will accompany Ali to the U.S.?” Her pen was poised over the pad.

“None, unfortunately. He doesn’t have a soul left over here.”

“But…” She paused, her mind racing through all the regulations she’d read. “Legally I don’t think we can bring a child who’s a foreign national into the country without a guardian to give permission.”

Anna’s eyes clouded with concern. “We probably can’t even get him out of there without it. Mike, you know the rules. There must be somebody who’s willing to be responsible for the child—a distant cousin, an aunt or grandmother, anyone.”

“Here’s the thing.” Dr. Mike leaned forward, as if he’d like to be in the room with them. “Ali’s mother was married to an American serviceman who died when the boy was three. I’m still working on finding out all the details. The mother lived in a fairly remote village, and she probably used her family name for the child to protect him from discrimination.”

“Are you sure they were actually married?” Anna asked the question Caitlyn had been thinking but hesitated to ask.

“I’ve seen the marriage certificate—it was with her things. The father’s name was Gregory Willis.” He shrugged. “So, the boy’s an American citizen. That has to make a difference.”

Caitlyn rubbed her temples, as if that might make her mind work a little faster. This was not the sort of legal issue that ever came up at her corporate practice in New York, and she certainly wasn’t an expert on family or immigration law.

“Will you send us every bit of legal documentation you can find about the parents’ marriage and the child’s birth? I’m sure we’re going to need it to prove that Ali is an American citizen.” She at least knew that was the place to start.

“Will do.” Mike glanced around. “Gotta go. I’ll send everything I can ASAP. Good luck.”

Before they could say goodbye, he was gone. Anna sat back in her chair, letting out a long breath. “Well. That’s a new one.”

“I was hoping you were going to say that COTD had dealt with a situation just like this before,” Caitlyn said.

“No, I’m afraid this is uncharted territory. It looks as if you have your work cut out for you.”

And while she was struggling to get up to speed, halfway around the world the clock might well be ticking for a small child who’d already lost far too much.

“Aren’t we there yet, Aunt Caitlyn?” Amanda, in her booster seat in the back, kicked her feet against the driver’s seat.

Caitlyn gritted her teeth, making a mental resolution to switch their seats so that Josie would be directly behind her. “Almost.”

She glanced at the directions her mother had written out to the Fort Bonnell pool where the twins had swimming lessons. This was her first visit to the post, and it was far bigger than she’d realized. Everything about coming here seemed strange, including the stop she’d had to make at the visitors’ center to pick up a pass even to drive onto the post.

She’d had to leave the Children of the Day offices just when she felt she was getting a handle on the search for Ali’s parentage, but her mother had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, and she’d promised to take the twins for their lesson.

“I’m going to swim underwater today,” Amanda declared. “Hurry up, please.”

“Me, too,” Josie echoed.

She certainly wasn’t going to “hurry up” beyond the speed limit, not with all these military types around. She passed a unit marching along the roadway, and a tank rumbled past her in the opposite direction.

She didn’t think she’d ever seen so many uniforms in one place before. Funny that she’d never, so far as she remembered, come on the post when she was growing up in Prairie Springs.

Beige-colored buildings stretched down one straight street after another, seeming to go on and on as far as the horizon. Most of them bore signs in some sort of army shorthand that didn’t mean a thing to her. Goodness, Fort Bonnell was a small city on its own, dwarfing Prairie Springs in comparison.

She passed the Fort Bonnell Christian Chapel on her right, one of her mother’s landmarks. Steve’s church. She’d called him there earlier, but he hadn’t been in. She needed to involve him, as military liaison for COTD, in the search for Ali’s father.

She’d confessed to Anna that she was totally out of her depth in dealing with the legal issues of the case. She hated feeling unprepared for any case she took on, but she had to be honest. Her legal background made her at least know the questions to ask, but not the answers.

Anna had been reassuring, referring her to a local attorney, Jake Hopkins, who offered pro bono services to the charity. Unfortunately, Hopkins hadn’t been in either when she’d called, so she’d left a detailed message on his machine, along with her cell phone number. Surely he’d be able to unscramble this. Maybe the answer was something perfectly simple.

She spotted the pool ahead and turned into the parking lot to cheers from the girls. She glanced at her watch. They were on time, but barely. She had a lot to learn about balancing work and kids. How did people do this every day?

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