- -
- 100%
- +
A THEATRE, SHOWYNGE YE HOUSE AMUSED BY YE COMYCKE ACTOR
Friday, October 26, 1849.To the old House in the Market, where I would fain have seen Macbeth, for the Acting as well as the Divertisement; but this not the Night, so went Half-Price, and did see the Unpolished Gem, instead. Touchstone did play Brother Dick, a Country Clown, and his Figure, in a Coat short in the Waist, a huge striped Waistcoat, Trousers too big for him tucked up at the Ankles, Hob-Nail Boots, and a great ill-shaped Hat, mighty droll, and did move the People to clap their Hands and laugh the Moment he come on the Stage. Then did he take off his Hat, and show a red-cropped Head, and smooth down his Hair, and make a Face upon the Audience, whereat they did laugh again, and then turning round show them a Back View of himself, which made them laugh the more. Still greater Laughter the Moment he opened his Mouth, and I did laugh too, as much as any, though I heard not what he said; but only for the Oddness of his Voice, which is such that methinks I could not keep my Countenance to hear him, even if he were speaking Hamlet. Mighty droll to see him in a fine House make himself at Home after the Fashion of a Bumpkin, and hear him in his rustical Drawl and Twang relate all the News and Tattle of his Village. What with his clodhopping Gait, and Awkwardness, and Independence, and Impudence, he did make, methinks, the veriest Lout I did ever see, even in Hampshire. His politeness even droller than his Rudeness, and his Ploughboy Courtesy of kissing his Hand as comical as could be. But I know not well whether I do more prefer his Cocknies or his Clowns; for methinks I have seen him do a Snob as well as a Clodpole, and he is very good in both, whether a rustical Booby or a Whippersnapper Spark; and do use V for W, and misuse or drop his H, and talk the Flash and Cant of the Town mighty natural. But to think how we English People do take Delight in everything that is ridiculous; and how I have seen a Theatre ringing with Merriment at the Sight of Touchstone in a Paper Cap and Apron, with a Baker's Tray, and a Bell, crying "Muffins!" or eating with his Mouth full; or even putting his Arms a-Kimbo, or pulling his Hat over his Eyes, and some of the Audience, and myself too, in Fits almost with Laughter. Methinks that Foreigners are wrong to suppose that we are a melancholy People, and would give up this Notion if they could see us at a broad Farce, and how easily we are pleased, and what Straws will tickle us almost to Death. Home, my Sides aching by Reason of Touchstone's Drolleries, and truly he do make a mighty excellent roguish Buffoon. So to Bed mimicking Touchstone his Voice to my Wife, which did divert her mightily.
A PROSPECTE OF YE ZOOLOGICAL SOCIETYE ITS GARDENS. FEEDYNGE YE BEASTS
Monday, October 29, 1849.To the Zoological Gardens, in the Regent's Park, at 3 p.m., in Time to see the Otter fed with live Fishes, which he do chase round his Basin in the Water, and dive after mighty clever. Then to the Wild Beasts, hungry, in a terrible Rage, as I have seen others than Wild Beasts waiting for Dinner. Some of the Dens with Trees in them for the Beasts to climb in; Lions, old and young, Lionesses, He and She Tigers, a Jaguar, an Ounce, a Cheetah, a Spotted and Black Leopard: and on the other side Hyænas, and Pumas, and more Leopards, and Bears. Their Yelling and Howling for Hunger a most horrid Musique, while the Tigers rear on their hind Legs, and dash at their Bars, and grin and glare at the Children outside. The Ramping and Roaring doubled when the Keeper come with the Meat, and Lack! how they did fly at it with Teeth and Claws, and howl and snort over it, and munch and crunch the Bones! But one Hyæna droll, the Keeper passing him by, and he, thinking he was to go without his Meal, throwing himself on his Back, and moaning, and crying in Despair. Pretty, to see the Bears in their Pit climb up their Post for Buns; which the Visitors did hold to them on the End of a long Stick, and them below fighting for the Morsels that fell; and their Clumsiness, and awkward Standing on their hind Legs. The White Bear, also, swimming in his Tank, pleasant, I being on the outside of his Cage. A fine old Wolf and Cubs, but snarling and snapping over their Victuals, seemed not a Happy Family. Saw the Eagles and Vultures Prey, treading on their Meat, and tearing it up with their Beaks; the Eagles brave, but the Vultures look ignoble. Yet fine the Great Condor Vulture, when the Wind blew, stretching forth his Wings upon it; and glad, no doubt, would have been to sail away. The Parrots gay; but so shriek and squall, that their Abode do seem the Madhouse of the Place. Much taken with the Seal swim in the Water, and waddle out on his Stomach with his Tail and Flappers, like a Fellow with his Legs tied for a Wager. Diverted by the Gambols and Antics of the Monkeys and Apes: yet ashamed to see such vile Likenesses of ourselves: and the Apes especially; and the Crowd of Women and Ladies gazing at them! With Pleasure, yet Horror, did view the Snakes and Lizards in the Reptile House, and glad they could not get at me; but hoped to see the Boa Constrictor swallow a live Rabbit: but did not. Bought Gingerbread Nuts to feed the Elephant, cost me 2d. and he did please me, but I wished he had been bigger; but the Rhinoceros did give me great Delight, and with Mirth heard a Countryman standing by, call him the Hog in Armour. The Bison, with his huge shaggy Head and Mane, Horns, and fiery Eyes, do look the most like a Demon I ever did see. To the Camel-Leopards, graceful Creatures; after the Bison and Rhinoceros. Then about the Gardens to watch the People and the Children stare at, and feed and poke the Animals. Did mark some pretty Damsels, and, having done gazing at the Beasts, gaze at them. So Home, and described to my Wife what I had seen, except the Damsels, and did discourse with her of Natural History; which the Zoological Gardens do breed a pretty Taste for among the People.
WESTMINSTER HALL, SHOWYNGE YE CEREMONYE OF OPENYNGE TERME
Friday, November 2, 1849.Up, and by Appointment to Mr. Wagstaffe's, and so with him to Westminster Hall, to see my Lord Chancellor and the Judges, after Breakfast with my Lord, this being the first Day of Michaelmas Term, open the Law Courts in State, in their Robes and Wigs. We there at 12, the Hour set for the Ceremony, but, we found, only for the Beginning of it by Breakfast, which had we thought of, we had taken our Time, as knowing that my Lords would be sure to take theirs. So clear that we must have Patience, Mr. Wagstaffe did say, like many besides us in Westminster Hall. So out to look at the New Houses of Parliament, and how the Masons speed with the Building, which will be mighty fine when it is done, and Mr. Transom do commend the Style, and I too, both for the Proportions and also for the Heraldry and Lions. Then back again to the Hall, where now a few more People; and presently comes marching in a Party of Policemen, large enough to have taken up all present, and yet hardly have had one Prisoner a-piece; But the Numbers did by Degrees increase, and were, I did note, mostly of the better Sort; thank the Police. Among them divers Barristers-at-Law, some with their Sisters, some with their Wives, or such as did seem like to be their Wives, many of whom mighty comely Damsels, and were a Sight I never expected, not thinking they could care for Law Matters, or to see the Judges, 2d.; but strange how Women do flock to every Concourse, whether it be to see or only to be seen. There for the first Time I did behold Mr. Tomkyns, the young Barrister, in his Wig, wherein he do look mighty sedate, and I telling him I hoped he would come to open Term himself, made answer as it might be some while first, he wished I might live to see it. The people now crowding about the Doors of the Courts, the Police did make a Lane between them for my Lord Chancellor and the Judges to walk down, and Mr. Wagstaffe did call it Chancery Lane. My Lords still not coming, he did observe that now we had a Sample of the Law's Delay, and did pleasantly lay the Lateness of the Breakfast to the Account of the Master of the Rolls. But they at last come, and we opposite the Court of Common Pleas got a good View of them to my Heart's Content. First comes the Mace, and a gentleman in his Court Suit, wearing a Sword and Bag, and with them the Great Seal; then my Lord Chancellor, and did walk down to his Court at the end of the Hall, looking the better of his Sickness, which I was glad of. After him the other Judges, of whom most did enter the Door whereby we were, and mighty reverend they looked, but merry and in good Humour, and beamy and ruddy after their Breakfast. But to see Mr. Justice Talfourd come last of all, shaking Hands with his Friends on both Sides, he newly made a Judge, being a Poet, did most content me; and Mr. Wagstaffe did say he looked in good Case and by no means puisne. The Judges all entered, the Rabblement let into the Hall, and we away, fearing for our Pockets; which are like to be very soon emptied in Westminster Hall.
A PROSPECTE OF YE 5TH OF NOVEMBER
Monday, Nov. 5, 1849. – Guy Fawkes' Day.At Breakfast this Morning off a new-laid Egg, cost me 2d., but cheap for the Time of Year, did hear a shrill Hallooing in the Street, which my Wife told me was made by the Boys, going by with their Guy Fawkes. So on this, Guy Fawkes his Day, did in Haste swallow my Breakfast, put on my Boots and Over-Coat, and so out and about the Streets and Squares to see the Sport, the Bells ringing for Church, and a Scarecrow of a Guy, borne by Urchins on a Handbarrow, with Rough Musique at almost every Turn and Corner. Guy Fawkes his Effigies, with his Fingers sticking out like Spikes, and his Feet all awry, his Body and Limbs stuffed with Straw, a Mask for his Face, with a Pipe in the Mouth, and a Lantern and Tinder-Box dangling from his Wrist, and on his Head a Paper Cap, like an old Grenadier's, but a Cross on it, and meant for the Pope his Crown. I thought to see Guy with his Company, borne by the Police in State to the Station House, but they this Year mostly let alone, and more Guys, and ragged Regiments of Boys shouting after them, than ever. The Varlets, as they went, repeating Doggrel Verses, bidding to remember the Day, and asking whomsoever they met for Money for a Bonfire to burn their Guy, and did beg of me; but I would not fling my Money into the Fire. But Lack to think of the Delight I do take in Guy Fawkes, because of his ridiculous Figure, and recollecting how I loved to play with Fireworks on this Day when a Boy; though I know what a Libel is the Holyday on the Roman Catholiques, and the good Reason, though the Doggrel say to the contrary, why Gunpowder Treason should be forgot. But some, who should have known better, did give the Rogues Halfpence and encourage them in a show of Bigotry; albeit the young Ragamuffins know not what it do mean, and care only for the Frolick and Halfpence. From Westminster, by the Back Ways and Streets to Fleet Street, Squibs and Crackers in the Courts and Alleys fizzing and bouncing all the Way, and did in Fleet Street dine at a Chop-house, cost me, with Beer and Punch, 2s.; and so to Tower Hill, where the Banging and Blazing of the Fireworks the greatest of all; and the Roman Candles and Pin-wheels mighty pretty; but some letting off Guns and Pistols put me in Fear. Here presently I did hear a Popping and Cracking behind me; which was a Cracker pinned by some Scapegrace to my Coat-Tail, and did make me jump, and the Standers-by to laugh: which did vex me to the Heart; and Mr. Gregory do say, served me right for countenancing such Doings. But to see the Mob flinging Serpents at each other, and burning and singeing one another like Devils, did much divert me, till a Squib whizzing past me did scorch me in the Face. Truly Guy Fawkes his Day this Time was mighty well kept, and Mr. Howlett do say its better Observance is a revival of Protestant Spirit; but I do agree with Mr. Wagstaffe that Protestancy is not a Doctrine of Fireworks, and must own it were better to bury Guy Fawkes, and not burn him any more.
A BANQUET SHOWYNGE YE FARMERS' FRIEND IMPRESSYNGE ON YE AGRICULTURAL INTEREST THAT IT IS RUINED
Monday, November 19, 1849.By Rail to Clod's Norton, to my old Country Friend Mr. Giles the Farmer, and with him to the Meeting and yearly Dinner of the North Gruntham Agricultural Society at Grumbleton, at the Plantagenet Arms. A mighty fine and great Dinner; and the Appetite of the Company droll to observe, and hear Mr. Giles declare that all the Farmers were starving. I did mightily admire the Breadth and Bigness of the Countrymen, and their round Faces like the Sign of the Rising Sun, but not so bright, for though ruddy, looking glum. My Lord Mountbushel in the Chair, very grand and high and mighty, yet gently demeaning himself, and did pledge them about him in Wine with an Obeisance the most stately I think that I did ever see a Man, and wish I could do like him, and with Practice hope to be able. The Dinner over, and the Queen drunk, and the Royal Family, and also the Church and Army and Navy all drunk, the Chairman did propose the Toast of the Evening, which was, Prosperity to the North Gruntham Agricultural Society, and made a Speech, and did tell his Hearers that they and the whole Farming Body were going to the Dogs as fast as they could go; whereat, strange to hear them applaud mightily. He ended his Speech by saying he hoped Gentlemen would that Evening, according to Custom, keep clear of Politics, which Rule Squire Hawebucke next rising to speak, did promise he would observe, and forthwith made a violent Harangue against Sir Robert Peel and Mr. Cobden. After him got up Mr. Flummerie, and with great Action, and thumping the Table, spoke for Half-an-Hour, with most brave Flourishes both of his Fists and of Language. He did tell his Audience that they must be up and stirring, and quit them like good Men and true, and did exhort them to rally round the Altar and Throne, and nail their Colours to the Mast, and range themselves under the Banner of Protection; which he did say was a Flag that had braved 1,000 Years the Battle and the Breeze, and if so, should, methinks, be by this time in Tatters. He did say that the British Lion had been long asleep, but was now at last aroused, which do seem a simple Saying, the British Lion being only a fabulous Beast, like the Unicorn, also in the Royal Arms. But to hear how the Company did cheer at this Mouthing, albeit it was the veriest Cant and Stuff; for, good Lack! to think of the Monarchy and Church, and all Morals, Religion, and Government, depending on the price of Wheat! After more Speeches in the same Strain, the British Labourer his Health drunk, and then the Prizes given out; and an old Man of 80, for bringing up a Family without costing the Parish 1d. in 50 Years, did receive £1, and others for honest Service nigh as long, a Jacket, a Smock Frock, or a Pair of Hob-Nail Boots, in Reward of Merit. The Toasts and Speech-making lasted till late, and then we broke up, the Farmers mighty merry, though grumbling, but not more than their Wont, at the Laws and the Weather, but their best Friends say, will have little to complain of either, if they will but mind their Business, and turn seriously to improving their Husbandry.
APPEARANCE OF YE CRYMYNYAL COURTE DURING AN "INTERESTYNG" TRYAL FOR MURDER
Friday, November 30, 1849.Up, and did take my Wife, with a Party of Friends, to the Old Bailey, my Wife having a great Longing to see a Prisoner tried, especially for Murder, and little Pleasure as she do take, poor Wretch, I could not find in my Heart to deny her this. Got our Places in the Gallery, cost me 10s., which did begrudge, and do think it a Scandal to the City to have Money taken at the Old Bailey Doors, as at a Play, yet it do serve to keep the Company choice. And, good Lack! to see the Assemblage of great Folks about us, we sitting close by Sir Jessamie Spinkes, and my Lord Pouncett, and two or three other Lords on the Bench by my Lords the Judges, and the Aldermen, did make the Place look as fine almost as the Opera. But in Truth it was as good as a Play, if not better, to hear the Barristers speak to the Jury, especially the Counsel for the Prisoners, making believe to be mightily concerned for their Clients, though most observable Rogues, and arguing in their Behalf through Thick and Thin, and striving as hard as they could to prove the Black, that did come out in Evidence against them, White; and pleading their Cause as though they were injured Innocents, with smiting of the Breast, and turning up of the Eyes, more natural than I remember I did ever see any Actor. But methinks they did go a little too far when, cross-examining the Witnesses, they strove to entangle them in their Talk, and confound them, trying to make them blunder, so as to mislead the Jury, which do seem to me only telling a Lie by the Witness his Mouth. And then to hear them labour to destroy the Witnesses' Credit, and make their Oath suspected; and them, however honest, seem Perjurers; and to think that they do practise all this Wickedness only for the Lucre of their Fees! Among the Prisoners some of the most horrid Ruffians that methinks I ever did see, and some, when found guilty and sentenced even to Transportation, skipping out of the Dock, and snapping their Fingers, which did remind me of the Saying, "Merry as Thieves." But others looking mighty dismal, and when the Evidence did tell against them, turning pale and shivering, and we had Eye-Glasses we took with us on Purpose, and through our Eye-Glasses did watch the Quivering of their Features, which, Heaven forgive us! we did take Delight in. Using Eye-Glasses did the more make it seem as if I were at a Play, and what did jump with the Notion was the Bunches of Rue on the Dock in Front of the Prisoners, seeming almost like Nosegays, which glad I am that my Wife and our other Ladies had not with them, for so taken were they with the ranting Barristers and hang-Gallows Ruffians, that I do verily believe they would have flung their Posies to them if they had. Strange that we do make such Account of Criminals, and will sit for Hours to see how it goes with a Villain, when we would not spare five Minutes to the Cause of many an honest Man. But for one good Reason I did take Pleasure in the Old Bailey, which was the Fairness of the Trials, and the Patience of the Judge, and Justness of his summing up, which do cause me mightily to reverence our Law, and to hear and see was pretty.
A PROMENADE CONCERTE
Thursday, December 6, 1849.Did set me Wife, poor Wretch! this Evening to mending my Socks, and myself to Drury Lane, to Monsieur Jullien his Concert. The first Part of the Concert all Dr. Mendelssohn his Musique, which I did long mightily to hear, and, so to do in Comfort, buy a Ticket for the Dress Circle, cost me 2s. 6d., but found the Seats all full, and obliged to stand the whole While, which made me mad, but a pretty full-eyed young Lady being forced to stand too, and close by me, though with her Brother, did comfort me a little, not that she could not sit, but that she was by me. Heard a Symphony that did well please me, seeming to lift me into the Clouds, and was mighty mystical and pretty; and the Musique in the Midsummer Night's Dream did give me much Delight, the Twittering throughout the Overture putting me in Mind of Singing-Birds and Fairies and I know not what, and the sleepy Passages very sweet and lulling. Mightily taken with the Prelude to the Mock-Tragedy, Bottom his March, as droll Musique as I ever heard; but what did most of all delight me was the Wedding March, a noble Piece, and I did rejoice therein, and do think to hire a Band to play it under our Window on my Wedding Day. Monsieur Jullien in his white Waistcoat and with his Moustachios mighty spruce and as grand as ever, and did conduct the Musique, but so quietly in the first Part that I could scarce have believed it, and methought showed Reverence for the Composer; which was handsome. But good Lack! to see him presently, when he come to direct "God Save the Queen," flourish his Batoon, and act the mad Musician! All the Company rising and taking off their Hats to hear that majestical Anthem, presently some most ridiculous and impertinent Variations set all the House a laughing and some hissing, and I do suspect Monsieur Jullien had a special Audience this night, that would not away with such Tricks. Between the Parts of the Concert, I into the Pit to walk about among the Sparks, where a great Press, the House crammed to the Ceiling. In the Refreshment and Reading Rooms, young Blades and Lasses drinking of Coffee and eating of Ices, and Reading of the News, with Shrubs and Statues round about, and the House all White and Gold, and brightly lighted, mighty gay; and the Sparks jaunty, but not, I think, wearing such flaming Neckcloths and Breast Pins as they were wont. Heard in Part second some Musique of the Prophète, full of Snorting of Brass Instruments and Tinkling of Triangles, and a long Waltz that did give me the Fidgets, and nothing please me at all, save Jetty Treffz her singing of "Trab, trab," which was pretty. Lastly, the Row-Polka played, and well-named and very droll and absurd, with Chiming-in of Voices and other monstrous Accompaniments, a good ridiculous rough Musique. But many of the Hearers did hiss, methought with Unreason, the Polka being no emptier than any other Polka, and having some Joke in it. Home, the Wedding March running in my Head, and glad to find good Musique drawing so great a House, which I do hope will be a Hint to Monsieur Jullien.
YE SERPENTYNE DURING A HARD FROST. YE PUBLIQUE UPON IT
Tuesday, January 29, 1850.Up, and after Breakfast, to which a new laid Egg at this Time of Year cost me 2d., to Hyde Park to see the Skating on the Serpentine, very admirable and mighty good Mirth. The Members of the Skating Club, with their Booth by the Ice mighty select, yet do as it were perform for the Amusement of the British Publique. Pretty to see them cut out Figures of 8, and in a Sort dance Quadrilles upon the Ice, which I very much wish I could do myself, but cannot skate at all, and never could, but whenever I tried to always tumbled down, generally a Squat, which hurt me. Upon the Ice all sorts of People high and low, great and little, old and young, Women and Children, indeed a Multitude of the British Publique altogether. With their Hollaing and Shouting a continual Roar like the Cawing and Clacking of innumerable Rooks and Jackdaws. Pretty to see the Chairs and Forms on the Brink of the Ice, where dirty Boys and Men do ply with Skates for Hire, and kneeling and screwing and straping them on to Skater's Feet turn a good Penny. Many fine Girls also, both fair and black, skating in their warm Furs and Muffs mighty snug and elegant, please me most of all; and a Troop of Schoolgirls walk two and two along the Shore very pretty. Fun to see how the Skaters do throw themselves into all manner of Postures, and how many of them tumble down, and sprawl about, and roll over one another topsy-turvy, and kick their Heels in the Air. Also the Unskilful beginning to learn to skate helped on to the Ice, and an old Woman pulled on by a lively Urchin, make me laugh heartily. But the most ridiculous Sight the Lower Sort, not skating but sliding, Butcher Lads, and Costermongers, and Street Boys with Sticks and Bludgeons in their Hands, and some in their Mouths short Pipes, smoking while they slide, which I wonder how they can. Good Lack, to see them come the Cobbler's Knock as they say, and keep the Pot a-boiling! Likewise how of a Fellow upon the Ice with a Potato Can upon a Fire-Basket, they buy and eat roast Potatoes which the Sellers cry Taturs all hot! The Street Boys, too, where the Ice at the Sides thin, flock together nigh the Edge, and throw Stones breaking the Ice, and I did hear one of the Varlets as his Pebble crash through cry, "There goes a Window," and could not but laugh, though I would fain have boxed his Ears. On Top of a Pole in one Part of the Ice a Board marked "Dangerous," nevertheless many so foolhardy as to skate close to it, until at last the Ice broke and a Fool went in and was like to have drowned, but the Humane Society's Men did come with Drags, and one of them fish him out by the Scuff of his Trowsers, mighty laughable. They carry him off to the Receiving House, where they chafe and wrap him in warm Blankets to bring him to, and give him hot Brandy and Water to recruit him and send him Home Comfortable, and so reward him for his Folly, and encourage other Fools to imitate his silly Example. Methinks such an idle Companion were well served if, instead of getting hot Grog, he were sent Home with a good Hiding.