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She pasted a smile on her face as she turned back.
‘I’m Dr Bradford,’ she said. ‘How can I help you?’
The man got to his feet. He was tall, Sophie noted, well over six feet, although he looked a little stooped right now. As if he was over-tired. Or sad, maybe. His jaw was shadowed as if he hadn’t shaved for a while and his dark hair looked tousled, as if he’d run his fingers through it more than once recently. In the same instant she had the thought, he raised his hand and rubbed at his forehead, exactly the way her father had done earlier and, yes, he completed the action by shoving his fingers through his hair.
Then he nodded.
‘I’m Finn Connelly,’ he told her. ‘I’m…ah…sorry for turning up like this without an appointment.’
The Irish accent confirmed her assumption that he was a tourist.
‘That’s okay,’ Sophie said. She smiled at him, because he certainly looked like he needed a bit of reassurance, and instinct told her that it wasn’t something he normally needed. For some reason, this man was way out of his comfort zone and part of her job was to provide a safe environment. Besides, he did look sad, and that never failed to tug at her heartstrings, but there was more than sympathy happening here. There was a pull that she didn’t understand and it was putting her slightly out of her own comfort zone.
‘We’re always available for emergencies,’ she added.
Shifting her gaze to the seats behind the stranger, she smiled even more warmly at the children.
‘Hi there,’ she said. ‘What are your names?’
The girls stared at her but said nothing. They looked more than a little frightened and Sophie felt a beat of alarm. What, exactly, was going on here? Children who were scared of going to see a doctor would normally be clinging to their parents, not sitting there like two little mop-haired statues.
That hair…
Clouds of tangled blonde ringlets. Impossible to comb without causing pain. Sophie knew what it was like to have hair like that.
The sudden chill that ran down her spine almost made her shiver visibly. She swallowed carefully.
‘So who’s sick?’ she asked. ‘Or has there been an accident?’
‘Nobody’s sick,’ the man said quietly. ‘I…um…is there somewhere we could have a quiet word?’ The movement of his head, along with the expression in a pair of very dark eyes, was easy to interpret. This Finn Connelly wanted to talk to her somewhere the children couldn’t overhear.
‘There’s no one else here,’ Sophie said apologetically. ‘I can’t leave the children unattended in the waiting room.’
She wasn’t sure she wanted to go somewhere private with this man, either. Again, her instinct was giving her a clear message, and this time it was warning her that she wasn’t going to like what she might hear. Had these children been abused in some way? Were they in danger?
She actually jumped when a door behind her opened.
‘I forgot my bag.’ Judy hurried towards the reception desk and bent to retrieve it. ‘I was so worried about Dad that I just left it behind.’ She straightened up and then froze when she saw that Sophie was talking to someone.
‘Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.’
‘It’s okay.’ Sophie straightened her back. Fate was giving her a push here and she had a moral obligation to comply. ‘Could you spare a minute, Mum?’
‘Of course.’ Judy came out from behind the counter.
‘Could you keep an eye on these children for a minute? Their dad wants to talk to me.’
‘Oh…’ The different note in her mother’s voice advertised that she was instantly aware that something a little odd was happening.
‘I’m not their father,’ Finn said. ‘I’m their uncle. This is Ellie. And that’s Emma.’
Judy had stepped closer. She was staring at the little girls and Sophie watched in horror as the colour drained from her mother’s face. She moved fast as she saw her start to sway on her feet, but it was Finn who caught Judy before she crumpled completely.
This was unbelievable. Both her parents having dizzy spells on the same day? Was there some horrible virus going around? That would be a catastrophe that could potentially close this health centre on which her community depended.
But Judy seemed to be recovering quickly. She clung to Finn’s arm as he helped her towards the chair behind the reception desk, and then she sat, taking several deep breaths before raising her head.
‘Sorry,’ she murmured. ‘But it’s like seeing a ghost. Two ghosts…’
‘What do you mean?’ Sophie had followed them and now had her hand on her mother’s wrist, feeling for her pulse.
Judy’s mouth opened. And then closed again. Her gaze slid away from Sophie’s, back to the other side of the waiting room to where the children were still sitting quietly, and then up, to the man who was towering above her.
‘Who are you?’ she asked.
‘And why are you here?’ Sophie added. Her words came out sharply. She’d been aware of her own anxiety about this situation but the fact that it had affected her mother so dramatically made it unacceptable. She wanted the truth. And she wanted it now.
‘I think you’ve guessed,’ Finn said slowly. ‘Or your mother has, anyway.’
‘Mum?’
But Judy didn’t seem capable of finding any words. It was Finn who spoke.
‘It’s Ellie and Emma,’ he said, so quietly there was no chance of either of them hearing what he was saying. ‘They’re your daughters, Sophie.’
CHAPTER TWO
THIS COULDN’T BE HAPPENING.
They had promised her that nothing like this could ever happen.
And yet, here it was. Happening.
The shock waves kept on rolling in. There was no point at all in trying to summon denial to deal with this. At some level, Sophie realised, she’d known from that first instant with that puzzling sense of recognition when she’d seen the twins. And her poor mother…
No wonder Judy had almost fainted with the shock of feeling as if she’d stepped back three decades in time and was seeing not only her own young daughter again but seeing double.
How could anyone think it was acceptable to shock people like this? Her mother could have had a heart attack. Sophie was already worried about her father’s state of health and now that anxiety had just increased exponentially to include her mother. As for her own state of mind… Well, she wasn’t even going to go there right now. This should not be happening. For this man to have tracked her down meant that somebody, somewhere—perhaps in the very IVF clinic she and Matthew had used themselves—had broken confidentiality.
Had broken the law?
Okay. Sophie knew how she felt now. Angry. Furious, in fact.
‘You shouldn’t be here,’ she hissed fiercely, keeping her voice as low as possible. ‘How did you even find out who I was?’
Finn was still watching her intently after dropping that bombshell, so she couldn’t miss the flash of…guilt? Yes, that was what it was all right. He knew he’d done something he shouldn’t have. But it was gone as fast as it had appeared and what took its place looked disturbingly like defiance. Finn Connelly might know he’d done something that could get him into serious trouble but he was prepared to stand up for himself. He had a reason for doing this and he believed he could defend it.
Judy took a gulp of air in. And then another. Sophie had to admire the way her mother was pulling herself together. She was staring at the two children on the other side of the room and she was also protecting them from hearing any of this conversation. Her voice was a whisper.
‘This has something to do with the eggs you donated, Sophie, doesn’t it? These girls are your biological children? My…’
The whisper cracked and faded into silence but what she’d been about to say hung in the air as loudly as if it had been spoken.
My grandchildren…
This…this stunt…hadn’t just detonated an emotional bomb in her own life, it was going to affect other people. Her parents. They’d had to grieve the loss of their son-in-law and then the devastating extra loss of their unborn grandchild. It had taken years for them all to accept those losses and build a new version of their lives but they had done it. Together. With the help of a loyal and close community.
This was such a slap in their faces. A living, breathing reminder of what had been lost. These were someone else’s children but they were what her own would have looked like. Who could have known that the genes for her type of uncontrollable hair were so strong? Sophie could feel the sharp teeth of her own grief against her heart, getting ready to bite with a force she hadn’t had to deal with for years. Her mother shouldn’t have to cope with this as well—it was just so unfair.
But Judy seemed to be coping better than she was herself. She looked up at the two people who were staring at each other over her head and then she pushed herself to her feet. She was still pale, but seemed quite steady as she turned to Finn.
‘You know what? I’m thinking you’ve had a long drive, haven’t you?’
Finn nodded slowly. ‘We’ve come from Wexford, in Ireland. Took the earliest ferry.’
‘You must be very tired.’ Judy’s tone held the kind of sympathy that made her patients comfortable to follow any advice she might have to offer. ‘And those little girls are probably exhausted.’
She walked towards the twins. Sophie found herself holding her breath. Her mother was the quintessential maternal figure—more than a little overweight, a bit rumpled, with a smile so genuine nobody could resist smiling back—and babies and children adored her.
How would these subdued little girls respond? Could they actually be aware, at some subconscious level, that there was such a strong genetic link?
‘You’re Ellie, aren’t you?’ Judy was smiling. ‘No…you’re Emma. I’m right, yes?’
The twins nodded. They couldn’t possibly be aware of any link, Sophie thought, but there was no mistaking that they were falling under Judy Greene’s spell.
‘Would you like to come with me?’ she asked. ‘I’m thinking that you’re probably very hungry. Am I right?’
Her query earned another nod. Slightly more enthusiastic this time, and Sophie heard what sounded like a defeated sigh escape from Finn.
‘Let’s put your hoods up. It’s raining outside but we don’t have far to go.’ Judy had a twin holding each of her hands as she came back towards where Finn and Sophie were still standing.
‘If it’s all right with you,’ she said to Finn, ‘I’m going to take the girls to the house and give them something to eat.’
Finn seemed to be falling under her spell as well. He just nodded.
‘You two need to talk,’ Judy added.
‘But…what about Dad?’ Sophie caught her mother’s gaze. Her father had already given them a health scare. Wasn’t it a risk to add this shocking development to an already tough day?
‘He’s fine,’ Judy said. ‘All he needed was some food and a rest.’
‘But…’ Desperately, Sophie tried to grasp some element of control in an impossible situation. It might be better if her father didn’t see these children. ‘He might guess. Like you did…’
‘We can hardly keep it a secret, Sophie.’ Her mother’s gaze was steady. ‘It’s already too late for that. Talk to—’ Her eyebrows rose as she turned her head.
‘Finn,’ he supplied. ‘Finn Connelly.’
‘Talk to Finn.’ Judy nodded. ‘And then you can come and talk to me and Dad.’
The twins seemed happy to follow her towards the back door of the clinic. Judy paused as she opened it.
‘And make that poor lad a cup of tea, Sophie. He looks done in.’
The mechanics of making a cup of tea in the tiny kitchenette of the clinic were helpful. The actions of filling the electric jug and pushing the button to make it work, opening a cupboard to take out mugs, opening the old toffee tin to find some teabags—was a curiously normal bubble in the aftermath of the explosion.
Had her mother known that it would make Sophie feel a little calmer?
‘Do you take milk?’
‘Yes.’
‘Sugar.’
‘Yes, please. Two.’
Sophie poured boiling water into the mugs and then paused to wait for them to steep. She didn’t turn to where she knew Finn was leaning against the wall.
‘You can’t have done it legally.’
His hesitation said it all. ‘Not exactly, no…’
She turned to hand him a mug and then waited for him to lift his gaze again.
‘So who broke the law?’
His gaze shuttered. ‘I’m not saying. I will say that she’s a friend of mine and…and she was persuaded by the circumstances.’
Sophie sipped at her own drink but she was eyeing Finn over the rim of her mug. Yeah…with those looks and that Irish brogue, she had no doubt that he could turn on the charm and persuade women to do whatever he wanted them to.
Well…she wasn’t one of those women, even if she had been drawn to give him a lingering second glance when she’d first laid eyes on him.
‘You want a biscuit?’
‘No, thanks. I’m not hungry. Could we…ah…sit down somewhere for a moment?’
Sophie would have been quite happy to have this conversation standing up. It wasn’t as if it was going to be a cosy chat, was it? But her mother had been right in saying that this uninvited guest looked done in. Well-honed instincts suggested that he might even be unwell given that it wasn’t warm enough in here to have provoked what looked like a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead. She’d had more than enough people threatening to collapse on her today already.
‘Fine…come with me.’
The chairs in her consulting room were still as she’d positioned them to talk to Shirley. Side by side instead of one in front and one behind the desk. Briefly, Sophie considered dragging her chair to make the desk a kind of protective barrier but the unexpected gesture of Finn waiting for her to be seated first made it a step too far. Or maybe it was the hint of a crooked smile—as if he knew exactly how she might be feeling and he was offering an apology.
She did, however, shuffle the chair further away from the one he took. There was definitely no need to be within hand-holding distance this time.
‘So…’ Sophie put her mug down on top of a medical journal she hadn’t had time to open yet. ‘What kind of circumstances were enough to persuade this friend of yours to break the law?’
Finn had both his hands wrapped around the mug because it was providing a source of warmth that his body was currently craving.
He hadn’t felt this cold since…oh, no…not since he’d picked up that dose of malaria when he’d backpacked through Thailand on his way to Australia. Now the lack of appetite and his headache could be attributed to more than the stress he was dealing with. This could be yet another problem but, right now, there was a bigger issue to address. A whole heap bigger.
‘Ten years or so ago,’ he told Sophie, ‘my brother, Sean, met and fell in love with a nurse. Stella, her name was.’
Never mind that he’d been the one who’d met Stella first. That he had fallen in love with her first. That he’d taken her home to Ireland that Christmas with the intention of popping the question. Sophie didn’t need to know the sordid details of his family’s betrayal and his subsequent estrangement from them.
‘They wanted to have a family straight away,’ he continued. ‘But it wasn’t happening. They spent years trying and having investigations and, in the end, it turned out that it wasn’t going to happen naturally at all. Stella had had major problems with endometriosis and it had apparently affected the quality of her eggs. The only way they were going to have kids was by egg donation.’
Sophie made an impatient noise. ‘I don’t need the back story,’ she muttered. ‘However touching it is. I want to know why you’re here, with these children, on my doorstep. What you’re expecting me to do?’
‘I don’t expect anything.’ Finn closed his eyes.
He was telling the truth. He didn’t expect anything, especially in the face of the defensiveness that was radiating from this Sophie Bradford. He’d known she would be shocked but he could actually feel the solid barriers she had put up around her. This wasn’t just the last thing she had expected to happen. It was the last thing she had wanted to happen. He wasn’t about to let the future of his nieces be influenced by someone who didn’t even care. It was more than disappointing, however. On some level, it felt as if he already knew this woman. He certainly would have recognised her in the street after the amount of time he had now spent with his nieces. They were gorgeous children. This Sophie Bradford was a gorgeous woman—to outward appearances, anyway…
The coldness that had seemed bone-deep was ebbing fast. Being replaced by heat. He had the medication he knew he needed but it was in his bag in the car. He couldn’t exactly excuse himself and go to fetch it, could he? He opened his eyes and focused on the woman beside him. This wouldn’t take long. He could tell her what she needed to know and then leave her to think about it. He would go and find the girls and then find somewhere to crash for the night and, if he dosed himself up well enough and got a good night’s sleep, maybe tomorrow would bring more than a new day. Maybe it would bring some kind of solution?
‘Okay…’ He kept his voice matter-of-fact. ‘Three weeks ago Sean and Stella were in a car crash. The kids were home with a babysitter. Stella was killed instantly. Sean was badly injured and in a coma. He was put on life support and I was contacted as next of kin. I flew back to find that my role as the closest relative was to give permission to turn off the life support and make his organs available for donation. There was a double funeral for them yesterday.’
Finn could feel sweat trickling down between his shoulder blades and prickling at his hairline. He rubbed his forehead and wasn’t surprised to feel the alarming heat on his skin. He was sick all right, and getting rapidly sicker. It was getting harder to focus as well.
‘Are you all right?’ Sophie’s voice sounded oddly distant.
‘I will be. It’s just a bit of a relapse, that’s all. I know how to deal with it. I’m a doctor myself.’
She was silent. Was his brain playing tricks on him already or did the silence feel judgemental? Maybe she thought he was an alcoholic, perhaps? Or a drug addict, or on death’s doorstep from something like leukaemia?
‘Who’s been looking after the children?’
‘They were taken into foster care after the accident but I took them back to their own house with the help of a nanny while things got sorted. As their guardian, it was obviously my responsibility to make decisions about their future, along with planning the funerals and everything.’
There was another silence. What had the question been? Oh, yeah…why was he here?
‘It didn’t seem right to hand Ellie and Emma over to Social Services for fostering or adoption when they had a living relative who had no idea what was going on. It’s not that I’m expecting anything… I just thought you had the right to know, that’s all.’
Sophie’s breath came out in a huff that sounded incredulous. ‘What about you? You’re their guardian. And you’re alive…’ Her tone changed into one of concern. ‘Although you’re not looking that great at the moment. Maybe I should have a look at you…’
Finn could feel his energy levels dropping alarmingly. He couldn’t even start to feel that disappointment morphing into any kind of resentment that he’d come up against a human brick wall who had no interest in her biological children. All he wanted to do was find a bed and curl up. To take his pills and then ride out the fever and chills until he could surface and think clearly again. But he didn’t have that choice, did he? Somehow, he had to keep going.
‘My life is in Australia,’ he told her. ‘I’m single and that’s not about to change. I work in the Outback with the Flying Doctor service and I have a punishing roster. I live on the base, and I can get called out at any time, and there’s no guarantee of when I’ll get back. It’s no place to raise kids.’
‘They’re your nieces.’
‘I hadn’t even met them until I had to turn off their father’s life support.’
The silence this time held an edge of shock. Curiosity, too, perhaps, but Finn wasn’t about to tell her anything else. With a huge effort he pushed himself to his feet.
‘This was a mistake,’ he said. Was it his imagination or were his words a little slurred? ‘I’m sorry.’
Why had he thought it was remotely the right thing to do? Because he’d felt guilty? He hadn’t needed Sophie to remind him that he’d broken ethical codes, if not the law, in getting the information he’d needed to track her down.
What had he thought might happen here? That he’d find a woman who already had her own family but had been altruistic enough to donate eggs to help someone else achieve the bliss of motherhood? That she’d instantly recognise the biological bond and welcome some new additions with open arms?
The way her mother seemed to have done?
Finn shook his head. Where had the mother taken the girls? He needed to find them and get out of here. But shaking his head had been a mistake. It triggered a spinning sensation that rapidly escalated. He tried to catch the edge of the desk to steady himself but only succeeded in knocking over the mug of tea that he’d never finished drinking. He watched the puddle of liquid spreading to reach a stack of medical journals as Sophie leapt to her feet.
‘Sorry,’ he said again. ‘I’m really sorry.’
And then he felt her arm go around his waist.
‘I don’t believe this,’ he heard her mutter as she looped his arm around her neck. ‘Not again…’
He was moving now. Towards the bed in the corner of this consulting room. He was being helped up the step and being turned so that he could sit and then lie down. The spinning hadn’t stopped but the pillow felt cool and soft.
So did Sophie’s hand against his forehead.
A soft touch, he thought. Nice…
‘What’s going on, Finn?’ There was no animosity in her tone now. She had a patient and she was determined to help him. ‘What’s wrong with you?’
‘Malaria… Had it once before but this is the first relapse. I’ve got the drugs I need…out in my car…laptop bag…’
‘Keys?’
‘In my pocket.’
He felt her hand against his hip and then the rattle of the keys being extracted; then, as the shivering kicked in, the weight of a woollen blanket being draped over his body.
‘Don’t move,’ she ordered. ‘I’ll be right back.’
CHAPTER THREE
THE PACKET OF TABLETS, a combination therapy for the treatment of malaria, was easy enough to find in the bag that Sophie carried back into her consultation room in North Cove’s medical centre.
Finding head space where she could even start trying to process this turn of events in her life was rather more difficult.
Impossible, even.
Her daughters? Hardly. The mother of those two little girls was a woman called Stella who’d chosen to bring them into existence. Who’d carried them in her belly for nine months and given birth to them.
It would be a different story if she’d had these babies herself and then given them up for adoption but her only contribution had been an egg donation. She’d given up some biological material to be used by someone who’d had need of it.
Like giving a blood donation. It had been made and that was the end of it.
So why did it feel as if an uncontrollable series of future events was only just beginning?
It was too huge even to know where to start.
And she had something more important to think about right now, in any case.
‘I’m not sure I’m happy to hand out drugs without making a clinical diagnosis,’ she told Finn.
He looked as though it was taking an effort to open his eyes. Such dark eyes, Sophie noticed, that it was hard to tell if his pupils were dilated or not. And, when his gaze touched hers again, there was something different about it. Because she knew why he was here, now?