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Iantha again retreated into staring at the fire. “Mama also says that. But as you are well aware, Lord Duncan, most of the world does not share that opinion.”
“Most of the world be damned! Will you allow yourself to be held prisoner in the wilds of Cumberland by narrow minds?” A frown drew his lordship’s dark eyebrows together.
“I am not a prisoner, my lord. I go into society occasionally—to small neighborhood affairs. And Mama entertains. My parents have urged me to visit London, but… I… I do not want to go. Word of the incident spread like wildfire through the ton. Everyone knows. And beside that, it is very difficult for me to be with a large group of people.” How could she make him understand?
The suffocating.
The bodies brushing against hers.
The constant struggle against panic. Iantha shuddered.
And of course, there were the hushed whispers and the occasional snicker. And the looks of sympathy. Suddenly the anger began to rise. She fought it back until she could say, quite evenly, “I do not require your pity, Lord Duncan.”
“And I, therefore, do not offer it.”
He looked her steadily in the eyes.
“Then why are you so insistent on making this proposal?”
He sighed and leaned back in the chair. “I am not sure. A large part of it is that I hate injustice. I have an ardent desire to correct it. But…” He grinned suddenly. “I believe that a larger part of my determination stems from the fact that I have recently made the acquaintance of a most fascinating female. One who is not only lovely, but who is intelligent and talented and adventurous. I have a strong need for adventure myself—and for someone to share it with me.”
“But you returned from your great adventure in India. Did you tire of it?”
Lord Duncan sobered. “No. No, I finally realized that part of my life is over.” He took a turn at gazing into the fire. Iantha waited for him to gather his thoughts. “You see, I married there—a lovely Indian lady. She died two years ago.”
“You are still grieving.”
“In a way I suppose I am. I will certainly never forget her. But more than that, I am lonely. I miss them….” He rubbed his cheek thoughtfully. “I also lost my little girl to the same fever.” His voice wavered. “The Indian climate is the very devil for fevers.” He cleared his throat and surreptitiously dabbed at the corner of his eye. “It is for my daughter that I still grieve.”
Iantha pushed back a wave of sadness. “I’m so very sorry. Losing a child must be terrible.”
“Aye, it’s that.” He took a long breath. “And since they died, I have encountered no other lady who took my interest. Until you pointed that pistol at me.” His grin returned.
In spite of herself, Iantha blushed. “I do apologize. It is just that—that…”
“You have no intention of repeating your earlier experience.”
“Exactly.” She looked up, startled. “Yet I simply cannot stay within doors all the time. Nor can I abide being followed around by a groom—always cautioning me and hurrying me. Besides, I had four men with me before. The gang shot them all. Had I had a number of pistols in the coach, the story might have been different.”
If nothing else, she might have shot herself.
A decided improvement over what had actually happened.
The skin between Lord Duncan’s eyebrows once again pulled into a frown. “I cannot hear the incident mentioned without wanting to do those fellows a severe injury.”
“I appreciate your indignation on my behalf.” Iantha leaned forward. “But don’t you see, Lord Duncan? It is not only my body they hurt. My spirit is wounded. I may never again be whole.”
He leaned toward her in turn, this time taking her hand. “I would like to heal that hurt. I would very much like to see you whole.”
Could that ever be? Iantha started to withdraw her hand, then subdued the impulse. If only he knew how much effort it cost her. His nearness stirred tremors deep inside her, profound, disturbing. Confusing.
“I might never be able to give you another daughter. I’m afraid I could never be a true wife to you.”
“I know that it would be very difficult for you, but it would not be necessary at first. I believe that together we can slowly overcome this dreadful fear.” He smiled. “After all, Miss Kethley, learning to make love is one of life’s greatest adventures. Share it with me. Let me help you. Step by step, touch by touch. Starting with allowing me to kiss your hand.” He lifted her fingers and brushed his lips across them, then returned the hand to her own keeping.
She rubbed the spot that his mouth had touched. A home. Perhaps children. Children were the only humans with whom she now felt at ease. How comforting it would be to have her own.
And someone to share adventures with.
Life’s greatest adventure. Was it still possible?
“Might we first have a long engagement?”
“As long as you need.”
“You are indeed willing to make so great an effort?”
“Aye.”
Iantha’s mouth firmed. “Then I can but equal it.”
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