London 4019. On the Britain

Currant

The houseboat R-118 drifted two hundred miles from London. Hans von Bender stepped out of the cabin and headed for the barbecue area. Before ten meters, he called Abdullah on duty there. Abdullah jumped up from a deck chair and went to the boss.

“Abdullah,” said Hans, “that's all. We must leave. Impolite Reznik is already at the base with all information.”

“And what to do with these both?”

“Accident, they are poisoned by beer. Perhaps a robbery – we will take two bushes of currant. Bring mamba's poison from UAZ. Or the best drag the whole medicine brief-bag. Have you drunk all the beer?”

“A couple of cans still seem to be left.”

“Pour from each jar and drop two drops in each, then put it on the table to the hostages.”

“And they will drink?”

“No, boob! I will inject them with injections. There is a medical pistol in the medicine brief-bag. Put on gloves.”

“Good, Hans, I get it.”

"Well, go and do it! What do you wait?"

Abdulla turned and headed for the UAZ hovering near board. Meanwhile, Hans went to the wheelhouse, where the rest of the bandits played cards.

“Arkady,” – said Hans, “put on the gloves, wipe details of the drone and assemble it back. He is anyway deactivated.”

“Smith, drive capsule onto the deck to the barbecue area. We will leave,” – said Hans and then turned to Kim.

"Kim, dig up two bushes of currant and prepare for loading it in UAZ. And look, if the soil is natural, then it also needs to be taken along with the bushes."

“Well, Hans, I will do so,” – said Kim, and with a grin went off to carry out the task.

“I'm not Hans, I'm boss for you,” – said Hans, – “you get it, right?”

“Got it, boss,” – said Kim, ceasing to smile, and then hastened to leave.

Everything was ready for departure. Currant bushes were also prepared, but not yet immersed in the capsule. Hans handed the medical pistol to Arkady and said, – “Arkasha, as we load the currants, you will make the hostages an injection. Don’t throw the gun, we’ll take it with us. Everything must be done cleanly.”

Then Hans turned to Kim, – “why don't you load the currants?”

“Boss, then there will not be enough place for one person.”

“Do you know how much these two currant bushes cost?”

"I guess, boss."

"They cost like this house on the water. This is a fortune. And do you know how much your life is worth?"

“Boss, just not that,” – Kim scared.

"Do you remember Bulka at the base?"

"Yes, boss, she was delicious."

"It was my favorite dog. Do you like to eat fish?"

"Yes, boss. I did not know that you like Bulka."

“Now the fish will eat you,” – said Hans and began to take out an ultrasound bullet generator from his holster.

Kim grabbed his holster and also tried to get a bullet generator, but the intelligent drone with Kuznetsov's beam turned Kim into a motionless fried piece of meat in uniform.

“Smith, throw this piece of refried shit to the sea,” – said Hans, and he carefully began to load the currant bushes into the capsule. Having loaded the bushes, Hans sat down in a capsule at the control panel and turned on the autopilot to the base. It remains to press the ‘start’ button. Then he nodded to Arkady and Arkady proceeded to fulfill the order of Hans. He opened the first-aid kit and began to install two liquid pills with mamba poison in a medical pistol.

“Abdulla, look why Smith is busy for a long time, or help him,” – said Hans from the capsule cabin, and comfortably sitting in his chair, began to watch Arkady will give injections to the hostages. Hans always controlled the execution of his errands, and he liked to watch people being killed.

Meanwhile, Smith successfully threw Kim's body overboard. It hit the water with a noise. Making sure that the body began to sink under water, Smith turned around and saw an unknown thin man in front of him. It was Kmykh. Having received a blow to the neck, Smith lost consciousness and began to fall. Kmykh grabbed him and gently lowered him to the deck, then with a sharp movement broke his vertebras of neck. Then Kmykh got up and started moving towards the barbecue area. He had already familiarized himself with the location of the cabins and decks, and the places where the terrorists could be. His capsule Maserati was five kilometers from this house at a height of two meters from the water and two intelligent sniper drone were already in position and hovered two kilometers from the target. Their goal was two terrorist guard drones. They were waiting for Kmykh’s command and were in touch. “There are three left,” – Kmykh thought, and continued moving toward the barbecue area. Hearing the steps, Kmykh stopped. Another terrorist hurried to help Smith. It was Abdullah, who did not suspect anything. A short burst of ultrasound from the bullet generator blew Abdullah's head into small pieces. He fell on the deck just without a head.

"Two left", – thought Kmykh and gave the command to the drones – snipers.

“First and second sniper, fire!” – Said Kmykh, and turning on his reactive boots, he rose above the cabin. Before his eyes opened a barbecue area, an UAZ armored capsule and a terrorist with a medical pistol. The terrorist was at a loss and looked into Hans's eyes with a question. Nearby on the deck lay two drones with burnt smoking holes. “One needs to be left alive,” Kmykh thought, and shot to terrorist’s hand which holds a medical pistol.

Hans realized that this was an FSB operation and he needed to save his ass immediately. It was impossible to leave Arkady alive – the FSB used inhumane methods of interrogation and they could find out the location of the base. Hans was already holding a bullet generator in his hands and he did not have time for a shootout with Kmykh. Kmykh had a more advantageous position and he was already directing his bullet generator at Hans. Hans made the only right decision – he fired a short line at Arkady, who was standing nearby, and pressed the "start" button. The cabin instantly slammed shut, and the capsule jerked from its place toward the side. “First and second sniper, fire on UAZ capsule,” – Kmykh said, but it was too late. The UAZ capsule was already submerged under water. Kmykh knew that it was a terribly uncomfortable and not fast capsule, and this model could move through the air at a speed of 60 kilometers per hour, but under water its speed was 90 knots. It was a deep-sea armored model which commonly used for encashment of underwater establishments. Maserati capsule could be submerged only for two meters, and Kmykh could not pursue the terrorist.

“Snipers, return to the capsule,” Kmykh said and sank down to the deck.

Bill and Priscilla were shocked by what they saw.

“Hi brother,” – Bill said and hugged Kmykh.

"HI Bill. I see you are not bored here."

“It's some kind of nightmare,” – said Priscilla, and cried.

"Do you have cigarettes?" – Asked Kmykh from Bill, – "I want to smoke."

"No, these bandits smoked my Cuban cigars, took a bottle of real French wine, drank a box of beer and took two real currant bushes. I was going to sell them and pay off loans with Naibul Bank."

“Indeed,” – said Kmykh, but then he remembered that he would be able to read his thoughts in management and quickly added, “however", turning off the transmission of thoughts.”

“Okay, where can I park Maserati here?”

"You are really cool! There is space on the stern deck."

“Well, there I have some whitefish without excise taxes,” Kmykh said and asked Alice to turn on the hologram of the instrument panel of his capsule.

“Do you ride Maserati and buy without excise cigarettes? And where did you get the money for Maserati?"

"This is FSB property. I had to go to work FSB."

“How long have you been working there? You haven’t told me anything before.”

“Since you were taken hostage. By the way, they stole your deputy, and he himself brought them information from the GKZ library. I suppose he's at their base now. Why do they need him on the base? What do you think?"

“I think they will force him to do a project for drilling a tunnel into the royal palace” Looks like they want to get in there."

“Will you show me your house?”

“Yes, of course,” – said Bill and turned to Priscilla, – “bunny, you need to sleep. Good?"

“Good, hare,” – Priscilla laughed and went to the sleeping cabin.

Kmykh on the dashboard of Maserati noticed that snipers – drones had already plunged into the trunk. He turned on the start of the engines and began to direct the capsule towards the houseboat. He really wanted to smoke. When Bill and Eugene walked into control room, Kmykh had already planted Maserati in a guest place for capsules in the stern of the house. And Bill, meanwhile, activated his drone and turned on the autopilot of the houseboat in the direction of London. The house began to slowly pick up its six knots and cut low waves. Kmykh turned off the dashboard, got up from his chair and went to the capsule for cigarettes. He brought two cigarettes for Bill and himself, and then sat down in chair.

“Well, let's go. I'll show the house,” Bill said.

"Well, just let's have a smoke first. I wonder why Ippolite agreed to work for them and brought them information. How did they put pressure on him? He has no relatives in Britain. And terrorists cannot receive information about a person. It is all stored on the territory of the Royal Palace. Such information can only be obtained by the FSB upon request."

"He has an adult daughter on the moon. She has a small cafe for tourists."

"What is the name of this cafe?"

"I do not remember. Ippolite said that it was near the Chaika casino and in this cafe served vodka briquettes with the taste of sauerkraut. Yes, I still remember that she is 232 years old, and every year she happens to be updating the body in Britain. This is in Sklif in Moscow. Ippolite buys renewal for her body every year. Perhaps the bandits tracked Ippolite' payments through Naibul Bank."

"But Sklif does not accept payments from Naibul Bank, everyone knows that."

"Accepts, but requires showing the origin of the money. By the way, our dad always paid in advance for our body renewal. Now he is retired and we must take care and updating the body of dad in the first place. So far, I manage to buy updates for my dad every year. I mustn't lose my job."

"Me too. Some rich people pay a hundred or even two hundred years to upgrade. It’s a paradox, but sometimes proletariat can buy updates, for example, you, an employee, and bourgeoisie cannot, for example, the owner of a cafe or restaurant."

“This is not a paradox, Eugene. Brains are valued more than the restaurant business. Knowledge is power.”

“Well, suppose the terrorists put pressure on Ippolite, taking his daughter hostage. They couldn’t take her out of the Moon. The customs service of the Moon will not allow it. There are two options. Or they took Ippolite and her daughter at the same time, and the daughter agreed to fly to Britain, since her father was held hostage. Or the terrorists have a base on the moon. It makes no sense to bring her to Britain. So I need to look for their base on the moon. Perhaps it serves as a haven for terrorists and invaders from Saturn. There on the moon, every rabble from all the planets is going to play casino and many other entertainments. Not everyone can get a visa to Britain, and it doesn't depend on his planet of origin. The commerce chambers of the moon also attract many swindlers. I was there one hundred and twelve years ago, transporting equipment to a military base. Now people say that everything has changed a lot."

"Okay, we smoked, let's go, Eugene, I'll show the house."

"By the way, I brought six cans of beer and food. There are briquettes with the taste of cheesecakes with sour cream. Do you want?"

"I wouldn’t refuse beer. Well, and I need to sleep."

"At night I bought sleep in a red telephone box, and now only in the evening I will want to sleep. When will we arrive in London?"

“About thirty hours later.”

“So I have to sleep and dream like poor people. But my friend says that rich people also sleep to dream."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Yes, she is Alice."

“You are one hundred and fifty-five, and you will never grow up.”

"Do you have fishing rods? I want to fish."

"Are fishing rods and spinning rods, no vodka.

"Then I instantly flies to a shop. There and back about twenty minutes will leave. I can grab briquettes with a taste of herring spiced salting.

"Do not. Rest better. So let's go watch a house?"

"Yes, I already studied it according to the schemes before the operation. So I’m better off guiding you here. Furniture wanted an old look. I hope it is as old as the house itself."

After inspecting the house, the brothers went on deck. Kmykh went to the capsule and released three drones.

“Look, brother,” – said Kmykh, – “these are three intelligent drones. One drone will always protect Priscilla, the second will always be with you. The third drone is a sniper. He will also always be with you, and he constantly monitors the airspace."

"Thank you brother."

“Drones, get down to duty,” – said Kmykh.

Immediately one drone went to the door of Priscilla’s sleeping cabin, the second drone flew off four meters and hovered, watching the situation around Bill. The third drone rose above the cabin, magnetized to its roof and began to scan the airspace within a radius of five kilometers.

"Something I was tired too and did not get enough sleep, I’ll go to sleep with Priscilla. I did not sleep for almost a day and everything was on my nerves. If you want to sleep, you already know where your cabin is. By the way, you can fly into the house at any time, park and sleep as much as you like."

“Thank you, brother,” – Kmykh said, – "I’ll go to bed too and talk with Alice."

Bill went down to the lower deck and went to the sleeping cabin. An intelligent guard drone followed him. Kmykh also went to his cabin, got on the bed and said, – “Alice, hello!”

"Hi! Long time no see."

"Alice, I’ll sleep four hours until the evening, I want to see dreams. You need to send two employees and five security drones to guard the chief architect of London. Perhaps the terrorists will want to get a plan of the underground premises of the Royal Palace."

“Have a good sleep, Eugene. Have already sent. And two more drones are on duty at the Zaha Hadid library."

"Well. Bye, beautiful. Bye."

“Goodbye, Eugene.”

Casino Palma

Juan Torpedos and Yegor Podvalny have been tourists on the moon for several days. They arrived from Phobos. The inhabitants of Phobos were willingly allowed to the Moon without a visa, but the path to the Britain was closed to them. They liked to ride through the deep tunnels of the Moon from one casino to another and spend Britcoins, which they could easily get at any ATM of the Moon. The lights of the brillon advertising attracted them. This time they flew at a speed of 30 km per hour, which was maximum allowed for the Moon tunnels. They wanted something unusual. Seeing a tall palm tree at the entrance to a casino, Torpedos offered to stop.

"Look, a real palma!" – Torpedos said, – "let's take a look here."

“Why did you decide that it is real palma? Bananas grow on a real one, – and on this only a couple of tacos,” – answered the Podvalny.

"Not tacos, but coconuts, dunce! Tacos are beef and potato flavored briquettes,” – said Torpedos.

“And where are they made?”

"It is clear that on Mars. This is the birthplace of potatoes."

"How do you know? You were not on Mars."

“Have been told us at school,” – answered Torpedos.

“You were kicked out of first grade for behavior.”

"For that I had a good mark in physical education. Then where are grow the bananas?"

“It is known where, only in Britain, only it seems not on palm trees, I don’t remember exactly,” answered Podvalny, “the teacher of electromagnetic mathematics told us. I just forgot the place. There are many places, not like on the little Phobos."

“Don't make yourself a wise guy, Podvalny. You and I were at the same desk at school, and I don’t remember something like that."

“Well, this is one year we were sitting at the desk, and then you were not at the desk, but in the Kranty prison.”

"I did not sit long in prison. I deceived them all and they transferred me to a psychiatric hospital."

“You did not deceive them, Torpedos. You convinced them with your intellect."

"Good to be smart! We go to casino."

"And into which casino? There are two of them. Read the title."

"Casino with a palm tree. What is not clear here?"

"And what does it is written, what it is called?"

"It’s called – I’ll knock your eye out now."

"Okay, do not be angry, we are school sidekicks. Don't you understand jokes? Okay I park the capsule in the parking lot of Sobyaner. We have been told not to park on others"

"Otherwise what? How will they know?"

"I do not know. They say that there may be problems."

"What problems? Will not be returned a capsule? Then I’ll break them all parking lot into a trash," said Torpedos, and scratched his bald head with the thick fingers of a huge hand, the forearm muscles of which were slightly larger in diameter than the two legs of Podvalny.

"Well, when you are at the drive control – park as you like, and now I am at the drive control and I will follow the instructions,” – said Podvalny and drove the capsule on the Sobyaner parking lot.

Entering the casino, a spacious hall opened for their eyes. On pedestal was Bentley capsule. Idle people played roulette, others played cards with the croupier, and some preferred ‘one-armed cop’ machines.

"Podvalny, let's play the 'one-armed cop'?"

"You may play, and I'll go spin the roulette. There, just the place was vacated."

“Okay,” – said Torpedos, and looked around. Seeing a casino worker, Torpedos turned to him, “dude, how to play this device? Tell me the rules."

“It's very simple, dude,” – answered the clerk, – “everything is written in small print.”

“Well, read it to me. I came here to win, not read instructions."

"Dude, I’ll tell you everything as a keepsake. I've been working here for a long time. You throw Britcoins into that slit. When there are a certain number of them, the playing field is expanded into two parts. From one part of the coin fly into the casino pipe, and from the other part the same amount immediately into this pelvis. Then you rake into your pockets from this pelvis and all affairs. Consider that the casino is equally share with you and this is a win-win option. You’ll cut the dough as much as the casino. I guarantee you a win."

"Cool. And how many coins do I need to throw?"

"I'll tell you a secret, you need to throw six hundred coins and then your winnings. Agree, three hundred Britcoins is a good amount for a one-time win."

"I agree. And often somebody win here?"

“The dude left for Bentley last week. Usually once a week someone wins and drives off."

"Cool. Thanks dude. And on which device is it better to start?"

"I would start where a little has already been thrown. But if you are cool and you want to count how many coins you threw, it is better to throw where there is still no money."

"Really. I can count. It’s better to start from scratch,” – said Torpedos and began throwing Britcoins into the slit of the device.

At this time, Podvalny did not get bored either. He bet eight hundred Britcoins on Zero.

“Bets have been made, there are no more bets,” the croupier announced and only after that he started roulette. It was Moon Roulette and the game was without a ball. The wheel pointer was supposed to stop at one of the cells. While roulette was spinning, Podvalny looked around and noticed how Torpedos gladly throws coins into the machine.

"Probably he winnings. Fools are always lucky," – thought Podvalny and again stared at the roulette wheel.

The wheel has been spinning for five minutes and has not stopped at all.

“Why the wheel doesn't stop?” – Asked curious-worried Podvalny at the croupier.

"You see, it says here that Norma bearings are installed in the rotor. It is cool bearings."

"Yes, indeed. These are cool bearings and cool roulette. I heard they can rotate non-stop for twelve hours."

"Yes it is. A solid Company. On Britain, quality mechanisms are released. This is not a fake from Mars, which will fall apart in a week."

"Yes, it's a pity that I have to wait a long time to win."

"Well, some are waiting. These are usually very rich people. They have a lot of time and have nowhere to rush."