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“Hello, Lance.”
“Listen, Kate. I’m not sure what I said back there that made things get out of control the way they did. But I don’t want to end this relationship.”
Kate didn’t, either. But as she looked around her lonely little town house she knew they couldn’t continue the way they had been. There was a reason why Lance’s engagement had spurred her into action. A reason why she’d been motivated to change things that she’d been content to leave before. And that reason was that she’d finally figured out that no man—especially not Lance—was going to fall in love with her if she just kept being there.
“I can’t do this right now. I really need to think.”
“Can’t do what?”
“Talk to you. Because I’ll agree to whatever you say and that’s not healthy. Not for either one of us. You said you didn’t know what love was, hadn’t experienced it like this, and I know what you meant.”
“What did I mean?”
He’d meant that he’d never had anyone like her in his life, someone who’d been so in love with him that they’d take whatever scraps of affection he threw their way. But she was done with that. She had more pride than that… she deserved better.
“You meant that it was okay for me to keep loving you,” she said.
“More than okay,” Lance said.
“Why? Do you love me?” Kate asked.
He hesitated and she had her answer.
“Damn it, Kate. I don’t know what to say. I want you like I’ve never wanted any other woman,” Lance said.
That didn’t matter. Her physical appearance could change. Would that mean he wouldn’t want her anymore?
“That’s not enough.”
“It’s a start,” Lance said.
“Yes, I guess it is. But I want the man I love to love me back. I want you to need to be with me the way I need to be with you.”
“Katie-girl, you are making this more difficult than it has to be. Let me come back to your place and I’ll prove to you that I need you just as much as you need me.”
Kate was tempted to say yes. She almost did, but then she thought about the fact that sex wasn’t love. It didn’t mean that it couldn’t be but with Lance, right now sex was just sex, no matter how good it was.
“I don’t mean making love, Lance.”
“Making love—you just said it yourself. It’s an expression of our emotions.”
“Ours? Do you love me?”
“Hell, girl, I just said I don’t know.”
“I know. I was pushing and I’m sorry. But I just don’t know what else to do. You broke my heart when you got engaged. And tonight I found out you are still engaged.”
She was rambling, so she just stopped talking. But she knew that some element of truth had been revealed there. She couldn’t just keep loving him. Not now that she’d realized that he didn’t really love her. And not now that she knew he was still engaged to Lexi.
“I’m not going to marry Lexi Cavanaugh, Kate. I can’t marry another woman if I’m involved with you.”
“Good. That makes me feel better. But until things are resolved between the two of you, I have to keep my distance.”
“Why?”
Kate thought about it. She’d left the office feeling ashamed and didn’t like that. And she knew it stemmed from the fact that she wasn’t sure that Lance was her man.
She needed that certainty. If she had that then everything they did together would be motivated by love. And that would be enough for her.
“I just have to. I’m sorry.”
Silence buzzed over the open line and she wondered what Lance was thinking. No matter how well she’d come to know him over the last week, he was still an enigma to her.
And she realized that he probably always would be. That was part of what had made her fall in love with him to begin with. There were secrets and pain in Lance Brody’s eyes and those very things had drawn her to him.
No matter what she did she had a feeling she was always going to love him.
“Goodbye, Lance.”
He cursed under his breath. “Are you quitting Brody Oil and Gas, as well as quitting me?”
“Yes. I am. I won’t be coming back to the office at all. In fact, I need to get away from Houston.”
“You do that,” he said. “Run away if you think that will help. But to be honest, I don’t believe it will.”
“How would you know?”
Lance didn’t strike her as a man who’d run away from anything.
“My mother did it and I don’t think she was any happier after she left us.”
Lance hung up before she could say anything else. Kate was faced with the fact that she’d hurt Lance more deeply than she’d imagined she could. But she couldn’t keep putting him first. She needed to take care of her heart, which felt as if it had been broken in two.
Ten
Figuring that this evening wasn’t going to get any better, Lance put a call in to Lexi. He got her voice mail and even he knew better than to break an engagement via a message, so he simply asked her to call him back.
He didn’t want to go home or to the office. Those two places were haunted by Kate even in his mind. Instead he drove to the Texas Cattleman’s Club. Drinking with his buddies was exactly what he needed.
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