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He knew that particular comfort. It was something of a shock to discover that beneath a surface of differences, he and Miss Price-Ellis shared a fundamental similarity. When he’d come to London and taken Channing’s offer to help with the agency, he’d known he was giving up certain hopes and expectations.
Channing did not ask him to give up those expectations. There was no official relinquishing, but he knew how society worked. Once he was committed as an escort, he’d have his own niche, but he’d never truly belong. He’d never be marriage material. What decent woman would want a man such as him for a husband? That meant no family of his own, something he’d taken for granted right up until the day his father died. Now, he had a brother, two sisters and a mother counting on him. There’d been no question of setting aside his dreams to support them through whatever means possible.
He wondered what Annorah had set aside that had brought her to this moment. What had happened in her life to make her think life as she’d expected it to be was over? Did she really believe it or was there a flicker of hope that somehow it could still be different? After all, he was here, a veritable wolf in the den of her security, poised to threaten that very fabric through her own invitation.
* * *
By the time the sun rose, Nicholas had decided this seduction could be going better. He had not slept well in spite of the excellent accommodations and the relief he’d provided himself. Annorah’s rejection had kept him up most of the night. Nicholas scrubbed at his face with his hands and took in the sunrise from the little balcony of his room. The east-facing room afforded a view of the rolling lawns leading to the stables and carriage house.
From here he could just make out the dark figures of grooms and horses going about their morning rituals. He had forgotten how early life began in the country. In London he’d just be getting to bed—his own bed anyway. Like as not, he’d have already been in someone else’s. That was another item bothering him this morning. He’d spent the entire night in his own bed.
Strategically, he had to admit Annorah had made a sound decision to defer coupling. She might have treated him as a welcomed guest, and for a time at dinner as a close friend, but it was still at the fore of her mind that he was actually a guest who was paid to be here. There would be no pleasure for her if she couldn’t get past that. She needed to see him as that close friend she had imagined at dinner, as a temporary but sincere companion, if she was to find the joy she was looking for.
She’d not been unaware of him. If anything, she’d been too aware: of what he was here to do and of her part in bringing him. She had to go through with it. He could see the internal debate he’d hoped to stem in the garden still being waged behind her hazel eyes. So he’d poured her more champagne, coaxed stories from her and to some extent it had worked. When he had kissed her, there had been moments when she’d forgotten he was a hired service. He’d felt her body come alive, felt her mouth move beneath his. He needed to create more moments like those. She was more than capable of them. How to do it?
Nicholas rested his elbows on the balcony railing. The day promised to be fair and warm, a perfect summer day. Summer. Pieces of Annorah’s stories from the evening flitted through his mind. The summertime, the stronghold of her wildness, perhaps the last preserve where what remained of it still roamed free. An idea started to take hold. Nick smiled to himself. He knew exactly what to do. It was time to get dressed and do a little rummaging.
Chapter Five
There was a man in her house! It was the first thought that came to Annorah upon waking and it stayed lodged in her brain while she dressed. How could it not? Apparently everyone was fixed on the idea of a male presence at Hartshaven. It was the first piece of news her maid imparted. Her guest had been up at first light, exploring the stables, looking for something and ordering the gig for a tour of the estate later.
Her maid, Lily, slid her a sly glance as she laid out one of Annorah’s pretty new morning dresses. ‘It seems odd a librarian would want to see the outside of an estate.’
‘It will help him understand the place,’ Annorah offered vaguely, suddenly thoroughly engrossed in the contents of her jewellery box. She didn’t need the staff questioning his presence too much.
‘Well...’ her maid went back to laying out the clothes ‘...he’s certainly a handsome one. We were all commenting on it last night. Don’t see too many handsome librarians.’
Annorah looked up from the box and gave her maid a polite but freezing smile, meant to halt the conversation. ‘There’s a first time for everything. I trust we won’t embarrass our guest with too much probing while he’s here.’
Now, if only she could live by those rules. There was a man in her house and she wanted to know everything about him. He was handsome and charming and when he looked at her, when he flirted with her, when he’d kissed her, it had become difficult to remember he didn’t really mean it, that he was just doing his job. Her inability to accept that had created a dilemma for her last night she’d been unable to resolve.
Part of her had clearly been ready to melt for him and engage the fantasy in full; those looks, those lines were for her alone, that he didn’t run all over London saying the same things to a different woman every night. You’re an enjoyable woman to be with... I think this is one of the most enjoyable evenings I’ve had in years. She had been willing to believe his words, every last one of them. That scared her. Her feelings had been thoroughly engaged once before to disastrous results. She had to be careful. She didn’t want to walk down that road again—it was one of the reasons she’d hired Nicholas in the first place: physical pleasure without mental attachment. Now, that was being called into question. She could lose herself in him, the way she’d lost herself more than once before, only to be fooled by false affections in the end.
And yet that was the other side of the dilemma. If she kept her distance and reminded herself he was just doing a job, she didn’t know if she could go through with it. She was not a person who believed intimacy could be a job. Intimacy had to be more than a daily chore. It had never been work for her parents, who had lived and died together. She’d promised herself years ago it would never be work for her either.
Somewhere, there was a middle ground and she needed to find it. Perhaps seeing him in the morning light without the added benefit of moonlight and champagne would bring the balanced perspective she needed to let herself move forwards.
* * *
It only took a moment to realise the morning would bring no such thing. When she arrived downstairs, Nicholas D’Arcy sat at the head of the breakfast table, turned out in summer driving gear, carefully pressed trousers and polished boots, his linen pristine, looking as elegant as he had last night. He looked up from the two-day-old newspaper and smiled. ‘Good morning.’ It might possibly be the nicest good morning she’d ever heard. The only one better would be to hear those tones on the pillow beside her.
‘You’re an early riser.’ She caught herself too late. His sense of naughty innuendo was wearing off on her.
‘I can be.’ He gave her a wicked smile, not letting her ignore the implication. ‘I had a few things I wanted to take care of.’ He set aside the newspaper and gesture to the chair next to him, motioning for her to sit.
‘Missing town already?’ Annorah nodded towards the discarded newspaper. She seldom read the papers. It didn’t matter to her how out of date they were. It would matter to a man like him, though, yet another reminder of how different they were. She was a country mouse to his citified bronze. How was she ever to feel at ease with such a sophisticated man?
‘Just keeping up on the news.’ He rose and went to the sideboard. ‘Would you like eggs?’
She nodded, a bit amazed he was fixing her plate. ‘Sausage?’ he asked, keeping up a steady stream of conversation while he assembled her breakfast. ‘I explained to Cook we’d be touring the grounds and that we’d need a lunch. I made arrangements for the gig to be ready at ten. We’ll want to set out before it gets too hot.’
He presented her with breakfast and a sudden, unexpected rush of tears stung her eyes. It was perfect. She would have eaten whatever he served, even if it had been a plate full of eels, so touched was she by the simple gesture. Maybe there was no middle ground. Maybe she should just give over to the fantasy.
‘I could have done that,’ she managed to choke out. The plate, the picnic, the gig. She could have done all of it. She’d been making her own arrangements and decisions for years.
‘Of course you could have.’ He sat down again. ‘That’s not the point.’
‘You’re not here to wait on me,’ she protested between bites of shirred eggs. But it was a half-hearted protest at best. Had breakfast ever tasted this good? Her usual breakfast was more of a pro forma ritual, something she had to do. This morning, however, she was aware the eggs were hot, the sausage was spicy, the toast was warm and the butter was melted.
‘Let me worry about what I’m here to do and not do.’ Nicholas took his seat again.
‘I’ll change after breakfast so I don’t keep you waiting.’
He knit his dark brows together in exaggerated consternation. ‘Why change? You look lovely in what you’re wearing.’
‘It’s not a driving dress,’ she argued, but again with little heat. A carriage dress would be much warmer wear and less comfortable than her morning dress in cool white muslin sprigged with tiny pink flowers and who was there to see her?
He leaned forwards, resting his chin on his hand. ‘No one is likely to see us. Why don’t you send your maid for a hat and gloves and call it good?’ He rose and held out his hand, giving her no chance to refuse. She couldn’t very well go with him and go back upstairs to change. He’d left her no choice.
Nicholas had been a whirlwind of efficiency that morning, a fact she realised once he allowed her a moment to appreciate the details of their departure. He had her settled in the gig, hat, gloves, light wrap and all, within minutes, pointedly deflecting her questions about what was strapped to the maid’s seat in the back with a laugh, saying only, ‘You’ll see when we get there and not a moment sooner.’
He leapt up beside her on the narrow seat, a seat really made for one-and-a-half people instead of two, especially if one of them was a full-grown man with long legs. He picked up the ribbons and clucked to the horse, a sturdy chestnut she often used for short jaunts, and they were off, jouncing along at close quarters, an effect which was not lost on Annorah. She tried vainly to keep her thigh from touching his on the small seat, but the more she tried, the more he made sure his leg took up the space until she had no choice other than to let her body relax alongside his. Perhaps if she said something?
‘You’re doing that on purpose.’ He might truly be unaware of it after all. But her mind laughed at her. He knew very well what he was doing and so did she.
‘Doing what?’ They hit a bump in the road and his leg brushed hers.
‘That.’
Nicholas laughed, the sound filling the empty road around them. ‘It’s a small seat, Annorah, where do you propose I put my leg? Besides, I don’t think it’s an unpleasant sensation, merely a new one.’ One she feared she could get used to, like breakfast plates and just as easily.
Everything was easy with him. He hadn’t even been here a day and already he’d insinuated himself into the routine of her life. He’d done it so well, in fact, that there was an undeniable sense of rightness in having him beside her, almost as if they’d known each other for far longer.
‘It’s all right to like me, you know.’ Nicholas slid her a sidelong glance, his intuition catching her off guard with its accuracy. ‘It would be better if you did, actually.’
‘How did you know that’s what I was thinking? Do you read minds?’
‘I read bodies and lifestyles. You’ve been independent for a long time, too independent if you want my opinion. You aren’t used to having people look out for you.’
‘You’re wrong there. I have servants.’
‘It’s not the same. I mean someone who looks out for you voluntarily, without being asked.’
‘What does that have to do with liking you?’ Annorah shifted on the seat, wishing there was some way to put distance between herself and this interview.
‘Everything. Your independence has made you cautious of others.’ He guided the horse around a sunken spot in the road.
‘Stop thinking of me as another hired servant and start letting yourself like me, Annorah. There’s no harm in it.’
He might be right but it didn’t stop her from feeling defensive. ‘You are not my friend.’ She shot him a look to see how he’d take the pronouncement.
‘No, I’m not. I’m much, much better.’
‘I can trust my friends,’ Annorah said staunchly.
He arched an eyebrow. ‘Really? Then answer me this. Why have you been alone so long?’
Annorah fixed her eyes on the road. She was not going to answer that out loud. Because people hurt people. Intentionally or unintentionally, the result was still the same and she simply couldn’t go through it again. What her aunt and a long string of suitors had done to her for the sake of money was unforgivable.
‘We all have the lives we want, Annorah. Nothing will change that until we do,’ he said softly.
Nothing except calendars and legally binding documents. It was on the tip of her tongue to challenge that statement. No matter what she did, everything was going to change in a matter of weeks and she still hadn’t decided what to do. Annorah pushed the thought away with a hard mental shove. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t think about that while he was here. This was her last escape from reality. Her obligations weren’t supposed to intrude during these last days.
The cry of a hawk overhead broke the silence. Nicholas bumped her shoulder with his and pointed to the cloudless sky, impressed with the sudden intruder. ‘We don’t see many of them in London.’
Annorah looked up. ‘They live in the hills. There’s a whole family of them that have been here since I can remember.’ She smiled. ‘When I was little, we used to pretend to be hawks. We used to pretend we could fly.’ She gave a little laugh. ‘That’s silly, isn’t it?’
‘Not really. I had a kite when I was younger. I used to fly it and wish for the same thing.’ He smiled back at her, taking his eyes from the road long enough to meet her gaze, letting the sweetness of a childhood memory remembered pass between them.
‘I can hardly picture you as a little boy.’ It was difficult to think of this perfect man as a rambunctious scamp, running about the countryside in short trousers flying a kite.
‘Why not? I was adorable.’ He pretended mock hurt.
She gave a slight shake of her head. ‘It’s just that you’re so well put together; your clothes, your manners, you seem to always know what to do and what to say. I can’t imagine you not always having been this way.’
Nicholas laughed. ‘My mother wouldn’t describe me that way. I assure you, I had my share of scraped knees and less-than-pristine moments.’ He winked and said with exaggerated seriousness, ‘I had a mother, too, just think of it.’
* * *
The conversation had become easier after that. They talked of the plants they passed, the wildflowers that grew along the side of the road, the fields and the crops, until he turned off and brought the gig up beside the wide grey ribbon of river to a place where it pooled into a swimming hole beneath the shade of an old oak tree.
‘I haven’t been here in ages.’ She looked down at him, instantly suspicious as he came over to her side of the gig. ‘How did you know about this place?’
Nicholas shrugged and swung her down, letting his hands linger at her waist, his grip strong and confident as he held her. ‘I asked around. Your master of horse said this was a good spot for a picnic.’ Nicholas moved to the back of the gig and began to unpack, revealing at last what he’d stowed away. ‘I hear it’s a good place to fish.’
Fishing poles! Good heavens, she hadn’t seen the fishing poles for years, not since her grandfather had passed away actually. She hadn’t even been sure the poles were still around. Part of her assumed they’d simply found their way into other hands—perhaps a groom or two who’d gone fishing on a day off and had kept them, or perhaps some boys in the village had borrowed them. But here they were, looking as able as ever. He held out a pole. ‘Are you game?’
Annorah shot a quick glance at his boots, noting their high polish and expense. Water would ruin them. ‘You have to go in the water to fish.’
Nicholas gave her a wink. ‘I’ll let you in on a little secret. I plan on taking them off. How about you? I don’t think those half-boots will fare any better.’ Nicholas sat down on a big boulder by the river and tugged at his boots. He tossed them aside. ‘Here’s another secret. I plan to take off a lot more than my boots.’
Dear lord, he meant it. Annorah’s mouth went dry as he pushed up his trousers and began rolling off his socks, revealing well-muscled calves. It was ridiculous to be aroused by a man’s legs, but she rather doubted most men had legs like his; so perfectly turned with a sculpted bulge of muscle and tanned, too, not a pasty white. It suggested extraordinarily good health. Here was a man who knew how to take care of himself, whose body was not padded and moulded into a false representation of its true physique. There was no artifice here.
No, absolutely none, she affirmed a moment later. Off came his jacket, just to reinforce the point. The thin linen of his shirt hugged the breadth of his shoulders and tapered into the waistband of his trousers, calling attention to the trim line of his hips.
‘Well? Stop dawdling, Annorah.’ Nicholas stepped into the river with his pole. ‘We don’t eat until we fish.’
Right, just as soon as I get my jaw shut. She was being ridiculous.
He tossed a fishing pole in her direction. ‘Unless you’re too scared?’
That did it. She’d been more than an able fisher in her day. Annorah set to her boots with a flurry of efficiency. Boots and stockings were off, the skirts of her dress hiked up with the help of a hair ribbon. ‘I can outfish a man about town like you any day of the week.’
Nicholas grinned. ‘Then get in here and do it.’
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