The Rancher's Christmas Proposal

She’d worry about honesty and good deeds later. Staying alive was a key factor in accomplishing those tasks anyway.

She tipped back her head. “Why are You doing this to me? I’m trying. I’m really, really trying.”

You’d think there’d be a little more grace and a little less punishment for those folks who put in the effort. Why did it always seem the dreadful people of the world like Dead Eye always landed on their feet like spry cats, whereas she’d only tried to right a wrong and tumbled right off the ledge and into the abyss? Even Emmett had a talent for squeezing out of difficult situations, and he wasn’t exactly a saintly figure.

The marshal frowned. “Who are you talking to?”

“God,” Tessa replied with an apologetic wave toward the ceiling.

Railing against God probably wasn’t the best solution. Clearly she had more work to do on her spiritual training.

Shane followed her gaze upward. “Does He answer?”

“Yes.” Tessa grimaced. “Only His answers are very perplexing.”

The lawman didn’t appear shocked by her outburst, which was something at least. In his profession, he’d probably seen far more unusual things than a woman talking to the ceiling.

“Do you mind sticking around for a moment?” The marshal straightened. “Shane and I have another matter to clear up as long as he’s here.”

“Don’t give me a second thought,” she replied gingerly, ignoring his piercing stare.

He was making excuses to hold her here, no doubt, waiting her out in case she collapsed into hysteria. Which she had no plans on doing. She was made of sterner stuff. Emmett hadn’t raised a wilting flower. She might have drooped a touch, but she definitely wasn’t wilting.

Hugging her arms over her chest, she stood, crossed the short distance and stared out the window. Towns had personalities, the same as people. This one screamed respectability! The boardwalks had been swept clean of snow, lethal icicles had been chipped from the eaves and black smoke pumped merrily from the chimneys. Emmett had never lingered in towns like this. Respectability made him nervous. Perhaps that was why Shane had been so cold once they’d reached town. Maybe he sensed she didn’t belong.

Which begged the question—where did she belong?

Since arriving on the train, she’d known there was no way of watching the children without attracting unwanted attention. Her previous hunch had been correct; she was too young and too, well, too unattached. She’d spent twenty minutes escaping an interrogation from Mrs. Stuart in the mercantile yesterday. Even arriving on the same train with Shane had piqued the woman’s curiosity.

The marshal focused his attention on Shane. “How’s that mare? The one that ran into the barbed wire?”

Letting the conversation ebb and flow behind her, Tessa formulated a new plan. First, she’d take on an assumed name. While the subterfuge went against everything she’d fought for, in order to live an honest life, she had to remain alive. Even God had to understand that. Next, she needed an income. She’d checked the board outside the church the day of her arrival, but the only listings were for cattle hands and train workers. Neither of which was suitable. She wasn’t returning to Wichita with Dead Eye on the loose, and the next larger city was even farther away. She was counting her pennies already.

“Shane, you’re wound up tighter than an eight-day watch,” the marshal said. He indicated the fresh blanket of snow outside his window. “You’ll end up frozen in a snowdrift if you insist on traveling in this weather.”

“It’s not so bad,” Shane said.

“Jo is worried.”

“About the children?” Shane scooted forward. “What’s wrong?”

Tessa’s attention perked.

“They’re fine,” the marshal said. “It’s you she’s worried about.”

Rubbing his forehead with the heel of his hand, Shane slumped back. “Jo’s got no cause for worry.”

“Don’t do this to yourself,” the marshal continued. “The kids miss you. Of course they do. They’ll get used to the change. You might as well let them adjust now. When the weather turns ugly, you won’t be able to make the trip anyway. We all know that. Things will all work out. You’ll see.”

The space between them thrummed with emotion. Tessa held her tongue for a full minute before blurting, “What do you mean the kids miss you?”

The two men blinked.

Shane spoke first. “The marshal and his wife, my cousin, are watching the twins over the winter.”

“You didn’t keep them with you?”

“You said I was a good father.” He stared at his clasped hands. “I’m trying to be. They’re better off this way, with people who can give them attention. This is my solution. It’s for the best. Better than Mrs. Lund, that’s for certain.” His startling admission ignited a flurry of self-recriminations. All this time she’d thought she’d done something wrong, that he was annoyed with her or, worse yet, embarrassed by her. Even with his face averted, she sensed his guilt.

A tumble of comforting words balanced on the tip of her tongue and she held them there, hugging herself tighter. He didn’t want or need her pity. Having faced tough times herself, she knew the frustration of trite phrases and meaningless assurances.

Why hadn’t she listened closer before? What had the marshal said? Something about the weather. And Shane did look exhausted.

Tessa’s thoughts raced. Instead of running again, what if she stayed put? The town was far and gone from all the Fultons’ usual haunts. Dead Eye would stand out like a sore thumb around here.

“Mrs. Lund was not a good choice,” Tessa agreed. Perhaps Agnes would consider letting her stay on at the boardinghouse full-time. There’d be no changing her name, the cat was already out of the bag, but she’d worry about that minor detail later. “Anyone can see you only want to do the right thing.”

“It’s a big change.” He heaved a sigh. “We’re all doing our best.”

Her stomach rumbled, and she pressed one hand over the noise. The boardinghouse provided a nice breakfast and lunch, but she’d been hoarding the bread and cheese for the next leg of her journey. Though she’d counted on the reward money, she’d also been prepared for a hasty exit. Another one of Emmett’s rules: hope for the best, and plan for the worst. If she ever saw him again, she’d thank him for all the excellent advice.

Right after she read him the riot act.

She recalled the reason she was in the marshal’s office in the first place and her optimism faded. She couldn’t put these kind people in danger.

The door Cora had disappeared into earlier opened once more and Owen and Alyce raced through. They caught sight of Tessa and charged. A wave of pure longing sprang forth. With a shriek she knelt and gathered them into her arms.

Cora followed close behind. “I tried to stop them, but when they found out Tessa was here, they were determined.”

“It’s all right,” Shane said. “I planned on fetching them after the marshal said his piece.”

“I’ve missed you,” Tessa squealed in delight. “Have you been keeping busy?”

Owen held out his hand. “My ball.”

“Yes, your ball.” Tessa beamed at Shane. “That’s two words together.”

His grin was tinged with pride. “He started that just yesterday.”

Alyce patted the ribbon at Tessa’s neck. “Pretty.”

Tessa’s eyes burned. She’d been away from them for only a few days, and already they’d changed. They’d changed but they remembered her. She couldn’t recall a time when someone had greeted her with such unabashed joy.

She scooped them close and laughed, then glanced at Shane and her smile faded. She’d never seen a man more crushed, more defeated. Being separated from his children was obviously tearing him apart, and her heart went out to him.

Though they were little more than strangers, she’d give anything to take away that pain, even for a moment. He reminded her of Emmett, making all the wrong choices for all the right reasons. Trying his best in a bewildering situation. While she assumed the marshal and his wife were good people, clearly the twins belonged with their father.

Cora planted her hands on her hips. “Shane, what you need is a wife. Why don’t you send away for one of them mail-order brides like the blacksmith did a few years ago? I’ve never seen that man smile so much since he got hitched.”

Marriage.

Tessa smothered a gasp. How had she overlooked such an obvious solution? She’d been so wrapped up in the details that she hadn’t seen the broader picture. The most obvious solution had been sitting right in front of her all along. Like it or not, the only guarantee of respectability was marriage.

The edge of her ledger protruded from her satchel. The project was a lifetime of work. Instead of piecemeal efforts, what if one grand good deed erased all the other entries?

The idea took hold and gained shape. She’d have everything she ever wanted: security, safety and, best of all, anonymity. Well, everything but authenticity. Her past must be left in the past.

Owen touched the locket at her throat, fascinated by the shiny metal. The twins seemed genuinely fond of her. They adored her in the way only children could, without artifice of expectations. She envisioned their future in light of their current arrangement, shuttled from family to family, always searching for a place where they belonged. Memories of her own childhood returned with an unsettling jolt. They deserved better.

Although this was hardly a perfect solution for all of them, it was the best one she could think of. What other choices did any of them have? She glanced at Shane and a curious sensation passed through her, a gentle warmth, like the heat of the sun shining through a glass windowpane.

She’d learned his wife had passed away almost six months before. How much did he miss her? What would he think of such a suggestion? She sensed an unyielding resolution about him. Most folks took the easy way of things, drifting along like flotsam. Not Shane. He hadn’t given up his children because that was the easy way out; he’d given them up because he felt it was the right thing to do.

What of her own situation? This was a clean slate. A new start. They were strangers with no preconceived notions about each other. He was a kind man, and she was a good person at heart. She’d simply never had the opportunity for demonstrating her better qualities.

There was only one little snag in her plan. Unlike the children, Shane definitely didn’t adore her. She wasn’t certain if he even liked her. Then again, he was a widower, and no one expected him to fall at her feet. They only needed to get along. She’d seen too much of the darker side of human nature to harbor any hope of a fairy-tale ending anyway.

“Find yourself a wife, Shane,” Cora declared. “I’m brilliant. A mail-order bride solves all your problems.”

Cora was brilliant, all right. The idea was as inspired as it was obvious.

All Tessa had to do was convince a virtual stranger to spend the rest of his life with her.

Brilliant indeed.

* * *

Alyce tugged on Shane’s pant leg, and he hoisted her into his arms.

The marshal shook his head. “Leave Shane alone, Cora. He doesn’t want to marry a stranger.”

“You did.”

Garrett’s ears flamed. “I knew your mother. She wasn’t a stranger. She was from town.”

Shane had never seen the marshal shaken, but Garrett sure looked shaken now. Wondering if Tessa was enjoying the exchange as well, Shane grinned at her, but her expression was distant and shuttered, as though she was puzzling out some great difficulty.

“Yes, Mama was from town.” Cora rolled her eyes. “But you weren’t. You’d only been here a few months. You barely knew her.”

“I knew her well enough,” Garrett muttered, his scarlet ears turning even redder. “You’ve been listening to rumors again, haven’t you?”

“Mrs. Stuart does ramble on,” Cora continued. “But that doesn’t mean getting married isn’t the perfect solution. Shane is quite a catch. Any lady would be privileged to have him. Let’s put his picture on the church bulletin boards in Wichita.”

“No.” Instantly panicked, Shane broke into the conversation. He figured his ears matched the marshal’s right about now. “No one is putting my picture anywhere. Ever.”

Agitated by his raised voice, Alyce hugged his neck. Shane tickled her stomach until she grinned. Taking good-natured enjoyment from the marshal’s discomfort was one thing; hearing Cora talk about him as “a catch” was a whole different matter.

Garrett scrubbed his hand down his face. “Your mother and I didn’t know each other very well, I’ll admit that. But not everyone can be as fortunate.”

Shane’s amusement faded, and their friendly quarrel disappeared into the background. Alyce was staring at him with her wise, solemn eyes, and his whole chest ached. Freezing in a snowdrift didn’t seem so bad if it meant seeing the children. Even if he saw them only once a week. Even if he didn’t get a full night’s rest until they were full-grown. He was used to hardship.

Cora’s voice grew exasperated. “Maybe if Shane left the ranch once in a while, he might have more options. Except for that trip to Wichita, he doesn’t go anywhere. How’s he supposed to meet anyone around here? Miss Spencer is the only new single female we’ve had in town in months.”

A strangled noise sounded from Tessa’s direction, and Shane kept his attention averted. Cora was three for three—she’d mortified all the adults in the room.

The marshal ushered his daughter toward the back of his office once more. “This conversation is over. We’d best check on that coffee and find your mother. Can’t leave the stove unattended.” He motioned for Shane. “Bring the kids by the house when you’re ready.” He touched his forehead. “Miss Spencer, it was a pleasure meeting you. Let me know if I can be of any further assistance during your stay.”

The door closed resolutely behind them.

While grateful the awkward conversation was at an end, Shane didn’t relish being alone with Tessa after that mortifying exchange.

She craned her neck, following their hasty retreat. “What is behind that door, anyway?”

“A jail cell and stairs to an apartment on the second level. The marshal keeps the space closed off unless there’s a prisoner. The deputy lives upstairs when there’s an inmate overnight.”

Cora’s words rang in his ears. Tessa was definitely the only single female they’d had in town in a while. He almost laughed out loud before catching himself. Even if she didn’t have one foot out the door, she’d never settle for someone like him. She was too smart and too pretty for a lonely widower who lived on an isolated ranch with nothing but a bunch of uncouth men for company.

All the same reasons she couldn’t watch the children. Mrs. Stuart at the mercantile had practically tackled him when he’d stepped off the train with Tessa by his side. No doubt the old busybody had been watching them like a hawk, searching for any sign of impropriety.

At least Tessa didn’t appear shocked by the Cains’ ribbing. Their candor could be disconcerting. He shook his head. The idea was crazy. Out of the question. He’d already got married once for the sake of the children. What kind of fool made the same mistake twice? Clearly he wasn’t marriage material. As for sending away for a bride, who in their right mind would come all this way to marry a man sight unseen? The idea was ludicrous.

Tessa perched on a chair and lifted Owen into her lap. “I was starting to think that door had mysterious properties.”

Shane chuckled. “JoBeth, the marshal’s wife, comes in through the back as well. It’s a shortcut from the telegraph office where she works. She must be around here someplace. The kids didn’t make that walk alone. She’s probably upstairs.”

Voices and footsteps rumbled overhead, and a welter of emotions swirled around him. He envied the Cains’ easy camaraderie and close-knit family. After his father left, he’d quit school and supported his mother by working as a cattle hand. A man’s job that hadn’t left him much time for anything but eating and sleeping.

Following his mother’s death, he’d worked even harder, saving up money for his own place. That was all he’d ever known—work and responsibilities. The kids were the best thing that had ever happened to him. They deserved a childhood. Although he supposed most folks didn’t think about such frivolous things, having surrendered his own youth, he wanted more for them.

A burst of laughter from overhead filtered through the vents. The Cains liked each other and enjoyed spending time together. Sometimes they tried to pull him into their antics, like this afternoon, but he always kept a distance. Even when his family had been together, they’d never shared that sort of lighthearted connection, and he wasn’t certain how to fit in.

He caught sight of Owen and grimaced.

The boy had turned away, making an exaggerated point of ignoring Shane. Of the two children, Owen had taken the change the hardest. He’d been sullen and withdrawn since the move. While understandable, his rejection still hurt.

Owen glared. “Want Scout.”

The demand had Shane shuffling his feet. “He’s at home. I’ll bring him for a visit next time.”

Tessa glanced between the two. “Who is Scout?”

“A horse.” Visiting Scout each morning had been part of their daily routine since before Owen could walk. He’d even had his own currycomb and took great pride in brushing the feathered hair above the animal’s hooves. Over seventeen hands high, the enormous draft horse had taken a shine to Owen as well and always remained docile beneath his ministration. “Owen wasn’t happy about leaving him behind.”

That was an understatement. Shane briefly closed his eyes against the memory of the boy’s pitiful sobs.

Tessa pressed a hand against her stomach, and Shane recalled the rumblings he’d heard earlier.

He’d been almost rude with her before. The decision to leave Alyce and Owen with the Cains had weighed heavily on him, and he hadn’t been very good company on the train ride back or even today, for that matter.

In an effort to atone for his previous behavior, he asked, “Have you eaten yet?”

She glanced up. “Not yet.”

He studied Tessa’s upturned face and his gut knotted. Lines of tension framed her mouth and dark circles showed beneath her eyes. He recalled the trunk he’d seen in the haberdashery window and realized why the familiar-looking luggage had caught his eye. She must be pawning her belongings. Most telling of all, she’d been frantic about the reward this morning when she’d been hesitant about the money before. Those hints might have clued him in earlier if he hadn’t been wrapped up in his own concerns.

Tessa was obviously short on funds.

She’d been adamant about leaving town as soon as the reward arrived. What was she going to do now? What were her plans for the future? Forcing his questions aside, he reached for his coat.

Curiosity was holding up what needed to be done. “Join me for lunch at the hotel. I could use a bite.” Actually, he’d eaten an hour ago. “I insist. You can fill me in on the gossip from town.”

Owen had practically attached himself to Tessa. Most likely she’d be gone soon, another disappointment for the boy, yet he couldn’t deny them their visit. At least the twins were smiling for once. All three of them had been more somber than usual lately. The finality of their situation had left Shane troubled and distracted. Assisting someone else was the perfect way to take his mind off his worries.

“Um,” Tessa began. “There is one small matter I’d like to discuss over lunch.”

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