Christmas for the Halfpenny Orphans
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‘No reason at all,’ she said. ‘I thought you looked anxious … perhaps over one of the children?’
‘Well yes,’ Sister admitted. ‘I am concerned about the new arrivals, Angela. Samantha and Sarah … As you know, they were discovered sleeping rough in a bombed-out house due for demolition. The police had cleared it of homeless vagrants once already, but they went back for a final check before the bulldozers moved in and found the girls close to exhaustion from lack of food and water …’
‘Have they told you why they were there? Or given their last names?’
‘Not yet. Though I’ve been informed they’re sisters and their surname is May. Samantha seems wary. Sarah is a gentle girl, very pretty and doesn’t say much, just sits there and looks at you.’
‘Can she speak?’
‘She speaks when she wants to – usually yes or no or thank you. They both seem to have nice manners and they haven’t caused a bit of bother … but something isn’t right. Sarah has old scarring and faded bruises, but Samantha was merely dehydrated and hungry; although when I examined the marks on her sister’s body she seemed to wince, almost as if she was feeling Sarah’s pain herself.’
‘Could they be twins? I’ve heard that sometimes twins feel each other’s pain and emotions.’
‘Samantha says they are twins, but they aren’t identical and Sarah seems younger and quieter … perhaps she’s in her sister’s shadow. I think I might ask Mark to have a word with them, next time he visits.’
‘Yes …’ Angela frowned. ‘We don’t want the kind of bother we had with poor Terry.’
‘No, certainly not.’ Sister shuddered as they both remembered the frightened, troubled child who had attacked her. ‘I feel so responsible for what happened. I know his sister blames herself too, but I doubt anyone could have prevented it.’
‘Nancy is coping very well for the moment. Muriel was telling me she’s very good at making pastry – in fact she made the treacle tart some of the children had at lunch.’
‘Yes, well, I’m glad she’s coming along nicely – but I don’t want anything like that to happen here again, Angela. Nancy refused to be parted from her brother and Samantha is behaving in much the same way. She says her sister might be frightened if she woke in the night and she was not there.’
‘Does it really matter if they stay together?’ Angela asked reasonably. ‘As we discussed, we’re moving Mary Ellen and Marion into the new wing next week; they will have one of the smaller rooms with four beds. Perhaps we should put the twins in with them. They’re much the same age, but Sarah seems younger and Samantha needs to get comfortable with us. It is very strange for children who’ve been accustomed to doing chores and taking care of their siblings when they suddenly find themselves having to follow our rules.’
‘Do you imagine I am not aware of that?’ Sister Beatrice was clearly not in the best of moods, reverting to the hostility that she’d shown when Angela first came to the home the previous year. ‘I’ve no intention of repeating the mistakes that were made with Nancy and Terry …’
‘None of us could have foreseen such an outcome,’ Angela said. ‘You mustn’t blame yourself, Sister. Terry had been badly damaged by his father’s brutality, not to mention the trauma of the fire that killed his parents. We shall never know exactly what took place, but Terry’s mind was so badly warped by his father’s torture—’
‘Well, that’s as maybe,’ sniffed Sister Beatrice. ‘Anyway, I’ve been informed by Constable Sallis that the police have managed to trace the girls’ aunt. She may be willing to take them, in which case their stay with us will be a short one.’
‘That’s a good thing, I expect.’
Sister’s gaze flickered and Angela thought she saw distress in her eyes, but then the older woman was turning away, leaving her to carry on with her work. The report was almost finished, which left two letters to compose and type up before she would be ready to meet Mark. But as her fingers rattled the keys of the typewriter her mind kept drifting back to Sister Beatrice’s hostility, and wondering what could have provoked it.
Beatrice entered her own office, closing the door behind her and leaning against it for a moment. She had no idea why she’d been so annoyed to find Angela busily typing away at this hour; her assistant was very efficient and saved her endless hours of paperwork, something she’d found irksome in the past. Mark had assured Sister Beatrice that the Administrator’s role was not intended to usurp hers and that the children of St Saviour’s would continue to depend on her experience and her understanding.
She touched the heavy silver crucifix she wore hanging from a long chain about her neck, and then closed her eyes. She must conquer this feeling of anxiety and anger that came over her sometimes in the younger woman’s presence.
‘Forgive me, Lord,’ Beatrice said. ‘Pride and ambition are unworthy sins and I must submit to Thy will for me …’
Yet even as she mouthed the words she knew she would fight with all that was in her to retain her position at St Saviour’s … but why was she feeling threatened? She’d thought she’d managed to put this behind her, to accept that Angela’s position as Administrator was of benefit to all.
She’d felt so inadequate when Terry’s illness had made him a danger to himself and others. Ever since that terrible incident she’d felt tired and strained – and there was something about the two most recent arrivals that made her uneasy.
Feeling a sudden pain in her side, Beatrice gasped and clutched at herself. Perhaps it wasn’t the silence of little Sarah that had brought on this attack of self-doubt and soul-searching. These terrible stabbing pains had been troubling her for a while, and though she rose above it stoically, it was getting steadily worse – and that was what frightened her. What was the source of her pain? Had it been higher in her chest she would have thought it indigestion and ignored it, but this was low on her left side and could be severe, though it didn’t last long.
She drew a sighing breath of relief as the pain receded. It was foolish of her to imagine that she had some dreadful illness. Beatrice knew she ought to visit a doctor and let him examine her, but she was reluctant. If it turned out she had something unpleasant, she might be forced to take a lot of time off work – she might lose her position here.
A quiet existence in the convent did not appeal to her after a busy life at St Saviour’s, and the prospect of being forced to retire due to ill health was one that sent her into the darkest of moods. She loved the hustle and bustle of Halfpenny Street and the surrounding lanes and alleys – so many people going about their work and the rattle of trams in the distance; bicycles, horses and dray carts, and lorries as they passed, and the cry of costermongers as they pushed their hand-carts and offered fruit and veg for sale – and she was not ready for the quiet of the secluded convent. She did not have time to be ill – not when there was so much to do, and so much to lose. St Saviour’s would manage without her, Angela would see to that, Beatrice had no doubt – but she needed her place here.
Her thoughts were interrupted as someone knocked at the door and then Nan poked her head round. She smiled at the woman who was her closest friend; the only person who knew anything about her life before St Saviour’s.
‘You’re still here then,’ Nan said and entered. ‘I’m on duty until midnight, Beatrice. You should get home and rest. You work too hard – and you look a bit peaky.’
‘I’m all right, perhaps a bit tired. I had no more than a few hours’ sleep last night – but we shall be all right now. Staff Nurse Wendy is settling in well. It looks as if we’ve been lucky this time, Nan.’
‘Yes, it looks like it.’
Beatrice nodded, her stern features relaxing as she asked, ‘Have you heard from Alice recently?’
‘She was well when I popped in last night, though a bit lonely with Bob away in the Army. I think she’s landed on her feet there, providing she doesn’t let herself brood on the past too much. We all have to accept that we can’t change the past, even if we wish we could. You and I both know that, Beatrice.’
‘Yes, we do,’ Beatrice agreed. ‘You’re feeling better about your daughter now I think?’
‘Yes, a bit. I shall always miss my Maisie and wish she’d chosen to stay with me, but Eddie says I must accept her decision. She’s Sister Mary now and not the girl I knew at all. You found solace in becoming a nun and it seems my girl has too.’
‘I found a refuge when I needed one – but then I was given the chance to nurse, first at the Infirmary, and then to become Warden here; I’ve never regretted it. I should hate to have to leave.’
‘But why should you?’ Nan looked puzzled. ‘St Saviour’s couldn’t manage without its Sister Beatrice.’
‘No, perhaps it couldn’t,’ Beatrice said. ‘It does me good to talk to you, Nan. Where is your charming old soldier this evening?’
‘Oh, Eddie is away at the moment, visiting his nephew and his wife. They run a grocer’s shop in the country somewhere. They want him to live with them and help look after the shop. I shall miss him if he goes.’
‘Yes, I know.’ Beatrice felt better. The pain had gone and she’d been worrying for nothing. ‘I’m sure he will keep in touch though.’
‘Yes … but letters aren’t like meeting for tea or having him round for lunch, are they? Still, at my age, I couldn’t expect a romance, could I?’
‘Did you want one?’ Beatrice looked closely at her friend, but although Nan seemed to hesitate, she shook her head.
‘No, not a romance … but he was cheerful company. The first man I’ve felt comfortable with for a long time.’
‘I understand. Well, I’d best go home and get some rest. It will be another long day tomorrow.’
‘We never know what will turn up, do we?’
They walked down to the lift together and then parted. Beatrice made her way through the gardens to the Nurses’ Home, and Nan set off on her rounds, making sure everything was quiet and as it should be in the dorms. Nan was probably right, Beatrice thought; for a while she’d been doing the work of two people and that was the reason she’d been feeling a bit under the weather. Now that the new nurse had settled in, things were bound to improve …
FOUR
Michelle came out of a deep sleep slowly as she heard her mother calling her. There was a note of desperation in her voice and Michelle was suddenly wide-awake as the light was snapped on and she saw her mother standing there in the doorway with tears running down her cheeks.
‘What’s wrong, Mum?’ she asked and jumped out of bed. ‘What’s happened?’
‘It’s your father,’ she said. ‘He was coughing and then he sort of choked and brought up this blood and then he fell back against the pillows and I think – I think he might be dead, Michelle …’ Her mother’s eyes were wide with fear.
‘No, he can’t be!’ Michelle cried, running barefoot through to the bedroom next door. She saw at once that her father’s pillows were spotted with blood and there was more on his nightshirt. Heart racing, she rushed to him and bent over to find a pulse. Thankfully, it was there but faint. ‘He’s not dead, Mum. I think he’s passed out – probably felt weak after bringing up that blood …’ She turned and saw that her two young brothers had come to the door and were staring at her in distress. ‘Freddie, go back to bed,’ she said. ‘I’ll get dressed and phone for the doctor.’
‘Can’t you do anything for him?’ Michelle’s mother asked as her father stirred and moaned weakly. ‘He won’t thank you for fetching the doctor.’
‘You look after him, Chelle,’ the elder of her brothers said. ‘I’ll go and ring from the box on the corner.’
Michelle glanced at the alarm clock by the bed; the time was a quarter to five and the doctor wouldn’t be pleased to be called out at this hour.
‘No, wait,’ she said. ‘Dad’s coming round now. Freddie, go back to bed – you too, Ben; go on now. I’ll clean him up and see how he is and then we’ll get the doctor later if we need to.’
‘Michelle’s right,’ her mother said. ‘No arguments. Your father hates a fuss; you know that – so go quietly now and leave this to us. I’ll fetch you some warm water, Michelle …’
Michelle touched her father’s face. He opened his eyes and she saw the fear in them as he became aware of her and then the blood everywhere. She took his hand and he gripped it tightly. His mouth moved but his voice was only a whisper.
‘What … happened?’
‘You had a coughing fit, brought up some blood and then passed out. You’ll be all right in a while; it’s merely the shock.’
‘You didn’t send for the doctor?’ He clutched at her urgently.
‘Not yet, but you must see him, Dad.’
‘Meant to,’ he said. ‘Don’t think I’ve got long, girl. You’ll have to look after your mother and brothers. Ben will be out to work in another few years, but Freddie’s still a boy …’
‘Don’t talk,’ Michelle hushed him as he closed his eyes, clearly exhausted. ‘Try not to think about the blood; there’s not as much as you think.’
‘Yes,’ he said weakly. ‘Ben is sensible but Freddie needs a firm hand. Remember that when I’ve gone.’
‘Shush … the doctor will help when he comes and you’ll soon be better.’
‘You know that’s not true.’ His eyes reproached her. ‘My own fault, but I didn’t want to let you all down – should’ve done something ages ago.’
‘It isn’t too late,’ Michelle said, praying she was right and not giving him false hope. ‘You’ll need to go away if it’s consumption – don’t look like that; you know I’m right. We don’t know for sure what it is – I’ll look after Mum and the boys, I promise.’
‘Not fair on you – should be courting …’
‘Lie back and rest. I’m going to clean you up and make you comfortable, and then we’ll have the doctor as soon as it’s light.’
‘I can get up and go myself …’
‘You will stay where you are and do as you’re told.’ Michelle fixed him with her best Staff Nurse look. ‘You owe it to Mum and the boys to get better – and the only way that will happen is bed rest in a sanatorium. I shan’t listen to you, Dad, so you may as well listen to me. This attack was sent as a warning. Do as you’re told, and you’ll live to see the boys leave school – both of them.’
The faintest flicker of a smile passed across his mouth, but he was too weak to do more than press her hand. Michelle’s mother came back with the bowl of water and together they changed his shirt and Michelle washed away the blood, tucking him under a clean sheet.
‘Shall I bring him a cup of tea?’ her mother asked. Michelle hesitated, and then shook her head.
‘Only a few sips of water until the doctor has been. I think he’ll sleep now.’
‘Yes, he looks more peaceful,’ her mother said. ‘I was so frightened, Michelle – I don’t know what we’ll do if—’
‘Hush …’ Michelle led her from the room. ‘It’s too soon to think that way, Mum. This has been coming on for a while now. It probably looks worse than it is … let’s wait until the doctor tells us what he thinks; it might not be as bad as we fear.’
‘Well, Miss Morris,’ the doctor said as he finished examining his patient later that morning. ‘You were quite right to call me. I know you think your father has TB, but I’m not too certain of that. We shall do some tests and they will give us a better idea. In the meantime, keep him warm in bed; give him milky drinks and soft foods – nothing spicy for a while at least. It may be ulcers – they cause pain, but a severe attack like this is rare; we’re not sure what causes ulcers in the first place, but bad eating habits can aggravate them in certain patients.’
He was an attractive man with a pleasant smile and a way of looking at you that was appealing. Michelle had been surprised at how young and enthusiastic he was. The doctor they usually saw was much older and set in his ways; this man was bound to have new ideas and theories of his own. Perhaps they’d all been wrong to jump to conclusions, but TB was prevalent in the poorer districts and she knew both her father and mother feared it. Dr Kent was new to the area; he hadn’t been here long enough to understand how many people suffered from bad conditions and poor diets. Yet she would give him the benefit of the doubt and pray that he was right.
‘Bert likes spicy foods,’ Mrs Morris said as they stood at the top of the stairs after leaving the patient to rest. He’d been given something to help him sleep, as he was restless and kept trying to get out of bed. ‘He had some food last night at the pub. It smelled awful to me, and tasted very hot, but Bert has always liked those kinds of foods.’
‘Yes, and that makes me think it may be ulcers, Mrs Morris, rather than TB. I know he’s had a bad cough for a long time, because your daughter told me so and she’s a good nurse – but the blood he coughed up may have been caused by ulcers rather than tuberculosis.’
Mrs Morris looked at him uncertainly. ‘Is that better or worse news, Doctor?’
‘Better – providing you can keep him off greasy foods. Vinegary things are often as bad – so from here on it’ll be rice pudding, jelly, blancmange and soft mashed potato with mince and gravy or boiled fish rather than the things he likes, Mrs Morris. However, he may have to go into hospital for tests. They will sort him out and, if I’m right, he’ll have a good chance of getting over it.’
While Michelle nipped back into the bedroom to make sure that her father was resting, Mrs Morris went downstairs to see the doctor off. When she returned, her eyes were wet with tears.
‘Thank you for stopping until the doctor came,’ she said. ‘You should get off now, Michelle. You don’t want to be late for work.’
‘It’s all right, Mum, I’m on the early evening shift today. I rang and swopped with Paula; she didn’t mind; it means she can go out with her boyfriend this evening.’
‘Oh, then let’s have a cuppa,’ her mother said and looked at her anxiously. ‘Do you think Dr Kent is right – that your father’s cough is bronchitis and the blood was due to ulcers?’
‘I don’t know, Mum. Dad’s been losing a bit of weight recently and together with the cough I thought it might be TB. Did you know he was having stomach pains?’
Her mother shook her head. ‘Well, if it is ulcers he won’t like rice pudding and mashed potatoes for his tea. Your dad loves a fry-up or roast beef, and those’ll be on the forbidden list.’
‘If it is ulcers, he’ll have to be sensible and learn to stay away from the foods that upset him.’
‘Well, I’m glad it happened now; it may bring him to his senses. I’ve been telling him to have that cough seen to but he wouldn’t go to the doctor.’ She wrinkled her brow. ‘I don’t know this doctor, Michelle. Is he new to the practice?’
‘Yes, I think so. We use old Dr Simpson’s practice for the children at St Saviour’s sometimes, but I haven’t seen Dr Kent before.’ She’d thought him attractive, in a cool, remote sort of way; his hair was dark ash blond and his skin fair and his eyes a sort of greenish brown, or what some people called hazel.
‘Well, he seems nice and efficient, though he doesn’t smile much,’ Mrs Morris said. ‘I must admit I was terrified when your father brought up that blood. If you hadn’t been here, I’m not sure what I would’ve done.’
‘Well, I was here.’ Michelle squeezed her mother’s arm. ‘You’ve got to stop worrying and look after yourself, Mum. I’ve noticed how tired you’ve been lately and I think you do too much.’
‘I’ve been worrying about your father. I dread the winter for him and keep thinking it’s time he found himself a job inside somewhere – but he says there aren’t enough jobs going – and we do need more money. At times we’ve hardly enough for the rent, let alone the coal and our food. I wish your dad could get a steady job, something reliable.’
Michelle looked at her thoughtfully. ‘If there was a different sort of job going – slow steady work – do you think Dad would take it?’
‘Give him a chance! What are you thinking of?’
‘I can’t say too much yet; I need to talk to someone first – but leave it with me …’
‘Can I talk to you, Angela?’ Michelle hovered hesitantly in the doorway of Angela’s office. ‘I wanted to ask something – it’s personal.’
‘Of course, come in,’ Angela said and smiled, indicating that she should sit in the chair opposite.
‘It’s a bit awkward,’ Michelle said, feeling almost afraid to ask, now she was here. ‘My father was ill this morning. I had the doctor in and he thinks he may have ulcers in his stomach – and his cough gets worse every winter … and Mum and me, we thought it was time he did an indoor job. Well, indoors more than out – and I heard that the caretaker here was leaving so he could live near his daughter in the country, and wondered if, when he goes …’
‘You would like your father to be caretaker here?’ Angela looked thoughtful. ‘Our present caretaker is planning to stay on until a few weeks before Christmas. Do you think your father will be sufficiently recovered by then?’
‘Yes, if has treatment for his problem he should be feeling better by then,’ Michelle said, her cheeks warm. It was much harder to ask for a favour than she’d imagined. ‘I was hoping he might be considered.’
‘I can promise you he will be considered if he applies,’ Angela said. ‘I’m only one of several people concerned in appointing a new caretaker, Michelle. It would have to go to the Board. I couldn’t tell you now that he would get the position, but I’m sure that his application would be given every attention.’
‘Thank you, that’s all I wanted – just that he could be given a chance. So many men don’t even get an answer to their applications for work these days.’
‘Yes, I do understand …’ Angela hesitated, and then seemed to make up her mind. She looked in her drawer and took out her notepad. ‘What is your father’s current job, and what work has he done in the past?’
‘He was a crane driver for years, a skilled man,’ Michelle said. ‘He used to load and unload cargoes but then the war started and he was in the army for a while, until they invalided him out in ’43. When he came back he had a weak chest; the doctor said it was bronchitis, but it has been worse recently – and he’s been working as a casual worker on the docks for a long time, doing anything he can really.’
‘Do you think he could put up shelves and mend broken windows – things like that?’ Angela asked. ‘It would involve some outside work I suppose, but our caretaker has to look after the garden and the boiler in the cellar …’
‘I think it would be better than what he does now – and it would be regular.’
‘Well, I’ll see what I can do – but I can’t promise anything. You know I can only give my opinion if asked – so perhaps your father would call in one day and have a chat when he’s feeling well again.’
‘Thank you,’ Michelle said, her eyes pricking with sudden tears. ‘You didn’t mind my asking about the post of caretaker here?’
‘Not at all; I’ve been given the task of finding someone suitable and if your father was willing to try, I dare say he might suit us. You are one of our best nurses, so he comes with a good recommendation … but it would have to go to the Board before it could be confirmed.’
‘I don’t know how to thank you …’
‘Let’s see what happens first. We haven’t actually had any other applicants yet, though I’m sure we shall. And your father might not wish to take up the position; it isn’t a great deal of money for a skilled man.’
‘Mum is more interested in Dad’s health than money,’ Michelle said. ‘I’m sure she would manage, even if she did a part time job to help out herself.’
‘Then ask Mr Morris to come and see me here when he feels up to it,’ Angela said. ‘And now I’d better not keep you; I’m sure you’ll be needed elsewhere.’
‘Yes, I shall,’ Michelle said, glancing at the watch pinned to her uniform. ‘I mustn’t be late. Thank you so much!’
‘I haven’t done anything yet.’
Michelle nodded, but she was feeling excited as she left the office. If her father truly had ulcers and bronchitis, then a caretaker’s job could be exactly what he needed …