Secret Affairs: The End of Faking It / Her Secret Fling / The Ultimate Risk

CHAPTER FOUR

PENNY felt as if she’d overdosed on no-doze. Her heart hammered, she fidgeted. Hyperalert, she watched every second, hoping he’d hurry up and come say hi. But he didn’t. Minutes dragged like decades. Mason had emailed in again to say he’d spend another day working at home. Maybe Carter was with him. Or maybe he was locked in his office down the stairs. She wasn’t going to go see. She wasn’t going to waste another minute wondering where he was or why he’d done the vanishing act last night. And she certainly wasn’t going to regret the fact that he had.

Eventually she went out for a power walk. Fresh air might help her regain her equilibrium and stop her from doing all those things she’d told herself she wasn’t going to do.

Twenty minutes later she walked back into the building, even more hot and edgy. As the automatic door slid shut behind her Carter stepped out of the lift. He didn’t hesitate when he saw her, just strode straight across the foyer like a man possessed.

‘Did you enjoy the rest of your night?’ he asked, still ten paces away.

‘Yes,’ she said brightly. She’d hated it. She’d danced and danced until she couldn’t fake it any more and gone home to stare at the ceiling.

‘Really?’ Now he looked angry and he lengthened his stride even more.

A rabbit in the headlights, Penny failed to leap out of his path. And all of a sudden he did what she’d wanted him to do less than twelve hours ago—yanked her close—one hand round her waist, his other pulling her plait so she was forced to tilt her head back. Not that he needed to force it, because she melted right into him. For hours in the early morning she’d lain half asleep, dreaming of this. Now she wasn’t sure if she was still dreaming—and only by clinging, by putting her palm to that sharp jaw could she be sure that he was real and kissing her hot and rough and right in the middle of Reception.

Her groan caught in her mouth as he plundered. How could she ever say no to this? She was lost to it, utterly lost.

But just as suddenly he pulled away.

‘You’re still hungry.’ His words whispered low and angry.

Stunned, she stared. And by the time she got herself together enough to say something, he’d already gone out of the door behind her.

Her anger hit. What the hell did he think he was doing, carrying on like that in public? Thank heaven no clients had been waiting for appointments. Only the receptionist was there, though that meant everyone in the company would know about it by now—she’d have emailed them already. Not that they’d be surprised after the dirty dancing display last night. Penny ground her teeth. Yes, it was a good thing she was going soon because things were getting more than a little untidy. She marched up the stairs and felt even more hot and furious by the time she got to the top.

Files, she’d sort out the wretched files. She stomped over to the cabinet and slid the drawer open, pointlessly checking all the contents were in the right order. Which they were—but the perfectionist in her just had to be sure.

‘Got you some tea to calm your nerves,’ Carter said smoothly.

She whirled fast to face him. Stepped so close, so quick, he actually took a step back and deposited the steaming cup on the nearest flat surface—the top of the cabinet. She moved closer still, keeping the scarcest of centimetres between them.

‘I don’t fool around at work, Carter.’ She furiously whispered in his face, using anger to hide both the turmoil raging inside her and the desire he’d roused so effortlessly. ‘Don’t embarrass me like that again.’

His hands whipped round her, pulling her flush against him. Letting her know how lethally he was turned on. Her nerves shook beneath her skin, her muscles melted—only to reform even tighter and aching to feel his impression.

‘You liked it, Penny.’ His hand firmly cupped her butt, pulling her yet closer against his thick erection. ‘You liked it as much as I did.’

She had and she did nothing to deny it now, did nothing to pull away from the searing embrace. If anything she melted that millimetre more into him. There could be no denying the force of it. She gasped as he thrust his hips harder against her—his expression told her he knew it all. But he was angry too.

‘Who was it who ended that kiss, Penny? Who was it who pulled back?’ His smile was a snarl. ‘If it had been up to you we’d be sweaty and catching our breath right about now. If we’d been alone you’d have let me do anything. And you’d just about be ready to go for round two.’

Her blood beat through her with such force she felt dizzy. ‘Well, then, what the hell were you thinking making that move there?’

He held still for a moment, and although his body remained rock hard she felt the anger drain away from him. The next second he actually laughed. ‘I wasn’t thinking. Isn’t that obvious?’

Shaking his head ruefully, he looked up above them. ‘Here we are again. I’m starting to think this plant is like some kind of magic mistletoe.’

‘You always have the urge to kiss me when you’re under it?’ The urge to flash him a look was irresistible.

‘I always have the urge to kiss you, full stop.’

Admittedly he didn’t sound that thrilled about it, but even so a spurt of pleasure rippled through her. It was good he wanted her like that. It evened the score. She leaned back against the filing cabinet and looked at him, feeling as if she’d done her warm-up and was ready for the race—excited, a little nervous, full of anticipation.

Carter stepped forward, closing the gap until he was fully pressed against her again. His blue-green gaze devoured her features. She wished he’d just hurry up and kiss her. She put her palm to his jaw again, unable to resist just that small touch.

‘Go on, Penny.’ Ragged-voiced, he dared her. ‘Deal with me.’

Their mouths hovered, barely a millimetre apart, hot breath mingling with even hotter desire. How could she possibly resist? She opened her mouth that little more.

‘Well,’ a deep voice sounded. ‘Looks like I finally get to meet him.’

Penny leapt a clear foot, or she would have if Carter hadn’t had such a grip on her—a grip that suddenly tightened.

‘Matt,’ she squeaked. Wide-eyed, she stared past Carter at the tall figure standing beside her desk.

‘I’ve heard so much about you but I didn’t think I’d get to meet you.’ Matt walked closer, his too-intelligent eyes nailing Carter and then flicking to her. ‘Penny, you didn’t tell us he actually worked with you.’

She was still trying to wriggle out of Carter’s grip but he’d tightened it even more to pinch-point. ‘Yes,’ she managed to say softly but Matt didn’t hear her.

‘You’re him, right?’ Matt asked Carter direct. ‘The “man” she keeps emailing about—the one who dines and dances and takes her away every weekend.’

Penny wanted the world to open up and suck her under right this second. Because what would Carter think about that lot of detail? What would Matt think when he found out the truth?

She looked into Carter’s eyes, saw the blues and greens and ice-cold anger out in equal doses. She pressed against him just that little more, softening herself in the hopes he’d also soften. Okay, she was pleading as she, oh, so slightly nodded her head at him, all but begging with her eyes.

But Carter felt as if he were made of rock as he rubbed one fist across his lips. He seemed to see into her soul with his bleak, penetrating glare. She waited for the axe to fall. Carter wanted her but he didn’t think much of her, she knew that. So he wasn’t about to come riding to her rescue now.

And Matt, impossibly tall and grown-up Matt, was waiting for an answer.

‘Yes,’ Carter finally said. ‘I’m that man.’

In shocked relief Penny softened against Carter completely, but felt every one of his muscles flinch.

‘I’m Matt Fairburn, Penny’s brother.’ Matt flashed one of his rare smiles and held out his hand.

An infinitesimal hesitation and Carter reached out too. ‘Carter Dodds, Penny’s man.’

It was a firm handshake, Penny could tell. It went on that half-second too long, as if they were testing each other’s muscles and manliness or something. Which was ridiculous, because last time she’d seen Matt he’d still been half-boy, half-man. The intense student too focused and serious for his own good. But now he was … different. Now he was assessing, and judging—just as he wanted to do in his career.

She took the opportunity of their formal introductions to extricate herself from the rock and the hard place she was literally squashed between. Emotionally, she was even more caught.

‘What are you doing here, Matt?’ She summoned a big smile as she asked, because she had a fictional happy life to live up to.

‘Coming to make sure you’ll be around to have dinner with me. Has to be tonight because I’ve got a conference for the next couple of days.’

She hadn’t known he was in town. Why hadn’t he emailed to tell her? ‘Of course I can do dinner,’ she said brightly.

‘No other plans?’ he asked.

‘None I can’t change.’

Matt’s brows lifted. ‘What about the man?’ He turned to Carter. ‘You’ll come too, right? I want to grill you. Being the only one in the family to meet you so far, I’ve got responsibilities to those back home. Namely Mum.’

He spoke casually but Penny understood the undertone. Her kid brother was checking up on her. She tried to make her muscles relax but her smile felt superglued on. ‘Carter has to work tonight. Sorry, Matt. He has a meeting.’

‘Actually, honey, that one got cancelled.’ Carter tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as if he had all the rights of such casual intimacy. ‘That’s what I was coming to tell you only I got … distracted.’ He looked from her eyes to her mouth in a blatant sensual stamp and then he turned. ‘I’d love to be there, Matt.’

All Penny’s internal organs shrank. ‘But—’

‘You can let me know for sure later,’ Matt broke in, his expression impassive. ‘I have to see your flat too, Penny. More of Mum’s orders.’

‘You should have warned me.’ Penny laughed. ‘I’d have tidied up.’

Matt answered with a quick rare smile again, but Carter wasn’t smiling at all.

‘I’ll walk you out,’ Penny said quickly, wanting to take charge of the plans without Carter listening in. She manufactured more brightness as she led him to the lift. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming sooner? I could have made some plans.’

‘Wanted to surprise you.’

Yeah, he was checking up. She hated that he felt he had to do that. Her little brother had had to grow up too soon and he’d got all paternal and protective on her. It was her fault. He should be out there having wild times of his own, not worrying about her or carrying the burden of their parents’ worry for her. And that was her fault too. She’d tried to ease it—hence her stupid, overly imaginative emails.

But now she smiled and gave him a hug. ‘It’s so awesome to see you. I’ll text you with details of where to meet, okay?’

‘You mean you actually have my number?’ Matt asked dryly. ‘I wondered.’

Yeah, it was only the occasional email that she sent. She rarely texted, and never talked. It was easier that way. She’d never said she was brave. And she was feeling beyond cowardly now. She went back into the lift and reluctantly pushed the button for the top. Droplets of discomfort sweat slicked her skin yet she felt chilled to the bone.

Carter stood by the windows in Mason’s office, looking down at the street scene below. She closed the door behind her and waited.

After a moment that made her nerves stretch past break point, he turned.

‘Just how many men have you got on the go, Penny?’

She shook her head. Glad his desk was between her and him. Because he was looking more than a little angry and she needed all four feet of solid wood between them.

‘Tell me about him.’ Carter’s voice lifted. ‘He’s some sugar daddy you spend the weekends with?’

Her flush deepened. ‘No.’

‘No?’

Penny swallowed the little pride she had left. ‘I made him up.’

Carter blinked. ‘Pardon?’

‘I made him up. In my emails home, I invented a relationship.’

For the first time she saw Carter at a loss for words—momentarily. His eyes narrowed and he took a couple of steps closer. ‘You’re telling me this “man” doesn’t exist? You don’t actually have a real boyfriend.’

‘No.’

‘And there’s no one you’re dating, or sleeping with, or friends with benefits or whatever you care to call it.’

She held his gaze. ‘I’m not seeing anyone at the moment. No.’

He nodded slowly. ‘When were you last seeing someone?’

‘It’s been a few months.’ She was flushed with heat—anger, embarrassment and the burning need for him to believe her. For some stupid reason it was important he understand. ‘I don’t remember exactly how long.’

‘But Aaron doesn’t count?’

She lifted her chin and answered pointedly. ‘A couple of kisses don’t count.’

Carter’s jaw went more angular. ‘So how many kisses haven’t you counted in the last few months?’

Her brows shot up. ‘Aaron. Another guy. You.’

‘My kisses don’t count?’ he asked softly.

‘Definitely not.’

His devil grin flashed. ‘I’ve figured it out.’

Penny blinked at his suddenly bright demeanour. ‘Figured what out?’

‘How to tell when you’re lying.’

She jerked. ‘What? How?’

He shook his head and laughed aloud. ‘Not telling because then you’ll stop doing it.’

‘Stop doing what?’ She sighed and gave up, knowing he wasn’t about to spill it. Besides, there was something more important to know. ‘You do believe me, don’t you?’

He went serious again. ‘Yeah, I do.’

She was absurdly relieved. She’d been a complete fool with the emails and he knew it, but oddly that didn’t matter so long as he believed her when she told the truth.

He walked around his desk, picked up her hand and ran a light finger over the bruises still marking her wrist. ‘You know I just said that about coming to dinner tonight to wind you up … make up whatever excuse.’ He gave her an ironic glance. ‘You’ve got the experience. Your brother might not know your little giveaway.’

Penny frowned and pulled her hand free.

Dinner with Matt. She’d half forgotten it in her need to clear up the confusion with Carter. But now she thought about it, she was dreading it already—the questions, the search for conversation, all the anxiety … She just didn’t want to face it. She’d spent years not facing it.

Actually maybe it would be a good idea to have someone with her. With extra company she could pre sent the happy façade for the night, no problem. And she really was happy. It was just that she’d added an imaginary gorgeous man to give the picture a fully glossy finish. Companionship without complications—she had enough complications inside already. It had been so long since her last real, short-term gorgeous man, she’d invented one.

Now she looked at Carter. Handsome, charming, socially expert Carter.

‘I think you should come with me,’ she said.

His brows shot up.

‘No, I mean it.’ She stepped in closer to him. ‘Come to dinner. After all, Matt’s expecting you now.’

His attention dropped to her body and back up. ‘Well, isn’t that your problem for misleading him in the first place?’

‘But you played up to it. The least you can do is follow through.’

Carter leaned back against the edge of his desk, a small smile tweaking his mouth.

Really, the more Penny thought about it, the better an idea it was. Matt could maybe learn a few things from Carter—social smoothness for one. And Carter would deflect the attention off herself. She didn’t know how well she could maintain the façade on her own. Most importantly, the conversation would stay in safe waters. Matt wouldn’t drag up the past with Carter present.

‘I’ve seen you talking with the guys who work here … And the girls.’ Her gaze narrowed. ‘You’re good socially.’

Too good actually. Every woman looked at him as if he were the biggest honeypot to hit the town in a decade or forty—and they all wanted a taste.

‘Is that a compliment? Because the way you’re talking I’m not sure …’ He studied her slyly.

She couldn’t hold back her smile. He was a charming wretch and he knew it.

‘Come to dinner with me,’ she leant forward to whisper. ‘Be my pretend man.’

Carter’s blood was still burning from the horror of seeing her dance with someone else last night. He wasn’t a hypocrite—he didn’t expect women to have less experience than him, but the thought of her being in bed with another guy had made his stomach acid boil. The foreign jealousy rotted him from the inside out and he badly needed to ditch it. He’d spent all night awake wondering if she’d taken William home. And despite his vow to forget her, when he’d seen her in Reception this afternoon the urge had hit. He’d had to touch and find out—something, anything—like an animal scenting out a threat. So completely caveman and so unlike his usual carefree style.

And now, now the relief in knowing she hadn’t was making him positively giddy, because here he was about to say yes to the most stupid suggestion he’d heard in ages. But he was too intrigued not to. ‘Why did you make him up?’

Her gaze dropped. ‘I wanted everyone back home to think I’m happy.’

Was she not happy? ‘And you have to have a boyfriend to prove that?’

‘No,’ she said quickly. ‘I have a great life—great job, I travel lots. But the man was the icing for them. I know they worry I’m lonely.’

Which she wasn’t, of course. She had thousands of adoring suitors. She could have a man every night of the week if she wanted. But it was interesting that she didn’t want that. It was interesting that she wanted to kiss him.

‘So you want me to be the icing?’ he croaked. Because if that meant she’d use her tongue on him, he was so happy to oblige. She tossed her head back. ‘It’s what we’re all supposed to want, isn’t it? Someone who cares, who holds you, who’s there for you. Companionship, commitment. Happy ever after. That whole cliché.’

She thought wanting a life partner was a cliché? Hell, where had she been all this time? Because he didn’t want a life partner either. He just wanted some uncomplicated fun. ‘But that’s not what you actually want for yourself?’

He could see the goose bumps on her arms as she recoiled. She really only wanted a lover for a night or two? That was fine by him—although he might have to push for a few nights. ‘So what did you tell them about your man?’

‘I never named him, always kept everything very vague.’

‘How long have you been mentioning him?’

‘Only in the last couple of months. They’ve been putting on the pressure for me to visit home and he was my excuse for saying no. Because we’ve been doing lots of little trips away.’

She didn’t want to visit home? ‘How long since you’ve been back?’

She looked away. ‘A few years. I’ve been travelling a lot.’

But there were thousands of planes crossing the globe daily. She could go to New Zealand for a visit and be back the same day. It was obvious there was more she wasn’t saying. Did he really want to know what it was?

Actually he was a little curious. But clearly she didn’t want to share and he respected her for that. Better than getting a massive ‘emo and drama’ dump as his ex had always done. But even so, he couldn’t let it go completely.

‘I still don’t really see why you had to make up a whole relationship,’ he said. ‘And why you want me with you so badly tonight.’

She froze. Carter’s radar screamed louder. She was totally hiding something. And he was only human. So he waited, making her reply by pure expectation.

‘The truth is I was one of those fat wallflowers as a teen.’ Her head bowed as she mumbled.

Carter gritted his teeth to stop his jaw falling open.

‘Overweight, acne, rubbish clothes.’ She turned away from him. ‘Total pizza face. The worst you can imagine.’

Her self-scathing tone rubbed him raw, making him feel an emotion he couldn’t quite define. And he couldn’t imagine actually. She had the smoothest skin—not a single scar marked her flawless features—and she was so slim—borderline too thin with a tiny waist and tiny wrists and tiny ankles. But she still had some curves that made his blood thicken.

‘I wanted to be a whole new me—fit body, jet-set life, great job, gorgeous guy.’

He sighed and reached out to stop those curves escaping from him altogether. So she wanted to look good with a suitable male accessory. He should not be flattered about being a good enough accessory for her. That should not be pleasing him the sick way it was. But he couldn’t help feeling for her. No wonder she was always so beautifully finished—the taunts of teenage years had obviously gone deep. But didn’t everyone have scars from those turbulent times? He sure as hell did—it was thanks to the women in his life then that he’d put the Teflon coating on his heart.

‘Okay.’ He pulled her close and tried to tease her smile back. ‘What do I get out of it? What are you going to offer me?’

Her lashes lifted and the black pools glittered at him. ‘You want me so much you’d sell yourself like some sort of escort?’

He was glad to hear her vixen tongue again and he leaned forward to reward her, whispering so close his lips brushed her ear. ‘You have to agree that we kiss like nothing else. I’m very interested to see what it’d be like if we did something more.’

‘If you wanted something more then why did you walk out so fast last night?’ she breathed back.

‘Why did you go dance with someone else?’

‘That bothered you?’ She leaned away and watched his face as he answered.

‘I don’t do commitment, Penny,’ he said honestly. ‘But I do do exclusive. And I do respect.’

She drew in a deep breath. ‘Ditto.’