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‘I didn’t feel relief. I felt like I’d been turned upside down and wasn’t sure where I’d landed. Couldn’t find my feet. My ex and I had been together off and on for years, married for seven. Then I was on my own. It wasn’t just her I’d lost. It was a way of life.’
‘I understand that,’ she said.
The shadow that passed across her face hinted at unspoken pain. She’d gone through divorce too. Though she hadn’t talked much about it on the previous occasions when they had met.
He dragged in a deep breath. Spit it out. Get this over and done with. ‘It took a few wipe-out weeks at work for me to realise going out and drinking wasn’t the way to deal with it.’
‘It usually isn’t,’ she said.
He was a guy. A tough, successful guy. To him, being unable to cope with loss was a sign of weakness. Weakness he wasn’t genetically programmed to admit to. But the way he’d fallen to pieces had lost him money. That couldn’t be allowed to happen again.
‘Surely you had counselling?’ she said. ‘I did after my divorce. It helped.’
‘Guys like me don’t do counselling.’
‘You bottle it all up inside you instead?’
‘Something like that.’
‘That’s not healthy—it festers,’ she said. ‘Not that it’s any of my business.’
The definitive turning point in his life had not been his divorce. That had come much earlier, when he’d been aged fifteen, angry and rebellious. He’d been forced to face up to the way his life was going, the choices he would have to make. To take one path or another.
Jake didn’t know how much Eliza knew about Dominic’s charity—The Underground Help Centre in Brisbane for homeless young people—or Jake’s involvement in it. A social worker with whom both Dominic and Jake had crossed paths headed the charity. Jim Hill had helped Jake at a time when he’d most needed it. He had become a friend. Without poking or prying, he had noticed Jake’s unexpected devastation after his marriage break-up, and pointed him in the right direction for confidential help.
‘Someone told me about a support group for divorced guys,’ Jake said, with a quick, sideways glance to Eliza and in a tone that did not invite further questions.
‘That’s good,’ she said with an affirmative nod.
He appreciated that she didn’t push it. He still choked at the thought he’d had to seek help.
The support group had been exclusive, secret, limited to a small number of elite men rich enough to pay the stratospheric fees. Men who wanted to protect their wealth in the event of remarriage, who needed strategies to avoid the pitfalls of dating after divorce. Jake had wanted to know how to barricade his heart as well as his bank balance.
The men and the counsellors had gone into lockdown for a weekend at a luxury retreat deep in the rainforest. It had been on a first-name-only basis, but Jake had immediately recognised some of the high-profile men. No doubt they had recognised him too. But they had proved to be discreet.
‘Men don’t seem to seek help as readily as women,’ Eliza said.
‘It was about dealing with change more than anything,’ he said.
‘Was that why you didn’t get in touch?’ she said, with an edge to her voice. ‘You changed your mind?’
Jake looked straight ahead at the road. ‘I wasn’t ready for another relationship. I needed to learn to live alone. That meant no dating. In particular not dating you.’
Her gasp told him how much he’d shocked her.
‘Me? Why?’
‘From the first time we met you sparked something that told me there could be life after divorce. I could see myself getting serious about you. I don’t want serious. But I couldn’t get you out of my head. I had to see you again.’
To be sure she was real and not some fantasy that had built up in his mind.
* * *
Eliza didn’t even notice the awesome view of the ocean that stretched as far as the eye could see. Or the sign indicating the turn-off to a crocodile farm that would normally make her shudder. All she was aware of was Jake. She stared at him.
‘Serious? But we hardly knew each other. Did you think I had my life on hold until you were free so I could bolt straight into a full-on relationship?’
Jake took his eyes off the road for a second to glance at her. ‘Come on, Eliza. There was something there between us. Something more than a surface attraction. Something we both wanted to act on.’
‘Maybe,’ she said.
Of course there had been something there. But she wasn’t sure she wanted to admit to it. Not when she’d spent all that time trying to suppress it. Not when it had the potential to hurt her. Those three months of seeing his divorce splashed over the media, of speculation on who might hook up with the billionaire bachelor had hurt. He had said he’d get in touch. Then he hadn’t. How could she trust his word again? She couldn’t afford to be distracted from Party Queens by heartbreak at such a crucial time in the growth of her business.
The set of his jaw made him seem very serious. ‘I didn’t want to waste your time when I had nothing to offer you. But ultimately I had to see you.’
‘Six months later? Maybe you should have let me be the one to decide whether I wanted to waste my time or not?’ She willed any hint of a wobble from her voice.
‘I needed that time on my own. Possibly it was a mistake not to communicate that with you. I was married a long time. Now I’m single again at thirty-two. I haven’t had a lot of practice at this.’
Eliza stared in disbelief at the gorgeous man beside her in the driver’s seat. At his handsome profile with the slightly crooked nose and strong jaw. His shoulders so broad they took up more than his share of the car. His tanned arms, strong and muscular, dusted with hair that glinted gold in the sunlight coming through the window of the car. His hands— Best she did not think about those hands and how they’d felt on her bare skin back in magical Montovia.
‘I find that difficult to buy,’ she said. ‘You’re a really good-looking guy. There must be women stampeding to date you.’
He shrugged dismissively. ‘All that eligible billionaire stuff the media likes to bang on about brings a certain level of attention. Even before the divorce was through I had women hounding me with dollar signs blazing in their eyes.’
‘I guess that kind of attention comes with the territory. But surely not everyone would be a gold-digger. You must have dated some genuine women.’
She hated the thought of him with another woman. Not his ex-wife. That had been long before she’d met him. But Eliza had no claim on him—no right to be jealous. For all his fine talk about how he hadn’t been able to forget her, the fact remained she was only here with him by accident.
Jake slowly shook his head. ‘I haven’t dated anyone since the divorce.’ He paused for a long moment, the silence only broken by the swish of the tyres on the road, the air blowing from the air-conditioning unit. Jake gave her another quick, sideward glance. ‘Don’t you get it, Eliza? There’s only one woman who interests me. And she’s sitting here, right beside me.’
Eliza suddenly understood the old expression about having all the wind blown out of her sails. A stunned, ‘Oh...’ was all she could manage through her suddenly accelerated breath.
Jake looked straight ahead as he spoke, as if he was finding the words difficult to get out. ‘The support group covered dating after divorce. It suggested six months before starting to date. Three months was long enough. The urge to see you again became overwhelming. I didn’t get where I am in the world by following the rules. All that dating-after-divorce advice flew out the window.’
Eliza frowned. ‘How can you say that? You left our seeing each other again purely to chance. If we hadn’t met at the airport—’
‘I didn’t leave anything to chance. After six months of radio silence I doubted you’d welcome a call from me. Any communication needed to be face to face. I flew down to Sydney to see you. Then met with Dominic to suss out how the land lay.’
‘You what? Andie didn’t say anything to me.’
‘Because I asked Dominic not to tell her. He found out you were flying to Port Douglas this morning. I couldn’t believe you were heading for a town where I had a house. Straight away I booked onto the same flight.’
Eliza took a few moments to absorb this revelation. ‘That was very cloak and dagger. What would have happened if you hadn’t found me at the airport?’
He shrugged those broad shoulders. ‘I would have abducted you.’ At her gasp he added, ‘Just kidding. But I would have found a way for us to reconnect in Port Douglas. Even if I’d had to call every resort and hotel I would have tracked you down. I just had to see you, Eliza. To see if that attraction I’d felt was real.’
‘I...I don’t know what to say. Except I’m flattered.’
There was a long beat before he spoke. ‘And pleased?’
The tinge of uncertainty to his voice surprised her.
‘Very pleased.’
In fact her heart was doing cartwheels of exultation. She was so dizzy that the warning from her brain was having trouble getting through. Jake tracking her down sounded very romantic. So did his talk of abduction. But she’d learned to be wary of the type of man who would ride roughshod over her wishes and needs. Like her domineering father. Like her controlling ex. She didn’t know Jake very well. It must take a certain kind of ruthlessness to become a billionaire. She couldn’t let her guard down.
‘So, about that coffee we talked about...?’ he said. ‘Do you want to make it lunch?’
‘Are you asking me on a date, Jake?’ Her tone was deliberately flirtatious.
His reply was very serious. ‘I realise I’ve surprised you with this. But be assured I’ve released the baggage of my marriage. I’ve accepted my authentic self. And if you—’
She couldn’t help a smile. ‘You sound like you’ve swallowed the “dating after divorce” handbook.’
His brows rose. ‘I told you I was out of practice. What else should I say?’
Eliza started to laugh. ‘This is getting a little crazy. Pull over, will you, please?’ she said. She indicated a layby ahead with a wave of her hand.
Jake did so with a sudden swerve and squealing of tyres that had her clutching onto the dashboard of the car. He skidded to a halt under the shade of some palm trees.
Still laughing, Eliza unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to face him. ‘Can I give you a dating after divorce tip? Don’t worry so much about whether it’s going to lead to something serious before you’ve even gone on a first date.’
‘Was that what I did?’
She found his frown endearing. How could a guy who was one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country be having this kind of trouble?
‘You’re over-thinking all this,’ she said. ‘So am I. We’re making it so much harder than it should be. In truth, it’s simple. There’s an attraction here. You’re divorced. I’m divorced. We don’t answer to anyone except ourselves. There’s nothing to stop us enjoying each other’s company in any way we want to.’
He grinned in that lazy way she found so attractive. ‘Nothing at all.’
‘Shall we agree not to worry about tomorrow when we haven’t even had a today yet?’
Eliza had been going to add not even a morning. But that conjured up an image of waking up next to Jake, in a twist of tangled sheets. Better not think about mornings. Or nights.
Jake’s grin widened. ‘You’ve got four days of vacation. I’ve got nothing to do except decide whether or not to offload my house in Port Douglas.’
‘No expectations. No promises. No apologies.’
‘Agreed,’ he said. He held out his hand to shake and seal the deal.
She edged closer to him. ‘Forget the handshake. Why don’t we start with a kiss?’
CHAPTER FOUR
JAKE KNEW THERE was a dating after divorce guideline regarding the first physical encounter, but he’d be damned if he could think about that right now. Any thoughts other than of Eliza had been blown away in a blaze of anticipation and excitement at the invitation in her eyes—a heady mix of sensuality, impatience and mischief.
It seemed she had forgiven him for his broken promise. He had a second chance with her. It was so much more than he could have hoped for—or probably deserved after his neglect.
He hadn’t told her the whole truth about why he hadn’t been in touch. It was true he hadn’t been able to forget her, had felt compelled to see her again. He was a man who liked to be in the company of one special woman and he’d hungered for her. But not necessarily to commit to anything serious. Not now. Maybe not ever again. Not with her. Not with any woman. However it seemed she wasn’t looking for anything serious either. Four days without strings? That sounded like a great idea.
She slid a little closer to him from her side of the car. Reached down and unbuckled his seat belt with a low, sweet laugh that sent his awareness levels soaring. When her fingers inadvertently trailed over his thigh he shuddered and pulled her kissing distance close.
He focused with intense anticipation on her sweet mouth. Her lips were beautifully defined, yet lush and soft and welcoming. She tilted her face to him, making her impatience obvious. Jake needed no urging. He pressed his mouth against hers in a tender kiss, claiming her at last. She tasted of salt—peanuts on the plane, perhaps?—and something sweet. Chocolate? Sweet and sharp at the same time. Like Eliza herself—an intriguing combination.
She was beautiful, but his attraction had never been just to her looks. He liked her independence, her intelligence, her laughter.
The kiss felt both familiar and very different. Within seconds it was as if her kiss was all he’d ever known. Her lips parted under his as she gave a soft sigh of contentment.
‘At last,’ she murmured against his mouth.
Kissing Eliza for the first time in the front seat of a four-by-four was hardly ideal. Jake had forgotten how awkward it was to make out in a car. But having Eliza in his arms was way too exciting to be worrying about the discomfort of bumping into the steering wheel or handbrake. She held his face between her hands as she returned his kiss, her tongue sliding between his lips to meet his, teasing and exploring. He was oblivious to the car, their surroundings, the fact that they were parked in a public layby. He just wanted to keep kissing Eliza.
Was it seconds or minutes before Eliza broke away from him? That kind of excitement wasn’t easily measured. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes shades brighter, her lips swollen and pouting. She was panting, so it took her some effort to control her voice. ‘Kissing you was all I could think about that night in the castle.’
‘Me too,’ he said.
Only his thoughts had marched much further than kissing. That last night he hadn’t been able to sleep, taunted by the knowledge she was in the apartment next to his at the castle, overwhelmed by how much he wanted her. Back then his married state had been an obstacle. Now there was nothing stopping them from acting on the attraction between them.
He claimed her mouth again, deeper, more demanding. There’d been enough talking. He was seized with a sense of urgency to be with her while he could. He wasn’t going to ‘over-think’ about where this might lead. Six months of pent-up longing for this woman erupted into passion, fierce and hungry.
As their kiss escalated in urgency Jake pulled her onto his lap, one hand around her waist, the other resting against the side of the car to support her. He bunched her hair in his hand and tugged to tilt her face upward, so he could deepen the kiss, hungry for her, aching for more. The little murmurs of pleasure she made deep in her throat drove him crazy with want.
His hands slid down her bare arms, brushed the side curves of her breasts, the silkiness of her top. She gasped, placed both hands on his chest and pushed away. She started to laugh—that delightful, chiming laughter he found so enchanting.
‘We’re steaming up the windows here like a coupled of hormone-crazed adolescents,’ she said, her voice broken with laughter.
‘What’s wrong with being hormone-crazed adults,’ he said, his own voice hoarse and unsteady.
‘Making out in a car is seriously sexy. I don’t want to stop,’ she said, moaning when he nuzzled against the delicious softness of her throat, kissing and tasting.
The confined area of the car was filled with her scent, heady and intoxicating. ‘Me neither,’ he said.
Eliza was so relaxed and responsive she took away any thought of awkwardness. He glanced over to the back seat. There was more room there. It was wider and roomier.
‘The back seat would be more comfortable,’ he said.
He kissed her again, manoeuvring her towards the door. They would have to get out and transfer to the back, though it might be a laugh to try and clamber through the gap between the front seats. Why not?
Just then another car pulled into the layby and parked parallel to the four-by-four. Eliza froze in his arms. Their mouths were still pressed together. Her eyes communicated her alarm.
‘That puts paid to the back seat plan,’ he said, pulling away from her with a groan of regret.
‘Just as well, really,’ Eliza said breathlessly.
She smoothed her hair back from her face with her fingers and tucked it behind her ears. Even her ears were lovely—small and shell-like.
‘The media would love to catch their most eligible bachelor being indiscreet in public.’
He scowled. ‘I hate the way they call me a bachelor. Surely that’s a term for someone who has never been married?’
‘Most eligible divorcé doesn’t quite have the same headline potential, does it?’ she said.
‘I’d rather not feature in any headlines,’ he growled.
‘You might just have to hit yourself with the ugly stick, then,’ she said. ‘Handsome and rich makes you a magnet for headlines. You’re almost too good to be true.’ She laughed. ‘Though if you scowl like that they might forget about calling you the most eligible guy in the country.’
Jake exaggerated the scowl. He liked making her laugh. ‘Too good to be true, huh?’
‘Now you look cute,’ she said.
‘Cute? I do not want to be called cute,’ he protested.
‘Handsome, good-looking, hot, smokin’, babelicious—’
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