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Don’t ask.
Trina waved at me, and I waved back, but my attention quickly returned to Cole. He swung lightheartedly at the unknown girl, and she ducked before straightening and swinging at him. He ducked, too, and when she swung again, he caught her fist and jerked her against the hard line of his body, effectively disabling her.
She grinned up at him, all cocky assurance and feminine wiles—and she stayed right where she was, clearly happy to be there. A boy with a girlfriend should have released her and stepped back. Although Cole stiffened, the gleam in his eyes turning granite-hard, he remained just as he was, returning her grin with one of his own.
I wasn’t sure what any of that meant. I only knew I didn’t like it.
Time for Pep Talk Ali. He’s trained other girls. He’s even smiled at other girls. This isn’t romantic. This isn’t sexual.
Of course, Downer Ali wasn’t fully convinced (yes, there are many sides to me). He didn’t pick you up because he didn’t want to leave this girl’s side.
I shook my head. He was mine, my toy, and I wouldn’t share.
But what if he wanted me to share him?
No! Stupid insecurity. Cole wasn’t like that.
“Kitten,” Frosty called, sounding more than a little surprised. “How’d you find me?”
Kat lifted her chin, the picture of female pique. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m not here for you. But just so you know, I used my phenomenal detective skills, coupled with Ali’s mediocre directions. No offense,” she said to me.
“None taken.” Mediocre was actually better than I deserved.
“Don’t be that way, baby,” he replied, unwinding the tape from his fists. “You know I would have given you a ride on the Frosty Express. You just had to ask.”
Bronx rolled his eyes. Several of the other guys groaned.
Cole’s attention arrowed in my direction. Our gazes locked, and guilt filled those violet irises.
Guilt? Why guilt? Whatever the answer, it couldn’t be good.
I will not stomp into that ring.
I will not pull the pair apart.
I will not beat them both into pulp.
He set the girl away from him. Once again I found myself waiting and hoping for a vision. I was back on my feet. Things should go back to normal. But a moment passed, then another.
Normal remained at bay.
A dash of dread joined a pinch of jealousy, a recipe for trouble.
The new guy whistled under his breath, and my attention shifted to him. Our gazes collided. A second later, the world washed away, just as I’d wanted it to do with Cole—
—we were in my bedroom, standing beside my bed. No, we were lying on my bed. I’d just pushed him down. I tilted his head with one hand and pulled at his clothes with the other. Then I licked my way down his throat. I was making strange little growling noises, as if I’d never enjoyed a taste so much and had to have more—
“—Ali!” Cole shouted.
I blinked, and the vision evaporated.
Cole appeared, his features tense. “What just happened?”
“Dude,” Frosty said to the new guy. “Your brain just checked out for a bit. I haven’t seen anything like that since Cole first met Al—and uh, yeah, never mind.”
New Guy stared at me, looking suspicious and angry.
I stumbled back a few steps. I couldn’t believe I’d just mind-cheated on Cole. Like, big-time.
“Cole asked a good question,” New Guy croaked. “What just happened?”
So he’d had the vision, too. No. No, no, no. What did that mean? That strong of a connection had never happened with anyone but Cole. Why here? Why now? Why this guy?
“I have a better question,” the new girl said with a sweet Southern drawl. “Will someone please introduce me to the newcomers?”
I had to make sure the vision never came true. It couldn’t come true. It would mean Cole and I were over. It would mean the new life I’d carved for myself had crashed and burned.
A muscle ticked in Cole’s jaw. “Veronica, meet Ali. Ali, Veronica. She’s one of the slayers from Atlanta. Ali’s friend is Kat.”
“My girl,” Frosty added, proudly thumping his chest.
“In your dreams,” Kat replied.
They launched into a heated argument.
“Veronica is another of Cole’s exes,” Mackenzie piped up.
Oh, good glory, no!
“Not just any ex,” Veronica added, offering me a grin as sweet as her voice. “I’m his favorite.”
I stiffened, waiting for Cole to say the words Actually, Ali is my favorite—and she’s not an ex. He didn’t.
“Nice to meet you,” I whispered, fighting panic.
Once I hadn’t thought there was a girl more beautiful than Mackenzie. Now I knew how wrong I’d been. Veronica was. By far. She had perfectly tanned skin, dark glossy hair that was iron-board straight and fell to her shoulders and light green eyes.
Mackenzie had dark hair, though hers was curly, and dark green eyes. Put the three of us side by side, and you wouldn’t have to ask who didn’t belong. I had wavy hair so pale it could have been classified as old-granny white, and eyes so blue they bordered on freaky.
One of Veronica’s perfect brows lifted. “So you’re the infamous Ali Bell, huh? The girl with abilities no one can explain.”
I could see the Blood Lines we poured around our homes, a mix of chemicals the zombies couldn’t bypass. My body sometimes became a living flame, ashing every zombie I touched in seconds, while other slayers could only light their hands and needed several minutes to achieve the same results. I could sometimes see into the future.
I wasn’t sure why I could do these things, or what made me different. My slaying genes were no more special than anyone else’s.
“Yes,” I said. Cole wouldn’t look at me. Why wouldn’t he look at me? “That’s me.”
Veronica’s head tilted to the side as she scrutinized me more intently. “Did you use one of those abilities on my friend?”
I stuttered for a response, but came up empty.
“So what if she did?” Kat called, always my backup. “She’s got the boss man wrapped around her little finger. She can do what she wants, to whomever she wants.”
How much did I love that girl?
Venom leaked into Veronica’s sweetness. “No one wraps Cole Holland around their finger.”
Cole left both comments alone as he hopped out of the ring. “Later, Ronny. Practice without me.”
Ronny? He had an affectionate nickname for Mackenzie, too. Kenze, he sometimes called her. I hated both.
He stalked to an open treadmill, motioned me over and pushed a few buttons. “Before you hit the ring, you need to build your stamina back up. Do not—I repeat—do not overwork yourself.”
I closed the distance between us. “You’re right about the stamina, and I can tell you I have no plans to overwork myself, but first we need to talk.”
Still he refused to look at me. “Clearly, you had a vision with Gavin.”
Gavin. The name of the boy I’d just mind-molested. “Y-yes. But that’s not what I want to talk about. This Veronica girl—”
“What did you see?” he said.
“I, well, uh...” I couldn’t tell him, and I wouldn’t lie. So, where did that leave me? “Does it really matter? It won’t come true.” I wouldn’t let it.
“It matters. It will come true. And we both know it.” Cole walked away without another word—without ever looking back at me.
I watched him until he disappeared inside the locker room, my heart creating a staccato beat in my chest. Veronica—Ronny—followed him. She paused at the door, and she did look back at me.
To smirk.
Chapter 3
Can’t Go Back to Yesterday
While Kat and I had run the treadmills side by side, and I’d tried not to worry about the vision with Gavin and Cole’s behavior before and after, Nana had been out buying me a big, puffy blue gown. Not from the thrift store. The shiny monstrosity had a lacy corset top, stripes on the skirt and a black hat to top things off.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be—other than a Southern belle magician on crack.
Normally, I wouldn’t leave the house at night wearing anything with colors. And never anything this fantastical. I liked to blend with the shadows. Needed to. Tonight, however, I was making an exception.
I wanted Cole to see me in something other than the tee and shorts I’d sported the past few weeks, and the workout clothes from this morning. I wanted his eyes to light up, and for him to spend the night complimenting me, unable to keep his hands off me. We’d dance. We’d laugh. He’d kiss me. I’d kick myself for worrying about him and Veronica-slash-Ronny.
We weren’t allowed to fight tonight, but I wrapped a utility belt around my thigh anyway, my daggers hanging from the attached sheaths. I never left home without them.
I wondered what costume Cole would be wearing. He hadn’t said. Well, other than the naughty nurse, but I knew that had been a joke.
I stepped into the dress, hooked everything together and studied myself in the mirror. Not bad. Quite fancy. I wished my parents were here to see me. They’d—
I cut off that thought before it could fully form. I’d cry.
Something warm and wet trickled down my cheek. Great. I was already crying.
My cell phone chirped, signaling a text had just come in. I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand.
Cole McHottie: Sorry, Ali, but making plans w/U was a mistake. I need a break. Stay in & we’ll talk 2morrow
I had to read the words three times before reality set in. He needed a freaking break? Seriously?
From what? I wanted to scream. And what, exactly did “need a break” mean?
My anger and disappointment were as sharp as a blade.
Me: WHY? What’s going on w/you? Respect me enough 2 talk 2 me! Apparently that’s how relationships WORK.
A minute passed. Two, three. He didn’t respond.
I threw my phone across the room, and then had to rush over to make sure I hadn’t cracked the screen.
What the heck was he planning to do on this “break”?
And whom was he going to do it with?
This can’t be happening.
My cell phone chirped. Heart racing, I checked the screen.
Mad Dog: Where are U?
Me, pressing the keys a little too forcefully: Home.
Mad Dog: U ditched Cole??
Me: No. He ditched me.
Mad Dog: UH, HE’S HERE. Just walked in.
Wait, wait, wait. He’d meant he needed a break from me?
Yeah. He must have. He had to know Kat would contact me. He had to know I would find out he’d gone to Hearts without me.
He just didn’t care.
I trembled as I typed What’s he doing?
Mad Dog: He’s talking w/Lucas, Veronica & that hobag Trina & get this: he’s wearing a costume that says he’s a bad mofo—meaning, he’s not in costume.
Veronica again.
Me, grinding my teeth: He told me he needed a break from me.
Mad Dog: WHAT? Oh, I’ll give him a break—in both of his legs!! 1st, of course, I’ll spy.
For the next hour, I received nearly fifty texts from Kat.
He’s talking w/Frosty now.
Just came out of shadows w/Justin S—what’s up w/THAT?? Altho, he just had Frosty kick JS out of club & it wasn’t pretty (4 JS).
Just rubbed his knuckles in2 Veronica’s hair. She laughed, & I almost punched her teeth down her throat (don’t 4get my fighting lesson 2morrow!).
Handed hobag Trina a drink.
Handed Lucas a drink.
Talking heatedly w/Gavin.
Walking away from Gavin (I hate the C-man right now, I really do, but he sure does have a nice butt).
Telling me 2 stop following him.
Telling me he knows what I’m doing & getting ticked when I ignore him.
Walking away as I flip him off.
Telling Frosty 2 control me (like that’s really possible).
Becoming more agitated by the second, I stomped downstairs. I trusted Cole; sometimes I trusted him more than I trusted myself. But that didn’t mean I was going to stay here and let him take a “break” without talking to me about it.
Nana was at the front door, handing out the last of the candy to a ghost, a cowboy and a Smurf.
“Nana,” I said as soon as the door was shut. “This is probably the first time in history a teenage girl will pose this question to her grandmother, but, will you drive me to a nightclub? Cole’s there,” I rushed to assure her. “And Frosty and Kat.”
She frowned at me. “I thought Cole was picking you up.”
“I thought so, too,” I said a little bitterly.
“What about the—” her voice lowered to a frightened whisper “—the creatures?”
“You don’t have to worry. To my knowledge, they aren’t out tonight. And even if they do make an appearance, your car is protected with a Blood Line. They can’t get to you.”
Her smile was sad and affectionate at the same time. “I wasn’t worried about me, dear, but my inability to help you.”
Oh. “Nana, it’s my job to protect you.”
The sadness drained from her, leaving only the affection. “No, that’s not how things are supposed to be, but we won’t get into that tonight. Will there be drinking at this club?”
I wouldn’t lie to her. “Yes, but I won’t be doing any and neither will Cole.” Alcohol impaired judgment, and he took his responsibilities as leader seriously. Me? I’d watched alcoholism destroy my dad and was determined to avoid a similar fate.
“Well, I did buy you that...” She motioned to my dress.
What adjective was she looking for? Ginormous? Unforgettable? Behemoth?
“...unique costume,” she finished, “and I want you to be able to show it off. You look so beautiful.”
“Thank you. But, uh, what am I supposed to be, exactly?”
“Alice in Wonderland, silly. And you’re supposed to give the hat to Cole so he can be your Mad Hatter.”
“So you’ll take me?”
She sighed, nodded. “I’ll take you.”
I threw my arms around her. “Thank you, thank you, and thousand times thank you!”
Fifteen minutes later, I was stepping out of her car, and she was driving away. I approached the club’s entrance and gave the guards at the door Cole’s name. They let me inside without a hitch—if you didn’t count the people in line desperate to get in, complaining about my lack of wait.
Multicolored strobe lights flashed, and smoke wafted through the air. There were people everywhere, each in costume. For the girls, there was clearly a theme: slutty. A slutty devil. A slutty fairy. A slutty witch. I felt seriously overdressed. For the guys, there was no rhyme or reason. A shirt made out of cardboard. A toga with pictures of grinning waffles. Clown trousers paired with riding boats. Loud music blared, fueling the frantic motions of the dancers. I navigated up the stairs to the VIP lounge, the width of my skirt only tripping three people. I considered the low number of casualties a major win.
I scanned the top floor and saw all the faces I’d seen at the gym, plus a few extras.
Where was Cole?
Mackenzie Love caught my eye. Wearing a skimpy black dress with colorful peacock feathers stretching over her shoulders, she strutted over. “Well, well. Ali Bell. I’d like to tell you how awesome you look, and if I can figure out a way to sound sincere, I will. What is that thing?”
My cheeks flashed white-hot with embarrassment. “You can’t guess?” I asked, using a scathing tone that suggested she was an idiot. “Wow. How sad for you.”
She paled and stomped away.
“New drinking game, everyone,” the new guy, Gavin, called. Blond and handsome—and dressed as a pimp—he was surrounded by a bevy of hot brunette vampires. “Anytime someone speaks, down a shot!”
Cheers abounded.
“And meanwhile, if anyone wants a free make-out session,” one of the vampires shouted, “I’m giving them away.”
More cheers as a laughing Gavin kissed her.
Then he kissed the girl next to her. He used tongue with both.
I watched, reeling. For once, a vision just had to be wrong. There was no way I’d be into a guy like him. He was beautiful, yes. I’d give him that. But no. Just no.
“Ali!” Kat rushed over and threw her arms around me. She had to be the cutest Little Red Riding Hood I’d ever seen. Her barely there dress was red, black and white, and hugged all of her curves. The tulle skirt flared at the waist and stopped a few inches below her panty line. Long white socks stretched to her knees. “You made it!”
Before I could respond, Cole stalked past us, grabbed my hand and tugged me away from her.
I tossed her a he’s-going-to-get-it-now glance. She gave me a thumbs-up before Cole pulled me into a shadowed corner, and I lost sight of her. He crowded me against the wall, his arms at my temples, caging me in. His heat and scent surrounded me, drugged me.
Oh, no. I wasn’t going to melt this time.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded.
How dare he use that tone with me? “I am so mad at you,” I said, beating at his chest.
His aggressive stance softened in the slightest degree. “I know. And you have every right to be.”
“You ditched me. You want a break from me.”
“Yes. No.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “Not from you. You don’t understand.”
“Of course I don’t! Moron! You haven’t explained it to me. You ignored my text.”
He glared at me, his anger heating back up. “I wanted to be with you, I did, but I couldn’t not come here since I’m the D.D.”
“And you couldn’t bring me with you? Because, and I quote, making plans with me was a mistake?”
“It was. I don’t want you here because I know...”
“What?” I demanded when he paused. I hit him again.
“Gavin is here, all right?” He flashed his teeth in a scowl. “I don’t want you around him, okay? Get it now? I need a break from the jealousy. As long as you’re near him, I can’t get past it.”
How could I want to slap him and kiss him at the same time?
But then, I already knew the answer. I’d been battling the green-eyed monster, too. “I promise you have no reason to be jealous.”
His shoulders drooped. “I know that, in theory, and I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted. I’ve never felt this way, and I’m not handling it well. If you have another vision with him...”
I slid my hands to the nape of his neck and toyed with the ends of his hair. “It wouldn’t make a difference. My feelings won’t change. But I guess we need to talk about what I saw, even though I’d rather forget it.”
“It’s bad, isn’t it?” he croaked.
I nodded, suddenly unable to speak.
“Then I’m not ready.”
He faced monsters on a daily basis, but this was too much for him? Oh, Cole. What am I going to do with you? “Will you trust me, then? Trust my feelings for you?”
A moment passed before he nodded. It was a stiff acceptance, but an acceptance all the same.
I smiled at him.
He smiled back. His gaze raked over me, and his eyelids became heavy, staying at half-mast. “You look edible, by the way. You have no idea how badly I want under that skirt.” His voice dipped huskily as he added, “I wish I had time to prove it.”
Oh.
My.
“Nana said the hat is for you. I’m Alice in Wonderland, and you’re the Mad Hatter.”
With a laugh, he took the hat and settled it on his head.
“So, what are you doing that you don’t have time to try and get under my skirt?” I moved my palms to measure the heavy beat of his heart.
His features closed up shop, displaying zero emotion. “You will just have to trust me.”
A thousand questions sprang to instant life. I ignored them all. As his tone implied, I couldn’t ask him to trust me about the vision if I couldn’t extend him the same courtesy about this. Whatever “this” was. Besides, he could have lied and made up an excuse for his behavior. He hadn’t. He wasn’t that kind of guy. He gave truth, or he gave nothing. I’d always liked that about him.
“Do you have a few minutes to spare?” I asked softly.
He fisted two handfuls of my hair, his grip hard and unyielding, holding me still for his perusal. “For you?” The panic I’d noticed last night returned for one second, two, before he gave me the softest of kisses and whispered, “Anything.”
“Yo, Cole,” a voice said. A head peeked around the corner. “I’m taking off with Kira and Jane and—”
I turned to look, and my gaze locked with Gavin’s.
The world disappeared. Cole disappeared—
—there was only here, now, and Gavin, and we were back inside my bedroom, on my bed, my body on top of his. One of his hands was in my hair. The other was sliding down my back to cup my bottom and urge me to grind against him, hard...harder—
—a low snarl snapped me back to the present. To Cole.
The growl had come from him.
“Yeah, uh, I’ll just be going,” Gavin said, and beat feet.
Cole and I stayed where we were for a long moment, silent.
“What I saw with him...” I began, fighting for calm. I’d said it wouldn’t make a difference, and now had to pray I was right. “It was the first vision all over again.” Only a bit more vivid.
“Don’t tell me,” he lashed out. “Not tonight.”
“Cole—”
“Not tonight, Ali. Please.” With that, he walked away from me for the second time that day.
He watched me from afar the rest of the night, but at least he continued to wear the hat.
* * *
As the days wore on, I had to admit my relationship with Cole was unraveling.
Every day he grew a little more distant with me. Anytime I tried to talk to him about Gavin and the vision, he would shut me down, saying, “I can’t do this right now.”
I was trying to trust him like he’d asked. I really was. But the hot-and-cold treatment was wearing me down. Even though he’d always been lavish with his praise of me, I hadn’t spent the past few weeks mutating into a secure person. Especially with matters of the heart.
Should I call him again?
What was considered good girlfriend behavior? What delved into Stalkerville?
I knew something other than the vision was bugging him. The few times I’d seen him, his features had been withdrawn and pinched. And what had the panic been about? But again, when I tried to talk to him about it, he shut me down and walked away.
I wasn’t sure how much longer I could wait for an explanation about his odd behavior without banging on my chest like a gorilla and screaming.
Eventually, he stopped returning my calls. His replies to my texts were short and abrupt—if he bothered to reply at all. He stopped coming by Mr. Ankh’s, and he stopped working out at his own gym.
Maybe Gavin had told him about the vision, and he’d decided to wash his hands of me?
Oh, good glory. No! I bet that was it, though. Dang it! The admission should have come from me. I should have grown a pair of lady balls and forced Cole to listen to me. Then I could have assured him I would rather die than allow my lips to touch any part of that he-slut’s body.
I hadn’t seen the Georgian slayer since Halloween, and I had no idea what would happen the next time we locked eyes. Part of me didn’t want to know. Part of me needed to know. If nothing happened, I could assure Cole wires had somehow gotten crossed—twice, yes—and I was meant to lick and grind on him.
What should I do next?
I couldn’t talk to Kat about this. She had her own problems, and I wouldn’t add to them.
I couldn’t talk to Reeve. I couldn’t risk a slipup.
I couldn’t talk to Nana. She’d just lost her husband.
I couldn’t even talk to Emma. To her, kissing was gross.
I missed the days when I’d thought the same. I was alone in this.
A bell rang, loud and shrill, signaling the end of class. I stood on shaky legs and gathered my notebook and pencil. Earlier today I’d met the new principal of Asher High, an older black man with kind eyes—a nice change considering the last one had been the queen of ice-cold hearts. I’d turned in all the work the teachers had sent to my sickbed. I was finally caught up.