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Alessa swallowed. On the few occasions she talked to her mother, she was diligently reminded that her window to have children was rapidly closing and if she ever wanted anything more than a bunk bed in a barrack, she needed to find a husband. She usually tuned her mother out, but ever since Aidan, each conversation had pinged her heart in a way the admonition never had before.
“Maybe you should marry another soldier,” Alessa said lightly.
They all shook their heads and turned to Dan, who rolled his eyes. “You’re going to make me tell her, aren’t you?”
Dimples slapped him on the back and Dan smiled at Alessa.
“When I was a young private buck, I fell head over heels for a wide-eyed doe, also a private. It was love in the headlights and we were married within weeks. Then we got deployed to the same desert and I loved it and she didn’t. Got her leg blown off and decided I wasn’t good enough for her anymore.” Dan’s casual shrug and broad smile did little to hide the raw pain in his eyes. A heavy silence fell over the room and Dan’s too-bright smile dropped.
Boots finally broke the somber mood. “Well, I’ve never been married.”
“That’s ’cause there’s no woman out there that can stand the smell of your feet,” Dimples teased.
In response, Boots lifted his foot and shoved it toward Dimples, who smacked it away. Alessa laughed along with the guys, enjoying the good-natured ribbing.
“We’re all here because we love the army,” Boots said more seriously. “I had a girl back home but I broke up with her when I enlisted.”
“Don’t listen to any of them. I’ve been happily married for twelve years and have three adorable children.” Dimples smiled proudly. “My girl gets that country comes first.” He pulled out his phone and turned the screen to show her. “That’s Emmy with my three brats. Army life is good for them. She’s got a house on post, daycare for the baby and school for the older two. We’ve got medical and dental, and she’s got a support system when I get deployed. It’s a good deal.”
The rest of the men went quiet and Alessa got the feeling that they were all trying to figure out whether Dimples was just lucky or whether they had it wrong.
“We all came for Ethan,” Steele said. “He recruited us in one way or another. We believed in him, in the work of this unit.”
“And now?” Alessa prompted.
“We’re here to complete Ethan’s work,” Dan said simply. “All of us were on the mission where we lost him, and we’re gonna make sure we make it right.”
The men nodded solemnly and Alessa’s heart squeezed. How was she going to spy on them for Luke? They were good guys, each sincere in his desire to serve. There was no way one of these men was a traitor.
When they were done eating, she stepped out of the pit and watched the unit members run through a home invasion scenario. She’d already finished the day’s work. Having been assigned to logistics for six months after the incident, she was already familiar with all the army systems. It was mind-numbing drudgery. But she would get to travel with the unit. They were going to Pakistan for a month, and she’d been asked to set up a safe house close to the Afghan border and organize all their travel and meals.
“It’ll be different once we get out of here.”
He’d snuck up on her. She stood at attention. Unlike yesterday, when he’d been dressed in fatigues just like her, Luke was dressed in jeans and a polo shirt.
“Sir?”
“Call me Luke. I’m sure the guys gave you the lowdown. We keep the formalities around Colonel McBride, but inside the unit, there’s no rank.”
“Except for you.”
“Someone has to be in charge. But the guys are involved in all major decisions.”
“Except the one to hire me. Or use me as a spy.”
He pressed his mouth into a thin line but then his lips turned upward and he grinned broadly. “Parrino, you’re going to keep me in line, and I like it.”
Better watch this one. He was one of those guys who flirted without even thinking about it. Fabio. Except his transgressions hadn’t halted his career as they had hers.
“Are you going to fill me in?”
He motioned toward his office and closed the door behind them. After she was seated, he pushed a file across the desk. “The safe house the team was using blew up. Ethan walked right into it. The rest of the team was out on surveillance and he returned to check something out. Dimples and Rodgers came to the house when Ethan stopped responding and found it burnt to the ground. They pulled out Ethan’s charred body. Forensics identified him from DNA and dental records.”
“So why do you think he’s still alive?”
“I’ll get to that. First, I want you to consider how the safe house was compromised.”
“Surely someone has already looked into that.” There was no way the guys in the unit would have accepted that it was Ethan’s body otherwise.
“This unit doesn’t really exist. We’re technically paper pushers tasked with archiving old army records. The official story is that Ethan died in a training accident. So only the unit members have been studying the details, and we’ve found nothing. The guys only believed it after the DNA results came back. But the safe house could only have been compromised by someone on the inside. We suspect someone in the army set him up.”
She flipped through the file. There were pictures of the burnt house and Ethan’s body. It wasn’t recognizable. Reading through the operational details, it was obvious the unit had been set up. But how? The only people who knew of the operation were the unit members. Even Colonel Black Tag didn’t have all the details.
“So I just set up the safe house in Pakistan. I’m the only one who knows where we’re going, but I used army assets to find it. If someone on the inside knows we’re going there, it wouldn’t take them long to use the same resources I did and by process of elimination, identify our safe house.”
Before he opened his mouth, she held up her hand. “I need to find a new one, not using army assets.”
“Good, you’re a quick study. As hard as it is, don’t do things the army way.”
Easier said than done. The army way was all she knew.
“Okay, so someone on the inside knew you were going there. Possibly a member of the unit.” Even as she said the words, she couldn’t see any of those guys betraying them. They were a team. They’d been together for six months, and while they hadn’t fully accepted Luke as their commander, they believed in the unit. She’d seen that in the way they handled themselves during the exercise. Each member was top notch.
“I’d be surprised if it’s one of my guys, but I’m not eliminating that possibility. You weren’t a part of the unit when they lost Ethan, which is why you’re the only one I’m reading in on the next part.”
“Why you think your brother is still alive.”
He slid another folder toward her. It was the autopsy report. She scanned it, not knowing what he wanted her to find. The DNA test seemed pretty conclusive.
“Page 7, the skeletal scan.”
She flipped to that page, then looked at him questioningly.
“It shows his ribs are intact. He fractured his ribs when we were kids.”
So that was why he’d picked up on her broken bones.
“Maybe the coroner missed it.”
“He didn’t. I showed the original X-rays to another doctor. No broken ribs.”
“Maybe you’re mistaken about the break.”
He shook his head. “We were thirteen and spending the summer with a cousin overseas. Ethan got trampled by a sheep. When we stopped laughing, we figured out Ethan was in real pain and took him to the hospital. The fractures were obvious on the X-rays, even to me. He was in bed and I had to take care of him for the better part of the summer.”
She sat back in her chair. There had to be a more reasonable explanation.
“I’ve spent two months thinking about this and the only possibility is the dead body wasn’t Ethan.”
“The DNA tests.”
“Were based on matches in our database. Someone could have switched the records. Same with the dental scans.”
Realization dawned on her. “The broken ribs—you weren’t on post. You went to a private hospital so it wouldn’t be in the army records.”
He clicked his fingers and pointed them at her. “Even my father didn’t know about the broken ribs. I need to get to the bottom of what happened with Ethan. Call it the twin intuition thing, but I feel it in my bones—he’s not dead.”
Alessa’s sister, Julia, was three years younger than her but while they were growing up, Alessa could always sense when Julia was in danger. She couldn’t even imagine what it was like to have an identical twin. If Luke believed Ethan was alive, then chances were good that he was.
“How can I help?”
“Right now, learn your job. Rodgers has been doing logistics, so he’ll talk you through the mistakes you made on today’s assignment. Get friendly with the guys, be a member of the unit. If you hear something that seems suspicious, let me know.”
A cold dread seeped into her bones. That’s how it had started with Aidan. Personal favors that seemed innocuous, part of the job even. But the mistake she’d made with Aidan was that she’d let him get too close. Forgotten the fact that she was an enlisted soldier and he was a commissioned officer, which meant they couldn’t even be friends. She wouldn’t do that with Luke.
Luke stood and she followed suit, getting ready to salute him, the way she would any other superior officer, but he extended his hand and she automatically took it.
“We wear civilian clothes to shed the army way. No saluting. From now on, we’re colleagues, perhaps even friends.”
She looked into his ocean blue eyes. I can’t be friends with you. That would be dangerous. Her career couldn’t withstand one more rumor of an improper relationship with a superior officer.
CHAPTER FOUR
THREE DAYS INTO the unit and Alessa didn’t know whether she’d made the best or worst decision of her army career. Now that she had to do things the un-army way, the logistics job was much harder than she’d expected. It was easy to click through some databases and fill out paperwork, but a whole other task to rely on general internet searches and online contacts to set up the most basic arrangements. There wasn’t exactly an Expedia for safe houses and covert air transportation.
It was a challenge she welcomed, but it also left her little time to train with the team. She’d been stuck behind a desk for the better part of three days. The guys stopped by to see her and that made it even harder. They were kindhearted men who genuinely respected her, and no matter how many times she told herself she would prove them innocent, she felt disingenuous in her attempts to bond.
Tapping at the keys, she reconfirmed yet another one of the details for the team’s upcoming trip. Every logistic mattered. They were going into unfriendly territory without the cover of the army. If she overlooked even one minor point, she could jeopardize the team’s safety.
“You’ve been sitting behind a desk way too long.”
Alessa turned to find Luke leaning over her shoulder. He smelled of soap and coffee and looked entirely too fresh for the late afternoon.
“You’re right. Want to give me a field designation and hire someone else for logistics?” She was surprised that she managed to make her voice sound normal despite the fact that her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth.
He eyed her monitor, then placed his hand over hers on the computer mouse and clicked to see the itinerary she’d been working on. He moved his hand before she could snatch back her own. She had barely processed the invasion when he pointed to the document he’d pulled up and asked her about their travel plans.
She answered his questions, miraculously focusing on the content of the inquiry and not on the lack of personal space between them. The heat from his body made her shift in her seat. This mission was too important for her to be distracted, and Luke was a superior officer. Pull yourself together, Parrino.
He pointed out some issues in her plans and she bit her lip to keep from screaming in frustration. Luke wasn’t wrong; he was catching some fine points she should have thought about.
“It’s a good start. Keep at it and you’ll get it,” he said encouragingly. Alessa nodded blandly but all she wanted to do was pull her hair out. With the things he’d pointed out, she still had a lot of work ahead of her, which meant she’d be behind the desk for a while. At least in Kuwait she got to go out on patrol once a day even when she was on primary desk duty.
“Why don’t you take a break and come do some exercises with the team? We’re in the pit.”
If Luke hadn’t been standing so close, she would’ve jumped up immediately.
“Thank you, I’d like that,” she said serenely.
He placed a hand on her shoulder and she flinched involuntarily. He immediately pulled back. She stood and followed him across the warehouse, but he stopped before reaching the pit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to touch... I mean...” He took a breath and she shuffled on her feet. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said finally.
“I like boundaries,” she said simply. Alessa shouldn’t have been bothered by his proximity. Personal space was a luxury you didn’t get in battle. She was used to the closeness of men, riding in trucks, staying in tight quarters. She and Luke were an officer and a soldier, nothing more. She wouldn’t have bristled if Rodgers had put a hand on her shoulder. She’d had full body contact with Rodgers when they were fighting and hardly noticed. In fact, she’d seen all of the team, minus Luke, in various stages of undress and it hadn’t bothered her at all. All the more reason to keep my distance from him. The last thing she needed was another Aidan situation.
When they stepped into the pit, Luke divided everyone into teams and paired Alessa with Steele. They would be practicing close-quarters combat. Alessa and Steele were the first team, so she only had a few minutes to warm up. Each pair would fight in the pit while everyone else watched from the outside to give them tips afterward. It felt like being in a fishbowl, but that was also part of the training. To focus on the fight despite distractions. She got into the exercise with gusto. It felt good to get rid of her pent-up energy and she quickly had Steele on the ground.
“Told you, man, she’s small but mighty.” Rodgers said in a gloating tone as they stepped out of the Plexiglas cube so the next team could take a turn.
“Okay, I want each of you to figure out how your partner got the better of you, then switch partners. It’s important to know your own weakness, acknowledge what your partner exploited,” Luke instructed. The guys had told Alessa that unlike Ethan, Luke spent a lot of time in running exercises himself.
They worked at the exercise for the better part of two hours until Alessa had pretty much kicked all of the men to the ground.
“C’mon guys,” Luke yelled. “I want at least one of you to find Parrino’s weak spot. Get inside her head.”
“She’s made of titanium,” Dimples quipped, his characteristic smile lopsided as he grabbed the side of his head that Alessa had slammed into the wall.
“Everyone has a weak spot, guys, and you need to find hers,” Luke said firmly.
“Oh, yeah? If you think it’s that easy, why don’t you do it?” Rodgers shot back. Alessa sensed that Rodgers had been a little hesitant on their second fight and she’d told him his fear was what made him an easy target. He’d been afraid of her based on their previous encounter, which made him tentative, and that hesitation would be the death of him in a real combat situation. She didn’t have the strength that the men did, so she got the better of them through lightning-fast moves.
“Yeah, Lieutenant, why don’t you show us grunts how it’s done,” Dimples jeered.
Alessa looked at Luke and smiled at the panic evident in his eyes. It would be fun to kick his rear end to the ground, put him in his place. She cracked her knuckles.
“What, you afraid to get whooped by a girl?” she taunted.
He narrowed his eyes, then gestured to Alessa. Luke stepped onto the rubber mat and held the door while Alessa stepped across the threshold, unable to contain the smirk on her face. Luke closed the door behind him.
He stepped toward her. The guys wouldn’t be able to hear them with the door closed but he kept his voice low.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.
Of course not. Her stomach fluttered as she studied the stormy blues of his eyes. Fighting with someone meant close body contact. His proximity at the computer had been enough to supercharge her senses. Was she really ready for that again? He raised his brows, giving her a way out. All she had to say was no. She wasn’t required to do this training. After all, she was only the logistics person. Fighting him was a bad idea. A very bad idea.
“It’s on,” she said, chin raised.
His eyes darkened and he stepped back from her, his jaw set. There were no rules in this exercise. The idea was to take down your opponent by any means necessary using your bare hands. The rest of the team was watching intently behind the Plexiglas. Her gaze was laser focused on Luke.
Alessa’s martial arts training had drummed into her the importance of looking into the opponent’s eyes to anticipate his next move. It usually worked for her, but not this time. Looking into Luke’s eyes was like watching the swirls of a tornado. Get it together!
He wouldn’t make the first move. In a disciplined fight, offense was not always the best defense. If she moved first, it would give him time to react. He would get to decide whether to evade, block or retaliate. He’d be the one with the choices and she would give away her preferred fight mode. The movies often showed two adversaries circling each other ready to pounce, but neither of them did that. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours but was in fact mere seconds.
Luke wasn’t going to budge. Alessa had to make her move. She led with a kick, hoping to throw him off balance, but he was expecting it and blocked her deftly. She anticipated a counter punch, but it never came. She successfully twisted away from him and they were back in the face-off.
He’d had the perfect opportunity to at least get a jab into her, and he hadn’t taken it. Why? While it was understood that they wouldn’t seriously injure each other in these exercises, everyone expected to walk away sore and bruised, including Alessa. The bruises would remind them of their weak spots so they could protect them better next time. Luke should have taken at least one punch.
Most people thought fighting was about power and speed. And it was. But it was also about messing with the opponent’s head. Faking left and going right was the simplistic version of that.
She inched closer to him. “You’ll regret pulling that punch,” she said, then jabbed at him with her fists. She was at a significant disadvantage. Her arms were shorter than his, and just as she expected, he blocked her with ease. But counting on the fact that he wouldn’t make an aggressive move, she turned and slammed her body against his, pushing him hard into the wall.
She heard his moan a millisecond after the thud of his body against the solid Plexiglas.
“Alessa, I don’t want to do this.” The way he said her name, the apology in his tone, sent warmth through her heart. It was her downfall, the momentary distraction. She was already at a disadvantage trying to hold down his large body with her smaller one. Before she knew it, Luke had spun her around and pinned her arms to her back. He held her close, his grip firm. Focusing on the rise and fall of his chest, she calculated her next move. She wasn’t going to let him get inside her head again.
In a normal fight, he could put a knee to her back and push her to the mat, but instead he leaned closer to whisper in her ear.
“You underestimate me. Maybe I was just making you comfortable to get the better of you.” If the words were meant to be menacing, they were badly delivered. His breath was ragged in her ear, his voice thick and throaty. Is he also having trouble concentrating? She shook off the thought. He was trying to distract her.
She kicked behind her, catching Luke in the knee. Hard enough that he grunted and loosened his grip just a fraction, which was all she needed to free herself from his grasp. She whipped around to face him in their now-familiar standoff.
His eyes smoldered. Her entire body burned. I could end this now, say I’m not feeling well. Fighting Luke was a kind of torture she didn’t need. It didn’t matter what he did or did not feel for her. There was at least a flirtation between them and the entire team was watching. Try as she might, she couldn’t focus on the fight and the guys would know it. She needed to be above reproach to counteract everything that had happened in Kuwait. The guys had all been in the pit with her; they knew she didn’t fight this sloppily.
Time to focus. Whenever she was in over her head in a fight, she thought about her father. It was a good tactic to bring in a rush of anger that helped her overcome any pain or doubt. The trick had never failed her. But now, all she could think about was the way he was looking at her. No man had ever looked at her that way. More importantly, no man had ever made her feel the way Luke was right now. Like she mattered. Like he cared. Shake it off Alessa, it’s not real. But she couldn’t.
A bang on the Plexiglas made them both flinch. Rodgers held up his hands in a gesture of confusion. They’d been standing there without doing anything for several minutes. Alessa took a breath. She had to get through this; if the guys thought there was anything other than a professional relationship between her and Luke, her career was over.
I need to end this. Rodgers was still miming, and while Luke’s attention was on the other man, she charged at him with everything she had. She crashed into him as she intended, but he twisted away. Before she could deliver her final blow, he pivoted and crouched at the same time. He knocked her off her feet. She landed on the padded floor but not before she managed to sweep her leg under his. She turned immediately, intending to get up before he regained his balance but he was too quick. He rolled over top of her to keep her down.
His face was less than an inch away from hers, their noses nearly touching. His blue eyes drew her in and she found herself unable to look away. Even though she knew it was crazy, she felt as if a riptide was pulling her into the depths of his soul.
They were both frozen, unsure of what to do with such intimate contact. “We’re ending this.” Luke said softly. He shifted his weight with a clear intention to let her up.
As soon as she had room to move, she shoved against his chest and his grunt told her she’d successfully knocked the wind out of him. It was a provocation. His eyes flashed at her, a clear warning that she was playing with fire. But Alessa wasn’t going to let up. Never in her life had she been so aware of every nerve in her body. She wasn’t ready to let go of whatever it was that was igniting her from the inside.
She was still in a vulnerable position and this time he didn’t go easy on her. He returned her jab and attempted to pin her back down but she was quicker, managing to twist away from him while delivering a few kicks. Luke had asked them to train with their shoes off, partly to avoid serious injuries but also because shoes add an inch or so to the foot. If they got used to kicking with bare feet, the extra shoe length in real combat would maximize their contact with an opponent. Alessa had trained barefooted in martial arts gyms, breaking boards with her hands and feet. She knew all about aiming past the target to maximize her blow and she used this training to the fullest. Luke moaned after a particularly vicious jab that she managed to land on his solar plexus. When she paused to make sure she hadn’t gone too far, Luke came at her within a second and she forgot all about her concern. Now that they were in the throes of the fight and he’d stopped handling her delicately, she was enjoying their encounter. Luke was good. Better than the rest of the team, even Rodgers.